An Assistant's Assistance

by Some Leech

Rating: mature
Tags: Thriller, Porn, Fetish, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4316

Princess Celestia, upon hearing of a rather inappropriate imposter, decides to seek assistance from Twilight Sparkle.

Waking up to a raunchy video of herself wasn't really on Princess Celestia's to-do list for the day. Somehow, someone managed to create a rather bawdy video of her and post it to Clophub. In the face of imminent social and political upheaval, she turns to Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic and dear friend, for help. If anypony can clean up this mess, it would be her. Let's just hope that she's not too late...

Kinks include: Female on Futa, Futa on Female, Sexy Outfits, Seduction, Spontaneous Ejaculation, Oral, Vaginal, Rough Sex, Squirting, Cumflation, Excessive Amounts of Jizz, and Nefarious Plots

Artwork by Forsaken

Published 2018-10-17 20:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-17 20:20:02 UTC

A Good, Hard Friendship Lesson

Celestia, eldest alicorn in all of Equestria and Princess of the sun, sat at her desk, watching the video for the third time that morning. Her fingers steepled, and brow knit, she studied the salacious recording with a scrutinizing eye. The last thing she could have predicted doing that morning, after raising the sun and ceremonially devouring a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes, replete with whipped cream, salted caramel drizzle, and dusting of cocoa powder, was to learn that someone had released a pornographic film starring an imposter of, none other than, herself. After invoking the dawn, and feasting upon her magnificently presented breakfast, her sister, Luna, had broken the news. The entirety of the internet was in an uproar, with some applauding the alabaster alicorn’s performance, while others mocked and scorned the shameless display. Needless to say, she wasn’t exactly thrilled.

The video was, supposedly, of the Celestia, servicing and being humiliated by a pair of zebra stallions in a hotel room. As vexed as she was, she had to begrudgingly admit, the production was professionally made. Everything from the lighting and the camera work to the perfect imitation of herself was flawlessly executed. Somehow, they’d managed to mirror her look impeccably, from her finely pedicured hooves to her flowing, astral mane. Hearing the door open, the Princess cast a baleful gaze towards the would be interloper. One of her praetorians, Victory, if she remembered the armor clad pegasus mare’s name correctly, came trotting up.

“Report,” Celestia intoned, crossing her arms under her hefty bosoms and leaning back in her high backed chair.

“We still don’t know where the recording was uploaded from, Ma’am,” the pegasus stated, snapping a crisp salute.

“Really, is it that hard to glean this information?” the alicorn sighed, one hand snaking up between her breasts as she pinched the bridge of her snout. Although the internet had provided a myriad of social and educational benefits, it also provided a means for drama and friction within the masses. Communication could be done in the blink of an eye and, as such, various issues had, on occasion, arisen. Obscene rumors, political smear campaigns, urban legends, and porn, good lord the porn.

“I’m sorry Ma’am, the ones responsible were using a proxy of some sort. We’re still trying to track it down but it may be impossible,” Victory responded somberly.

“Can’t we just take these down? Delete them or something?” Celestia groaned, waving at the frozen image on the computer screen. She could already feel a headache coming on, which was never a good sign this early in the morning.

The pegasus soldier slowly shook her head. “I don’t think we can, Ma’am. At this point, mirrored videos are already springing up at an astonishing rate. Apparently, there are even edits being created and posted,” the praetorian explained. Even though she wouldn’t admit it, a couple of the altered versions of the recording were pretty funny; in particular, the one where Celestia came rainbows and exploded.

“For bucks’ sake, things where so much easier when I could simply have dissidents thrown in a gulag or banished for eternity,” the Princess grumbled. Slumping forward onto the table, and resting her head on her pillowy tits, she pouted. The alicorn could already tell that dealing with the fallout of this incident would be a nightmare. She’d likely have to hold press conferences, make apologetic appearances to contest the validity of the video, and produce a number of public service announcements to condemn such imitations from being manufactured. Lastly, and most infuriatingly, Celestia was deeply upset with the entire affair; not because of the backlash, but because it had been nearly a century since she’d gotten a hard dicking.

Being an alicorn Princess was a bit of a double edged sword. Sure, you got nearly unlimited political power and magic, but it wasn’t without cost. Being a living demigod meant you, as a symbol of your people and the collective subspecies of ponies, had to behave in a certain way. Long gone were the days of wild parties and brazenly slinging leg for an attractive stallion or mare. Ponies talked and, typically, needed to be paid for their silence. In ages long past, she could have simply imprisoned anyone who posed any manner of threat, locking them away in a dungeon. That being said, Celestia had to change with the times, curtailing her actions to best fit her role.

“I’ll contact the espionage specialists in our electronic warfare division. If we’re lucky, they’ll be able to spin the story as an act of some hostile force, maybe even turn this in your favor,” Victory mused, rubbing her chin. Of course, she felt awful for her Princess, especially because the older mare wasn’t especially acquainted with the nuances of the internet age. Fortunately, the notion seemed to cheer the alicorn up a bit.

Celestia sat up before pushing herself away from the table to get to her feet. “Yes Victory, that sounds suitable. Please send word to Twilight that I’ll be paying her a visit after I change,” the Princess noted, sauntering off to her chambers. Honestly, she should have sought out her prodigal protégé as soon as she’d gotten word of this debacle. The Princess of friendship was, among other things, one of the most astute ponies she’d ever met.

“Yes Ma’am,” the pegasus saluted, turning and trotting towards the door to carry out her orders.

Thus, the two ponies parted, the Princess heading off to her room while her praetorian went off to fulfill her duties.

~

Twilight sparkle, Princess of Friendship and nerdy alicorn of Ponyville, had presumed that the day would be like any other. Unfortunately, she couldn’t have been more wrong. Upon waking, showering, and donning a lovely mauve sundress Rarity had given her, she began going through her normal routine of checking the news and reading her emails in her office of the friendship school. Curiously, she stumbled across reports of a leaked sex video featuring Celestia. Searching for the questionable material, for posterity of course, the purple mare quickly located the scandalous recording. Acting quickly, she informed her friends and fellow staff members to cut all access to the internet, fearing the students may stumble across the inappropriate material. Furthermore, she instructed Starlight Glimmer that she was not to be disturbed.

Locking herself in her office, Twilight sat her computer down and pressed the play button. Nearly instantly, the pendulous log of flesh hanging between her thighs sprang to life. She was, and always had been, a dickmare, even prior to her ascension of alicorn Princess. Being a female with a penis came with a few setbacks, namely, a voracious sexual appetite. Thankfully, years of self discipline, and a keen intellect, kept her lewd predilections in check; that, and she was constantly having to save Equestria from some dire threat or another. Sadly, any pretense of self control utterly and immediately disintegrated when the purple pony saw the recording.

Twilight had always found her mentor irresistible. Celestia was, to her, the epitome of beauty and grace. The alabaster alicorn was the embodiment of matronly sexuality, tall, curvaceous, and delightfully cheeky. Even as a youth, she’d furiously masturbated to the elder Princess, often after spending any amount of immediate contact with t in her studies. As such, the discovery of the bawdy film, real or not, sent Twilight into a tailspin of desire.

Propping one foot on her desk, the purple alicorn began stroking her prodigious member. She’d had the forethought to cast a soundproof spell on the room, preventing any of the lusty moans from the recording, or herself, from being heard by any of the students or faculty. Her fingers wrapped around the violet flesh of her length, and she groaned. She scarcely noticed the flash of light from one corner, as she continued to get herself off. It wasn’t until she heard someone clearing their throat, that she looked up.

There, standing to the side of her office, was none other than Princess Celestia herself. Concealed under a tanned trench coat, and a wide brimmed fedora, she was nearly unidentifiable. If it weren’t for the astral mane and tail creeping from beneath the garments, Twilight wouldn’t have recognized her at all. Rocketing to her feet, Twilight flew into a panic. Not only had she been caught jacking off in the workplace, but by her idol no less. Knocking the laptop from the desk, and upending several neatly stacked piles of reports in the process, she faced her senior Princess.

“P...Princess Celestia, w...what brings you here?” Twilight stammered, fighting to restrain her boner while blushing heavily. Under normal circumstances, she’d have the appendage magically concealed but, given the unexpected arrival of her guest, and how out of sorts she was already, the option didn’t come to mind.

“Twilight, we need to talk…” Celestia whispered, her magenta eyes peeking out from under her hat. Spying her protégé’s erection, she blushed herself. While aware that her student was equipped with a dick, she hadn’t known it was nearly as substantial as it was. The limb, for lack of a better term, had to be nearly a foot long and traced with fat, angry veins. Darker in color than her coat, the organ led down to a wine colored sheath and pair of ripe, large balls.

Taking note of where her former teacher was looking, the Princess of Friendship’s anxiety only grew. “I...It’s not what you think! I was, uh, I was giving myself an exam! Gotta stay healthy right!!!” Twilight stammered, fondling her testacles while grinning like a mare gone mad. “Yup, no lumps here!” she continued, praying that the slapdash excuse for being caught with her pants down would assuage her mentor.

Taking off her hat and casting it aside, Celestia strutted forward, causing the smaller pony to take a step back. “Twilight, I’m sure you’ve heard about that, ahem, unfortunate video of my doppelganger,” she somberly murmured.

“What video? I don’t know about any video! Is it a home video? I mean, videos can be a good thing!” the purple Princess nervously prattled on, her obsessive nature and uneasiness causing her brain to short circuit. To make matters worse, a gobbet of pre-cum oozed from her tool, dangling from her length as she continued to backpedal. In a matter of moments, she felt her back pressed against the wall. Her wings, fully outstretched, fluttered, as as the white alicorn drew nearer.

“Twilight, dearest Twilight, you know good and well what I’m talking about,” Celestia muttered, “and it’s gotten me thinking…” Carefully reaching into her coat, she retrieved a small, portable camera with a curious little ring attachment. Gingerly, she affixed the device to Twilight’s horn, effectively allowing the gadget to record activities from a first-person perspective. “Over all these years, we haven’t recorded any memories of our own,” she sighed, turning her back to the purple mare and taking a few steps away.

“I...wha...what do you…” Twilight sputtered, altogether perplexed. Feeling the slight weight of the camera attached on her horn, and looking to the snow white mare, she wasn’t sure what to think. She did have a few photos of herself and Celestia, mostly from social gatherings or from her time growing up in Canterlot, but she didn’t have any videos of her fellow Princess. Her bewilderment kicked her analytical side into high gear, helping her regain focus. “I’m not sure this is the best time for…” Twilight’s words trailed off, as she watched her old teacher begin removing her coat.

Slipping the concealing garment from one shoulder, and then the other, Celestia let the cloak-like article fall to the floor. She turned her head, looking over at the shocked Princess. “I think it’s the perfect time to document our friendship,” the elder alicorn cooed, leaning forward and presenting her exposed derriere while leering back at her prized pupil with a single, emerald eye.

Twilight Sparkle spontaneously ejaculated, sending thick ropes of spunk over the carpeted floor as she fell to her knees. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Princess Celestia, the pony she looked up to more than any other in all of existence, was standing, stark naked, in her office. Well, technically, nearly naked. Bright pink leather thigh-high boots, each wrapped with pearly straps, adorned her legs, and her arms were clad in the same, brightly colored material. In all her years, she could only have imagined such a depraved scene, yet here it was, right in front of her. Her eyes glazed over, and her cock twitched uncontrollably, as the white mare slowly wheeled back around to face her.

“Oh Twilight, you came,” the sun goddess giggled, striding forward. The little purple alicorn, while in shock, was unable to move. Seeing as how the element of magic had inadvertently knelt in supplication, Celestia thought it was only fitting to seize the moment. “Here,” she whispered, bringing her engorged and rosy red vulva just above Twilight’s muzzle. Still thoroughly stupefied, it appeared as though her protégé required additional encouragement. Steadily, she ground herself on the mulberry mare’s snout, coating it in her juices. Feeling the younger Princess’s fingers gliding up her legs, Celestia chuckled. “There’s a good girl,” she sighed, reaching down and spreading herself for her partner.

Her lips parted, allowing her tongue to shakily snake forward towards the godly marehood hovering above. No sooner had she given the astral Princess a lick, than a symphony of flavors coursed over Twilight’s palate. To actually taste her hero’s sex, having its satiny flesh caressing her taste buds, was more than she could have ever dreamed for. Digging her fingers into her partner’s supple thighs, she began eating the divine snatch, eagerly lapping at the picturesque entrance as she pulled the larger mare to herself. Her prick, even though it had just disgorged a rather substantial load, was once again at full mast.

“Oh Twilight,” Celestia groaned, grasping the junior alicorn by the mane and pulling her to herself, “I should have done this so long ago. I’m so, so sorry I abstained.”

Her old mentor’s words caused Twilight to pause. Pulling back and freeing her nectar soaked face, she peered up at Celestia. She didn’t know what to say. While it was true that she’d pined for the diarch since her youth, she had no idea the feeling had been mutual. She’d always assumed she’d have been shot down or, in the worst case scenario, expelled for expressing an interest in the Princess. Not that it really mattered at this point, having become a savior of Equestria and demigod herself. Before she could articulate a reply, Celestia stepped away, crossing to the table sitting at the back of the room. Bending over, the larger alicorn draped her torso on the polished wooden surface. Twilight’s cock spurted another glob of pre-cum, as the other Princess spread her legs.

“Seems like I still have much to learn. How about you come over and give me a good, long, hardfriendship lesson,” Celestia tittered, licking her lips as she peered over her shoulder at the element of harmony. To hammer the point home, she winked her marehood at Twilight, giving the younger pony a tantalizing glimpse at her glistening interior.

Leaping to her feet, Twilight virtually flung herself upon her fellow Princess, literally tearing off her sundress in the process. What little self restraint she’d had left crumbled in the face of the sun goddess’s drooling cunt. Bucking her hips like a wanton colt, her prick ineffectually prodded and ricocheted off the alabaster alicorn’s rear, landing glancing blows and smearing her partner’s fur with pre. After the third failed thrust, she snorted, angrily grabbing her shaft and guiding its blunt tip to Celestia’s entrance. Feeling the warm and moist lips of the larger pony’s marehood, she rammed forward, burying half her length into her partner’s confines. Although she was no virgin, having bedded several ponies in the past, all of the prior sexual experience she’d gleaned was discarded, in that moment. Grabbing the diarch’s hips, the Princess of friendship began jackhammering away with reckless abandon.

“Oh goodness,” the white alicorn lewdly moaned. Propped on her massive tits, she dug her hands under the udder-like pillows, questing for her nipples. Finding the sensitive buds of flesh, she began kneading and pinching the perky pink teats, adding to her pleasure. Her wings unfurled, splaying widely as she was furiously rutted from behind. So violent were Twilight’s movements, that her entire body, and desk beneath her, rocked with the carnal assault.

Looking between Celestia’s face and angelic, jiggling rump, Twilight wasn’t sure which she liked more. The ravishing ass, rippling with each impact of her hips, was captivating; but her partner’s face, eyes closed while biting her lip, was equally enthralling. One thing she was sure of, was that the older mare was the best piece of ass she’d ever had. She was reminded of a children’s fable by the elder female’s interior, tight, but not too tight, hot, but not too hot. It was almost like her former mentor’s marehood was made for her, molded to her regal tool in the best way imaginable. Shuffling closer, Twilight continued plowing the deity, steadily plunging deeper and deeper.

As soon as the battering ram-like head of Twilight’s tool bludgeoned her cervix, Celestia came with cataclysmic force. Fem-cum gushed from her filled snatch, obscenely squirting over her partner’s thighs and groin while her canal spasmed around the thick length of pony meat entombed within her. The situation was only exacerbated as the Princess of friendship came moments later, filling her insides with rich cream. Screaming to the heavens, the two ponies quaked in unison, each having brought the other to the height of ecstasy. Collapsing to the desk, Celestia was taken aback, as Twilight suddenly, and jarringly, flipped her onto her back.

If the Princess, her Princess, thought she was done, she was dead wrong. Hitching one of Celestia’s legs onto her shoulder, Twilight began thrusting again. She wouldn’t, nay, couldn’t, let an opportunity like this go to waste. This was the chance of a lifetime, and there was no way in Tartarus she was going to let it slip through her fingers. So great was her desire, that her refractory period, which usually followed an orgasm, was nonexistent. If someone had told her she’d died and gone to the next life, Twilight would have believed them. Celestia’s heavenly body, her colossal tits swaying rhythmically in tune with her bucking hips, was something she thought she’d never see, let alone experience.

Realizing the scene was far from over, the diarch wrapped her free leg around her partner’s waist, pulling her old student closer. Blinded by lust, all Celestia wanted was more. The sublime heat of the purple Princess’s seed coating her insides, squelching out of her abused cunt with each thrust, was simply marvelous. Looking up at the tiny camera, perched on her partner’s horn, she could only imagine how disgraceful she must look. Here she was, one of the rulers of the land, being rutted like some harlot on her protigee’s desk, in an educational facility of all places! Massaging one bosom, she invitingly hefted the other in Twilight’s direction.

Peering down at the titanic mammary, Twilight draped herself over the other Princess, locking her lips around the mare’s sensitive teet. Delicately suckling away, she continued to batter Celestia’s cervix. Each plunge, and subsequent impact upon her partner’s womb, caused the larger mare to squeal whorishly. The astral alicorn’s canal, juicy and velvety beyond all reasoning, almost seemed to milk her length, clamping down on her shaft with each backstroke while invitingly loosening to allow her entry with every thrust.

“Give me all of it,” Celestia mewled, squirmed below the younger alicorn. She yearned to be filled, bred to her fullest by the exquisite dickmare plumbing her depths. Having spent what felt like an eternity without a proper sexual partner, the diarch’s tolerance for being rutted was woefully atrophied. Even though she was well over a millennia old, she’d cum within minutes, and was quickly approaching another climax. Slipping her leg from Twilight’s shoulder, she dug both heels into her partner’s flanks, tugging her closer and spurring her to action.

Sensing her Princess’s desire, Twilight drove forward with unstoppable force. Celestia’s cervix yielded, clinging to the girthy rod as it bored into her womb. Together, the Princesses reached their limit. The act was singular in all of documented Equestrian history. Two alicorns, locked together in unadulterated bliss, came in tandem. Twilight’s plump balls quickly retracted to her groin, unleashing a tsunami of jizz up and through her shaft. Her cock bulged, as each shot of cream surged through its length. The head of her prick flared, sealing itself inside of her partner as it erupted with volcanic force. Celestia, her womb rapidly filling with a veritable tsunami of seed, writhed below the smaller pony. Though she couldn’t see it, she could feel her abdomen beginning to distend and bloat with the influx of spunk. She’d heard of ponies being inflated with cum, but had never experienced such a thing herself, that was, until that moment. Her orgasm was not unlike a supernova, all encompassing and of neigh inconceivable strength. The sensation of being creampied by an alicorn was remarkable, beyond the paltry ability of mortal words to describe. Together, the two heaved air into their chests, each riding out the seemingly endless moment of ecstasy into the calm, post coital stupor which typically follows such a grandiose act.

After what felt like an eternity, Twilight began to move, albeit unintentionally. The dickmare’s legs gave out out, leaving her to crash to the floor. Her prick, softened enough to escape the heavenly confines of her fellow Princess, slipped free of her partner. A deluge of juices and cum drenched the desk, carpet, and rag-dolled element of magic, but she didn’t care. Slumping to the carpet, she fought to maintain consciousness.

Celestia, while an abject mess and bloated with semen, lazily rolled off the desk. Rounding the piece of furniture, she shakily removed the recording device from the insensate purple alicorn’s horn. On unsteady legs, she shambled to her discarded coat and hat. Retrieving the items, and without saying a word, the sullied and weary looking Princess disappeared without a trace.

Left in a pool of regal effluence, Twilight looked around in a daze. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been lying on the floor, or where Celestia had gone, but a sudden, urgent rapping at her door drew her attention. Without warning, a snow white alicorn entered the room. Though her mental faculties were impaired by the epic sexual encounter, she could have sworn that the elder Princess hadn’t been garbed in a flowing white gown with golden filigree. “C...Celestia?” she croaked, even more confused than she had been.

“Twilight!” Celestia exclaimed, rushing over to her stricken student. “What in the world happened?!” she asked, helping her friend to a seated position.

“Only the best sex ever! I mean, you were there, remember?” the purple pony incoherently giggled, looking up at the older mare. Slowly, her cognitive functions began to return, and with them, a creeping sense of dread.

“Twilight, listen! Tell me exactly what happened!” the diarch pressed, gently shaking the element of magic.

“W...We had sex and…” Twilight began, a cold ball beginning to form in her stomach.

“No Twilight, no we didn’t. What else was there, anything strange or out of place?” Celestia inquired, a look of desperation on her face.

“W...well, you were wearing something really slutty and you put a camera…” with that final word, things started to fall in place. Memories of the recording of Celestia crept to the fore, exponentially increasing her alarm as the situation unfolded. “Oh...Oh no!!!” the young Princess bleated, eyes wide in shock.

Celestia wandered to the opposite wall, resting her back against it as she sunk to the floor. “Perfect, just...just perfect,” she grunted, frustratedly pinching and massaging the bridge of her snout.

“I...I didn’t know! I swear!!!” Twilight pleaded. Crawling to her friend and mentor, she left a sticky trail behind her, smearing the cocktail of cum and nectar over her belly. “Please! You have to believe me!” she begged, gently tugging at the hem of Celestia’s dress.

“I believe you Twilight,” the diarch uttered, reassuringly patting her student’s head. Whoever is doing this is beyond cunning, and that’s one reason I came to you. We need to figure out who is behind this, so we can put an end to it,” she continued, steeling her resolve.

Twilight nodded, setting her brow as she pushed herself up. “Of course Princess, I’ll do whatever I can,” she said, getting to her feet. Suddenly aware that she was buck naked and drenched in all manner of inappropriate fluids, she blushed. Attempting, and subsequently failing, to cover herself, she turned away. “Ok I’m gonna take a shower first, then I’ll help,” she squeaked, teleporting away to her chambers to shower and regain some sense of composure.

Celestia simply smiled and shook her head. Twilight was always delightfully easy to fluster and, even given the debaucherous circumstances of finding her in a cum drunk stupor, she couldn’t be angry. After all, who wouldn’t want to have a roll in the hay with the Princess of the Sun. Standing up, she began magically cleaning the area, removing any traces of the lascivious encounter and tidying up in the process. Twilight had worked hard to make a name for herself and even saved Equestria on a handful of occasions, so she’d earned her place as a fellow alicorn Princess. Seating herself in her protigee’s chair, Celestia awaited Twilight’s return. Her steepled fingers barely concealing the slightest grin on her face...