Kitchen Nightmares

by Acoustic Pulse

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Coriander Cumin, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Saffron Masala, Comedy, Profanity
Length: 6047

Coriander and Saffron need help, so they asked the best in the business.

Coriander Cumin and his daughter, Saffron Masala, are struggling with their restaurant. Business had been good and the reviews had been good, all except for one.

Esteemed food critic, Last Word, gave their restaurant a very scathing review. It was a crushing blow to their image as mob mentality settled in and less ponies frequented the establishment.

They need help keeping it open, so they turn to the only stallion they can think of that could be of any assistance, Tirek's Kitchen owner, Gordon Ramsay.

Will he be able to help them or is it a lost cause? Read and find out.

Published 2018-10-15 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-12 06:23:42 UTC

Enter Blandman

Author's Note

Someone had a similar idea a long time ago, but I decided I wanted to make my own version.

Less funny than "IT'S RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!" and a little more dramatic.

Hope y'all like it.

Enter Blandman

Saffron Masala scanned the empty dining room, a look of total dejection on her face. It was never busy, but it had never been this slow before.

Her father, Coriander Cumin, exited the kitchen, "I don't know why you're acting so surprised. We rarely see customers anymore, especially after that review from Last Word. He pulled no punches. I had never felt so insulted in my life! This place of business has been in Canterlot for years, he had no right disrespecting us that way."

Saffron rolled her eyes and sighed, "Father, you do realize that our lack of confidence is rubbing off on the food, don't you? It's not even fun to cook anymore, it's miserable. You're always so pessimistic. It's to the point where I don't even want to do this anymore."

"Are you quitting on me? You've devoted your entire life to helping me, why would you leave now?" her father looked increasingly worried.

"I'm not going anywhere, father, but we need help. I think I know the pony we need to talk to about this. He'll tell us what we need to hear, rather than what you want to hear. Maybe those critics were right," Saffron replied.

Coriander looked into his daughter's eyes. The determination in them was evident. He hoped that her idea would work, "If this is what you think we need to do, then let's get it done."

"Really? You're actually listening to me?" Saffron was ecstatic.

"Yes, now go find this 'helper' of yours," Coriander beckoned her to go.

"Okay. I'll be back later," Saffron promised.

Saffron Masala trotted slowly down the street. All the other restaurants were packed, all except for The Tasty Treat, which was deserted. It hurt her to see the thing she has poured her entire life into look so rundown and decrepit.

The appearance of the restaurant reflected her inner feelings, worn out and tired. She prayed to Celestia that the stallion she had in mind would actually help her.

She made it down the strip of restaurants on Restaurant Row until she made it to the last one and arguably the most popular, Tirek's Kitchen. The T resembled a pitchfork and the K was engulfed in flames. The sign outside had the head of a bull with fire billowing out of its nose.

Saffron took a deep breath and entered the restaurant. Every table was full except one. The host, a young stallion from Prance, approached her, "Bonjour, madame. Are you dining in this evening?"

The heavy accent caught her offguard, "Actually, I was hoping to speak to the Chef. If he is busy, I can come back later. I know business is always booming in here."

The host nodded, "Take a seat at that empty table. I'll see if he has a moment to spare."

Saffron went and sat down at the table. She looked into the kitchen. It was divided into two lines. One with red walls and one with blue walls. The red room had an entire group of mares in red jackets. The other side had an entire group of stallions in blue jackets. The bizarre setup left her both confused and amused.

Some commotion came from the red kitchen. Apparently, one of the mares had undercooked an entreé. She finally caught a glimpse of Chef Ramsay, who was livid.

"WHO COOKED THIS DISH?" he boomed.

A mint green mare with a blonde mane and tail raised her hoof sheepishly. "I did, Chef."

"I should have known. LOOK AT THIS DAFFODIL AND DAISY SANDWICH! THE FLOWERS ARE SO RAW THAT THEY'RE STILL BLOOMING! DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO SERVE THIS SHIT?" Ramsay boomed furiously.

The mint green mare shook her head, "No, chef."

"No? WHY THE FUCK AM I HOLDING IT THEN? YOU MUST HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS DONE IF YOU BROUGHT IT TO ME. DID YOU KNOW IT WAS RAW AND JUST NOT CARE?" Ramsay was still fuming. Saffron could've swore she saw smoke rising from his ears.

The green mare was terrified, "I was in a hurry, chef, I promise it won't happen again."

"YOU'RE LUNA DAMNED RIGHT IT WON'T, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE HERE TO FUCK IT UP A SECOND TIME. FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS!" he commanded.

"Yes, chef. I'm sorry, chef," the mint green mare was in tears.

"Don't apologize to me, Apple Tarty, you know better! I taught you better than that," Ramsay lowered his tone, but the disappointment was still there.

She couldn't respond because her tears were choking her. She simply did as he said and left.

"BLUE TEAM," Ramsay boomed.

"YES, CHEF?" they answered in unison.

"Get me a refire on that sandwich, show these mares how it's done, yes?"

"YES, CHEF," they went to work.

The esteemed chef turned to his host who was patiently waiting for the debacle to settle down, "What is it, Crunchy?"

"Chef, there is a guest who would like to speak to you when you have a chance. She said if you were busy, then she could come back later," the host answered.

Ramsay looked around the dining room. He saw a familiar face, "Oh. The one from The Tasty Treat. Ironic name for a rundown shithole like that. Very well, I will humor her."

"Oui, chef," the host nodded and went to seat the ponies who just entered.

Ramsay turned to his Sous Chef, "Hold down the fort for me, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Yes, chef," his Sous Chef turned his attention to the sandwich that was coming up. He checked it, it was much better than the first attempt.

"Good work, fellas. Service, please!" A waiter picked up the serving platter and carried it to the table.

He set it down, "Here you are, enjoy!"

The mare who ordered the sandwich was incredibly patient and polite, "Thanks a lot!"

"Anytime, love. Do come back and see us," the waiter smiled.

"You know I will," she replied.

Chef Ramsay approached the table Saffron Masala was sitting at, "You wanted to speak to me, my darling?"

The calmer and more respectful tone in his voice caught her offguard, "Oh, uh, yes. My father and I are in desperate need of your help. The Tasty Treat is going under. I've heard of your successes turning terrible restaurants into good ones. We don't want to suffer the impending doom that is upon us. If you can help us, Chef Ramsay, we would be eternally grateful."

Chef Ramsay looked out the window. He could see the restaurant at the end of the street. It looked out of place, like it didn't belong. He was sure he could be the one to fix it. It would just be another addition to his many accolades.

He turned his attention back to Saffron, "I'll see what I can do. You seem like you want what's best for your restaurant. I can at least respect that. To put it bluntly, however, this restaurant is a stain on the rest on this street. It looks like absolute shit and the one time I visited, the food was ice cold. The tea tasted like boiled piss, the bread looked like it was still dough, the salad was yellow. Are you trying to kill somepony? That's how you do it right there."

Saffron listened intently, "I know. My father and I lost confidence in ourselves after receiving the bad reviews. Everypony who read them wouldn't go near us. They wouldn't touch The Tasty Treat with a 10-foot pole. We need that confidence, I convinced him that we needed your help. You said you were willing to help, so whatever we need to do, we'll get it done. Let me warn you in advance that my father is stubborn and traditional, he is not open to anything new. I will also need your help changing his mind about that."

"I'll do everything in my power, but you have to help me help you. If your father undermines everything we make progress in, you might as well flush that piece of shit down the toilet, cuz you'll be up shit's creek without a paddle."

"I know, just please try to help us," Saffron pleaded.

Gordon sighed, "I'll try."

End of Chapter 1!

Ramsay's Arrival

Saffron Masala unlocked the doors to The Tasty Treat and switched the closed sign to open. Her father was in the kitchen beginning prep.

Saffron took a rag and wetted it. Once it was damp, she began wiping down the tables. The sound of the door opening froze her in her tracks.

The first customer they'd had in days. She instinctively blurted out, "Welcome to the Tasty Treat. Take a seat, we'll get you something to eat!"

"I appreciate the warm welcome, Ms. Saffron," the customer replied.

His voice sounded familiar to her. She looked up and realized who he was, "Oh, Chef Ramsay. You're here. Good timing, my father is finishing prep now. I still have to clean the lobby."

Gordon smiled, "Take your time, my darling. I'll go and meet your father."

"Yes, chef," she chuckled, remembering the outlandish scene from the previous evening.

Coriander Cumin put the last lid on the holding dishes. He looked around to see what needed to be cleaned. Before he could start, he was stopped in his tracks by who entered the kitchen, "Gordon Ramsay, as I live and breathe. I didn't think I'd see you again after the fiasco that went down last time."

Ramsay cringed, remembering it, "That service was dreadful. I am going to hope that you won't pull another stunt like that one."

"Oh, no, you have my word," Coriander threw his hoof up in the air, causing his belly to jiggle.

Gordon nodded, "I'll eat before we get started. It's something I always do."

Coriander smiled, "Of course! Find a seat and we'll fix you something."

Gordon went back into the dining room. He sat in a booth near the window. He looked down the street at his own restaurant. He hoped that he could turn The Tasty Treat into a restaurant with the same popularity as his own. Most chefs fear competition, but Gordon relished in it.

He sat staring at the menu. He laughed when he saw Hay Curry, "That's a new one, I'll try that."

Saffron approached his table, ready to take his order. Gordon looked at the menu some more, "Okay, I'll try the Hay Fries on the appetizer menu, the Curry on the entreé menu, and the apple pie off the dessert menu. You can't go wrong with Apple Pie."

Saffron smiled, "We'll get your order as soon as possible."

Gordon sat, patiently waiting. He looked at the tabletop. It was spotless, which gave him a little hope for this place.

He got down looking under the table, the sight immediately set him off, "CHEWING GUM UNDER THE TABLES?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!"

Saffron stopped dead in her tracks. She smacked herself upside the head, "How did I forget that?"

Coriander looked up from the kitchen, "Saffron, I've told you so many times to clean the tops and the bottoms of the tables."

Saffron was too embarrassed to respond. She looked over at Gordon, who had relaxed. She took this time to respond, "Father, I don't mean any disrespect to you, but you spend all your time in the kitchen. We were deserted yesterday, you could have taken care of it while I was gone trying to get Chef Ramsay's help. Now he's here and you're wanting to pin the blame on me and use me as a scapegoat. Do remember that this is your restaurant as much as it is mine."

Coriander nodded, "That's true, but you still could have done it before you left."

Saffron shook her head in frustration, "This is exactly what I mean. It's miserable to work here now. It used to be fun spending time with you. Cooking together was how we bonded. We don't do it anymore. We bicker and argue over the most ridiculous things. This is why nopony wants to eat here. This is why the critics talk trash about us, this is why we never make any progress. Things like this, it has to stop, Father. I've poured my entire life into helping you keep this ship afloat. It's to the point where I'm pulling all the weight and you're just coasting at the top of the wave, taking all the credit for what I contribute as well. It's unfair. I'm sick and tired of it."

Coriander was fuming, "I BUILT THIS RESTAURANT FROM THE GROUND UP! YOU COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING YOU WANTED, YOU CHOSE TO HELP ME!"

"Well, if you're so good on your own, perhaps you don't need my help," Saffron went to the back and came back with an ice scraper.

She stormed out of the kitchen and angrily flipped a table. She began vigorously scraping the gum off the bottom of it, knowing she would rather do that than attack her father with it.

Gordon had seen enough, he entered the kitchen, "Are you seriously going to stand here looking stupid instead of getting out there and helping your daughter? TAKE INITIATIVE, YOU BLUBBERY BASTARD. IF SHE CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU."

Coriander sighed, "Luna damn it, I'm in charge here.

"FUCKING ACT LIKE IT THEN, TAKE CHARGE. HELP YOUR DAUGHTER. I'LL BUY YOU A SECOND SCRAPER IF I HAVE TO. JUST WORK TOGETHER, YOU FAT FUCK. YOUR DAUGHTER IS MORE OF A STALLION THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!"

Gordon took a breath and lowered his tone, "Just look at her. I was expecting her to leave the restaurant. Instead, she's going to work cleaning this gum. You realize how disgusting that is, right? That gum looks like it has been there so long, it could have been chewed by Starswirl The Bearded."

Coriander nodded, "You're both right. But if we're cleaning the lobby, who's gonna do prep? Who's gonna set tables? Who's gonna wash dishes? It's just been the two of us here. We can't afford to hire any help. It kills me because Saffron speaks truth, she has poured her entire life into helping me and she has nothing to show for it. She has every right to be angry. I'm just as angry with myself."

"Show it then. Use that anger to light a fire under your fat elephant ass and DO SOMETHING BESIDES STANDING HERE!" Gordon's stomach growled.

Coriander looked up, "Do you still want what you ordered or would you rather not?"

Gordon sighed, "Alright, I'll try your food again, I'll tell you how it is, then we really need to get back down to business here."

"Right. Sounds good," Coriander seemed a little more confident.

"I knew I'd get through to you eventually," Gordon smiled. The smile faded when he saw Saffron still cleaning the lobby alone.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he said and left the restaurant.

Gordon entered Tirek's Kitchen. The waiters had just gotten done cleaning the lobby.

"Double Time, Speedy Service, come here a moment," he called.

The two waiters stopped what they were doing and cantered up to the chef.

"Yes, chef?" they replied in unison.

"That restaurant down the street is short on help, they need their lobby cleaned. It's dreadful. Gum under the tables, gunk from spilled drinks all over the chairs, and there's only one mare cleaning it all by herself," Gordon explained the situation.

"Do we have to clock out?" Double Time asked.

Gordon laughed, "No, don't clock out. You're still working."

Speedy Service shook his head, smiling at his coworker.

"That was a stupid question," Double Time admitted.

"Let's just go," Gordon exited, his waiters following closely behind.

His host leaned out the door, "CHEF! WHO'S GOING TO SERVE THE FOOD?"

"YOU, A MEMBER OF THE RED TEAM, AND A MEMBER OF THE BLUE TEAM!" he called back.

"Okay!" the door closed.

Gordon entered the Tasty Treat, his help following closely behind.

"Saffron, I brought you some help," he pointed at his waiters.

"Chef Ramsay, you didn't have to do that," she was only on the second table.

"You're struggling. You sought me out and asked for my help. I'm doing my part," Gordon replied.

The two waiters went to work, helping her clean the tables. One got the booths on the left and the other started on the right. Saffron kept her focus on the table and chairs in the middle.

Coriander served the dishes to Gordon, "Hay Fries, Hay Curry, and Apple Pie."

Gordon tasted the Hay Fries, "That's bland. No seasoning whatsoever. Just tastes like dirt."

Coriander nodded, taking away the Hay Fries and setting the Curry down. Gordon tasted it. It took everything in his power not to spit take, "The Curry would have been fine if the bowl wasn't full of soap. You didn't even rinse it out, you just dumped this shit in here. Are you trying to poison somepony? I could've swore we had a similar conversation last time I was here. Have you learned nothing?"

Coriander took the Hay Curry and served him the Apple Pie. Gordon tasted it, "That's odd. It's piping hot at the top, but ice cold at the bottom. Cold pie is good, warm pie is good. Together, it's just weird. Did you bake this? This tastes like frozen section supermarket pie."

Coriander confessed, "It was store-bought. I just threw it in the oven."

"That lack of effort and half-assery is why your restaurant is always empty. The citizens of Canterlot already know what they're up against. They're spoiled and rich, but they're not stupid," Gordon sighed.

"What do you think we should do?" Coriander was finally opening up to Gordon's help.

"Glad you see things my way, uh, what's your name again?" Gordon asked.

"Coriander Cumin."

"Ah, Coriander. Okay. I'll leave my trusty sidekicks to help you lot clean up. I'll be back tomorrow and we can start sorting things out. Sound good?" Gordon asked.

"Yes, chef," Saffron answered. Coriander nodded in agreement.

"Good. There's progress to be made here. There is still hope for The Tasty Treat, I know it. You both need to help me help you though. If I do everything myself, you won't learn anything and you'll just go back to making the same mistakes and experiencing even more trouble," Gordon left after that warning.

End of Chapter 2!

Reheating The Treat

Gordon entered The Tasty Treat once again. Saffron and Coriander were there to greet him when he entered.

"Good morning, Chef Ramsay," Coriander said to him.

"Good morning," he returned the greeting.

"What's the game plan for today?" Saffron asked, seemingly a lot less irritable than she was the previous day.

"Well, we have the lobby looking absolutely spotless, I hope it stays this way. Today, I am going to take a good look around the kitchen to see if anything needs to be cleaned. We will also need to make sure that all the ingredients are being stored properly. For example, we can't have any of the fruits and vegetables falling on the floor and getting bruised. We can't have spices just laying around and spilling everywhere, it'll just be a huge mess. Organization is important in any workplace, but a kitchen needs to be pristine. I want this kitchen so sanitary and squared away that Celestia herself would be proud to come in here and eat a meal. Sound like a plan?" Gordon rambled.

The father and daughter duo nodded, eager to get the show on the road. Gordon wasted no time, entering the kitchen. He looked at the holding containers on the service line, "Inside, they're clean, which is good. However, the outsides are filthy. A little sponge and water will easily clean this off. You expect me to believe that two unicorns are not capable of just making them fly? Dish washing should be a quick and easy task for the both of you. This is ridiculous. Look at these rusty trays. Old food caked into them. This is a health hazard, are you fucking kidding? You two must have gone mad. No wonder this restaurant's empty, you do fuck-all to keep the place clean. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

Saffron immediately went to work cleaning the stains off the holding tins.

Gordon turned to Coriander, "You realize for those to look like that, it means that the entire service line is probably filthy, right?"

Coriander nodded, but remained silent.

"You do? Then please explain why the fuck this oven looks like someone cooked a gryphon in it alive and it just shat everywhere and then the shit got burnt and charred and it's all over the racks. This oven is dirtier than my language is, when was the last time you've actually cleaned it?" Gordon grumbled.

"Well, we were going to clean it yesterday, but you came in and addressed how bad the lobby was and we spent the whole day doing that," Coriander explained.

"What I saw was Saffron and my two waiters cleaning the lobby while you stood there looking more dazed than Shining Armor when he was hypnotized by Queen Chrysalis. You're in a world of your own, you lack any responsibility, you always have an excuse, I understand now that the problem is you. You're the reason this restaurant is going into the ground. Not Zesty Gourmand, not Last Word, not the citizens of Canterlot, not the tourists from other parts of Equestria, not your daughter, it's you. You two lack communication. Instead of working together, you're always bickering and arguing and at each other's throats. You're always finding excuses, rather than producing results. At this rate, I have a better chance of joining the Wonderbolts than saving this restaurant and I can't even fucking fly," Gordon's tone was calm, but there was venom in his words.

"I still don't know who you think you are to come up into my restaurant like you own it, telling me how to run it," Coriander also kept his tone low, but he was visibly irritated by Gordon's tongue lashing.

"In case you forgot, shit-for-brains, I'm the one you two asked to save this trash heap. I'm here to help you, free of charge, might I add. One of two things is going to happen. One: You drop the tough guy act and start taking my advice or Two: I can quit wasting my fucking time and leave this lost cause to rot," Gordon shot back.

Saffron, who was still washing dishes, turned to Coriander, "Father, don't be so stubborn. He is trying to help us. Don't you want The Tasty Treat to be the household name it once was? Ponies used to come from all over Equestria to eat here. Don't you want to return it to its former glory?"

Coriander smiled at the thought, reminiscing on his past success, "Leaving won't be necessary, Chef Ramsay. I apologize if I've been abrasive, I've just never been one to back down from confrontation."

Gordon laughed, "Look, if you want a confrontation, I'll give you a confrontation, but I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help you. Are you going to let me help you or are we going to continue with this pointless back and forth?"

"I'm ready to work with you," Coriander smiled reassuringly.

"Good, let's get this Luna damned kitchen cleaned before I lose my fucking mind," Gordon breathed a sigh of relief.

Together, the three of them cleaned the service line, the front counter where the register was, the ovens, the stoves, the microwaves, the toasters, the dishes. It was completely spotless, it looked brand new.

Saffron smiled, "It hasn't been this clean since we built the place."

Coriander nodded, "I know, I thought I had done a better job at keeping it clean than this, I truly didn't realize it had gotten that damned bad."

Gordon laughed, "Now that the lobby and the kitchen are both clean and actually safe to have ponies in them, I am going to try and open the place up tomorrow. There needs to be a new paint job and a new sign. I feel like the main reason you two aren't getting business is because it looks so shitty on the outside, that they think it's abandoned. I feel like we can get that done during the night and have this place back up and running."

Coriander sighed, "Should we even open tomorrow then? Or should we say we're closed for renovations?"

Gordon smirked, "Just come back tomorrow, you'll see what I mean."

Saffron had an idea of what was going to happen, but she kept to herself, "We look forward to it. See you tomorrow, Chef Ramsay."

"Yes, and thank you again for helping us. You truly are a lifesaver and a business saver," Coriander added.

"You two gave me a job, I'm going to get it done, rest assured. This place will be the talk of the town again, if it's the last thing I do," Gordon promised.

"Of course, you've been a huge help to us," Saffron smiled.

"Almost forgot, I'm glad I thought about it, I checked the storage area where the food is kept, it was actually flawless. I will commend you both for that. If you put as much effort into the rest of the place as you did into keeping that storage room organized, this restaurant would be in much better shape and you lot wouldn't have even needed my help," Gordon added.

"Thank you, Chef Ramsay," Coriander extended his hoof.

Gordon hoof bumped him, "It's what I'm here for."

Coriander and Saffron exited for the night. Gordon stayed behind, planning on what to do with the outside. He was determined to make the exterior look as presentable as the interior.

End of Chapter 3!

Remodeling & Re-Opening

Author's Note

Finally wrapping this up. I decided to squeeze the last 2 chapters into 1 big chapter.

Remodeling & Re-Opening

Gordon and his renovation crew immediately went to work stripping off the chipped purple paint on the outside of the building. He looked around at the other ones. Something dawned on him.

"All these fucking restaurants look exactly the fucking same," he grumbled.

One of his crewponies turned to him, "Gordon, I got an idea. The Tasty Treat is a stupid name, we should change it."

Gordon thought for a moment and replied, "No. It's still gonna keep the same name. I'm only repainting the outside and the inside. Get your boys to clear everything out. We're not going to get this done if all we do is stand here looking stupid. Let's get to it."

His crewponies threw up mock salutes, "YES CHEF!"

Gordon shook his head, but it made him laugh, which was their goal. He went inside, the paint had been scraped off to only see blank wooden walls.

"Alright, we need the new kitchen equipment. I bought new ones. New grills, ovens, refrigeration units, freezers, the whole nine yards," Gordon told them.

"Oh, yeah, we're currently taking out the old stuff. We'll get to it in a little while," his crewpony explained.

"Okay, that's fine, just take your time and do it right. You're all doing great, let's keep it up," Gordon motivated his crew.

They removed the old equipment. Oil and grease stains were caked and splattered all over the back wall.

Gordon stared and sighed, "Luna damn it, I told them to move the shit back and clean that wall. I'm gonna have to grill them a new ass when they come back in tomorrow. For now, let's just get this clean."

Gordon grabbed a bottle of degreaser and opened it, "Gonna pour this across the wall. Just let it soak, we'll come back through with sponge and water when it dries, it'll be easier to clean it."

The renovation crew obliged and scraped the paint off the other walls. They took down the old decorations and put them carefully in boxes.

"I think these new ones will remind them more of home. I had them sent all the way here from their homeland. The artisans there were happy to help. Definitely going back there to visit sometime," Gordon rambled.

"Sounds good, we'll get to it then," one of his crewponies said.

Together, Gordon and his crew repainted the walls this orange with tinges of red and yellow.

"It looks like fire," one of the crewponies smiled at how it turned out.

"This is exactly how I envisioned it, this is great. That degreaser should be dry. Let's wash that wall off and paint it when it dries," Gordon said.

They went to work cleaning the wall. Once the grease and oil stains were gone, they were left to wait for it to dry. When it was dry, they painted the wall to look just like the rest of them.

"This is excellent. We're almost done. We just need to install the new kitchen equipment and then the paint can dry overnight. Good work, everypony," Gordon rallied his troops for one final mission.

Together, they all set up the new kitchen and they were finally done remodeling the inside.

"Last thing before we leave, we have to finish the outside wall. It hasn't been painted yet," Gordon took the paint and brushes outside.

His crew followed him out and they unanimously agreed to paint it the same design as the inside. They took down the profile of the elephant and replaced it with a huge ceramic elephant head. They hung up the old sign just above the door when they walked in.

"We're ready. Thank you all for your help. Go on home, get some rest, you all earned it. I'll pay you lot extra bits for getting all this done in one night," Gordon pulled a light cord inside that lit up the new neon sign.

His renovation crew left. Gordon returned to Tirek's Kitchen. He wasn't tired so he went up to check on his teams of chefs.

He started with the red kitchen. He tapped on the door, "Red team?"

They were all awake talking to each other. Apple Tarty opened the door. She shrunk back when she saw Chef Ramsay.

"Good evening, I have a proposition for you lot. I haven't spoken to the Blue Team about it yet, but they will have the same opportunity," he offered.

"What's the deal, chef?" one of the other mares asked.

"Easy. I'm picking one member from each team. Those two will get to cook at the grand reopening of that old run down shop down the street," Gordon replied.

This was Apple Tarty's shot at redemption. She jumped up eagerly, "I'll do it!"

The other red team members began to bicker about it.

"ENOUGH! Talk amongst yourselves and come back to me once you have decided on who to nominate," Gordon quelled the arguing.

He turned to leave, but another member of the red team stopped him, "Chef. We decided to let Apple Tarty do it."

"Sounds like a plan. Get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow," he exited.

Gordon moved down the hall to where the blue team was staying. He knocked on the door, "Blue team?"

A member of the blue team opened the door and yawned, "Hey, Chef Ramsay. What's up?"

"Hello, Typhoon. Are you the only one awake?" he asked.

The blue team member scanned the room, "I think so."

"Well, you snooze, you lose. I need your help with something," Gordon replied.

"Sure, Chef. What can I do for you?" he inquired.

"I need you to help Coriander and Saffron across the street. They're reopening their place tomorrow and it's going to be packed. I got Apple Tarty from the Red Team. I'll be there as well, so we'll get everything done. I'll need you to double as waiting staff because they're shorthoofed," Gordon Ramsay explained the situation.

"Absolutely. I'm down. See you tomorrow, I'll be there with bells on," Typhoon smiled.

"That's what I like to hear. Have a good night, I'll see you tomorrow," Gordon left.

A new day dawned. It was time to reopen the Tasty Treat. Gordon and his two chefs were already there.

It wasn't long before Coriander Cumin and Saffron Masala arrived. They stared at the new restaurant in disbelief.

"It's beautiful," Saffron couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, it is. Thank you for doing this, Chef Ramsay," Coriander took a respectful bow.

"Don't thank me yet, my friends, there's a lot of work left to be done," Gordon replied.

"Of course," Coriander turned the closed sign to open. Gordon saw curious customers leaving other restaurants and making their way toward the Tasty Treat.

"I'm glad to see it's fixed up. I used to eat here a lot but the quality went way down and I was afraid to come back. I'm willing to give this place another chance, a customer said.

"Welcome to the Tasty Treat! Find a seat, we'll get you something to eat," Saffron smiled and opened the door, letting the patrons in. They all corralled inside the building, finding places to sit.

Coriander went around taking their orders. Saffron, Gordon, Apple Tarty, and Typhoon worked together cooking in the kitchen.

"I love this new equipment, it even sparkles when it's filthy," Saffron smiled.

"Don't let that get to your head. If I come in here and see food stains on that stove, I'll make you eat it," Gordon scowled.

Saffron nodded, "Yes, Chef."

Gordon laughed, "I'm just playing with you. A clean kitchen is important though, remember to do that every night after closing."

"Of course, we won't let you down," Coriander called from the dining room.

"Better not, I don't like wasting my time," Gordon replied.

The front door opened again and everyone froze except for Gordon. You could hear a pin drop when 2 ponies entered the establishment, food critics Last Word and Zesty Gourmand.

"What's everypony doing in this run down old trash heap?" Zesty raised an eyebrow.

Gordon slammed his hoofs on the front counter, "The only thing old and run down in here is you, old hag. You have more bags under your eyes than a supermarket. Either sit your arrogant ass down and eat or fuck off. The patrons are enjoying their evening and do not want it ruined by some airhead who thinks she knows every-fucking-thing."

"Old hag? The absolute nerve! I'll try their food one more time. If it's still bad, I'll leave another scathing review in the Canterlot Gazette and I'll be going after your place next. I have the power around here, we both know that," Zesty shot back.

Last Word had already taken his seat and was eating his order of curry, "Dude, I dunno what your problem is, this is the best damned curry in all of Equestria and you're not even going to try it?"

"Best in Equestria? Are you mad?" Zesty scoffed.

Last Word shoved the bowl in her face, "Just try it, you stubborn packmule."

Zesty just about faced and left the restaurant, skulking in defeat.

"Just like last time, father," Saffron giggled.

Coriander laughed along with her, "I'm ecstatic! I can't believe Gordon pulled this off. We're back on the map!"

Last Word finished his meal, "Way to rebound, guys. I'm proud of you both."

"Thank you. We couldn't have done it without Chef Ramsay," Coriander shamelessly admitted.

"You should be thanking your daughter. She was the one who enlisted my help in the first place," Gordon pointed out.

"Of course, I'm always grateful for her. She's my pride and joy," Coriander hugged his daughter.

Saffron returned the hug. The reopening was a success. Gordon, Apple Tarty, and Typhoon stayed to help them with the dinner rush. There was still much to be done, but their future looked bright and their confidence restored.

THE END!