Pinkie Figures It Out!

by Twinkletail

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3044

Pinkie needs to make Twilight angry. For reasons.

After a brief talk with Fluttershy and Applejack, Pinkie Pie suddenly comes to a startling conclusion! One of her friends is hiding something, and it's up to Pinkie to get her to admit it!

Published 2018-10-12 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-12 15:00:01 UTC

!!!

"Wait a minute! Back up!"

If the demand was being made towards Pinkie Pie, there would have been a good chance that she would have literally taken a number of steps back. That was just the kind of pony Pinkie Pie was. Ponies often debated whether or not her propensity to take colloquialisms so literally was an intentional choice or a lack of understanding, but the general consensus leaned towards the former. Pinkie Pie, as was widely accepted, was not unintelligent in the slightest. At worst, she was a bit slow at picking up on social cues on occasion. At best, she was simply a silly pony. Neither of these pointed to a lack of intellect, and as such, the aforementioned debates would typically result in an agreement that she was literally backing up when asked to repeat herself in such a fashion because it entertained her, and because she hoped it would entertain others.

All of this, however, became moot in this particular situation, as it was Pinkie herself who was making the request to a non-Pinkie pony. Or rather, a pair of non-Pinkies.

"What is it, sugarcube?" Applejack asked. She took a step back as she spoke; neither out of silliness or unintelligence, but rather because Pinkie's shout had startled her. Fluttershy's actions mirrored Applejack's for similar reasons.

"What you just said!" Pinkie demanded."Say it again!" It wasn't like Pinkie to get angry, and she continued this trend by not being angry here either, an inquisitive look plastered on the front of her little pink head.

"A-about Autumn Blaze saving us?" Fluttershy asked.

"Kind of, but before that!" Pinkie insisted.

"About the kirin trying to dunk us into the Stream of Silence and make us unable to speak or have emotions ever again?" Applejack asked.

"Before that too!" Pinkie responded. The two ponies looked at each other curiously.

"About how the kirin turn into fiery Nirik when they get angry?" Applejack and Fluttershy said, in a frankly impressive display of unison.

"Yes! That!" Pinkie said, hooves flailing wildly in the air.

"Oh yes..." Fluttershy said, relieved that the guessing game had ceased for the time being. "It was their fiery tempers that caused their village to be burned to the ground, and that was why they went into the Stream of Silence."

"So you're telling me..." Pinkie began, looking far more focused than either of her friends had expected. "That these kirin burst into flames when they get angry?"

"That's pretty much the heads and tails of it," Applejack agreed. "So anyway, then Autumn convinced the kirin that they needed to–"

"I gotta go," Pinkie said suddenly. Before the other two could even begin to question her, she was gone, like some sort of bouncy pink streak.

"Huh..." Applejack mused, staring off into the distance where their friend had disappeared. "That has to be one of the stranger things she's done this week."

"I'd probably list it around fifth or sixth," Fluttershy responded. "Don't forget that the Punch Bowl Incident was only six days ago."

"Oh right," Applejack said as the two began to trot back towards Sweet Apple Acres. "I'd plum forgot."

~~~~~~~~~~

Everything made sense to Pinkie now.

Well, not everything. The idea that a pony could dislike pie was still out of her grasp, cold fusion still vexed her, and for the life of her, she couldn't see why other ponies couldn't see why fillies liked Cinnamon Toast Crunch. This, however? This finally made sense to Pinkie Pie. Truthfully, she had been pondering it on and off for quite a while–roughly seven and a half years, to be precise. And even though she'd only seen it happen once and never again, it had remained on her mind ever since. She supposed she could have questioned it somewhere in that period of time, but there always seemed to be something more pressing on her mind. Now, though? She didn't have to ask. She knew. The only thing left was to reproduce the original incident and bring it out in the open once and for all. She wasn't sure why it seemed to be a secret, but with the new knowledge she'd gained from Applejack and Fluttershy, it would be a secret no longer.

The castle loomed in the distance, like some sort of castle that was far away or something. The distance was nothing to a determined Pinkie Pie, however, and it took her mere moments to arrive at the front door. She knew exactly where her target would be at this exact moment, because it was the exact place that she spent most of her free time when not doing something with her friends. A beeline was made directly towards the library, and knocking on the door was about the farthest thing from Pinkie's mind as she barged right in.

"Oh!" Twilight said, looking up from her book as Starlight did the same. "Hi Pinkie! You don't usually come to the library."

"Hi Twilight! Hi Starlight!" Pinkie said cheerfully. She might have been determined and she might have been in a rush to unearth the secret, but ignoring a greeting was simply out of the question.

"What's up?" Starlight asked. "You look...oddly focused."

She was an observant one, that Starlight. But there wasn't time to think about that. Pinkie marched right up to the two, staring them up and down. The discomfort in the air was palpable.

"Is...something wrong?" Twilight asked, starting to get up in case there was an emergency that needed running towards. Pinkie cleared her throat, staring with intent at her friend.

"The doozy at Froggy Bottom Bog wasn't the hydra!" Pinkie exclaimed.

All three ponies stared at each other silently for a good five seconds, varying degrees of and reasons for confusion on their faces. It seemed like ages before Twilight spoke.

"...Right," Twilight said, head tilted to one side. "I know. The doozy was me believing in your Pinkie Sense, remember?"

"Right!" Pinkie agreed. "Isn't that infuriating?!"

"I mean...it was at the time?" Twilight answered, glancing sideways at Starlight before looking back to Pinkie. "But honestly, it taught me a valuable lesson and made me gain a better understanding of you as a pony, so I'm pretty happy it worked out that way."

"Ugh!" Pinkie groaned. She made haste out of the library before another word could be spoken.

"Well...that was one of the stranger things she's done this week," Twilight said as she picked her book up once more.

"Maybe in the top ten?" Starlight responded. "The Fountain Incident was only a couple of days ago."

~~~~~~~~~~

Pinkie had been hiding behind the statue for two hours. It had yet to move, but luckily, she hadn't expected it to. If it had, it was fair to say that it would have been quite the shock. No, it wasn't the moving of the statue that Pinkie was waiting for. It was the movement of one particular pony in the general vicinity of the statue, specifically the movements she would then make in response to what she saw on the statue. Plenty of other ponies had reacted to the statue in the time that Pinkie had been hiding behind it, but none had reacted in quite the way that she was looking for. That was okay, though. This wasn't for them. Twilight's reaction would be different, and it was guaranteed to be the reaction she was looking for.

Picturing Twilight's reaction in her mind nearly made Pinkie giggle. It wasn't abnormal for her to giggle, chuckle, or chortle in response to an impetus that only she was aware of. Sometimes she would even manage the rare guffaw. Right now was not an appropriate time for any of these, though. As hard as it was for Pinkie to completely resist her element, no laughter could be had right now, even if the thought of Twilight's reaction was a funny one.

At the same time, Pinkie couldn't help but feel guilty about finding the idea of that reaction funny. It was never a nice thing to find merriment in that manner of reaction, no matter what the situation. She promised herself that she would apologize to Twilight the moment her secret was exposed. In the meantime, she would just look at it as a prank. She and Rainbow Dash pulled pranks on other ponies all the time, and those often resulted in them laughing at another pony's anger, however fleeting it might have been. This was just like that.

Pinkie's eyes caught sight of the alicorn walking down the road, and she instantly froze in place, posed exactly as the statue so as to be completely hidden behind it. This also resulted in her being unable to see Twilight's reaction, but she was certain she would hear and feel it almost immediately. The gentle clip-clop of Twilight's hooves soon came to a stop directly in front of the statue, just as Pinkie had expected.

"What's this?" Twilight asked. And then came the silence; the calm before the storm, as one may have called it. It took every bit of Pinkie's willpower to keep herself from giggling as she waited for the inevitable rage.

"What?" Twilight exclaimed. "That's absurd!"

There was the first outburst. Any moment now, her rage would fly out of control, and then Pinkie could finally prove that–

"Oh well," Twilight continued. "Everypony's entitled to their opinions."

That was not the reaction Pinkie had been expecting.

"That was not the reaction I was expecting!" Pinkie shouted as she jumped out from behind the statue, for that indeed was not the reaction she was expecting.

"Yaah!" Twilight shouted, leaping about two feet into the air.

"That's a little closer, but still not it!" Pinkie responded. The frazzled alicorn, now flapping her wings and hovering in front of Pinkie, took a deep breath.

"Pinkie, you startled me!" Twilight told her. "Why were you waiting behind this statue?"

"To see how you would react to the sign I put up!" Pinkie explained, as if that answered her question flawlessly.

"You put this sign up?" Twilight asked, a mixture of confusion and betrayal in her eyes. "Do you really think books are silly and uneducational?"

"No!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Well, maybe some of them. But not most of them! I like books!"

"Then...why did you put this sign up?" Twilight asked.

"To make you mad!" Pinkie insisted. It only took a mere moment for her to realize the error of her ways as her friend's expression changed, a hurt frown crossing her face.

"I see," Twilight said quietly. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint." The alicorn turned around without another word and trotted briskly into the distance, leaving a regretful Pinkie Pie in the dust.

"That wasn't the reaction I wanted either," Pinkie sighed. She turned to the nearby store window, noting her deep frown. "And neither was that."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Can I come in?"

Starlight waited for a response for what felt like an eternity as she stood outside the door to Twilight's room, holding the little plate of cookies that she'd arranged because cookies always made everything better. Twilight had returned from her walk over an hour ago, but it was clear from the look on her face that something had happened while she was out. Starlight had been tempted to ask what was wrong right then and there, but if the look on her face had screamed "I'm not in a talking mood" any louder, it would have...well, literally screamed it, what with faces possessing mouths and all. This situation fell in that dangerous position between friendship lessons; was this a "pay attention to your friend's needs and help them even if they don't ask for it" type of deal, or did it fit more under the "give your friends some space when they need it" umbrella? Starlight had been ruminating on this for the better part of the last hour, and had finally decided on the "ruminate on this for the better part of the last hour before finally just going and asking if she could come in" option.

"Come in," came Twilight's voice. Starlight mentally applauded herself for going about things in an effective manner as she opened the door.

"Is everything okay, Twilight?" Starlight asked as she made her entrance, nudging the door closed behind her. The alicorn was on her back on the bed, an open book hovering over her face. Something was definitely wrong. Twilight was more of a "lay on her belly or sit in a chair to read" type of pony. A supine reading position always meant that something was amiss.

"No," Twilight responded, confirming Starlight's suspicions. "I'm a little upset with Pinkie Pie."

"Really?" Starlight asked, walking over to sit next to Twilight and setting the cookies on the nighttable. "How in Equestria can somepony be upset with Pinkie Pie? The worst I've gotten with her is moderate irritation."

"Well, she probably hasn't ever gone out of her way to try and make you mad," Twilight answered back, before letting out a small groan and allowing the book she was holding in her magic to flop onto her face. "Horsefeathers...I think I lost my page."

"Wait, what?" Starlight asked. "She went out of her way to upset you? Are we talking about the same Pinkie Pie? Pink earth pony, a teensy bit round in the flanks, has an entire bevy of songs in her arsenal about making ponies smile?"

"What was that about her flanks?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing," Starlight quickly responded. "Why would Pinkie want to try and make you mad?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Twilight sighed, setting the book aside. "All I know is that it feels terrible. So I guess she got what she wanted."

"Wah!" Starlight responded. It was less of a response to Twilight's statement, to be honest, and more directed towards the fact that Pinkie had burst into the room.

"Wah!" Twilight agreed.

"Aah!" Pinkie insisted. She never was one to go along with the trends.

"Pinkie!" Starlight exclaimed, having decided to move past monosyllabic outbursts and move more into the realm of understandable discussion. "What are you doing? And why did you-"

"I'm so sorry, Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted, launching herself towards Twilight like a pink surface-to-alicorn missile that was a teensy bit round in the flanks. "I was a bad pony!"

"Ack!" Twilight choked. Multisyllabic discourse was trendy now, and she had very much wanted to join in, but the forelegs squeezing the life out of her had other plans.

"Pinkie, come on," Starlight said, using her magic to attempt to pry the two ponies apart. "You're not a bad pony now, but you might be if you asphyxiate the Princess of Friendship." Pinkie quickly let go of Twilight and set her gaze upon Starlight.

"That is a funny word, and I'll deal with it later," Pinkie told her before turning her attention to her recovering friend. "Twilight, I'm so sorry for trying to make you mad! I really am! It was an awful thing to do, and I really really really hope you can forgive me! Because if you don't, then I'll never forgive myself, and if ponies see that we can't forgive me then nopony will forgive me or anypony else, and eventually forgiveness will be stricken from the Equestrian language and we'll have to reprint all of those dictionaries and–"

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight shouted, contemplating the morality behind using that spell that Trixie used to remove her friend's mouth. "Of course I forgive you. You're one of my best friends, and you're not a bad pony." Despite the imminent threat of further oxygen deprivation, the alicorn moved in for an embrace. Sure enough, Pinkie's forelegs once again grabbed her and began the process of trying to compress her ribcage.

"Oh, thank you so much, Twilight!" Pinkie cried, nuzzling her cheek against her friend's. "You're the best! I'm so sorry I did that, and I promise it'll never happen again!"

"That's great, Pinkie," Twilight said, gently patting the earth pony's back. "But why did you do it in the first place? You never really elaborated on that."

"Oh! Right!" Pinkie exclaimed, letting go of the embrace. "I wanted to get you to reveal that you were secretly part kirin."

"Part...kirin?" Twilight asked, utterly befuddled. "Pinkie, what would make you think that?"

"Kirin become fiery Nirik when they get angry!" Pinkie answered, flopping onto Twilight's bed. "And that's exactly what you did when you got angry over the whole doozy thing at Froggy Bottom Bog!"

"Come on, Pinkie," Starlight said. "I'm sure Twilight didn't actually burst into flame."

"Oh no, I did," Twilight said through an awkward smile.

"Srrrph?!" Pinkie shouted. She had intended on saying "see," but the three cookies in her mouth had other plans.

"But that's different!" Twilight insisted. "It was more like an intense magical outburst. I wasn't consumed by flames...it was just my mane and tail! Pinkie, if I knew I was part kirin, I wouldn't keep it a secret. I would let you girls know."

"Promise?" Pinkie asked.

"Promise," Twilight responded.

"Pinkie Promise?" Pinkie begged, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," Twilight answered, performing the appropriate motions, as was custom. The two ponies stared at each other for a good few seconds, the silence of which was only broken by Starlight crunching on a cookie. Soon, a huge smile formed on Pinkie's face.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said, rolling off of the bed and landing on her hooves. "Sorry for acting so silly, Twilight!"

"It's fine, Pinkie," Twilight said, returning her smile in kind. "I love it when you're silly. Usually." The pink pony simply giggled happily in response before bouncing out of the room. Twilight and Starlight both took a breath of relief.

"Well, that might have been the strangest thing Pinkie's done this week," Starlight said. She looked to Twilight for a response, and was surprised when she received none, instead observing an oddly pensive look on her friend's face. "Is everything okay, Twilight?"

"I...think I might have a letter to write," Twilight said, preparing her quill and a sheet of parchment paper. "Great-Grandmare Velvet always did look a bit...scaly."