In the middling hours of the night, Twilight Sparkle was digging through her kitchen cupboards in search of something very important.

"Miles?" called Twilight.

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Could you please pass me that corkscrew from the other room? The one on the mantle." Miles had been living in the castle for scarcely a day now, and Twilight was going to try and make him a meal of sorts to make him truly feel at home.

She had insisted that neither Spike nor Starlight help with the preparations.

"Of course I can, Twilight. I'll only be a moment." Miles walked over to the door and peered back around the frame at Twilight. "Don't do anything too fun without me, princess." Miles winked as he disappeared from the room.

Twilight smiled bashfully and waved just as he turned to leave the room, leaving her waving at nothing and feeling like a dork.

"Ahem..." Twilight coughed into her hoof, playing it off cool in case anyone happened to be watching. She returned to digging through the cupboard, huffing in frustration as she dug.

The stove above her head held various pots and pans. Twilight seemed to be preparing enough food to feed an army - perhaps she had overestimated Miles's appetite on account of his size? No, he was very large; this should be enough for him... She hadn't even asked what his species' diet was like, but she assumed she couldn't go wrong with various thick soups and fresh bread.

The saucepans bubbled and popped as her frustration grew, the ambience of the kitchen taking on a droning hue that mirrored her growing impatience.

About an hour previously, Spike had been unable to warn Miles of Twilight's obsessive, panicky nature and her horrifically abominable cooking skills before she had ushered him out of the room in a hurry.

Twilight said to herself, "Oh... Where did I put that bottle?" She flicked her tail in irritation as she continued to dig through the seemingly endless cupboard. "It's gotta be here somewhere..." Before she knew it, she had dug so far into the cupboard that only her tail stuck out of the opening. "I can't make a nice meal for Miles without the red wine! Oh, please let it be in here..." She continued to dig deeper and deeper, not realising that she had subconsciously dug herself about 5 feet deep into her cupboard.

Twilight heard Miles's heavy footsteps as he returned with the corkscrew. Her head bolted up in alarm, not wanting to be caught in an embarrassing or compromising position, causing her to bump her head on the ceiling of the cupboard.

"OW!!!" she yelped.

Miles looked around the room for a moment. After sourcing the noise, he made his way over to the open cupboard. Miles said, "Are you alright in there, Twilight? I have your corkscrew." He leaned down to peer through the entrance of the cupboard only to see Twilight rubbing her head and hissing in pain.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine..." she replied.

"Okay, good. Why is your cupboard so... Deep?"

Twilight looked over at him and then around at her surroundings, noticing her cupboard was not only around three times as deep as it was supposed to be, but also that its contents had seemingly been multiplied. "Huh... How did I not notice that...? Oh, well. I'll check some of the other cupboards in just a second once I get out."

Twilight wiggled forwards for a few moments with her eyes squinted closed, grinning in Miles's direction sheepishly. She opened them again, however, after she realised she was still in the cupboard. Miles was looking down at her with an eyebrow raised and a hand to his chin. He said, "Twilight... I don't mean to cause you alarm, but... The more you attempt to approach me, the deeper you're being pulled back into the cupboard."

"W-What?!" Twilight now began to scramble in Miles' direction, and sure enough, the inside of the cupboard seemed to extend more and more as she crawled. The walls of the cupboard seemed to bend and warp. Suddenly, she was weightless and screamed as she fell into unknown depths below her kitchen.

"YAAAH! MILES!!!" she screamed.

Miles merely looked down into the cupboard, now no longer able to see Twilight at all, an expression of confusion plastered across his face. "What in the world just...? I swear, this damned magic..." He felt no need to follow her into the cupboard; he'd been the victim of magic's horrors one too many times already.

Upon hearing her scream from deep inside the cupboard, Miles decided to go and find Starlight or spike. They might know what to do about this, considering he knew next to nothing about magic.

Twilight heard no reply from Miles as she continued to fall seemingly forever. She tried to flap her wings in a desperate attempt to fly back up to the surface, but her wings were pinned to her sides by an unknown force. After about a minute of falling, Twilight became hysterical, flailing around as she feared she would be stuck in an endless descent until she passed into the next world.

Suddenly, all of her momentum ceased, and she floated in place. Somehow, her instantaneous deceleration from terminal velocity to stationary had caused her no bodily harm whatsoever.

She flared her horn and glanced around at her surroundings. She seemed to be floating in an infinite void of purple space. Twilight's panic settled down just as quickly as it had peaked when she noticed a familiar, serpentine being pop into existence below her.

"Discord! What in Equestria are you doing?!" Twilight snarled down at the draconequus, attempting to swat at him with her hooves, but remaining held in place by the now known force of Discord's magic.

"Oh! Twilight! How nice of you to drop by my dimension... What brings you here on this fine, chaotic day?" Discord snapped his talons and the two were suddenly standing on a floating piece of land in the void, which held Discord's house.

His eyes were half-lidded as he summoned up a lounge chair and flung himself on it. He snapped his talons and Twilight found herself lying next to him on one of her own, a pair of sunglasses across her brow and a ray-reflecting mirror in her hooves.

Twilight angrily flung away the mirror and glasses and shouted, "Discord! Why'd you just drag me here?! I was terrified!"

"Now now, Twilight, let's just caaalm down." Discord sat himself up and poked Twilight's snout with his paw, causing her face to scrunch up in confusion. Discord chuckled before grabbing her and pulling her towards him, petting her mane like a villain holding a cat.

He noticed Twilight twitching with rage in his lap as her horn powered up, and so snapped his talons and removed it, immediately rendering her powerless. "H-Hey, give that back! And stop treating me like a pet!" She hopped off of his lap and faced him with a murderous glare. Discord was clearly amused, yet relented.

"Alright, alright. Just please calm yourself; I had a very good reason for bringing you here, my dear." He snapped his talons and her horn reappeared on her head.

Twilight scoffed, "I'm sure you did, Discord, but not a good reason for the way you brought me here. I could've had a heart attack!"

"Look, I'm sorry. I was just having fun," replied the draconequus, letting his arms drop to the floor. Literally.

Twilight's anger slowly dissipated as she sighed explosively. She knew Discord by this point; he had his... Unique ways of doing things. Him being so ready to offer up an apology was a fantastic contrast to when he had previously struggled to force the word 'sorry' past his lips: a further testament to just how far her chaotic friend had come. "Okay... Anyway. Why did you bring me here, Discord? What's your good reason for summoning me so suddenly?" Twilight sat down on the grass, indignantly waiting for a reply.

A gigantic, blue and orange speckled monster that Twilight had never seen before flew past their island as Discord stood from his seat and said, "Well, I would invite you inside, but this will be very brief..."

"Yes?" Twilight prompted, raising an eyebrow impatiently.

"I'd like you to watch our little tea party with the ape in secret."

Twilight groaned in frustration. "Guh! I knew it! You still don't trust him..."

Discord sighed and ran his paw down his snout, stretching it out like an elastic band as he did so before letting go as it snapped back against his face.

"You seem to trust him - and while I still have my doubts - I would like to trust him too." He dropped to the ground, now standing with his claw to his beard as he spoke. "So, if you watch our tea party together, you'll be able to watch for any aggression from him if he tries to mess with me when Fluttershy isn't looking." Twilight rolled her eyes. Yet, she smiled at his expression of concern, willing to hear him out and potentially humour him. "If I'm to have good reason not to trust him," Discord continued, "I'd like a second pair of eyes seeing it. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I can understand why you'd want me to do something like that. If it turns out your suspicions are unfounded, we'll both see evidence of that and be able to put it to rest, and if they are not, then at least you won't be alone in your knowledge of it. Does that sound about right?"

"Exactly, Twilight, you adorable little egghead, you! Not sure I'd have put it quite so long-winded, but..." Discord trailed off. Twilight deadpanned, butchering his current tangent on the spot. He quickly recovered and continued, "Ahem, so, waddya say? Give an old draconequus some piece of mind?" Discord's demeanour switched from serious to teasing in a heartbeat as he leaned in towards Twilight's face, invading her personal space as he was so often wont to do.

She rolled her eyes once again and lightly pushed him away with a hoof. "Well, like I said, I understand how such a thing would help you rest easy, but I'm not sure it would feel right..."

"Whatever do you mean?" Discord put his claw and paw to his hips and pouted.

"Well, I'd be spying on him and Fluttershy without their knowledge, which just doesn't feel right to me..." Twilight held a hoof to her mouth as she bit her lip in indecision.

Discord blew a raspberry and wafted a claw at her. "Oh, pfft, don't worry; I already talked it over with Fluttershy, and she'd be fine with it."

"Oh, s-she would?" Twilight did not sound convinced. "But Miles..."

"Please, Twilight?" Discord clasped his claw and paw together in prayer and jutted his bottom lip at her in an attempt to look cute. Unfortunately for him, it just made him look even goofier than usual. However, Twilight knew she wouldn't hear the end of it unless she agreed. What harm would it do? Miles would never know, and Discord would be allowed peace of mind.

"Oh, alright, Discord... But just this once, okay?" Twilight raised an eyebrow at Discord as she recycled his lines in a lightly mocking tone. "Just this once."

Discord let it slide. "Oh, thank you, Twilight! You really are a wonderful friend." He picked her up and gave her a big, exaggerated hug before setting her back down. "Alright, well, you'd better be off back to the castle, I suppose. Tell Miles to be at Fluttershy's cottage by three tomorrow!" Twilight blinked, but before she could reply, Discord snapped his talons and she suddenly appeared back in her kitchen.

However, she unfortunately found herself upside down inside her cupboard with her hooves sticking out of the end. It appeared to be back to its natural size.

To Twilight's horror, Miles and Spike were seated at the table, looking down at her.

Miles appeared surprised and yet amused, while Spike merely looked bored. Spike said, "See? I told you she'd be fine. Discord's a good guy now, so weird stuff happening is usually just him playing around. Later." The tiny dragon hopped down from his seat and waddled out of the room.

Miles began to chuckle lightly as Twilight wiggled around; she was grateful that her tail was hanging down between her hind legs and covering her shame, yet felt unbelievably embarrassed to be caught in such a compromised position nonetheless.

"Twilight," Miles stated, flatly. She stopped her squirming for a moment to look up into his emerald eyes, blinking her own in an adorable display of curiosity. He simply pointed to his forehead with a light smirk, causing her eyes to widen as she lit up her horn and teleported upright and outside of the cupboard.

She coughed in embarrassment and seated herself across the table from him, fiddling with her hooves as she looked down into her lap. She struggled to find words, and continued to grow increasingly uncomfortable as silent seconds passed. She couldn't help but notice that the arrangement of the table had changed, with the cutlery and pottery now being perfectly symmetrical.

"So, what happened, Twilight?" She was ripped from her thoughts by Miles' voice.

"Oh, just Discord pulling another one of his pranks on me... Ehehe..."

"Hmm... Well, as long as you're okay," replied Miles. He leaned forwards, looking directly into her eyes. Upon noticing his hand begin to move across the surface of the table, Twilight looked over at the cooker hastily.

"Oh! The dinner must be done by now!" She hopped down from the seat and trotted over to the cooker, lifting the lid of the biggest pan and taking a sniff after a shy glance over her withers.

Miles remained seated, looking slightly irritated as he bore holes through her neck with his stare. This mare was clearly emotionally juvenile, which would make his job both easier and harder simultaneously. He tsked to himself before standing and making his way over to Twilight's side. His gut had told him to choose her and he would not turn his back on it.

"It smells delicious, Twilight. We humans are omnivorous, so this should do just fine." Miles leaned across and sniffed at the steam wafting from the pan.

It took every ounce of his composure to avoid explosively filling the pan further.

"Oh, excellent! Let's get this plated up, then." Twilight dished out some of the soups in a selection for Miles, and the two seated themselves across from each other.

"My goodness, Twilight. I only just arrived and you're already wine and dining me...? Whatever did I do to deserve the honour of a private meal with a princess?" Miles slowly rotated his spoon around in the bowl closest to him, lifting up the alarmingly slimy, steaming broth to his lips and placing the end of the spoon holding the liquid into his mouth. He hummed contentedly, feeling thankful the food did not taste quite as bad as it smelled. "Delicious soup, by the way. Thankyou."

Twilight giggled into a hoof as she poured the now uncorked wine into some glasses and floated one over to Miles. "Well, Spike and Starlight tend to take care of their own meals since I'm not much of a..." She looked off to the side for a moment before catching herself. "Ahem... what I mean is that they've already eaten, so that's why it's just the two of us for today." She began slurping at her own after a moment before realising he had complimented her. "Oh! I-I'm not a good cook, but thankyou..."

The room fell near-silent for the next few minutes, with nothing but the sounds of wooden spoons scraping against pottery and the slurping of soup filling the void. Neither felt uncomfortable, and Miles watched her every move like a viper waiting to strike, yet remained careful not to be caught staring.

Twilight seemed unsure of herself, awkward in her movements, perhaps lacking in pride. Turns out she was the perfect choice, after all.

Miles smiled to himself as he slurped another spoonful of soup. He grabbed the last of his bread and wiped it around the inside of his third small bowl of soup, finishing the food with a smack of his lips. He reached into his pocket in search of a napkin, but must have misplaced it in the fight shortly before he had been taken to this world.

Patting down his pocket to smooth it out, he instead reached across to his right to procure a napkin from a stack resting in a small, hatched trunk lying open at the edge of the table. As he slowly and deliberately brought the napkin to his lips, he looked down into Twilight's face with interest.

Twilight noticed him dabbing at his mouth, and suddenly felt severely self-conscious. Was she making a mess of herself? Was she being improper? Her horn lit up and she roughly yanked a couple of napkins from the top of the stack, causing the one underneath the two she had pulled off to fall out onto the table.

Miles hummed to himself nonchalantly and strummed his fingers across the table. This mare was an open book.

Twilight rubbed the napkins around her lips as she swallowed the last of her soup and then dropped them into her bowl with satisfaction once she was done. She was a princess; she knew dinner etiquette! She noticed Miles pick up the stray napkin from the table and flatten it out before folding it up and placing it into his breast pocket, making sure to line up the edges perfectly.

Twilight was about to comment on this when Miles broke the silence. "That was wonderful, Twilight. Thankyou, once again." He interlocked his fingers and leaned very slightly across the table towards Twilight, silently demanding her attention. "Now, what is the plan for me going to Discord and Fluttershy's little get-together?"

Twilight matched his lean, drawn in by the tone of his voice. "Oh! Yes, they'd be willing to have you at three tomorrow," she replied. "I'm honestly impressed by how quickly you've picked up everypony's names!"

Miles chuckled. "Well, you are all aliens. I've never encountered creatures like any of you before, so I suppose you just stand out well in my memory."

Twilight lowered her face and fiddled with her hooves. "T-True," she responded, lamely.

A few more seconds of silence passed. Eventually, Miles smiled and said, "So, you've spoken with those two already about timings?"

She appeared somewhat panicked for a moment in the context of her earlier conversation with Discord. "Ah, y-yeah... Discord told me to t-tell you the timing when he pranked me earlier, hehe..." She fiddled nervously with her hooves. "Of course, I'll escort you there since you haven't yet been around the town."

Miles raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, you got to speak with him? And you were chatting about little ol' me?"

Twilight began to sweat slightly, not wanting to be caught in a lie, her guilt dragging her towards the floor as gravity's pull suddenly felt about ten times as powerful. "W-Well, yeah, since you just arrived here and all, and this situation is so bizarre; it's hard for discussion of you not to come up, you know?" She grinned nervously at him and silently prayed. "Also, you're definitely not 'little'. A-At least when compared to us ponies."

Miles sat in silence for a few moments, locking his eyes to hers like a laser. He smiled and chuckled once he noticed her begin to squirm. "Of course, Twilight. That makes sense." He tapped her hoof with a finger. "And yes, you ponies are quite small. Certainly smaller than the ponies from my world."

Twilight's eyes widened and began to twinkle. "There are ponies in your world, too?" She let out a squee of excitement. "That's another thing to add to our list of things to talk about!"

She summoned a quill and parchment out of thin air, adding to the bottom of it eagerly. Miles felt his heart sink at the sheer length of the list. He coughed into a fist as she blipped the list away. She jumped slightly at his cough, bringing her nerves back in full force.

Miles said, "Regardless, I look forward to tomorrow; that little butter-yellow pony seems ever so kind."

"W-Well it's unsurprising that you'd think that. She is the element of kindness, after all."

"Oh? What does that mean, exactly? I seem to be missing some context there."

"Ah, yes, I didn't tell you about the Elements of Harmony yet..." She held a hoof to her lip for a moment. "Never mind - that's a story for another day. It's gotten so late so fast! Spike and Starlight are probably in bed already." She stood from her seat and magicked the dishes into the sink, ready for Spike to wash come morning. She also covered the leftovers in the various pans with their respective lids. "W-Well, I should probably be heading off to bed for the night. Feel free to take a look around the castle or simply go up to your room and hit the hay."

Miles looked over at her from his seat as she hastily trotted for the door. He chuckled. "I certainly hope it isn't a bale of hay waiting for me. I thank you once again for your hospitality, princess." His voice was warm. Twilight's hoofsteps slowed as she turned to look at him with a smile.

"Goodnight, Miles," she said.

"Goodnight, Twilight." Miles listened to her trot down the hall and up some nearby stairs.

Once certain she was out of earshot, he mumbled to himself with a gentle smile as he flipped and caught a leftover wooden spoon he had held on to. "Strike..."

Author's Note

02/10/2024 - Touched up with some additions/fixes.