Mr. Fairy Twinkle's Research Papers

by Timemaster

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3226

A graduate at the prestigious Ponyville University for Friendship and Magic Studies, he is directly underneath Twilight Sparkle. This is a collection of that weird stallion's research papers.

Equestria has long since passed the tumultuous period of abhorrent ignorance and naïve stupor that was the reign of Princess Celestia. Yes, she is still a beloved ruler, but now the brainpower and wisdom of the Esteemed Princess and Element of Magic, Princess Twilight, has caused Equestria to flourish not just in an economic sense, but in intelligence. Decades of pumping out the brightest scholars in the land has landed her the additional title of Grand Professor and, somewhat less kind, That Nerd Professor Princess of Harsh Grading. However, to her graduate students, she's known simply as Professor Sparkle.
One of those graduate students, a stallion called Fairy Twinkle, is an avid researcher and has pumped out many interesting findings even during his undergraduate days. However, after the optional class How to Defend against Dark Magic, this stallion has had much more … interesting experiments. This is a grand compilation of his many research papers and the reactions of those around the world.

Published 2018-10-09 14:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-09 14:30:01 UTC

CONSEQUENCES AND REACTIONS I

Canterlot, Equestria

Humming with power and grace, the magic field glittered and flowed around an old and decrepit building. Although the excited sounds of Canterlot can be heard outside of the field, once one goes inside all they could hear was the battering and smattering of machines and ink, the chatting and bustling of little ponies, and the rage and anger of one particular Pegasus. This Pegasus, pitch white and covered in little ink dots, angrily slams a research paper onto the table in front of other Pegasi. Quills and ink jumps up a little, but, happily, does not spill. Sighs of relief around the table give way to looks of anger as each pony reads the title.

"STOP THE PRESSES!" the stallion shouts in the room, louder than the machines, deafening the reading pegasi; but they do not care. The machines grind to a halt, leaving unprinted and half printed newspapers hanging all around.

One Pegasus in particular spits into a tin, "Artificial wings, huh? I knew it!"

Her wings flare up and she stands, "We are not going down without a fight. Those blasted unicorns have been trying to steal our jobs for generations!"

The other pegasi nod and look back towards the white Pegasus. He looks back and smiles, "So, any ideas on how to fight back, Lightweight?"

Lightweight the white Pegasus ponders for a moment, her hoof scratching her chin, "We could run articles about this paper and how the unicorns are right about to steal our jobs. We finally have proof, so even those blasted horn-lovers will have to understand!"

Everypony nodded in agreement and stared back at the white Pegasus, "Good idea, but we have to move fast. Start writing now!"

At the word of their boss, the Pegasi scatter to their positions. Quills scrape paper, chattering among writers erupts, and readers of the research paper spit and angrily argue for harsher words.

"No, no, no!" said a purple Pegasus in refined clothes, "We have to say 'darned unicorn liars' not the other word. Otherwise, we can not circulate without guard intervention, you idiots!"

…

"No!" shouted back an angry black Pegasus," This is far too important for their darned... damned rules!"

"I agree," said Lightweight, "we listened to the rules too long! They never helped us!"

The boss chimed in, "They help us stay afloat, you fools! Don't undermine the operation and get back to writing!"

Lightweight and the black Pegasus grumble a little and nod, setting the issue aside.

Another pitch white Pegasus, this time with a shield on his hind, quietly flies out the window and into the streets. Unlike the rest, he had no ink spots on him, nor did he partake in the cheers and jeers. Surprisingly, he escaped without arousing suspicion.

Also Canterlot, Equestria

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of Canterlot, there resided a large group of hooded ponies who were cheering while holding the same research paper.

"Finally!" said a bearded one, his voice dark and gravely,"those chicken wings are doomed now!"

He rolls down his hood with a gigantic grin coming from his pristine teeth while his horn sputters and putters, cute pink sparkles covering his white coat, "Come, my wings!"

A disgusting sound emanates from Torygg, his body appearing much more emaciated. However, he was smiling larger and larger, nearly to a maddening size. His sides exploded with new wings, large and menacing. The wings were larger than his body and his feathers were all sharp and still like blades.

His fellow unicorns gasp as he grows great wings, beautiful and strong. They start laughing with eachother and hugging. Some rub his mighty wings, admiring their sharpness and their immense inflexibility.

"These wings don't feelweak like normal wings, Grandmaster! They're awesome!" the youngest unicorn squeals.

Torygg laughs, "thank you, Little Spark!"

One mare clacks her hooves together, giggling, "Grandmaster Torygg, are you a Princess now?"

He scoffs with a grin, "No, but I'm now better than those damned chicken wings. Behold!"

He extends his wings and his wingspan is truly a sight to behold. Torygg awed his followers and turned around towards the window. Grandmaster Torygg opens a window to the outside of the spire and leaps from the window immediately. Torygg immediately tumbled towards the ground.

Iron Claw, Gryphonia

Slick and smooth stone walls, decorated with skulls and gold, the quiet and brightly illuminated lair was stirring slowly. Or, rather, one small griffon stirred while pulling a packet of paper out of his satchel. A pile of papers came out, the one on top being Twinkle's research paper.

A great and brooding griffon looks through his thick glasses and squawks in laughter. The guards around him were dead silent, staring straight ahead as per orders. The large griffon lays back into his chair, throwing the research paper into the trash bin with a sigh and a smile, "great, more flying meatsacks."

Grabbing the next paper, the griffon shakes once more, "Better hunting techniques? Hmmm..."

Canterlot Castle, Equestria

Her radiance emanates and dominates the air around her, but not in an aura of power. Her aura filled the hearts of her guards with pride and joy, her sweet smile hardening their wills. The hall was quiet as Celestia sorted through the numerous academic news pushed around.
Softly, the front doors of the hall open and a tall Pegasus trots out. Looking upon Princess Celestia, the little pony smiles, "Delivery from Ponyville University!"

Of course, this was just a formality, asked by Celestia herself. She giggles and levitates the packet of research papers towards herself. She heard her brightest student, and her brightest student, were doing an experiment like no other. She sorts through the papers until she comes upon what she sought and her smile faltered for a moment. The sun flickered, yet the room did not react. Reading further, Celestia sighs and smiles normally again, "My little ponies sure make my little life hard."

She puts down the paper and stands up,"Grovehind," she points to a more decorated guard, who acts surprised for a second, "increase your watch of the racialists. I fear they may be up to something."

"Yes, My Princess," Grovehind replies, his pitch white fur shining as his breath returns to normal, "I'll take my leave."

Princess Celestia nods and Grovehind leaves, noticeably sadder once he leaves the hall.

Celestia sits back down and flips through the other papers. Most deal with improving materials, new ways to cultivate hay, comparisons, but nothing concrete this month. She smiles and lays more comfortably on her bed-throne, saying quietly to herself, "At least the bat ponies won't be affected by this, Luna has enough to deal with."

She's a little embarrassed when her young advisor nods, thinking she was talking to him, "indeed, my Princess."

The hall turns back into a calm quiet as they waited for the Economists to arrive.

Author's Note

Spies, idiots, uncaring leaders, and very concerned leaders alike all share knowledge between one another. Perhaps not all understand that knowledge or read too deeply, for why else would they react so strangely?
Next time, the research paper will include more about the actual experiments! Show and don't tell, of course!

AN AEROTHERMODYNAMIC MODEL FOR "ARTIFICIAL WINGS". PART I. UNICORN SELF-MODIFICATION.

DAY #240

Inside a nearly pitch white room covered in purple posters, there is refined wooden furniture and sublime comforts for both the rear and the back alike. However, residing in this magnificent room is but a single pink gold unicorn who is hunched over while writing with a slight frown. His golden mane is long and curly and his thin black-rimmed glasses sit on his snout. His cutie mark, a broken beaker with sparkles flying out of it, is half covered due to his extra large cush for his tush.

The posters around the room were all of Princess Twilight sparkle and held many of her greatest quotes that this unicorn took to heart. The unicorn, his eyes without fire, looked at the posters one by one. One poster above desk reads "Eat Healthy, Play Healthy!", the one stapled onto the door says "Friendship is Magic! Don't be a mean pony!", one on the ceiling says "Colts and Fillies, you are all special", another on the ceiling says "Do not forget to study!", and, finally, the poster over the bed says "Dream High!". Each and every one of this posters ticks his smile up just a little, makes his eyes burn slightly brighter, and make his face look less tired. He popped his back and returned to his paper

Ponyville Journal of Grand Research
Copyright © 22Y3PE
[Original Draft]

AN AEROTHERMODYNAMIC MODEL FOR "ARTIFICIAL WINGS". PART I. UNICORN SELF-MODIFICATION.

Fairy Twinkle and Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow Center for Flight and Aerodynamics, Ponyville University, Ponyville

Abstract
The Rainbow Aerodynamic Model Comparison Test (RAMC) and Rainbow Aerodynamic Flight Test (RAFT) has been used to ensure the accurate comparisons between real wings and artificial wings. The Artificial Wings are created through Self-Transformation Magic (STM), for that is the only magic spell known to not interfere with the outer layer of magic. Although inefficient in magic use, the spell was chosen also because of the relative safety involved and the skill of the test subject. Three cases are modeled and tested in flight tests: (1) STM only of the magic around the body to resembling a Pegasus, (2) Modification of only the body to resemble that of Pegasi, and (3) Complete STM of the magic field and the body. Each model and test accounts for the difference in flight skill over time.

I. INTRODUCTION

Aerodynamic modelling and testing of various Pegasi wings has born a great idea within a great many unicorns where Self-Transformation Magic (STM) may, in fact, turn them into great fliers as well. However, nopony has provably crafted themselves a pair of wings flew faster than 0.2 Rainbows. The bones of a Pegasus are porous like a bird, but their magic field is there to compensate for the weight of their flesh. Or, at least, that is the main theory, for it is illegal to modify another pony's body for research purposes, even if they allow the researcher to do so. As such, the experiment is one that a unicorn subject, Fairy Twinkle, performs on himself. Although illegal in many parts of Equestria, itself, STM is legal in Ponyville. STM is not a form of illusion magic, like many believe, but an actual morphing of the body structure of the self. Every Ponyville law for safety was followed to the letter.
Now, Thermodynamics is....

A loud chuckle of "hehehe" came from a pink gold unicorn as he put down his quill. He got out of his chair and started prancing around the room lightly.

"Safety," said the unicorn, with a grin, "safety, safety, safety. Thank Twilight I managed to escape Canterlot's graduate school, all those stifling safety rules."

The unicorn gets up and walks over to a bookshelf and takes out a heavy looking book labelled "Da Rulez" with masking tape, obviously hiding the real title of The Canterlot Extensive Safety Protocol for Dark Arts. He chucked the book into the garbage bin and sighed, pulling out the much, much, smaller Ponyville University Code of Safety and Harmony.

The unicorn hugs the book tightly, smelling it a little, and sighed, "I'm so glad my Princess... Professor understood why harsh rules and science should not mix."

He pondered for a moment, before grabbing his tape recorder and popping in a cassette labeled DAY #232 WITH MY PRINCESS.

The pink gold unicorn puts the book gently away with his magic and sits back into his chair, remembering the good times he had with his professor during this particular research experience through the wonder that is his expansive mind.

click whrrrrrrr

DAY #232 WITH MY PRINCESS

clip clop clip

"Day number 232 with my princess begins in a few moments. My Princess has been pushing me to create more safety measures for my next experiment today, so I made sure to put an extra fire extinguisher," he smiled, "well, no, I just put the fire extinguisher in the closet on the table; but it should calm her nerves."

clip clop clip

"Wandering around the lab for hours is fun, especially after everypony left my team after the incident. Of course, My Princess would never leave her most loyal student, for I am too smart," he blushes, "but not as smart as her."

sigh

"I feel that, every time she comes, I embarrass myself in front of her. Perhaps, I am unlucky? Can luck be measured? Hmmm..."

KNOCK KNOCK

"Oh," exclaims a high pitched mare, "forgot how loud the door is, may I come in?"

"Of course M- Professor Twilight," the unicorn says, his tape recorder turned off and hidden in one of his lab coat pockets, "let me unlock it!"

He rushes to unlock the door, which has over 30 locks and 3 10 hoof steel bars.

"I'm glad," the unicorn began, "that 5 of these bars fell off last experiment, they are such a hassle!"

Twilight laughs on the other side lightly, "We wouldn't need them if the incident never happened, Fairy."

Fairy chuckles and he opens the door and welcomes Twilight in, "Well, I still swear that eyedropper was off."

Twilight wanders into the room, her lab coat a pristine white that contrasts with Fairy's soot covered lab coat. Twilight looks him up and down with a slightly worried smile, "Already began without me?"

"Of course," he replies, "I wouldn't want you to have to set up the Carbon Infuser, you're the professor after all."

She smiles, "Yeah, but I'm also your helper for this project," she ponders, "did you remember to set the Infuser to infuse?"

thwack click Fairy slaps the machine, with a strange clicking noise, "of course, this baby is going to make sure I grow the best wings possible," he smiles, "although, you could just magic me--"

Twilight sighs, "That's illegal, Fairy, even in Ponyville," she smiles, "although, I know you knew that."

He smiles and gets into position in front of the diffusor, "Of course I knew that you knew that I knew, you know?"

click
Fairy pauses the recording, his heart racing, "O-oh yeah... this was that day," he tapped his recorder on his desk and sighed, "b-but I'll make it through this time."

He smiles, "I can not forget one day I spent with My Princess, even if it was this day."

click whrrrrrrr

They both laughed heartily and Twilight got into position in the Emergency corner. She chirped, "I'm ready when you are!"

Fairy chirps back, "I am the Greatest (grad student) Researcher in all Equestria, I am always ready!"

Fairy uses his golden magic to press the button on the side of the Carbon Infuser, then switches to SMT magic to make his bones hollower and longer. Although he was, for a few moments, scared, soon his bones really did start feeling hollow. In fact, he started to feel very, very, light. So light, in fact, that he couldn't even think straight! Maybe that is why pegasi keep crashing? Hollow bones made them stuuuuupid?

"haAHAHAHAhahahahahahahAHHAHA," laughed Fairy, who was now missing his whole left front hoof, as he tumbled to the ground and jittered.

CRASH

Twilight smashes the diffusor and runs to cancel the magic coming from Fairy's horn and immediately administer aid, "FAIRY!?"

Twilight picks up Fairy with a grunt, "I-I am taking you to the hospital right away, don't worry! Stay awake! You're stronger than this, come on!"

…. fwwwwwwt fast forward

click wrrrrrrrr

Fairy started shifting in place a little, before a soft hoof is placed in his mane.

Twilight's soothing voice came into place, "...airy, I'm so glad you're awake. You're under anesthetic right now, but you'll be okay."

sob sob

"Pwofwessor Twiwight, Y-y..."

Twilight's chair creaks as she leans in, "Yes, Fairy?"

"I ownwy wanted fwends, why'd everypony weeve me?"

Twilight strokes Fairy's mane gently, "They just don't understand you, Fairy."

Fairy chokes up and starts crying harder, although his voice starts trailing off as the sleep finally kicks in, "Y-you're my ownwy fwen Twiwight…"

…

"I know, Fairy... and I always will be," she says with a kind voice. She strokes Fairy's head for a few minutes, before the tape runs out of space.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Fairy throws his recorder into its bin and jumps into his bed, screaming into the pillow, blushing deeply.

"NO NO NO STUPID STUPID STUPID NOOOOO"

It took about 2 days before Fairy would leave his room. Happily, he missed none of his classes or meetings that day due to it being the weekend.

DAY # 245 WITH MY PRINCESS, submission day

The room of Fairy was a complete mess. Rags and tissues, full of snot and tears, littered around his laundry bin and trash can, respectively. There now were 3 more posters of Twilight scattered around the room. Fairy was dressed up with a bandana, cleaning up with a small smile.

The unicorn vacuumed up his room while chanting things like, "Friendship is Magic~", "I am an idiot~", and "But also a genius~". For a while, he seemed at peace, until his alarm screamed at him. Yes, screamed, because the unicorn had set Twilight's scream as an alarm.

With a downtrodden and regretful look, this self-described stupid unicorn looks at the end of his research paper, placed on his still dirty desk. It has been a couple of days since he discovered the disheartening truth of DAY #232 (now known to him as incident #2). He sighs with great relief, knowing that at least his princess admitted she would always be his friend, but his cheeks still burned with embarrassment.

…

IV CONCLUSION

Although dangerous and horrifically inefficient, the third method of artificial wings described actually do perform at 0.5 Rainbows, a record for non-Pegasus flight speeds. However, if one is capable of such strenuous magic, it would be better suited for either enchanted items or for the user to use a teleportation spell. Additionally, the test subject made a quick recovery from a minor injury sustained during the experiment, so best take precaution if you are attempting this spell. The spell was also supported by a Carbon Infuser to ensure the test subject had enough carbon to create pristine feathers that were measured to be within 2 NanoFlutters of a perfect feather...

Fairy smiles a little, "thank Twilight my work was worth it."

Fairy runs to Professor Twilight's office once more to turn in his paper, his heart racing once he sees her radiance. They chit chat idly and laugh and, for a moment, Fairy forgets all about DAY #232...

But there is nopony on the planet that will forget the discoveries of these two unicorns.

Author's Note

This is something I made to practice for graduate papers while also enjoying myself. Of course, I don't write an entire research paper, because this is also a story. Hope you guys enjoy!

The next chapter will be the academic and national reaction to the paper created by Fairy and Twilight. The results will be shocking!