“Who am I? What am I meant to be? What kind of parent will I be and how will I make it in my family?”
I watched her from just around the corner, outside our room. She was looking in the mirror and having a slight existential crisis, I thought she was just wondering how she’ll manage our future, but I’m not going to complain, I’m just going to be there for the mare I love while I can. I walked around the corner and into her view, I watched her eyes dart to me and then back to herself.
“There’s the stallion that did this to me,” she said and stuck her tongue out at me. I nuzzled her flank and bit at the blanket she’d had draped over her back and nearly got bucked in the chest. “Don’t! I’m too fat,” she pouted at herself in the mirror and closed her mouth, puffed her cheeks, and exhaled with a pout.
“Dear, you’re the most beautiful mare in the world and I’m the most lucky stallion on the planet for having you chosen me.”
She turned with a frown and shoved me so hard I stumbled back. “You don’t need to speak in such a poor manner,” she scolded me, “you know present tense and past tense can’t be interchanged and,” she sniffled and her eyes watered, “and you’re just teasing me!”
I lunged forward and hugged her in my forelegs, even when she pushed against me. She wept quietly and hugged me back; whispering how I was sired by a donkey. “Honey Bee, you’re the sweetest, smartest mare I know, okay? I was just… I wan’t trying to tease you and I’m going to spend a weekend in Tartarus to make up for it, okay?”
She nodded and sniffled. “You should, jerk.” I chuckled and pet her mane. “I’m sorry, it’s the twins, they’re just doing a lot to me now, and I can’t imagine what it’ll be like in four months when they’re born,” she leaned back and looked at me, it took me less time than a blink to use my hoof to wipe her cheeks from the tears.
“You’re gonna be the best mom, Honey. And twins,” I grinned and looked into her eyes, “it’s so rare, so awesome,” I said aloud to the ceiling getting a giggle in reply, “we’re totally gonna get in the papers, maybe front page. Then we’ll get some bits from across Equestria because we’re such awesome parents.
“Then you’ll get a job modeling that rockin’ flank,” I touched my nose her hers and she giggled, a blush crossing her cheeks and overtaking the tear stains. “Imagine seeing yourself on billboards on the way to Baltimare,” I waved my forehoof across our bedroom to add to the imagery, “Honey Bee, that’s you, with make up and a dress,” I looked at her and she looked aside to me, “maybe socks that go to your thighs?”
She gasped and gave me a bump with her shoulder. “Only for you, naughty stallion,” she waved her free forehoof at me and I returned to looking at the imaginary road.
“And there, ahead, what is that? Oh my, it’s my beautiful mare standing beside Princess Twilight,” she gasped and leaned closer to the bed, getting into the dream, “and she’s giving our twins books! Not just any books, but princess books. Books that she’s read and chosen just for them, and Starlight Glimmer? What’s she doing there?”
“What? What’s she doing?” Honey looked at me and back to the wall over the bed. I honestly felt like I was making a movie; if only I was a unicorn that knew illusion magic.
“She’s wearing a mask, but it’s not hiding who she really is. She’s casting a spell and only you can see her from the angle she’s at!”
“What do I do?! Don’t stop there, what happens?”
I spoke louder and with dramatic aplumb! -if that’s a word that fits- “You gallop over and turn on your hooves, buck at the magic as it reaches toward our little foals and you bounce it back to her; turning her into a rock!”
“Yippee,” she shouted and hopped into the air, landing with a stumble that I helped her stabilize. “That’s awesome! If anypony tried to hurt our foals I’d do more than buck a spell back,” she grinned and stomped her hindleg.
“If anypony tried to hurt you then I’d jump in front of a crossbow bolt to save you all.”
She whimpered, happily, and nuzzled me. “You’re such a great father.”
“You’re such a great mother, can I take that blanket off? I’d really like to see you the way I fell in love with you.”
She shook her hips and the blanket slid off her blue fur and fell to the ground. Her belly bulged from her sides enough to be noticeable that she was pregnant; Celestia save anypony who mentioned it out of the blue; she wasn’t exactly the most caring mare when pregnant. There was this one pony that made that mistake.
We were on a trip from our town outside Batimare to Las Pegasus to visit her parents and the train took forever, especially when she was ten months pregnant and had to pee constantly. We had to hoof over an extra dozen bits we really could barely afford to get a private room in a car that had a toilet just for that reason.
We stopped by a town called Ponyville on the third day of the train ride and had to stay overnight because she needed a stable bed and room to walk around. We managed to keep a good deal on the train tickets because pregnant mares have some preferential treatment when it comes to long trips.
Anyway, we walked from the train to the inn and after we’re checked in and wash up we step out into the town. A beautiful warm early spring morning, ruined by a pink mare that jumped out of a bush and the first thing she does, after we both fall over screaming, is points at Honey’s belly and makes a comment about ‘loving cake too much’.
Honey was in every right to chase that pink menace around the street while dodging other ponies and apologies from that mare.
It turned out that Pinkie Pie was a member of Princess Twilight’s inner circle and we got to meet the Princess of Friendship when she pulled my wife’s forehoof off the pink mare’s throat. In both our defense, the pink mare looked a little better with her head beet red, and I feel it was a good thing she got a nap since she was a bit too hyper at the time.
Anyway, we were shown the castle of friendship; what an eyesore, by the way. Rustic village in an idyllic setting. Hills, birds, nature to the left, jagged crystal tree that doesn’t belong anywhere outside the crystal empire to the right. Talk about empty and creepy, the whole place was unfurnished and cold. Every hoofstep echoed for seconds, it was always light because the rooms were made from crystal and carried the light from anywhere else into the other rooms, and when we were halfway done, Pinkie stumbled out of a closet wearing a neck brace, casts on two of her legs, part of her tail was in a splint, and she was wearing a hat that said something like ‘#1 recuvery Patent’.
Misspellings and all.
Both my wife and I were as pleasant as we could be, the rainbow maned mare kept Pinkie away from us, and we were treated nicely by the whole town after that for the rest of the day, that night we got to our room and there was a small box of cupcakes we ate because they were super delicious and helped us go to sleep with contented sighs.
That was the worst part of the whole pregnancy, because Honey went into labor when we got to Las Pegasus. Twins, boys, both earth ponies like their parents, and we had never been happier!
Until the return trip took us past Ponyville again and Pinkie Pie was waiting at the platform, like she knew we’d be there. We weren’t sure what to expect, but we stayed between her and our foals when she got on the train. Then she bowed low and begged for us to forgive her, which we did because it was super embarrassing.
We were showered with confetti and streamers, then she left promising a surprise when we got home.
I’m still waiting, but that was weeks ago and what could she possibly do this long after?
