I have been able to help many ponies over the years. From Firebrand and Lightning Bliss to Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle. I have helped ponies overcome their fears and shortcomings; although I must admit I usually just guide them to the answers. Ponies have called me many things, to my comfort mostly good. I have gained the impression that ponies think that I have always had this wisdom. However, I can't say that I was always the wolf you see in front of you. I have learned many lessons, made more mistakes than I like to admit. One mistake has always stuck out to me because it has taught me many things the hard way.
I guess it started two months before Twilight Sparkle came to reside in Ponyville. I had recently gotten my degree in psychology. It was one of the proudest moments of my life, besides my wedding of course, but that is another story for another time. The graduation ceremony was in Canterlot. It took place in the courtyard of the castle. There were rows of chairs outside with two red carpets leading to the podium. The ceremony was for almost all forms of medical graduates. There were psychiatrists, neurosurgeons, and many other types of doctors there.
Princess Celestia gave a speech before Professor Heart Rate handed out the diplomas. I fondly remember walking down the carpet that leads to the steps leading to the podium. From there I could see my dear friends who have supported me throughout the years. Red Heart, Nursery Rhyme, and My brother Terric were in the front row. I remember Terric having to move to the back because he was blocking everyone's view.
I must admit I was quite nervous when I was on stage. It was a great comfort to me that I was not called to speak. I wasn't quite comfortable with speaking to large groups yet. Of course, that didn't keep me from being the focus of Pinky Pie's party, me being the only graduate from Ponyville. It was awkward explaining to Pinky that I wasn't a medical doctor, but we all got a good laugh out of it. I was happy, proud, and ready to help anyone; at least I thought I was. I was not the experienced wolf you see today. I had knowledge but I lacked the wisdom to apply it. I had my own flaws that would soon end up hurting me and others.
After the party, Terric showed me some of the things he collected during his recent travels. Some of the things that stuck out were a funny mask which he joked saying it almost had more fur on it than me, an old spear, and some rare stones that contained some magical energy. Most people wouldn't know that they contained magic unless they knew what to look for and where to look. Terric knew what to look for, so he knew about what property's they contained. Unfortunately, he didn't know any spells to use with them.
At first, it shocked me when I found out that one didn't need a horn to use magic, but then Terric explained that one would need specific artifacts or elements to use magic without a horn. At that point, it started to make sense to me, and I started to remember some of the things I read in that old library where I spent most of my life. Most of the things that I had read are forever lost in my subconscious, but one of the spells stuck out in my mind at the time. A spell that could let somebody travel through time.
I asked Terric before he left if I could study the stones. He always traveled light and he had no use for them so he said yes. I wonder what he would have said if I told him what I was going to do with them. I was going to wait until I had enough time to try the spell, but me just becoming the town's psychologist left me with few appointments and lots of free time. I started to think about how to try them, the ancient sites that one could visit. Then I remembered the old castle that I heard was in the Everfree forest. Ponies said that Celestia once lived there a thousand years ago, but I didn't know why she left. So that what where I would try the spell.
The walk to the castle was far from enjoyable. You could barely see fifteen feet in front of you on the path. The fog and general darkness made going off of the trail impossible. It wasn't the fog and dark that made the whole walk so frightening; it was the creatures that had me worried. I wasn't familiar with all of the creatures that lived in the Everfree forest, but I knew about one species that lived there, timber wolves. I was worried about going through the forest, but I guess the Timberwolves didn't take notice to me. Either that or they just saw me as just another wolf.
After a few hours of walking, I found myself at the old castle. There were many large holes in the walls, and large vines climbed what walls remained. Glass windows that one might have contained beautiful masterpieces were now shattered and faded. It was cold and uninviting. I decided to cast the spell outside the castle to avoid scaring anyone. I also didn't want to go inside those ruins.
Before I continue this story please don't ask me how I set up the spell, why I ended up in the time I did, or how the counterspell sent me to the exact time that I left. I don't want anyone else using that spell again. Well, that and I don't really remember it. Of course, many of you know from Twilight's experience that one could change history for the worst, but I learned that one could also cause history.
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The change of scenery was almost shocking. The thick clouds were replaced with a beautiful night sky, which was strange because it was day time when I left. The moon caught my attention because there was no face on it. It was a full white moon. The massive cluster of trees disappeared and was replaced by clear grassy fields. I could barely make out a small village in the distance. But the most astounding change I saw was the castle. Those corroded walls were now restored. The beautiful glass windows were filled with wonderful murals. Dull and gray walls were now pink and reflected the moonlight. I don't remember how long I looked at the beautiful sight, or how long I wondered about how well the spell worked. The possibilities raced through my mind once again in full force.
But then my mind was interrupted by a sharp voice. "Who are you, sir?" The loud voice caught me off guard. I turned around to see a tall alicorn mare. She had a dark blue coat and a mane that shown as the stars. After she saw me jump she spoke again with the same voice. "Please forgive us if we startled you."
I quickly regained my senses. "Oh, it's quite alright. I wasn't paying attention. My name is Dr. Wolf. What might your name be?"
She extended her hoof, still yelling in my face. "My name is Princess Luna. I must assume you are from a distant country."
It suddenly accorded to me that no one knew who I was here. I was a stranger in a strange situation. I didn't believe that it was a good idea to explain that I came from the future. So I decided to play along. "Well sort of, I am just passing through this area. And forgive me if I offend you, but is it really necessary to yell?”
She looked a little taken back. "This is the royal Canterlot voice."
I tried to explain myself as gently as possible "My apologies your highness, I was not aware of your culture here. But don't you think that you might wake up the other ponies?"
Her tone softened a bit. "Oh, yes! Ponies do need their sleep." I sensed a bit of tension in her voice. It was like she felt distant from other ponies. She quickly changed the subject. "Well, I suppose I should introduce you to my sister."
I was flattered. "Thank you. Who is your sister?"
"Her name is Princess Celestia"
That news came as a bit of a shock to me. I admit that my equestrian history was lacking, but Princess Celestia having a sister? I was sure that I would have at least heard of her.
Luna noticed my silence "Is something wrong physician?"
I knew I had to change the topic. "What... Oh, nothing. Also, I should tell you that I am a psychologist."
"A what???"
"I help ponies with emotional struggles and problems they're having."
"Oh! I see... Well, I know Celestia will love to meet you."
I started to notice a sarcastic tone whenever she brought up her sister. I started wondering if she had any problems getting along with her sister. I knew that siblings can have problems getting along with each other, but Celestia was a wise and kind-hearted leader. How could they have problems getting along? As she led me inside I was able to see more of the castle. The castle was amazing; it gave an open and welcoming feeling. Even now I remember the warm torches lighting the hallway; the long, soft carpets stretching across the floor; the many exquisite decorations lining the hallways. I could spend hours trying to describe the beautiful vases, pictures, artifacts, and other decorations.
I had to give Princess Luna my opinion about what I saw."This is amazing!"
"You should see the new Castle in Canterlot."
At that moment I realized that Celestia didn't meet me until the future. I started thinking about what would happen to me if she saw me before I met her. I quickly tried to back out politely."Uh, maybe now is not the best time."
"Don't worry, we are already here."
At that point, my heart started racing. Only then did I start thinking about the consequences of time travel. But it was too late. Luna was already knocking on the door and was using her royal voice again. "Sister? Sister! Are you awake?"
A soft, tired voice replied from behind the door. "I am now. What is it?"
"There is some... Uh, there is a traveler here, and I thought you would want to greet him."
"Can't you do anything by yourself?"
Those words shocked me more than finding out about Luna. Celestia wasn't the pony that we know her as today. She was different, not as mature and wise as we know her now. Of course, this was a thousand years ago.
Luna sounded agitated by her remark. "Well, you did tell me that you are the one who is supposed to greet the visitors."
"Well, I guess I am the princess."
"You are not the only princess here!"
"Not so loud!"
When I started to hear them argue I knew I had to step in. "E-excuse me, but I am only staying for a little while. I just need a place to stay for a few days."
I didn't plan on staying at all, but something nagged in my mind. The staying part slipped.
Luna took a deep breath before she spoke. "Well, I suppose there is plenty of room in of room in the castle."
"No! There is a meeting in a few days that I need to prepare for. I think that there's a library in the village that he can stay in."
"Fine!"
I was happy that they didn't start arguing again. Although I could see the anger in Luna's eyes.
As we walked back outside I thought I could try to talk to her and calm her down. "Well... I guess the meeting must be important."
She scoffed. "It's a party. She always talking and having fun with the other ponies while I deal with protecting Equestria at night. And she..."
She stopped; I could tell she was hurting.
I felt that she needed someone to talk to. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She chuckled a bit. "Forgive us Psychologist; it isn't something that you should worry about. Not that you could understand. "She whispered the last sentence, but I could still hear her. Before I could talk We were already at the door to a small building. "Well, here it is psychologist. I hope you will be comfortable here."
It was a small library. Definitely not like Twilight Sparkles. It was a cottage with a few bookshelves. A ladder led to the bedroom upstairs.
Luna had to duck to get inside. "I have heard it is a bit cramped in here Psychologist."
"I don't think that will be a problem with me your highness, and please call me Dr. Wolf."
"Well, we wish you a good night's rest."
"Thank you, princess."
She raised her eyes when I said princess. But then she nodded and left me. After meeting Luna many questions filled my head. Why haven't I heard of Luna before? Why were she and her sister arguing with each other? Why did I stay? I wasn't tired so I tried to think about anything about the castle that could give me any information. I looked out a small window in the room to look at the night sky and suddenly it hit me. When Terric and I were traveling a long time ago he told about the legend of Nightmare Moon. I thought it was an old pony’s tale but Terric told me otherwise. He said that the mare on the moon was her. And that one day she will return to reclaim her throne. It was impossible, but it was the only theory that made sense. I thought about leaving before anything could happen, but I couldn't. I made a promise to help ponies no matter what their problem was. But I couldn't tell her I was from the future for a large number of reasons. So I did what I thought was right. I decided to try and befriend her, to help her open up and let me help her. After all, you can't force someone to open up, even a princess.
I went outside and started looking for Luna. She wasn't hard to find. She was on top of the nearby cliff looking out of a telescope. I was nervous when I saw how high it was, but luckily there was a path leading up to her. It was an amazing sight. Just climbing up you could see far into the distance.
I didn't want to startle her so I made myself known. "Is it alright if I join you?"
Luna looked shocked and confused as she saw me walking towards her. "Dr. Wolf? I thought you would be asleep by now."
“I thought about it, but you looked like you could use some company."
"Well, um... Thank you. I will try not to use the royal Canterlot voice around you."
I sat down next to her "Don't worry about it. I do have to say that this is an amazing view."
"I suppose it is, but to watch over Equestria I have to watch it with great detail. That's why I use this." She motioned to her telescope. It wasn't like Twilight's but then again this is far in the past. "Not many ponies are awake at this hour. In fact..."
She stopped herself again. I started to guess that she might feel rejected, but I could tell she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
"Well, I am here if you want to talk about it."
“Is it strange for you? To be with people not like you?"
"Well, it took some getting used to but I have accepted it."
"If you don't mind our asking, what are your people like?"
"To be honest, I think I am the only one like me."
"I beg your pardon?"
I told her about how I was once a normal wolf. How my master turned me into who I was today.
Luna looked shocked. "I had no idea that was possible, where is your master?"
I lowered my head. It's a topic that I'm still not used to talking about. "Gone... He's gone."
Luna knew what I meant. "How could you deal with something like that?" Before I could answer a ray of sunlight hit my eyes. We turned to the castle to see Celestia raising the sun. Luna sighed as she lowered the moon. "I guess this is goodbye Doctor."
"Well, I will be in town for a few days. Do you want to meet tonight?"
She paused for a moment."I would like that"
"Well then, I'll see you tonight princess Luna."
She gave me a soft smile. "Thank you, Doctor."
For the next couple of weeks, I spent my nights talking with Luna who would sometimes leave to stop some monster. Although my days were spent studying and making sure that the crystals were ready for when I needed to return. I didn't worry about how much time passes because the reversal spell would take me to the exact moment I left. I talked to Luna about my friends and how I became who I was. Well, sort of. I had to change some details about my past to avoid revealing that I was from the future. Luna told me about how she arranged the stars, could see into ponies dreams, and stories about her past adventures with her sister, but whenever she brought up her sister she started to sigh. I always asked her if she wanted to talk about it but she would always brush it off. We started to become good friends with each other. Until one night which I can't forget and can't remember at the same time. My friends often tell me that I have the bad habit of working too hard and stretching myself too thin. My time in the past was no exception. Spending my nights with Luna and studying all day started to drain my energy. That night none of us talked at first. We were both staring at the night sky. That was when those few hours of sleep took its toil. I slowly started to doze off.
As I started to fall asleep I heard Luna speak these words. "Doctor, we have the feeling that we are not appreciated by any pony..."
That was all I heard before I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later and saw that I was alone. I instantly realized what I had done. She finally opened up to me and I wasn't awake. I tried telling myself that maybe she had to defend Equestria from something, or maybe she had an important meeting. I hoped that she would be back soon. But she didn't. For the next week, I kept running to the top of the hill hoping to find Luna, only to find no one there. The castle gates were locked at night, and I knew that I couldn't talk to Celestia. At the end of the week, I climbed to the top of the hill again.
I tried calling out to Luna once more. "Luna, I'm sorry! Please come back."
Words I repeated many times that week once again found no reply. I even waited until mid-day. As I fell to my knees and started to think about how I failed her I heard a noise that rattled the sky. I turned to the castle to see what it was. It was then that I saw the moon rise into the sky, blocking the sun. After moments of confusion, I saw a beam of energy blast a hole into the roof of the castle. Then I saw her, a tall pony with a black coat and a dark starry mane. All at once I knew it was Luna, or more accurately, Nightmare Moon. I watched as she fought with another alicorn I knew was Celestia. Large holes were blasted in the castle. Blinding beams of magic clashed with each other. I have rarely raised my voice, and when I do it was to get a groups attention.
That night, I screamed. "LUNA!!!"
I desperately cried out to her, trying to get her attention. "LUNA PLEASE!!! DON'T DO THIS!!!"
I didn't think they could hear me. I watched helplessly as Nightmare Moon shoot Celestia out of the sky. I saw the mad look in her eyes as she started laughing.
I screamed one last time. "PLEASE LUNA. I'M SORRY."
She took no notice of me. I saw Celestia emerge from the castle with the elements of harmony. I watched in awe and in horror as Nightmare Moon... as Luna was banished to the moon. It's an image that I still remember to this day. I saw as the mare on the moon took its shape. I saw the consequences of one mistake, my mistake. I starred at the moon in silence, until finally falling on my hands and knees, crying. I failed her, my friend, right when she needed me the most. I was the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't know how long I sat there, crying. I eventually realized that this could also be what caused the Everfree forest. So I ran back to the library, grabbed my stuff and ran back out. I started to get the spell ready to send me back. Before I activated it I took one last look at the castle. One last look of...
I'm sorry; this is hard for me to talk about. This was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. It hurt me in so many ways that I can't describe it. I guess talking about this brings back a few painful memories.
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When I returned to the present I didn't look at how everything changed back into the ruined state it was. I didn't worry about timber wolves or any other creature. I didn't talk to anyone when I returned to Ponyville. I just went to my house and rethought the last month in my mind. The mistakes I made going back in time. I vowed to myself that I would never use that spell again. I hid the stones I used for the spell, not that it made much difference, the magic was gone. I didn't discover that until a year later. During the next couple of months, I fell deep into depression. Those nights haunted my dreams. I wouldn't talk to my friends, I couldn't start my career in psychology, and I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't need to worry about money. I had a part-time job helping with ponies financials, but I lost all hope of ever helping other ponies. I was in the darkest point of my life, but then, everything changed.
The sun celebration came, along with a letter from Terric, saying that he missed the train and he wouldn't make it. I didn't care at the time. I couldn't say that I cared about anything at the time. I didn't plan on going to the celebration. Pinky Pie asked me if I wanted to go to a super awesome welcome to Ponyville party for a new pony, but I declined. I wasn't ready to move on. That night I tried telling myself that I was hurting myself. That I needed to move on. It's sometimes hard to convince yourself to get better. I decided to go to the Sun celebration. I was told that Celestia was going to be there this year. I would be late but I might have a bit of fun. I would see the sun being raised. I grabbed my vest and started for the town hall.
As I looked up at the moon I noticed something, the mare on the moon was gone. It was a clear white moon. The old pony’s tale suddenly shot through my mind. 1000 years. I started running to the town hall when I heard her voice. The voice of Nightmare Moon. My heart started racing. Many emotions filled my mind. Fear, panic, and regret: there was only one thing that I could do. I ran. All of my good judgment left me as I ran into the Everfree forest. I didn't take a path. All I could do was run. I soon became very lost, but I kept running. I must have run for hours, only slowing down to catch my breath. I was running from Nightmare Moon. I was running from my failures. Sadness, pain, anger, and fear was racing through my mind, and all directed to me. Those nights played in my head over and over again. How I fell asleep when she needed me. How I screamed as she fought with Celestia. How I failed her. How I failed myself. Tears filled my eyes as I closed them and kept running. I didn't see the cliff as I fell off it full speed. I tumbled down it for a minute until I came to rest at the bottom. I couldn't move. My body was in pain. My heart was exhausted. I had no energy physically, or emotionally. My vision faded until I passed out.
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I don't know how it happened but when I woke up I was in the Ponyville hospital. Red Heart and Nursery Rhyme were caring for my injuries.
Nursery Rhyme was the first to notice that I was awake. "Dr. Wolf, are you okay? We were so worried about you."
Red Heart grabbed her and pulled her back a bit. "Hold on Nursery, give him time to think. Do you know where you are?"
Even though my head felt like it was still spinning I had a pretty good guess. "Ponyville hospital? What happened?"
Red Heart pulled out a clipboard. "Someone took you here, we don't know who. Do you remember what happened?"
"No, not really." I lied to her. I remembered falling off the cliff, but I don't know who saved me. One would guess that it might have been the mane six or even Celestia, but they were busy dealing with Luna that night. It's a mystery that I still haven't solved.
Red Heart placed the quill down and proceeded to check my temperature. "Well, it looks like you fell off a cliff. You have a lot of cuts and your arm will be in a sling for a few weeks. But we also think that you caught some kind of disease that we still can’t identify."
I looked at a nearby mirror and saw the state I was in. My fur turned pail, I had dark bags under my eyes, and balls of sweat ran down my head.
I felt a soft hoof gently grab my hoof. I turned to see Nursery Rhyme giving me a concerned look. "Are you okay Dr. Wolf?"
At first, I thought Nursery Rhyme was talking about my sickness, but I saw what she meant. She saw that my heart was the true thing that was hurting. At that point, I couldn't do the one thing that I encourage others to do. I couldn't open myself up.
"I'm fine"
Nothing went right for the next few days. My disease got worse. I couldn't express any emotion. I was somewhat happy when I found out that Luna was freed by the elements of harmony. But it only served to remind me about how I couldn't help her. Red Heart and Nursery Rhyme tried talking with me, but I couldn't talk to them. A few ponies came in to try to cheer me up, but nothing helped. Some ponies and doctors wondered if I would recover.
One day I woke up from the nightmare I kept having when I heard a familiar voice. "Bad dream?" I turned to see Terric sitting in the corner of the room. "And before you ask, no. I didn't hit my head on the door."
I never pick on his height. But he wanted to cheer me up, and to be honest being there worked. "Terric, what are you doing here?"
He smiled as he walked over to me. "I heard what happened, so I came as soon as I could."
I slowly did what I could to sit up. "It's great to see you."
He placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's great to see you too. So what's eating at you?"
His sudden transition caught me off guard. "What?"
"Listen, you may think you can hide this from us, but I know what's going on. What's wrong?"
I turned away from him "It's nothing."
He sighed and took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Listen, what is it that you always tell me? You can only get better when you open up. No one's here. It's just between us. I know I’m not a psychologist, but let me try help you for once."
I knew he was right. I learned how to help people deal with their problems, but I can't help them if they won't talk to me. "I don't know where to start."
"The beginning sounds nice."
So I told him everything. About how I went back in time, and how I met Luna. It got hard when I got to the night I fell asleep.
Terric started filling in the blanks."So you feel like Nightmare Moon was your fault."
I couldn't hold back my emotions anymore. Tears rolled down my face as I continued. "It is my fault. If I had just stayed awake. If I didn't push myself too hard: I could have helped her."
Terric pulled me into a hug. "Wolf, you both made some bad decisions that night, but you did everything you could to help. She made a choice. You made a mistake. All we can do is try to learn from it. You can't let this stop you from helping ponies. You've accepted the blame, but now you need to forgive yourself."
I started to cry again. I needed to hear what my brother said. Sometimes when dealing with an issue you just need to hear comfort from the right person. Terric invited Red Heart and Nursery Rhyme in and we cried for a while. I thanked them for caring for me. After that, I started healing, physically and emotionally. I started giving help to ponies who came for help and advice. Doing what I know I wanted to do. But there was one pony I still needed to talk to.
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I started getting a few ponies that needed help for a while. Princess Celestia ended up sending Twilight Sparkle after the doll incident. I started making new friends among the community like Firebrand, Silver Quill, and many others. After a while, I got a request from Princess Celestia. She wanted to know about how I help ponies. I found it strange that she would ask me of all ponies. I haven't been a psychologist for long, but who was I to question a request from the princess. I started writing her on a regular basis. I told her how I find out what someone is dealing with and how I help ponies find solutions. I did hold to the policy of doctor/patent confidentiality. It went like that for about a year.
At nightmare night I found out that Luna was going to be there. I still wasn't ready to talk to her. I still carried the scars from that night. Luckily Terric invited me to meet a friend of his. I gladly accepted the invitation. I was trying to avoid Luna because I was afraid of facing her, afraid of what she thought of me. After nightmare night the requests from Celestia started changing. She started asking questions like how I was settling in Ponyville, or about the ponies I was helping, and other strange questions. I bet if my wife was around at the time she would start asking questions. The letters were never too personal but still begged questions. I still remember the last letter I have gotten concerning my life. It was a slow day and I had finished a session with Fluttershy when Twilight Sparkle came in.
I welcomed her in as always. "Ah, Miss Sparkle. How are you doing today?"
"Very well doctor, I didn't come here for a session. I actually came to deliver this."She handed me a scroll, one like the others that Princess Celestia would send me.
I didn't understand why I would be given a letter like this. "What is this about?"
"I don't know, I guess it is important if she wanted to use Spike to send it. All I know is that she didn't want me or Spike reading it. She just wanted you to read it."
"Well, I guess I'll soon find out. Thank you, Miss Sparkle. See you on Wednesday?"
"Of course. Thank you Dr. Wolf"
As she left my office I was left with a letter. I wondered why Celestia would send a letter like this; she sent me several letters through the Pony Express. What was so important that she would be so secretive? Well, there was only one way to find out. As I read the letter I was shocked. It didn't have her name on it, but it raised so many questions.
It read: Doctor Wolf, what happened when Nightmare Moon took over? I know you were there. Please tell me what happened. Please ask Spike to send the return letter.
I couldn't figure out how Celestia knew. I sat down as I looked at the letter with disbelief. The only thing that I knew was the fact that she knew about my time traveling and wanted answers. Slowly I grabbed a paper and pen and started writing. I explained how I used a spell to go back in time. Although at that moment I realized that I couldn't remember the spell. I went on to explain how I met Luna, and how I tried to help her. I wrote how I fell asleep the night she opened up to me, and how it was the biggest mistake I made. I wrote how I watched Nightmare Moon get banished to the moon. I wrote how sorry I was that I failed her sister, how she became a good friend and how I still regret my mistake. By the time I finished writing the letter, I saw that the sun was already setting. I grabbed a jacket and went to the library.
Spike was waiting for me by the door. "I was hoping you'd show. Twilight was getting a little..."
Before he could finish Twilight shoved him aside with frazzled hair and a crazed stare. "Dr. Wolf, I'm so glad you're here. What did it say? Was it about me? Does she still want me to be her pupil? Is she going to banish me?"
In spite of her asking questions faster than I could think I replied. "No Miss Sparkle. This has nothing to do with you. It's just a personal question. All I ask is for Spike to send this letter to Princess Celestia."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "The princess having a personal problem?"
Twilight nervously chuckled. "Of course not! She would never have a personal problem. Would she?"
I just handed Spike the letter. "Don't worry Miss Sparkle. Everything is fine. Thank you both. I hope you have a good night’s rest."
As I went back to my house those nights began going through my head. That scar began to haunt me again. That night I had a nightmare that haunted me for over a year. I would open my eyes to see Nightmare Moon and Celestia fighting. I would scream in vain until I just started crying saying that it was my fault.
But this time when I started crying I heard Luna's voice crying out. "I don't want to do this anymore. Please stop! Help me! Dr. Wolf! It's my fault! I'm sorry! Please, help! Dr. Wolf!!!"
After hearing that I woke up in a cold sweat. I still had those words in my mind. I never heard that in my dreams before. I decided to put on my bathrobe and go downstairs for a drink of water while I tried to figure out what was happening. As I reached for a glass I heard a knock on the door. I guessed that it might be someone mistaking me for a real doctor again. I got ready to open the door and direct them to the hospital. But I never could expect who I would see waiting at the door.
It was Luna standing at the door waiting silently for me."Uh, hello doctor, sorry if we woke you. M-may we come in?"
I stood in shock and silence; I didn't know that she found out that I was the same wolf from the past. I had no clue what to say. After a moment a few words escaped mouth. "Of course Princess Luna, come in. Um, would you like a cup of tea, or water, or coffee?"
"I'm fine. Uh, shall we go to your office?"
"Oh, um, okay."
I noticed a mix of the royal Canterlot voice and modern-day speaking from Luna, but she spoke softly. We walked into my office. I sat down in my chair and she sat on the couch. Once again silence filled the room.
Luna finally broke the silence. "We suppose you are wondering why we're here."
Only one conclusion came to my mind. "You know that I went back in time. That I was the same wolf from so long ago."
Luna nodded. "How long ago was it for you?"
"Almost a year, maybe more. I still can't forget those days."
"Neither can we."
"How did you know I was here, in this time?"
"You told us long ago that you were the only one of your kind. When sister told us about you there were only a few solutions to what happened. Of course, we thought that you might have just lived as long as we have. But we found out the truth."
I didn't ask how she found out. Either way, she had my explanation. I had already forgiven myself, but not completely. I had to face the friend I had hurt. The pony I had failed. "Luna... About that night. I-I-I."
Tears once more filled my eyes. I had to face what I had done. I couldn't find the words. As I hung my head in shame I suddenly felt warm hooves wrap around my body and a wet coat against my fur. My old friend broke down into tears. "I'm sorry. I am sorry for what I did to you."
I couldn't believe what Luna was saying. She was taking the blame for my mistake.
I tried to stop her. "No Luna! It was my fault. I should have..."
She interrupted me. "You did everything you could to help me. I let my pride blind me. I couldn't see how much you cared until it was too late. When I gave into Nightmare Moon I lost all control. I saw you on the hillside, I heard your screams. When I saw what I was doing I couldn't stop myself. I was screaming, doing everything I could to call for help, but Nightmare Moon completely took over my body."
I then realized that she had entered my dream. Luna wanted me to hear what she meant.
She continued. "I paid the price for my choice, but you paid to. I found out about the Everfree forest. I saw your dreams. How much you blamed yourself for what I did. I watched as you grew to help ponies and I wanted to do the same. I asked sister to ask you for advice. I found a use for a spell I didn't know how to use. But I couldn't face the friend I hurt. Can you please forgive me?"
I couldn't believe my ears. All the time I blamed myself she was blaming herself. Some would focus on the fact that she said I instead of us, but that wasn't important to me.
I knew what she needed to hear was what I needed from myself a year ago. "I forgive you, Luna. The only pony you still need forgiveness from is yourself. I blamed myself for so long when I thought I failed you. I had to forgive myself before I could heal. Can you forgive both of us for what happened that night?"
She hugged me again as more tears rolled down her face. At that moment I stopped carrying that burden from that night. I healed, and now Luna was healing. We talked throughout the night until I started getting tired. I tried to stop Luna from leaving but she didn't want me overworking myself again. That and she had her own duties.
As she flew off into the night I found myself thinking something that I always say to myself. "It's good to be helping"
Luna and I are still friends to this day. She has helped me in times of need and sometimes she asks me for advice, although we rarely are able to talk with each other. Her being a princess and all. But she did make it for my wedding. If there's anything that I have taken away from those nights long ago it's this. I am not perfect, and I believe no one is. We all have made mistakes and bad choices. But I believe that from our greatest mistakes we can learn our greatest lessons. I wouldn't be the wolf I am today if I hadn't learned from that fateful night long ago. I don't encourage others to look for mistakes, but when you fail, remember that your life isn't over. Forgive yourself, learn, and keep moving.
I am Dr. Wolf and as always, it's good to be helping.
Author's Note
This story was based on a song that Dr Wolf sang a few years ago. It hinted at a story about how he failed Luna the night she needed him the most.
