Delusions of Equestria

by Opal Rider

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 3550

Drunk people, crazy driving, don't do this at home kids.

After five friends come home from a party drunk, they crash their car and end up almost dead. So dead, in fact, that they're unable to continue their lives in the world that they know so well. After being placed in the middle of Equestria, they find that no pony would even look at them, let alone reply to anything they're asking. NOT your typical humans in Equestria fic.

Also, please please please feel free to comment. I really like to know what I'm doing right and wrong, and only you guys can help me with that. Any little imput counts. (Yes, even you trolls that might be around telling me that I suck and should go die in a hole :D)

Published 2012-08-03 16:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-29 18:44:47 UTC

prologue

Prologue

Leaving the pub, the group walked across the desolate parking lot. The loud music emanating from inside the building was cut short as the doors swung shut, but the lights still burned brightly through the windows, and if one happened to turn around, they could still see the people they had left, dancing in between the tables, quite a few tripping over their own feet. A blue neon sign hung above the shoddy, wooden building they had just left, and the occasional streetlamp illuminated their pathway over to the car. The black silhouettes of trees formed a ring around the lot, looming overhead in an almost ominous fashion. The doors were opened, and everyone piled back into the sedan, drunken smiles on their faces. There were five in all, and the seats were full, which made for a whole lot of rough housing in the back. Jokes were shared, laughs followed, and the merriment was astounding. Matt took out his Rainbow Dash figurine, placing it in the cup holder next to him. Kyle wiped the sweat off his brony shirt the best he could, feeling surprisingly hot in the cramped car. Sam sat into the driver’s seat, and put the keys into the ignition, probably a little too forcefully for the wellbeing of the vehicle. Steve leaned his head out of the window, feeling a tad sick; Josh patted him on the back, which ended up feeling a bit more like a slap than its less violent counterpart. But no one really seemed to care; they were too busy having fun. The car was put into reverse, and hit its rear bumper on one of the streetlamps in the parking lot before pulling out onto the road.

“Hey guys,” Matt said, his speech slurred from the alcohol. “What if, Equestria was actually real, and there was actually, *burp*, some way to get there?”

This idea brought up even more laughter, and Sam turned around, taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds to look back at his friend. “You’re jokin’, right, man? I’ve heard some crazy ideas fly out of that mouth of yours, but this is the craziest.”

“No, really I mean it. What if we’re actually able to get to Equestria? That would be, err, really awesome.”

Sam turned his eyes back to the road, not that he was able to pay attention to the traffic anyways. A car went by on the other side of the road, almost getting hit because the group’s car swerved partially into the other lane. “Whatever, man. Anyone else here think that it’s possible?” His words dripped with sarcasm, as well as with a bit of drool that fell out of his mouth when talking.

“Ha, of course,” Josh said. “We’re already living in Equestria, didn’t you know?”

“Lol, yeah,” Kyle replied.

“Ugh,” Steve groaned, which everybody took for a yes.

A stop sign flew past.

“Okay, then,” Sam said with a laugh. “I guess I’ll see you guys in Equestria, then. Once we’re there, we’ll send a postcard back to earth, who knows.”

And for one second, everyone believed him. And in that second, the car slammed into the wall, sending everyone into blackness.

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A bright light shone overhead, and a reddish hue shone into Matt’s eyes through the lids. Though he was a bit groggy from the sudden wake up, the thought occurred to him that he didn’t have a hangover at all. He gave a silent cheer for himself before focusing on sitting up, eyes still closed to keep the light from getting in. Finally, he opened them a crack, letting his eyes adjust for a minute before opening them completely. Many thoughts ran to his brain at once, as he tried to take in his surroundings. The first and foremost was that his surroundings were completely white. The floor he sat on seemed to stretch out forever, without any landmarks for him to get a sense of direction. The horizon was marked where the white became a lighter grey, which seemed to hang in the air like a dense fog. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t notice his friends, lying next to him, still asleep. However, as Steve began to stir, his eyes focused on the people at his feet.

“Do I want to open my eyes?” Steve asked, probably more to himself than anybody.

“Probably not, man,” Matt responded.

The sound of Matt’s voice, however, caused Steve’s eyes to snap open wide, as the events from that night came flooding back to him. “What the hell happened!? Are we dead? I know we must be... Whoa, what is this place?” The sudden realization of his surroundings hit Steve like a wave, which was more than enough to get him to stop panicking for the few seconds Matt needed to get in a word edgewise.

“You, sir, need to clam down. Deep breaths now. Deep breaths. Okay, now stop saying we’re dead, it’s starting to freak me out.”

“You’re not dead,” a voice said to their left.

Both heads turned towards the stranger. The man looked to be in his late twenties, brown hair cut long, and parted on the left side. He was dressed entirely in white, from the sleeveless shirt to the sagging pants, which hung way too low.

“And who do ya think you are?” Matt asked. His other friends were starting to wake up now as well mumbling things such as “Where am I?” and “Eminem with his hair grown out?”

“I go by multiple names,” the man said. “You can call me Gabe, if you want.”

“Okay, and I assume you know everything about this here place, don’t you?” Matt replied to ‘Gabe’.

“Well if you want the short answer, then yes. I know a whole lot about you, too, but your friends don’t need to hear about how you used to wet your bed when you slept.”

Matt quickly masked his shock, although everyone could still see that he was blushing. “Alright, fine, then. Just tell us where we are.”

“You’re in between life and death.” He explained. After a confused look from the group, he explained farther. “Yes, you technically died. But unlike normal death, you didn’t die enough to completely die. The bit of life that was left inside your bodies was taken here, in a place we call Sector. Unfortunately, humans can’t stay in Sector, as their life starts degrading until they’re left with nothing. This poses a bit of a problem, as going back to your own universe poses a risk of encountering someone who knew you, and this could also cause a risk of someone seeing, hearing, or even smelling you, which could become a problem due to the fact that everyone there thinks you’re dead.
“So, what we do is take you to a completely different universe, usually one that you’ve had some connection to, yet have never actually seen. This gives you the advantage of having prior knowledge of your surroundings, and can possibly enjoy your time there. Wait. Weren’t there supposed to be five of you?”

Matt took a look at the others standing in the circle. There was Steve, Josh, and Kyle…. Wait. Where was Sam? His thoughts were cut short as Gabe began to glow with an increasingly bright white. A dull roar began to fill the space where they stood.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I have to go. Have fun wherever you end up”

“Wait!” Matt exclaimed. “It there anything else we’d need to know?!”

“You’re not completely alive!” Gabe called back, the noise becoming too loud to talk in quieter tones. “Remember! The residents might not be able to-…” They never caught his last words. In a flash so bright, it nearly blinded them, Gabe was gone, and in his place was a single, white, glowing orb. A small tag hung off the side, with the words take this written on it in graffiti style letters. The group looked around at each other, mixed expressions on their faces. Matt took the first move, and placed his hand over the sphere. His friends, with nothing else to do, followed the cliché anime idea, and stacked their hands, one on top of the other, until each one was touching the orb in some form or fashion. As the last hand was placed, the white landscape around them slowly started to melt away, and the vision of Gabe and their time there ended as soon as it had begun.

Matt rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the spots. The grass underneath him felt a homely comfort after where he had just come, and no harsh light glared down at him from above, as it had seconds before. The shade of trees overhead provided a cool spot to lay back, and opening his eyes, he flipped his head from side to side to get a better picture of where he was at. He was lying just to the inside of a forest, which continued on to his left. Large oak trees blotted out the sky, with very few patches of sunlight leaking in through the branches. They seemed to have been there for ages, their bark gnarled, and a few vines hanging from the lower limbs.

In the other direction, on the other hand, was a much more interesting sight. A large village sat in a valley, the thatched roofs visible over the crest of the hill that he was resting on. Matt sat up to get a better look. Below the thatched roofs sat Wood beamed houses, almost tan in color, surrounding what he assumed was the city hall. The town was decorated with flowers, and the inhabitants walking around were- Wait, is that a pony?

“Guys?” Matt called for his friends, looking around the area. “Guys, no really. Guys guys guysguysguysguys you really want to see this, now.”

A muffled response came from the tree to his left, and Matt pulled Steve out from a hollow, foot first, and set him upright beside him.

“You haven’t seen Josh or Kyle around, have you?” Matt asked him.

“I’ve had my head stuck in a tree for the past five minutes, you think I saw anything other than that spider that had to land on my face?” Steve replied. “What’s this all about, anyways?”

“Feel free to look to your left.”

Matt smiled large as his friend took in the nearby village, his face getting more and more priceless. “I’d recognize Ponyville anywhere,” Steve said. “That doesn’t mean I believe what I’m seeing.”

“I know, right?” Matt grinned again. “But hey, there’s only one way to find if it’s real or not. I’ll race ya to the bottom!” He began to charge down the hill, only barely hearing Steve’s doubts of “Shouldn’t we be trying to make ourselves seem as normal as possible?”

Heading down onto the streets, Matt ran past a couple of fillies playing hopscotch, jumped over a produce cart, and made in all the way to the town square before shouting out, “Hello everyone! My name’s Matt, and that’s my friend over there Steve!” He pointed down the street he had run in from, where Steve was scampering to catch up. “We’re sort of new here in town, so feel free to say hi!” He waited for a response from one of the villagers. None came. No one even looked.

“Maybe you just didn’t yell loud enough,” Steve said, rolling his eyes at him. “Way to make yourself known.”

“I don’t get it,” Mat said. “Surely one of them would at least notice…” He walked up to the nearest pony. “Excuse me ma’am, you wouldn’t happen to know a place to stay around here, would you?” She didn’t respond. At all. The mare just kept on walking in the direction she was headed, as if he hadn’t even spoken to her.

“Wow, these guys are really good at ignoring you,” Steve said. “I should take lessons from them.”

Matt tried to think of a witty comeback. After a brief pause, he finally settled on “Shut up,” and walked down a random pathway in a huff.

“Hey man, it was sarcasm. Trust me, there’s no way they couldn’t have heard you. Unless…” Steve left off his train of thought. As Matt turned around to see what his friend was up to, Steve turned towards the nearest wall and ran straight at it. Before Matt could even shout a warning, he hit the wall head first. But instead of the crumpled body Matt thought he’d see his body disappeared completely, leaving nothing. Just as quickly, Steve’s head popped through the wall and gave Matt a devilish grin.

Matt wasn’t sure what to think of what just happened. “You just… how did you… What did I even just watch?!”

“Well, that Gabe guy mentioned that we were mostly dead. No one can see us, no one can hear us. Chances are no one can touch us or smell us either. What I just tested confirmed what I was already thinking. We, sir, are ghosts,” Steve replied, floating a few feet off the ground as he said so. “Anyhow, the couple in this house over here is doing some particularly naughty stuff; I think I’ll leave them to their privacy.” With that, he walked fully out of the wall, and leaned against it.

“But we’re still able to pick up stuff, right?” Matt asked.

“I wouldn’t know. Why don’t you do some tests on your own? It’s not like I’m a walking instruction guide or anything. Although I guess I could help you with this one. Here, think fast.” With that, Steve tossed a piece of brick to Matt, who caught it easily.

“I guess we have a lot to learn,” Matt said.

“That we do,” Steve replied. “But first, I think we should find Kyle and Josh, see what they figured out.”

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So many aches and pains. He could feel them all down his body. His head hurt the worst, and pulsed in time with his heartbeat, which was working overtime. The itchy blanket over his body didn’t do much to prevent the air conditioning from giving him goose bumps. He could feel the IV needle in his arm. “That must’ve been some crash,” Sam said to nobody in particular.

“That it was,” the doctor replied. “That it was. You’re lucky to be alive right now. You have a rather serious concussion, though. Might take a little while to recover.”

“Is that so?” Sam asked. He placed his hand to his head, and cringed at the bad idea. “How long do you think it’ll take for me to heal up?”

“It’ll be a couple of months at least. Don’t expect to run off of this one too easily.”

“How’d the rest of the group turn out? Surely they’re somewhere nearby.”

The doctor thought for a moment. “The people in the other car got off perfectly alright, save a few bumps and bruises. The child did have a few broken ribs, though. He should heal up rather quickly.”

“Well that’s nice to hear. But what about my friends? The ones that were in the car with me?”

The doctor thought some more. Walking out into the hallway for a second, he said something to the nurse. She nodded. He walked back in.

“Sam,” he started. “There were no other bodies found in the car. You were the only one there.”

“What!?” Sam winced, as the sharp movement of his jaw moved his head a bit. “So you expect me to believe that my friends just disappeared as the car crashed? Good god, they’re probably lying out in a ditch somewhere.”

“No, I expect you to believe that the concussion might have tampered with your memory a bit. It’s not uncommon. We should be able to get you a psychiatrist, if needed. For now, just rest. You need it.”

The doctor shut the door. The light from the outside hallways was cut off, leaving Sam in the middle of a sea of green and red light dots, coming from the machines on either side of him. He turned his face into the pillow, to blot them out.

Hours passed. Still no sleep. If he had had something to do, he would gladly give up this hopeless endeavor, yet staring at the ceiling didn’t exactly count as something to do. He started drumming on his chest. It was one of the odd things about Sam; he always had to be doing something with his hands. Being it picking his nails, fiddling with a pencil, or, like now, playing the drums, his hands were in constant motion. It wasn’t exactly entertaining, more like habit. He leaned over to look at the clock. 3:41. he had a while to wait before his morning meal. Sighing, he fell into the lightest sleep he ever received, tossing and turning throughout the rest of the night.

Waking up, Sam rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the pounding headache. An nurse walked in, carrying a tray of some of the hospital cafeteria food. Sam looked at the mixture of jello and… er, something else, and took a tentative bite. While edible might not exactly be the right word, it certainly wouldn’t kill him. However, with the lack of movement and worrisome news he just received the day before, his appetite shrunk severely. As the nurse picked up the tray again, Sam got a last idea that popped into his head.

“Ma’am?” He asked. “You wouldn’t happen to have a notebook laying around here somewhere that I could have, would you?”

The nurse said nothing, which seemed to be becoming a trend with her, but nodded and exited the room. Coming back a few minutes later, she handed him a blue spiral bound, and while the cover said 80 sheets, he was pretty sure that there was a bit less. He took the notebook from her with a “Thank you”, before watching her turn away and exit the room.

After waiting a few seconds, he grabbed a pencil off of the table beside him. Flipping the notebook open to page one, he put the pencil to the paper.

Day one. He wrote. And then, he stopped. Not because he didn’t want to continue, but because he realized that other than lay in bed the entire day and night while he was here. He could always write about his feelings, but at the moment they were so jumbled that he didn’t know whether even he could decipher them. So he wrote exactly that. Guess what I did today! He wrote. I sat in a hospital bed (Insert smile here). I guess there really should be more of a point to this entry, so I’m going to fill it up with things I might be able to have fun with without having the doctors grab me by the throat.

Number 1: Television. The most obvious solution, although not the most entertaining, I’m sure. Might hold my attention for a few minutes at a time, unless. . . hang on. . . Today is Saterday, at 12 in the morning. Time for some ponies.

And with that, he set down the notebook, grabbed the remote from beside his bed, and turned the channel to the hub network. As the theme song hit his ears, he set back into a comfortable position, and put his hands behind his head. The episode started, and the mirth began. The camera focused on the mane six in the town square, holding a get together around a table. However, after a few seconds, that was the least of what caught Sam’s attention. As the scene progressed, two black outlines came charging down a street in the background. One ran into the middle of the square, and put a hoof to his mouth as if he were yelling something. The other one ran up close behind, before turning towards the former, and having what Sam assumed to be a conversation of sorts. The first one nodded, and walked over to one of the background ponies. He stopped, and this time Sam thought he saw a mouth opening and closing, but the other horse continued walking in the direction she was headed, completely oblivious. Well this is strange, Sam thought, as he watched the pony walk down another alleyway, closely followed by the other. I’ll have to get a hold of a computer sometime, to see what the internet makes of this.

He didn’t even wait to watch the rest of the episode. Flipping open his journal, he drew a line under the initial entry to separate the two, and began to write.

I just watched an all time weird. Never have I seen two black outline ponies walk across the screen in the middle of an episode, nor any other time for that matter. Must research, must research, must research. . . GAH! Give me my own house any day. I’m gonna go crazy in here.

Looking up from his notebook, he watched the pink credit screen appear in the place of the episode he had just missed. Maybe next Saturday, he thought.