Near and Far

by TheMareWhoSaysNi

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie (EqG), Soarin, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance, Original Character, Equestria Girls, Windy Whistles, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Profanity, Non-consensual, Violence, Sex, Human, Drama
Length: 31388

Because they're close yet different... Because some scars are difficult to heal and some secrets are difficult to bear... Because time goes by and waits for no one...

Soarin Skies expects nothing from life nor from those around him, nor from himself. He has fifteen years-old and is impervious to everything. Yet his family expect a lot for him and he has to succeed if he wants to honor them. This is why he joins the prestigious Crystal Prep High School where he meets Rainbow Dash, a gifted girl who thinks everything's so easy that nothing has a taste anymore. A bond is going to weaver between them and gets stronger and stronger, until the night where Rainbow Dash is going to confess...

(Okay, you have to activate your suspension of disbelief here to imagine Dashie as a gifted in, em, mathematics, but once that's working, I hope you're going to be able to enjoy this story :twilightsmile:)

TO BE PUBLISHED ON SATURDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS UNLESS NOTIFIED OTHERWISE

I still think this story doesn't quite fit in with the site, but as I haven't anything else to publish and it's been going on for too long, I've decided to keep on publishing it after all. Trigger Warning in some of the chapters.

Published 2019-03-23 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-23 19:34:12 UTC

First Words

"There may be seven sins, but only two sins rule the world - lust and greed. If you got one, you can get the other. There are people who pays for sex and people who are getting money from sex. Fair's fair. If you have one or the other, then you got power. If you have them both, then you're the master of universe." Essay for an Application at Canterlot Catholic High School,
by Rainbow Dash (15)

***

"Dear diary,

No, this is a silly sappy way of starting this sh*t...

You notebook, you're the unlucky chosen one where I'm going to lay down my thoughts,

I know I am a dummy, for I have been trapped by your cover. My juvenile part hasn't resist to buy you just because there was this damn Sandra Dee doppelganger on it. The worse is that I hate Sandra Dee. She's cute, positive and full of hopes for the future and that's the opposite of who I am. Yes, it sounds cliché but I guess I am some sort of cliché as well. My whole life, and this only is a joke since I'm not that old, is some sort of cliché. About human misery.

And I have an IQ of about 169 and if I have been stupid, that wouldn't have changed anything. Except that maybe, I wouldn't have even mind. Maybe that would have been for the best. Shucks, now I'm regretting that I'm not a dummy for real!

Oh, I know what you're thinking.... You've got an IQ of 169 and you're starting a diary? Such a young genius can't be writing this nonsense of diaries, this is good for spotty brats dreaming of the football team's quaterback. Well, you know what? Screw you! And what do you know about that, uh? You're a damn dead tree!

So, I don't know how the others do when they're starting a diary but I suppose this is the moment where I have to introduce myself. This huge cliché like straight out of a TV show so that housewives would bawl in front of their set...

Rainbow Dash (that's me) was born in the ghettos of society. My real mother is dead. My father is dead too. I now live with his second wife, the most normal of all lives. On the surface. Such a beautiful surface, indeed!

Tomorrow, I'll start High School. Not that horrible Catholic thingy she wanted me to go to, but she's been able to make me join this awful well named Crystal Prep. Great, it'll give me things to say and I wouldn't have bought this silly diary that I'm talking to as if it were a real person for no purpose. I'm Rainbow Dash, IQ 169 and I hate myself each time I turn into the fifteen years-old teenager that I am. Thankfully, it's rare.

One last thing I have to tell you in case you're expecting smashing teen drama... I'm already dead inside so life is meaningless for me. And it would take a miracle for me to come alive again."

Is This the Beginning or the End?

"Here is your tea... I'm sorry, did I make you wait for too long?"

Pinkie Pie felt her palms were damp. It wasn't the first time she was the new girl in a school, far from it, and though she used to like it a lot, now it just terrified her. The first days... Being a curiosity to everyone... To make new acquaintances... Back when she was a child, all smiles and songs, she always thought everyone would be willing to meet her and be her friends but the truth and expectations happened to be very deceiving. Ever since, she dreaded to be where she was right now.

In front of her stood her homeroom teacher who also happened to be the Principal of Canterlot High School, smiling at her warmly. Freshly aged fourty, she looked like a woman of her time, though she surely was a bit in advance, since she was actually working instead of being a housewife. Like her own mother, for example, who would never consider working at all. Her eyes were purple and ate a great part of her face, her pouted lips painted in a soft pink and her wavy hair, dressed in a ponytail, was falling between her shoulder blades. Her nails were carefully manicured and wore a grey suit tight around the waist thanks to a thin leather belt that looked like straight out of a fashion magazine. An honest smile would never desert her elegant features. She sounded friendly and soft.

Feeling a bit safer now, Pinkie Pie shook her head no, taking her cup of tea with both hands.

"Fine!" The Principal answered, her smile never leaving her face. "So... I guess it's certainly not very easy to be in your situation, right?"

"Well, I guess... But I'm used to it, now."

"I'm sure you're going to like CHS, Pinkamena. Don't worry, the other students know about you coming and they're excited to meet you."

Pinkie Pie slightly nodded, while sipping on her tea. To be honest, she rarely had received warm greetings in the various schools she had been. Her overflowing energy wasn't really accepted. Barely tolerated. It felt as if the others could sense what was different about her, though in fact, nothing much was different about her. Yes, she knew that strange language which didn't need a voice to be understood but she could hear the world clearly. Her family wasn't herself.

A bell rang and Principal Celestia asked Pinkie Pie to follow her. Now was the time.

Stress suddenly rushed back to her heart. It was the most difficult part, these very first minutes. Now she no longer had dreams or illusions, she knew the chances were greater for people to be disappointed about the new girl. She was never cool enough, always too annoying, from the very beginning. No matter what she did. But she tried to reassure herself by saying maybe, this time, things would be different. And, the sooner she would be over with this ordeal, the quicker she would feel relief.

While following her teacher, she looked up and observed the walls. It was pretty, and the main colors seemed to be blue and gold, with the emblem of CHS, the horse, being visible by small touches whenever you looked at. Pinkie Pie breathed deeply. Indeed, maybe this time would be different and she would feel good here, for the first time in years.

Another bell rang. Celestia stopped in front of a room and signaled her she could go first. Her heart thumping, Pinkie Pie stepped forward. Her teacher followed her immediately and passed her by to get on the dais where her desk was. Instantly, all the girls got up and greeted her with a happy welcome. Pinkie Pie stepped forward again.

"Okay, everybody, as you already know, today we welcome a new student. She comes from a school in Rock Farm and her name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. Please, be kind with her."

"Rock Farm?" a very pretty girl sitting at the first rank whispered in the ears of the girl nearby. "Isn't that in the middle of nowhere?"

Both girls chuckled. Pinkie Pie, though, hadn't heard their little comment. She slowly came closer and tried to speak loud but not to sound too high-pitched. This was something difficult. She couldn't change the sound of her voice. One of the major problem she always encountered was that she never was sure of the line between too much and not enough. Contextual circumstances, in all likelihood.

"I'm Pinkamena Pie but my friends call me Pinkie Pie!"

She slightly leaned over. When she looked up again, some sort of rainbow flash passed by her eyes. It didn't take her much time to spot where that illusion came from. It wasn't an illusion at all, actually. Sitting at the back of the room, the girl was sleeping, completely slouched on her table and didn't seem to pay the least attention to what was going on around her. She couldn't see her face but her hair was like a curtain made of a radiant rainbow.

"Well, Pinkamena... There's a free seat next to Rainbow Dash. You can sit there."

Pinkie Pie didn't have to think through. She knew where that free spot was going to be. From the moment she heard the name, she knew. The girl with the rainbow hair, sleeping.

She went between the ranks of tables and sat at the exact spot where she had been indicated to. The lesson had already started without her and she knew she had to be quick to get to the matter, especially as school never really been her forte. This, though, wasn't a reason not to act well-mannered. With a smile, she tried to call in her neighbor.

"Rainbow Dash, that would be great if you could help Pinkamena," the teacher asked, interrupting what she had just started to say.

The girl didn't move, acting as if she hadn't heard anything. The pretty girl of the first rank had a sarcastic smile, when she turned around and witnessed the scene. Why would this show off of Rainbow Dash make an effort for a silly new girl from Rock Farm?

Principal Celestia, from her dais, didn't add anything. For a second, she lost her imperishable smile but quickly gained it back. There was no point in trying to force things. Not with that student, and no matter how hard she tried.

"Fine! Let's get back to work, then!"

She turned to the blackboard with enthusiasm.

They were studying Homer's The Odyssey. Her face hidden behind her arms, Rainbow Dash smiled. It always reminded her of a certain conversation she had, a very long time ago, long like a hundred years old lifetime, about being "eternal". Had he also studied it, since then? And if yes, had he thought about her? Because she never ceased to think about him. Where was he now? What was he doing? With who?

"Em, sorry... I'm a little lost and..."

The annoying voice of the new girl dragged her out of her train of thoughts. Why did Principal Celestia always try to stick new persons to her back, always wanted her to fit into that place she didn't want to belong to? It was such a waste of time, like those sessions at the psychiatrist's. The only difference might be that the teacher's secret intentions certainly wasn't to make her accept a shock therapy, like that could be of any use.

"... If you could help me a little..."

Rainbow Dash sighed loudly and finally looked up. As she did, she could feel her messy hair erecting on her head because of the static electricity. The best she could, she tried to convey in her eyes how much she wasn't interested by the person who was in front of her.

Seeing her face for the very first time, Pinkie Pie opened her eyes wide of admiration. Her skin was so pale, so thin. It surely wasn't the most beautiful girl of the room but she definitely had someone magnetic, a laid-back attitude that made her look so cool. Pinkie Pie was marveled by how long her hair was, of soft it looked and how shiny it was, of her magenta eyes - such a rare color too - and how piercing through her they seemed to be. Just because she thought she was faboulously fascinating, Rainbow Dash immediately got Pinkie Pie's liking.

The feeling was far from being shared. Rainbow Dash thought Pinkie Pie was common, too loud, and her voice unbearable. It was dangerous to rely too much on the appearances and yet, a person could only had one chance of making a good first impression. She could as well be extremely smart, behind her look of ingenuity, it wouldn't change a thing. No more than they ever did before, people were nothing interesting to her.

"What d'you want?"

"Well, I've new, as you know and as I said, I'm a bit lost. Could you explain what it is all about, please?"

"It's a book. There's nothing to understand and nothing to explain. Just read it already."

"But I..."

"Your problems aren't my problems. Just deal with it by yourself!"

Rainbow Dash then looked away, her eyes now staring at the window.

Of course, Pinkie Pie was disappointed. She had thought that maybe, only maybe, if it was to help her, since Principal Celestia asked the student to be kind with her, the girl would agree to talk to her and that she could eventually get to know more about her. But in all likelihood, this wasn't going to happen. She wouldn't try to speak to her again, at least for this first hour of class, and she went back trying to understand the lesson, though she had no notes to help her and of course, she had forgotten to bring the book with her. She hadn't even read it, thinking that wouldn't be compulsory for her very first day.

Behind the window, evanescent clouds were floating in the sky. How long would high school last? Rainbow Dash finally understood why human beings always dreamed of being able to have a control over time.

If that thing ever became possible, then she would like to be able to speed it up, and not just because she liked when things were fast. Because she wanted to know whether he remembered his promise... And what if he didn't? Rainbow Dash suppressed a chill. If that was the case, then going back in time would be a good thing. With a magical wand, she would erase the memories of these three years. Where would she choose to stop? His departure on the first summer, maybe...

Unfortunately, time wasn't to be controlled anytime soon. If he had forgotten about the promise, she would never be able to go back there. Everything would be lost, forever and for good. What to do, then? Trains were never forgiving. When they crashed you, here you went.

Life seemed to be ever so tasteless. The only moments that had been important to her were now far behind her back. There was no point in regretting. But regretting was all that was left to her. So she clung at regrets, at memories in order to keep her head out of the water. She had no other choice. If he had forgotten about his promise, then she could let herself go and drown in the depth of the ocean but not before.

The bell announcing the end of this lesson rang. All the girls of her class gathered in a loud noise of chairs and tables. Each had a sandwich carefully prepared by their mothers, along with a fruit, most of the time an apple, and they liked to be together during lunch, laughing stupidly and gossiping about movies stars and rockers.

Pinkie Pie was feeling alone. At her table, she shyly took out her own sandwich, also prepared by her mother. Tomato sauce and tuna, her favorite. She was the new girl and yet, no one paid any attention to her. She felt invisible, like a puff of thin air so transparent nobody noticed its very existence. She had wished she wouldn't attract too much curiosity. Here, she was granted, since she had nothing at all. She wasn't feeling better for all that.

Beside her, Rainbow Dash took her own packed lunch out of a brown kraft bag. Nothing venture, nothing gain was the saying. It would be one of the boldest move she had done since the literature lesson started but she had to try anyway. Even though she didn't know why she was acting so much like a school kamikaze today.

Pinkie Pie got closer to her with her chair.

"Can I eat lunch with you? I don't know anyone and..."

Without a word, her box under her arms, Rainbow Dash got up and put her backpack on her shoulders. She left the room and didn't even take one little glimpse at Pinkie Pie who, disappointed once again, looked down. With a little push of her feet, she slipped her chair back where it was before and began to nibble on her food like a punished child.

Suddenly, a girl almost materialized in front of her. The girl of the first rank. A classic beauty, her purple and blue hair was styled with a scarf around her head and shimmered under the sun like a piece of silk material. According to everyone's opinions, she had the face of a black angel. And she took that as a compliment.

"You'd better not get too close to that girl," she said, sitting at Pinkie Pie's table.

Two girls were behind her, always behind her. They were what she called her friends but what everyone else in CHS called the most faithful and silly foils there ever was in Equestria.

"Why?"

"Because she's not respectable. Oh, but how stupid I am, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Starlight Glimmer. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

"Do you want us to be friends?" Starlight Glimmer asked with her loveliest smile.

In normal circumstances, Pinkie Pie would have beware. But the truth was that she was too eager to have someone on her side, effortlessly, even though she had sounded like her usual high-pitched nuisance when she introduced herself. Reassured, she accepted the proposition, without further thinking, and she and Starlight Glimmer as well as her foils, started to have a conversation about the last time they went to the movies. Only in the course of their conversation, Pinkie looked through the window. She had a glimpse at Rainbow Dash who was eating her lunch with a thoughtful look. She seemed so... melancholic.

"Don't worry about her," Starlight Glimmer said, looking in the same direction. "Do you know why she's always sleeping in class? Miss is a gifted person. And so, she doesn't give a damn about the lessons. She thinks she's so superior to every of us, just because she was at Crystal Prep before and she treats everyone here with contempt."

"But why isn't she in the Guiding Class, then?"

"Miss said no. Supposedly it was because she wanted no privileged treatment. This poser only wants to show off, this is the truth."

Pinkie Pie took a new look at the girl on the bench. Her instinct told her Starlight Glimmer was wrong but she didn't want to contradict her new friend, it was too soon for that and she was too scared of being rejected or worse, mocked. She didn't really know the rules of this school, after all. If there was something she knew of experience it was that the more schools seemed to be different, the more similar they actually were.

"Do you know what they say about her? She always wears long sleeves because she cuts herself every night. The teachers know about it and they say nothing. If that's true, it gives me shivers! They also said she tried to kill herself because of a boy."

The sound of Starlight Glimmer's voice did nothing to hide her disgust and a hint of pride. It was so... mean. Pinkie Pie had never liked mean persons. And yet, she knew she would probably still be friends with her. Simply because what scared her more than malice was loneliess. Her cowardice was such a disgrace!

However, deep down, she also knew that Rainbow Dash intrigued her very much and secretly, she wanted to know.

***

Cadance breathed deeply. Summer holidays were over and she had to go back there. Though she was a true believer, she doubted she would ever be able to do something out of her students. They cared about nothing, wanted nothing and had no desire to study anything, except maybe feminine anatomy and even that, she wouldn't have bet.

Out of all the classes of Mountview High School for Boys, she had been given the worse one. And to say she had been valedictorian of her university... If she had chosen Mountview it was in full consciousness, precisely because she had the desire to make things change for the better. Just like in that movie, The Blackboard Jungle. But she had to state the obvious - it wasn't easy to make things change when there was no will for it. And movies were just that. Movies. Fiction. Nothing to do with reality.

She pushed the door of her room. From now on she was Cadance, hometeacher of the third class of Senior grade, the worst one, in Mountview High School for Boys.

"Hello, everyone!"

She had spoken with a cheerful voice, but like usually, no one answered her enthusiastic greetings. Shoulders already down, she dragged her feet to her desk and watched the mess that was in front of her. Her students, with their lame duck attitude, many of who displayed a copy of James Dean's look in Rebel Without a Cause, were busy making a racket. Some were reading comic books, others were playing cards or worse, with their lighters, but absolutely none of them seemed to be ready to study. In the back, the bunch of bosom buddies was suffering of the lack of a member.

"Lesson's about to start, could you please put the tables back where they were?"

Castigating and whistling as they were, they all obeyed and arranged the desks back where they belonged. Deep down, they weren't so bad, she thought while she looked at them granting her request, despite it all. They just needed a bit of discipline. And brand new haircuts, maybe.

She might well note this, still her class' credits had her very much desperate. Would she be ever be able to make them learn something? Only one little thing, that was all she was asking for, not the moon and stars. She regarded it as not that demanding.

Somehow, she started to write a vocabulary exercise on the blackboard. Cadance was a literature and English teacher. As far as she could remember, she had always liked learning new languages and she had given it a lot of her spare time, to the extent that now, being less than thirty, she already could speak four. Her father had hoped she would not waste her time teaching, but would try something more ambitious, like research or journalism. His deception had been huge when he learned that not only was she a teacher but in such a school with it. In such a class... If that was all for this result, he would have prefered her to be a silly little girl planning on finding a good husband instead.

Suddenly, in the back of the room, at the door where her students penetrated it, there was a sound. The three boys that sat there turned around and got up in order to welcome the missing member.

The bunch was composed as followed: Thunderlane, the one with the bleached white hair, a good-for-nothing rascal who had nothing but girls on his mind and spent most of his time reading Playboy; Flash Sentry, a kind and intelligent boy, very successful with girls but who didn't really care and was going to school in order to satisfy his mother's wish - a widow in debts who was raising her three sons on her own and dreamed about her older boy getting a diploma - but who was already thinking about leaving school to work; then came Silver Zoom, a former gang member, always ready for a fight. And there was him...

He always went and came in class, as he saw it fit. He probably was the one she had the biggest issues with. Not that he was an agitator or shown signs of violent disobedience. This Cadance was sure she would have dealt with more easily. Though taciturn and secret, he never listened and never focused on a complete lesson. Plus, he had a great influence on both Thunderlane and Silver Zoom, who weren't perfect examples of owning agency.

With his usual tired and nonchalant way of walking, he sat behind his desk at the back of the room.

"You're late again, Soarin. And why weren't you at the meeting of the new semester?"

Mountview called it a ceremony. In reality, it was a global call to order before things would even get started, just to make sure the rules were clear. No need to say, much of the students didn't care at all and the meeting never stopped them from degrading the rooms or the supplies nor did it from causing fights or from skipping classes.

Soarin looked at her with arrogance, and shrugged. His only answer was to put his head against his table and close his eyes to sleep.

Oh, he could act disdainful as much as he liked, Cadance could see right through his little games. This wasn't his character. And yet, she didn't intervene, as always. What could she do about it? Secretly, she dreamed of being able to tame her students, and especially this one, but she clearly was lacking authority in that matter. For sure, it was a responsibility that was too heavy for her frail shoulders.

Soarin wasn't tired. Despite his work that never ended until late at night, he wasn't tired. Acting as if he were asleep was just a manner to occupy his time. Three years. It was now three years since she was gone. More often than not, he felt as if he already had lived a hundred years without her. Yet each time he could only state the truth, it had been only three years. Life was still very young. But since this was the way things were, then that's hard luck.

"Hey, Soarin!"

He looked up. Thunderlane had called on him, shaking his shoulders with as much grace as he could possess.

"I've been able to get us a date with four girls from CCHS. Will you be there?"

"No thanks."

And back he went to his so-called sleep. Not paying the least attention to the lesson, his three friends were talking together, reproaching him his lack of interest for girls, dating and sex. This, at least, hadn't changed much.

In the past, he never been the type who, once they discovered the other sex was attractive, spent all their time trying to hit on girls. Just like he didn't mind much about all the rest, he didn't mind much about it. Of course, he often thought some girls to be pretty but it never went farther than an aesthetical appreciation. Until she hapened to be on his way...

Soarin closed his eyes. He couldn't help it, he had to think about it. Her absence was such a huge void of emptiness and this void turned to be particularly unbearable once he started to think about the circumstances of it all. A voice kept on resounding in his mind.

« You're suffering, aren't you, Soarin? Serves you right! You're the only one to blame. Today, she's no longer here. No longer breathing. All this for what? All this because you wanted to play it smart. You haven't thought much about the consequences, have you? You shouldn't have done that. You should have had more drive and not go that far. But instead of that, you tried to play superhero. And now, you got nothing. Nothing at all. »

Abruptly, he looked up and jumped out of his chair. Cadance, standing near the backboard with a chalk in her hands, stopped in the middle of both her exercice and sentence, and turned around. His three friends looked at him with surprise as well.

"What's wrong now?"

He took his bag on the floor and dashed towards the door. He had to find something to do, anything, but he had to keep his mind busy. So he would stop thinking about it. What was the point? He would never stop feeling guilty.

Cadance hailed him, even going as far as leaving her blackboard and try to hold him back but her actions came too late. He was already gone and she couldn't leave her class only to get him, that was far too risky. They could as well decide that class was over for the hour, that had barely begun.

He had to hide something that was big to be in such a state of mind. But there were very little chances for him to ever confide in her. She was part of the enemy. The adult world.

Author's Note

Hope that first chaper won't make you flee :twilightblush:

Flip a Coin!

When Soarin came home, the sky was pitch black and threads of gold twinkled between the clouds. This work ended late but at least it wasn't tiring and he could gain a lot of money. It was less painful than working at a drugstore or worse, a lumb factory, especially for such a high pay. His boss was lying about his age. There was no other way, it wasn't very respectable for a student, even from a miserable school like Mountview.

He took off his suit and dressed in his pajamas, which consisted of a tee-shirt and comfortable pants for sports. His Chinese takeway in front of him, Soarin settled the table. Book, pencils, papers. Yes, when at school, he didn't do anything and made no effort to be good or even bad. But once at home, he spent most of his time like this, drowning into reviewings. It reminded him of a past, lost forever. A past where she was by his side. And though she wasn't anymore, he was doing it all for her. Even through death, he would never forget and in order to honor her memory, he had this goal in mind, a goal he would never lose track of.

***

Rays of the sun were very hot and whenever you looked at the sky, you were dazzled by an infinity of blue, with only rare puffs of white smoke to block the view. Fall would take his time, this year. Yet, Rainbow Dash kept on eating outside rather than inside her classroom. She was better off alone than obliged to put up with certain presences, especially as she had to put up with them all during classes.

Starlight Glimmer had been successful in hoodwinking this gullible and naive new girl. Oh, she looked nice and innocent all right but surely deep down, this Pinkie Pie was made of the same wood. She had no doubt about it. Dogs were made to associate with dogs and bitches with bitches.

Said the girl whose only friends had for long been an American countrygirl and a (falsly) mute philosopher.

She put her lunchbox on her laps, searched through her bag and unfolded Sunset Shimmer's latest letter. It had been a while now since she had no news from her, probably because she was too busy going at the library during summer holidays. Last night, when back from school, Rainbow Dash and Windy Whistles had a fight about it, since the later had opened her mail. She still didn't trust her, after all this time.

What did she expect? They already had taken everything she held dear away from her. They couldn't take that away, the only thing that gave her true happiness.

Swallowing a mouthful of her colesaw sandwich, Rainbow Dash started to read.

« Dear Rainbow Dash,

Nothing changes here, at Crystal Prep. It's been two years and everything's the same. The same persons are doing the same things, tirelessly. I'm still questioning about the meaning of my existence.

Could we say that I have changed? I'm not sure... Changing means that at first, you know who you are at least a little, right? But I never really knew who I was and this is why I think I haven't changed. I've only become me.

With Twilight, we're getting ready for Canterlot University. You're right, going to Queen Novo's Royal College is a very common wish. And a very conceited one as well. We're now as inseperable as Agapornis (yes, I know, you hate Latin names). But no one talks much about us. At first, maybe, because they weren't expecting us to be friends some day but now they really don't care anymore. We're part of the walls, part of their daily sets.

I still remember back when Soarin Skies and Rainbow Dash were the big thing. Sorry if I hurt you when I mention that. The thing is that you were one hell of an item! Nothing really seemed to matter much to you both. Trust me, from the outside, it was quite something. »

Rainbow Dash smiled instinctively. Her thoughts got lost. This was a good period, for as long as it had lasted. She understood what Sunset Shimmer meant. She too felt that time was perfect weather, all sunny sky and no clouds. Though it obviously was not that good. For sure. Her smile disappeared. All this was over now, and far behind her, but it always was painful to think about.

« I can confess now, I was jealous for a while. Do you remmber the first day we met? I was mad at you, I thought it was so unfair. Sorry for that. I was nothing but a silly brat.

I regret I had opened my eyes too late. Maybe I could have helped you and prevented it all from happening. If only I had opened my eyes earlier...

Sorry (again) if I hurt you when I'm telling you about that.

So, how are things going in CHS? Are you finally feeling like you belong here? I guess it probably isn't easy everyday but don't let go your endeavors. Don't lose hope, I'm sure Soarin will remember his promise. No one knows where he is. I've tried to call his parents' house, once but the maid yelled at me. I thought his little sister would study here but they eventually sent her to Cloudsdale. That's quite far away.

Please, never lose hope ♥

See you soon,
Sunset Shimmer »

Rainbow Dash folded the letter again. A fresh breeze came to caress her cheeks and lifted her hair. It felt good and it felt unexpected. Never lose hope... It sounded easy but in reality, it had always been parts of her problems. She never learned what hope meant until the day she met him and it had started to bloom inside her chest. Ever since, it seemed she had forgotten what it was like, hoping. Many times, she had been on the verge of giving up everything and let go.

"Hi. Can I eat lunch with you?"

All smiling, her brown paper kraft bag in her hands, Pinkie Pie was leaning over Rainbow Dash. Not waiting for her answer, she sat on the bench by her side, opened her sack and started to eat her sandwich with enthusiasm.

The eggs in it smelled like they had been roasted and there were drops of mayonese threatening to fall on her uniform skirt, thus transgressing the virginity of its while material. And you really had to be queen of fools to eat a poor little sandwich with such a silly smile!

"What the hell do you want?"

"Eating with you. And chatting. What if we get to know each other?"

"Please, don't make me laugh. Haven't we already have this conversation? Go and talk lipstick and Elvis Presley with Starlight Glimmer and her bunch of goats instead. Isn't that your type?"

"I... Well... You're on your own all the time so I only wanted to stay with you. And I heard you were a Freshman in another school, like me. We have this in common."

"Sure," Rainbow Dash said, getting off the bench. "That's the only common feature we'll ever find."

And without further ado, she left her. Embarrassed, Pinkie Pie lost a bit of her smile and looked down, saddly nibbling at her sandwich now, like an orphan abandonned by the last family she had.

***

She had answered! Rainbow Dash had answered! Sunset Shimmer couldn't believe it. It was stupid, since they already had exchanged many letters but each time, she was stunned, unable to accept the truth. They were friends. Real friends. And each time she received a letter with that cloud-shaped seal on, it always warmed her heart. With Twilight, Rainbow Dash was the only person she could have trusted with her own life. They were the persons who she was feeling free to be herself with. Not just a marionette of moral and expectations of others. The true Sunset Shimmer.

Unable to wait any longer, she unsealed the envelop and started to read while walking.

« Dear Sunset Shimmer,
I won't ask you how you are doing, it seems like you're doing excellent. So, Crystal Prep hasn't changed. I'm not even surprised. Most of the students there think they are the cream of the cream of the nation and so they have nothing to worry about. They're wrong. The real shame of that country are all those narrow-minded persons, stupidly relying on materialistic ambitions sold by television and magazines. Here, all the girls want to get married, so I'm not sure us Wondercolt are in the right position for a lecture in progressivism.

Canterlot University is a very good school - as if I would say the opposite. But you never said you wanted to go there before. I hope we'll see each other again there, then. It's a good thing to have a goal but to have a dream, something to hang on to, it's better. Don't let it go because you sure deserve to win.

Now it's my turn to confess. My opinion about you haven't always been the opinion that I would gladly share now. In my eyes, your were the most superficial person I knew. The kind who could only see what she wanted to see, what she's told to see. But you're not like that. You were only trying to figure out who you really were. You just didn't know you did.

There's a new girl in my class. She always sticks to me and it irritates me. I know she's the kind to be scared to be alone and who would rather follow the flock than to be under such a pressure. I don't know what I should think of her. Maybe I should make an effort. The problem is that I have always been bad at it. In fact, I even hate efforts! It's so rare such a thing is within my reach that when it finally happens, laziness is taking over me.

I'm not made for friendship. But after all, I didn't think that I was made for love. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Thank you for worrying about me, thank you for your support, it really helps. You're the only voice I listen out of mine. You will surely not believe a word of it yet it is the truth.

I will never forget that you're the only one who really empathized with us. The only one who saw the pain through our violence. Any being is able to be a hero and you're the evidence. You're beautiful with your flaws and admirable for your soul.

No mind really is slow. Sometimes, it only takes a bit of practice (it makes perfect, did you know that?). Practice your mind and make it perfect. Yours is already able to learn from its mistake and not many persons can do this.

Please, take good care of you.

Rainbow Dash »

Sunset Shimmer lowered her paper. She was in her classroom now. At the window, the football players were drinking soda cans. The Elvis Fan Club was going into raptures in front of pictures of their idol. The same scenery, in endless representation, all day all year long. Nostalgia took over her. Two beating hearts were missing in the background.

***

What did happen? Yesterday, after lunch break, when she went back to class, Starlight Glimmer and the girls had avoided her. She had spent quite some time trying to speak with them but the bunch had acted as if no one were talking to them. She tried to find a reason why they would be mad at her but she couldn't. Nothing much had changed. And yet... Something was wrong, obviously. People couldn't hold a grudge against other people for no reason whatsoever.

This morning, a white fear was weighing on Pinkie Pie's stomach. What if they would still ignore her? She really hoped her situation to be temporary. She knew she would never have the strength to be on her own, in the general indifference. It was a weakness, she was aware of that but she couldn't help herself. Being alone was the worst possible thing. It meant no one was emotionally attached to you.

She forced a smile and came across the door as if everything was perfect.

"Hello, everyone!"

Her greetings found no echo. Sitting at their usual spot, Starlight Glimmer and friends kept on ignoring her, with a little air that seemed to indicate they enjoyed their power on her fate. Pinkie Pie's smile disappeared and shoulders down, she dragged her feet until her own desk.

Unnoticed, Starlight Glimmer's eyes had followed her path through the room. Served her right, it was a wrong to the wrath of her clan.

Rainbow Dash was already sitting at her table, the one next to Pinkie Pie. She was reading a book "Froth of the Daydream", by Boris Vian, in French. She couldn't help a gasp of admiration.

"That's awesome! You can read French!"

Rainbow Dash looked at her out of the corner of her eye. In normal circumstances, she would have replied that she already knew she was awesome but something about that girl kept on unsettle her and she didn't know what her reactions were going to be. Also she only shrugged and kept on reading.

Suddenly jaded, Pinkie Pie sighed silently and took her books out from under her desk. At the first look of it, she opened horrified wide eyes. All of them were covered with graffitis of all kind (plus some very obscene drawings), with black and red ink.

Pinkie Pie leaped on her feet.

"Who did that?"

At this exact moment, Starlight Glimmer and her bunch of friends burst out laughing. Their indifference to the situation looked very suspicious and though everyone seemed to be discreetly focusing on the curly pink-haired girl, none of them dared showing a real concern about the situation.

Rainbow Dash looked up, disturbed by her neighbor sudden jump. Her eyes quickly fell on Pinkie Pie's books... Such a big surprise. This truly had Starlight Glimmer written all over it.

Hearing the bunch laughing out loud again, Pinkie Pie took back her books and stepped towards the three girls.

"Is that you, Starlight Glimmer? Why?"

"Why? Don't accuse me without evidence, you dump!"

She pushed Pinkie Pie back and the young girl came to hit the table behind her. Her ruined books fell in a messy heap on the floor. But not a single student came to her rescue. Why didn't they try to stop what was going on? She could see them all, heads buried inside their shoulders, trying to act as if they weren't the witnesses of a bullying though she knew, yes, she knew they were aware but they just didn't care. In reality, they were afraid that if they intervened, one day they would also become a victim of Starlight Glimmer's mockings and they all chose not to meddle with that, afraid there would be a revenge.

Of course, this, Pinkie Pie didn't know.

She leaned over in order to collect her books when a foot crushed against her fingers. Pinkie Pie repressed a grimace of pain and looked up. Of course this was Starlight Glimmer's work of art. Who else could that be since everyone else was trying hard not to fall under her radar?

"Can't you go any faster? Your garbage is rottening the floor."

And she pressed her foot a little harder against her fingers. Numb of pain, Pinkie Pie gathered them as fast as her situation allowed her to and hurried to sit back at her desk. Her cheeks were crimson from shame and her stomach felt so heavy she thought she would vomit her breakfast and faint.

For the first time, she fully realized. She was in hell now and there was no turning back.

Unnoticed to the young girl, Rainbow Dash took a glimpse at her. Deep down, she felt pity for this poor innocent soul. Maybe she had been a little too harsh with her.

A few minutes later, the lesson began. From her chair, Pinkie Pie was feeling bad, afraid to be questioned by the teacher and especially to be asked to read her textbook out loud. On all sides, it was covered with drawnings, lines, curls and stains and she couldn't see anything of what was written, which made it very difficult for her to be focused on the lesson. And to say she already had many problems with the program from CHS, which had a level of difficulty much higher than that of her former school. Here she was, frowning, rubbing her damp hands together between her knees, hidden under the table. A lump was wringing her stomach.

And, as if by magic, a school textbook in perfect state suddenly landed on her table, on top of the raped one. Pinkie Pie turned to the desk next to her. Someone was reaching out a hand to her, finally.

"I don't need that," Rainbow Dash said with an indifferent voice.

She took back the soiled book and buried it inside her own bag. She was a nice person, in reality... Pinkie Pie had always known. From the first day of school, when her multicolor hair caught her eyes, and despite how cold-shouldered she was acting with everyone, she knew. There was more to see than the sheer surface about this girl. She felt more grateful than ever.

"But... what about you? Aren't your parents going to scold you?"

"Scold"? What was that way of speaking? She sounded like a kindergarten little girl! Rainbow Dash couldn't help a sarcastic laugh.

"Are you naive or something? Everyone knows I have no parents anymore. Windy's going to yell at me and of course, I won't care at all. Then, she'll buy a brand new book and two seconds later, everything's going to be forgotten."

Rainbow Dash suddenly went meditative. She never really managed to consider Windy Whistles as her mother. Once, there had been a short while when she had thought that, maybe, she could have this kind of feelings for her, one day. But after the incident at Crystal Prep, she understood this would never be possible.

No parents? Pinkie Pie was feeling sorry for her, and even more intrigued. She really wanted to know more about her and about her past. Indeed, she was naive, unable as she was to envision that an extreme pain could have fashioned this personality that she thought was so "cool".

Also, she felt happy though there was no real reason to rejoice. Yes, she had been bullied and humiliated but she wasn't alone anymore. Rainbow Dash had helped her and even talked to her more or less friendly - or at least as friendly as she was able to be. Maybe she would eventually be her friend, after all. That was her deepest hope.

Simply Not

Once again, Pinkie Pie had got a little bit carried away. When the lesson was over, Rainbow Dash sneaked away without a word. She hadn't come back during the next hour. She noticed that it wasn't the first time she disappeared for a class and the teachers never said anything about her behavior. Where was she going?

One day, at lunch break, she was summoned to Principal Celestia's office. The teacher never told her why and she was a little scared of what the interview would be about.

With trembling hands, she knocked two times on the door. When she stepped inside, she saw her Principal leaned over a pile of papers, grading them with an air of concentration that made her frown and let appear very small lines between her eyebrows.

Celestia looked up, took off her glasses and asked Pinkie Pie to close the door behind her and sit.

"You wanted to see me..."

"Yes. I don't have much time but... I wanted you to ask me how well things are going lately in class. Sometimes, I feel you haven't really acclimatized to CHS."

So, the teachers started to notice. Yet Pinkie Pie thought she had done her best for no one to read through her and see her distress. Naturally, she didn't dare confessing that Starlight Glimmer had asked the whole class to ignore her and that she liked to wreck her belongings. After her textbooks, she crushed her sandwiches many times and even torn up the skirt of her uniform. Shame was holding her hostage.

"Oh no, everything's good, I swear. I'm feeling fine at CHS."

"Well, that's a relief, I really hoped I was imagining things. Please don't hesitate to tell me if there's the slightest problem, now can you?"

"Yes. Thank you," she said, leaning over.

And she left the room, as fast and as far as her legs could bring her. Celestia looked at her vanishing away, doubts strangling her throat. It seemed to her that the young girl first befriended with Starlight Glimmer but it had been some time now that she was all alone all the time. She feared Pinkie Pie to be the victim of violent bullying but as long as she didn't want to talk about it, there unfortunately was nothing much she could do.

It was a complicate realization, when you got aware that your work wasn't able to do what it was supposed to do in the first place. She was supposed to be a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on and she felt as if she were only a thoughtful presence, luring in the back, but of no other use than sheer ornament.

She resumed her papers grading. Under her eyes, lain the name of Rainbow Dash. Celestia wished she could help this student as well. But how? What was hiding behind this name implying speed, boldness and a joyful quality? Even her friend, Doctor Horse, who happened to be the young woman's psychiatrist, used to desperate cases, wasn't able to get her to speak at all and it had been two years now since they first started those sessions. She knew yet that neither was it laziness nor total apathy which was guiding her behavior.

Grade A+, comment excellent. A gifted girl... How could she, Celestia, get through the heart of such a girl? She started to have doubts about her own abilities. She was the Principal but not the teacher of the Guiding Class and she probably wasn't dependable enough to teach anything to such a student.

But it was life that had decided that she would be in her class. There had to be a reason for this all.

Someone knocked on the door, interrupting her train of thoughts. Dr. Horse (Horse Heart by his full name) was standing on her threshold.

"It's lunch break and you don't even take one minute to eat a little something? Come on, you'll finish that later. You're Principal of this school, after all. I'm abducting you."

She smiled at him and put down her pencil. He was right. After all, she could do whatever she wanted to do. She and her sister built this place and they worked hard enough to give it its excellent reputation. Now she could finally stop and breath out a little.

And yet, no one here knew what was the exact nature of her relationship with Dr. Horse. PTA would never tolerate such a thing in a school as moral as CHS, Canterlot's high school for educated young girls. Even for adults, honor was a burden too heavy to carry, sometimes.

***

The weather was still merciful on these first days of fall. In order to flee the indifference of the students from her class and Starlight Glimmer's bullying, Pinkie Pie decided she would go and eat her sandwich outside. There was plenty of room here, she had the possibilty to breath in some fresh air and to feel peaceful, even if for a short while, in connection with a relative imitation of nature. She sat under the shade of a huge sequoia, near the sports field.

Girls from another class were competing in a friendly game of soccer, a European sport that was new to women but that some of them really seemed to appreciate. But it wasn't the game which had Pinkie Pie's attention. These girls were apparently getting along very well. Often, when she passed by their classroom, she envied the harmony which came out of their presence. In her own class, nobody meddled. In theirs, all the girls were talking with each other. There was no one set apart, there was no one unhappy in the background. She regretted they had not decided to send her in this class instead.

Behind the girls playing soccer, on an isolated bench, she noticed that Rainbow Dash sat there to eat, on her own, as always. Wasn't loneliness a burden for her too, sometimes? While Pinkie Pie could barely accept hers, this girl seemed to be proudly carrying her loneliness over her shoulders, not as a weight but as a protective armor, an unbreakable shield.

Skirting the modest sports field, Pinkie Pie stepped closer to the bench. She expected she would crash into a wall again but she just couldn't help it, she had to try. She couldn't have tell why but Rainbow Dash exerted some power of attraction on her. Something, like an unknown force, constantly pushed her to come to her, to try and get her friendship. Or even a bit of her sympathy.

"Hi!" she said, sitting on the bench by her side. "What a beautiful day!"

Rainbow Dash glared at her. Once again, she came and stuck her! This girl reminded her of a puppy who would be thrown rocks at but would keep on following you anyway.

"What the hell do you want from me? Leave me alone!"

"I only want to chat a little..."

"Listen to me. Just because you're new here and I've been new here once, it doesn't mean we have things to say to each other. So please, buy yourself a personality and get off my back!"

She threw her sandwich in the nearby garbage and hurriedly started to put her things away. Her apetite was now ruined and she had only one thing on her mind, that was to get rid of this cumberstone companion as quickly as she could. She was no psychiatrist and no social assistant.

Once again, she was going to flee her and to leave her on her own. With sad eyes, Pinkie Pie looked down, the curls of her hair losing a bit of their puff, like some weird expression of nature. What a sluggard, thought Rainbow Dash. It was exasperated, she had no idea of how much.

"Look up, for goodness' sake! What are you... Some battered spaniels?"

"Do you really think... I am like Starlight Glimmer? Last time, you said I was like her. Am I really that cruel and mean?"

She couldn't help it. Without deeper thinking, Rainbow Dash lifted her hand and slapped her face. Touching her cheek in shock, Pinkie Pie finally looked up, with tears in her eyes, as if trying to figure out whether or not such a thing had just happened to her.

"Why you..."

"Aren't you able to understand who you are? If you always rely on what the others could be saying about you, you'll never get anywhere in life. Stop acting like a faithful puppy or a poor abandonned kitty and try to interrogate yourself. Are you living your life on behalf of the others?"

Pinkie Pie didn't dare to reply and looked down again. She knew a lot of different persons in the course of her still young existence, but it was the first time someone was pointing fingers on her own weakness and pressed it. This, of course, wasn't to make Rainbow Dash want to speak with her a bit more.

Herself didn't understand why she bothered giving advice to that girl. She was the happy fluffy but quickly defeated kind that had always irritated her, even more than simple silly and sappy girls daydreaming of a lifetime as housewives/servants of the Masters. To be so influenced by what the others thought or said, to let fear dominating over aggressiveness, this wasn't tolerable. Especially the last point which reminded her too much of her own weakness back in the days when she dread Him more than anything else.

"Oh, won't you please look up now! Don't be surprised that others are bullying you if you're showing them they're entitled to do so. Do you think that's going to make them want to befriend you? Grow up a little, kid."

Softly, Pinkie Pie looked up, as said. But not because it sounded more like an order than like a wise piece of advice. It was this girl... She truly was amazing! Her intelligence and her strength looked extraordinary to her. She swore she would never be weak again, just to show her she deserved to be her friend.

Without another word, Rainbow Dash grabbed her bag and got away. The girls of the other class, who had stopped playing soccer when they saw the slap, resumed their game.

So, this was it? After all this, she was going to leave anyway? Was that that hard be breathing the same air as she? Pinkie Pie hesitated for only a couple of seconds, then called out to her.

"I know I'm not very smart. I probably don't deserve that a girl as gifted and sharpsighted as you could be interested in me. But I'd like to try anyway. You know, I can see you and sometimes, you look so sad. It makes me feel sad as well. It's as if something terrible has happened to you. As if you were... broken."

Rainbow Dash was stopped in her race. The saying "still water runs deep" came back to her mind. Pinkie Pie indeed was naive, and rather silly, but she could see things with her heart. This realization moved the depth of her soul.

"So, I'd like to..."

But she didn't know what to do about it. There were so many other things on her mind and no space for anything else. If she let her in, she was going to have to put up with emotions she wasn't sure she was ready to front. So, not even letting her time to complete her sentence, she resumed walking forward, and didn't look back. In this world of appearances, those that were deceiving sometimes were breaking the wheel in the right way.

***

"I really don't know what to do..."

Dr. Horse lit up a cigarette, before gazing at Celestia's preoccupied face. She was a teacher of the most precious kind, what any student could possibly dream of - those who were really concerned about her students' well-being and good development into good adults.

Their love affair had started last summer and they somehow had been able to keep that secret. Back then, already, Rainbow Dash was under the responsibility of his council. Refusing to come to class seriously, she often left school before due time and went to take refugee in the music room. Her case was problematic but no one wanted to exclude her because of the prestige her excellent grade brought to the school. As no one was expecting her to take part in it, she won a mathematics contest on the behalf of CHS which reward was a trip to Cloudsdale. Ever since, she had the head of PTA's favor and no one ever picked holes in her behavior. It was Celestia who had decided, though, that it was in her interests and that of the school that she saw Dr. Horse.

In the past, Dr. Horse had been a psychiatrist in one of those "free school"s that welcomed teenagers who had been rejected by society. He had to front with cases that were extremely difficult but none had ever locked themselves up in mutism like Rainbow Dash.

Her file, accepted by PTA after the payment of a large donation to CHS, presented a turbulent past. Life never did her any favor and her defensiveness was understandable. Yet he knew, deep down, there were some unhealed wounds that she wanted to scream out loud, to spit in the face of the world. Of this, he was sure. But she kept it all buried inside, as if her pain had to stay enclosed within her and never weakened.

As if soothing that pain would mean her own death.

"Don't worry," he said, softly taking his companion's hand across the table. "I'm sure you're going to find a solution. I won't stop thinking about it, I swear. Trust me on it."

Trust... This was the fuel that made people go forward, to cope with the downfalls of life. To have someone to trust was an essential condition to well-being. Maybe this was where the key of her problems laid.

Author's Note

In case you might be wondering, the structure of the story is special... But don't run away, I swear everything's going to be clearer soon :twilightsmile:

An Ode to Reminiscence

Dragging her feet, Cadance was wondering why on Earth she was here. Her sisters had insisted for her to follow them. But was it reasonable, for a female teacher, to go in such a place. Just because she saw her family very sporadically, it didn't mean they had to make her do stupid things.

"Let's get out of here!" she claimed, turning tail.

Her sisters caught her back and linked her both arms together with hers, in order to make her walk in the right direction.

"Don't be such a party pooper! Why can't we have fun for once?"

"But... What if someone sees us? It's not a suitable place for a teacher, even less so for respectable housewives."

Her sisters laughed in her face. It always was this way. They never took her seriously. And they said being the youngest of a family was being at the best spot...

She looked at the street unwinding in front of her. Canterlot's red light district was unfolding its tawdry lights before her naive eyes. The place overflowed with bars that were more or less shady, of hotels rented rooms for one hour and of Host Clubs. It was to one of them that her sisters wanted her to go, so she could have a good time and relax, or so they say.

Excited, they envisioned some of the doors but they never stopped to any. A young man in a dazzling blue suit, a colorful lollipop in one hand and visit cards in another, approached them. His hair had the color of toffees, his skin was tan like Cary Grant's and his hair glowing with brillantine. He was the kind of boy that peopled female teenager's dream, an Elvis wannabe without the exotic smile. He placed himself in front of them, walking backwards and stretched out his cards to them. He seemed to be full of self-confidence and of loquacity.

"You look like movie stars, ma'am... Would you like to go to our club? It's very elegant and you'll be treated like the Queens you are."

She took a glimpse at the card he just gave her. The club's name was Heaven's Gate and on it was printed pictures of Adonis of the same kind than the young who was trying to convince them.

And he actually happened to be successful since her sisters decided that yes, indeed, they would gladly go to his club.

Cadance was surprised by the setting. She imagined it would be a tawdry bar, with red veils all over red sofas, half-plunged in the dark. Instead, the ceiling had moldings, the light was soft, the sofas were black and the walls were sober. In the hall, a young man had taken their coats and welcomed them as if they were very important celebrities.

The melody from a piano softly floated in the air. Young women, seemingly from the upper middle-class, with that attitude of the perfect housewives, were chatting surrounded by the Adonis of the pictures. They were given a table.

They sat on the comfortable sofa appointed for them, in front of which stood a silver and oak coffee table. The boy who escorted them to it asked them if they wanted to be with one host in particular.

"Someone handsome, young and sophisticated, the older sister said.

"And we prefer with a natural tan or no tan at all."

"Fine."

He got away and stopped at another table. There, two young men wearing a grey suit got up, apologized to their current clients and went to their own table.

Cadance was very impressed, and unsure why, her heart had started to play the drums in her chest. Her sisters were giggling like teenage girls, apparently in clover. At her right, a first young men introduced himself. His features were so delicate he could almost be taken for a girl, had not his frame been that of a full-grown man. He sat by the older sister's side. Another boy arrived at her left, and Cadance was so ashamed to be here that she only had a glimpse at midnight blue hair. The other host had already started his charm offensive with her sisters.

The new one introduced himself the same way, by slightly leaning over.

"Welcome. I'm Soarin Skies. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Hearing that name, Cadance froze and abruptly looked up. Her surprise was as huge as the one she read on Soarin's face when he looked up as well. During a couple of seconds, both were unable to move.

What his homeroom teacher was doing in such a place? If she ever came to disclose the fact one of her students was working in a host club in the red light district, then all of Soarin's efforts to achieve his goals would have been vain.

"Soa... Soarin?" she asked, enunciating each syllables of his name.

Sighing, he got together and sat beside the teacher.

"Act normally, please. That's best for the both of us," she whispered to her.

She looked away. The other host, which name she couldn't remember, was offering a lighter to one of her sisters. Soarin, unshakable, moved an ashtray in her direction. Meanwhile, Cadance could hardly believe what she witnessed and where she was. Why was he doing this kind of job? Though, she had to admit, he seemed to be rather at ease in the role.

"Oh, he's absolutely charming," her youngest sister said.

Soarin had a smile. Deep within, he didn't care much about the clients' compliments but he had to smile, he was paid for it, and a lovely little sum, with it. Still, Cadance was looking at him as if she were sitting in the middle of a movie set. The illusion seemed to be so perfect.

"Thank you. That's very kind of you. Would you like something to drink?"

"I wouldn't say no! Scotch would be perfect. Wouldn't it, Cadance?"

"What? Oh yes, indeed."

Soarin haild the waiter and asked him to bring a bottle of Scotch. His teacher was as clenched as the fist of a boxer. This fool was about to ruin everything! He slightly elbowed her, so she would act much more naturally.

Yet, she couldn't help but wonder what motivated an eighteen years-old teenager to lie about his age in order to do such a job. This boy remained a mystery to her. He had many secrets... But was she woman enough to front them? As his teacher, she felt it was her duty to see right through them, in order to help her student the best way she could. The lingering question was that one - how could she do that?

***

This morning, Pinkie Pie was feeling a bit more self-confident than any other morning before going to class. Yes, she had no friends but she felt that Starlight Glimmer would cease to bully her. Her first class was geology. It was a demand from her mother - she had to try to get better grades in the scientific topics, out of mathematics, or her credits would never be enough. Pinkie Pie had chosen geology because her family loved rocks and so she thought it would be easier than chemistry. She didn't have huge abilities. Yet it remained a difficult topic.

What could be Rainbow Dash's first lesson today?

***

Rolling his pencil over the table, Dr. Horse remained silent. In front of him, Rainbow Dash, her arms crossed, was entranched in her usual mutism. She wore three dressings: one on the cheek, the other near her left eyebrow and the last one, bigger, on her hand.

"What an interesting look. I didn't know dressings were in fashion."

"Mind your own business!" she said without a look.

"Would you like to know how I chose to become a psychiatrist? My parents divorced when I was a kid, and it was even more dishonorable than it is right now. So, I've been send to see a lot of psychiatrist because that was in fashion too, back then. And I hated them. When you don't like something, you have to deal with it, don't you think so? That's how I chose my job."

"Moving story. Send the script to Sirk. Do you think I care?"

Well, at least, she had said something, though it was a very small victory. But maybe that was time for a revolution. He looked through the pocket of his brown suit and took a cigarette pack. He gave her one of them, just to see Rainbow Dash's reaction.

"No thanks. Those mint thingy taste awful."

Shrugging, he lit his cigarette and waited. He gave her until the end of it before she would say something from her own will, anything, even insulting him, that she opened her mouth and expressed herself. That was all he asked. Once this deadline would be reached, he would use a new method and not a soft one.

Of course, Rainbow Dash didn't open her mouth. She only watched through the window, silently. Yesterday, red leaves of the maple trees were playing with the wind on the tip of branches. And today, they all lain on the ground, colorless, digrading. Everything was so elusive...

Dr. Horse crushed his cigarette in the chrome-plated ashtray. She hadn't said a word. In that case, he was going to use the other way.

"You're not going to speak, uh?"

No answer.

"Frankly, you don't gain anything not to speak. Because if you don't explain, I'm going to have to stick to the facts."

He took a thick file out of a drawer of his desk. Upside down, Rainbow Dash recognized what was written on it with a black felt-tip pen. Her name. This was her file.

He could stick to the fact as much as he wanted. Not that she cared. Not that he could do anything for her. Talking would be no help. Only actions mattered.

"When reading this file, do you know what's the main feeling? Don't you? It feels like Rainbow Dash, because of her tragic past and her high-level IQ, has turned into a slacker who doesn't give a care about anything and anyone. She thinks she's so superior that she couldn't accept she lost her boyfriend and she went hysterical. Then she tried to ruin things even more because she was too much of a coward to front the fact life doesn't have always to go her way."

"You don't know sh*t about me!"

"Right, so why don't you explain?

"Whar for? What else are you going to do. Things won't get any better because I had talked to you."

"I never said they would."

"So, what? What's the point, then? Changing what the facts make people think about me?"

"No. Only it would relieve you of a burden and you'll be able to move forward again."

"Well, I don't want to move forward," she said, with tears in her voice. What if what I really want is that everything would go back to normal... When he was still here with me?"

Rainbow Dash, who had sat up from anger, dropped heavily down the red-velvet armachair. She had just realized. Right now. She always acted as if her only focus was on the future, on University, on the promise but in reality, she was overwhelmed by remorse. She regretted her former life, although it was a life filled with nightmares.

A single tear rolled over her cheek. She bit her bottom lip in order not to scream. It hurt. It hurt like hell.

"No one can go back in time, Rainbow Dash. You don't have the choice. You have to move forward. And I think there's much to celebrate. You're free and so is your boyfriend."

"But that freedom is useless. We wanted... to get it together. If we're apart, then everything's meaningless."

She had spoken, staring at emptiness. Her eyes displayed a cruel and baffling mix of deep hate, sorrow, contempt, disgust. Dr. Horse finally understood. When she lost that boy she loved so much, the only person she ever trusted with all her heart, it was as if a part of her had died. Everyone needed someone to trust and love. Someone to help you cope with the truth of ordeals. This mysterious nameless boy was that someone for Rainbow Dash.

It was a miserable child sitting in front of him. In her way, she was touching, although her grief and pain were really aggressive.

Dr. Horse took another cigarette from his pack. Staring at the young woman, with her eyes staring at emptiness, he wondered what motivated her to get off her bed every morning. She never tried to kill herself. It meant she had something to cling to, despite circumstances.

"And why did you choose to stay alive?"

"A promise. Soarin and I made a promise to each other. I don't know whether he still remebers. But just in case he does, I'm staying alive. If he doesn't, well, then..."

She never finished her sentence. The bell of the end of class rang. Of course, they had made an incredible progress, in a very short time. The girl who had never uttered a word until then had explained everything in barely the quarter of an hour. He had been right to drive her into a corner.

Her next class was mathematics. Rainbow Dash decided not to go. When she left the room, though, she felt less burdened and at the same time, a huge feeling of melancholy was washing over her heart. To mention it had been trying. She didn't know what she could do with what had just been said. She didn't know what to think and how could she think about it. She was feeling completely lost.

***

Her head empty of thoughts, like a puppet driven by someone else's actions, Pinkie Pie was heading to her main classroom. Her freedom was short-lived. Already, she had to front with the most complete of loneliness and to cope with pregnant looks. To meet Starlight Glimmer's eyes after what happened in the closet seemed to be almost insurmountable.

"Pinkamena!"

Her homeroom teacher's voice resounded behind her back. Pinkie Pie turned around. Celestia was scampering about her, textbooks and papers in her hand.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Is everything okay since the last time we talked?"

She hoped she would give her a sharper insight of her situation. She suspected the bullying but she absolutely needed her account or else she would never be able to help her. But one more time, Pinkie Pie decided to keep it secret. It wasn't for her own sake, it was because of the fight in the closet of cleaning supplies.

"Yes, don't worry. Everything's perfect."

"Oh. Well, that's fine, then."

Celestia resumed her walk and met Rainbow Dash coming from the opposite direction. She was walking rapidly, as if she was trying to flee someone as fast as possible, her backpack hanging on her shoulder by a single strap.

"Don't be late, Rainbow Dash..."

She passed her by without a word. Celestia stopped and looked at her with concerns. Obviously, she wasn't going to go to class. Did something serious happened with Dr. Horse?

"Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash," Pinkie Pie said when she passed her by as well. "Yesterday, I forgot to say thank you."

"Leave me alone! I'm sick of you!"

Just like she did with her teacher a few seconds earlier, she kept on walking straight, eyes focused in front of her, in a hurry. The hurry of avoidance.

***

At broad daylight, he looked like any senior students. Except that he spent way too much time sleeping at the back of the class! Yet, she could still picture him with his elegant grey suit, smiling to her sisters, pouring them drinks, litting cigarettes. Between this vision and that of the moody student, it was like associating milk and oil.

Faithful to his habits, Thunderlane was drooling over pages of his favorite magazine, proud to show them to his friends. Silver Zoom was the only one paying attention, while improvising a bridge game against himself. Flash Sentry was thinking hard, his eyes lost in the contemplation of a stain on the cream walls. Just like her other students, the bunch did exactly what they wanted, and nothing but what they wanted. That didn't include learning anything, though.

Cadance sighed of discourage. There really was nothing she could do.

Weary, she turned to her blackboard and took a long look at the vocabulary written on it. It wouldn't be of any use but here she was so she had to keep going...

"Please not these words in your directories. It would be great if you could form sentences with these new words. They're not so hard."

Obviously, no one listened. She completely ignored how to gain the firm hand which would help her to catch their attention. Teaching in a class of students in great difficulties was way much harder than she used to imagine when she was at University. She thought it would take time, effort and understanding but that she would eventually make them work. It hadn't worked well, so far.

The bell rang. It was lunch time, already. In an astounding racket of chairs and tables knocked over, the boys who were her homeroom class got up one by one and left the place. They never had their lunch here.

Before he run away as well, she hailed Soarin.

"If you have a minute, please."

Hands in his pocket, he stopped and turned around with a look that conveyed how much he considered her a nuisance. But he walked forwar, anyway because she was his teacher, after all. Though he never really had any real respect for her authority.

"It's about last night..."

"I won't tell anyone you were at the red light district, don't worry. It's none of my business."

"No, that's not the point. I trust you, I know you won't say anything. It's just that, I wondered... Why working in such a place? Wouldn't that be better to work at a garage or maybe at a nice dinner?"

"In what is this your business?"

"Well, it's dangerous. I mean, if someone from PTA notices, it could ruin your future."

"Are you dumb or something? This isn't a posh private school here and no one from PTA can afford going to my club. It's even strange that you've been able to afford it yourself."

"My sisters have husband in the advertisment industry, they're very rich. But as I said, there are many other casual works for a young man of your age."

"No, there are not. None of them are as easy and bring that much money in."

"It's a public school, fees are very cheap. You don't need that lot of money."

"I do. I want to go to University. It's very expensive, as you know, so I have to save money. So, even if..."

He looked away and suppressed some tears. It was already complicated enough to explain it to this teacher, he didn't want her to pity him with it all. There was no way he would show her how destroyed he was inside.

"Even if the person I wanted to go to isn't here anymore... In her memory, I have to go there."

"I see. In fact, you're a very upstanding person."

"Nonsense!"

"Well... You aren't concentrated in class so I wonder how you're going to have enough knowlege for the selection exam. It's very difficult."

"Don't worry about that."

He got back his weary gait in order to leave the room. No matter what were the reasons why he decided to confide in her, at least now she knew a bit more about him. Cadance smiled to herself as she realized that, actually, her most difficult student was the one with the biggest ambition.

That was when his words "even if the person I wanted to go with isn't here anymore... In her memory...". So he had lost someone dear, someone precious. That could explain a lot.

What the Heaven/Hell

Starlight Glimmer done nothing and said nothing. Even the pregnant looks were gone. As a replacement, a complete and cold indifference had taken over. In the eyes of her own class, Pinkamena Diane Pie didn't exist. She was like a fly flitting in the corner of a wall, as insignificant as that. Everybody knew she was here and acted as if she wasn't.

Staring at her lunch box on the desk, Pinkie Pie couldn't eat anything. Her apetite was ruined. She was now controlled by her biggest fear - loneliness. Why did it have to be that way?

It probably was no help to wallow in self-pity but motivation had deserted her. She wanted nothing anymore. She didn't even realize someone was pulling a chair to sit by her side.

All eyes, skeptical, were on her.

"You'd better eat something. If you don't, you're going to be tired all day long. Your brains need calories to function correctly, don't you know that?"

Pinkie Pie looked up, unable to believe what she yet saw. Rainbow Dash was on the chair next to hers, opening her own lunchbox. It felt as awkward as a scene from an experimental movie. She blinked in order to see if that wasn't an optical illusion. Maybe she had turned insane... But it was real.

"Why do you pull such a face? Is what you got to eat that bad? Yet this sandwich looks tasty."

"No, it's not... Just... Are you really talking to me?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking. It's clear you're a bit silly but you're not a mean person. Actually... You remind me of puppies with tearful eyes. When you see them, all you want is to kick their butt yet in the end, you always start to stroke their little heads."

Coming from someone else, this comment would have hurt her. But Pinkie Pie thought, coming from that person in particular, it probably was some sort of a compliment. So, she displayed her biggest smile and stretched out a hand in front of Rainbow Dash, who blinked from surprise.

"Let's be friends, then!"

"You fuddy-duddy... Lower your hand, will you?"

Pinkie Pie immediately lowered her hand. Her smile faded away for a very short while, before cracking up her face in two.

"And you remind me of Jo March!"

"Who?"

"It's true," a girl from another desk said, meddling with the conversation. "She's brash and a tomboy like her!"

"Yes, it would be a good nickname for her," another one said as well.

A small restlessness started to boil around them. All it had taken was one small little comment, supposedly private, and indifference sinked into the oblivion of spontaneity. Of course, Startlight Glimmer looked at that scene unfavorably and forbade her friends to take part in it, before she left the room. And no one paid attention.

Pinkie Pie was happy. Seeing them together, they looked as solid as the girls from that other class, the one that had her fantasized of unity. It was a radical change that had operated within the scope of a couple of minutes. Life was like that. All it took was a small push to get things moving.

"Who the hell is that Jo March?" Rainbow Dash repeated, a little tensed from the sudden attention.

Ever since Pinkie Pie had said this name that sounded familiar but that she couldn't quite place, the girls surrounding her had started to speak in a foreign language made of names and anecdotes which she was completely clueless about.

"She's the main character from Little Women. You know the book, come on, it's a classic. Or at least the movie."

"Do I look like I'm watching sappy movies for sappy little girls?"

"They really are the same! She's so Jo March! And she has a little something of June Allyson too!" one girl claimed and all the others nodded and laughed.

Pinkie Pie laughed too and for the very first time, she wasn't ashamed that she laughed out loud. An overwhelming feeling of happiness was growing inside her chest. Something light and bubbly, like apple fizzy cider. She knew it - this was what school was supposed to look like. No differences, no quarrel, no bullying. Only harmony and bliss.

***

At first, when Rainbow Dash asked Pinkie Pie to bring Little Women to school so she could read it and see who she was being compared to, she was angry at her. The young girl arrived with the a collection of the two novels.

Bored to death in her bedroom, she took the first one and thought she would never like it but quickly, she was so wrapped up in the story she wasn't able to put the books down until she was done with both.

She thought she had nothing left to discover and suddenly, she became acquainted with a whole world that was unknown to her. When she tried to fall asleep that night, Rainbow Dash whispered, looking at the pale moon through her window, as if she were speaking directly to Soarin. "See? I still have things to learn. You were right. The world is huge, I haven't been all around it yet."

It was a conversation they once had, when they were hanging around together for that common work. They often had discussions about the meaning of life, debating while doing all sorts of simple things, like sipping on a common vanilla milkshake.

Yes, she regretted this period. But she knew it, if Soarin remembered, everything would be possible again. Maybe differently, maybe in brand new unprecedented ways, but it would be there anyway. Wishing for it to be true one day, she finally fell asleep.

The books were heavy. Rainbow Dash only wanted one thing, that was to put down this damn bag. So she hurried more than usually to get to her classroom. The other girls looked at her in an unsettled manner - she had never been seen walking so fast through the corridors of CHS.

She put the bag on the desk in an abrupt fashion and Pinkie Pie jumped from the scare.

"Here, I've read all two books."

"What? You read that... in only one weekend?"

"Yeah... Sounds crazy, right? I really like Jo. She really is a lot like me."

"I'm glad you liked it. But you could have taken your time, you know."

"I couldn't put them down at all. There's just one thing... I wish Teddy hadn't been in love with Jo at all. It ruined what I liked about their friendship."

"You truly are a Jo March!"

"If Rainbow Dash is Jo, then Pinkie Pie is Amy..."

This sentence came from Starlight Glimmer. She spoke from her chair, her back turned on them, as if addressed to the atmosphere. A dark shadow of silence weighed on the classroom and the air suddenly turned electric. Quickly after, her two friends went farther.

"You betcha! They're both really stupid."

"But wait, Amy has to be played by Jayne Mansfield. For the breasts."

They burst out laughing. Everyone had heard the comments but no one dared to protest. The other girls still were very much afraid of Starlight Glimmer, no matter how they now felt free to talk to the two outsiders of the class. They would ever try to contradict her, even a little bit.

Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie Pie. She was looking down again, as if all the weight of the world was now crushing her shoulders' bones. Each time she acted that way, she was so unbearable! Why couldn't she say anything? Her name and her virtue were stamped on and she found nothing to reply...

"The only future that miserable tart will have is stripper in her damn country. Or the cover of Playboy, at best. It's a miracle that she's still at school."

Pinkie Pie was still mute, looking down and at each insult, her head hid between her shoulders like a turtle on the verge of hibernation. Rainbow Dash was boiling inside. How could she let anyone damage her reputation without a word of reply? It was as if she were saying to this b*tch of Starlight Glimmer that she was right about her.

She leaped on her feet and hit Pinkie Pie's desk, making her jump. Thankfully, Starlight Glimmer and her vipers stopped spitting venom at the same time.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Don't you have dignity? Don't let her say such things about you without defending yourself! I didn't know you were that stupid!"

"But I can't defend myself. What would I say? I know I'm not smart."

"This isn't a reason to let her humiliate you. Fight, for goodness sake!"

"I'm sorry, Dashie. I can't do that."

She burst out crying. Her own cowardice inspired her pity with a mix of deep disgust. She was right, she had no dignity. No strength to fight.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, didn't know what to do with these tears. Here she was standing, wondering what she had to do next. Clumsily, she patted her friend's head.

"Come on, stop crying. It's not such a big deal. I could teach you that, you know. Everything could be taught. Life's an endless lesson."

Pinkie Pie looked up with eyes drowning in tears. What exasperating eyes! She definitely looked like these puppies which Rainbow Dash had compared her with. However, she was feeling some sort of sympathy for her. That's how foolish life was.

Author's Note

Okay, a little point of reference... This is June Allyson

Chance Encounter

Fall had gone by slowly. Winter was sitting on top of the trees. Sooner than later, High School years would come to an end. Already, started reviews for the entrance examinations of Universities. Each had their own wishes though some hadn't made up their mind yet. Rainbow Dash's choice had always been clear - art in Canterlot Univesity. She had no other wishes. Her teachers wouldn't insist for her to try to apply for other Colleges, probably because they knew she didn't need it.

Pinkie Pie was part of those who couldn't decide and for her, future seemed to be rather uncertain. Of course, she had taken back a bit of her self-confidence since Starlight Glimmer's bullying had stopped but deep inside her, she was scared the girl was right. What could she hope for, with her lack of common sense?

"I'm sure you can at least take classes of typing," Rainbow Dash once suggested her. "No entrance exam, and you'll find a good job very quickly. Why not in advertisment?"

Pinkie Pie made no answer. Even this seemed to her to be too ambitious. She didn't thought she had enough intellectual skills to be in such a professional position.

It was a cold day and the wind blew hard, whistling through the windows of the old car Rainbow Dash now took to get to school. She always drove Pinkie Pie home, since they knew they lived rather close to each other. Sometimes, Pinkie Pie visited Rainbow Dash so she could get help in her homework or when she didn't understand a lesson. It was no easy task, especially as Pinkie Pie needed a lot of time and Rainbow Dash wasn't the patient kind.

Placing a wool hat on her head in order to protect her ear from the wind, she waved her friend goodbye through the misty windows of the 1935 Ford Phaeton. She drove, eyes on the road and shoulders clenched from the cold. This car had style and the necessary spirit for someone like her, but it had one annoying problem. Its age prevented it from having a good system of heating inside.

She thought about that time, right before last summer holidays were over, and she went back home on a dark night. At the last minute, Windy had to take a long-distance flight and Rainbow Dash was alone. A letter from her stepmother lain on the kitchen table next to a dish of pastas covered by a plastic film. It had remined her of the time when Windy and her son had went away to celebrate his birthday. The last time they ever celebrated anything together.

Caught unprepared and suddenly full of a sharp sorrow, she went out of the house and ran as fast as she could to Soarin's house. There were lights upstairs and she had a glimpse of Muffin reviewing. Despite her concentration, she seemed to bear a terrible pain down her shoulders. Her fresh-faced cheeks had lost the chubbiness of childhood.

Rainbow Dash collapsed down the ground in front of the house that meant so much to her once and that was now rejecting her despite the tenderness she could have lived there. Silent tears were running down her cheeks when she felt a presence behind her back. And so, she met face to face with the abandonned dalmatian, but with shiny hairs and a collar round his neck. The leg was still limping but had been covered with a bandage. Holding him by the end of a leach, a young girl with short purple hair, of about twelve, looked at her crying, her brows frowning from concern.

"Is it okay, ma'am?" the little voice asked.

It was the moment when she knew hope wasn't lost. Up until that night, strength had abandoned her little by little and she doubted of the goal she wanted to achieve. After this night, she had decided she would never give up, whatever happened.

When she went back to herself, she was home. She pushed the door and started to undo her shoes... but the house wasn't empty.

All smile and joy, Windy Whistles arrived at the entrance, her short orange hair freshly out of curlers.

"Hello, Dashie. Hurry up and leave your bag upstairs! We're going downtown."

"Downtown? Why? It's really cold outside. I don't want to go downtown."

"Oh, please don't be such a party pooper. You're a teenager, not an old lady. I've received money from dad. Come on, be a doll, you owe that to your poor mams."

"What if I refuse?"

"Well, you have no choice. You come with me and that's all."

Rainbow Dash gave up without a fight. It was impossible to make her change her mind when she had decided something. Always the temperamental type. And it was Rainbow Dash who had to give in to her every whim. One would wonder who was the adult of the house.

Putting her bag in her room, she had a glimpse at her reflection in the mirror. She knew... He had been gone for some time now but his ghost kept on haunting the walls of this house. And it would probably keep on haunting Rainbow Dash's body forever.

***

Soarin was wondering why he had accepted. Even Flash Sentry, who usually wasn't interested in this kind of things, was playing along with the others. His friends had been able to get a date with girls from a Catholic High School but that wasn't as reputed as CCHS. It already was a big victory for both Thunderlane and Silver Zoom.

In Soarin's opinion, this was a pure waste of time.

When he was working at the club, he never hesitated to play with his smile, to speak and laugh with the clients as if they were the oldest friends but this was his work. It was a role and each of the parts was perfectly aware of that. Dates were different. He didn't want to pretend he was excited. Especially as the girls they had chosen weren't his type at all. Moving his chair back, he leaned his back against the glass of the dinner's front window.

**

Escorting Windy always was a plague. Rainbow Dash hated those "girls stuff" her stepmother liked so much. It was only good for superficial fools like Starlight Glimmer and her favorite pair of sidekicks... Streets of Downtown Canterlot were swarming about with people. In the heterogeneous crowd, mine workers, secretaries, rich men in silk suits with briefcases, glamourous women mimicking movie stars and dressed with fur coats, teenagers in jeans or poodle skirts, couples kissing in public, all mixed and walked with one same goal; consumate. The only interesting thing about these outings was a chance to observe this sample of the human population.

Unfortunately, she had no time for this. All she was allowed to was wandering from shops to shops, waiting in front of the dressing rooms, waiting at the cashier... Uninteresting and deadly boring.

Of course, Rainbow Dash liked to go downtown, of course, she had been in those shops too but she only visited one or two of them, always the same and she never spent hours acting all snooty. It was all the more ridiculous that the subject of it all was an adult.

"Oh! I want to buy shoes here. They got beautiful pairs. Come on, Dashie."

"Sorry, you'll do this one without me. My feet hurt. I'm waiting here."

"Are you sure? I could buy shoes for you. What about new Oxfords?"

"No thanks. Which means I'm sure."

"Fine, do as you please. Wait for me here, it won't take too long."

Windy rushed to the shop. She definitely looked like she was the teenager here. It was almost sad. Sighing, Rainbow Dash leaned against the front window of a dinner with colorful walls where teenagers were dancing to the sound of Rock Around the Clock, took off her woolen hat and lit up a cigarette. She would wait here until Windy's current whim would be over.

**

Soarin looked at his friends trying to hit on the girls, with his arms crossed. Not that it was fascinating but there wasn't much else he could do. It turned out that they were so wrapped up in this activity that they hadn't even noticed that he no longer was sitting at the same table.

Someone had just leaned against the front window, thus suddenly blocking the light of the pale sun. He threw one more glance at his friends.

One of the four girls was alone. She shlyly glanced in his direction. It was the most common of them, though she wasn't ugly but she really had no charm, with her ponytail tied thanks to a scarf like it was in fashion. Even if she had been of an exquisite beauty, though, it wouldn't have changed a thing. He turned and tried to see who was the person blocking the sun behind him.

It was a girl. She was smoking a cigarette but he couldn't see her face. Her red coat with fake black fur at the collar didn't completely hide her cotton dotted black shortdress, stockings with a seam in the back and flat ballet shoes. Her hair was long and tied in a messy ponytail that reached the center of her shoulder blades. It had these colors that were so rare...

He couldn't help himself. He carefully observed her figure, her hands. With her back on him, the resemblance was unsettling. But it was nothing but an illusion. It had too. Because dead ones never came back to life.

**

Unsure of why, Rainbow Dash felt as if someone was spying on her from behind. That sensation was awkward. She didn't want to turn around, thinking it probably was nothing but a sudden attack of paranoia. Sometimes, it happened to her. Undoubtedly because of old fears that came back to the surface.

Yet she turned around, just so she could be sure...

**

The girl turned around...

**

No, it couldn't be. She was dreaming. This was only an illusion of her mind, trying to trick her but in no way could this be real.

**

Soarin felt colors leaving his face. Had he turned completely insane, to the extent that he had hallucinations? Rainbow Dash has jumped off the roof of her school and now she was dead and she couldn't be standing in front of him.

**

She blinked several times. The young man standing in front of her at the other side of the window looked exactly like Soarin. But it couldn't be Soarin - Windy told her he no longer lived in Canterlot. So, why...?

She put a hand against the window and took a closer look.

**

The girl was now staring at him, frowning. Her face was so close, and her hand rested against the front window. Soarin's heart pounded against his chest. He was dreaming, this was the only explanation. Muffin was distraught, she had cried, she had shook her head no. Rainbow Dash hadn't survived the jump. Unless...

**

It was Soarin. It wasn't some doppleganger, it was him, Soarin, there, in this dinner. Sitting a few inches away, close to a table with four girls and four boys wearing the same school uniform looking at him with concern, while talking to the girls. She could recognize the coat of arms on their sweater. Mountview, a non-coed school for boys, on the skirts of Canterlot's suburbia. She whispered his name...

**

She said his name... As unreal as it seemed, the girl truly was Rainbow Dash, the one he loved, the one he thought was dead for all these years, and she was here and she was standing in front of him. He put a hand against the window, at the same spot than she. This window that was a fence parting them.

As soon as she understood there was no mistake and he had recognized her as well, Rainbow Dash threw her cigarette and started to walk, her hand following her course along the window, until they both reached the door, that door that would finally get them back together.

Soarin followed her and did the same with his hand. His three friends now understood something was happening and they had stopped chatting with their dates. They stared at them, and especially at him, skeptical.

They finally reached the door. For a couple of seconds, they stared at each other, unable to submit to the obvious, that he never left Canterlot at all and that she never jumped off a roof.

Soarin stretched out his hand to get to the doorknob, and pulled it to him. Now the fence had fallen. They stepped towards each other.

**

Windy went out of the shop, satisfied, her face slit in a proud smile. It wasn't reasonable to act so childishly but she also could get compensation from time to time. It wasn't easy, educating a teenage girl while knowing she hated you. If she had been asked, she had thought twice about it before marrying her father. Although it implied that then, she would have never known the lie that had been her life for so long.

She looked for Rainbow Dash and saw her stepping forward, like about to enter inside the nearby dinner. She came her way. Through the window, a boy with midnight blue hair dressed soared up in front of the door in the same way. Rainbow Dash... A boy... Could it be... Soarin Skies?

Understanding her lie had chances to be discovered, she dashed towards Rainbow Dash and pulled her by her arm.

"Come on, Dashie. Let's go."

**

At the exact moment where she was about to fell on his neck, someone had pulled her back. Rainbow Dash, frowning, looked at Soarin's figure getting farther and farther as Windy dragged her out of the crowd. And she was too stunned to fight. She'd been lied to.

**

He'd been lied to. Rainbow Dash was alive... Why? Why such a horrible lie? Why knowing how much he would suffer afterwards? He held no grudge against the one who told the lie, though, because he new she surely had been forced to lie. The culprit were those who forced her to. And he knew exactly who they were.

The Very Beginning

THREE YEARS EARLIER

Soarin stepped into the huge room where the ceremony would happen. Rows and rows of chairs unwound in front of his eyes and right at the back, a huge stage stood, covered with a white carpet, with mikes and chairs as well. A banner was stretched from one wall to another wall that said welcome to students for this new year at Crystal Prep. The only chairs that were empty happened to be at the front, a few inches away from the stage. He sighed and went there with a nonchalant gait.

It was the first hour of his very first day and already, he was feeling weary. All the students were heckling and superficial friendship started to bloom. How he hated this messy hubbub. He had always hated noise. He had always hated those who got together for stupid or vain reasons. He never had real friends. Loneliness was his best companion.

Everybody told him High School would be a turning point in his life yet he could already sense that nothing was going to change. Sitting down, he looked at the stage in front of him... Yes, nothing really changed and everything would definitely bore him. Even baseball, which until then had always been his only space of entertainment, was starting to have him growing weary.

The ceremony started with its flow of introducing speeches each one more pompous than the last. Soarin was resolutely bored but since he was at the front row, he forced himself to listen, out of sheer respect of the traditions, though his desire to yawn wasn't easy to hold back.

Suddenly, someone from the same row but sitting on the other side of the aisle, didn't bother to show boredom. No one paid attention, or at least, no one had the guts to intervene and chose instead to act as if nothing happened but Soarin, aroused by curiosity, tilted his head on the side.

And he saw her... Yes, her... She made a chewing-gum bubble that plopped in the middle of the speeches when it popped, shamelessly, her knees pinned together but her calves open, her Oxford shoes covered with mud and one of her socks higher on her legs than the other one... She also had rainbow hair that she hadn't bother to curl, hanging down her shoulders. There was sometime exotic about her face and she had a pretty milky skin.

Unnoticed, Soarin cracked a smile. Such bad manners in front of everyone, what impudence! And this impudence had something exciting.

At the end of the ceremony, he wanted to see her again but it seemed like she had run away, as fast as the wind, like an irreverent illusion. But Soarin knew her image would forever be printed in his mind.

***

And the first person he noticed as he stepped into what was going to be his classroom for four years, hands in his pockets, it was her. She was rumpled at the back of the room, pretending to be asleep, while the other girls around were going from desk to desk in order to speak to those they judged worthy of company. It was weird, this compulsion of people for being penned by categories...

But she seemed to be indifferent to this whole performance. Her long rainbow hair covered her face almost entierly yet he knew it was her. First, because he never knew anyone else with rainbow hair before, but also because from under the table, he could see she hadn't fixed the problem of her socks.

He didn't approached her, though. He wasn't the type of boy to come up to girls. He sat behind his desk, throwing his bag on the floor, his hands quickly back in the pockets of his uniform's jacket. He stared at the blackboard while the noise around him kept on going. And despite it all, the only thing he was able to perceive was that, behind him, she was moving. A girl had approached her and spoken to her. A question about her hair. She didn't answer. The girl went back where she came from, next to the other girls she got acquainted with.

Soarin feared for his turn to come. There had to be a moment when someone would try to talk to him.

"Sorry..." a hoarse feminine voice said to him.

He looked up unenthusiastically. In front of him stood a girl with hair like burning fire, a slightly tanned face lit up by stunning turquoise eyes. She looked pretty and mischievous, yet not in the right way.

"Yes?"

"My friends and I think you're really handsome. I really like your hair. Has anyone told you you looked a little like James Dean?"

"He's dead," he replied, raising an eyebrow.

But the girl didn't comment and resumed her strange introducing speech as if nothing had been said at all.

"If you want to, you could sit with my friends and I during lunch. Oh, I'm Sunset Shimmer, by the way."

Soarin opened his mouth. He was about to politely decline, the way he always did when invited by persons he didn't know. But a sardonic chuckle rose from the back of the classroom. Sunset Shimmer turned around, frowning as if she were deeply hurt in that way some of the girls acted in order to be complimented as cute. And Soarin realized "she" was the one who laughed.

"What's so funny?" Sunset Shimmer asked, her two fists on her hips.

"Nothing... But the way you're approaching people is so lame!"

"Hey, who do you think you are?"

"Just an amused observer. Forget about it, Sunset Shimmer..."

She didn't look into her eyes, nor in her direction at any moment. There was a book opened on her desk and she had started to write something down while talking to her. Such contempt... It really fit the character. Soarin himself shared her opinions but would never have dared saying it. Though he didn't know anything about her, he felt close to her.

In front of her partner of conversation's complete loss of interest, Sunset Shimmer drew her attention back on Soarin.

"What do you think?"

"Sorry, Sunset Shimmer but I'd rather eating alone."

Sunset Shimmer pouted and he thought that once again, she was caricaturing the cute girl from movies. She looked down, turned around and met her bunch of brand new friends, girls she had just met and still ignored whether they were soulmate material.

During this first true hour of class, during the roll, he finally got to know her name. She was Rainbow Dash.

Bubble Bubble Pop

"Here. It was my first day of High School.

And so, what? So, nothing! It's not the short holidays between the end of Junior High and Freshmen at High School that were going to change things. A student going to high school for the first time is nothing but a student from junior high thinking he's big shot now. People are superficial consumerists and invidualists. They would fight over the carcass of a rotten chicken if that meant they would have power. No one sees no one. Everything's always about the surface. Nothing else. I've found nothing to stimulate me. University will be the big deal because then, I'll be able to focus on what's really important. I have to tell myself that. If I don't, I won't do any endeavors. Although I didn't plan to do them plenty. I'm nothing but a Junior High thinking she's big shot now, after all."

***

It felt weird, this ability of time. It went by so slowly but when you looked back, everything was so elusive. Thinking these words, Soarin finally looked up at the blackboard. Their teacher was writing some complicated equation and explained the complete process of it. It was so boring. Yet, he pursued it, more because he was obliged to than because he liked that.

His parents, especially his father, exerted this famous pressure of wealthy families - he had to be the best everywhere and in everything. So he would go to a good university. So he would succeed his father. So he would make them proud. And allow them to boast a little, he thought, scratching the back of his ear with his pen. How could anyone love numbers?

His chest swelled. He sighed. Boredom again. It had only been a week since High School had started but boredom didn't care much about time. It was always ready to pop out at any moment, whether you were in High School or anywhere. Behind him, he sensed the muffled sound of a face slipping off a hand. It was almost imperceptible yet he could feel the vibrations.

When desks were assigned, by chance, Rainbow Dash had been placed behind him the way she was on the very first hour. They hadn't talked already yet, like two lonely hearts glad to be what they were.

He then heard her noding off on her table, before she got it together, her face still leaning against her palm. She was sleeping during classes, almost all the time, as soon as lunch break approached. A lot wondered how such a lazy girl could have been accepted in such a prestigious school as Crystal Prep.

After he explained how the equation on the blackboard had to be resolved, their teacher wrote a new one, based on the same system.

"Fine. Who wants to show me they understood?"

No one came forward. Soarin, although not particularly shy in front of a crowd, kept a low profile as well. He didn't want to get off his chair, except if he had to go to the bathroom. This was how interesting high school was to him.

"Nobody? Alright, then. I'm going to choose someone."

Sighs resounded from all over the room. Going to the blackboard was some kind of an ordeal for all of them. If they answered correctly, then good for them... But if they answered the wrong way, it could ruin a reputation. No one wanted to be called stupid in Crystal Prep. Their mathematics teacher opened a notebook with the names of the students on it. He was especially known for choosing those who were at the back of the room and unfortunately, Soarin was one of them.

"Why not, Miss Rainbow Dash? Who is it?"

Soarin didn't dare turning around, while the other students were. Was she still asleep?

Rainbow Dash slowly put her hand up. She had enough time to pretend she had been pursuing the lesson completely.

"Me?" she asked with a halfwit face.

She was putting on an act as well, it seemed obvious. But coming from her, it was part of one of her favorite trick which she called "hoodwinking the adults", and she was very much used to it.

"Yes, that's you," her teacher said. "It's written here that you were the best student of your former school. It's going to be very easy for you. Unless you had your grades cheating."

The students whistled of discontent but Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be disturbed by the comment. Sighing, she slowly walked to the blackboard. The weather was already hot during this month of April yet she constantly kept her jacket, her shirt almost buttoned-up to the collar, with her tie loosen at the max. Everybody wore their summer uniform. She didn't.

As she went through the aisle, girls were talking together, whispering. The news of her being her former school's smartest student came as a big surprise, especially so as, since the very first day of class, Rainbow Dash had not remarkably been active. She spent most of her time drowsing and yawning, eating gums, and she always put her things away before the bell rang.

She stopped in front of the blackboard, took a piece of shalk in her hands and stared at the equation for a short while.

"I bet the teacher's right and she cheated to get the best grades," Sunset Shimmer whispered to her friend on the next desk, in the front row.

Both girls giggled. They weren't really discreet and a part of the students from the front rows had heard her comment. So did Rainbow Dash. And she started to work...

Without a pause, she wrote a series of numbers and formulas on the blackboard, with a disconcerting speed. Sunset Shimmer's boasting smile melted from her face and all the students were now staring at her resolving the equation with a growing sense of suspense, as if they were hanging at each curves and each lines.

From behind his desk, Soarin held his breath. He already noticed her reading that French book, "The Second Sex", by Simone de Beauvoir. He knew there was something special about this girl.

In less than one minute, Rainbow Dash was done. She put down the chalk, rubbed her hands together and went back to her desk. A self-confident smiled had cracked her face and even her gait was now different. It was the gait of someone who was sure of her own abilities.

"Very good," their teacher replied, hiding his disbelief . "The answer's correct. Congratulations."

Instantly, Rainbow Dash could feel a curiosity about her growing from everywhere around. She quickly returned to her comatose state, enjoying this small satisfaction with a certain air of detachment.

**

The wind had changed direction... Since the previous day, it now blew in a brand new manner on Crystal Prep. For Rainbow Dash, at least. With the typical swiftness of rumors and gossips, the news finally reached all the classes of Freshmen and spread like a wildfire all over the school. There was a gifted girl in nineth grade. And she could feel it, students were looking at her differently.

No one whispered about her "argument" with Sunset Shimmer, about the way she wore her uniform, too heavy for spring. They didn't even talk about her hair anymore. From the moment her intellectual abilities had been known, her appearance no longer mattered. It was like a sort of prestige added to the sum.

When these students from Sophomore year approached Rainbow Dash in the schoolyard, her first desire had been to send them away. But a strange curiosity then pushed her to accept and she followed them in an isolated corner of the place. Maybe it really would be something new, not just like everywhere else. It wasn't any school, after all.

If those girls didn't seem to be the easy type, they absolutely didn't want to trap her. Seeing them taking refuge in a place where none of the teachers could see them could mistaken for a violent attack on that new girl that was a little bit too much of a show off. But appearances often were deceiving.

Yet, seeing them, Soarin felt the need to follow them, as unnoticed as possible, to make sure there would be ne trouble. Just because she seemed to be perfectly able to fight back when assaulted didn't mean she could be left to her own devices. What he saw, though, got a smile out of him that was half-amused and half-outraged. Some persons weren't scared of anything.

Crouched, a lollipop in her mouth, fronting the older girls with a detachment that was typical of her, Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be the least surprised when another one of the girls showed her a pile of papers with homeworks written on it.

"How much would you take for an essay?"

She took the hot pink candy out of her mouth, quickly licking her bottom lip to get rid of sugar and she looked closely at the papers. Indeed, it was nothing suprising and nothing new neither. In fact, she was very much used to it. It had been going on since her first day of Elementary school. As soon as people knew about her intelligence, they asked her to do their homeworks, first against candies, then against money.

"That's five dollars for an essay and but eight if the teacher's an a**hole."

"What about mathematics with it?"

"Twelve dollars for the essay and mathematics, but fifteen if the teacher's an a**hole."

"I'm on it for twelve, then," the Sophomore year girl said, putting another stack of papers on the first one.

"Cash first, dolly. No cash, no homework."

"Damn! You're tough, girl."

As if it were some poker stake, the oldest teenage girls put a banknote and coins on the stack of papers and Rainbow Dash hurried to slip the precious money under her shirt, directly into her bra.

Beside the student who she had just done a deal with, was another girl with a laconic attitude who couldn't stop staring at Rainbow Dash's hair. Her face cold and expressionless, she showed her head with her chin, franckly lacking energy.

"Is this natural? It's swell!"

"Yeah, I know that. I'm awesome, honey. Do you want something?"

She shook her head no without a word and her absence of spirit and alertness for anything almost would pass Rainbow Dash off as a girl that was always overwhelmed with joy and ardor, and she was the girl who smiled little and hated to show emotions out of pride, annoyance, boredrom or denigration.

The third girl finally expressed herself. If she wore the same uniform than all the other girls - a baby blue shirt, a knee-lenght pleated skirt, a black tie and matching blazers (optional) and jackets, there were scars on her face that were unmistakable. In the past, it had always been those who didn't look much who had been the worst rascals. Rainbow Dash knew it, the common-type was the one others had to be the most suspicious of.

"What about homeworks of mathematics if I give you a cigarette pack in addition?"

"Let's say three dollars plus cigarettes."

"Why are you asking less money for maths than for essays?" her very first partner of business asked.

"Because essays are boring and I hate them. Maths are applying a formula and nothing more. You know it by heart, you can do it. So... What do you think?"

"Yeah, I take that," the last student answered, putting another stack of papers and banknote at Rainbow Dash's feet, along with cigarettes.

Once again, the money quickly went into the young woman's bra. Not daring to interfere nor even to leave the place, Soarin had taken everything of this unexpected performance in. He knew this kind of skulldudgeries happened but he was far from thinking it also took place in Crystal Prep.

As they were arranging an appointment so that Rainbow Dash could give them their finished work, one of them, the laconic one, finally noticed someone was spying on them. The others weren't slow to notice it too and they leaped backward and quickly leaped on their feet. Rainbow Dash rose an eyebrow from surprise... The three students hurried to run away but she didn't even try.

She turned around to understand what made them flee... and a sigh escaped her lips. She seemed to be slightly annoyed to be caught red-handed, especially by someone from her own class. Bad luck! She was barely back to school and already involved in problems of public order and discipline.

The stick of her lollipop in her mouth, she quickly gathered all the stacks of papers before getting up, while Soarin took a few steps forward now that he was discovered. He could have left but... what he saw had piqued his curiosity.

What was he going to do? It was too late to turn back now and she couldn't deny everything. It would be too much of a bad faith. Now it remained only one choice - to face the consequences, whatever they would be.

"How long have you been there?"

"I've seen everything."

"Great. Now I suppose you're going to lecture me. Or to snitched everything to the Principal, maybe?"

"Nothing of all this."

In reality, she wasn't the person to blame. All she did was accepting an offer that was rather alluring, after all. They let her decide of the price, why not make the most of it? It wouldn't change anything to her own credits. It wasn't a favor for the three girls but she wasn't responsible for other students, neither. And denunciation never been his type.

However, her comment had got another smile out of him. So this was how she saw her fellow classmates? He was going to make her change her mind.

Rainbow Dash hurried to stuff her bag with the homeworks of her "clients", while chewing on the lollipop's stick, now devoid of its candy.

"I'm leaving, then... Hey, are you a smoker? I can sell you a packet for two dollars. It's a good deal."

She stretched out the packet she had just negotiated with the oldest student, shamelessly, although she knew he knew where her private little smuggling came from. He gently pushed her hand away and the packet with it.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

"Really? Shucks, I thought that would work. Well, no sweat. See you immediately in class."

"Yes."

He looked at her leaving her corner without the least apparent trace of remorse. Anyone would have been at least a little embarrassed but she hadn't. Not even for a second. The only thing that seemed to upset her was that he could have witnessed her schemes. And even this... Her annoyed face hadn't last that long. Her nerves towards him was a proof of how nothing seemed to unsettle her.

Rainbow Dash was a girl like he had never met before. She was playing with the big boys. Sometimes, almost childish, sometimes too much of a woman. She intrigued him beyond reason, always tickling his curiosity a bit more in a way that was different and new. It should have scared him but that wasn't the case. The more he discovered things about her, the more he wanted to know, to tear off the layers of paint to see what was really hiding under all the tricks. To be able to see her true face. The naked truth, as things really were.

***

"They say teenagers have things to say and only want to be heard. They want to speak, to express their opinions. I'd like to see that! I know no one of my age with a real desire to give their point of view about life. Yes, I'm not friends with people my age but that's the point. Let's take the three girls who I have to do homeworks for. An essay is a chance to finally tell the world how you feel. And instead of taking it, what do they do? They ask me to do the dirty work for them. Good example, congratulations! Where are all those revolutionaries gone, ready to fight in order to defend democracies and freedom of speech? They're now housewives and office workers asking us to be monochrome, good little soldiers in uniforms, ready to follow to the letter everything they're stuffing their heads with.

This is why we are a lost cause. How could we learn to express ourselves in a society that want us to be sheep, to have no other ambitions than cleaning houses, cooking and changing diapers? Of course, they'd rather want me to be their indentured slaves than trying to break the molds. Although Crystal Prep pretends what they want is to give us a place in said society, in the end, they're expecting us the become a window for everything conservative.

So, instead of saying what's their opinions about a topic, they delegate. Take action, we'll only duplicate your thoughts. Following traditions is always more comfortable than trying to make things change. I can figure out they have much more interesting things to do than discoursing... Hitting on silly Teddy Boys, hanging around in dinners, shopping with their parents' money.

Does it really matter? Does it really matter when you have the chance to live without being aware of how elusive things are?

They probably are thinking that just because I got ease, I have nothing else to do with my time than discoursing. Maybe they even envy my intellectual abilities. But don't fool yourself with illusions, sweeties! Nothing ever comes from above. Of course, it's easier for me to be on top but it's not a work of magic. I have to think, too. And I have to do things at least one time before I'm able to do them again. Miracles don't exist in real life, do they realize? Absolutely not. Yes, it's not a favor. If I were trying to do them a favor, we'd know. I don't really care about my own life so why would I have to care about theirs? I only do it for the money and because it helps me to fight boredom, as often.

I don't see why I should worry about the good or the bad consequences of my own decisions. The others don't give s**t about me, after all. When they do, it's because they want something. All the time. I never knew anyone who sincerely wanted to help me.

Well, in fact, there is. There's Applejack and Vinyl but it's different. We're bound to one another by death and tragedy. Except from them, even Windy doesn't really care about what I feel or go through. Or she would have noticed. But she doesn't and what happens in her own house is foreign to her.

As for the others... Apart from freak of intelligence, of the b*tch who never smiles and has rainbow hair, I'm nothing for them. Barely one more mean of entertainment, nothing else. When they'll be tried of talking behind my back, they would move on to something else. No one will care about me anymore. Thus, I'll disappear and nothing could testify for me that I've been a human being, thinking and breathing. It would be as if Rainbow Dash had been nothing but an illusion vanished away with the light of the sun.

The only nights when I know I'm alive are nights of pain, with a ferrous taste of blood.

I'm tired of everything...

Perfect to You

"It's one in the morning.

I really wasn't expecing it. I was all alone and thought it was going to be this way all the time. Windy told nothing to me. Nothing at all. Usually, she warns me and I'm prepared. I know it's going to happen. Inevitably. But this time, she probably forgot. How could someone be so irresponsible? I think I'll never understand her.

IOnce again, he waited for me to go to bed. It shouldn't hurt me anymore. But it does. Are we nothing but marionettes? Ragdolls that can go through everything with no consequences? As if there were no substance inside of us. No soul.

Also he should have grown weary with time. There's nothing more to steal. I don't need this to be aware that I'm a decaying wreck. In these moments I know I am not strong. I'm only pretending. If I really were strong, I would have found the courage to make it stop. I would have taken the bull by the horns and face my demons. If I don't do that it's because, in fact, I'm nothing but vulnerability. I'm protecting myself with arrogance. I've built walls between the world and myself. I know it, somehow... The world doesn't care.

Nights like this, even more than during any other nights, I wonder... Why am I staying? Why do I keep on hanging on to life? Everything seems to be so pointless. I've been repeated that each more day you take is a chance. I should know it more than anyone else. And yet, I don't understand what's pushing me to get out of my bed every morning, doing the things that I'm doing, killing time by any means. It's not as if I was expecting something. Or maybe am I expecting a good reason to live? Something, anything, that I could cling to. A lifeline to keep my head out of the water and to allow me to breath again, on top of my lungs. I say it but I'm not even looking. That's so pitiful.

If someone finds this diary, one day, I surely will sound like a poor little thing always complaining. And maybe that's what I am, deep down. All the same, I'm not asking for charity. It would be too much."

***

To take one step after another. Getting somewhere. To take one step after another. Going somewhere.

His eyes still clouded from sleep, hands in his pockets, Soarin was walking unconvincingly in the corridors of the school, full of a vain restlessness. Cries of a simulated and exaggerated joy. He was making every move with a weariness that grew bigger and bigger. He made his way through his classroom but he couldn't see. Uniformity stinged his eyes, digging a deeper feeling of boredom. Though all the faces were different, in the end, the spirit of said faces seemed to be the echo of their clothes. Similar... Uniform thinking haunted them and they didn't even know.

Suddenly, one face... A presence that was different from the others, despite the clothes, still similar. Pretty much.

They all wore their summer uniform, short sleeves and no blazer, a jacket for those who were more sensitive to cold. Not her. Her soiled sneakers, one sock always higher than the other yet her hair shiny and freshly curled. A winter uniform on.

Their homeroom teacher was busy lecturing Rainbow Dash. Surely not for her nonchalant attitude nor her grades, since they had accommodates with this. It had to be because of the uniform. Appearances reigned as supreme masters in this universe. She looked down, pretending not to hear the reproaches yet she took them with a demeanor... something almost melancholic. What a strange vision.

Reluctantly, he finally went past Rainbow Dash and stepped in his classroom. Sitting on a table, popular and loud boys were drinking cans of Coke, just like every morning. The smart girls gathered together to exchange notes, the Elvis fanclub was busy gossiping about their idols in front of a magazine. It was pointless, maybe, but at least they had found a piece of dream in the middle of the dark world... The princesses, with their Alice bands and their perfect hair, were talking about recipes and movies. Sunset Shimmer and her heterogeneous bunch of friends were planning their "after school" and weekend activities. Days went by, seemingly different, but they always were the same. Of a cold dreadful routine.

The bell rang. Sitting at his desk, his school supplies in front of him, he watched the students as they came in, patiently yet hypnotized, only expecting one person, though he wasn't sure why.

Rainbow Dash was the last one to enter the room.

She was fed up. Thrice a week, she was asked to come with her summer uniform. How important was it that she had long sleeves? Since she yield to wearing the same thing than the others though it deeply annoyed her, there should have been no problem.

The teacher started to write something on the blackboard and Rainbow Dash sighed. Here they went again... All the students started to stare at the blackboard, straightening their backs. Lovely little robots of discipline. She turned away, to look through the window. The endless sky, the white clouds moving slowly, the screams of girls in gym in the sports field... What for? She went back on Earth.

In front of her, only another back was slumped, ensconced in the back of his chair. He was also wearing his winter uniform but no one lectured him. Probably thanks to the advantages of its sex.

"How digusting!" she whispered for herself.

Yet she couldn't take her eyes off this back. Leaning against his chair, hands in his pocket, hair always styled in a quiff, he brought out something which reassured her, though she didn't understand why. This back made her want to snuggle against. Of all the other persons present in this room, he was the only one she felt close to, but the reason eluded her.

She wanted to touch his back, but didn't find a consistent logic to this move, she restrained herself by taking her book out of her bag. Their teacher was still talking and she listened while thinking of something else. Her mind had grasped everything, recording and digesting it and she didn't even have to make endeavors for that. The advantage of a superior intelligence.

"This assignment is of an extreme importance," he said in a clear and loud voice. "Thus, I'm expecting you to try your hardest. It is going to be a chance for you to show you're able to go to the depth of things. But also that you're able to work in group. It's essential for you, as in the future, you'll probably have coworkers."

A dull life of office worker, Soarin thought with irony. It was the best expecting those working the hardest. An endless renewal of boredom and little exciting routine. Yet, he knew, there had to be another way...

Their teacher kept on talking.

"This is why I'll ask you to work in a group of two for this project. Find someone who you would like to do this with, or else, I'll assign someone compulsory to you because you don't always get to choose your coworkers. You have the chance to do so and I advice you to make the most of it."

Quickly, a restlessness took place. Each was trying to get a partner. Group of girls were looking at each other, attempting to determine which of their friends to pick without upsetting the other. It was a little easier for boys.

In the middle of the racket, Soarin was feeling he wasn't wanted since he had no friends at all. But suddenly, he felt a hand against his shoulders, shaking him.

"Hey, good-looking!"

When her hand clasped around Soarin's shoulders, Rainbow Dash felt an awkward satisfaction taking over her. The excuse was too tempting, and anyway, she didn't want to end up with any brat, too glad to get the gifted girl in order to help them to have the best grades without a sweat.

Surprised, Soarin turned around but his face betrayed no emotion. Yet in his own stoical way, Rainbow Dash had been able to detect his astonishment. He straightened and turned in a twitchy manner. She smiled at him as he asked a nonchalant "what?".

"Do you want to work with me?"

"Why yeah. That could be great."

Without another word, he went back to his first position on the chair. Rainbow Dash's satisfied smile widened. For the first time in years, some kind of excitment that she couldn't explain took over her, just like everything about him.

No heart could be alone forever.

***

That day went on with the most dreadful slowness of the world. Even slower than the previous ones. During the first hour of class, Rainbow Dash proposed Soarin to work together for the History assignment. To be waiting for something... A strange sensation that Soarin had already forgotten. And so, each event of the day were like slackened by anticipation. The long hours of class: students at the blackboard, sounds of the chalk, pens tracing words, the clock's tik taks, everything going down like drops of honey.

During lunch break, he hoped she would speak to him but Rainbow Dash went outside, alone, just like she did every day. He didn't have the guts to follow her. On the afternoon classes, they went to the amphitheater. Slides about reptiles. Boring like hell, like the rest. And of a frightening slowness. Worst than the rest.

And finally, it was over. Soarin was putting his things away in his bag, an ever so huge weariness weighing about his shoulders like an avalanche of rocks falling over him. Behind him, echoed sounds of steps then a shadow stopped right in front of him. He looked up. Rainbow Dash.

"Shall we go?"

"Where?"

"I don't know. We have that assignment, you know..."

"You mean right now?"

"Yes..."

"I can't right now. I have baseball."

"So what? Don't go!"

"My father's going to kill me if I do that."

It finally was the moment he had been waiting for all day long with such a feeling of lassitude and it was already too late. She probably thought he was boring because he yielded to a demand from his father. He feared that now she wouldn't think he was much different than the rest of the human beings peopling their class. He got up and went down the steps of the amphitheater, sure she would never follow. But she followed. He didn't know that she was perfectly able to understand him.

"Is your father strict?"

"Yes, I believe he is."

"Too bad, then! I'm going to wait. I hate waiting but I will."

"Aren't you part of any club?"

Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. A school club? No way!

"Are you kidding? They don't want girls to take part in the cool sports like hockey or wrestling. I don't want to be a f*cking cheerleader!"

"I didn't know. Isn't there anything else you'd like to do?"

"Plenty. Only not in this school. They're too... conservative. Like the war never happened or anything and we're only good at baking cakes and sewing ball dresses. I'll be waiting for you outside, alright?"

"But it's one hour long. What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about me. See you in one hour!"

And she went away, running, leaving him here. Soarin didn't want to go to baseball now but he had to pretend he did.

During his practice, he thought about her freedom, about how she didn't weighed herself down with yielding to anyone's demands, about how she had a mind of her own. She followed her own rules in life and he seemed to have a lot to learn from someone like her, since he refused the mold determined for him by others while ceding to it, thinking there was no other way, enduring it all with weariness.

He went out one hour later, tired of running after his own boredom. Soarin was starting to wonder why he liked baseball so much until then. When you couldn't find a flavor in anything, what was the point of holding on? To know someone was waiting for him was a good reason.

In front of the school's gate, Rainbow Dash was waiting, sitting on the floor with her back against the red brick wall, a comic book in her hands. She now wore a pair of high-waist jeans, with a white shirt and a scarf tied around her neck, with her signature ballet flat shoes. Her skin was covered almost entirely, even dressed as a civilian teenager, even with the blooming warmth of Spring. Actually, how did she change clothes?

Seeing Soarin in front of her, she closed her comic book and put it away in her bag with a smile.

"You're no longer in uniform."

"Yes, I always bring clothes with me in my bag. Why do you think it's so big?"

"Shall we go to the library?"

"What?"

"For the assignment, you know."

Dusting invisible traces at her jeans, Rainbow Dash had a sardonic chuckle which surprised Soarin a lot. He didn't understand what was so funny about his words. Like he didn't know the girl in front of him yet.

"There's no way I'll go to the library. Let's go downtown Canterlot, I'm hungry."

She grabbed him by his uniform's sleeve and dragged him with her.

It wasn't a simple snack Rainbow Dash bought at the nearby grocery store but a whole feast. He didn't think she would have such an apetite. In reality, he didn't know a lot. But today who the real Rainbow Dash was started to be revealed before his eyes.

Deep inside, Soarin had always known there was a huge part of self-protection in her behavior but this intuition was turning into a certainty. The cold-shouldered and almost obnoxious young woman she was in school was nothing but a thick smokescreen. As soon as the cumbersome aura of school was far behind her, another face appeared. Of course, she didn't change at a hundred percent. In her behavior remained something unique and irreverent.

At the grocerie store's counter, the cashier, barely older than them, started to stutter as he told her the price and appeared clumsy when he gave back her change. Soarin looked, amused, how the young man followed her with her eyes as she walked towards the exit and still did when she was behind the window front.

The Olympia Park was a few miles away from Crystal Prep. Yet it was the first time Soarin stepped into this huge expanse of greenery in the heart of the city. To mock him, the rainbow-haired teenage girl advised him to get his nose out of his books on weekends. They were settled on the lawn and quickly, Rainbow Dash ended up scattering the content of her grocery's bag. This she couldn't do with her school supplies. In her bag there was nothing much except comic books, one single textbook, a fountain pen and a notebook covered with scribbled drawings with uncertain shapes.

"For the assignment, can you give me your notes? I'll start with it."

"Aren't we supposed to do it together?"

"Don't worry. I'm taking care of that."

Without further questions, he took his small notebook out of his bag and gave it to her. She stuffed it carelessly inside her own. And then, silence made its appearance...

Was it all there was to them? They couldn't have ran out of topics already.

Soarin turned to look at Rainbow Dash. Her lips weren't painted with red or pink yet her lashes were enhanced with black, like the outlines of her eyes. That was all for makeup. However, she kept on radiating something complicated and cheeky. When she didn't glare or stared at people with contempt, the cold aura floating about her turned into a sort of juvenile mischief. And when you looked a little closer, you could see something else... like a crack deep into her eyes.

Rainbow Dash was a puzzle he liked to try to piece together. It was so attractive.

Attraction... Soarin had never been attracted by anyone yet. Until she came his way.

"Do you believe in destiny?"

When she asked, she was smoking a cigarette, her eyes staring in front of her at a mother and her daughter trying out a small kite. Right before, there had been a long while of silence between them and Soarin almost jolted at the sound of her voice. She brought him back to reality.

It wasn't a bad thing, actually. The way he had been staring at her was nothing appropriate and he knew that. It all started when Rainbow Dash tied her long rainbow hair into a ponytail. Like hypnotized, he admired its soft and shiny texture. Naturally, his eyes deviated towards her nape, gracious and delicate, with a porcelain skin.

As for whether or not he believed in destiny, he wasn't quite sure of what to answer. It didn't matter much, because even before he could say anything, she did... Or at least, partially.

"It's nothing rational to believe in something like destiny. Thinking there's some kind of superior entity, up there, deciding for us and we have not grips on our own future. Everytime I think of this, I got chills down my spine. Because if that's so then this superior entity owes me some serious explanation."

If destinies were determined beforehand, she wondered why was she afflicted with so much pain along her yet short path. Nothing proved that things were going to change in the right way. It had never been the case until then.

"I think there are no unexplained events," he finally said. "What brings us here are the choices we make and the choices those around us make for us. No superior entity determines what we do beforehand. It all comes from us."

"Then, some people would better make better choices. Because it can bring consequences that aren't always good for the persons around."

She added nothing and only kept on staring at the mother and her daughter and the kite, exhaling puffs of smoke. They looked so happy. Rainbow Dash was envious. She wanted to be happy as well, one day, though she always repeated she didn't care much about her future. Secretly, she hoped things would change for her and soon, she would be able to leave the past behind. Once at university, always, she thought, once at university...

"In some Eastern culture, they think meetings never happen by chance. It's close to the soulmate myth but deeper... They say some persons are bound together by the red thread of destiny. Did you know?" she asked, looking at him and finally away from the mother and daughter.

"No, I didn't."

"Well, you should as well forget about it. The red thread of destiny. It sounds so sappy! And I sound sappy everytime I say that." Pause. "But it's true. Nothing can explain why we choose to go to someone in particular. Maybe there truly were persons who were meant to meet. What do you think?"

A strange certainty suddenly took over Soarin at that very moment. In his heart it seemed clear that, following this logic, Rainbow Dash and him were meant to meet.

"Well, I think you're right. But what if people you meet are also consequences of the choices you make?"

"Gosh, that's so unromantic!"

If there was something Soarin never thought he would hear from Rainbow Dash, it was romanticism. She had a way of seeing things that was rather rational and mature for her age, apart from her theories about how people met, theories he shared for a while. She looked so jaded by life, so full of uncertainties about what to do about it that he never thought the notion of romanticism would move her. And yet, it moved him. And he wasn't much more enthusiastic about what role he would play in the huge comedy of life.

***

"It seems like there's finally someone on Earth that I think is interesting. I mean, a lot of historical figures were interesting people, but never someone I had to rub shoulders with. All the more so everyday. All the more so at Crystal Prep.

His name is Soarin Skies. Yes, it's a boy. Just like me, he doesn't have any goal in life. He only prentends. This is already a good point. With him, I felt... good. I didn't feel as if I were some fair freak of intelligence. Just a human being. You can have real conversations with him. His mind is sharp and witty, I know it, I can feel it.

I can't wait for tomorrow, when we'll go downtown like today. Yes, I can't wait for something. Yes, I want to talk with someone. Another human being. Of flesh and blood. Of oxygene and thoughts. Because he knows how to think outside of the box, this too I know. I like him. This means it's possible for me to like someone. I've always thought I hated humanity. But I like someone. Call this a miracle."

Without a Reason

"I've lied. In reality, there are other persons that I like. Applejack, Vinyl. Usually, you call that friends. Are they my friends? I'm not too sure. They got something more and to be in their presence is nothing annoying to me. But I don't know if I can call them my friends. I don't know what's the real meaning of friendship.

And I have to confess something about Soarin. It's the first time something like this happens to me. I think he's handsome. There's harmony in his features. He's handsome like cherubs painted on the ceiling of European cathedrals and castles. No, not like this. Like a Botticcelli muse. Only as a boy. I'm sure someday, someone will write a poem about this face."

***

The day had changed its colors. Under the blue sky, everything seemed to be grey to Soarin but today, the light of the sun seemed to be almost dazzling. Life, insipid until then, now had a spicy flavor, like cinammon and apple. All this because Rainbow Dash... He knew she would be here. He knew there was a bond between them. This stupid red thread of destiny. It probably was true if he wanted to see her so bad, to know more about her so much. He never yearned for anything...

Tonight, they would probably come to the city together and they would talk. At the very thought of it, he wanted to smile. But he held himself back, not to stir up suspicions.

Yet nothing differed from yesterday. The sounds, the setting, walking through the crowded corridors, going into his classroom, where the same faces, the same uniforms were performing the same routine. The grey of boredom seemed to have transformed in a delicately radiant veil.

Soarin sat at his desk, as usually, hands in his pockets. He stared at the threshold with more insistance than the other days, when he was looking but he never really saw things. Like all that surrounded him. He could feel some kind of impatience inside of him, a mastered impatience. The type which brings chaos inside but is invisible to the naked eye.

Misty Fly, Trenderhoof, Indigo Zap, Sunburst... The first bell rang. All those who were still standing went to their desks, the others gradually went quiet, taking out their school supplies. First hour, mathematics. But Soarin kept on staring at the threshold, his neck straight but his back like anchored to the back of his chair. Already, he was losing hope. The light was colored with shades of grey. And she appeared.

Rainbow Dash, her hair in a ponytail, her winter uniform, her same old shoes - though today they were of an immaculate white, to the extent that the rays of the sun seemed to be reflected in the leather.

She slowly walked to her desk, behind Soarin, and smiled at him on her way. Their teacher arrived right behind her. Class was going to start. This smile was the only thing they exchanged during this first hour but it would remain engraved in Soarin's memory. The image kept on playing on his head, like a movie with only one scene repeated over and over again. And no weariness could spoil that. A wind of revolution was about to tear up the sky.

***

Today, she was particularly counterproductive. Her face leaning against her palm, almost lying on her desk, she scribbled uncertain geometrical shapes on her notebook, not even bothering to listen. Who had decided to start with mathematics? If they wanted to get her attention immediately, it was best to begin with literature, geography or civics. Topics in which she had things to learn. But mathematics, she knew by heart.

She deeply sighed and looked away to stare at the window. She had to find a way to keep her mind focused. The sun was shining brightly this morning. Too brightly for such a day. It should have been gloomy and dark. The sky should have been grey, full of low clouds ready to burst out at any moment. It should have translated the pain she felt since she opened up her eyes. It should have made everything as colorless as her heart.

Outside, there were students in the middle of a gym class. Their shouts were brought by the wind and pierced even through their teacher's loud and clear voice. She imagined she wasn't in this classroom, that she was free, at least by thoughts. She could picture herself drawing on the sports field's clay, with the huge white chalk they used to mark the ground, these undertain geometrical shapes that blackened her notebooks. The lines would come alive and have fun trapping the feet of those who dared coming by. The sky could get involved. She could see them, those wrathful skies suddenly turning as black as the night, while the rain damaged everything, crushing loudly against the windows but also against everything that was weak in this world. Just so she could hear the girls in gym screaming and laugh at the adults' powerlessness in front of such a disaster.

During long minutes, she remained this way, her face leaning against her palm, staring at the sky with an almost blessed look about her and this silly smile of spiritual enjoyment. How cruelty could be pleasant, sometimes, she thought.

This precise thought quickly turned her little fierce fantasy into a muffled anguish, bloodcurdling. How dared she have enjoyed cruelty? She rubbed shoulders with it too much, too often and too closely to know there was nothing funny or entertaining about it. Even thoughts like that couldn't be taken carelessly, on the pitch of fun.

All things considered, it was best to focus her attention on the class in order not to feel more blue than she already felt. Once again, Rainbow Dash deeply sighed, trying to concentrate and stare at the blackboard on which the teacher was writing formulas of mathematics.

Yet, quickly, her eyes were irremediably attracted by Soarin's back, with broad shoulders that had something comforting. She didn't need to force her imagination to know that this athletic body wasn't effortless to maintain. He probably was the kind of boy who never drank alcohol, who eat reasonably and ran in the morning. For sure, he was attractive. Denying it would be denying the obvious. But his back especially got Rainbow Dash's attention.

Maybe that was because, when she admired his back, she could forget about the traces of disarray he concealed inside of him. He probably could lie to himself but his body couldn't lie to her. A part of this boy was broken.

Although what affected them and had them broken was probably different, there was no doubt for Rainbow Dash that they both were feeling weariness with the same intensity. With the same affliction.

She wanted to enfold this back. There was some kind of tingling sensation in her hands; the desire to put her palms against his shoulder blades, to stroke the muscles, to feel it trembling under her fingers, to snuggle against him, cheeks against skin. Would her arm embrace him completely?

The bell announcing the end of the lesson resounded and got her out of her daydreams. Hardely, she tried to conceal her turmoil and not to blush. What happened? It wasn't her kind to let herself go to such thoughts. Fantasies were for other girls, sappy ones. When her own mind wandered into unknown spheres, it was to imagine the rumble of the sky. It wasn't like her. Or it was a side of herself that she didn't know yet and that she wasn't sure she would like.

She swore she would never do it again, neither daydreaming of her classmate's back neither imagining cruel stories that would happen to the girls in gym. Although deep inside, she knew - she would never be able not to do one or the other thing.

***

"I never thought I would write that often in here. I'm not the type of girl to have a diary but I heard writing about things could help. Words are supposed to be a therapy. So, I've decided I'll write often, since I hate psychiatrists and I've made up my mind about ceasing to go on with the flow and to start swimming in the sense of the current, finally.

I don't mean I'm going to be another person. I can only be myself. I mean I accept to look in front of me instead of always looking behind my back. What's done can't be undone, anyway. And I'm not the one to change anything that can't be undone. I may be a gifted girl but I'm no miracle maker. Let's stay in the real world.

There's only one thing that's able to replace the emptiness inside of me by something else. Though when it began, it was nothing but air. Little by little, air got thicker. A cloud appeared, bigger and bigger and grey. Then it burst, everything charged up with rain and slowly, the water drifted. It became a trail, a river, a sean, an ocean, it beached on the sand and sand took its place. And so forth.

Well, it's not exactly something. It's someone. At first, I thought it was simply because of that stupid History assignment that helped me to focus on something else but it the end, it feels good. I started to think things through. Despite the horror of my situation, what forces me to tread water while looking at my navel? Nothing at all. Why I in particular would have nothing in front of me than a huge sterile space called the future? It would mean given myself too much importance. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it hurts when it happens. That shouldn't stop me. So I've decided I was going to get things started. Let's see what's in store. It's now. If you don't do anything, nothing changes. And I want things to change.

But I'm getting lost here.

Fine. I was talking about someone. I don't know how it happened, I know nothing about the mechanism of human relationships. I've always been a dummy about that topic. It's a wonder how I have maintained a relationship with AJ, Vinyl and Big Mac. I'm no fool, I know they're the one keeping in touch. I could hardly understand why. I'm not nice and I'm not very empathic. If I were anyone else, even myself wouldn't want to be friends with me, despite how awesome I think I am. I know, it's all about me again. This is a diary, isn't it? It means it has to be all about me.

Though right now, I'd like to speak about somebody else. Soarin. How can I put that? Remember when I said how handsome he was? Well, I've discovered something else by dint of being with him. The outside is breathtaking but the inside is dysfunctional. A bit like me, even if we're not functioning the same way. We know we're dysfunctional and we conceal it in a manner that's our own, I with contempt, him with nonchalance. This is what made me want to get to him so much.

Each time we're talking, I'm feeling closer to him than I've ever been to anyone. The more we talk, the more I discover his fragility behind his bore, the intelligent mind behind the sloppiness, the thirst of passion behind the neutrality. And I like it. I was likely to feel connected with no one, not even with my own "friends", unable to give without a compensation or at least I gave the minimum, and now I'm feeling close to someone. Someone who probably don't seem to be but who's like me, deep inside. My deepest me, not the lazy show off, of course. This is only the tip of the iceberg."

***

By the end of the first class, when the bell rang, Rainbow Dash took a thick stack of paper out of her bag and walked to Soarin's desk. He seemed to be slouched in his chair even more than usually. His hair in a quiff was shiny like the skies of his name. She sat down a corner of the desk and put the stack in front of him.

"What's this?" Soarin asked with surprise.

"Our History assignment. I told you I would take care of it."

"What? But I haven't written a line."

"Of course, you did. Look!"

She took the papers gathered with a staple and opened it in the middle.

"Here, for example, these are your notes, with your own words. I was bored so I've stolen the family typewriter and I've written our assignment with our respective notes. Now I'm feeling sleepy, by the by."

Soarin took the stack she gave him and frowned in order to observe the letters typewritten on the paper. He recognized his own compositions. Some kind of frustration clenched around his guts. If their History assignment was done, how would they see each other, talk to each other? It was like a bridge between them, allowing them to learn more about each other as the sessions flew by, but now the bridge had burned, crushed by the young gifted girl's chronic boredom.

"While you'll be at baseball, I'll take a nap at the library so I'll be in perfect shape when you'll go downtown. Does that bother you?"

"What? That you're going to the library to sleep?"

He heard her laugh for the first time. This small chuckle, like a gasp, with a closed mouth and her brows slightly forrowing. It was pretty.

"To go downtown with me after baseball even if the assignment is done. And does it bother you, also, for the assignment?" -

"Nope. Everything's okay," he said, shrugging.

Soarin acted nonchalant as always. He thought he could do that since the bridge between them was still here. When she smiled again, he tried to hide his confusion. This smile would replace the other one in his mind. It would be his motor for the next hours of class, his sweet obsession.

"It's perfect, then. Do you want to keep the papers?"

"Yes, I'm going to take a look at it. It would be a shame, if questioned about it, that I wouldn't know what to answer because I wouldn't have at least read it."

"Seems legit."

He especially could picture the consequences of something like that with his father. He thought working was the ultimate priority and his children had to be the best among the bests. The good grade and good rank at exams dictatorship reigned supreme at his house and this, from childhood. Even Muffin, his little sister still in Middle School, suffered from it.

A new hour of class began. History. Overdose of dates. Rainbow Dash was noting them down absent-mindedly. It wouldn't take more than one hour for her to memorize them. Eventually, she couldn't help but let her mind rambling. When she was lost in her contemplation of Soarin's back, she had to stop moving and to catch up on the dates she missed. Events of a war were explained... "Soarin's hair really is shiny. I like the way it sticks out from behind." French. Translation of a text. "Easy! Thank you Grandpa for teaching French to me when I was very young" ; "Soarin spends more time writing. Is he good or bad in French? When he writes, muscles of his back stretches, his shoulder blade make a light move, I can hear the sound of his jacket rubbing the cotton of the shirt." End of the class. End of the morning. Lunch break.

Rainbow Dash usually ate outside, in the schoolyard, in order to make the most of the sun. She would take her lunchbox with her and left without a word or a look, her bag neglectly hanging on her shoulder by one single strap.

And so, Soarin was surprised when she stood in front of him, putting her lunchbox on the table. She pulled her chair, which loudly creak against the floor and sat down. He looked at her doing so with eyes wide opened, this time unable to remain impassive.

"Bon appétit!" she gleefully stroke up while opening the lid of her box.

It was a red and black laquered box, like they sometimes gave away in luxurious Asian restaurants. Since he was still staring at her with a flabbergasted look, Rainbow Dash called out to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I... Don't you eat outside usually?"

"I do but the weather's a little too hot today. You want to eat alone, don't you?"

"Not at all," he said, suddenly embarrassed, slightly shaking his head.

Rainbow Dash looked with attention the lock of his hair, still impeccably eye-cathing, delicately moving on his head. It felt as if her mouthful of colesaw and chicken sandwich suddenly was delicious.

"It's just that... I'm surprised, that's all."

He opened his own box.

"If the weather's too hot, take off your blazer. You got a long-sleeved shirt, anyway."

"True, I could have done that. But it's baby blue. Imagine someone throws water at me."

"Then, you'll be freshened up."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be."

While chewing on her food, her eyes turned mysterious, staring at an invisible spot on Soarin's desk. These eyes which he could hardly decipher baffled him, and he wondered how a simple theory about clothes and heat could lead to that look. He shrugged.

"Why would someone throw water on you? There are very few chances for it to happen."

"Maybe. But it's too late now, anyway."

Soarin approved with a nod. Silence then appeared. In the middle of the classroom's hubbub, of meaningless and childish conversations, their silence seemed to be resounding even louder. Surreptitiously, one glance at the other from time to time, ponctuated with slight yet frank smiles. This silence had nothing oppressive. It was so natural it sounded scary, as if their presence was the only essential ingredient to their harmony.

Suddenly, someone from the outside came and disturbed this muffled serenity that softly crept in between them.

Sunburst, a boy from the chemisty club, tall and tanned, with ginger hair in the fashionable quiff stood in front of their desk.

"Hey, Dash!"

He only have called Rainbow Dash yet they both looked up at the same time with a neutral expression.

"Weren't you at White Park Mall this weekend?"

"Yeah with my stepmom."

Rainbow Dash hated when her stepmother claimed they had to spend a girls day out but she always followed anyway, just to please her. Generally, Windy shopped like some teenage girl, and spoke about anything that was on her mind. Rainbow Dash answered nodding or by "uh uh" and never really listened attentively. Her stepmother always came back with tons of bags in her hands and Rainbow Dash only bought coffees, or sometimes discs of Eartha Kitt or Nina Simone.

"Oh, so this was your stepmom. I actually wanted to ask you who was the person with you. Say, your stepmom's a knockout!"

"Yeah... Her plastic surgery worked well."

Her ironic and brusque tone didn't fail to call out to Soarin. He wasn't sure... Was she certain or was that only in order to move the nuisance away? If that was the case, her operation was a success. A few seconds later, Sunburst had already disappeared.

Rainbow Dash's appetite was ruined. She put her sandwich back in the box and pushed it further.

"Ah," she said, stretching herself out. "If only I could take a nap right now."

"You really enjoy napping, I've noticed."

"Well, in fact, I hate that but it's a good way of spending time. Don't think human beings could do so much more if they didn't need to sleep?"

"I've never thought about it."

"Well, do and you'll see. Sleep is useless. But I have to admit, when you're tired it feels good."

"True story."

While finishing his own sandwich, Soarin looked at Rainbow Dash out of the corner of his eyes. She was waiting for him to be done, swinging on her chair, apparently tired. He wondered why she looked so discouraged out of school and so free and lively once the gate behind her.

On the previous day, he read the information there was about each student of their class, as he brought the teacher's notebook back in his office, that he had forgotten on his desk. He learned her stepmother's name was Windy Whistle and that they weren't related. He also learned her family was wealthy in the legal field, one of the country's most powerful. But he knew nothing more, and nothing about their relationship or their bond, if there was a bond. Curiosity might be arousing him from inside, he didn't want to give in.

It was useless... His eyes spoke for him.

"Yeah, Windy and I don't have the perfect mother/daughter relationship described in the books."

"I haven't said a thing."

"You don't need to. Your eyes are more expressive than you think. It's because of their green... Everything reflects in the green."

"Hearing you say that, I've wondered... well, I don't know where you are with that, if you know what I mean."

"I know. It wasn't ironic. So I tell you now. Things are rather cool between Windy and me. We have nothing in common except my father but I won't let her down or she'll be on her own. She's the only family I have."

It wasn't completely true. Windy Whistle had a son of a previous marriage. He would be here for his mother, surely. If some accident ocured, yes, he would oblige himself to rescue her. What was sure was that for now, he wasn't really interested by his mother. He only paid employees like the cleaning lady, gardeners, plumbers. And of course, he came to the house when she wasn't there. But of this, Rainbow Dash didn't want to think. It could ruin her day and her endeavors.

Thornes along the Green Stem

At the end of class, Rainbow Dash never took part in the cleaning chores. Instead, she isolated herself in the music room and spent all of her time playing guitar. She kept on writing songs for The Rainbooms, despite Applejack's absence. Actually, she soon was going to be back from the United States and this was finally good news in her dull life. It was one more support to help her going through high school years.

Many of her songs were disguised love songs about Soarin. About her waiting for him, about her craziest hopes. About memories they shared and the echo that resonated at the core of her very soul. About how afraid she was that he could have forgotten.

Rainbow Dash looked through the window. Fall was here now and the leaves of the maple trees were red and the branches of the cherry trees were naked. The rays of the sun felt cooler and cooler. Yet, when reflecting against the glasses of the room, it kept on adding a pleasant warmth to the desolate atmopshere.

Under that same sky, somewhere in Equestria, Soarin probably was looking at the same sun of Fall. When she heard the first prize of a mathematics contest was a trip to Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash decided to betray her promise never to give anything to CHS and took part in it. She hoped she would meet him there. She didn't know where the rest of his family lived but Cloudsdale was the huge city where he had been working on that infamous summer. So, she thought that maybe... But her wish hadn't been granted.

Weary, she breathed deeply and put down the guitar. Then, she grabbed her bag and left the room, with one last glance at the sky through the window.

***

It has been a gruelling day, Pinkie Pie thought as she emptied the bucket she used to clean the windows of her classroom. Why was she always assigned to this task? It was the most trying of them all. Traces of fingers and most particularly traces of raindrops seemed to be very difficult to erase, if not bluntly indelebile. She also had to climb on a chair in order to get to the highest ones and bore it with the fear that one of Starlight Glimmer's minions would go and try to kick it in order to make her fall.

She suddenly felt a presence behind her in the supply closet. It was as if she had guessed someone had thought about her... Some witches maneouvre. When she turned around, she discovered Starlight Glimmer herself, standing a few inches in front of her and glaring at her with her three foils in the background. She had her arms crossed and didn't move, only fire and flames were dancing in her blue irises. One of the girls closed the door.

Fear took over Pinkie Pie. She knew that situation. Girls who were lashing out on another girl. Was that going to happen to her today?

"What's wrong?" she dared to ask.

Unfolding her arms, Starlight Glimmer slapped her. It wasn't the same kind of slap than Rainbow Dash's. It was a mean slap, destined to hurt and not to get somebody straight. To be honest, it had achieved its goal. It was like her heart was bumping behind the swollen flesh of her face.

Pinkie Pie didn't know what she had done this time to incur Starlight Glimmer's wrath. It had been a rather ordinary day, as ordinary as could be the life of someone living with fear twenty four seven. She tried to defend herself but the two minions grabbed her arm and forced her to remain motionless. Since she was fighting, Starlight Glimmer punched her stomach and Pinkie curled up, feeling as if she had been crushed-up from inside.

"Hold her tight!"

Starlight Glimmer took Pinkie Pie's face in her hands, tightening the grip with all her might, so hard that she could feel the tip of her fingers into the bones of her jaw.

"I can't stand your slutty face anymore! Girls, don't you think Pinkie Pie looks like a girl posing for Playboy?"

"Indeed," one of them said while the other started to laugh hysterically.

Pinkie Pie tried to put as much rage as she could in the look she gave to her "conversation partner". She had no right to lash out on her this way, especially as she had never done anything to harm her. She even had been more than willing to become her friend, although she felt that something was off with this girl since the day she had started to pour out disdain at other persons.

"Do you think I'm impressed? You're nothing but a dirty little idiot! So disgusting. People like you are repelling me. But don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you now."

With her free hand, she plunged into the pocket of her frilly skirt and took out a lighter. She let Pinkie Pie's face go for a couple of seconds, before taking it back and tightening the grip so much the girl thought her bones would break under the pressure.

Fear was palpable in the eyes of the victim, the fear of what Starlight Glimmer wanted to do with that lighter. The girl had an insane smile, the orange flame dancing in front of her face in the dazzling darkness of the den. Pinkie Pie wanted to fight but the other two were still firmly holding her frame.

"Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to burn your muck of a face. This way, you will never dared showing it anywhere at all in the future."

**

Rainbow Dash was humming her favorite Connie Francis song, walking through the corridors and towards the exit. Others weren't done with their chores but she didn't mind much, eager to make the most of the sun and its slight warmth. When passing by the closet where the supplies for cleaning chores were put away, she could sense there was some kind of restlessness inside.

**

The flame came closer to Pinkie Pie's cheeks. She couldn't fight anymore. Starlight Glimmer's enchanting features were now altered by excitation. Pinkie Pie could feel the heat of fire against her skin. Without any other option left, she shut her eyes, ready to endure the pain...

But Starlight Glimmer abruptly let go her lighter. Her two partners of crime gasped from terror. Pinkie Pie opened her eyes.

Rainbow Dash had just struck Starlight Glimmer's head with a broomstick. The girl turned around, hate filling her lungs at the same time as her eyes.

"Why are you interfering, you show off?!"

And she pounced on Rainbow Dash in order to try to snatch the broom off her hands.

Pinkie Pie went blank for a second. She had just escaped something terrible and couldn't believe it yet. She touched her cheek, skeptical, with trembling hands. Everything seemed normal and the flame hadn't touched her. A sigh of relief went out of her lips before she suddenly took into account the scene in front of her eyes. Starlight Glimmer and her friends were fighting with Rainbow Dash.

An unknown strength took over her. She grabbed the empty bucket, put on the metal gate of the sink. And she covered the head of one of the girls with it. Pulling on the handle, she made her stumble back. She tried to do the same with the second girl. But instead, she hit her head with the metal. The girl collapsed agains the sink, feeling her throbbing skull.

In front of Starlight Glimmer, Rainbow Dash eventually was the winner. Her classmate was wobbling, blood on her lips. She didn't want to give up but her strength had left her.

"Rainbow Dash, you floozy, you won't take it with you!"

"Oh, really? What are you going to do? Obscene drawnings on my textbooks? Throwing my sandwiches in the garbage? Asking the others to ignore me? As if I were impressed!"

"I'm going to make sure you'll be expelled from school because you hit me! No College would want you, then! And you'll get no husband."

"Come on , do it so. I don't care about getting married. Do it and let's see what happens next."

Starlight had to resign and give up the fight. Rainbow Dash had a very powerful surrogate family and her grades were too valuable for the school, they would never send her away or they would have done it a long time ago already.

Yes, she had won for now. That didn't mean she was going to cross her arms and wait.

Along with her two foils, Starlight Glimmer left the room after she spat on the floor as a sign of defiance. As if that tasted like a threat to her, Rainbow Dash thought.

She turned to Pinkie Pie. The girl took her time but she eventually fighted as well. That was the least she could do.

"I am indebted to you, you can ask me anything you like."

"Don't get excited. I haven't done it for you, I would've done it for anybody else. I hate cowardice. If Starlight Glimmer has a problem, she has to deal with it on her own instead of using the others."

Pinkie Pie looked down. Of course, she didn't do it because she was the victim and she had been a fool to believe so. But then, she remembered and looked up again. She had to show her she was fighting.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash froze. Pinkie Pie saw her eyes opening wide. She touched her rib cage, as if she was looking for something and the look on her face was that of a child lost in a crowd of strangers. It took her quite some time to realize. Rainbow Dash always wore a necklace on which hung a man's ring. She never ever left it, even under the showers after gym.

She surely had lost it during the fights. It wasn't any necklace, but a very precious gift and it meant the world to her.

She got on her hands and knees. The floor was littered with dust and a foul smell escape from its crimson tiles, a smell of rot mixed with bleach. Rainbow Dash coughed loudly but didn't put an end to her quest.

Pinkie Pie turned on the light, then crouched to help her. This necklace surely was dear to her heart if she could put so much energy into finding it. Suddenly, she remembered what Starlight Glimmer told her on the very first day, that she had tried "to kill herself because of a boy". Was that true?

Under the shelf where the bottles of cleaning products were placed, Rainbow Dash finally had a glimpse of her necklace. She lied down the floor, stretched out her arms and groped around for it from the tip of her fingers. It was farther than she thought. So, she stretched out her arm even more and finally was able to get the band of the ring. But when she brought it back, her hand scraped a nail that stuck out of a plank of wood. The scratch cut her flesh but Rainbow Dash didn't mind. Yes, it hurt and blood had started to trickle but she didn't mind.

She hurried to put the necklace back around her neck. With the pictures and the films, it was all that remained from Soarin. She refused to lose this present, although it wasn't much valuable. It had the greatest of all value in her eyes, the value of the heart.

When she stood back, Pinkie Pie smiled at her. A delightful stupid smile, Rainbow Dash thought. Deep inside, she rather liked her... and she hated that! Without a word for her, she just left the room.

Now alone, Pinkie Pie replayed the scene on her mind. Maybe Starlight Glimmer was right. Rainbow Dash had been ready to hurt herself to get back this necklace. But she would never confess to her, that she finally understood. If that was the way thing had to be, so be it. She would try harder to make sure that, at least, she didn't hate her. It already was more than she could hope for.