"And there goes another one!" Jon thought as he lowered his hand in defeat. If living in the New York had taught him anything it was that hailing a cab is all but impossible. But this didn't stop him for very long and in no short amount of time he was already at it again. He needed to get home right away.
The day started off like any other for him, normal and predictable. But like most days as of late it wouldn't stay that way for very long. Ever since he took on the challenge of interviewing guests from Equestria he noticed that as the day went on it gradually transitioned from routine to blissful-abnormality.
However this time around the break in his usual schedule came in the form of a phone call from a very beloved and important person in his life...his mother. She called Jon at first to congratulate him once more on his recent success (At this point The Daily Show was still number one in the ratings) but then wanted to see if he was free for dinner that night.
Due to his busy schedule, which was now busier than ever, he rarely got the chance to see her, so he agreed. That night Jon and his mother, Marian Leibowitz, sat down at a local restaurant to catch up on things. Jon didn't want to talk about work but she couldn't help but congratulate her son one last time on recent events.
Jon always had the same rule when it came to social gatherings with friends and family. And that rule was: "Never. Talk. Politics." In his experience the mere mention of anything even remotely political could ruin a lovely evening, but unfortunately even with his own mother the topic was unavoidable.
This time around the subject of education came up. More specifically how, in the it's current economic state, the country was beginning to levy cuts to schools, their programs, and teacher's salaries. This line of conversation was not unexpected; Marian herself was a school teacher. She even spoke about some her friends, who were also teachers, and how a few of them lost their jobs due to budget cuts.
This hurt Jon to hear; growing up with a mother who was also a teacher made him a huge proponent of educators and their lifestyles. As a political satirist he knew how education was once again on the chopping block in America but to hear how it was so close to his own mother didn't do much to put him at ease. After their dinner (Which Jon had to admit was very nice despite all things) the two gave each other one last hug and kiss before going their separate ways.
As Jon walked down the semi-crowded street he thought about how much his mom meant to him and how much of an important role she played in his life.
"It was really nice seeing her again." He thought to himself, as he crossed the street. He continued to think about about how much she's done for him and how much he wished he could help both her and those like her. The last time he did something big for a worthwhile cause was his "Rally to Restore Sanity," and before that it was a fundraiser for kids with autism. And while something like that would help raise awareness he knew exactly what those at Comedy Central would say: "Not in the budget right now."
Jon soon found himself at at busy street corner still lost in thought. He wondered if he could have a segment at some point on his show about education. The problem with that idea was that at the moment education reform wasn't the "hot button" issue like it had been in the past. For the time being everyone was talking about the upcoming election and the Olympics going on in London. Both of which were topics Jon knew he had a responsibility to talk about.
Jon all but gave up on the idea, but just as he waved to random driver who let him cross the road an idea popped into his his head...a simple idea but one that only he had the resources to achieve.
But now here came the hard part.
"TAXI!" He shouted, trying to get the attention of a moving vehicle.
Later that night Jon found himself out of breath as he desperately ran up the stairs of his house to get to his study. When he finally arrived to his desired location he quickly and without thinking dialed the number of the only person who could help him right now. Princess Celestia.
"Greetings Jon." She said, "How can I--"
"A school teacher!" Jon blurted out, as he frantically burrowed through the many stacks of paper on his desk, looking for the list of names. "Wasn't there a school teacher on that list!?"
"Well a fine 'hello' to you too," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Dear Jon is everything alright? You sound as if you are in trouble."
"No, no, no, I'm...I'm fine." He displayed by lowering his rate of speech. "Uh listen...when we talked the other day I remember you mentioned something about someone being a teacher?"
Jon at last found the list of names. His handwriting could be seen all over it; foot notes for future reference. And there, on the last page no less, was a name circled with the phrase: "School teacher," written next to it.
"AH! Yeah right here," Jon said pointing to the paper. "This...Ms. Cheerilee...she's a teacher isn't she?"
"Indeed she is," Celestia answered. "Might I ask why you wish to know?"
"Um, yeah of course," He said gathering his thoughts and catching his breath. "I would like to have her on my show...like tomorrow."
"Oh dear," she said. "And here I thought you've been trying to avoid the last minute requests." Celestia was right. Jon wanted to get out of the habit of asking people the day before if they wanted to appear on his show. He wanted to have a more concrete schedule for days at a time but this was different.
"I know, I know but something...sorta came up." Jon said pausing as he was once again reminded of his mother. "Look Celestia...I don't know if its the same for you guys but over here in the states teachers are constantly undermined by the media and they're plights are never recognized."
"That's so awful to hear," Celestia said with a level of concern only she could express for something that didn't concern her. "But if I may be so bold...what does this have to do with our Ms. Cheerilee?" To Jon it meant everything.
"Look if your education system is anything like ours than this Ms. Cheerilee is probably as ignored and neglected by the community as our teachers." Jon said, who almost ended his last statement with 'my mother.' "So I wish to interview her and in doing so give her the attention I'm sure she deserves."
"Well, while I am glad to hear of your admirable intentions allow me to put your mind at ease," She said in a comforting manner. "Nopony in Ponyville is nothing short of an important asset to the community. Everypony here treats each other with the utmost respect, I can assure you."
"While that may be true for Equestria," Jon replied in a serious tone. "I"m afraid it's an entirely different case here in America. Look...you're probably right, but the thing is...I think people here in our world can really benefit from an interview like this. If your citizens, and by extension this teacher, are as well off as you say they are then I'm sure the public should see what life is like on the other side. Maybe then they can start thinking about...oh I don't know...reform in our world."
Celestia didn't say anything. She was stunned at how this mere mortal could show such compassion for others around him. Here he had the resources to interview any number of mythical creatures to further is own career and yet he uses the opportunity in the hopes of better the lives of others.
"Besides," Jon continued, "I still say this Ms. Cheerilee could stand to have a little more exposure. You may disagree with me but I'm guessing there's a reason her name is located almost at the very end of the list while others get theirs on the front and in bold. This Celestia could not deny.
"Well Jon I must say I am impressed." She said, her respect for him now at an all new high. "You may be from New York but if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were a member of Ponyville." Jon couldn't help but smile.
"Thanks Celestia," Jon said rubbing the back of his head. "Buuut I'm afraid I like having fingers too much." After a short giggle and pause Celestia gave Jon two options on what would happen next.
"So...shall I send a royal letter or would you rather I teleport you to her?" She asked. Jon almost answered the question right away but before he did a thought manifested inside his head. He quickly turned his head to a nearby mirror catching a glimpse of the somewhat elegant suite he wore for the dinner he just had with his mother (Something which she insisted he didn't have to do). It was certainly an acceptable attire one could wear in a variety of public places but he couldn't help but remind himself of his last, unpleasant, visit to Equestria.
"Your not sending me to a farm again, are you?" Jon asked rubbing his stomach, sounding a little on the annoyed side.
"No, I assure this place will be quite more accepting of whatever you decide to wear." She said sounding apologetic. "It'll also be a lot more...let's say hospitable as well."
"Well alright then." Jon said clapping his hands in anticipation. "Beam me down Scottie!"
Jon now more used to this than before stood up and closed his eyes immediately, waiting for the princess to conjure her magic. With a quick burst of light Jon was now in a new location altogether. Usually Jon would have time to slowly open his eyes and, at his own pace, deduce for himself where he was. But the sound of many voices collectively gasping forced him to open his eyes and quickly realize where he was.
It was bright outside so Jon could see clearly without any help. He was in a large room only somewhat bigger than his study, with many more windows. All around him were pictures that looked like they'd been drawn by a child...it looked like that because that was indeed the case. Sitting right In front him were over a dozen pair of eyes, each belonging to a young filly or colt; each wide in astonishment and each of them staring directly at Jon with their mouths agape. Celestia had teleported him in the middle of a classroom.
Jon was used to being in front of crowds; It was his world and it's how he started his career but this was different. Being in front of a group of children was not his usual forte. He was reminded of a story his good friend Zach Galifianakis told him awhile back about how he had do standup for a bunch of children only to run out of material before it was over...Jon now knew the feeling.
The collection of children, Jon noted, varied in appearance from pony to pony. Some were bigger than others while some had vastly different color schemes. He had never seen so many ponies in one spot before. The majority of the students were fillys and all of them were an almost even collection of Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earthpony...one whom Jon actually recognized.
"HEY JOHNNY!" A student sitting up front said, breaking the silence and earning her the attention of the rest of the class. Jon recognized that giant pink bow anywhere. It was Applejack's kid sister; Applebloom.
"Fancy meetin' you here!" She said. "Are ya back again to-"
Before she could finish a voice coming from behind Jon cut her off and immediately got the attention of the class...mostly.
"Excuse me sir but we are in the middle of class time!" The voice said. Whoever it was she sounded much older than the majority of ponies present, and her tone of voice carried with it much authority. Jon turned around to see a purple colored Earthpony glaring at him looking rather perturbed. Her mane was light purple with streaks of pale, light gray rose and her cutie mark depicted three smiling sunflowers.
"Who are you!" The purple pony said. "Or for that matter...what are you?" Before Jon could answer Applebloom sprung from her seat and dashed in front of him, almost as if she was about to take a bullet.
"Wait Ms. Cheerilee!" Applebloom pleaded. "This is Johnny! He's a human! Please don't hurt him, he's real friendly like!" Jon was grateful for young Appleboom vouching of him, though he was pretty sure he wasn't in any real danger. The only thing on his mind was what she had just said. That his Purple Earthpony standing before him was his target. The school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee!
"Wait...'Johnny?'" Cheerilee said with a sudden sense of realization. "And he's human." She was starting to put two and two together and at that moment she recognized his face. She now knew who he was.
"Actually its Jon...Jon Stewart," He said, now spinning back to Applebloom. "Uh listen sweety, I need to have word with your teacher. So why don't you be a good girl and get back to your seat while the adults talk in private."
Usually Applebloom would have objected to being talked down to and insisted she listen in but she was quite fond of Jon so she obeyed and went back to her seat, where she was greeted by her fellow classmates whispering questions at her.
With his identify now cleared up Jon was free to talk with his potential guest. He made his away around her desk where he greeted her with a handshake and kneeled down so she could hear him.
"Hello Ms Cheerilee," Jon said, in a low voice. "Like I said my name is Jon Stewart. I'm the host of 'The Daily Show.' I don't know if you've ever heard of it."
"O-oh well I- That is to say yes...yes I have heard of it." She said still slightly in shock. She wasn't used to a celebrity from another world being present in her classroom. "Some of my best friends are real big fans of yours...but listen I am in the middle of something here so...can I ask what are you doing here?"
"Oh certainly!" Jon said, feeling guilty that he interrupted what appeared to be a lecture. "Well, I'm here because I was wondering if you would be willing to appear on my show?" This sudden news surprised Cheerilee greatly. She was certain that he had appeared in her class completely by accident or that he was lost. The thought hadn't occurred to her that he was scouting for talent, and she definitely didn't think for even a second that he was here for her.
"You want to what!" She exclaimed. Her sudden outburst caused her students to look up at her; she covered her mouth and motioned for them to go back to what they were doing. After lowering her voice she began speaking with Jon again. "I'm sorry but you want me on your show...ME?!"
"Yeah!" Jon said encouragingly, while still as a whisper. "I think it would be a great opportunity if I interviewed someone like you."
"Som-Someone like me?" She pondered out loud. "What do you mean by that? I mean...why me?"
"What I mean is you're a teacher right? So I believe that if someone in your position were to be interviewed on my show it would be a great segment for my viewers. 'Must-see-T.V.' if you will." Jon said doing his best to convince the unsure pony.
"Oooh I...I don't know" Cheerilee said, trying her best to not look rustled. "I mean...wh-when would you even want on your show?"
"Uh...oh about sometime tomorrow." Jon said with a guilty look on his face.
"TOMORROW!?" She shouted, this time permanently gaining the attention of her students. Noticing this she quickly turned to address her class. "Now, now students nothing to worry about. Please continue reading from your books." None of them did.
"I can't just leave my class tomorrow!" She said, whispering so loud the class heard her.
"Can yo-- Is there any chance you can get someone to sub for you?" Jon asked, hoping he wasn't coming off too pushy.
"Well I mean, I suppose I could get twilight to- I mean no!...I...I'm sorry Mr. Stewart but I don't think I can appear on your show." She said shaking her head.
"OK I'm gonna level with you," Jon said seriously. "I feel that if I have influential people on my show real change can be made in my world...and I feel that change can start with us." Cheerilee didn't quite know how to respond.
"But...but then why are you asking me," She said looking confused. "I'm sure you can find somepony more important than me to go on your show...I mean I'm just a teacher."
The phrase "just a teacher" didn't register with Jon's brain. What got to him the most was that it wasn't said by some out of touch politician on capital hill but from an actual teacher. It was that kind of mentality that inspired Jon to ask her in the first place; now more than ever he needed her on his show. Jon had no choice...it was time to play dirty.
"I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do." Jon said with a sigh. Before Cheerilee could respond Jon had already stood up and faced the class. She may have been their teacher and they her students but the ponies present in the class was still an audience. And Jon, being the renowned comedian of many years, knew exactly how to talk to an audience.
"Hey Kids!" Jon said with overacting enthusiasm. "My name is Jon Stewart and I host a show called 'The Daily Show!' Who here knows about that show?" A surprising amount of students raised their hooves.
"Well alright! So kids tell me..." Jon said, sliding to the side and extending his arms out at Cheerilee as if she was a new model car at an auto show. "...who here wants to see their teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, on T.V.!?"
Jon's question was met with every child's eyes as wide as the moon, and their faces glowing with excitement. Her fate was sealed.
Interview: Please welcome to the show Ms. Cheerilee
The Daily Show Interview transcript archive:
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Ms. Cheerilee (Cheerilee)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
With the the last commercial just finishing up the camera made its way down the center of the stage to get a good view of Jon Stewart who could be seen pretending to read from his notes in an overly dedicated manner. As the roar of the crowd continued Jon found himself now looking at the camera making body gestures as if he's not quite sure where he is only to "realize" he's on air and begins to speak.
"Welcome back to the show, my quest tonight;" Jon said pointing to the camera. "She is a beloved citizen of Ponyville and a teacher at Ponyville Elementary School. Please welcome to the show, Ms. Cheerilee!
As the crowd cheers for their guest to reveal herself the camera switches positions to view the backstage at an angle in anticipation for the Earthpony's arrival. Finally, after short wait, Ms. Cheerilee emerges from backstage which causes the cheers of the crowd to increase with excitement. Jon, as well at others in attendance, noticed that it took a little bit longer than usual for the guest to emerge from backstage. This was simply because she took an extra few seconds to make sure she looked alright.
Jon lightly jogged over to greet his guest halfway on the stage, where he shook her hoof and guided her back to the desk. Upon their arrival Jon offered her a seat by manually lowering the guest chair so she could easily get one. A gesture which she seemed to be very appreciative of as she jumped on and thanked him with a smile. Jon adjusted her chair up a bit but not before giving her one last shake of the hoof. Jon, now back in his seat, sits and waits for the crowd to stop cheering before beginning the interview. An interview he was really looking forward to.
"Welcome to the show Ms. Cheerilee, it's great to have you here," Jon said extending his arms out.
"Thank you very much for having me...though I didn't have much choice in the matter now did I?" She said with a smile, not showing a hint of animosity or scorn.
"I...I have no idea what you're talking about." He replied, pulling his collar as if to let out some pent up steam.
"I think you do Mr. Stewart." Cheerilee said, giving Jon the same look she'd give a student who was misbehaving. "You basically turned my class against me in order to get to get me on your show."
"I did no such thing!" He said throwing up a lone finger, looking as though he was making a declaration.
"But don't worry Mr. Stewart...I'll remember this the next time your in Ponyville." She said placing a hoof on Jon's hand. Her 'threat' was made all the more unnerving by her giving him a friendly wink and smile.
"...SO! Your a teacher!" Jon said, in a comically transparent attempt to change the subject. Both Cheerilee and the audience laughed as Jon slowly took back his hand from the clutches of his guest. Before She could answer Jon spoke again.
"Oh and sorry again for interrupting your class." Jon continued now looking at the audience. "Oh yeah, for those those at home who don't know I sort of got teleported in the middle of her class while she was teaching some kids or whatever-- eh it's no big deal."
"It's quite alright Mr. Stewart." Cheerilee said. "I must admit you made quite an impression on my class. They, like most ponies in Equestria, have never seen a human before. So to see you appear out of no where and sweep me away really got their imaginations going."
"You know I've been wondering something." Jon interjected. "You uh-- you yourself say most people in Equestria have never seen a human before...but for one to appear in your classroom like I did...I'm amazed you kept your composure the way you did."
"Well I didn't think--" Cheerilee said before getting interupted.
"I mean you didn't even call the Pony Police on me or anythying," Jon said.
"Well Jon," She said clearing her throat. "The reason why I didn't panic is because...well as you know I am a teacher; my students look up to me and It is my job to always make sure I act appropriately in their presence. If I did panic or get scared at your sudden arrival then I would have run the risk of having my students do the same, and as their teacher I could not allow that. I had to act brave and in charge for them."
"Wow...well I must say that is very chivalrous and responsible of you. Had it been me I probably would have just used one of the kids as a distraction and head for the hills." Jon said sounding uncomfortably genuine to his guest. Cheerilee wasn't by any means a comedian but nevertheless she wanted to see if she could match wits with Jon.
"Besides that...another reason why I didn't panic is because in truth you don't look that dangerous or intimidating," She said, causing the audience to laugh at Jon. "I figured worse case scenario I probably could have handled the situation myself."
"So your saying you could've taken me?" Jon retorted, standing up briefly to display his height. "Because I'm like twice your size...you don't even know what I can do!"
"Well that may be true," Cheerilee responded quickly pointing to Jon's midsection. "But if I recall the last time you had a run in with an Earthpony it didn't turn out so well in your favor." The sound of laughter and eventually cheers prevented Jon from responding right away. He didn't show signs of waver from her last statement but he couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed in himself for walking so easily into it.
"...Touche'," Jon said, lifting his mug to Cheerilee and rubbing his stomach. He took a sip and was about to say something but before he did he turned to camera once more.
"Oh and Applejack if your watching this: Round two is next week!" He yelled while standing up and flexing. "I'll meet you outback in the church parking lot!" Cheerilee wanted to comment on how Jon's goofy disposition proved her point on how he wasn't much of a threat but couldn't as she was too busy laughing at his performance.
"You know...when last I saw you, prior to this interview" Jon continued. "Your students seemed very happy about you going on this show. Tell me are...are any of them watching the program right now?" Cheerilee, still laughing, gave a worried look at the thought.
"Well, I certainly hope not. I mean nothing against your show, its great, but I don't think it's appropriate for younger ponies." She said. "Although I hear some of the adults are letting them watch this segment just this once... so long as you tone down the dirty words." Jon was about to respond by swearing purposely but decided against it.
"I see. So did any of your students do anything special for this occasion before you left?" Jon asked while fiddling with his pen.
"Actually yes they did!" Cheerilee said with a look of delight across her face. "They actually got together this morning in front of the schoolhouse to wish me luck before I left. They even pulled their allowances together to get me this!" Cheerilee reached down and picked up a small camera with her mouth and placed it on the table. Jon wasn't very knowledgeable about photography but even he could see that it wasn't that impressive. It was no where near good enough to be called a "professional camera" but at the same time it wasn't cheap.
"They want me to take pictures while I'm here and show it to them later," She continued, holding the camera in her hooves. "When I get back I'll have the photos developed in the school's basement and present it to them as a lecture on Human life. Which reminds me...smile!" With that she took a picture of Jon, momentarily blinding him with a flash.
"Wow..." Jon said rubbing his eyes. "Leave it to a teacher to take something as simple as a gift from her students and turn it into homework." Cheerilee found Jon's observation to be both humorous and slightly accurate; deciding there to just show it them as in class slideshow for fun.
"Now obviously your students are exited for you to be here tonight...but what about you Ms. Cheerilee?" Jon asked leaning forward. "You-- how are you liking your stay in New York so far?"
"Well all things considered I'd by lying if I said I wasn't excited to be here today," Cheerilee said with a giggle. "I don't leave Ponyville much because of my responsibilities to my students. Plus I love going to new places and learning new things. I must admit I never thought I'd get the chance to visit another world. And of course my students really wanted me to go so I didn't want to disappoint them...though a part of me feels they only wanted me to go cause they now get a substitute teacher."
"That's right you had someone fill in for you while you were away," Jon interjeted. "If I recall you...you had gotten Twilight Sparkle to fill in for you."
"That is correct Jon. She once told that if I ever needed her to she would gladly watch the class for me." She replied. "Shes probably the smartest pony we have in Ponyville so I'm sure she'll do a good job...though I am a little worried. My students can be a real handful sometimes."
"Aaah I get ya," Jon responded, nodding his head. "I remember when I was in their age me and my friends were always pulling pranks on our homeroom teacher. I'm guessing it's the same to you?"
"Well, I guess you can say that," Cheerilee said. "There have been the occasional prank or two."
"Like what?" Jon asked, wondering if pony pranks were anything like human ones. "Giv-give us an example."
"Well...there was this one time where the kids switched my sugar with salt an-- oh wait no, that Pinkie Pie..." She said rubbing her head. "Oh no wait I remember one: This one time somepony switched the signs on the "Filly" and "Colt" bathroom doors and I- oh wait that was also Pinkie Pie. Ok well uh, just the other day the town's drinking water...no that, that was Pinkie Pie too. Lets see, that was Pinkie Pie...that was Pinkie Pie...that was also Pinkie Pie..."
Jon watched as Cheerilee tried and failed to remember a single Prank that was pulled on her that didn't involve Pinkie Pie. It was a lot harder than she thought.
"Sorry Mr. Stewart," She said looking defeated. "It's hard thinking of a Prank that was pulled around town without thinking of her...she sorta does most of them."
"Ya don't saaaay?" Jon exclaimed giving her a look.
"OH! I just thought of one!" Cheerilee said. "And this one doesn't involve Pinkie Pie!"
"OK!" Jon said pretending to stretch. "Lay it on me!"
"Well I'm not sure if this counts as a prank but this one time During Hearts and Hooves day some of my students went and created a love potion," She said gaining the attention of everyone listening. "And while their hearts were in the right place they used it on me to try and get me a date. Turns out it was actually a love poison, and as a result me and a stallion by the name of Big Macintosh ended up falling in love with each other against our will." Jon was at a lost of words while the audience just laughed at the now blushing Earthpony.
"Why...I mean, whatever happened to simply putting a frog in the teachers top drawer?" Jon said in comical frustration. "Nowadays the kids have to invent new ways to alter with a teachers sense of reality."
"Oh it wasn't so bad," She insisted. "In the end they broke the spell and I forgave them."
"There are...so many questions I could ask about-- I mean for starters who gave them the idea to make that?" Jon asked.
"They actually got the idea from an old fairy tale book." She answered.
"Lesson learned! Kids! Don't read books!" Jon said whipping his hands. He waited for his guest to stop laughing before continuing. "Ok, so wh-where did they these kids get that book?"
"Oh well they got it from...Twilight Sparkle." Cheerilee said, raising her head in realization.
"Twilight Sparkle?" Jon asked. "You meeeean the same Twilight Sparkle...who is currently watching over your class?"
"Oh dear." She said, rubbing the back of her head. "I may not have thought that one all the way through."
"Ahem! Well I hope you have tenure." Jon said shuffling through his notes. "Also before we move one...you dated Big Macintosh?"
"I suppose I did," Cheerilee answered, still blushing. "He even had some corny pet names for me. At one point we even talked about getting married" Jon could almost count the seconds exactly for the audience to respond with an "Aaaawww."
"Wait, wait, wait...are you telling me that Big Macintosh actually said more than two words to you that wasn't 'nope' or 'yep?'" Jon asked, getting a nod in return. "Wow...he really must have been in love you."
Everyone in attendance understood the reference, and all shared a good bout of laughter as a result.
Jon always tried to avoid asking the most obvious questions, at least till the end, but this was one he couldn't avoid for much longer.
"So, Ms. Cheerilee, when did you first discover you wanted to be a teacher?" Jon asked, genuinely curious. The question caused her to tilt her head upwards as if to reminisce.
"Oh many years ago, Mr Stewart. I first discovered my love of teaching when I was younger, around the age of my students. And then one day I woke up and discovered this cutie mark," She said lifting her flank slightly so the people could get a view. "It represents the joy I feel whenever I cause somepony to bloom with knowledge! And ever since that day I knew I was meant to be a teacher!"
Her answer though very touching left Jon and subsequently almost everyone watching the program in a state of confusion. He took his pen out of his mouth and began tapping it against his desk, lost in thought.
"I'm sorry but...uh, 'cutie marks?'" Jon asked, looking around as if the answer was lying on the ground somewhere.
"That's right...Oh my," Cheerilee responded, noticing how lost he looked. "You don't know about cutie marks?"
"No. Can't say I do, talking purple pony from another world." Jon said, reminded her of the situation. With a quick laugh and a gleam in her eyes Cheerilee turned slightly to the audience and responded as if she was teaching a classroom.
"Well then allow me to tell you! You see back back in my world we ponies have a thing called 'cutie marks,'" She said once again raising her flank. "Now, as you can see a cutie mark is a symbol located on a ponies flank. It's a visual representation of a pony's special talent and in most cases what their profession is. Most ponies get them at a very young age once they themselves discover what it is that makes them unique. Everypony get's one eventually, its our right of passage as we grow up."
Jon found this to be interesting and at the same time hard to believe. Before asking his next question he tried to recall the cutie marks of his all the ponies he'd met at that point, though Applejack's was the only one we could remember for obvious reasons. He had certainly noticed that they had them but up until now he just assumed they were some sort of trendy fashion statement.
"So you're telling me that all ponies...eventually get this 'cutie mark' on their upper hips and it supposed to represent their career path?" Jon asked, raising one eyebrow.
"That's one way of putting it, yes!" Cheerilee stated, feeling happy she got to teach him something. "You humans don't have anything like that here in your world?"
"Not really," Jon said, sitting up in his seat. "The only thing even remotely resembling that here are things called 'tramp stamps' that some women get, and trust me when I say you don't wanna know what their special talent is." The crowd laughed at Jon's joke but Cheerilee was still focused on Jon, as this was her first time learning about human culture.
"I see. Well if you humans don't get cutie marks how do you know what your special talents are?" She asked. The question posed to Jon wasn't as easy to answer as he thought."
"Well..." he said, thinking carefully about the question. "To put it simply some of us just know. Others unfortunately go through most of their lives unsure of what their meant to do."
"That's sounds awful." She said.
"Yeah but in most cases, myself included, they have a dedicated role model to help guide them along the path of uncertainty," Jon said, sincerely. "You know, someone like you." His left field compliment caused Cheerilee to blush somewhat.
"Why thank you, Mr. Stewart!" She said. "So tell me, what's your special talent?" He didn't even have to think of how to respond to that.
"Being Jewish." He answered strait faced. Again her love of learning new things distracted Cheerilee from the sound of immense laughter coming from the audience.
"Very interesting. And when did you first discover your talent for being Jewish?" She asked.
"Well according to my mom i-it right around my circumcisions." He responded.
"And what exactly is a 'circumcision?'" Cheerilee asked rubbing her hoof against her chin.
"Well its a Jewish right of passage, much like you getting your cutie mark," Jon answered, determined to ride this joke straight to hell. "Only instead of gaining an ass tattoo I lost my forsk-- BUT that's neither here or there."
Jon now felt that needed to ask some serious questions while he could before her time on air ran out.
"So riddle me this, Ms. Cheerilee. You say that most ponies get their cutie mark when their around the age of of your students." He said. "So do you ever get a student or two who, for lack of a better term, 'freak out' over not getting the-- their cutie mark?" It was a perfectly valid question but nevertheless it caused Cheerilee to almost fall out of her chair laughing.
"Oh...oh Mr. Stewart!" She said, holding her sides. "Y-y-you have NO idea!" Jon had no way of knowing it at the time but somewhere in Ponyville at that very moment a certain young earthpony, and her two friends, were getting lovingly hazed.
In the interest of time Jon decided not to venture further into the subject even thought he very much wanted to.
"So tell me Ms. Cheerilee," Jon said scooting himself closer to his guest. "Well first let me start by saying that here in our country we're going through something of a debt crisis; unfortunately certain sectors of civil jobs have been cut financially as a result."
"Oh dear! Well that does sound serious." She said, holding a hoof to her mouth.
"Indeed it is," Jon responded. "Which is why I'm wondering, when was the last time budget cuts were levied at your level of teaching?" The question seemed to confused her.
"Budget cuts?" She said, looking as if Jon was speaking in foreign tongue. "You mean when funding is taken away from the school?"
"Yes exactly," Jon answered. "When was the last time it happened to you-- oh and how did you handle it." Cheerilee still looked confused, so she responded delicately as if saying the wrong thing could get her catapulted from her seat at any moment.
"Well Mr. Stewart..." She said. "I'm fortunate enough never have experience such a thing. The truth of the matter is in Equestria we don't take funding away from education...ever." The answer got Jon's immediate attention as well at the attention from millions around the world.
"Excuse me?" Jon said in shock. "Ever?"
"That's right," Cheerilee said surprised by Jon's being surprised. "Why in the name of Celestia would anypony cut funding to education? It's an institute designed to nurture and advance the minds of our children, that kind of service should be cherished above all things."
Her logic made a lot of sense to Jon yet at the same time he couldn't help but think of how impossible it seemed.
"If-- I mean if there's never any cuts to education then one can assume you are pretty well off," Jon said hoping not to offend. "Do you ever...think about retiring?"
"Well it's funny you should mention that," Cheerilee said. "I can actually retire right now if I wanted to. I come from somewhat wealthy family who guarantees that I could retire and go live with them."
"Then why don't you?" Jon asked almost knowing exactly what her answer would be.
"Well because Mr. Stewart," She said, pausing to gather her thoughts. "I love my job. I love the look on a child's face when they learn something new, I love telling parents that their child is doing well in my class, I love seeing students leave the classroom with more knowledge than when they entered, but most of all I love the feeling of knowing I'm helping mold the minds of future generations."
Jon didn't say a word. He just sat there and marveled at how much this stranger reminded him so much of his own mother.
"I mean, all this talk about education being cut and why teach in the in the first place just seems crazy to me," She continued with much fire in her heart. "If we don't care about the future of our children then they won't care enough to lead it."
There was a slight pause before the audience slowly then quickly began to applaud the Earthpony.
"You know what," Jon responded, nodding and giving a slow clap. "I couldn't agree more. But listen I'm sure you're more used to saying this than hearing it but would you mind staying after class for a few minutes to talk and we'll throw the rest up on the web?"
"Sure thing Mr. Stewart!" She said with a big smile. "Only if you agree to get a picture of me with your audience!"
"Done!" He said turning to the audience who was already cheering at the top of their lungs. "Ms. Cheerilee everyone! We'll be right back!"
The audience begins to stand and applaud as the camera shows Jon whispering something into Ms. Cheerilee's ear. The camera slowly paned away at a slightly different angle to see Cheerilee get up from her seat and pose in front of the audience as Jon snaps a quick picture. Soon the show fades into its next commercial.
