Stick it to the Sisters!

by Ryza

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Doctor Who, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, Princess Cadance
Length: 1385

A conversion Bureau Story where the potion is not drunk

What happens if you don't drink the potion?
I didn't know for certain, but they said I would die.
Bottoms up!

Published 2018-10-24 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-24 02:00:01 UTC

Bottoms still up?

The first drop of the liquid hit the floor (instead of the mouth it was intended for) and there was a blinding light and I was. . . I don't know where I am. But once my sight cleared up, I could make out two thrones and gothic arched windows forming the edges of the hallway.

'Was I in the. . ?' I thought to myself before being interrupted.

"Greetings. . ." The white pony who sat on the right side said.

"Ryza m'lafy."

"Greetings Ryza. You may be wondering where you are and who we are. This is the throne room of the royal castle in canterlot. This here is my sister Luna, Princess of the Night. To her left is Cadence, Princess of Love. To my left is the Princess of Friendship, Twilight. And I am Celestia, princess of the sun."

"So. . . you rule by mutual agreement not to take the throne from the others and ascend and operate as a sort of Quadarchy?"

The one called Twilight spoke up. "Essentially, yes. However. . . "

She was cut off by a hoof from Celestia. "Ahem, back to the topic at hand."

"Yah, why was I brought here? I wanted to die." I retorted.

"But do you really? And why die when you could keep living?"

"No, I don't really want to die, few do. But I will die for what I see as right. Because that's the one thing from the books I can do. There may be no gods or devils, no angels or demons, there may be no one who can save the day with a time machine or super powers. But what people do for a cause when they believe in it is fight to the last, and die. And since I'm not much of a fighter period, I'm just going to die."

"And what is your cause?" She inquired quietly.

"That when a system is flawed, no matter how big or small, one does not abolish it, one instead works within it. I once thought like you once, heck, I still do. Some days I look at the world and I hate mankind for its works, for its desecration of this sacred jewel. And I just want them to burn!" I was shouting now and my hands were shaking. "But you know what? I found purpose, I found faith, I put my dreams to rest. And so should you." I ended somewhat quietly.

The one named Luna who sat to her left, finally spoke. "And by what power shall you enforce this decree?"

"I already told you, none but that of those who stand against something, uncertain whether others will follow or not."

"So, if you died, would you be happy?" She continued to inquire

"To keep things short, yes."

"Then your judgment shall come swiftly. For my own last words to you, I admire your bravely. Anyone have anything else to say?" Celestia said, taking back the reins of the conversation.

The one on the far left, whose name I had forgotten by now stepped forward and hugged me with both forelegs and her wings. "Just know that you are loved." She whispered in my ear.

"May you find peace wandering the stars." Luna said. Go figure, of course she'd say that, being princess of the night and having the hair of stars.

"And may your afterlife be filled with beautiful days." Celestia told me, much to my sarcastic surprise.

Cadence, Luna, and Celestia had said there statements so matter of factly, it was probably their customary reaponses. So Twilight’s probably won't be different or have any real meaningful.’ I glumly thoguht to myself. Oh boy, looking back, I was got a real surprise.

And so it was Twilight’s turn. She stepped forward, looking between me and the other Princesses. Looking one last time at me, who had started to cry, I mean, how could I not? I was about to die! What was I thinking? But despite all these thoughts, I kept calm and silent. I didn't see, but I heard her hooves on the stone floor as she turned back to the three other rulers. "No, this can't be right!" She shouted at them. "They were all supposed to drink!"

A wry smile crossed my face as I chuckled. "What, are you saying you tried to transform one race into another upon pain of death without understanding said race in the first place?!" Thoughts of my own death vanished as I began to roll on the floor laughing.

"Well, yah, any reasonable pony would taken the potion to save their life."

"That's even more hilarious!"

She looked at me quizzically.

"You. . . do you know why we have the problems we do? It's because of that!" i shouted at her, laughing like a maniac. "We kill each other, we destroy entire nations out of our greed and hate, and the oldest form of greed which we humans possess is the greed of life and oldest thing which we hate is death."

"You're not making any sense." Twilight replied.

I calmed myself down enough to stop laughing. "Ok, let me put it this way: People looking out only for themselves causes greed, greed in turn causes suffering for all. Your option requires people looking out for themselves. That means our problems will become yours, and nothing will be solved."

THey looked at me in schock, as though they hadn't even considered the possibility.

Capitalizes on their shock, I added on a question to my statement.
"So when you do have problems, like wars and things, how do you not end up like humans"

They looked at Twilight as though she might have the answer. Nervously looking at them before looking back at me. "Well, In my time, friendship, luck, sacrifice, and once with time travel."

"So why not offer those? Why the ultimatum?"

"We. . . might have gotten a bit drunk." She looked away, her cheeks going red.

"Really now?" I said, a smug smile upon my face. Great, so my choice was initiated in response to drinking, essentially and simply.

"Yah, it was my first time getting drunk since my power boost so i accidentally bumped us over into an alternate reality where the shield we immediately raised in response started to chew apart your planet as ours moved to replace it and that's how we came up with the solution of transformation! So . . . " she trailed off

"So you basically got drunk, took over the ship so that it collided with another ship, and in a series of events that some perspective might find hilarious, you've been constantly trying to fix the mess you caused!"

"We're really, really sorry."

"You know what, fuck it, I'm taking control!" I shouted

"WHAT?!" Was the collective gasp I heard from them though I wasn't listening anymore.

"You obviously don't want anyone to die, and were only prepared to do to follow up on your threat, so unless you want people to start dying, you will agree to my conditions."

Celestia, apparently the most experienced of the four, was the first to gather herself enough for a response. "And what are your. . . conditions?" She asked, cautiously.

Hmmf, i smiled to myself, she had the right to be cautious. "Ok, here goes. Get the one that can travel in time and undo this so none of it ever happened."

Twilight looked flabbergasted. "Nopony could do that! Not even the great Starswirl could perform time travel on that scale!"

"What about a machine?" I asked. Yes! this was going in the direction I wanted it to.

Celestia and Luna shared skeptical glances. "Perhaps. . ? We could sure, but it would take years to formulate a design."

"What if I have one?" I offered.

"Then show us."

Crap, no TARDIS diagram so an explanation accompanying a picture would have to do. After a brief period of describing essential mechanics, they nodded acquiescence. They looked doubtful, sure, but I had a solution that they hadn't thought of that wouldn't have the possible repercussions of theirs.

Author's Note

There was no plan.
Also, if you have any thoughts on this, ANY at all, please let me know.