Trixie and the Internet

by Victoria

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Trixie, Comedy, Random
Length: 2898

Trixie annoyed the Spirit of Chaos. She really shouldn't have.

Trixie annoyed the Spirit of Chaos. She really shouldn't have.

PS. Thanks Glim Glam for his great editing work, as always.

Published 2018-10-19 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-19 21:20:01 UTC

Trixie's Punishment

Trixie’s Punishment

I picked myself up from the ground and looked around, expecting an attack from some wild monsters at any second. Sure, Trixie had bested Discord at poker with her superior skills, but it hadn’t been her greatest idea to tease him about it. For a whole day no less…

Still, Discord had overreacted a tad by throwing me into an alien dimension to “teach me a lesson”. He had promised to get me back a day later, but even a day in the wilderness was too much for Trixie.

There was a wild forest around me and I had appeared on a small pasture. Trixie refused to spend a whole day here! I used to live in the luxurious conditions of my wagon; surely, it wouldn’t hurt Discord to send it here as well?

“I need my wagon!” I yelled into the closing portal, shimmering above the ground.

I widened my eyes and ducked to the side, barely avoiding being run over by my purple wagon. It gave out a pitiful creak and I cringed – I’d just had it renovated! I immediately jumped back on my hooves and threw a rock into the portal. Hopefully, it would hit Discord in his annoying face.

“The Great and Vengeful Trixie will make you pay for treating my wagon like that!” I squalled, but a distant laughter was my only answer before the portal closed completely.

I walked around my wagon, checking it for possible damage. Thankfully, it was no worse for the wear. I caressed one of its wheels gently.

“Don’t worry, Trixie will take care of you.”

Yes, I talked to my wagon. I loved the guy; we had spent so much time together traveling all over Equestria. He was practically a part of the family Trixie had never had…But Trixie wasn’t dumb, she knew the wagon was not an actual pony – she just liked to think that way sometimes.

It was my second wagon, actually; the first one had been smashed by the evil Ursa Minor…Trixie admitted it without shame – she had cried after her best friend’s horrendous death. Even now, thinking about it made my heart clench.

Wait, what was that? I swiveled my ears to locate the source of the sound I had just heard – somepony was talking! Maybe Discord had played a prank on me and had just sent me to a different part of Equestria, instead of a whole new dimension.

My hopes were vanquished when I saw some weird creatures coming from behind the trees. The creatures walked on their two hindlegs, while swinging their forelegs around, talking with each other.

With a terrified yelp, I ran inside my wagon and locked the door on all latches. Trixie wasn’t scared, of course, but she always took her safety seriously. Those could be some pony-eating monsters for all she knew!

I carefully watched through the open curtains as the monsters approached my wagon. It had obviously piqued their interest, which wasn’t at all surprising – it was Trixie’s amazing wagon after all – but it was awfully inconvenient now. For the first time ever, I regretted making it look so great.

“Trixie’s sorry for thinking that,” I whispered to the wagon.

One of the monsters pointed at the window from where I was watching them; I gasped, shutting the curtains immediately, leaving only a small hole to see their actions.

“Hello? Is anybody here?” a lovely mare’s voice sounded from the mouth of the monster with a long mane.

That wasn’t a voice I expected a pony-eating monster to have. Now that I thought of it, those creatures looked pretty civilized for the pony-eating monsters I had thought them to be. They wore some pretty clothes, for one, and Trixie knew all the fancy ponies wore clothes.

And they even spoke Ponish by the sound of it!

“Trixie is inside,” I said and frowned; my voice sounded too meek to make a good first impression. I coughed and made a second attempt. “I mean, the Great and Powerful Trixie greets you, strangers!”

The creatures exchanged some surprised glances and I noted their faces looked pretty expressive, even though they obviously weren’t ponies.

“Is this your…wagon?” a stallion’s voice from the second creature asked.

“It is,” I said with well-founded pride. “Do you like it?”

“It looks exotic, that’s for sure.”

I frowned, confused at the creature’s answer. Did he like it or not? Before I could ask for some clarification, the mare’s voice asked, “It’s a weird place to set up camp, this deep in the forest. Are you making a movie here or something?”

“A movie?” I repeated the question.

“Yeah. This wagon is a prop for some fantasy film, right?”

“Trixie lives here, she doesn’t make any movies,” I stated firmly to avoid any misunderstanding. “However, Trixie performs some marvelous magical feats, which are much more interesting than any movie.”

The owner of the mare’s voice seemed to notice me peeking and waved her limb at me. “Why don’t you come out, so we can talk properly?”

“Okay,” I said.

I unlocked the door and trotted outside, stopping before the two creatures. They gaped at me, clearly impressed with the beauty that is Trixie. I waited for a few seconds and the silence became a little uncomfortable.

Thankfully, the girl – I suppose I shouldn’t call her a mare since she wasn’t a pony – broke the silence first.

“Wow, what is that thing?” she asked, looking at my wagon like she was expecting it to answer.

Didn’t I explain it just a minute ago? “It’s Trixie’s home,” I repeated, flicking my tail in annoyance.

The girl snapped her stare back at me in shock. Her friend had the same reaction at my revelation. Sure, it wasn’t exactly common for ponies to live in a wagon, but it wasn’t unheard of…

“Y-you can talk?!” they both exclaimed at the same time.

I flicked my tail harder this time. Were they dumb or something? Of course Trixie could talk. They were acting like they’d never seen a pony before. But wait… I felt dumb myself for a second after realizing the truth – I actually was in another dimension, talking with completely alien creatures.

But they knew Ponish so well, so I just assumed…

“Eh, hello?” I suddenly felt keenly aware of how large the creatures were, being twice my height.

The girl blinked a few times, “What the hell are you?”

“A pony?” I didn’t like how weak my voice sounded just now, but I was unsure of what to expect.

“Bullshit,” the guy said and I glanced at him, drooping my ears at his harsh tone. “Ponies can’t talk.”

“Trixie is a pony and she can talk,” I pointed out the obvious fact, but he just frowned.

The girl took some flat item out of her bag and froze in place, staring at it intensely; the guy was looking over her shoulder as she fiddled with it. I tilted my head, feeling nervous. Maybe Trixie would be wise to run – who knew what those creatures were up to.

I took a small step back and then another, when the girl suddenly exclaimed “Aha!”.

“It’s Trixie Lulamoon from that silly kid’s show I used to watch,” the girl said. “I knew it was a movie set, but damn you look so realistic.”

The girl approached me and suddenly groped my coat without permission. What a rude thing to do! I snorted at her angrily and flatted my ears, stepping away from her eerie palm with all those fingers moving independently from each other. Brrr.

“Trixie doesn’t like to be touched, thank you!”

The girl retracted her limb to herself.

“Sorry.”

I nodded to her gracefully, showing her that she was forgiven. She liked my show, so I couldn’t be angry at her – each fan of Trixie held a special place in my heart.

On the other hoof, she had referred to my amazing performance as a silly kid’s show.

How did she know about it in the first place anyway? I thought Discord had sent me to another dimension. Perhaps I was so popular after all that even strange creatures from some alien world had heard about me! That was the only explanation I had.

I felt a warm and pleasant feeling swelling in my chest – Trixie was famous.

“Are you a robot?” the girl asked. “Your fur is so fuzzy though.”

A robot? Trixie had no idea what the girl had meant by that, but she appreciated a compliment on her fur’s quality. I smiled, but decided to correct her anyway. “Trixie’s a pony.”

“Whatever you say, pony.”

I thought I’d heard sarcasm in her voice, but I dismissed it. What would she be sarcastic about?

“Do you want to see my newest magical tricks?”

“Sure, why not.”

I quickly reshuffled the countless magical acts I knew and picked the one I thought would impress them the most. I needed my hat and cape for the show though, so I quickly levitated them from inside my wagon and put them on – I was ready now.

The creatures stared at me strangely once again, but I forced myself to smile. The show hadn’t even started yet, for Celestia’s sake. Tough crowd, it seemed, but Trixie had a lot of experience with those.

“Behold the legendary magic act of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

I cast a little firework spell for better effect, causing the tiny explosions to pop and flash around me, but the creatures recoiled in fear; the female one even dropped her flat object onto the grass.

“What is that?!”

“They’re shooting at us! Run!”

The guy grabbed the girl by her arm and they both ran away, without even looking back. Soon, they had disappeared behind the trees they’d come from.

“B-but what about the show?” I felt the tears welling up, but I blinked them away. If somepony didn’t want to see Trixie’s show, then fine! She wouldn’t force them!

I stopped the now useless firework spell, cursing it internally. Damn spell… I swore to never use it again while performing in front of the local bipedals, if it came to that.

Picking up the item the girl had dropped – just to return it in case I saw her again – I put it in my saddlebag and gently tapped my wagon. “Do you like this place? Me neither.”

I harnessed myself to the wagon and pulled it behind me. It was pretty heavy, but Trixie was a powerful pony, so she did it without much effort.

There wasn’t any obvious direction to go, so I picked whatever way my wagon could be pulled through. A forest was around me, but it didn’t look quite as terrifying as the Everfree Forest.

But even if it was, Trixie was more than ready to deal with whatever danger she might come across.

Soon, I found a lake and decided to stop there. That was the perfect place to spend a day in until Discord took me home – plenty of water to drink and grass to munch on.

I didn’t like grass because it was too bland, but I often had to eat it on my travels. Yes, sometimes Trixie didn’t have the money to afford a good meal…

But whatever, I wasn’t feeling hungry at the moment, so I jumped into my wagon and just lay on the bed. I was tired from pulling my wagon and slightly disappointed at the outcome of my first contact with the locals.

Having nothing better to do, I levitated the girl’s item and held it before my eyes. It was a flat square with a glistening surface; I wondered what was so special about it.

I examined it from every side and found some buttons. An image of myself appeared on the screen as soon as I tapped one of them, and I almost dropped it into my face, startled.

“Whoa!”

I examined the picture more closely.

“Trixie Lulamoon,” I read the wording above the picture out loud. “Supporting character of…”

What? Supporting character? Trixie was the star of her show, not some supporting character! The rest of the wording was hidden behind the picture however. With a furious snort, I used magic to move it away, and the rest of the text was revealed.

I eagerly read it as well.

I spent the next few hours engulfed in the artefact, reading one wall of text after another, with each one sounding more incredible than the last. They all spoke about Trixie and the other ponies like we were all part of some kind of fictional show that had ended years ago.

It was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever read!

By that time, I had understood the concept of the artefact in my grasp, thanks to Trixie’s great mind. Its sole purpose was to use the Internet and everypony with such an artefact could access it. Everypony could also freely write their thoughts in there and it was one of those thoughts that I’d been furiously reading time and time again for ten minutes now.

Trixie is the worst character of the entire show, no doubt about that. Just look at her behavior in season 1 – it’s unforgivable, somepony by the name of CoolPony123 had written.

I quickly figured out the way to write back – the instructions about logging in had been pretty straightforward to Trixie – and typed my answer, How dare you badmouth the Great and Powerful Trixie? I’m a great character!

Soon CoolPony123 wrote an answer.

Just stop your RP’ing and face reality. Trixie is objectively bad. Rainbow Dash, for example, is way better.

Before writing a powerful comeback to that meanie, I asked for some clarification of what RP was and when somepony else explained it, I became even more mad at CoolPony123. He had the gall to claim I was just pretending to be Trixie! No matter how much I said otherwise, he refused to believe me.

After a while another user named Birek, introducing himself as a moderator, intervened in our talk, Stop RP’ing, please. It’s against the rules. We only analyze the show and its characters on this forum.

I was already fuming inside and typed the answer without thinking.

I AM THE REAL TRIXIE!!!

Well, you were warned, Birek posted and I couldn’t write an answer as it said “You’ve been banned” with angry red letters.

I threw the now useless artefact across the wagon and punched against my pillow. The tears of righteous anger streamed out of my eyes. Why’d he banned poor Trixie for saying the truth?!

It all had to be part of Discord’s elaborate plan for punishing Trixie, no doubt. She shouldn’t have teased the Spirit of Chaos itself, but she had just enjoyed one of her rare victories so much… that she hadn’t been able to stop.

“Trixie hates this dimension. Please, take me back…” I quickly wiped the tears away with the tip of my cape – it would cost my reputation for somepony, especially Discord, to see the Great and Powerful Trixie like that.

I felt the wagon shaking and the night outside was replaced by a bright day. Did he really listen?! Honestly, I thought he would just ignore me as usual.

Jumping off the bed, I ran outside, noticing Ponyville in the distance with a sigh of relief. Trixie was back in Equestria where everypony knew and loved me…Well, most of them anyway. Or at least Starlight; she definitely loved Trixie.

A chuckle from above me made me jump like a spooked cat and I looked up at the grinning draconequus, splayed on the roof of my wagon.

“Oh, it was priceless! Just priceless,” he said, barely containing his laugh. “It was beyond my wildest expectations. Your face when they banned you was hilarious!”

Discord conjured a mirror in front of me that showed my face distorted by fury, instead of my real reflection.

“So, how does it feel to be teased?”

“Horrible,” I drooped my ears, but then pointed a hoof at his grinning muzzle. “You do that all the time to ponies!”

“Exactly! It’s my job, not yours.”

“You’re just a sore loser…” I mumbled under my breath.

“There are countless dimensions over there, you know.”

“Trixie will tell Fluttershy on you!” I smiled, praising my thoughtfulness inside.

“Discord is not amused,” he said, mocking my style of speech, but I could see my threat had affected him. “Fine, Discord offers Trixie a deal. Beat me in poker again and you can tease me as much as you wish. But if I win, you’ll reveal your feelings for Starlight to everypony.”

I blushed heavily, hiding my eyes from Discord’s nasty grin. How did he know? Nopony was supposed to know about those feelings! I would die of shame if everypony, especially Starlight herself, learned it.

But on the other hoof, if I won… I could tell everypony about my victory over the Spirit of Chaos and it would be a real story this time. It was simply impossible to resist that temptation.

My hoof and his claw bumped together. “Deal!”

Author's Note

Do you like the story? I will write more if you do.