The Stormtroopers Face Down Sombra

by TDASA

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, Random, Crossover, Star Wars, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Roseluck, Other, Science Fiction, Comedy
Length: 1703

Sombra's forces will never withstand the might of the Empire!

The First Order has come to the "aid" of Equestria. They make the vital mistake of sending in Kylo Wren as well as a legion of stormtroopers.

Could be worse, they could've sent in a horde of Redshirts...

Published 2018-10-17 16:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-17 16:00:01 UTC

The Stormtroopers Face Down Sombra

Roseluck charged the enemy lines on the command of the Princess. Her spear held valiantly in front of her, she shouted in... courage... let's call it courage. She took out one of Sombra's tinhead crystal ponies with her pike, the weapon quickly glancing off to the side of the Crystal Trooper's armour. Rose and the crystal trooper engaged each other valiantly, getting into a slap-fight that would be the stuff of legends for centuries to come!

Oh where had it all gone wrong? Was it due to the United Federation of Planet's sudden and mysterious disappearance? Was it due to Shining Armour's choice of wardrobe on his wedding day? Perhaps it was caused the Elements of Harmony suddenly transforming into a useless rainbow laser pointer?

No... it was caused by Princess Cadance's lack of a handy husband to chuck her in the general direction of the Crystal Heart.

Eventually the crystal pony rolled over on his back, still encased in his solid steel armour, most likely unable to move. Roseluck had seen better days and had been mercilessly bruised and battered from their slap fight. She looked to the heavens, hoping, praying that Equestria's rescue may come again from the stars.

That's when it happened.

Hundreds of triangular ships suddenly jumped into the atmosphere of Equestria. Troopers, both Crystal and Royal, gazed at the sky in bewilderment. Roseluck knew better than to marvel, already having experience with futuristic humans popping out of the sky. So she just gazed up at the sky with drool streaming out of her wide open jaws. She was not marvelling, of course.

Some of the big ships flew in closer to the surface, dropping huge walking... ponies. With googly eyes. A strange marshal beat resounded through the battlefield.

DUN DUN DUN DAN DUN DUN DAN DUN DUN!

"Do not worry naïve little equines!" a boastful voice boomed from loudspeakers on the giant walking googly-eyed ponies, "The First Order has come to your rescue!"

Hundreds of smaller little cart-thingies poured out from the giant walker thingies and charged towards the enemy lines. Hundreds more humans in white armour poured out from the cart-thingies and pulled out guns that reminded Roseluck of the Federation's phasers. Only shinier!

Her instincts suddenly urged her to duck, and just in time too! The stormtroopers opened fire on the Crystal Troopers, wreaking devastation upon Sombra's lines. Each and every laser bolt seemed to have somehow missed everyone in her battalion that she considered to be good ponies, the bad ones however seemingly got massacred by the First Order's lasers. By the time the gun fire subsided, the entirety of Sombra's forces had been demolished.

Chills ran down Rose's spine as she felt the dark magicks of King Sombra as he advanced from his position from way back in the battlefield. The stormtroopers raised their weapons and fired on the black mass that was the King of Crystallllssss. She watched in shock as every single shot missed the King. Black crystals rained from the sky and shot up from the ground, killing most of the white-armoured men in one barrage.

Just when all hope was about to be given up, a large shuttle flew out of nowhere and landed right in front of Sombra's form. A shadowy figure wearing an even more shadowy cape walked slowly out from the shuttle, pulling out a long bright red sword made of... Roseluck narrowed her eyes. Was that... self-levitating raspberry juice? Sombra just looked at the figure in bewilderment. In an instant, the figure held out a hand and Sombra fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

A meek yellow pegasus that Rose knew by the name of Fluttershy gasped and ran over to the scene of the epic showdown. The stormtroopers that remained from Sombra's counterattack seemed to notice Fluttershy's approach, all aiming their blasters in the pegasus's direction and pulling their triggers.

Roseluck dodged, weaved, and ducked as each and every laser missed Fluttershy by... well... they missed her by inches but missed her all the same! Rose peeked over the rock she had taken cover behind. The lightsaber-bearing figure now stood over Sombra, completely ignoring the ruckus behind him.

His raspberry-juice sword hovered ominously above Sombra's exposed neck.
"This day you die!" he said, preparing to plunge the sabre into the King's neck.

He then felt a soft hoof on his back. He wheeled around on whowever dared interrupt him, and his masked eyes met the eyes of the cutest little pony he had ever seen in his life.

"Y-you sound pretty angry, Sir," Fluttershy said softly, "What's your name?"

"K-Kylo Wren," stuttering a bit at the nerve this pony had, "and I've always been angry, and have never been weak since!" he roared coldly.

"O-o-oh, that sounds bad," she answered, backing up a bit at Kylo's volume. "Do you want to talk about it?" she beamed up at him, her eyes going real big and puppy-dog like.

One hour later...

Roseluck sighed contentedly as she did up the padlock on Sombra's magic-proof cell. A mixture of First Order Stormtroopers and Equestrian Royal Guards hauled him off. The troopers didn't seem to be the type of humans who would just do something like that, but without their leader being present to give orders they did whatever they could do. Speaking of which, where was Kylo Wren? Rose hadn't seen him until he had entered his shuttle to "talk it out" with Fluttershy.

Roseluck trotted through the Equestrian camp and towards the weird shuttle. She heard bawling from inside growing louder as she approached. Two stormtroopers blocked the way into the shuttle. If they were good at anything it was standing in front of doors for hours on end. Rose turned around and simply walked up the ramp behind them, with the troopers not noticing a thing. What she found would astonish her forever.

The figure was unmasked, and his lightsaber had long since clattered and rolled across the floor to come to a rest on the far side of shuttle. Fluttershy sat next to him, listening to his woes intently, a hoof softly on his hand. Kylo was bawling his eyes out and speaking in the hitched tone of someone who was confessing each and every one of his sins out loud.

"A-and then *sniff* he just tried to kill me! *Sniff, sniff* Just because of a st-stupid *crying* prophecy-y-y!" the previously intimidating human doubled over with tears and Fluttershy passed him another tissue to blow his nose with.

Rose slowly backed away from the scene before her, before running off back to her tent to wash her eyes out.

Two days later...

"So, you're all leaving now?" Flutters asked Kylo softly, watching him as he packed up his spare lightsaber batteries into a carry-all.

"Yes, we are. Don't worry, you're new First Order governor will be coming soon to lord over all of Equestria's affairs in no time!" Kylo said with a grin, his mask being off in the presence of his new best friend.

"O-oh, so Equestria belongs to the First Order now?" Fluttershy asked, her head cocking to the side a little.

"Yes, yes," he peered at the butter-yellow pegasus, before grinning. "Its the only fair payback for defending you from your fate underneath your enemy's hoof! Don't worry, I'm sure your people won't suffer... too much..."

A pause hung in the air, before Fluttershy broke it.
"There is just one small thing I would like to ask of you," Flutters asked meekly.

Kylo sighed, honestly getting a bit tired of the yellow pony. Oh well, the counselling she gave him was quite cathartic.
"Yes, what is it?"

"As a trained counsellor, I only want to bill you for my... meagre services," she said, lifting a softly glowing cheque out of her bag.

"Heh, of course!' he said, picking up the paper, doubting that it could be anything that him or the First Order couldn't pay for. His eyes popped open at what he saw.

A bill for the counselling services of a: Kylo Wren

Payment being due to a Fluttershy Flutters

Payment Due: The First Order, all of its tributaries, protectorates, assets, and treasury.

Payment Effective: Immediately.

Please note that this bill is protected by a Class-22 sealing spell. Upon agreement to the provision of services by the pony whose payment is awaiting to be received this spell will be activated. Attempting to harm the biller or the bill itself or breakage of the contract within will result in the immediate painful death of the person(s) in question.

He looked back up at Fluttershy and fear ran through him as he saw the look on the previously cute pony. She grinned evilly up at him in a way that made even his blackened, corrupted heart quiver in fear. He immediately grabbed a pen and signed the cheque.

"Nice doing business with you," Fluttershy said, turning and walking back out to greet her new subordinates.

Two weeks later...

Roseluck marched happily down the streets of Canterlot as hundreds and thousands of ponies cheered and waved at the First Order of Kindness's new leader. Empress Fluttershy smiled and waved back as a mixture of the Royal Guards and the Stormtroopers paraded her towards her new personal Friendship Star

From then on, wielders of both sides of the Force would bow and scrape before Empress Fluttershy and her descendants. In the terms of the Resistance, they met Fluttershy with open arms. All across the galaxy, peace, prosperity, and kindness reigned under the rule of Fluttershy and her chief advisors. Advisors by the names of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Princess Twilight Sparkle, High Admiral Rarity, Morale Director Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash the Awesome, Applejack, and Consort Discord.

Oh... and don't forget the new court-jester, Kylo Wren.

Author's Note

In the end, I'm more of a Trek fan than a Star Wars fan. I think I got everything right...

If you spot any inconsistencies, blame Jason.

If you get that joke, I will give you a cookie.

Also, I was thinking of maybe making another fully-developed sequel to this about Fluttershy's rule over the galaxy.

...maybe...