The Storm King Conquers the Teletubbies

Chapters

Chapter 1: "Time for a Practice Run"
Chapter 2: "Practice Run"
Chapter 3: "After the Practice Run"

Chapter 1: "Time for a Practice Run"

The conqueror known as the Storm King was a creature who always wanted his warriors to be in the best fighting shape possible. In order to conqueror each land he targeted, he would have his warriors train themselves for the task ahead, even if it meant orchestrating faux missions of every insignificant creature that stood in their way.

Shortly before the invasion of Canterlot, he summoned his newly recruited lieutenant into his office aboard his ship, a unicorn pony with a broken horn named Fizzlepop Berrytwist.

"You called for me, sire?" the broken horned pony asked as she walked into his office.

"Yes, commander Tempest," he replied, sitting from behind a desk. "I know you are still trying to work your way your up the ranks, so I'm just…gonna cut to the chase. There is a land out there where you came from that I have been meaning to visit for quite some time."

"You mean Equestria, your excellency?" sighed Tempest, rolling her eyes.

"That yeah," remarked the Storm King, sitting back in his chair. "Equestria, your former home. Now, I have been planning to conqueror Equestria, however some of my troops under your command haven't been performing up to my standards or they are out of practice. I want this conquest to be perfect, so I feel like you should…"

Right away, Tempest guessed what her boss was trying to tell her. A small smile came to her face upon hearing this.

"…do a practice run? On some weak creature that won't stand in our way? You tell me where to go and I will do it."

"Ah, hungry for blood aren't we?" laughed the Storm King. "I like minions who are up to my level and determination."

"You tell me where to go and I will go do your bidding, sire."

"Okay," replied the Storm King, reaching into his desk and pulling out a map. "As for the land you need to target in your practice run, it is a land that is not largely inhabitated, but does have creatures that have magic."

"Is it powerful magic?"

"You might say that, Tempest."

He unfurled the map and on it was a small land illustrated by hills and windmills. Suddenly, Tempest felt unimpressed by what she saw before her eyes.

"This is the land?" she wondered, her grinning slowly disappearing. "It looks…small."

"Small, yes. But it is a perfect training ground for everyone. In other words, this conquering will be more…supervised…by yours truly."

Just then, Grubber the hedgehog came in bringing in some food in his paws.

"Oh, hey there, sire," said the lisping hedgehog, placing the food on the Storm King's desk. "I brought you some marmalade sandwiches from the kitchen."

"Um, wait a moment, Grubber. I was just telling Commander Tempest of a practice run before we conquer Equestria."

"Um, training session? Why do we need a training session?"

"Because he said so," remarked Tempest, giving her sidekick a hard stare. "Sorry, your excellency."

"That's all right, this isn't the first time," answered the Storm King, eating one of the marmalade sandwiches. Suddenly, he looked towards the sandwiches and got himself an idea, an awful idea.

The Storm King got a wonderful, awful idea.

"Um, sire?" Tempest asked, raising an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Take a look at these sandwiches," he said, pushing the plate of sandwiches in front of them. "How many sandwiches do you see?"

"Three, including the one you are eating now?" Tempest asked confusingly. "I'm sorry, your excellency. What is your point, exactly?"

"How many alicorns are in Equestria?"

"Four?"

"Exactly," said the Storm King, using the sandwiches to illustrate his point. "Pretend these sandwiches are the four alicorns. For each one represents an alicorn and an eaten sandwich represents that alicorn's magic already in my possession."

"And who is the alicorn you are eating?" asked Grubber, only for Tempest to nudge him in the side.

"Um, who is the recently crowned alicorn? The one who has the entourage?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," answered Tempest bitterly, a hint of jealousy in her voice. "She gets all the glory."

"What's that, Commander Tempest? You dislike her?"

"She has everything that I have ever wanted, sire. She got to be Princess Celestia's student, she became an alicorn and she became a princess. I wanted to have all she had and that was all taken away from me."

Almost immediately, Grubber couldn't help but feel sorry for his superior. But little did he and Tempest herself know that the Storm King was going to use this to his advantage later on.

"Well, just remember what we agreed upon, Tempest," reminded the Storm King. "Give me the princesses and I give you back your horn."

"It won't be a problem," Tempest replied in a low voice.

"Of course, we still have our little training session," remarked the Storm King, reaching down to press a button on his desk. "Captain, set a course for Teletubby land."

This made Tempest's eyes widen.

"Tele what?"

"Teletubby land," the Storm King answered in a high-pitched baby talk voice. Home of the Teletubbies, creatures that speak entirely in baby talk."

"No wonder he's making it easy," whispered Grubber.

"Now, there are four Teletubbies that live in Teletubby land. Each Teletubby represents a princess we are targeting, so I want you both to read these lines."

He handed Tempest and Grubber each a piece of paper for them to read. On the paper was a series of words in the form of a script.

"You want us to read these lines?"

"Well, yeah. That is the point of this training session, isn't it? This isn't just any preparation, this is a practice run for our ultimate goal of conquering Equestria and obtaining the magic of the Alicorn Princesses. Everyone is playing a part whether they like it or not, understand?"

Slightly disturbed by her superior getting close to her, Tempest agreed and she and Grubber left the Storm King's office to prepare for this so called training session.

…

A little while later, the Storm King's fleet descended on Teletubbyland, blocking out the baby-faced sun, who could only cry in terror as the dark clouds covered it from view.

The practice run was about to begin..

…

Chapter 2: "Practice Run"

With our superior overseeing this so-called "practice run," we landed our ships in front of a strange structure that looked like an igloo.

"Uh, Grubber," the Storm King said through a megaphone. "That's your cue, you know."

I found the hedgehog with his head in the clouds, taking in the land that we were meant to conquer.

"Grubber, that's your cue!" I repeated, stamping my foot down and getting him to pay attention to what he needed to do. "Make your announcement."

"All right, all right, I'm going," Grubber muttered carrying the equipment he needed to make the announcement. "Jeez, what a grouch."

Stepping off of the ship, Grubber was met by a creature in purple attire with a gray square on his stomach. A strange antennae was on its head. Amazingly, the creature didn't show any fear.

"Eh oh!" the creature said, waving his paw to Grubber much to our irritation.

"Your excellency," I thought to myself. "Why have you brought us here?"

"Oh and Grubber," the Storm King remarked. "Why don't you put a little confidence in your introductory speech? Make the victim sound terrified of Commander Tempest."

Taking the microphone in his paw, Grubber addressed the purple who was then joined by three more identical creatures: one in green, one in yellow and one in red.

"Teletubbies of Teletubby land," Grubber began, looking right at them. "We come to you on behalf of our wise and caring leader, the Storm King!"

"Wise and caring, Grubber?" the Storm King snapped. "I'm not wise and caring! Look at them! Do they look terrified to you?"

"Eh oh!"

The hedgehog chuckled nervously as I gave him yet another hard stare to get him to do his job right.

"Teletubbies of Teletubby land," he began again. "We come to you on behalf of the murderous and ruthless despot, the Storm King!"

"Uh oh!"

All of a sudden, the four Teletubbies retreated into their house in fright.

"Grubber," the Storm King groaned. "Now, you are making it too scary! You can't make it too cheerful and you can't make it too scary! It needs to be just right! Let's try this again!"

Doing as he was told, Grubber took the microphone equipment and went back aboard the ship.

"Now," instructed the Storm King. "Get out there and put some effort into it."

"Um, might I suggest I go in there and talk to them without the microphone?" suggested Grubber.

"What message do you think will that send? Stay outside!"

So Grubber tried again, trying to put some effort into getting the Teletubbies to realize what they were dealing with.

"Teletubbies of Teletubby land!" he called out to the Teletubbies from inside their igloo fortress "We come on behalf of the fearsome, the powerful, the almighty... Storm King!"

Listening from inside his office, the Storm King felt satisfied by what he heard. However, the Teletubbies wouldn't come out and face Grubber.

"Okay that's good," he said. "It's not too scary and its not too cheerful. Now you need to introduce Commander Tempest. "

Following his instructions, Grubber cleared his throat and gave the next part of his introduction.

"And now," he announced. "To deliver the evil, evil message, put your paws together for Commander Tempest!"

Right on cue, I stepped off of the ship and advanced towards the door, which opened and the Teletubbies looked up nervously at Tempest as I walked inside.

"Um, what are you doing?" asked the Storm King, looking at me through the screen. "Why are you going inside?"

"Because it's obvious that they aren't going to come out and face us," I replied. "I need to go inside and…"

"No, no, no," interrupted the Storm King. "They need to come out and face you head on! If you can't get them to come out on their own, then you must force them! You have a broken horn, use it!"

That struck a chord with me. He was telling me to use my broken horn to get them to come out. As much as I didn't want to use forceful tactics, I didn't have much of a choice. Using whatever magic I had in my broken horn, I forced the door open and forced the Teletubbies to come out of their hiding places.

"Uh oh!" they cried, trying to run back inside their security. I then used another spell to get them to stop moving and face me at attention.

"Now," I said, firmly yet toughly. "How about we start with your complete and total surrender?"

The four Teletubbies merely just looked at each other with fear in their eyes. In their minds, all they wanted was to be left alone. But that is not what the Storm King does and neither did I.

"All right, let me put it in simpler terms," I corrected myself. "Here's the deal, babies, I need your magic. Hand it over now or we make it difficult for everyone!"

"Commander Tempest?" the Storm King remarked again.

"What is it, sire?"

"There is only four of them. No one else lives here."

"Thanks for the obvious."

"Bibberly Cheese!" the yellow Teletubby cried, trying to fire a blast of magic from her antennae and struck me in the face, causing me to release my grip on them. The rest of the Teletubbies fired their blasts of magic also from their antennae's. However, rather than feeling pain, I felt a sense of adrenaline build up inside of me.

"I was hoping you'd go that route," I laughed and reached into one of my pockets and threw a green orb at the purple Teletubby, hitting him and slowly turning him into stone. The rest of the Teletubbies became desperate and continued to try and strike me with their blasts of magic. Seeing what was happening inside, the Storm King felt it was time to act.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he shouted to his soldiers. "Get in there and help your commander!"

Heeding his order, the soldiers raced into the igloo and helped me take on the Teletubbies. With the green one subdued, I threw another green orb at him, striking him in the chest. Suddenly, one of the soldiers had his spear taken out of his hands and a strange blue creature with eyes and a long trunk sucked the spear up.

"Noo noo!" the yellow Teletubby cried. "Noo noo!"

Realizing that this creature was going to be a hinderance to the operation, I attempted to fire a green orb at it, but the creature was soon overpowered by several guards and beaten into pieces. This gave me another chance to freeze the remaining Teletubbies with the orbs. The yellow Teletubby attempted to hide under a table, only to be struck and frozen where she was. The red Teletubby attempted to get out of the igloo only to be stopped by a green orb, freezing it right where she laid.

"Easy as Pie," I whispered.

The practice run was over and now it was time to hear the results of the run…

Chapter 3: "After the Practice Run"

With our practice run of Teletubby land completed, his excellency used his so called staff to absorb the magic from the Teletubbies and then proceeded to give us all the results of the practice run. All of us were gathered inside the Teletubbies' igloo home while he stood over the destroyed body of the Noo Noo creature.

"Now, as you know this was a practice run," he explained. "So, there were some errors that you all committed. Let's begin with the obvious, you, Grubber!"

He pointed his staff at Grubber, causing him to gulp nervously.

"Uh, me?"

"Your introductory speech was…how shall I say it?...a lot to be desired! You don't sugarcoat my entrance for anything and I am not saying that because you enjoy eating."

"Well, it's a work in process, sire. I'm not trying to make you look bad in any way. I'll work on perfecting the speech."

"Good," he replied, tossing a round piece of food with a smiley face on it. "Have some Tubby Toast."

With Grubber turned towards the Tubby Toast, the rest of us waited for the next set of instructions.

"Um, Tempest Shadow," he said, looking towards me. "Your fighting abilities are impressive, but you don't fired unless your fired upon, got it?"

This to me was a shock, considering the fact that yes, they were firing upon me. However, his excellency saw it otherwise.

"What do you mean don't fire until fired upon? They were firing blasts of magic at me."

"Well, those blasts were nothing more than beams of light, harmless except to your eyes. But, the ponies of Equestria are nothing short of being defensive. They're magic is real and it's something that I want. But, you don't let it bring you down. The Teletubbies are not like the alicorns. They show fear and just run and hide, but the alicorns will not fight. They are the real deal and must not be taken lightly."

He then proceeded, to use whatever magic he had obtained to produce a screen that showed a picture of my former home, Canterlot.

"This is Canterlot," he continued, pointing his staff at the picture of Equestria's capitol. "Where the alicorns of Equestria live and play. Teletubby land was just an appetizer, this is the main course."

"What about dessert?" asked Grubber, still munching on the Tubby Toast.

"It'll be waiting for us, don't worry about that. For the rest of you, why don't you help yourself to what these guys have to offer?"

Sure enough, the rest of the Storm Creatures went about snatching all of the Teletubbies' personal properties including a large orange ball, a scooter, a black and white hat and a red handbag. Not that all of it was going to benefit us in the long run, of course.

"Sire, I still felt like I should have fired upon," I said in a confused tone. "Are you certain of what you said?"

"Tempest, I was only trying to prove a point," he answered, placing an arm around my neck. The Teletubbies were harmless, but its as I said, the alicorns are not. Let's take what we learn and take it to the next conquest, shall we?"

With those words said, we took what we could and left Teletubby land behind with our target now set on Canterlot. As for the Teletubbies? They'll be out of commission for a while.

…

THE END