Chapter One: Dream
I was asleep, dreaming of the fictional land of Equestria as I had many times before. I was with Luna, which was very strange considering how most of my dreams had been of Pinkie and I giving Gummy a bath, anyway, I was with Princess Luna, and we were best friends. We had just set up a prank, and our target was one of the royal gaurds. The plan was to to drop a rubber chicken on his back, which would hopefully make him turn around to see what it was. Then, we would take a bucket of water and splash it on his face.
" I hope it works!" Luna said while holding the chicken with her magic. " Do you have the water ready?"
" Right here!" I said while holding up the bucket. " Ready?" Luna nodded her head. " Ok. 1,2,3, GO!" Luna dropped the chicken on the guard, trying as hard as she possibly could to hold in her giggles.
" WHO'S THERE? SHOW YOURSELF!" the guard yelled, turning around quickly. I splashed the water on him, and Luna and I laughed so hard that we could barely breath! I wished Rainbow Dash could have seen it! She would have laughed her plot off! The guard realized that it was just us, and he started to laugh, too. " Your Majesty, that was a very good one! I never thought that you knew shuch good pranks!"
" Actually, it wasnt my idea! It was Ocean's!" she said, pointing a hoof at me. I tried to hide behind my mane, I was a very shy pony ( I dont know why, but I'm always a pony in these dreams).
All of a sudden, the scene changed in my dream, and we were in Ponyville! I love it when I have Ponyville dreams! It's always so fun! I see that it must be a pony pet playdate, because Gummy is biting my left hoof, Tank is in his shell, Wynona is chasing Opal up a tree, Angel is demanding something from poor Fluttershy, and Owloyicious is on my back!
I look around to see who else is at the park. Of course, I see Derpy, eating a muffin. I also see the CMC (Cutie Mark Crusaders), Bon Bon and Lyra, Carrot Top, and Doctor Hooves, yelling.. at a... butterfly? Um... ok? Well, I decide to go sit and eat lunch with th Mane 6. Pinkie starts talking about something totally off topic, as usual. She says something about trees, gummy, staplers, and, as always, a party. I decided to ignore this and listen to the conversation between the other girls. They were talking about Doctor Hooves.
" I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT HE YELLED AT THE BUTTERFLY, THE BIRD, AND WORST OF ALL, THAT POOR, HELPLESS BABY SQUIRREL! I MEAN REALLY! HOW RUDE CAN SOMEPONIES BE?" yelled a suddenly outraged Fluttershy. This happened to scare the crap out of me, considering how I expected her to burst into tears just thinking about it.
" Now calm down sugar cube! He is just a might angry cause somepony gave him a rotten cupcacke," Applejack shot a look at Pinkie.
" THAT IS NO REASON TO BE MEAN TO HELPLESS CREATURES!" Fluttershy still wouldnt let it go. She was starting to scare me even more!
" FLUTTERSHY! GUESS WHAT!" Pinkie screamed, tackling Fluttershy.
" AAHHH! O-o-o-oh my! P-pinkie, c-could you p-please get off o-of me? I mean, i-if that's ok, because, I wouldn't want to force you to do anything, because that would be mean, and..." Fluttershy said, back to her quiet self.
" OOPSY! Sorry Fluttershy, I was just SOOOOO excited! Anyway, LOOK! He's apologizing to the animals!" Pinkie said, pointing a hoof at Doctor Whooves.
" Thank Celestia, I was starting to get REALLY angry! I mean, I thought i was going to explode!"
"OH NO! I ALMOST FORGOT!" Pinkie screamed, startling everypony. " TODAY IS GUMMY'S BATH DAY! OH WELL, i GOTTA GO! C'mon Gummy! Bye guys!" she bounced off saying la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
" Well, that's Pinkie Pie!" Twilight said. We all laughed.
" Oh! Hi guys! Do you want a muffin?" Derpy said, somehow appearing right in front of us. She held out a big plate filled with burnt muffins.
" Oh, hi Derpy. And um, no offense, but those muffins are totally burnt!" Rainbow said.
" I just dont know what went wrong!"
" That's what you say every time!"
" Ok! Well, do you wanna come eat with me? I'm fixing cereal for dinner!"
" Derpy, you always burn the cereal as well," Rarity said, being as polite as possible.
" Ok! Bye guys! I gotta go make some deliver some mail!" Derpy trotted off, running into a tree on the way.
" That Derpy sure is somethin, isn't she!" Applejack said.
" Yes, she is not the normal type of pony, that's for sure!" Rarity replied.
" She's not the normal type of pegasus either! That pony is CRAZY!" Rainbow said, rolloing her eyes.
" Don't be mean, Rainbow! We're all different!" Twilight said, shooting Rainbow Dash a look that said: Shut up!
" Oh my Luna! Are you serious?"
" Um... don't you mean oh my Cel-" she was cut off by my hoof in her mouth.
" TWILIGHT! LOOK!" I said, pointing my free hoof to the sky. There was the Royal Chariot carrying Princess Luna, the moon, and... Spongebob? I have the wierdest dreams! And then behind us was Big Mac making out with... a freaking CARROT?! What is up with my dreams? And then Princess Celestia is walking around saing la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la?! I AM SO CUNFUSED! Twilight spits out my hoof and sticks her muzzle in my mane and starts sniffing it! Then Rarity comes over and starts licking me!
All of a sudden, an anvil dropped on my head! " Oops! Sorry!" Derpy yelled from above me. She was dropping her mail deliverys again!
That was when I woke up, but instead of being in my bed, in my room, in my house, I was in the fictional land of Equestria...
Chapter 2: Confusion
"I have a TERRIBLE headache! Ugh! Oh my God! What happ- HOLY FREAKING CRAP!" I am now staring into the eyes of the famous (supposed to be fictional) TWILIGHT SPARKLE!
"Oh my! Everypony get back!" she says. I think I scared her.
"Twilight? Is that really you? And, am I, in PONYVILLE?"
"Um...yes. I am Twilight Sparkle. And, Hayden? Why are you so shocked? I mean, after all, we've known eachother for at least two weeks."
I can't believe it! How have we known eachother for two weeks? How does she even know my name? I never have my real name in my dreams! It's always Ocean or Sunset!
"Um, Hayden?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah. Um, well, I wasn't here when I went to sleep."
"I know, silly! You were at the park when SOMEPONY dropped an anvil on your head!
"I just don't know what went wrong!" said Derpy from somewhere outside.
"Just don't worry about it! Believe me, you're not the first! Now come on, lets go get you some fresh daisy sandwiches." I decide to let it go for now. Wait. I'm still a human, not a pony. I'm normally a pony in my dreams. Wierd. Anyway, I get up and follow Twilight into her kitchen. The daisy sandwiches are kinda good, surprisingly. "Ok, Hayden, today we get to re-shelve all of the books! OOOOO I'M SO EXCITED!"
"Awesome!" I replied, hoping to hide my sarcasm. But really, I am kinda excited. I mean, what better time to figure out what the buck I'm doing here! "Hey, um, Twilight? Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah! What do you wanna know?"
"Well, um, why is it not surprising to you that I'm not a pony?"
"Well, I was scared at first, but the-"
"TWILIIIIGHT!" screamed the yellow mare in the doorway. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! YOU TOLD DOCTOR WHOOVES ABOUT MY CRUSH ON HIM! I TRUSTED YOU!"
"Fluttershy?! What the hay are you talking about? I didn't even know you had a crush on the Doctor!"
"Oh, ok then. Sorry for interrupting. RAINBOW DASH! HOW COULD YOU?!" she yelled at the light blue pony flying by. Then she flew after her.
"Well, that was awkward." Twilight continued. "Anyway, I was scared at first but then the doctor examined you. He said you were dangerous, so he implanted a bomb inside of you that would erupt in two months, enough time for them to study you.
"WHAT!?"
