Theory and Practice

Chapters

Outset
Journey
Arrival
Revelation
Tempest
Evidence
Slumber
Progression
Sojurn
Burdens
Subterfuge
Nighttime

Outset

Moondancer frowned out the window at the scenery that sauntered casually past as the train wound its way southwest across the prairie. The rocking of the rail car had been enough to set off her motion sickness, and one of the few things that seemed to help settle her stomach was to gaze out at the horizon. Not that there's much else to see out there, she thought glumly, just miles and miles and miles of sagebrush, cactus and clouds.
This was not, strictly speaking, true. The southwest of Equestria was famous for its stunning landscapes. Indeed, the railway went out of its way to advertise the stunning vistas that passengers would see on the Ponyville-Appaloosa Line, from stunning painted cliffs to breathtaking water falls that fell into vast gorges, from snow capped mountains and broad, irregular mesas to the simplicity of a wide open plain. Indeed, many of the other passengers on the train had gushed and taken many pictures of the passing scenery, amazed at the variegated land that they passed through.
Moondancer, however, was too wrapped up in her troubles to properly appreciate the scenery around her. Sighing heavily, she used her magic to pull a sheaf of parchment from the saddlebags on the seat next to her, and re-read the letter that had started her on this journey, idly hoping that it would say something different than the last eight times she'd read it in the last two days.

My dear student, Moondancer,
I have followed your studies with great interest over these last few years. Your attention to detail, dedication to your studies and grasp of magic are arguably without parallel. With this in mind, I have decided that a pony of your talents is wasted in the Canterlot Library. Therefore, I am posting you to the Appaloosa Center for Applied and Theoretical Magic. It is there, I am sure, you will break plenty of new ground.
Enclosed within this letter you will find one train ticket to Appaloosa. I strongly encourage you to take the train the day after you receive this letter. I have already informed the Center that you will be arriving and they will have a representative at the station awaiting you.
I am also sure that you will make me proud. Looking forward to hearing about your success.
Please Keep in Touch,
Princess Celestia.

Moondancer felt a new wave of nausea come over her, and was sure it wasn't from motion sickness. Nevertheless, she used her magic to roll the letter up and stow it back into her bags and returned her attention to the scenery outside.
Banishment. That's what this is. I'm being Banished from everything. Celestia must want someone else to study in Canterlot. Otherwise, why would she send me to the backside of Nowhere? Moondancer fumed over her situation. She could see, objectively, why she wasn't a chosen darling of the Princesses. While other friends and colleagues of hers had managed to achieve some academic prominence....And Otherwise, she thought, and chastised herself for it...Moondancer had dedicated the majority of her young life to study in the Canterlot Royal Libraries. There were very few other ponies who knew as much magic as she did. She suspected that she'd forgotten more obscure theories and magical trivia than half of the students near Canterlot, and that was saying something.

And yet...Why send me all the way out here? I've HEARD of the Applied & Theoretical Magic Center, but did they have to locate it all the way out here? It's...it's simply abominable! She had chosen several other choice epithets for this particular journey. When it came right down to it, if she was being honest with herself, it was because she was a city filly at heart. Her parents lived in Canterlot, her grandparents lived in Canterlot, and she had left the magnificent city a hoof-full of times in her life. And now she was going to live out here in the desert for Celestia knew how long. Literally!

She growled under her breath as she fumed over her situation. Well, seeing as I AM stuck with this assignment, I might as well make the most of things. She tried to appreciate the landscape, but, as the most scenic sights on the trip were a few hundred miles behind her, she was stuck trying to admire miles and miles of barren, monotonous sagebrush, with only the excitement of a few stray cacti in irregular clumps to break up the routine. In the near distance, however, she could see Appaloosa growing nearer if she pressed her face up against the glass window. The relief flowed through her body. Her journey was nearly over. Maybe...Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. There's got to be plenty of work that needs doing at the Theoretical & Applied Magic Center. Maybe they really NEED a pony of my qualifications here! I could break new ground! I could be the next Starswirl the Bearded! She thought about that for a second, then frowned. Ok, but not BEARDED. Moondancer the Magnificent. Maybe that'll be what they'll call me.
She could feel the train start to slow as it approached the terminus. Now she could see the rough wood buildings of the town without straining her neck. Compared to the Canterlot that she'd grown up around, Appleoosa looked run down and shabby. More than half of the buildings didn't feature any paint at all, just simple, oiled wood, and there wasn't a paved street to be seen. Moreover, she could only see a hoof-ful of buildings taller than two stories. Despite her recent attempt at self motivation, she felt her spirits sink. If there's anything worthwhile that you could accomplish in this town, she thought, It'd be burning it down to the ground and then salting the ashes.

The Train, going ever slower, suddenly ground to a lurching halt which nearly sent her to the floor. Well. Here goes nothing she thought glumly as she rose to her hooves, magicked her saddlebags onto her back, and made for the exit. Whoop de frickin' doo...

*******

The Appaloosa Station platform was a chaotic bustle of noise and physical activity. Though it was late summer, there were still plenty of families arriving for vacation. Parents trying to give their foals a taste of what roughing it was like, Moondancer surmised as she made her way down the platform, her luggage floating in her magic behind her, looking for an obvious contact. It's probably someone academically minded she thought, dodging around a family of six who were fighting to get their bags onto a luggage trolley. If nothing else, hopefully I'll be able to spend some time discussing theory with intellectuals. Ponies who really know the most advanced, theoretical magic. As ponies gathered their things, the platform gradually became less crowded. Moondancer found herself standing at the center of the platform, looking left and right, trying to see if there was anyone who was obviously waiting for a new arrival. This was considerably difficult, as the departing crowds left a not insignificant dust cloud in their wake, one that was perpetuated by each new departure. She found the dust irritated her throat and found herself doubled over with a coughing fit.

Finally, the last of the other passengers had found their bearings, luggage and other contacts and left, allowing the dust cloud to settle. Moondancer adjusted her glasses, and found that there were only four other ponies at the station with her. One was the old station keeper, an earth pony who was sweeping up the rough wooden floorboards that made up the station platform. The other two weren't...what she was expecting.

One was a pegasus with a tan coat, blue mane and tail with reddish streaks in both, and pale freckles across his muzzle. He wore a pair of mirrored aviator shades and a black vest festooned with pockets. Curiously, his cutie mark was a fireball with a crossed crutch and lightning bolt below it. He noticed Moondancer noticing him, and then nudged his companion.
His companion was an earth pony, and, Moondancer noticed, startlingly handsome. He had a blonde mane and tail which both seemed artfully mussed, a pale yellow coat, bright and eager green eyes. and a single, bright, red apple for a cutie mark. He wore a buckskin vest and a matching brown stetson cowboy hat. The earth pony held a sign in one of his front hooves which read "Moondancer", and as she met his eyes, he doffed his stetson and held it to his chest in a sign of respect.

Moondancer was taken aback. True, the pair weren't quite what she was expecting. Neither of them looked academically inclined. But they must have clearly been expecting her, and they both stood by a fully laden wagon that was loaded high with things under a simple gray tarp. Too, both had the air of ponies that had been waiting around for a couple of hours. They're probably just as eager to finish as I am Moondancer thought as she trotted off the station platform and made her way over to the unlikely pair.
As she approached, the pegasus rose from his haunches where he'd been sitting. "I take it you're Moondancer?"
Moondancer nodded and said "Yes, I am..." She let her statement trail off, not quite sure what she was expecting from the pair.

The pegasus smiled and the earth pony grinned, and the latter of the two spoke. He had a distinctive drawling accent. "Well we shore are glad you came. I was just sayin to Snap here, I was, that if you wasn't on this here train, we'd best be findin' lodgings in town." He shook his head and placed his stetson back on it. "Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce ourselves. My name's Braeburn, and this feathered reprobate here is Snaproll." He extended a free hoof towards Moondancer and smiled, an expression that did funny things to Moondancer's stomach. "My name's Braeburn. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Moondancer."

Fearing another onset of motion sickness, Moondancer shook Braeburn's hoof with one of her own. "Good..." she frowned, then glanced at the sun before continuing. "Afternoon, gentlecolts. Yes, I am Moondancer. Am I supposed to be meeting you two?" She asked, with the hope that it wasn't. As handsome as Braeburn was and as stoic as Snaproll looked, neither of them, when you got right down to it, looked like scientists. Her hopes were dashed, however, when the pegasus spoke. "Yep, we're your welcoming committee. Well, minus one pony, but you'll meet up with him soon enough." He leaned in close and held up a hoof to cover his mouth. "Though, between you & me, you've met the best of the group anyway."
Braeburn snorted. "Now Snap, that's no way to talk about anypony." Braeburn shook his head, then gave Moondancer a friendly smile. "We're s'pposed to escort you back to the Center, Miss Moondancer. We was hopin' you was on that train there, on the account of the fact we was in town anyway to pick up supplies."
Moondancer felt her spirits sink, but some instinct caught something in Braeburn's speech that merited attention. "Supplies? What...sort of supplies?"
Snaproll spoke up. "Oh you know. The usual. Food. Drinks. Care packages from home. That sorta thing." As he spoke, the pegasus let his mirrored glasses slide down his muzzle so he could look over his glasses at Moondancer. His eyes, she noticed, were hazel, and had a mischievous glint to them, She barely had time to register this as the pegasus spoke. "Didn't anyone tell you the Center was a day's trot outside of Appaloosa?"

Moondancer's stomach, which had felt like it couldn't have dropped any further in the last two days, suddenly plummeted. "What? Why is that?"

Braeburn cleared his throat. "Well, Miss, 'cause the folk who started up the Center didn't want no sorta interference with their research. So they built the whole place a good day's trot away from civilization here so's they wouldn't have no interference from any other source o' magic."

It took Moondancer longer than she would care to admit to navigate her way through both of their statements. "So...what you two are saying is..." she took a deep breath, "We've got at least a day's journey ahead of us before I get to where I'm supposed to go."

The pegasus and the earth pony exchanged glances, then looked back at Moondancer and nodded in unison.
"Shore 'nuff."
"Pretty much, yeah"

This is all I need. To be saddled with a pair of idiots out here. I guess they must be hired help for the Center she thought to herself. She had to work hard to keep disappointment off of her face as she mulled over her current situation. Well, I'm in the arse side of nowhere, with two stallions for company, and at least a day's trot ahead of me. Wonderful. Simply Wonderful. Taking a deep breath, she looked back at Braeburn and Snaproll, who were looking at her quizzically.
"Well, colts" she said, with a deep breath, "If we've a day's trip ahead of us, we'd best get moving." She glanced at the wagon the two were leaning against. "Can I load my things here?" She asked, half in the process of lifting them with her magic on board.
Braeburn nodded as her luggage thudded over the other tarp covered goods the wagon held. "Shore nuff. That won't bother us none." He shrugged underneath one of the wagon's two yokes, nudging Snaproll as he did. The pegasus snorted in irritation before shrugging under the empty yoke and standing ready to start hauling.

Braeburn, standing closest to Moondancer, gave her a friendly bow and said "Okay Miss Moondancer, Y'all follow us and we'll get you there alright. We ain't goin too far this evenin'. " And with that, he set off at a trot, Snaproll struggling to keep pace next to the hardy earth pony.

Moondancer rolled her eyes and set off at a trot, wondering, not for the first time in the last two days, what she had gotten herself into.

Journey

Moondancer's funk continued as the trio trotted through town. The unicorn mare frowned at her surroundings as they trotted down Appaloosa's main street. As disgruntled as she was, Moondancer wasn't too absorbed in her own self pity to take note of the town around her.

True, compared to Canterlot, Appaloosa wasn't much to sniff at. There were scant few buildings over two stories tall, and the majority of those weren't finished with anything fancier than whitewash and gold lettering in the windows. That said, there was glass in every window, and lights were being lit in most buildings. There were even lights at the major intersections in town...all four of them. There were plenty of saloons and inns in the town, which she had expected, as well as a few mineral assay offices and supply stores. But, to her surprise, there were a surprising number of fashion boutiques, magical supply stores, and curio shops. It might be a small town, but it certainly looks like business is developing quickly out here, she thought to herself.

The population was not what she expected either. True, ponies of all varieties made up the vast majority of the beings she could see, but there was a surprising variety of others as well. The buffalo she expected, as she passed a few of the big-shouldered bison on the street, but she was surprised to see at least one store with a buffalo proprietor. She took note of one in particular where a pretty young buffalo was showing off a pair of turquoise earrings to an appreciative older mare.
As they passed a saloon, she could see a trio of gryffons out front having an animated discussion with a pair of diamond dogs. A pair of teenage dragons were being harangued by a bat-pony wearing a vest and a sheriff's badge. As they passed, Moondancer heard them protesting their innocence about a fire that had been started in the city limits. As they reached the outskirts of town, she was shocked to see a trio of hippogriffs conversing intently with an earth pony holding a set of blueprints. The quartet were standing in front of a half finished building that had the look of a future storefront.

"See anythin' you like?" Braeburn had turned his head to glance back at Moondancer, and she was startled to notice just how bright and open his green eyes were. "Um..." If she was being really honest, Moondancer was willing to bet all of her mane and most of her tail that she'd be able to find everything she could see in Appaloosa on one city block in Canterlot, but she decided it'd be best to be polite and honest as well. "Well...There's a lot more here than I expected."

Braeburn grinned at her comment. He had a very nice grin, Moondancer decided. "Oh shore, we're gettin' real cosmopolitan here." He nodded back at the hippogriffs as he spoke. "There's folk from all over Equestria movin' out thisaways, hopin' to set up a little slice o' life." As he spoke, they passed by a small and modest cemetary at the edge of town and before them stood, as far as Moondancer could tell, the wilderness.
"Jus' look around you!" Braeburn continued, gesturing with one hoof between steps as he and Snaproll hauled the wagon. "Plenty of fresh air and wide open skies. We're practically off the edge of the map here."

Moondancer wanted to say that she could have used a bit more civilization around her, thank you very much, but the bit about being off the edge of the map piqued her interest.
"I'd hardly say we're off the edge of the map. We're only a few hundred miles north east of San Deniegho, and few more hunded miles southeast of San Franciscolt and San Horseay."

Braeburn nodded, as if he'd expected this response. "Well, that's true 'nuff, Miss Moondancer. But somethin' my grandpappy told me when I was a young'un. Maps got edges on the inside of 'em too." He looked around him, surveying the surrounding landscape. "Shore, a cartographer back in Canterlot can draw a circle on the map and say 'This here's the Appaloosan Desert' an' leave it at that." He shook his head at that. "But there's so many different little nooks, gullies and whatnot out here. I've lived here all my life, and I know old ponies who've done the same. And they'd be the first to tell you that you could spend yore whole life lookin' out here and not find everythin' there is to see."

Moondancer opened her mouth to speak, then, thinking about what Braeburn said, shut it. He's right, she thought. It's the same thing with Canterlot, really. You can say a certain area is Canterlot, but that's hardly a substitute for knowing what parts of the city are safe, where the good restaurants are, where the libraries and other institutions are. And that thought led her to another, more uncomfortable thought.
I don't know how many atlasses or travelogues I read talking about other parts of Equus, she thought to herself, But I know it was a pretty good amount. I never thought I needed to leave the libraries to get all the knowledge I wanted...but is that really sufficient? Can you honestly lay claim to knowledge if you haven't gotten out there and experienced what you're studying firsthoof?

"Miss Moondancer? Are you alright?"
She suddenly realized that Braeburn was looking at her quizzically, and that her reverie had stretched from a brief Pause in Conversation to An Uncomfortable Silence. She cleared her throat to give her time to marshal a response, and said "I suppose that's true, now that I think about it." Braeburn gave her a smile and returned his attention to the trail. Moondancer was left to ponder the ramifications of her thoughts as they trotted further and further from Appaloosa.

*******

The trail they were following wound its way through hills and ridges, always to the west and, Moondancer perceived, gradually rising. She only noticed it after a few miles when she chanced to look behind them and could see Appaloosa proper sprawling below them. The sun dipped lower in the horizon, and she began to think that Braeburn's stetson and Snaproll's glasses served practical rather than asthetic purposes as she tried to keep the glare out of her eyes.

She first tried holding up a hoof to shade her eyes, but that was unsatisfactory as she couldn't keep up with the wagon. Then, she tried letting her glasses droop down her muzzle, so the top of the frames helped shield her eyes. This worked for a time, until she placed a hoof wrong in a divot in the trail and nearly crippled herself. Mercifully, the trail curved slightly to the north as the sun dipped lower, and they found themselves in the shadow of a low ridge of hills. This allowed her to catch back up with the two stallions pulling the wagon.

Being a studious observer, Moondancer started cataloging her surroundings. There was scant vegetation, unless you counted various forms of brush that stretched across the hills and plains as far as the eye could see. Here and there, there were patches of tiny yellow flowers, and patches of juniper bushes grew in places, providing a splash of dark green color against the pale green sage and golden cheat grass. The air was warm, as befit late summer in the high Appaloosan Desert, but Moondancer suspected that once the sun went down it would get very cold very quickly. More intriguing was the scents that assailed her nose. Everywhere she turned, there was the pleasing aroma of blended earthy sage and sharp juniper, underpinned by earth that had been baked under the hot sun. It isn't really ugly country, when you get down to it she thought to herself. At least the air is fresh.

Gradually, she found her gaze wandering over to Braeburn. The earth pony stallion was clearly in his element. Her eyes gazed over his brawny shoulders and haunches as he hauled the wagon. True, on his left, Snaproll was doing his fair share of pulling the wagon, but the difference between the two stallions couldn't be plainer. While Snaproll was pulling his weight, his coat shone with sweat and his ears drooped with the effort of pulling the wagon. Braeburn, however, was practically reveling in the simple physical labor. He had hardly broken a sweat, and his head was held high and proud as he pulled. He even, to Moondancer's amazement, found it within himself to whistle as he walked, as if this were a normal evening stroll and he wasn't pulling several hundred pounds of goods with another pony. He must be quite strong, she thought to herself as she trotted to Braeburn's right and slightly behind him.

Certainly, Moondancer considered herself an observant mare and had seen plenty of stallions of all shapes and sizes walking, running and, in the case of pegasi and bat ponies, flying throughout Canterlot. But she couldn't remember any pony she'd seen engaged in such an effortless display of physical prowess. She gradually realized that she was simply fascinated by the machinery of his body, and idly wondered if he would find it as easy to carry her along as he found the wagon.

"Miss Moondancer? Are you alright?"

Braeburn was looking at her, his expression concerned, as if he'd noticed a bouquet of flowers standing out of her forehead where her horn should be.
He caught me looking at him! HE CAUGHT ME LOOKING AT HIIIIIIIIIM!!! She screamed at herself internally as she fought to keep from blushing in embarrassment. Stalling for time, she shook her head and said, more snappish than she intended. "What? What is it?"

Braeburn's brows contracted, but he looked more concerned than irritated at her as he spoke. "Ah said, 'How are you holdin' up, Miss Moondancer?'"

She shook her head and said, brusquely "Fine. I'm fine." He arched an eyebrow, which sent an irrational spike of irritation through her. "Really! I'm fine!"

Braeburn unhitched himself from the wagon and turned, rummaging under the tarp in the wagon's bed for something. A second later, he grunted and hauled out a canteen of water, which he hoofed over to Moondancer. "Here miss, you'd better have a drink. It's a lot more arid out here than you might be used to."

He thinks I'm dehydrated! He didn't see me staring at him! She thought gleefully to herself as she used her magic to unscrew the top of the canteen and took a drink.

She had only intended to take a mouthful of water to satisfy propriety's sake, but the instant the cool, refreshing water cleared her lips, she found she couldn't help herself and, before she knew it, she'd drained half of the canteen, slopping water down her throat in a most un-mare-like display.

Snaproll, taking advantage of the temporary reprieve, had also retrieved a canteen from the wagon and was guzzling water even more greedily. The hard travel was wearing on the pegasus, and it showed. Braeburn, however, looked as fresh as if he'd just had a four hour nap. He gave Moondancer an inquisitive look as he said "Better, Miss Moondancer?"

She nodded, somewhat abashed at how much water she'd gotten down her turtleneck and her face, and said "Much, yes. Thank you, Braeburn."

He nodded, satisfied, and took a swig of water himself before he replaced the canteen in the wagon. "Not much longer now. We're only a mile or so away from camp." With a nod at Snaproll, the two stallions started hauling the wagon again.

That thought took a few seconds to grind its way through the weary machinery of her mind. When it did, Moondancer trotted to catch up with the wagon. "Camp? What do you mean, camp?"

Braeburn glanced over at her, grinning. "Well, like I said, miss. It's about a day's journey from Appaloosa to the Center. But since it's so late in the day, it'd be pretty foolish of us to try traveling at night. You can't see the trail as clear and we could get lost or, worse, injured." He shook his head, eyes distant in the gathering twilight. "Naw, we've got a campsite just a ways ahead. Takes longer, shore 'nuff, but it's safer that way."

A mile down the trail, Moondancer began to smell woodsmoke mingled with the sagebrush and wildflower scent, occasionally punctuated by the unmistakable aroma of cooking onions and bell peppers. Almost unconsciously, she quickened her pace, followed by the two stallions and the wagon, as they drew nearer the camp.

They rounded a corner in the trail and Moondancer came across a scene that, two days ago, would have appeared spartan and quaint. Now, however, it was the most welcome sight she'd seen all day. A pair of campfires blazed merrily in a clearing off the side of the trail in the deepening twilight, both heating a pair of cast iron dutch ovens. A tan-coated unicorn tended both, and, Moondancer thought, she finally had seen someone who looked like a proper academic. The unicorn stallion had a tan coat with a mussed crimson mane and tail, which graduated to blonde at the tips. He wore a green vest and a pair of round spectacles, and as they rounded the corner he waved an eager hoof. He held a spatula in his magic, which he was using to stir the contents of one dutch oven. As they trotted closer, Moondancer could make out his cutie mark in the dimming light; a crossed spatula and cocktail shaker under a halved bell & chili pepper.

"One thing you should be aware of." Snaproll muttered under his breath to her. "Don't pay much attention to his accent. It's an act."

"Wait...what?" Moondancer found herself asking, but the unicorn stallion hailed them as they got closer.
"Weeeeeeeeell look what finally decided to show up! Ah wuz jus' gettin' dinner goin' is all! If'n y'all wuz any later, Ah'd have been crestfallen." If anything, the unicorn's drawl was more pronounced and, Moondancer was sure, had a forced quality to it, as if it was a learned accent versus a natural one. She didn't get a chance on commenting on it, however, before the unicorn stallion lifted her saddlebags with his magic and said "C'mon o'er here, cher, and have a seat. We'll have some vittles up for you in a jiffy, sho'nuff!"

Braeburn and Snaproll drew the wagon to a halt in the clearing, and as the two stallions unhitched themselves, the pegasus shook his head. "Dangit, Saz, the filly's not gonna be fooled by your fake accent! For Celestia's sake, we're from Fillydelphia! NOBODY is buying the fact that you're from Neigh Orleans!" The pegasus trotted over to the unicorn and got in his face. "What's it gonna take to get you to snap out of this!"

The unicorn raised his head indignantly and shook his spatula in Snaproll's face. "Ah wouldn't 'spect you to unnerstand, you feather-brained excuse fore a polecat! It's just a paht o' mah personality!"

As he spoke, Moondancer realized that the unicorn and the pegasus, though they were obviously different types of ponies and had different colored manes and tails, had precisely the same shade of coat and build. As the pegasus started to reply to the pegasus, she cleared her throat. "Um...excuse me, but what-" She was cut off as the unicorn gave her an elegant bow. "Ah beg yore pardon, Miz Moondancuh, mah name's Sazerac. Ah see yew've already experienced mah brothah."

She felt one of her eyebrows climb up her forhead. "Your...brother?" She glanced over at Snaproll, then back at Sazerac. "Wha...?"

Snaproll and Sazerac gave her identical grins, and said, in unison "We're twins. Can't you tell?"

Braeburn strode into camp between the two brothers. "Give 'er a break, fellas. She's had a long day. Saz, how's dinner lookin?"

The unicorn grinned at the earth pony. "Got ah special treat for yew. Red beans an' rice. Should be done in a few, ah reckon." The unicorn nodded over to the second fire. "Got an apple cobbler fore dessert too. Should be pretty nice." He turned a shrewd look back at the two other stallions. "Did yew two get what ah asked yew fore in town?"

Snaproll rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's in the wagon. But come on, I've been hauling this wagon all day. Let's get some food. I'm starving!"

Braeburn glanced over at him. "You didn't have any trouble with that wagon on the way into town, Snap."

"That's because it wasn't loaded up to the gills with supplies, Brae!"

The light started to deepen and Moondancer resisted the urge to rub her forehead with a hoof.

Stuck in the wilderness with three crazy stallions. Can this trip get any worse?

Arrival

Moondancer rolled over, trying to get comfortable. It wasn't that the bedroll was uncomfortable, as it had a remarkably thick and soft pad built into the bottom of it. Rather, her discomfort had more to do with the fact that her usual bedtime routine consisted of reading one of her many books under her covers until her eyes were drooping and she was practically asleep. This wasn't an option, however, as her books were still all packed in her saddlebags at the moment, and the last time she had checked, they had all shifted to the bottom and were inconvenient to extract. Even without that, she felt she had plenty of fatigue built up over her journey that she should have dropped off to sleep almost the instant her head touched the pillow built into her bedroll.

Despite that, she was still awake.

I've got to be too tired to sleep. That's it. She pondered that for a minute, then shook her head. Get a grip, Moondancer, that's absurd. It's got to be something else.

She took a few minutes, cataloging her surroundings, and tried to find what it was that had changed. After a few minutes, it came to her. It's so quiet out here... she thought to herself.

Indeed it was. Moondancer had lived in Canterlot all her life, and while Manehattan might have been the "City That Never Sleeps", Canterlot was the city that "Stayed Up Until Three In The Morning Making A Racket Before It Shambled Off To Bed". Every night, Moondancer had been lulled to sleep by the sounds of passing carriages, the often overloud conversations of ponies in the streets below, or the sounds of ponies entering the apartment building after a long day of work.

Out here, in the Appaloosan Desert, there was barely any noise at all. The breeze seemed to float by, bearing with it a scent of the sagebrush it rustled through, but that was about it. Even Snaproll and Sazerac's muffled bickering had dwindled to quiet, and before long she could hear gentle snoring from the two brothers' bedrolls.

Turning her ear the other way, she couldn't hear anything from Braeburn but his breathing. It doesn't sound like he's asleep, though. She was seized by the irrational urge to ask him a question, but she stopped herself. I don't know him well enough to ask him anything while he's probably trying to sleep. And besides, he still irritates me. She nodded to herself, but then was struck by another thought as she stared into the dim glow of the campfire. What did he mean when he said he hoped I'd "Enjoy the view"?

Deciding she wasn't comfortable on that side, either, Moondancer rolled onto her back and gasped in surprise. Oh...oh my goodness...

Being a city filly, bookish and generally disinclined to leave the bright and well lit Canterlot thoroughfares after dark, Moondancer had barely spared the night sky a casual glance. Oh, certainly, she had studied astronomy, but that was different. She'd used a telescope and studied other stars and planets individually through an observatory telescope, or taken measurements on some of the brighter stars to be seen from the roof of the Canterlot library.

All of her studies, all of her knowledge of the heavens, had ill prepared her for the breathtaking beauty of the desert night sky on a clear evening. Stars, more stars than she could ever hope to count blazed away in the evening firmament above her. Directly overhead, blazing away among them, was a bridge of nebulous dark purple tinged with magenta spanned the horizon; a phenomena that she had only read about and had never been able to observe within the Canterlot city limits.

Wow...That's...that's incredible... She was stunned. Moondancer considered herself a rational mare, always concerned with data that she could gather and what it represented. However, out here in the Appaloosan Desert, she had found something so profoundly beautiful that it rendered her nearly incapable of cataloging what she saw. True, she could see familiar constellations, this time in their entirety, not merely by the brightest star or two that they contained. But instead of itemizing and tallying the stars, she found herself merely content to stare at them in wonder.

Presently, she became aware of their slow motion across the sky, accompanied by the slow movement of the waxing crescent moon. She felt her eyelids grow heavy as she thought to herself I wonder if I can listen hard enough, can I hear the stars move...

*******

She awoke the next morning to the sounds of the stallions bustling about camp. Sazerac had stoked one of the fires back up and was stirring something that smelled like mashed oats, cinnamon, ginger and other spices she couldn't quite identify. Braeburn stood nearby, stowing three of the bedrolls and some of the other camping accoutrements in the wagon. He smiled as he saw her gazing blearily around.
"Mornin' Miss Moondancer! How'd you sleep?"
She fumbled around for her glasses with her magic and gave him the best, most scathing reply she could muster.
"Hzzafuzzawuzza."

The earth pony stallion nodded sagely. "Right. Wait a minute." He trotted off towards the fire, and returned a few seconds later bearing a mug in one hoof. A mug filled with a blessed, familiar dark brown liquid whose acrid aroma blazed its way through her sinus cavities and jump started her mind into wakefulness. She managed to get her glasses back onto her muzzle while she sat up onto her haunches and seized the mug with her magic. She glanced at Braeburn and muttered "Thanks" begrudgingly as she sipped at the bitter ambrosia. To be sure, it needed some cream and sugar, but for the moment it was doing its job as it forced her mind to wakefulness. She swallowed a gulp of coffee, and then stood, shaking out her mane as she held the mug steady in her magic.

Braeburn gave her a quizzical look. "How didja sleep, Miss Moondancer?"
She bit back her most scathing response. She had not slept well. To be sure, she had slept, though it had been restless and her sleep had been punctuated by dreams, though the memory of those had been burned away by the coffee she drank. She took another sip of the brew to cover for her hesitation while she tried to come up with something polite to say to the earth pony stallion. "Better than I expected, thank you."

This was certainly true, she mused to herself. She hadn't expected to get any sleep, after all.

Braeburn nodded, satisfied. "Glad to hear it. Now c'mon over, let's get some breakfast into you."

Her nose hadn't lied to her. Sazerac had been preparing a veritable mountain of oats, redolent with cinnamon, sugar and ginger, and as she approached he floated a plate piled high with the stuff over to her. "Here you go, Miss Moondancer. Go on and eat up now, we've still got a good walk ahead of us."

Moondancer frowned as she extended another bit of magic out to the plate, levitating it in front of her. Sazerac's drawl had vanished, and his accent was much closer to Snaproll's, though his register was still a bit deeper. She blinked in confusion for a minute, then glanced over at Braeburn, opening her mouth to speak. Sazerac chuckled before she could. "Don't worry, you're not going insane. It's just a joke I like to play on my brother." When she turned her confused gaze on him, the tan stallion explained. "See, Snap doesn't get why I like Neigh Orleans stuff. Food, culture, drinks, et cetera. Gives me no end of grief, he does. So, I like to tease him by putting on that accent. Ruffles his feathers to no end." He winked at her and gave her an apologetic shrug. "I hope you don't mind me using you as part of my joke. I didn't mean anything bad by it."

Moondancer was too bemused by this development to say anything other than. "Oh, of course. No harm done." She turned and trotted over to one of the logs around the camp, sat down and began to munch away at her oats, washing them down with the coffee. As she ate, her mind started to properly wake up and she began to take in her surroundings properly again.

Braeburn had been correct; there was little to no dew that lay on the ground this morning. The sun was already starting to climb higher into the morning sky, having managed to rise over a mountain ridge that kept it from being directly at eye level. Braeburn was busy bustling around the camp, tidying up the tripod that had stood over the other campfire. She watched as he stowed this deftly along the side of the wagon, which he then rummaged inside for a pair of buckets that he withdrew. He glanced over at the unicorn stallion, who was spooning the last of the oatmeal onto his own plate. "Hey Saz, where away was the stream again?"

Sazerac pointed across the trail with the spoon suspended in his magic, in the opposite direction from the grove of trees that served as the bathroom. "That way, just past that row of green bushes."

"Much obliged!" and with that, Braeburn left, holding the buckets by their handles in his mouth.

Moondancer glanced around the camp, and then realized something. She turned over to Sazerac and asked, between bites of oatmeal "Hey, what happened to Snaproll?"

Sazerac rolled his eyes as he chewed and swallowed his mouthful of oats before he spoke. "The featherbrain took off this morning just after he ate. Said he wanted to 'Scope things out' or something." He snorted derisively. "My guess is, he didn't want to clean dishes again. So I guess we'll have to do it."

Sazerac glanced up, and then smiled. "Or maybe not. Speak of the draconequis, and he appears." Moondancer followed his gaze, and, sure enough, she could make out the silhouette of a pegasus flying fast and low. She recognized him as Snaproll a few seconds before the pegasus stallion flared and landed at the campsite quickly, billowing dust around him and threatening to coat Moondancer and Sazerac's breakfast with the same. It was only through Sazerac's quick thinking use of a small shield spell that prevented the pair being covered in dust. The unicorn stood and confronted his brother. "Confound it, Snap, what the hay do you mean kicking up all that dust?"

Snaproll, however, was breathing heavily as he rounded on his brother. "Come on, Saz, we've got to kick this into gear. We need to be out of here, and pronto." There was a sense of urgency to the pegasus' voice as he started gathering up dishes and rinsing them in what remained of last night's dishwater.

Sazerac frowned as his brother spoke. He gulped down the last of his oatmeal, glanced at Moondancer and said "Why, what's going on?"

Snaproll grimaced and glanced to the northeast. "We're just lucky I decided to stretch my wings is all. I decided to fly off over Lonesome Lake." He shook his head. "There's a natural storm brewing out there. Big one, too. Some of the ponies that live over thatway are raising the alarm for the weather team in Appleoosa, but they're going to be at least an hour-maybe more- before they can get on scene, break the storm into something more manageable, and divert it to the orchards around town."

Sazerac goggled at his brother for a minute, and then said "Well, why didn't you use your fancy pegasus mojo to break the storm up?"

Snaproll rolled his eyes, and said, with no small trace of sarcasm "Golly gee! Why didn't I think of that!" He bonked his head and crossed his eyes, the picture of comic idiocy, before glaring at his brother. "Trust me, a storm like that is hard to break up, one pony all by himself. Plus, they move fast out here. I could either try and break it up, or come here and warn everyone before it overtook us." He glanced off over to the northeast again, and then pointed with a hoof. "There! You can see it from here!"

Moondancer followed his gesture and was treated to another first. Canterlot, she recalled, had its weather curated by the loyal Weather Pegasi stationed around the capital. She could remember their charter to the city from her lessons as a young filly. The rain may never fall 'till after sundown. By eight, the morning fog must disappear. Certainly, the Weather Pegasi had had the occasional storm, generally after a petition to hold one accrued the requisite amount of signatures. She was aware, of course, that some parts of the realm had to deal with naturally occurring weather. She was also aware, intellectually, that this must mean that some parts of the realm experienced storms on their own.

All of this reasoning, however, was insufficient to prepare her for the sight she beheld.

A thunderhead, a towering colossus of cloud, was tearing across the plain. Though it was many miles distant, the cloud construct was so vast and took up so much of the sky that Moondancer fancied that she could reach a hoof out and touch it. Below the clouds, the vast plains were cast into dark shadow, and she could see tendrils drifting below the clouds. Bizarrely, she was reminded of a vast jellyfish, until she realized the dark and shadowy tendrils below the clouds must be rain.

Moondancer felt her breath catch in her throat as she watched the storm. Granted, the night sky the night previously had made her feel small and insignificant, but the approaching storm was different. The night sky, though beautiful, was impersonal and distant. The storm was significantly nearer and threatened to make her and her companions cold and wet, or worse. Even now, this far distant, the wind suddenly shifted, sending forth a blast of wind that tossed her mane and tail back, its chill promising damp and cold.

Moondancer was stunned out of her reverie by Braeburn, who was racing out of the side trail, carrying two full pails of water. "C'mon, shake a leg! We gotta break camp 'fore that storm hits us!" He glanced at the two other stallions. "Sazerac, I need you to pack up your kit and get it into the wagon there. Snaproll, can you get out and see if you can stall that storm?"

The pegasus frowned up at the approaching storm, his eyes calculating. And haunted. He gazed at it for a second, then two, then nodded. "Yeah, Brae. I think I can stall it. Maybe a bit."

Braeburn gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder with one of his hooves. "G'won, git movin'. We'll see you at the Institute." Snaproll gave him a nod, and then took off, flying towards the storm.

Braeburn gave Moondancer a nod. "Miss Moondancer, I have to see to filln' the cat-hole and then loadin' the wagon. Can you take these here buckets of water and douse the fire pits?"

Moondancer glanced down at the buckets, then out at the storm, before she said "Surely the rain will put the fire out?"

Braeburn shook his head. "We can't take the chance. Besides, it isn't smart to leave a fire unattended for so long. On the off chance that storm doesn't pass over this here campsite, the fire could spread to the sagebrush and we'd have a much bigger problem on our hooves." He shook his head and trotted off towards the grove that served as their toilet. "I'll be right back! Just make sure you spread the water 'round the fire pits!"

And with that he was off. Moondancer shook her head and, using her magic, levitated both pails of water over to the fire pits. Carefully, she managed to empty them so both pits were saturated. A small, billowing cloud of steam issued forth from both of them. Satisfied, she stacked one pail inside the other and lofted them both into the waiting wagon. She crossed to her bedroll, which still lay in the open, and deftly rolled it and tied it fast before levitating it neatly into the wagon as well. Finally, she used her magic to lift her turtleneck sweater from the ground. She gave it a firm shake, then used her magic to pull it onto herself. She pulled a tie and managed to get her mane into her characteristic messy half-top bun, and then took in the rest of the camp.

Sazerac was floating the last of his cooking apparatus into the wagon, his magical aura glowing a brilliant rusty red. The unicorn stallion then flipped the wagon's tarp over the top of the bed and threaded a rope through its eyes, securing it against potential rain.

Behind her, Moondancer heard the pounding of hooves and turned to see Braeburn galloping back towards the campsite, clutching a shovel in his mouth. This last tool he placed in a rack on the side of the wagon, spat a splinter from his mouth, and then eyed the storm. "C'mon. We ain't got much time to lose." He took his familiar place in the wagon harness, Sazerac taking his brother's place. "Let's git goin'!"

Moondancer barely had time to snatch her saddlebags up and trot in their trail. Behind them, she could hear the dull rumble of thunder as the storm rolled across the plains.

*******

They spent the rest of the morning outrunning the storm. True, as they plodded along the trail, the sky darkened and the air grew colder. Every time Moondancer spared a glance behind them, the storm seemed to have grown to encompass more of the sky. She could even see chains of lightning- great, jagged arcs of pure energy- lash across the sky from time to time. If she looked hard, she could, on occasion, see a small speck against the storm, fluttering along the leading edges of the cloud. That must be Snaproll, she thought to herself, wondering just how foolhardy the pegasus was trying to forestall the massive storm. An hour after she spied that particular speck, it was joined by a dozen other, similar ones. Must be the Appaloosan weather team, she reasoned, but after that she had little time to focus her surroundings.

Just put one hoof in front of the other. Get to the Center dry and un-lightning struck. That's your job, filly, she told herself, as she did just that.

Moondancer's mind, however, was not an idle one. It was incapable of wandering when occupied with nothing but a mundane task of simply trotting as fast as one was able ahead of a storm. Seeking for something to ponder, her mind landed on the Center for Applied & Theoretical Magic and everything she had heard about it.

This wasn't much, she decided upon reflection. The Center was supposed to be a hot spot where the brightest ponies tested new magical theories far from the rest of the population of Equestria. That, Moondancer thought, was the most intriguing bit about the center. The spells they must study must be quite powerful and, crucially, they might deal with the very fabric of reality itself. She was aware just what the gravity of what she might be called to study here. Equestria was a land that included creatures that were several orders of magnitude larger, more powerful and more fearsome than a pony. The flora was scarcely less dangerous. If one wasn't careful, either seriously change a pony's physiology, if not outright cause them to become a part of the flora themselves. It might be remote and desolate, but there's a real chance I might be able to make a difference out here. She thought to herself as she trotted in the wagon's wake, smiling despite her aching muscles.

Her thoughts drifted to the enigmatic director of the Center, Professor Pomme DeTerre. She had read a few of his papers in graduate school, and found his work groundbreaking. If he had been more outgoing, more accessible to the scientific press, he would have been a household name. As it was, he was well known amongst the Magical Academia of Equestria, but reclusive, preferring the solitude and isolation of the Center in the Appaloosan desert. Oh, certainly, there were rumors aplenty, and some of them were too outlandish to be believed. Professor DeTerre was an alien from another dimension, some would say, or others theorized that he was an almost unheard-of Alicorn Stallion, and visited the Princesses Celestia and Luna for clandestine trysts at Canterlot during the solstice. Still others swore that he was a dragon in disguise, others that he was a changeling. The proponents of the latter two theories were remarkably similar, either suggesting that DeTerre was sharing his knowledge for the betterment of ponykind or, more sinisterly, to control it. Moondancer had sifted through each of these theories individually and decided that the best course of action would be to meet the professor himself.
Though, admittedly, his papers are groundbreaking and his conclusions incontrovertible. If nothing else, it will be a treat to deal with such an intellect. Indeed, in that light, her trip to the Center would be a chance to prove herself to the Greatest Mind of a Generation.

The trail wended its way beneath her as she trotted behind Braeburn and Sazerac and their wagon. An hour passed, then another, and still the storm grew closer behind them. And still, the ground rose beneath them as the trail rose into the desert. Moondancer felt herself panting as the miles ground away behind them. Water! Water would be lovely. Followed closely by a catered meal, a soak in a bath deep enough to cover me to my neck. Followed by a hooficure. Suddenly, the trail dropped away beneath her, and she was presented with a new vista.

Below her stretched a vast caldera. At its base pooled a lake filled with dark blue water. The ground sloped away and the trail with it, leading to a collection of adobe buildings a hoofful of lengths from the lake's edge. Though she imagined in still weather the lake would reflect like a mirror, in the wind from the incoming storm its surface was disturbed into ripples. The edges of the caldera were barren of any vegitation larger than sagebrush, save for inside the cluster of adobe buildings. There, a grove of trees stood tall and proud, rivaling the earthenware buildings for height. One long, low wooden building stood apart from the rest of the others, and Moondancer wondered what that could be, before Braeburn shook himself in the harness.

"Welp. Here we are. Home sweet home." He turned his head in his harness, took his hat in one of his hooves, and bowed to Moondancer. "Miss Moondancer, may I be the first to welcome you to the Equestrian Center for Applied and Theoretical Magic. Now, if'n you'll follow me, it look's like we kin git you situated 'fore that storm hits."

Revelation

As the approached the center, Moondancer started to take in more details. The trees were the first thing she noticed. There was a cluster of apple trees, which she half expected, but they were also accompanied by a truly monstrous lemon tree and a quartet of trees she did not recognize, which bore smooth, orange fruit the size of an apple, but tapered to a shallow point at the end. The rest of the trees were a mix of tall pines and another she couldn't recognize, with a dark grey-brown trunk and bright yellow leaves. As she approached, she could see a well tended low garden, where tomatoes, bell peppers, celery and Celestia knew what else grew.

The buildings weren't quite what she expected either. There were a half dozen cottages made of thick adobe walls, each two stories high. They were fitted with wooden doors that looked oiled and treated for exposure against the harsh Appaloosan Desert sun, and there were glass windows fitted in each of the houses, though Moondancer could see curtains in most of them. She couldn't be sure, but looking at them, it appeared the cottages had a lipped roof and access to the same, giving them an effective third floor. Each cottage looked like it would house one pony quite comfortably, or perhaps two or three if they didn't mind it being slightly crowded.

Near the cluster of cottages was another building, as large as three cottages together. And further away stood a long, low building, six times the length of one of the cottages and at least twice as wide. And, against these two larger buildings, a series of wooden storage sheds had been built, each one large enough to hold three wagons the size of the one that Braeburn and Sazerac pulled.

For all that this is supposed to be a premier research facility, Moondancer thought to herself, This looks awfully rustic. She shook her head. Scratch that. It IS awfully rustic. But who knows? Professor DeTerre is supposed to be brilliant. And besides, one shouldn't base the results of an experiment off of the hypothesis alone. You must test and make sure the data backs it up. She sighed as she looked around. Other than the obviously pony-tended gardens, there was scant vegetation nearby, save for a ring of trees that sheltered the lake. The northern sky was obscured by the rapidly approaching storm, while the view to the southwest across the lake showed a low meadow that abruptly rose into striking granite mountains covered in pine and vegetation. She looked wistfully at the meadow across the lake. That looks MUCH more picturesque. I wonder why they couldn't build the center over there. She looked around. Everywhere else, the landscape was undulating, shallow hills covered in sagebrush.

"Awright, here we are!" Braeburn and Sazerac had pulled the wagon alongside one of the adobe cottages, and the earth pony stallion had deftly unhitched himself from the wagon. "This'll be yer home for th' time bein'." Before Moondancer could speak, there was a flash of light behind them to the north. All three ponies heads turned to study the storm, though Moondancer could see Braeburn nodding slowly every second and realized He's counting. After his sixth nod, the sky was split by an earsplitting rumble of thunder that rolled on for the better part of a minute. Braeburn muttered something under his breath that sounded very un-gentlecoltish as he turned to Moondancer. "Ah'm afraid Ah can't give ya the quick tour, Miss Moondancer. Ah gotta batten down some of the center 'fore that there storm hits." He glanced over at Sazerac. "Kin you help her out, Saz, while I put this here wagon an' supplies away."

Sazerac nodded. "Sure! I could use a break before I get back to work anyway." The spectacled unicorn stallion caught Moondancer's eye and then nodded towards the cottage. "Come on in, I'll give you the layout."

Moondancer followed, though she glanced over her shoulder at Braeburn, who had hitched himself back to the wagon and was hauling it to the medium sized building closest to the cottages. She turned and glanced back at Sazerac. "Is...is he going to be alright?"

Sazerac nodded. "Oh yeah. He could have hauled that wagon from Appaloosa by himself. He would have been pretty worn out after, though. And it's not like I couldn't have used the exercise to help him. Or my lazy brother, come to mention it." The unicorn glanced off at the storm, which sent out another bolt of lightning that arced across the sky. "Come on, let's get inside."

He used his hoof to work the latch and then pushed the iron-bound wooden door open. Moondancer followed him inside.

The cottage's walls were bare, though there was a large buffalo-made rug that covered the earthenware tile floor. A fireplace sat along one wall, opposite a counter with a sink, oven and icebox built into it. A wide staircase was built into one wall, with a door underneath it at its widest portion. Sazerac gestured around the room, explaining things as she looked. "Nice sized fireplace there. These adobe buildings stay cool in the summer, but during the winter you might want a fire in the fireplace. Everyone's got their own kitchen, if you'd like to do your own cooking or have your own snacks during the week. Toilet's under the stairs, which lead on up to the second floor." He bobbed his horn at the stairs and led her up to the second floor, which had wide windows and a door that led off the stair landing. Another set of stairs continued to a trapdoor on the roof, which Sazerac nodded to. "Roof access. Sometimes the snows get pretty high here in the winter time, so it's easier to go out the top rather than dig yourself out." He opened the door into a room with wide windows and another wall with a door opposite. "Bedroom here, and through there's your bath & shower. One of the nice things here is we'll have hot and cold running water year round." He turned and raised his eyebrows expectantly, eyeing her saddlebags. "So, let's get started. I see you prefer to travel light."

Moondancer gave him a flat look, then used her magic to open one flap of her saddlebags. She felt around inside and then smiled triumphantly as she used her magic to lift an object out of the bag and float it over to hover in front of Sazerac's eyes. The unicorn looked slightly crosseyed as he tried to focus on it.
"It's a...tiny bookshelf?" He glanced over at her, one eyebrow climbing into his red and gold mane. "What- WOAH!"

Moondancer focused on the spell she was weaving and suddenly the bookshelf gave a small shudder before growing rapidly, until it was tall enough that it only had a bare inch of clearance from the ceiling. She gave the flabbergasted unicorn stallion a satisfied look as she said. "In a sense, you're right. I do like to travel light. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to leave all my stuff behind." She glanced around the room, thinking, and then said "Could you move that over in the corner there by the door?" With that, she reached with her magic into the bag again, fishing for another piece of furniture.

Sazerac lifted the bookshelf with his pale green magical aura, gliding it effortlessly into a corner. "I get it. You shrink down all your stuff and then you don't have to pay a moving company a couple hundred bits to haul it for you. That's pretty advanced magic."

Moondancer waved his compliment away as she turned another enlarging spell on more furniture, this time a handsome mahogany chest of drawers and another bookshelf. "Coming from somepony who works here at the Center, that's too high a compliment." She frowned as she nodded to the new bookshelf first. "Over in the corner opposite the first one. I'll have to find my bed before I figure out where I want the drawers."

*******

They spent the next hour or so pleasantly arranging Moondancer's furniture, by which point Sazerac was rubbing the base of his horn with a hoof. "Okay...is that all your stuff situated?" Sazerac asked. "Only I've got to get back to work before too much longer."

Moondancer surveyed the cottage's interior with a mare's experienced eye. "Yeeess....yes I think that will do for now. I'll probably move some things around as I get a better feel for the room." She turned and smiled at the unicorn. "Thank you for your help, Sazerac."

He waved a hoof and shrugged. "It was nothing, really. Just a bit of levitation, and that's no trouble for me at all."

This was true. After the first quarter hour, Sazerac had suggested that he start moving things three at a time. He must really be a powerful magic user, to have such a grasp on telekinesis, Moondancer thought to herself, remembering Sazerac juggling a lamp, armoire and ottoman in his magic while she made up her mind where to put them.

Moondancer cocked her head at him. "You said you've got to get to work. Would you mind if I accompanied you?"

The unicorn stallion shook his head. "Not at all." There was another flash of lightning outside, followed closely by a peal of thunder that caused them both to jump. Sazerac shook his head. "Come on, we'd better get moving. And Follow me closely!"

They dashed from the cottage, Moondancer using her magic to shut the door tight behind her. They sprinted to the medium sized building close by, hooves pounding on the dry earth. Sazerac reached the front door just before her, holding it open with his magic and sidestepping so she could trot inside before he closed it behind them.

She looked around as Sazerac flipped on the light switches. Moondancer had expected offices, lab equipment, magical measuring apparatuses of various degrees. What she hadn't expected were several tables and chairs, bookshelves filled with hardcover and paperback novels, a fireplace big enough for her to stand fully inside, a pool table and a dart board. A staircase wound up to the second floor in the corner. This doesn't look like a scientific center...It's like a bar, almost. Frowning, she looked over at Sazerac, who trotted off to a pair of double doors opposite the entrance. She followed him through, her curiosity aroused.

The room Sazerac led her into looked much more like what she was expecting. Everywhere she looked gleamed with stainless steel, polished bright and sterile. Now THIS is a lab. Burners there, storage for measuring glasses, wash station... She frowned at a row of objects that hung along one wall. ...Frying pans? What... She turned, her confusion growing to towering bafflement and saw Sazerac deftly loop an apron around his neck with magic and tie it behind him.

Moondancer had had enough, and she asked, baffled "Just what sort of lab is this?"

Sazerac looked at her, one eye raised quizzically. "Lab? The labs are in that long building over. This is the kitchen."

Moondancer leaned against one of the steel counters, feeling quite at a loss. "Then...then the work you were going to get to..." she asked, and something clicked into place for her, and she continued, "...You're...ARE you one of the researchers here?"

Sazerac's expression of questioning concern evaporated as a smile spread across his muzzle. "Wait...you thought I was one of the eggheads here? Meaning no offense, miss."

"None taken. So...so you're not...?"

"A researcher? Tartarus, no! I'm just the cook!" He chuckled to himself as he used his magic to levitate a few pounds of russet potatoes from storage. These he hovered under a faucet, which he turned on and used to wash the tubers. "Sometimes they ask me to fabricate stuff and whatnot, but that's just telekinetic gruntwork."

"So...the work you were going to do..." Moondancer looked at the potatoes, freshly washed and completely unremarkable.

"Cooking everypony's dinner. Tonight's gonna be twice baked potatoes and eggplant parmigiana. Figured everyone would want something hearty after the trip in." Sazerac levitated the potatoes over to a rack and started drying them off with a paper towel torn from a dispenser. "I'll be honest, it's pretty simple, but if you want to help me with the spuds, I won't complain."

Moondancer shook her head. "Um...Actually, if you wouldn't mind...I'd like to meet Professor DeTerre, if that's possible."

Sazerac whipped his head around to look at her, his mouth working for a second before he said "Meet Professor...oh...wait...you don't..." A slow grin spread across his face again, and Moondancer was starting to feel quite discombobulated. Sazerac glanced up at a clock on the wall, and nodded. "Yeah, I think that's possible. Shouldn't be any problem." He spoke with barely restrained laughter, and Moondancer was starting to wonder what was so funny, though she was afraid of asking. Sazerac pointed back out the kitchen doors with his horn, and said "Go out the doors, up the stairs, his office last door on the left." He turned back to his dinner preparations, pulling butter, scallions a block of cheese and a grater out from storage as he continued speaking. "The Professor should be finished with his work by then."

"Alright...thanks, Sazerac." She backed out of the kitchen doors, not wanting to turn her back on the strange unicorn. She turned and trotted to the stairs. Behind her, she could hear Sazerac give his mirth full rein as he started cackling with glee. Ugh, why did I have to wind up with all the crazy stallions? She shook her head as she climbed the stairs.

The second floor had a narrow hallway, with doors leading off either side. She trotted down the hall, and finally reached the last door. She knocked, and asked "Um...Excuse me...can I come in?"

She heard a set of hooves on the floor opposite the door, and then the latch turned. "Miss Moondancer? Kin Ah help you?"
Braeburn stood in the doorway, his hat off and hanging on a peg by the door, and his expression concerned. Moondancer frowned at him, then back at the door. "Just...just wait a minute. I think Sazerac is playing a joke on me. I thought this was Professor DeTerre's office."

"Oh!" Braeburn's eyes lit up and he grinned. "Well, yore in the right place, shore 'nuff. Why don't you come in and have a seat." He took a step back from the door and gestured at a pair of chairs that stood in front of a handsome desk carved from some dark wood.

At a loss for anything else to do- except, perhaps, go down and stuff a spud in Sazerac's ear- Moondancer took one of the seats before the desk. Braeburn shut the office door behind her and then trotted to the swivel chair opposite her.
Moondancer raised an eyebrow at this. "Are...do you think you should be sitting in Professor DeTerre's seat?"

Braeburn chuckled as he sat back in the seat, which reclined enough for him to place his rear hooves up on the corner of the desk. He gave her his easy grin and said "Well, Ah don' see why not, seein' as how Ah happen to be Professor Pomme DeTerre."

Tempest

In the Center kitchen, Sazerac used his magic to rotate the potatoes on their rack on the oven. He was still chortling to himself as he kept an eye on the kitchen clock. Let's see...it's been about two minutes since I sent her up to see him. Should be ANY second now...

He used his magic to open a cabinet and draw out a bottle of amber liquor, a bottle of green liquor, a box of sugar cubes, and a small bottle of a brilliant red liquor. These he arrayed in a row on the counter, and then used his magic to pull two more glasses from the cupboard. One of these he floated into the icebox, the other he laid out on the bar.

Sazerac had just managed to get this accomplished when the adobe walls of the Center shook in the throes of something much mightier than the storm which currently raged outside. A mare's voice, raised several decibels louder than the drumming rain and pounding thunder. The mare's shook the Center's adobe walls from its roof all the way down to its foundations with a single phrase. It rattled Sazerac's glasses and shook his plates. The window panes rattled in their frames. Sazerac could hear the pool table shake on its legs.

The mare's voice said, "YOU HAVE TO BE BUCKING KIDDING ME!!!"

Sazerac glanced around himself, making sure the drink he was concocting remained unmolested by the disturbance. He heard a faint thump on the floor above him, and then grinned.

"Sounds like she found out." He chortled to himself, as he poured a measure of rye into the glass and started singing to himself, as he continued mixing his drink.

Eh Cumpari, ci fa suonare
Chi si sona? Un friscalettu...

*******

Moondancer gaped at Braeburn, who had settled back into his chair. Her mind was simultaneously moving a million miles a second and reeling from the news that this rustic earth pony stallion who was slouching in his chair before her was the greatest mind of her generation in the field of theoretical magic. She drew from deep within herself to muster the most brilliant, scathing, witty, and charming response she could muster.

"Whaaaa...."

She shook her head and then tried again.

"Hassenphfeffer..."

Braeburn's smile broadened as he stretched back in his chair, his green eyes on the ceiling. " Ah ain't surprised you'd react this way. T'was half the reason I took out the pen name anyhow."

This gave Moondancer something to latch on to, a lifeline of reason that she could grasp onto in a sea of bafflement. "Took...out...name?"

Braeburn nodded, his smile turning rueful. "Yah, see...I've got a biiiiiig family, you gotta understand, Miss Moondancer. Now, most of them won't give a flyin' buck at a rollin' apple fritter if'n Ah published a bunch o' highfalutin' theoretical magic papers an' got a dozen or so awards an' whatnot. But there's a few of 'em that would. A few that'd say that my head were gettin' too big fer my stetson, if'n you see what Ah mean." He shrugged back in his chair, his smile losing its self-mocking aspect and becoming more genuine. "So, Ah took out a...whatsit Sazerac called it...Nom de Plume. Ah figured it'd be pretty obvious. Pomme de Terre...literally means "Apple of the Earth" an' whatnot. Ah figured the ponies that bothered to check in would figure it out, and them what didn't know wouldn't care."

Moondancer felt an irrational stab of guilt that she hadn't bothered to check further beyond the pen name, but a part of her mare's pride rallied. You can't just sit there! A part of her screamed, shaking her psyche by the shoulders. Say SOMETHING, filly!

Her mind cast around, trying to find the best response to this situation. Instead of rendering herself capable of coherent speech, however, it only allowed her to mumble a few nonsensical phrases. Braeburn glanced over at her, his expression concerned.

"Are you alright, Miss Moondancer? Ah could getcha a drink o' water, if'n ya like."

Reeling, a part of Moondancer's mind realized that she was starting to make a scene. YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING!!! ANYTHING!!!

"But...you don't look like a magical theorist." Anything but THAT!, her mind shrieked to herself in dismay.

When she looked back, Moondancer was never sure where the statement originated from in her mind. She was certain, however, that it was a mistake.

Braeburn took his rear hooves from the desktop and swiveled his chair around to face her, his expression studiously blank. "Would you care to tell me just whut you mean by that, Miss Moondancer?" His voice was calm and collected, but there was a strong hint of anger running through it. Moondancer felt the same sense of foreboding and potential fury every bit as potent as the storm that was currently lashing the center with rain, thunder and lightning lurking under the earth pony stallion's placid countenance. Ohhh, I really put my hoof in it, she thought, as she tried to repair the damage.

"Well...I don't mean any offense, but...you don't act or talk like any of the Magical Theorists I've met or heard about."

A bit of the tension leaked out of Braeburn's posture, but his expression was still as blank and impassive as the adobe walls of the building. "Ah see...Well, Ah certainly hope you won't be the type to hold a pony's upbringin' against them. Not every pony has access to a Canterlot Education, you understand." There was something bitter in his tone, but he continued speaking before Moondancer had a chance to say anything else. "An' Ah don't suppose that I'm an Earth Pony has somethin' to do with your reaction, does it?"

"No! No, of course not!" Moondancer said, and she meant it. "Honestly, Braeburn, that's not it. It's just that..." She took a minute for her brain to marshal her thoughts into something coherent, afraid that she might say something else that would upset Braeburn. She was, she realized, that no matter how...irritating she might find the stallion, she also didn't want to hurt him or offend him. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then spoke. "It's just that...well, I've read your papers. Quite a few of them, actually. I just...well, I thought they were the work of an older pony. I didn't expect them to be the work of a stallion about my age." Or one so strong, handsome, and who knew his way around the outdoors. voice muttered in the back of her mind, to Moondancer's surprise. She filed that stray thought away for later consideration as she continued speaking. "Your upbringing out here, and the fact that you're an earth pony doesn't really enter into my consideration about that. And I'm sorry if I gave that impression." Brains and brawn, he's got the whole package! the same part of her brain piped up again before she managed to club it into submission.

Braeburn's expression remained impassive, save for one of his blonde eyebrows climbing into his mane. "If'n you don't mind my askin', which of my papers didja read?"

"The Implications and Initial Conclusions of Chaos Magic, Alicorns: Born or Created? and, most recently, Hazardous and Magical Flora of Equestria." Moondancer said, ticking them off on one of her hooves.

Braeburn's other eyebrow joined the first one. "And what didja think of 'em?"

Moondancer took a deep breath. "Well, the Chaos Magic one was particularly intriguing. Considering that Discord has the ability to conjure up seemingly impossible objects, weather phenomena, and nearly everything else with a snap of his claws...if ponies could harness the same spells and control them, the implications for Equestrian society could be huge. Everything from curing birth defects to eliminating poverty and hunger."

Braeburn nodded, his eyebrows returning to a normal level above his green eyes. "And the Hazardous and Magical Flora of Equestria?"

Moondancer looked at him curiously. "Well, I'd have to see how well your experiments hold up personally, as I only just read it a month ago, but your methodology looks sound and what you've written about Poison Joke, at least, certainly seems promising."

Braeburn gave her a half smile. "So, yore hopin' that my research on magical plants will bear fruit?"

Moondancer laughed at that, surprised at herself. That joke was objectively terrible. Why did I laugh at that? She managed to get her giggles under control, took a deep breath, and nodded.

Braeburn relaxed back into his chair. "Well...good. Because those two particular fields are what we'll be studyin' here at the Center for the very near future." He sighed and leaned forward in his chair. "Miss Moondancer...Ah'm sorry Ah took offense at what you said. Ah should have given you the benefit of the doubt. And if nothin' else, Ah'm glad you're a part of the team here." He smiled, and though it was still raining outside his office window, Moondancer suddenly felt like the sun had come out. She was seized by the urge to grab the lapels of his vest with her hooves, pull him to her, and give him the biggest kiss she had ever bestowed upon a stallion. The thought, however, was so out of left field, she resisted.
He'd think I was crazy! And, furthermore, JUST WHERE ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM?!? Moondancer added it to the pile of troubling emotions that she would have to examine later when she wasn't talking to Braeburn. For some reason, she was finding herself distracted, and she couldn't pin down exactly why. And that was troubling her.

Moondancer opened her mouth to speak, when a pony shouted up from the floor below, his voice laced with panic.

"Help! Someone give me a hoof here!"

Moondancer and Braeburn glanced at the door, then at each other before they left the room at a dead gallop.

*******

Snaproll stood in the entrance to the Center's lounge, his mane, tail and coat dripping wet, with an unconscious pegasus draped across his back. The door stood ajar behind him; outside the storm raged as rain was coming down in sheets. He glanced up at Moondancer and Braeburn, who were coming down the stairs at a full run. "Get the first aid kit! I think she's hurt pretty bad!"

Braeburn nodded, turned and dashed up the stairs. Moondancer trotted over to Snaproll and, using her levitation, lifted the pegasus mare onto one of the sofas nearby. Her mane and tail were soaking and bedraggled from being out in the storm, so much so that Moondancer could barely tell what color they were; her coat was likewise waterlogged and difficult to tell what color it was. More troubling, however, was the injury to the mare's head. She had a large cut running across from a lump on her forehead that ran down past her temple that was bleeding freely.

After the mare was situated on the sofa, Snaproll grabbed a trio of cushions and used them to elevate her hind legs above her head. Meanwhile, Sazerac emerged from the kitchen with a large bag full of ice cubes and a damp towel. But before Moondancer could do anything, Braeburn was standing by her side and gently shouldering her aside. He glanced over at Snaproll and asked "What happened to her?" as the earth pony gently started probing the mare's skull for fractures.

Snaproll shook his head, spraying water everywhere. "I'd just about finished stalling the storm as much as I could, when I saw her flying through it. I went to help her out and managed to lead her out of a pretty nasty down draft, but by that point we were at altitude and that section of storm started hailing on us. She caught a stone about the size of a hoof on the head." The pegasus was breathing hard, his eyes faraway as he stared at the mare.

Braeburn nodded. "Well, good thing you were there. Looks like she's just concussed. Her skull isn't broken, and that's durn lucky." He glanced over at Snaproll. "This'll give you a good chance to practice yer first aid." The earth pony straightened up and stepped next to Moondancer. "Ah'm sorry fer pushin' you aside there, Miss Moondancer. Ah just..." He shrugged. "Ah just got first aid trainin' and all. Had do make sure she didn't have anythin' wrong with her."

Moondancer shook her head, her deep red mane shaking around her. "No...No it's okay. I've never...never treated an injury like that." Her mind supplied her a baffling image of Braeburn bent over her, concern across his features, but she banished the thought to the growing pile of confusing notions in the space behind her horn.

Snaproll, meanwhile, had accepted the ice and towels from his brother and gently held them to the mare's forhead. He glanced over at Braeburn. "Thanks...It's just that...well, she was bleeding pretty badly."

Braeburn nodded. "That's purty normal. Shallow head wounds tend to bleed like that." His eyes narrowed as he watched Snaproll tend to the mare. "The ice is a good idea, you jus' might want to bind her wound first."

"Oh...right."

Sazerac, meanwhile, had been rummaging around in one of the cupboards and returned floating a half dozen towels in his magic. "Here you go, Snap. Might want to dry her off too. Last thing she needs is a concussion and pneumonia."

"Good thinking."

Snaproll used his hooves to wrap a length of gauze around the mare's head. After he tied off the bandage, he began to dry her off with a towel. He'd managed to move to one of her outstretched wings when the mare's eyes flashed open. They were a penetrating blue-gray. They flicked around, from the ceiling, to the sofa she was lying on, and, then, on the pegasus stallion who was drying her off. Instantly her expression went from befuddled curiosity to incandescent fury.

"OI! GET YOUR HOOVES OFF ME, PERVERT!"

Snaproll had just enough time to turn his head in her direction and say "Wait, wha-" before the mare lashed out in a competent right cross that connected with Snaproll's jaw. The pegasus stallion's head snapped around and he collapsed next to the sofa. The mare struggled to rise from the sofa, then held a hoof to her forehead and sunk back into it. "Ohhh....my head feels like it's had a diamond dog living in it...Which one of you made the gravity go all sideways?" She had a low alto voice and a faint Trottingham accent.
Sazerac, meanwhile, was rolling on the floor, laughing. "Ohh...and he's down! Fell like a sack of spuds!"

Braeburn cleared his throat. "Beggin' yer pardon, miss, but yer sufferin' from a pretty bad concussion from when you got caught back in that storm outside. My colleague here managed to save you from it." He pulled one of Snaproll's eyes back, then shook his head. "Out cold. Hey Saz," he called over to the unicorn stallion, who was trying to stifle his laughter, "Go and get yer brother another bag of ice."

"Sure thing, Brae." The unicorn got to his hooves and retreated to the kitchen, still chortling to himself.

Moondancer stood over the mare on the couch. "I should introduce myself. My name's Moondancer. The earth pony stallion there is Braeburn, and the pegasus you knocked out is Snaproll." She glanced back down at the pegasus mare. "What's your name?"

The pegasus mare frowned in concentration for a minute. "I'm...Whichaway. Sorry there, it took me a minute to think of it. I must have taken a pretty hard hit."

Braeburn spoke up from his position by Snaproll. "According to this guy here, you got hit by a hailstone & blacked out. Ah'd take it easy, if I was you. I don't know how long you was out, and head injuries like that can be funny."

Whichaway nodded slightly as Sazerac trotted back into the room, holding another bag of ice. "I got this guy, Brae. I've known how to get him up since we were colts" The unicorn stallion trotted over to his prostrate brother and let the ice bag drop onto his head, none too gently. "Hey featherbrain, quit sandbagging. Dinner's about ready."

Amazingly, Snaproll gave a firm twitch. He groaned and sat up, gingerly holding the ice to his head. "Did...did anyone get the name of that dragon that hit me?"

"Oi! Watch who you're calling a 'dragon', mister!" Whichaway had half raised herself from the couch and was glaring at Snaproll on the floor. The pegasus stallion, for his part, was glaring back at her.

"Hey! Do you deck every stallion you meet, or just the ones that saved you from plowing headfirst into the desert?"

"Saving me so you could feel me up when I'm unconscious you sicko!"

"Feeling you-" Snaproll spluttered, before he shouted back "I was drying you off!!! You got a problem with that, the storm's still going on out there."

"A'ight...that's enough." Braeburn spoke up before Whichaway could respond, and the two pegasi fell silent. "'Peers to me that what we got here is a whole passel of misunderstandins." He glanced over at Sazerac. "Is dinner actually ready?"

"Just about long enough for me to plate it up." Sazerac said, grinning. "Should even have enough even for an unexpected guest."

Braeburn nodded. "Sounds good." He turned to the prostrate pegasus mare and said "Miss, under the circumstances, Ah'd like to extend my hoof in hospitality to yourself." He nodded to Moondancer. "If'n you like, Miss Moondancer here will accompany you to the filly's room and help you get dried off."

Evidence

Moondancer managed to get Whichaway to her hooves with the gentle use of her magic. She gave Braeburn a look. "Um...Where..?"

He nodded, understanding. "Along that wall yonder, second door on the left. There's a locker room built into the restroom, should be some towels over yonder."

Moondancer gave him a nod of thanks. Braeburn, meanwhile, turned his attention to Snaproll, evidently concerned the pegasus stallion had a concussion.
"I'm telling you, Brae, I'm fine!"

"Look you stubborn galoot, You might feel fine, but the last thing I need is for you to be bleedin' inter that thick skull o' yourn!"

Whichaway leaned against Moondancer, grateful for the support the unicorn mare gave her. "Thanks for the help. I've made a right mess of things here."

Moondancer didn't quite know what to make of this, merely nodded as the two mares made their way to the bathroom.

True to Braeburn's word, the bathroom had a decent set of lockers to it as well, complete with a fresh array of fluffy white towels. Moondancer used her magic to float a trio of these off the shelf and over onto a bench, where she walked Whichaway over towards so the pegasus mare could support herself. The feathered mare sat down on the bench with a grateful sigh, grabbed one of the towels with her fetlock, and artfully wrapped it around her mane in a turban so it could dry.

"So, Moondancer", She said, grabbing another towel and using it to dry her coat off, "That pegasus stallion back there..." Whichaway's voice was carefully neutral as she regarded Moondancer out of the corner of her eye. "Does he...does he have a special somepony?"

Moondancer was caught short. The question was so unexpected it caught her train of thought boarding at the station. "Um...what?"

Moondancer gave her a frank look. "You'd think I wasn't the one who got brained by a hailstone. Snaproll." She leaned closer to Moondancer, her gaze becoming vaguely manic as she spoke, emphasizing each word. "Does. He. Have. A. Special. Somepony?"

Moondancer felt herself leaning away from the mare, and answered truthfully. "I...I honestly don't think so. Though that said, I only met him yesterday afternoon."

This seemed, however, to be the answer that Whichaway was hoping for. Her expression went from intent to transported. To her amazement, Moondancer could see tiny heart bubbles begin to percolate above Whichaway's head, as the pegasus mare gave a heartfelt sigh. "Oh, thank Celestia! I don't know what I would do if he had!"

Moondancer felt her jaw drop. She was, if she was being humble, a rather clever unicorn, and could list plenty of magical formulae, theories and procedures off the top of her head. This, however, was out of her league, and she felt like all logic had dropped out of the conversation. Stunned, she tried to gather more data, to make sense of what was lying before her.

"But...hold on a second..." She considered the hearts floating above Whichaway's toweled mane. "You mean... you like him?"

Whichaway gave a lovelorn sigh and gracefully lay on her back on the bench, hearts still floating above her head. After a second glance, Moondancer could see she was floating a few hoof widths over the bench, without the aid of her wings. "Oh, is it so hard to understand? The way he flies, his strong jawline, his distant, pensive gaze..." Whichaway held the back of a fetlock to her brow, as if swooning, though she merely sighed and settled back on the bench. "What filly wouldn't want a stallion like that?"

"But...but you knocked him out cold five minutes ago!"

Whichaway waved an airy hoof. "Details, my dear, merely details. I'm going to make that stallion mine!" She turned and gave Moondancer a frank stare. "I've known that since I saw him in Appaloosa last month."

"Last month?" Moondancer spluttered.

"Yes." Whichaway smiled dreamily. "He was one of the ponies that helped clear a particularly nasty thunderstorm over town, you know. I'd never seen a stallion handle clouds like that. The way he managed to break them up, to get them to move, and discharge their water where it was needed..." She sighed, dreamily, her gaze a million miles away. "It's enough to make a filly wish she were a cumulus..." She giggled, and then continued. "Anyway, I resolved to find out who he was and where he came from. But he left just as quickly as he'd come. So when I saw him leaving town, I had to follow him! To know who he was!"
Whichaway suddenly sat, bolt upright, and then grabbed Moondancer's cheeks and gazed into her eyes, her expression panicked. "You! You wouldn't...tell him this, would you? Just between us mares?"

"Wha? OH! No...No of course not."

Whichaway breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh...good. Thank you. It's hard enough trying to bag a stallion. The last thing we want is for them to know what we're thinking, too."

"Right...well, If I'm any judge of things, the fact that you decked him should have thrown him off the scent." Moondancer said, hoping to project that she knew what she was talking about when she clearly didn't. "Are you dried off?"

Whichaway sighed. "In all the ways that matter, yes." She rolled off the bench and onto her hooves, looking much steadier now. "So, how about you, dear? You have eyes on that tall drink of water out there?"

Moondancer blinked in confusion. "Tall drink of...wait...Braeburn?"

Whichaway smiled slyly, and gave Moondancer a wink. "Not that I'd blame you. He's certainly got plenty of muscle and good looks."

Moondancer gave the pegasus a flat stare. "As it happens, I've only met Braeburn yesterday as well. It's not like I've any idea what to do with that stallion, anyway."

Whichaway tossed the towel off her mane and onto the floor, giving Moondancer a wink as she trotted out of the locker room. "Oh, I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you could think of a few things. Now, let's get some food."

Moondancer felt a blush crease her muzzle as she followed the pegasus mare, and felt baffled and amused at the lengths lovestruck mares would go to rope a stallion.

*******

Dinner passed pleasantly quickly for Moondancer. The bookish mare was used to dinners that were either made with boiling water, came in a styrofoam container, or were some combination of the two that was best left uncontemplated. Sazerac, however, had emerged from the kitchen floating platters of breaded eggplant covered in mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce over a bed of rice. After the first bite, Moondancer was hard pressed to keep from throwing her utensils to one side and burying her face in the delicious food.

Whichaway spent most of the evening engaged in friendly bickering with Snaproll. She sat next to the pegasus stallion, and though they were arguing throughout the whole meal, Moondancer noticed that Whichaway had managed to insinuate herself closer to Snaproll and he either didn't seem to mind or-more likely, Moondancer thought- was unaware of the pegasus mare working her feminine wiles on him.

Despite the deliciousness of the meal, Moondancer found her gaze wandering back over to Braeburn. She wondered how he managed to eat so neatly despite having no magic to his name. Braeburn spent the meal listening to Sazerac yammer on about the history of the dish or how he'd seasoned the breadcrumbs. Once or twice, he'd glanced over at Moondancer and given her a wink, which did funny things to her stomach that she didn't care to contemplate.

After dinner wound down, Moondancer bid good evening to the other ponies and trotted over to her adobe cottage. There was, mercifully, a break in the weather, though she could see another storm looming on the horizon. Though the hour wasn't late, she decided to turn in. Considering the brisk run into the Center from their campsite that morning and the excitement involving Whichaway's arrival, not to mention the...thankfully...averted argument with Braeburn, nothing seemed more attractive than curling up into bed with a nice book and reading herself gently to sleep.

She briskly brushed her teeth, spent a few minutes brushing out the knots in her mane and tail, decided that she would shower in the morning, and then began to peruse her bookshelves for something to read.

I want something just right. Something stimulating, but not TOO engaging, otherwise I won't fall asleep.

She found her eyes lingering on several different tomes as she idly perused her bookshelves. Love Potions No. 1-438...Great Romances of the Post-Chaos War, Stallions are from Mars; Mares are from Venus...No, none of these will quite do... She sighed, pushed these other choices aside, and then levitated a tome from the shelf. She looked down at the brown wooden cover of the book and muttered "Old Reliable" to herself as she regarded "A Compendium of The Life Of Starswirl The Bearded, Volume 2 of 197" as it hovered in her magic before her. Granted, Starswirl the Bearded was commonly regarded as the Father of Modern Magical Theory, and his memoirs were fantastically good reading, Volume 2 was considered the dullest and worst of the bunch as it focused on Starswirl's primary education as a foal. As such, it was useful for only three things: Historians interested in how education was conducted two millenia ago, Starswirl fans, or ponies wishing to fall asleep in a hurry. Moondancer felt she qualified on at least two out of those three criteria.

Sighing, she curled up in bed with the book, doused the lamps in the house, levitated her glasses onto her bedside table, and used her horn to provide a modest illumination as she read.

*******

Three hours later, Moondancer hurled the Compendium against the wall in frustration. She'd just spent the last twenty minutes re-reading the same sentence, couldn't remember a word of it,and didn't feel the least bit tired.

AAAAAARGH!!! What in Tartarus is wrong with me?!? She rose from under her covers with a groan and trotted to the bathroom, grumbling to herself. Using her magic, she ran the faucet, gathered a trio of hooffuls of water, and washed her face. The cool water helped her gather her thoughts and bring them under control.

Okay...so, the whole time you were reading about Starswirl's Solinade Dances, you were thinking about Braeburn. That's got to be some part of what's irritating you. She frowned as she splashed more cold water on her face. Because he really is irritating! She shook her head, dashing water off her face and mane as she thought.

Okay...let's focus on the why...Why do I find him Irritating? The answer didn't immediately present itself.

*******

A half hour later, Moondancer was ready. She sat on her haunches in a lotus position in the center of her room, a quartet of candles set at each of the cardinal directions burned merrily around her. Since she'd attended Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, Moondancer had found meditation to be a particularly effective tool at organizing her thoughts and clearing her mind.

She took a deep, cleansing breath in through her nostrils, and then out again through her mouth. She repeated this process five more times, until she felt her body begin to relax into its meditative posture, and her mind begin to clear. Satisfied she was suitably relaxed, she closed her eyes, and began her introspection.

Braeburn...why do I find him irritating...what is it about this stallion that vexes me?

She closed her eyes, and began to focus on what she knew of the stallion...his impressive physique...his willingness to shoulder the heaviest burden...his compassion to the injured...his easy, good natured smile...is open and honest green eyes, that radiated kindness and honesty...

Odd... Moondancer thought, in her detached, meditative state, ...None of these particular features should be irritating...so why do I find them so troublesome... oh NO!

Her eyes snapped open and flicked toward the bathroom mirror.

She could see herself holding a perfect lotus position; back straight, rear hooves crossed, head held high and forelegs crossed in her lap.

What was truly impossible to ignore were the myriad pink hearts percolating over her head.

She swore and fell out of the lotus position as she scrambled on all four hooves to the bookshelf, muttering aloud "Where is it... WHERE IS IT?!?" Using her forehooves and magic, she began flinging books one after another off the shelves behind her, arcing into a large pile in the middle of the room.

Finally, she found what she was looking for; a small, pink bound tome, with a cerulean heart embossed on the front cover, beneath the title: "When You're In Love; A Mare's Guide to Recognizing the Signs You've Found Your Special Somepony"
Beneath the heart was a post-script to the title, A Comprehensive Guide by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza

Moondancer practically tore the small book in half as she opened it and began scanning the book. Okay...okay...I've had a desire to kiss him, sure, but does that mean...TARTARUS!!! ...Wait, here! I can't keep my eyes off of him, surely that has to mean... She turned the page. BLAST IT!!! Okay, there has to be something else, some logical refutation for why I can't stop thinking about his smile, or his physique, or how his flanks are so taut...

She read for an hour...then another. After she finished the chapter titled "So, You can't stop thinking about his smile, build, or how his flanks are really, really taut", Moondancer set the book down with a groan as she flopped on the bed.

"Oh Celestia...it's worse than I thought...I..." She gulped as she rolled onto her back... "I love him!"

Slumber

Moondancer couldn't believe it, and, yet, the evidence before her seemed incontrovertible; She had the hots for the rustic earth stallion and she them it bad.

She started pacing back and forth in her bedroom, muttering to herself, trying to get her thoughts in order.

"I mean...there's no way I could love him! I mean, sure, he's strong and handsome, and kind, and he's got a voice like honey on warm bread..." She trailed off as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, radiating hearts more than ever.

"ARRRGH! Got to stop thinking about HIM! But how can I when I just want to...to...do...THINGS to him! I want him to do...THINGS to me!" She felt herself blushing as she started rubbing her forehead with a hoof, frustrated in every sense of the word. Finally, she let out a sigh and glanced at the wall clock, which showed that it was a quarter past one in the morning.

"Okay filly... let's revisit this in the morning. Now that I know what's driving it...things we know how to address it. And I can just...ignore it. I know what it is, and I can deal with it that way."

She trotted to the bathroom, filled a glass with water, gulped it down, and then returned to her bed, thoroughly tired and irritated with herself.

Luckily, however, she seemed to be dozing off to sleep this time. As her eyes started to drift shut, she had one final coherent thought.

It wouldn't be the worst thing, she sleepily thought, her thinking growing increasingly fuzzy, If I had a big strong stallion to snuggle with...

And with that, Moondancer drifted gently off to sleep, uttering a noise that only the most uncharitable pony would refer to as a snore.

*******

MEX-I-CO-OLT MEX-I-COLT!
AWAY, SANTY ANNO!
MEX-I-COLT IS A PLACE I KNOW!
A-LONG THE PLAINS OF MEX-I-COLT!

Moondancer suddenly became aware of a chorus of stallions around her, singing lustily in a ragged harmony. Curious, she began to take stock of her surroundings.

The first thing she noticed was that she stood on the deck of what was unmistakably a sailing ship, rolling on the ocean. In the distance astern, she could see a harbor receeding towards the horizon. Around her, stallions of every description were bustling about the ship, clad in striped shirts, bandanas, eyepatches, and at least one wooden leg. Two in the Bosun's case. To a stallion, their voices were raised in song.

SKIPPER LIKES WHISKEY, THE MATE LIKES RUM!
AWAY, SANTY ANNO!
THE CREW LIKES BOTH, BUT WE CAN'T HAVE NONE!
A-LONG THE PLAINS OF MEX-I-COLT!

As she took in her surroundings, Moondancer started to realize the shanty was dictating the rhythm of the ship. Here, a cluster of stallions hauled on a rope that raised the mainsail in unison, while there, another cluster of stallions were scrubbing the oaken wood of the deck in time with the rest of the crew.

Glancing down at herself, Moondancer was surprised to find herself wearing a dress at least a century old, complete with petticoats, ruffles, and skirts, while she clutched an open parasol that hovered in her magic overhead, providing her with shade. She also realized, belatedly, she stood on the ship's...quarterdeck, she thought the term was, near the helm, and had a commanding view of the deck before her.

"Beggin yore pardon, miss, but you may want to get below. Seas are liable to get rough, this time of year."

She turned to respond to the voice at her shoulder and felt her heart beat faster. The ship's captain stood at her flank, wearing a nattily turned out uniform of navy blue wool turned out with gold braid, golden buttons, and a fine hat held in one fetlock to one side, clearly in a position of respect for her sex and station.

He was also, unmistakeably, Braeburn.

"I'll be fine here, Captain." She found herself replying to him. "If it's no trouble to you, I've never been to sea and would like to see as much as possible."

Braeburn nodded, fixed his hat on his head, and gave her a smile. This did funny things to Moondancer's stomach and she felt herself go weak in the legs, so much so that she almost missed his next statement. "It's no trouble at all, miss. Just see that you stay close by me, y'hear?"

Moondancer felt a thrill of longing and, indeed, lust roll through her as she replied, sidling up so she was standing just touching his shoulder with hers. "I assure you, sir, that will be no trouble on my part."

NASSAU MARES AIN'T GOT NO COMB!
AWAY, SANTY ANNO!
THEY COMBS THEIR MANES WITH A KIPPER BACK BONE!
ALONG THE PLAINS OF MEX-I-COLT!

At her side, Braeburn raised his voice and called in a voice that carried across the deck. "A'ight, stallions, make your course two points to port, and hang out all the laundry!"

The crew somehow managed to respond with a hearty "AYE AYE, SIR!" in the middle of their shanty.

"How art thou finding thine dreamscape, Lady Moondancer?"

Moondancer gave a start as she wheeled to view the new voice. The helms-pony had three wooden legs, wore a red-spotted bandana over long flowing, starlit hair, and, most improbably, a pair of eye patches. She used her one good hoof to lift one of these up, and was regarding Moondancer with a wry smile on her muzzle.

"P-Princess Luna!"

The dusky alicorn smiled and nodded her head. "The same."

"What..." Moondancer gulped "I mean...if you don't mind my asking..."

"What is it that I am doing here?" Princess Luna arched a brow, though a wry grin crossed her muzzle. "Thy dream appeared most appealing." Her voice turned wistful as she continued. "During my banishment, I missed the Golden Age of Sail in Equestria and, though there are countless histories detailing the deeds both heroic and barbaric during that time, It's not the same as seeing it first-hoof."

Moondancer frowned at this. "But...this...is still a dream, isn't it."

"Oh yea, verily." Luna nodded vigorously, flipping both eyepatches back over her eyes. She sighed and flipped them back upright again. "But, as you may be aware, dreams can approximate reality with a remarkable degree of verisimilitude." The Princess of the Night waived her one good hoof airily. "All I ask is, don't mind me. Act as if I am not here. This is, after all, your dream."

Moondancer glanced over at the Dream Braeburn standing proudly on the deck next to them, and then back at Princess Luna. "Actually, your Highness...If you don't mind, I'd like to pick your brain on a few things."

"Why, certainly, my loyal subject! Thou hast but to ask and I shalt render my opinion."

Moondancer parsed that from old Equestrian, and then continued. "Well, you see, It has to do with this certain...stallion." She jerked a forehoof discreetly towards Braeburn. "That one, to be precise."

"Ah... I see." Princess Luna gave Braeburn a thorough once over. "I take it he is not the the product of your imagination?"

"Oh no, he's quite real." Moondancer thought for a beat, and then added "Though he's typically in more Western gear than Admiralty. I happen to work with him and...and..." The next words out of her came in a rush.
"AndIjustdiscoveredthatI'mheadoverhoovesinlovewithhimandIhaveNOIDEAwhattodoaboutitbecauseI'veneverbeeninLOVEbeforeinmylifecouldyouhelpmeplease?" She gave her best beseeching look at Princess Luna.

The Princess raised an imperious eyebrow as she looked over Moondancer, than back over to Braeburn. Moondancer noticed her gaze lingered over the earth stallion, and she felt an irrational spike of jealousy, which she suppressed. Even if Princess Luna fancied Braeburn, one didn't cause a scene in front of one of the most powerful beings on the face of Equs.
At length, Princess Luna spoke. "I do see what thou likest. He is both strong and fair of countenance." She shook her head. "In truth, I do wish my niece Cadenza were here to render her advice, though it has been many a day since she has gone dreamwalking with me. Evidently her new foal has disrupted her and her beau's sleep patterns something dreadful." Luna gave a shake of her head, her midnight mane floating around her. "Love, especially of the one thou describest is not precisely my forte, though I will try and render what advice I can give."

Luna turned and gave Moondancer a frank glare. "The philosopher Aristrotle once said that if Love were so easily defined and pinned down, then the poets and sages would have long ago defined it. It's a finnicky force, Lady Moondancer, and more powerful than any other in the universe. And believe me when I say that I have seen a lot of power, and, through the dreams of mine and mine sister's subjects, many, many universes. Furthermore, it is not something that one defies just because they wish it so. Thou can'st defy thine own heart, Lady Moondancer, any more than thou can'st defy the rising of my sister's sun or mine own moon, nor the passage of time, or the rise and fall of the tides. Thou can only act upon the love you feel...or let it wither and die. And, even though I art older than thou by a thousand years or more, believe me when I say that life is too short to let such opportunities pass thee by."

Moondancer thought what Princess Luna said over for a minute. "So you're saying that ignoring how I feel about Braeburn would...be a bad idea?"

"Worse even than Wrongway Peachfuzz's idea that Timberwolves would be the greatest Hearthswarming Gift for fillies and colts across Equestria." Princess Luna nodded, satisfied. "I will say this, though, Lady Moondancer...I will assist you in your endeavor in any way I can." Her horn flashed a brilliant blue, which radiated across the ship, unnoticed by every other pony in the dreamscape. "Mine own advice to you is to act when you can, where you can. Carpe noctem, so to speak."

Moondancer nodded, considering the words from the Princess of Night. She's right. I can't let things pass me by.I'm going to WIN that stallion's heart, if it's the last thing I do. I have to seize the moment...starting right now.

She felt a surge of breathless anticipation as she said to Princess Luna. "I think you're right, your highness. If you'd excuse me for a moment."

Moondancer closed her parasol with her magic and tucked it to one side as she stepped closer to Braeburn, who was gazing around him. It could have been the dream talking, but Moondancer thought he'd never looked more...dashing in that uniform, and decided to give her desires free rein. After all, it's clearly a dream, isn't it?

"Begging your pardon, Captain." She said, doing her best to contain her rising excitement and heat.

Braeburn turned to her, taking off his hat once again. "Miss Moondancer? What can Ah do for ya?"

Moondancer pressed close to him, and breathed in his ear "I reconsidered that I'd rather return to my cabin..." She gave his ear a nibble before she finished the rest of her statement, "Except I'd prefer that you accompanied me there." She withdrew and gave him her best eyelash flutter.

"Uh...Lady Moondancer..." she heard Princess Luna say quietly behind her, but Moondancer ignored the Nightly Sovereign as she pressed forward. "I'm ever so inexperienced being aboard a ship...perhaps a handsome stallion like yourself could...show me the way?"

A massive blush blossomed across Braeburn's face as he tugged the collar of his uniform with a hoof. "Well Ah...Ah'm not sure I should...take advantage of a lady such as yourself..."

"Lady Moondancer, a word, if you please?"

Moondancer felt herself melt against Braeburn and threw caution to the wind. "Suppose that I wish you to...take advantage of me, you handsome stallion?"

"LADY MOONDANCER!"

"WHAT? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORTH INTERRUPTING THIS FOR?" Moondancer rounded on Princess Luna, visibly frustrated and angry. "I'M SEIZING THE MOMENT HERE, AND I'D LIKE TO SEIZE A FEW MORE THINGS IF YOU DON'T MIND!"

Princess Luna coughed into her hoof. "Well...I thought you should know..." She pointed at the flabbergasted and blushing Braeburn. "While we were conversing I merged your dreamscape with that of your desired mate. That is the real Braeburn standing before thee."

*******

Moondancer sat bolt upright in bed, sweating and breathing hard. She felt a torturous mixture of arousal, disappointment, mortification and pure unadulterated dread at what had just happened. She glanced out her bedroom window at the moonlit desert beyond, focusing on trying to get her breathing under control.
"It's okay...it's okay...it was...it was just a dream...wasn't it?"

She glanced at the clock. In the dim half light of the evening and without her glasses, she couldn't quite tell if it was three twenty in the morning or a quarter past four. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head.

It seemed to the frustrated mare that the universe was conspiring to deny her anything she wanted that night. That being the case, she tried to drift off back to sleep.

Author's Note

Please welcome this week's special guest, Princess Luna!
APPLAUSE

Also, if anyone's curious, the Shanty In Question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atumHTucDLU

And as a final note, I wish you all a happy and thoughtful Armistice Day Centennial.

Progression

One week after her dream with Princess Luna, Moondancer was ready to tear out her mane in frustration. Thankfully, whether through not remembering or discounting it as a fanciful working of his subconscious, Braeburn made no mention of the dream as well, although secretly Moondancer fervently hoped that it was an elaborate prank being put upon her by at least one of the Diarchs, if not by her former colleague, Twilight Sparkle. Then again, some parts of her yearned that Braeburn would approach her in some quiet place, and confess his undying love for her after the strange dream she had.

Sadly, this did not happen.

Instead, she spent the next few days working in close proximity with the rustic stallion, performing tests, running experiments, and doing her level best to not grab him by the lapels of his vest, plant a massive kiss on his unsuspecting lips and declare in no uncertain terms her firey passion and desire to bear his foals.

Even worse, the week spent in his close proximity seemed to deepen her attraction further. To be sure, the earth pony stallion was physically attractive. Moondancer wished nothing further than to frolic in his luxurious blonde mane, to breathe deep his earthy scent of apples, leather, and sweat, and to trace the lines of his corded muscles with her hooves. Or Tongue. Or both.

"Are you feelin' ok, Miss Moondancer? You're lookin' a li'l..." The stallion in question was gazing at her, his honest features concerned. He took one of her forehooves in his and felt for a pulse. Moondancer blushed and thought as hard as she could at him No, i'm not alright, you had best carry me back to my bedchambers, hurl me down onto my bed, and then have your way with me. Ride off with me into the sunset, you ravishing, handsome stallion you. Take me in your hooves and make me yours!

Outwardly, she said "Oh. No, I'm alright, Braeburn. It's just been...well, it's been a long week." She shuddered and gave him a tired smile that, she hoped, covered up how much she was blushing.

~~💕~~
Five Days Ago

"Arright...Centrifuges off."

Moondancer's horn lit up as she begun to stop the devices spinning. "Beginning to slow them down." She levitated a pen in her magic and started making notations. "Estimated time to finishing spin, thirty seconds." She paused, and, grateful she had an excuse to glance over at Braeburn, looked over at him. "So, remind me again, why we're hyper-refining Poison Joke in industrial quantities?"

Braeburn swept his stetson from his head with one hoof and set it on the counter before him. "Well, there's a theory that we might somehow manage to pin down its properties and somehow use them to fight crippling diseases or major disfigurements." He ran a hoof through his blonde mane and frowned at the instruments before him, continuing the thought. "The trick is, we have to make shore it's ultra-refined, and there's jus' one place in Equestria that kin do that."

Just then, a red warning light started to blink on the console before him. Braeburn snatched his hat from the counter and planted it on his head. "Centrifuge Number Fower is reading increased rotational acceleration, increasing to six thousand RPM."

Moondancer stood, her horn flashing as she activated the controls. "Attempting to override." A second later, she shook her head, worry starting to creep into her voice. "Override unresponsive. Attempting manual control."

Braeburn crossed over to a bank of magical circuit breakers. "Hol' on. Tryin' to cut off power to the centrifuge." With a mighty heave, he tripped the pair of breakers to Centrifuge Number 4.

Moondancer rose to her hooves as the light continued flashing, accompanied now by an alarm klaxon. "Centrifuge Four's rotation is increasing, reading eight thousand RPM...SIXTEEN thousand RPM..Thirty-" She felt a jerk around her neck as Braeburn grabbed her by the back of her sweater.

"C'mon, run fer it!" He pushed her towards the doors from the lab, and Moondancer's heart pounded in terror as she tried to get her hooves motivated in some sort of order as the pair fled towards the lab doors. The doors, for their part, held resolutely shut. The pair tried to shove against them, Braeburn shoving hard with his powerful hooves and Moondancer conjuring several kinetic bludgeons with her magic. The earth pony stallion grimaced after the third time and frowned. "T'aint no use. The lab's fail-safes've kicked in to prevent contamination."

In unison, the pair turned to stare at the row of centrifuges along the far wall. Their gazes lit upon the fourth from the left, which had started to glow a dull red that, as they watched, brightened to a virulent orange. They glanced back at each other, and Moondancer felt herself blushing. Tell him! You might not get another chance to! He deserves to know how you feel! Do you want to go to your grave knowing you left things unsaid? She opened her mouth to speak, but then Braeburn pushed her body behind his, shielding her from the malfunctioning centrifuge. He turned to look at her, and said "Miss Moondancer, whutever happens-"

And then, several things happened.

The whine of the centrifuges increased to an infernal howl, and, over Braeburn's shoulder, she could see Number Four glowing white hot an instant before it tore itself apart in an inferno of molten metal and clouds of billowing blue gas. She sought out Braeburn's eyes. She had no idea what was going to happen, but she was determined that, if these were her final moments, that she would spend them looking at this magnificent stallion. As the blue cloud reached them, she felt a dizzying sensation and it felt like she was rushing toward his eyes...

And then the blue mist started to fade.

~~~~

Outside the lab, Snaproll pounded on the door. "Hey! Hey guys! Are you ok?!"

The intercom from inside the lab piped up, and a mare's voice spoke up. "Uh...yeah, Snap. We are doing just fine. Looking at results, the concentrated Poison Joke seems to be remarkably unstable. Give us a few seconds and it should be safe for you to enter."

"Oh, thank the Sisters." The pegasus' voice was filled with relief. "What in Tartarus' toenails happened?"

A stallion's voice spoke up. "Ah cain't be shore, but ah think we had, uh, catastrophic failure in one of the centrifuges. Oh, whoop..."

Just then the doors opened, and Snaproll poked his head around the corner, staring at a furiously blushing Braeburn and a somewhat bemused Moondancer. The pegasus arched a quizzical eyebrow. "Huh...I thought Poison Joke had weird effects on ponies."

Moondancer opened her mouth to speak. "Ah-I mean, I think that what happens with normal Poison Joke is that its effects are metabolized over the course of twelve hours or so. I don' quite know what it will do in it's refined state, but it's given its refined state, it could run its course a lot faster." She glanced aside at Braeburn, who seemed to be in a funk, then dug his ribs with a forehoof.

The earth pony stallion straightened up and said "Shore 'nuff! That sounds like it, fore shore!"

Snaproll glanced between the two of them, frowning. "So...you're fine then?"

Moondancer nodded. "Oh yes, absolutely." She glanced at Braeburn, then dug him in his side again.

"Durn tootin'!"

The pegasus stallion nodded. "Ok then...But if anything goes wrong, I want you to report to Saz for a full medical report."

Moondancer nodded. "Will do! See you in a few, Snap."

Once the pegasus retreated from earshot, she turned to Braeburn and sighed. "A'right, Miz Moondancer, Ah think Ah've got the Poison Joke antidote around here, somewheah..."

~~💕~~

Brareburn coughed politely. "Yes, well, ah...I mean, it's not often somethin' like that backfires on this facility. Especially not in any sorta body switchin' way." He lifted a hat, though Moondancer was pleased to see him blushing slightly. "Granted, not that yours was a body that wasn't pleasurable to be in, mind."

Trust me, that's not the way I wanted you to get inside my body either! Moondancer thought to herself. Outwardly, she said "I suppose we should have taken notes. If nothing else, it would have made for interesting comparative reading."

Braeburn coughed into one hoof. "You do have a point there, ah suppose. Somethin' for later experimentation, perhaps." He looked abashed. "Though, truth be told, it's not like we haven't had other things go wrong...

~~💕~~
Four days ago...

"Get it off, get it off!" Moondancer came pelting around the corner to find an improbable sight. Sazerac stood by the entrance to the Stallion's bathrooms, his left forehoof wrapped by one of several improbably large green and purple spotted tentacles that were writhing and spiraling their way past the swinging doors. Braeburn, a firepony's axe clenched resolutely between his forehooves, swung with all his might and hacked at the offending tentacle halfway through.

"I-uh, what is going on?!" Moondancer half shouted into the confusion.

"Gang way!" she heard a shout from behind her as Snaproll, followed closely by Whichaway, come flying down the hallway, each carrying buckets filled with rock salt. The pegasus stallion shouted as he flew past "Interdimensional Phasing Commode Cephalapods! It's their migration season! They don't normally cause a fuss, it's just this year, we'd had the septic tank freshly pumped!" The two pegasi flung their buckets of rock salt over the tentacles, which hissed and started retreating back into the toilets.

Braeburn swung his axe, fending off a tentacle that had been snaking its way back towards Sazerac. "It ain't no septic tank cleanin' that's attractin' 'em, Ah done told you already, yeh cain't use no bleach when you clean the toilets this time o' year, the durned fellers feed off the danged stuff!"

~~💕~~

Moondancer shook her head. "I'll be honest, It's not every day that a filly gets to help fight off interdimensional Cephalapods." She frowned. "But what about the issue with the scientific library?"

~~💕~~
Yesterday

Moondancer muttered to herself as she perused the shelves of the (admittedly small and narrowly focused) library for the research institute. She had been searching for a copy of Commander Hurricane's Treatise on The Natural Occurrence of Weather Patterns and The Reasonings Thereof...or at least, that had been her pretense. Really, she had been hoping in vain the library had something that would help her with her less academic pursuits...ideally something like The Complete Idiots Guide to Talking to Stallions or, even more helpful, something like Miss Rarity Belle's new bestseller, How to get the Stallion of your Dreams to Sweep you Off your Hooves Without Even Trying While Still Maintaining Your Feminine Dignity, But it seemed the research institute hadn't deemed it Scientifically Rigorous enough to merit adding a copy.

"Let's see...Non-Fiction 256.8 through 259.9...Where is it...OH!" To her considerable surprise, she rounded a stack of books to find, of all things, an Orangutan quietly shelving books. He turned to look at her with simian curiosity. "Ook?"

"Oh! I'm sorry-"

"OOK!" He held up a finger before his face and gave her a look that would have been humorous had it not been also severe. Abashed, she whispered. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

"Ook."

"Do you know where I can find a reference on Clover the Clever's Essaye on The Natural Feductionf of Ftallionf? I was wondering if there was a copy- Oh! Thank you!" She said, as the orangutan lifted a heavy volume from the top shelf and held it up for her inspection. "That's just what I was looking for, thank you." She levitated the book into her saddlebags and glanced around. "Um...since you're here..."

"Ook?"

"I don't suppose you have any ideas on how a filly is to declare her undying affection to a stallion?"

The orangutan gave her a flat glare, before pointing a finger towards the library exit and giving her a weary "Ook."

"Ah...I'll show myself out."

~~💕~~

Braeburn just waved a hoof. "Aw, that's jus' Horace. He pops in every now'n then to cross-reference the Library. Helps out too if you get shunted into L-Space."

"L-what?"

"Ah, we'll look into that later. So," He leaned in, raising his eyebrows, "Me & Sazerac were gonna head into town fer a meetin' an' hoedown. Wanna come along?"

"What, into town? With you?"

Braeburn nodded. "And Sazerac, though he said he was gon' stock up on somethin' or other for the kitchens and such. Ah thought that you might appreciate the change of scenery." He held out a hoof for her, smiling easily. "D'you wanna come along?"

Moondancer was unsure that she would be able to stand, her knees were so weak, but she took his hoof in hers and stood. "Sure...I would love to."

Author's Note

Wow, it's been a while!

It's been nice to come back to this story. What will happen next?

The world wonders. And Happy Nightmare Night!

Sojurn

Author's Note

Been a minute since I've updated this. If you're still paying attention after all this time, good to see you!

This upcoming bit's pretty suggestive so ~~make sure your parents don't catch you reading~~ it's unsuitable for those under a certain age.

Enjoy!

Sojurn

"Don't worry about us, Braeburn. Whichaway and I can hold down the fort 'till you get back." Snaproll waved a hoof airily while Braeburn looked on, a dubious expression on the earth pony's face. "Besides, you left us detailed instructions. And you're going to be gone for, what, a day and a half?"

Moondancer watched as Braeburn settled his hat on his head, his expression clearing.

"Two nights minimum. Depends on how it goes in town." Braeburn glanced back at his feathered friend. "Yer not gonna ferget that lightning storm tomorrow, are ya? The capacitors are starting to run low. Could be an issue if-"

"If we don't keep them powered up, I know, I know." Snaproll finished, as if he'd heard it all before. "Don't sweat it, boss. Sides, Whichaway's a pretty deft hoof at weather control. Shouldn't be a problem." He gave Braeburn a shrewd look. "Besides, we'd let the place alone before. You sure the lab isn't what you're nervous about?"

The earth pony stallion gave the pegasus a level look. "That's when we didn't have experiments runnin'. Or when you had a lightnin' storm to look after. Or-"

"Would you relax? We've got this under control."

"Yeah, sure you do. Jus' don't let yerself be distracted by a pretty face." With that, Braeburn turned and started fussing around with the load of the wagon he was going to haul into town.

As Moondancer watched, she heard Snaproll mutter under his breath "I could say the same to you, buster." With that he shook his head and flew off towards the main lab building. Moondancer pondered that as she watched Braeburn work, contemplating his musculature and, a small part of her admitted to herself, idly daydreaming about what else he might use his muscles for. Part of her was able to muse over Snaproll's comment. Surely he's noticed something I haven't...Stallions have to gossip about this sort of thing...Don't they? She frowned at herself. Maybe I should write some of the old crowd at Canterlot... Lyra might not have the best insight about stallions, but surely Minuette or Twinkleshine would have some ideas. Or at least advice. Princesses know, Twinkleshine isn't having her third foal because some stallion fancied her treatise on Clover the Clever's Multiverse Theorim .

Moondancer sighed and shouldered her saddlebags. Truth be told, she was starting to give up all hope on the sex in general 1.
1:The Gender, not The Act. Pervert.

According to her research (conducted by reading sociology journals, academic research and dubious paperback romance novels), Stallions were supposed to be incapable of contemplating few things outside The Act. One article she'd read suggested that Stallions contemplated copulation every three seconds. Moondancer's experience may have been somewhat limited, but she may have had to discount the research she had undertaken. If that article was true, it'd be a wonder stallions could accomplish anything at all. Moondancer sighed to herself. It's time to conduct research firsthoof. 2

2: About Stallions, not...oh why bother, you're going to think it anyway, aren't you? Just...wash your hooves before you touch anything around here. Honestly.

Granted, she hadn't the foggiest idea how to undergo said research, at least without compromising her dignity, image & self respect. Some of what she had read had suggested that consuming cider, beer, or other spirits would lead to circumstances where she could conduct her research, but, frustratingly, odds were excellent that she wouldn't have the presence of mind to record her observations in any acceptable form of detail.

Hmm...how would Twilight handle this sort of situation?

*******

Deep within the bowels of the Castle of Friendship, Thunderlane slowly regained consciousness. He found each of his hooves had been bound to the four corners of a four poster bed, and the surrounding room lit with candles. The air was redolent of the smell of incense, flowers, smoking sagebrush and... something else he couldn't quite put his hoof on...even if it hadn't been restrained.

"Comfortable?" A sultry alto voice spoke, and Twilight Sparkle prowled into his peripheral vision, her eyes hooded, her wings unfurled and her tail daringly hiked. "I'd like to thank you in advance for participating in this Friendship Study. Please, do try to remember your impressions as best you can, as there will be a questionnaire and survey afterward."

A number of objects levitated in Twilight's lavender aura around her. Thunderlane recognized several of them, and grew increasingly worried as the alligator clips, calipers, aubergine, and a rubber mallet grew closer. "Uh...wait a se-" He was unable to finish, as a red rubber ball was jammed into his mouth. Twilight moved closer, smoldering fires gleaming in her eyes.

"Let's get started."

"Mrflblbl?"

Twilight leaned in and started to nibble on one of Thunderlane's ears. "The safe word," she breathed between tender bites, "is 'Tonsillectomy'."

"HRRMLLRRRMGM!"

*******

Moondancer shrugged to herself. Probably sequester herself in the library, doing indecent things to a perfectly good anatomy textbook. Back during their tenure at Celestia's Academy, the two fillies had always undergone practical study of Magic and Sorcery, though as Moondancer and Twilight had aged, they'd drifted away from the more practical experiments. By and large, Twenty Thaums plus Twenty Thaums always equaled Forty Thaums, except in strange, exceptional circumstances where, against all logic, you got Fifty Thaums and a Haycon Sandwich. Still, that level of predictability had been good enough for Academia.

Still, it's not going to be enough. I'm going to have to take matters into my own hooves here. And that means sticking to Braeburn like...like...like some appropriate folksy idiom. She glanced over at Braeburn, who, to her consternation, was gazing at her. Blushing furiously, Moondancer ran a hoof through her mane, making sure nothing was out of place. Braeburn trotted over, hauling his cart with a casual strength. Moondancer tried not to notice, but was also distracted by how her heart started racing and she seemed to be short of breath.

"You ready to head into town, Miss Moondancer?"

Confidence! You can do this! Get him to notice you! She took a deep breath and stood straight, her head raised and a smile on her face, projecting a confidence she wasn't entirely certain was justified. "Absolutely! Let's get going!"

Flick your tail at him as you leave! That'll get him interested!

She did.

***🔷🔷🔷 ***

"I'm really sorry, Braeburn."

"It's fine, Miss Moondancer."

"No, really! I swear, my tail seems to have a mind of its own, sometimes."

"You don't hafta say anythin' more, Miss Moondancer. Ah promise you, Ah'm fine."

They walked in silence down the trail for another minute before Moondancer spoke again. "Would you like me to change your ice pack for you?"

"Naw, though I'm much obliged to you for having it in the first place." Braeburn paused along the trail and lifted the ice pack from his swollen left eye. "The pain's more or less gone away, and Ah can sorta see through it a bit." He tossed the ice pack into the wagon behind him. "Best to jes' let nature run 'er course."

"I'm sorry, again. For whatever it's worth." Moondancer trotted over to his right side, and just ahead. While Braeburn's field of view was reduced by half, she wanted to dominate it as much as possible. Moondancer knew she would have been kidding herself if she thought she'd possessed the Ideal Feminine Physique, but then again, she was reasonably certain that Stallions appreciated the female form in all its myriad shapes and sizes. Calm down, Moondancer. She thought to herself, glancing back over her withers at the stallion and giving him a shy smile. It's not like he's going to lose control of his urges and...what was the passage again? Take you roughly, yet tenderly, here in broad daylight and... She used her magic to wipe a small tendril of drool from her lips.

Let's hope we get to town soon before I distract myself into a stupor. And maybe I'll write Twinkleshine, and see if she can give me any advice.

***🌙 ***

As they trotted into Appleoosa, Moondancer was able to take in more details that she hadn't quite noticed on her initial arrival.

While the streets were unpaved, nearly all the homes they trotted past had flower boxes mounted under their windows or next to their doors, where there grew a variety of local flowers and herbs. Those that didn't invariably were home to the other sentient races of Equestria. She noted a score of Buffalo teepees along the outskirts of town, a half dozen cabins home to a like number of Griffon families, a young familiy of Kirin, an one elderly minotaur who was tending his cactus garden, and, if the telltale green glow that appeared just before a resident left was any indication, at least one changeling.
Furthermore, other than the temporary-seeming teepee structures of the buffalo, a good number of the cottages and buildings seemed to be recently built additions to the town.

She glanced over at Braeburn, who, true to his word, seemed to be recovering from the accidental shiner Moondancer had bestowed him with earlier. "I didn't notice it the first time I came through, but your town appears to be growing rapidly."

Braeburn glanced at her and grinned, which did funny things to Moondancer's insides and made her feel like it was her own personal sunrise. "Shore 'nuff. Appleoosa's done grown a bit since my kinfolk settled down here. Plenty of ponies an' other folk're attracted to come out thisaway. Some want a fresh start, some see new opportunity...others jus' wanna get away from where it's all built up, git some fresh air in their lungs, find a place where they kin stretch out without half a city lookin' over everythin' they do." The earth pony stallion nodded over at what seemed to be a bare patch of ground dotted with holes. "Even had a pack o' diamond dogs set up shop over yonder. Their Alpha says there's interestin' mineral deposits under the town. Signed an agreement with the town council...they're installin' a ginu-wine sewer system in exchange for what they can excavate." The stallion shook his head, ruefully. "Truth be told, Ah never thought this place'd grow inter what she's become now. My kinfolk just wanted a place where they could grow apples." His mouth worked for a second, and Moondancer could see him trying to marshal his thoughts into some measure of coherence, grappling with ideas he hadn't earlier. Just as clearly, though, she could see that Braeburn took obvious pride in his hometown.

"Well," Moondancer hedged, smiling slightly, "Your...'kinfolk' must have done something right. After all, everypony here must see the same potential that they did here. It's a credit to your family to have attracted new talent and skills to your hometown. And who knows," she grinned and flicked her tail at him, making sure to do it gently and to miss any delicate parts of the stallion, "Maybe someday, Appleoosa will be as big as Canterlot or Manehattan."

Braeburn nodded, his eyes far away, considering. "Maybe...if that happens, though, Ah hope they don't ferget where they came from. Big towns like that got a way o' warpin' ponies minds."

Moondancer frowned. Twitterpated she might be about the stallion, she wasn't about to take a slight to her hometown lying down. "How do you mean?"

Braeburn shrugged. "Jess that folk from big towns like that tend to put stock in things where they don't belong is all. Always puttin' on airs or adoptin' highfalutin' fashions, tryin' ta git one over on their neighbors. Playin' status games about 'Ooo's got the fanciest cart!' or 'So-an'-so's colt got inter such-and-such's academy." He glanced back to Moondancer. "No offense intended to anypony from there, o'course. It's jess that there's a cumulative effect of that much status seekin' what goes on."

Moondancer was stung. "That's not entirely true!" She replied hotly. But a treacherous part of her mind spoke up. Would your parents have pushed you as hard to join Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns because you were talented, or did they do it because they wanted the bragging rights with their social circle? Granted, Moondancer's father was one of the harder working stallions she'd ever met, and her mother spent at least one day of the week clipping coupons to keep the household afloat and trying to find the best deals on a daily basis...but she couldn't deny that her parents had taken her acceptance and dedication to Academia as a banner to wave and gather social goodies. Moondancer felt herself grow angry, and she wasn't entirely certain if it was directed at her parents for playing the game, at Braeburn for possibly being right, or at herself for not having as much control over her emotions as she thought. After a minute of steady breathing to get herself under control, she spoke again.

"You're viewing everything in the most negative possible light."

Braeburn chuckled. "Ah ain't sayin' they don't got good reason to do what they do. Jess that Ah don't understand the need fer it is all." He frowned, his gaze staring ahead. "Huh...looks like there's somethin' goin' on up yonder."

Moondancer followed his gaze to a banner that was being lifted into position by a pair of pegasi while a pair of earth ponies on stepladders secured the ties to a lamppost and a hotel balcony. Judging by how the black paint on the banner was dripping, it had just been finished. As the ropes were tied, the sign steadied and she was able to read it: "Appleoosa Welcomes Pirncess Celestia for the Summre Sun Festival!!!!"

Both Moondancer and Braeburn drew up a short distance away, contemplating the sign. The silence between them stretched, while around them, the town was thrown into further bustle as bunting was raised between buildings and strings of lanterns were lofted into the streets. Finally, after several long minutes of interminable silence, Moondancer spoke.

"...I didn't realize that the Summer Sun Festival was tomorrow..."

Braeburn's voice held a note of wonder. "Appleoosa's never been chosen as a site for the Summer Sun Festival. It's gon' be a first for our town..."

Moondancer glanced around the town, then back up at the sign. "I wonder if they realize their sign's misspelled..."

Braeburn squinted back up at the banner. "Twice." He glanced around again. " We're gonna hafta git ourselves a place to sleep tonight...ain't gon' be room to swing a polecat here in a few hours, once news reaches the outlayin' farms."

Moondancer and Braeburn traded a look and they both nodded before saying, in unison "Let's go."

***☀***

"Here we go...finest hotel in Appleoosa as you could ask for!"

Moondancer did her level best to keep any sign of dismay or disgust off her face. She really did.

The Grand Appleoosan was, technically, a hotel, in the sense that they had rooms to rent for notional fees. The fact that the entire building was essentially a glorified and overlarge town house just across the square from Town Hall didn't escape Moondancer's notice, nor that the entire first floor was given over to a saloon and faro hall. Even then, the only reason that Braeburn had managed to secure them a room was because the pony working behind the front desk was one of his many, many relations.

Inside, the Hotel was decorated in dark-stained woods, deep crimson carpet and brass chandeliers festooned with candles. Beyond that, however, the trappings of a hotel that Moondancer expected were somewhat...lacking. For starters, she and Braeburn were expected to haul their luggage up to their own room, as the bellhop was nowhere in existence. Secondly, Room Service wasn't even suggested. Instead, as the desk pony suggested, she and Braeburn might want to partake in the impromptu Summer Sun Celebration festivities that were gaining steam outside. Finally, as they entered the room, did the final indignity become apparent.

"There's only one bed?!?"

"Accordin' to Cousin Cobbler, this was the last room they had." Braeburn took his stetson off and hung it on a nearby coatrack. "Don't you fret none, Miss Moondancer. You can have the room. Ah'll jess sack out on the sofa down in the parlor."

Moondancer struggled to speak. A bold and daring part of her struggled to say that she'd be happy for Braeburn to share the same bed, but it was quickly outvoted by other parts of her that didn't want to be seen as THAT kind of mare, thank you very much. She shook her head in a struggle to disrupt her warring sense of dignity and latent libido.

"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it." She floated her luggage off into one corner of the room. "You were saying that Appleoosa's never hosted a Summer Sun Celebration?"

Braeburn shook his head, giving her a sidelong glance. "Naw, never. This'll be a real feather in our hats for shore."

Moondancer smiled at him, hoping it came across as "Winning and Confident", rather than how she felt, which was more like "Nervous and Insecure".
"Braeburn, would you care to show me how your hometown celebrates?"

The earth pony stallion turned and contemplated her for a minute before he picked his stetson back off the hat rack and gave her an elegant bow. "Miss Moondancer, it'd be mah singular honor." He turned and held the door open for her. "Come, Miss. The evenin' awaits us."

They made their way out into the hall and back down the stairs to the parlor. They were about to exit the hotel when a creamy yellow and blue maned earth pony barreled into Braeburn from one side and threw both her forehooves around his neck.

"Braeburn, you hansome devil, where you been all this time!"

And with no further ado, she planted a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek, still hanging around his neck and withers.

"Fiddly Twang, as Ah live an' breathe! It's good to see you!"

Moondancer felt something hot, violent, and serrated erupt inside her as the strange mare planted another kiss on Braeburn's cheek, giggling as she said "It's been far too long since I've seen you, sugar!" The mare suddenly held him back at her foreleg's length, then glanced over at Moondancer. "And who's your li'l friend?" She said, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness.

Moondancer did all she could to keep her response to herself. Your competition, you rustic, blue maned hussy!
And she swore, then and there, that she would never play Second Fiddle3 to this interloping, pushy, unlettered mare.

3: Figuratively, not Literally, since Moondancer had few illusions about counteracting cutie-mark related talents.

A beat later, Moondancer realized that at least some part of the research she had conducted bore fruit. This was The Challenge she would be facing. She would have to prove to Braeburn that She, not this rustic yokel, would be an ideal mate and mother of his foals. Some part of her -the part that had half paid attention to her collegiate sociology lectures while the rest focused on completing her Advanced Thaumaturgy Homework- recoiled in horror at the thought of her debasing herself and making herself the object of desire for a stallion...Any stallion, but that part was quickly beaten into submission by the parts of Moondancer that wished to be closer to Braeburn in every sense, Carnal or Otherwise. Outwardly, she extended a hoof for the new mare to shake.
"Hi, My name's Moondancer." As her smile widened, Moondancer's eyes narrowed in anticipation. I'm your biggest competition. Pleased to meet you.

Burdens

As the course of the evening's festivities wore on, the ill thoughts Moondancer was harboring towards Fiddly Twang dwindled from hard, poisonous, serrated, and spiteful to merely flinty, acrid, and pointed, but no less spiteful. The two earth ponies clearly had too much history together for Moondancer's liking. They joked together about new additions to the town, laughed together over the trials of mutual acquaintances that were in a family way, and were finishing each other's sentences in a most alarming fashion. Indeed, it seemed to Moondancer that she had become a fifth wheel. As the trio made their way through Appleoosa, Moondancer couldn't help notice how Braeburn leaned in close to mutter something to Fiddly, who, for her part, erupted into peals of breathless laughter.

That said, Appleoosa in full swing of a five alarm, full throated Summer Sun Celebration was doing its very level best to lighten her spirits. True, the rustic frontier town didn't have the centuries of tradition, well rehearsed pageantry, or, certainly, the gravitas of even the traditional Canterlot iterations of the Summer Sun Celebrations that Moondancer was most used to. Instead, Appleoosa seemed to make up for its shortcomings with sheer, unadulterated Enthusiasm, with a Glorious absence of Sophistication that, Moondancer realized a half hour into the proceedings, had done little to contribute to the Celebration.

For starters, there was the entertainment. Every few paces, or so it seemed, stood a booth or a stall with games of skill, chance, or some combination thereof. At first blush, this seemed about par for the course to Moondancer, but what truly set them apart from the Canterlot celebrations was the attitude of the ponies and other beings running them. Back in Canterlot, the game attendants were fawningly obsequious, which was only fair considering the small pile of bits that one would have to hoof over to play.
By contrast, the Appleoosans cajoled, cadged, wheedled, and...Moondancer could only label it as Good Natured, Constructive Coercion. She discovered this to her dismay when they arrived at the first game: a hatchet throwing stall run by a good natured minotaur, assisted by a pegasus and a yak.

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly..." Moondancer shook his head and tried to back out of the stall.

"NONSENSE!" Bellowed the minotaur in response, brandishing a double bitted throwing axe and coming dangerously close to taking off one of his yak assistant's horns. "TUNGSTEN CARL1 KNOWS A NATURAL WHEN HE SEES ONE. STEP UP, SPECTACLED PONY, AND TEST YOUR SKILL!"
1: Second Cousin, once removed to another well known minotaur life coach, travel agent, and marriage counselor.

Fiddly Twang rolled her eyes. "Relax, bully boy. She ain't never dealt with farm implements before in her life, never mind an axe. She don't have to if she don't want to."

While this was most certainly true, Moondancer was struck by a sudden, burning desire to start flinging bladed weaponry around with shockingly reckless abandon.

"No..." She turned and glared back at Tungsten Carl. "On second thought, I would like to throw hatchets."

"EXCELLENT!" The hefty minotaur gestured to a table where lay an array of hatchets. "PAY ATTENTION TO THE INSTRUCTIONS OF CIRRUS BREEZE AND TORVALD! AND THE WORST THROWER MUST PAY THE PRICE." Tungsten Carl grinned wickedly in the light of the streetlamps.

***🎯***

To Moondancer's utter amazement, she was remarkably good at axe throwing. Granted, this may have had something to do with how she imagined Fiddly Twang's head at the center of the bullseye, but Moondancer was certain that if she actually did try to give free rein to the violent urges she'd been feeling, the Appleoosan Legal System would want to have a long and unpleasant conversation with her. 2 As it was, she'd managed to beat Braeburn by one point, which was why the earth pony stallion was standing on a hay bale in front of Tungsten Carl's stand before a crowd of excited onlookers.

2: Once he'd been extracted from the Dunk Tank he was running across the street, first.

"AH'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AN' STOUT!" Braeburn half sang, half shouted to be heard over the raucous crowd's jeering and catcalls. "HERE IS MY HANDLE..." The stallion hooked one of his forelegs out in front of him, but was overcome by laughter at his own predicament and the general merriment. As he took a deep breath to get himself under control, Fiddly Twang called out in a carrying yell "HE DON'T KNOW WHERE HIS SPOUT IS!" to uproarious laughter. Braeburn, for his part, blushed furiously and finished his song without any further interruptions. Moondancer, though, was thrust with a wild, insane idea to get up on the hay bale with him and give the stallion an object lesson on just where his spout was, and what he should be doing with it, but she decided that she wasn't quite desperate enough to resort to such...crude measures.

Though she was getting close. As the evening progressed, Moondancer tried every trick she had read or heard of to Sublty Let the Stallion Know She Liked Him: Laughing at anything Braeburn said that could pass as a joke, "Accidentally" brushing her flank up against his, and batting her eyes in what she hoped was a flirtatious manner, though she was afraid that Braeburn thought she must have developed a twitch with that last one.

"Ehh, Miss Moondancer, do you have somethin' in your eye? Ah could take a look, if you'd like." The stallion moved to stand before her, his green eyes peering intently into hers, an expression of polite concern across his rugged features. Moondancer could feel his breath on her face. Kiss him. KISS HIM, YOU FOOL! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

Instead, Moondancer found herself saying. "Oh...oh, ha hah...yes, fine! I just need to use the fillies room. Back in a minute!"

***🚽***

Well, look at it this way Moondancer thought to herself a short while later, her head inside the porcelain bowl and holding her mane out of the line of fire with her magic. If I had kissed him, it wouldn't have done to shower him with half-digested fried artichoke.
It hadn't quite been a lie that she needed to use the restroom. The butterflies in Moondancer's stomach had ganged up and demanded a release a short minute or two later. It was all she could do to get inside a mercifully unoccupied restroom stall before she engaged in the time honored practice of the Technicolor Yawn.

FInally, after the heaving subsided, Moondancer sat back on her haunches, and raised a hoof to her cheeks to wipe away the tears she found there. After reviewing the events of the last hour, she reached an inescapable conclusion.

I've blown it. I could have kissed him, just now. And now Fiddly Twang is going to use her folksy charm to cement whatever relationship she has, and...and...

Moondancer had always considered herself a well put together, self possessed mare. At least, in her own way. But the combined gut punch of Failure and the Inability to Correct Said Failure was too much, not to mention the chance of having a handsome and intelligent stallion slip through her hooves...which was something that Moondancer had never once considered she would ever be upset over. And, since all that was the case, she decided that she'd have a good and proper cry.

Which was why, when somepony knocked a hoof on the bathroom stall door, she nearly blasted it off its hinges with her magic. Deciding such things were beneath a scholar of her stature, she mustered up the last remnants of her dignity and spoke. "It's ocup-pied...could you p-please try another one?"

"Moondancer, could y'all come on outta there fer a minute? Ah'd like to talk to ya." Fiddly Twang's voice sounded genuinely concerned. That particular data point, however, was lost on Moondancer as the Despair and Hopelessness she was feeling suddenly converted themselves to Incandescent Anger and Righteous Fury.

Moondancer snorted. "What, did you come to gloat?"

"Gloat?" Fiddly's Concern, likewise, seemed to have transmuted itself to Bafflement. "What would Ah have to gloat about?"

"Hah!" Moondancer gave her best Derisive Laugh, which, according to her research, all Mares In Desperate Circumstances were allowed to do. "You and Braeburn! I hope the two of you have a nice life together! I wish you all the best!" She detected a note of Hysteria creeping into her voice, but she didn't really care.

Fiddly Twang's Bafflement had called Amused Derision in for reinforcements, as both were laced clearly through her next comment. "And just what do you mean by that?"

"Oh please. You were all over him tonight, talking close, joking-"

"Well, why wouldn't Ah talk with mah big brother like that?"

"And NOW you're gonna get-wait..." Moondancer's train of thought collided with something in Fiddly's last sentence and was abruptly derailed. Cautiously, she slid back the deadbolt to the stall she was in and peeked an eye around the corner. "What do you mean, 'Big Brother'?"

Fiddly Twang stood before her, her own stetson hat perched back on her blue mane, her expression radiating equal parts Concern and Amusement. "You know. When a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very much..."

Moondancer slammed her stall open all the way, her magical aura crackling around her horn and causing the hanging lanterns in the restroom to flicker. "Fiddly Twang, please. Is...is Braeburn..." Hope blossomed in her chest, a Hope so fragile and Nebulous that she scarcely dared to speak the rest of her sentence aloud.

Luckily for her, Fiddly Twang was able to fill in the gaps. "Is Braeburn my genius older brother? Sure as Apple Fritters sizzle."

Moondancer thought that one over for a full minute before she asked. "Is that a yes?"

Fiddly Twang tilted her head to one side, studying Moondancer's hopeful expression, the tear tracks on her face, and her red eyes. Something seemed to click inside the earth pony mare's head as she said "Oh...oh sugarcube...You got it bad for him, don'tcha?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Moondancer fretted her lip and nodded, helplessly. The next thing she knew, Fiddly Twang had enfolded her in a hug, pressing her neck to Moondancer's and bringing a hoof up for a reassuring pat on her shoulder. "Oh, you poor thing... An' lemme guess, the blockhead's got no clue a'tall, does he?"

Moondancer shook her head, trying hard not to dislodge Fiddly's stetson in the process. "I...I don't know how to tell him, or what to tell him. And what if..." A new thought, one almost too Horrible to contemplate, reared it's ugly head before her. She whispered it as she felt fresh tears seep out. "What if he didn't like me back?"

Fiddly Twang gave Moondancer an extra big squeeze before she broke the hug off. "Well, mah brother may be some sorta whiz-bang genius when it comes to Magic an' Harmony an' whatnot, but when it comes to mares, he's always been a certified grade A ignoramus." She turned and nodded a head at the bathroom door. "C'mon. We'll have us a good ol' fashioned filly talk, but there's somethin' you need to git 'fore we do."

Moondancer wiped at her face with a disposable towel, levitating her glasses out of the way with her magic as she did. "And what, pray tell, is that?"

"Mah Auntie Streusel Crust's Deluxe Funnel Cake a la Mode. If'n it cain't cure a broken heart, nothin' will."

***🍨***

"...and so, that's when we set out for Town earlier today. Only we didn't have any idea the Summer Sun Celebration would be happening."

The two mares had opted to split one of the gargantuan funnel cakes, which was only fair as the blasted thing was roughly the size of a Canterlot stallion-hole cover, weighed ten pounds, and was covered in chocolate fudge, caramel, powdered sugar, candied apples, sprinkles, marshmallows, peanuts and chocolate chips. Part of Moondancer's Canterlot upbringing recoiled at the lack of presentation in the dish, and the unsophisticated ingredients. The rest of her, particularly the bits that had been experiencing the emotional trauma of bitter, unrequited love, pointed out that it was Fried Cake covered in Chocolate, said to Tartarus with presentation, and dug in, using her magic and the utensil- A Spork, she had heard Fiddly call it- provided to demolish her portion. Fiddly, for her part, was was eating with a wild abandon, garnering disgusted looks from some of the other mares, while the unattached stallions gazed in awe and wonder at the earth pony mare's ability to devour complex carbohydrates.

"An this was basically a date with the two of you, even though you didn't set out to make it like one." Fiddly spoke after she managed to choke down a mouthful of fried pastry, pausing to wipe her muzzle clean of fudge and caramel. "An there I came in, stompin' all over your plans to have the galoot to yerself fer a night."

Moondancer thought it over for a second. Granted, that was exactly what had happened, but it wasn't until Fiddly Twang had said it that Moondancer was able to put her hoof on just why she had been so upset.
"Basically, yes."

"Aw sugarcube, Ah'm sorry." Fiddly Twang radiated sympathy. "Ah just ain't seen mah brother in ages."

"No, no! It's alright!" Moondancer waved her hooves in front of her, willing to forestall any sort of apology. "There's no way you could have known. I'm the one who should be sorry." She poked at the funnel cake with the spork held in her magic, resting her chin on a hoof, glumly. "I should have gotten up the nerve to tell him how I feel days ago. Then I could have dealt with the consequences properly." Or, she thought to herself, we'd be together and... Moondancer didn't know where that thought would have led.

Fiddly Twang arched an eyebrow at Moondancer, then took another bite of funnel cake, chewing thoughtfully. "Well, correct me if Ah'm wrong, but Ah'm guessin' you ain't the sort who's had a string of coltfriends."

Moondancer shook her head. "My studies always came first."

Fiddly nodded, as if confirming something to herself. "Ah thought so. So, he's your first crush."

"I...well...not to put too fine a point on...Yes." Moondancer sighed to herself. "I had always thought that my first love was Theoretical Harmony, but it turns out that was just a phase." As Fiddly's eyebrows climbed higher into her mane, Moondancer added "That was a joke."

"Ah gotcha." The earth pony mare blew a lock of her blue mane out of her face, where it was in danger of drowning in fudge. "So...you've never been in Love."

Moondancer felt herself blushing. "I certainly don't think I'd be qualified enough to recognize it."

"We'll see about that." Fiddly's tone shifted, and suddenly Moondancer felt the same as when she had to defend her Senior Thesis. "How much time do you spend thinkin' about mah brother?"

The answer came quickly to Moondancer. "Almost all day. I mean...when I'm not focusing on our work."

Fiddly nodded and paused long enough for Moondancer to take a bite of funnel cake before she asked the next question. "An' how much time did you spend thinkin' the two of you knockin' horseshoes?"

Moondancer very nearly choked on her bite of funnel cake. "Fiddly! He's your-"

"Jus' answer the question. Ah ain't judgin'."

"Well. At least a few minutes out of the day. I'm inexperienced, Fiddly, but I'm not made of stone."

That garnered a laugh from the earth pony mare. "Fair 'nuff. So what were you thinkin' about mah brother, then?"

"Simple things." Moondancer said, continuing. "Introducing him to my parents. Meeting his. Spending Hearts and Hooves day together. Hearthswarming. Learning more about what makes him laugh." She frowned, thoughtfully. "Helping him with his research. He's got a brilliant mind, Fiddly. I don't know what you know about it, but your brother's research could help revolutionize Thaumaturgical Study as we know it." Moondancer took a deep breath to steady herself. "He's...he's a special pony, Fiddly. Not just for me. But because he's got a gift. And maybe I'll only get a piece of it, helping him with his research. But every moment I spend with him, I treasure."

As Moondancer spoke, Fiddly Twang listened with rapt attention, her eyes wide with wonder. After the unicorn mare finished, Fiddly took another bite of funnel cake and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and said, "Stars above...it finally happened..."

Moondancer frowned "What finally happened?"

Fiddly waved an airy hoof, still clutching her spork in her pastern. "Why, mah brother finally attracted a mare who's attracted to him fer his brains in addition to his good looks." She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea the number of filles who'd try to attract him when he's runnin' the rodeo circuit in his spare time. But mah brother's always had a brainy streak. Granted, it's hidden deep inside that numb skull of his." She sighed fondly, then shook her head. "But the mares are few an' far between who can see him for what he really is, rather 'n jus' some stud who'll give 'em good kids and an in with the biggest durn family in Equestria."

Fiddly sat back on her haunches, studying Moondancer for another minute before she spoke. "Alright."

Moondancer tilted her head. "Alright, what?"

Fiddly grinned, and there, Moondancer could see her resemblance to Braeburn, with the shape of her smile and the same twinkle in her eyes. "Alright, Ah'ma help you wit' mah brother, ya silly city slicker."

Moondancer's eyes widened behind her glasses. "W-what? Why?"

Fiddly Twang rested her chin on her hoof, still grinning. "'Cause Ah think yore feelin's are genuine, fer one. 'Cause Ah think you jus' might be mah brother's type, fer another. An' finally, 'cause Ah think Ah'm gonna have some fun with this." She rose, from the table, wiping her face with a napkin and trotting off into the night, the funnel cake forgotten behind her. "C'mon Moondancer, let's go git you a stallion!"

Moondancer trotted after Fiddly Twang, pausing long enough to levitate the funnel cake over to a table with a half dozen young fillies and colts sitting together, ignoring their whoops of joy at the sugary bounty laid before them. As she absently levitated a napkin in her magic to wipe her face, she wondered just what sort of craziness she was getting into. Regardless, she trotted after Fiddly Twang, Hope soaring in her heart and Love singing it's siren song in her ears.

You hear that, Braeburn! Ready or not...Here I come!

Author's Note

Been a minute since I've posted here. Things have been hectic out in Meatspace.
Still, thanks for reading this far. Hopefully I haven't let you guys down yet!

Subterfuge

Earlier, Back at the Center...

***⚡⚡⚡***

Snaproll soared high in the early evening sky over the Center, for a single moment lost in the pure joy of flight. The whistle of wind through his wings, the scent of sagebrush and hot earth from the ground far below filling his nostrils, the last light of day warming his skin and wings as he breathed in a breath of contentment. A quick glance behind and to his right confirmed that Whichaway was tucked in close formation next to him. I swear, that mare'd lose her own head if it wasn't attached to her shoulders. He shook his head and nodded back to himself. Right, back to work.

Off his left wing in the distance, silhouetted against the setting sun, was a trio of small thunderheads that were floating their way towards the center, graciously cast loose by the Appleoosa weather team. Granted, he had been pretty sure that the original request had been for four small thunderheads, but, well, beggars and choosers. Turning his head to his wingpony, he called out. "Heads up, Whichaway. Nine o'clock, low, mark three, track east."

He was pleased to see her move her gaze from him to where the clouds were, and she nodded. "I see them. How do you want to take care of them?" It was hard to tell, in the evening light, but he though she might have been blushing. No time to think about that now. Snaproll glanced back at from the mare to the oncoming clouds, running calculations in his head. "Looks like they're moving slow enough. We'll take the first two and let the last one drift. If we hustle, we can discharge them and cut 'em loose. After that, I can pick up the spare."

Whichaway nodded, her eyes slightly wide around the edges. "O-okay, got it."

He frowned for a second and then slowed his wingbeats for a minute, letting her draw level with him. "Hey, you're not goin' sideways on me now, are you?"

Whichaway licked her lips as she considered that for a moment. "No. No I've got your wing."

A sudden thought occurred to Snaproll. "How much weather management have you done, Which?"

She glanced down, ruefully. "Not a whole lot. I wasn't as good a hoof at it, and I just stuck to delivering stuff."

Snaproll nodded. "It's no sweat. Just follow my lead, do what I do, and if you run into any trouble, give me a holler. I'll be right there." He held up a hoof to one side, and bobbed it for her. "You ready?"

She glanced from his face to his proffered hoof and then back, a smile blossoming across her face as she blushed again. "I was born ready." She bumped his hoof with hers, and then, without warning, shot off ahead in a trio of powerful wingbeats, her merry laughter carried back to Snaproll on the evening breeze. "Come and have a go if you think you're fast enough!"

With a grin to match, Snaproll powered after the Trottingham pegasus mare. "You're on! Last one to discharge their cloud is a banana!!!"

***🌩***

Unnoticed by either pegasus, the fourth stormcloud meandered its way over the desert floor below, its gentle pace giving lie to the tempestuous fury denoted by its dark hue and the flashes of muted lightning from within. Atop the cloud's mountainous heights stood a single unicorn mare, clad in a form fitting body stocking in the same stormy hue as the cloud beneath her hooves, which covered her from nose to flank, save for her exposed goldenrod horn. She held a pair of binoculars to her eyes in her magic, watching the two pegasi below race to discharge the clouds into the facility capacitors far below before turning to race back towards the remaining stormcloud from their initial trio. Running some mental calculations, the unicorn nodded to herself as she tucked the binoculars away in one of the many pouches that hung off the harness she wore over the body stocking. The timing should be juuuust about....now!

Pegasi weather manipulation wasn't exactly complicated, even by the rules of simple thaumaturgy. An inexperienced weather pony could get even the whitest and fluffiest of clouds to come together to form a thunderhead, discharge a bolt of lightning, and return the cloud to its original state inside a few minutes. A seasoned weatherpony could do it in considerably less time. But all of them would tell you that getting the lightning to discharge was generally as simple as giving the cloud a good swift kick in the right direction, and making sure you weren't wearing anything conductive when you did.

The unicorn kicked downward, and the thunderhead below her trembled briefly before there was an earsplitting roar as the cloud discharged a bolt of lightning into a patch of dry sagebrush far below. The unfortunate bush exploded into burning flinders as what little water in its boughs superheated in an instant into steam. A half dozen neighboring bushes were ignited from the flash of heat, and in the space of ten seconds had spread the fire to their neighbors, developing into a medium sized brushfire. Nodding to herself, the unicorn teleported off the top of the cloud, vanishing in a pop of displaced air as she moved on to phase two of her plan.

Of course, this had been the easy part of this assignment.

***🔥***

Snaproll grinned as he raced back toward the remaining thunderhead, throwing himself into one of his namesake rolls just for the sheer joy of it. Sure, he had gotten out to fly every morning at daybreak to keep himself fit, but there was something...primal about having another pegasus to race against. Granted, Whichaway had managed to get a good head start on him, but he had managed to get a half a length on her when she'd fumbled her cloud's discharge. He could hear her cursing under her breath as she beat her wings to catch up with him. Granted, with her smaller frame, she could change direction faster than he could, but this was a sprint to the last cloud. Snaproll was under no illusions about being the fastest flier in Equestria, but he was fairly confident he could take the Trottingham mare in a straight race. He glanced behind him to check her position, but the mare wasn't there. Frowning, he scanned the skies below. The last thing he wanted was for Whichaway to have fallen out of the sky, but she wasn't to be seen anywhere below, either.

Growing increasingly concerned, he pulled up into a hover just above the cloud. "Whichaway?" He started scanning above him, his head on a swivel. "Where in blazes are-"

He found Whichaway, though he had almost no time to react as she was reaching the nadir of her power dive. He had a bare instant to take in the lines of her face, her outstretched hooves, and her tail lashing madly in her slipstream before she plowed into him.

After what felt like minutes later, Snaproll shook his head to find Whichaway lying on top of him, her face inches away from his own. She gave him a wink as a satisfied smile spread across her face. "You holding up alright there, love? I thought I'd knocked you for a loop there."

Snaproll found himself quite unable to speak, only partially from getting a faceful of high velocity mare. Maybe it was his imagination, but he'd never quite noticed the depths of her blue gray eyes, or how her mane smelled like a mixture of clean wind and wildflowers. Too, he found her weight on his body pleasantly distracting, and Whichaway's expression was transitioning from Gloating Triumph to something Anticipatory and...Apprehensive?

Unknown to Snaproll and unnoticed by Whichaway, a few pink hearts formed over the stallion's head and began to float into the skies above them. Say something you idiot! She's beautiful, she's not running away in terror from you, and, really, could you do any better? Gah! Focus! Say something!

"Uhh...You think so?" Yeah! Nailed it!

Whichaway giggled, which didn't help Snaproll at all 1. "I do. But I'd be willing to share a victory, if you're willing..."
She leaned in and buried her nose in his mane, inhaling deeply2. "Mmm...you smell nice...and..." she frowned and withdrew, frowning in concern. "Is...is someone having a barbecue?"
1: Well, not with his thinking at any rate.
2: This did not, either.

Something in her words tugged hard at Snaproll's subconscious, which, desperately, tried to wrest control of the stallion's brain away from his various glands. Meanwhile, his thought process yammered onto themselves. Barbecue? Does she want a barbecue? I can organize one...I think we have some eggplant and mushrooms somewhere, I can get some sagebrush going and...wait, smells like someone has one going already! Oh that's what she's...

Snaproll came to his hooves in a flash, upending Whichaway, who yelped in surprise. Snaproll noted, idly, the long furrow the two of them had driven into the cloud as he made his way to its edge and peered down. Though the sun had set minutes ago, there was still plenty of pale evening light. It was, however, rendered largely unnecessary by the ambient glow of the spreading brushfire far below. "Sisters of Day and Night, preserve us..." He muttered under his breath as Whichaway gained her hooves and came to stand beside him before muttering something distinctly unladylike herself. "I may not be from around here...but that looks bad."

"It is. Brushfire like that has to be put down, and fast. Otherwise it'll burn faster than most ponies can run." Calculating, he spent a precious few seconds in thought before he nodded to himself. "First thing's first, gotta keep the fire from spreading toward the Center. You take this cloud here, get as much water out of it as you can between here and the fireline." He pointed a hoof over towards the wayward thunderhead. "I'm going to see if I can corral that one and see if I can keep it from spreading that way. Tribal lands to the south of here and the town's not to far either." He glanced over at Whichaway. "Can you handle this cloud here?"

Whichaway's eyes were wide and near panic, but she swallowed and nodded, fretting her lip. "What if...What if we get separated?"

"If you can't find me, make for Appleoosa and raise the alarm. I'll meet you there." And, screwing up his courage, Snaproll kissed Whichaway full on the mouth, admittedly wasting several seconds. Before they became minutes, he broke for air and gave the pegasus mare a grin that was projecting approximately ten times more confidence than he actually felt. "I'm not leaving you for anything though." And with that, he flung himself off the cloud, dropping for a trio of seconds to gain speed before he flared his wings and called back to her "Get going! We've got no time to waste!"

***⛅***

From under a culvert at the edge of the Center's property, the unicorn watched as the two pegasi set about extinguishing the brushfire she had set and breathed a small sigh of satsifaction. The two flyers should have the ability to shut down the fire between them, despite the limited experience one of them had, at least according to the dossier her employer had assembled for her.

Waiting for a beat, the unicorn slowly crept out of the culvert and approached the main building. Thankfully, the pegasi had left the front doors unlocked, though that probably had more to do with the main building housing the cafeteria and lounge in addition to the labs and archives than it did any lapse in security.

Silently, she crept through the empty lounge, past the kitchen and cold storage, and finally halted at an otherwise unremarkable door marked "General Storage". Concentrating, her magic aura flowed into the key hole and, after a few second's fiddling, the lock opened for her. Smiling to herself, she browsed though the stacks of crates, lockers, storage cubbies, and, in one case, giving the spiked iron box twice as tall as she was and humming ominously a wide berth. Using her aura to cast light around her, she kept looking until...Aha!

The crate read simply "Project Dunderhead" in unassuming black letters, and was kept shut by virtue of a single padlock. Using her aura again, she bypassed this and gingerly flung open the crate. However, she immediately frowned. Hmm...where's the rest of it? Shaking her head, she stuffed the contents of the crate into one of her empty saddlebags before replacing the lid and sliding the padlock shut again with a satisfying click. Almost done...now for the final touch.

She left the room, not bothering to lock the door behind her, and made her way up to the second floor and the administration wing to what she knew to be Braeburn's office. This time, she didn't bother with bypassing the lock, instead using her magic to tear the door off its hinges and into the hallway. Smiling to herself, she reveled in a few minutes unprofessional glee as she flung books off shelves, left filing cabinets sprawled drunkenly against each other, upended the table lamp, and generally introduced Entropy and Chaos to a shocked Order and Control.
That said, she did try and maintain some manner of control over the general sacking. The files she left out were all classified as "Experimental Inventions", and one in particular she managed to leave front and center on the desk, making sure she magically duplicated it and slipped the copy into her now bulging saddlebags.

Satisfied with her work, she glanced out the wide windows that afforded an excellent view of the valley nearby. The fire seemed to be largely under control, with only a small blaze that had been corralled off into a convenient firebreak. With that, she flipped the lights on in the office, and then waited.

***🌧***

Snaproll stood on the now-expended stormcloud, panting hard and his coat lathered with sweat. Managing to choke the fire off into a small area hadn't been complicated work, but that didn't mean that it had been exactly easy. Even Whichaway had managed her cloud with relative ease, though his thoughts concerning the mare were still a tangle of confusion, not accounting for the fog of fatigue clouding his brain. Once he'd managed to get his breath back, he called out to the night sky. "Whichaway! You out there?"

"Right behind you, love." Snaproll didn't start at the mare's voice, but that was only because he was too tired to do so. He turned and nuzzled her neck. "Hey. You did great out there."

Whichaway blushed as she nuzzled him back. "Oh, that was nothing..." Something smoldered in her eyes as she pulled back and leaned in. "You should see me...now, that's peculiar..."

Wishing that he'd had the good sense to fall in love with a mare with an attention span, Snaproll followed her gaze. "Hey Which...did you leave the lights on at the center?"

"Not likely."

"Me either..." Another thought crashed into Snaproll's head. "That's...hey, that's Braeburn's office! C'mon!"
With that, Snaproll flung himself off the cloud and flew with all speed back to the center, exhaustion forgotten, Whichaway a few wingbeats behind him.

***🎲🎲***

Counting to herself, the unicorn made her way down from the office and back to the hallway to general storage, her ears perked for any noise. Any second now...There we go. She could hear the sounds of wingbeats growing, followed by hooves on the front door. She bolted out of the hallway as the two pegasi burst into the lounge, the larger stallion giving a strangled shout3 as he charged her. The unicorn waited until the pegasus was only a few body lengths away, then she flung her body forward, spun, and launched a roundhouse kick that connected with the stallion's jaw. He fell, stunned to the floor as the second pegasus flicked on the lights. The unicorn mare paused long enough for the remaining pegasus to get a good look at her, then flared her magic and vanished with another pop of displaced air.

Seconds later, she pulled the hood of her body suit off her head and trotted out of a darkened Canterlot alley, making her way to the rendezvous with her client. She smiled to herself as she shook out her red-gold mane, taking in the familiar sights of her hometown and wishing she had time further to stay. Maybe next time. Advanced Integral Calculus Finals don't take themselves.

And with that, she vanished into the night.
3: This Hoofnote left intentionally blank

Author's Note

Welp, we're all stuck in our own homes for the forseeable future. Unfortunately, this means that my main business has basically withered up and died. So, until job applications come through, I'm planning on writing more here and, hopefully, finishing my book.

Stay safe out there, y'all.

Nighttime

Moondancer had resigned herself to a dinner of barely edible food to sustain herself after a good long hike out into the wilderness west of Appaloosa. To her surprise, however, the steaming dish of beans, onions and bell peppers that Sazerac piled onto her plate smelled heavenly. She sat down on a log near one of the campfires and levitated a forkful of the steaming mass to her mouth, almost too tired and hungry to fully care about what she was eating.

She had to work hard to suppress a moan of pleasure as she shoveled another forkful into her mouth. The food was hot, hearty and spiced with just enough heat to make her feel warm from her head down to her hooves. She could feel the heat of it burning away at the fatigue that had been plaguing her legs. She spared a glance at the other two stallions she had traveled with. Braeburn was digging into his food with gusto, and had already managed to clear the majority of his plate. Snaproll was likewise eating, but he grimaced over at Sazerac. "Dang. I mean, it's good, Saz," He said, around a mouthful of food before swallowing, "But did you have to make it so spicy?" He set his plate down and reached for a canteen, twisting off the top with his hoof before guzzling a mouthful of water.

Sazerac gave his twin a mocking smile. "Ah don' know what yew're talkin about, brothah mahne...In fact, I do declare, the filly appeahs to be enjoyin' the food. Shorely yore not gonna be shown up by some filly now, ahre yew?" He tossed a conspirational wink at Moondancer, who was well on her way on to polishing off her plate.

Snaproll glared at his brother, sulkily. "It's not that it tastes bad, I just don't want an ass like a Japponeese flag tomorrow morning is all." But, for all his grumbling, Snaproll tucked into his food with a will.

Wearing a satisfied smirk, Sazerac settled down on his haunches with a plate of his own hovering before him. Before he ate, however, he used his magic to levitate a bottle over to him. Moondancer was able to read "Zatarein's Cajun Hot Sauce" on the bottle before Sazerac used his magic to deposit several dashes of the stuff onto his plate before he floated it back to the fireside and started eating with a will. Snaproll, as he ate, watched his brother with a mingled expression of awe and disgust on his face.

Braeburn was holding his plate between his hooves and licking his plate clean. He finished and glanced over at the unicorn stallion. "Ya got any more of that, Sazerac?"

Sazerac nodded as he ate and levitated a pair of ladle-fulls onto Braeburn's plate. Moondancer was impressed by Sazerac's grasp of levitation. He didn't even look up from his plate doing that. She started connecting the dots and reasoned that Sazerac must be one of the academically minded ponies at the center. He's got to have a solid grounding in magical theory to pull that sort of stuff off, she thought as she munched away at her beans and rice.

A growing knot of irritation that she'd been aware of since she arrived in Appaloosa started pressing in on her consciousness as she ate in silence. She was pondering it and her eyes came to rest on Braeburn as he ate his second helping of beans and rice. The earth pony managed to eat clumsily, balancing his plate in the crook of one hoof and holding his fork in another. She watched him eat for a few minutes, her thoughts churning away.

A minute or two later, she came to a conclusion. He irritates me, she decided. That had to be it. Braeburn had, ever since she stepped off the train, exuded an aura of steadfast, cheerful confidence. Indeed, he'd been almost relentlessly cheerful the entire journey, as if he loved every hill and dale they had passed through and expected her to have the same enjoyment of everything around her. It's not like I want to be here. Doesn't he see that?

Moondancer frowned into her plate as she ate, scraping the last of her food up with her fork. He's irritating. Can't he tell i don't want to be here? She glanced over at Sazerac, who glanced up at her in return. "Moah rice, cher?" It took Moondancer a second or two than she cared to admit to decipher this phrase, and she nodded. Sazerac floated a ladleful of rice over to her plate and plopped it down without ceremony. She nodded thanks to him and returned her attention back to Braeburn, who had nearly polished off his food. Whatever. It's not like he's going to be much more than a technician here at the center. Why should I care about him? She nodded to herself, as if that settled the matter. But she couldn't quite keep her eyes off the earth pony stallion.

As they ate, Snaproll and Sazerac were bickering. From the sounds of it, it was part of a larger argument that had lasted their entire lives.
"Still don't know why you keep up that outrageous accent."
"Ah don' know whut you mean, brothah mine."
"Well, you should! Celestia's Beard, Saz, why you gotta-"
"It's 'cause Mother always liked you best, Snap."
"No, Mom always liked you best, Saz."
"Well, how can you be so showah?"
"For one thing, you weren't the one who managed to whip up a thunderstorm."
"That doesn't prove a thang."
"...In her kitchen during a dinner party."
"No, Mother clearly liked you best. You never managed to teleport half of the house into downtown Vanhoofer when you were upset about having to take flugelhorn lessons."
"I might have, though. You were awful at the flugelhorn."

Moondancer made a mental note to herself that, if she ever met Snaproll and Sazerac's Mother, that she would give her all her pity. Such a mare must either have the patience of a saint or be quite formidable, she thought, as she daintily used her magic to scrape the last of her food onto her fork and lift the rest into her mouth. Well, at least the food is halfway decent. She swallowed the last of the steaming food, and then was struck by an urgent need.
"Um..." She got to her hooves, squirming slightly, "Can any of you gentlecolts direct me to the filly's room?"

Braeburn nodded, hastily swallowing a mouthful of food before he spoke. "Take that li'l trail yonder, the one that goes into that grove of shrubs. I dug a cat-hole there yesterday." He rapped one of his forehooves on the log he sat on, rose and trotted to the wagon. He rummaged around in there for a second, and then with a shout of triumph, emerged with a carton of sanitary wipes. "Here you go, Miss Moondancer. You might wanna take these with you. Ah figured, bein' a city girl an' all, you might appreciate it."

Moondancer smiled, and said "Thank you, sir. I appreciate the gesture."
Admittedly, it was hard to say through gritted teeth. She snatched the wipes with her magic out of Braeburn's hooves and trotted quickly off the indicated trail, muttering to herself.
Cat Hole? What in Celestia's name does he mean by a cat-hole? Oh heavens...what if the whole facility is like this? What if there's no running water? What am I going to look like at the end of my stint here? Another horrifying thought occurred to her. What am I going to smell like?

*******

The grove, mercifully, was out of casual earshot from the rest of the camp (though Moondancer couldn't be certain the three stallions didn't her her oaths and imprecations). Using the cat-hole was an experience that broadened her horizons that she hoped she would never, ever, never ever forever have to re-experience as long as she lived. She was, however, relieved and walked back into camp in a foul mood.

The stallions, clueless as she thought they were, seemed to sense her high dudgeon. Snaproll and Sazerac, who had been bickering when she left, were conspicuously silent. The latter used his magic to spoon an extra-large helping of apple cobbler onto a plate and levitated it over to her. She accepted the plate grudgingly and sat down on her log, fuming, and put a forkful of cobbler into her mouth.

It is, she observed, very very difficult to be angry with a mouthful of excellent apple cobbler and the knowledge that another plateful of the same awaited her, but Moondancer was somehow able to maintain her bitterness at the whole situation until she was scraping her plate clean. Braeburn, meanwhile, had finished his serving of cobbler and had pulled a battered guitar out of the wagon.

Despite her foul mood, Moondancer watched him over her glasses. She had seen most ponies play guitar, naturally, but Braeburn was doing something new. He laid the guitar on the ground in front of him, and he held a piece of polished, smooth glass over his left forehoof. With his right, he struck a few experimental chords, tuned a peg on the neck of the guitar, and began to play.

Moondancer had never, quite, heard music like it before. The strains that Braeburn managed to coax out of the guitar were simultaneously plaintive, wistful, melancholy and beautiful. She listened, and it seemed to her that the music managed to take the anger she was feeling and dissipate it into the atmosphere around her. It made her think of what she was really angry about: having to leave her home in Canterlot, setting out onto a journey into the, relatively, unknown, about having an uncertain career future and, most recently, having to relieve herself into a hole in the middle of the Appaloosan Desert. The music at once reflected something she was feeling inside herself, but then, as she listened, it became something that she could understand. And if she could understand it, she could deal with it. Yes. This is all terrible. But...I...I might just be able to deal with it.

The sun had fully set by this point, and the only light around them was cast by the pair of cooking fires. Braeburn played for a while, probably about ten minutes or so as the fires started to die down. Snaproll gathered up their collected plates and washed them as the music wove its way around them like smoke. Overhead, the stars started to come out, accompanied by a waxing crescent moon.

Almost to her surprise, Moondancer's anger and sadness abated for awhile, and she was...well, not quite content to stare into the fire and listen to the music, but it was something roughly the next post code over. After some time, Braeburn struck a final chord with his guitar and rose, slinging the instrument on his back as he carried it back to the wagon.
Moondancer shook herself out of her reverie and glanced over at the earth pony stallion. "That was...nice. How long have you been playing, Braeburn?"

The stallion smiled as he shrugged the guitar off his shoulders and placed it back into his wagon. "Nearly as long as I kin remember, Miss Moondancer. My pappy taught me when I was just a li'l colt." He fished around in the wagon, and brought out a pair of bedrolls. One of which he balanced on his back, the other he hoofed over to her. "Here, I'll show you where you can set up yours."

Braeburn led her over towards a large rock that had been placed at the edge of one of the campfires, to reflect heat back into the campsite. He showed her how to set up the bedroll, how to get her pillow situated, and which side was padded and, therefore, should be placed on the ground. I suppose I should be grateful that there's not a great proliferation of rocks on the ground she groused to herself, sleepily, as Braeburn hefted his bedroll across the campfire from hers and deftly unrolled it. Then a sudden thought occurred to her, and she said "Shouldn't we have a tent if we're camping?"

She could hear Braeburn's reassuring smile in his voice, even if she couldn't quite make it out by the light from the fire. "Any other time o' year, yeah, we probably would. But it's still plenty warm here and dry. We won't wake up with any dew to worry about in the mornin'. Although..." He frowned and glanced over at the other campfire. "Hey, Snap! Did you git a chance to check out what the weather patterns were goin' to be like out here tonight?"

Moondancer glanced over at the other campsite. Snaproll and Sazerac had managed to clean up their cooking utensils and had settled down to their bedrolls themselves, but not before piling their fire pit high with logs. Snaproll was lying down, though he lifted himself up on one forehoof to answer Braeburn. "You bet I did! Nothing's supposed to roll here through Noon tomorrow at the earliest. Should be all clear tonight."

"Sounds good. See you in the mornin'!" Braeburn answered.

"G'night. Oh! And goodnight to you too, Moondancer." Snaproll called back.
"Indeed. Bon Soir, cher." Sazerac chimed in.
"WOULD. YOU. DROP. THE. ACCENT?" she heard Snaproll mutter distinctly back at his brother, who muttered something back, and the two of them began bickering anew, albeit too quiet for her to hear.

Braeburn chuckled to himself as he loaded the fire up with a few logs. "Don't pay them no mind, Miss. They's just brothers is all."

Moondancer, however, had other things on her mind than the weather. "Well, the weather's all well and good. But what about wild animals?"

Braeburn shook his head. "Won't have to worry too much about those in these parts. Sazerac was smart enough to hoist the food stuff up one of them trees yonder, and the fires should keep the rest away." He nodded to the fire he was building up. "I can set these logs up so it should keep burning until the morning at least. And they won't spoil the view." He finished laying logs in the fire pit, removed his stetson, laid it on the ground beside him, and settled into his bedroll.

Moondancer couldn't quite take her eyes off of him. He was irritating, to be certain. But he was also quite muscular, she could see. And, bumpkin though he might be, he was still being courteous.

Braeburn sighed as he settled into his bedroll. "If'n I was you, Miss Moondancer, i'd jus' settle back, enjoy the view, and try and get some shuteye. I know you's had a long day'n all" he added, yawning, "And we got a good stretch before we're back to the center." He glanced over at her. "Can I get you anythin' 'fore you go to sleep?"

Moondancer shook her head, levitating her taped up glasses onto the ground beside her and pulling the tie out of her mane's top-tail. "I'll be fine, Thank you." She thought this might not be sufficient to stave off further inquiries, so she added. "Have a good night, Braeburn."

"You too, Miss Moondancer."

Author's Note

Thanks for sticking with me so far!

Btw, if you want an idea of what Braeburn's playing, here's a decent approximation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDceJ2m07r0