Soldier Boys
By: Proteus-92
Chapter I: Meet the Team
"Thanks again for helping me out with this, Applejack."
"Eh, it's nothin' Twilight."
"I'm sorry about asking for your help. I know that you're busy with planting, but-"
"Hey, don't worry 'bout it so much- Big Macintosh can handle things on his own 'til I get back."
Twilight Sparkle and Applejack were trotting through the Everfree Forest back to Ponyville. The two had paid a visit to Zecora, picking up a large number of herbs that Twilight had asked the zebra to find. They struggled under the new weight of their bags, packed to the brim with a wide variety of plants. "By the way Twilight," Applejack began, "ya never did finish tellin' me what all these plants're for."
"These are all herbs that grow in the forest. I wanted to study them and find out what their effects are."
"Well if ya wanted to know 'bout plants, why didn'tcha ask me? I know a thing or two about plants. And Fluttershy uses all kinds of herbs when she's helpin' her animals."
"I know, but these herbs are different- they're supposed to have all kinds of magical properties that-"
Suddenly there was a loud screech, louder than anything the two had ever heard before, followed by a horrific-sounding smash. From the volume, the source of the sound must have been somewhere nearby. "Ya hear that?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah," Twilight replied. "Let's go see what it was."
"What're ya, crazy? Who knows what could've made that noise?"
"I know we don't come here often, but I don't think that's normal, even for here. We should go take a look- someone might be hurt."
"Well… alright, but I still don't like this." The two moved through the trees, towards the source of the sounds. After a minute or two, they began to hear voices, indistinct at first, but they grew clearer as they moved forward.
"…so, how's it looking so far?" one of the voices asked- a male voice.
"As far as I can tell the front axle is alright, so we have some good news at least," another voice replied- this one was also male, and sounded a good deal more chipper than his companion.
A much deeper voice asked, "Shouldn't we check if the engine is working?"
"We'll get to that in a sec. Just let me finish checking things down here. Okay, that looks good…"
Twilight and Applejack finally came to the source of the voices- a small group of animals standing around something neither of them had ever seen before. It looked like a cart, but was radically different- it was a massive blocky thing, standing atop four large black wheels, seemingly made of metal painted sandy beige. The front end was smashed against a tree, bits of metal and glass sticking out at random angles. There didn't seem to be a yoke, and in any case, the cart appeared far too heavy to be pulled. Twilight's attention was soon drawn to an intimidating looking device on the top of the cart. She couldn't identify it, but the long, slender machine seemed to have bad news written all over it.
She then realized that there was somepony meant to be operating the machine. No, not somepony, just some one: a creature with long, shaggy light gray fur, yellow eyes, and a short snout full of long, sharp teeth. Thanks to her studies, Twilight was able to identify the creature as a wolf.
Twilight then took notice of the other animals that were present. There were four others, all standing around the cart: after the wolf, Twlight spotted what appeared to be a very, very large scorpion, sitting in the front of the crashed cart. Next the scorpion, leaning against the side of the cart, was a golden-eyed, brown feathered falcon. Standing a short distance away from the falcon stood a large, heavyset ape with a patch of silver fur on his back- a gorilla. The last animal, standing apart from the others, was a dark red pony with a black mane- he stood with his back toward Twilight and Applejack, keeping them from getting a good look at his face.
"Okay, I'm almost done. So far everything looks okay," the chipper voice said. It didn't seem to come from any of the animals present- rather, it seemed to come from somewhere underneath the cart. "I'm surprised there's no damage under here."
"Well, I'm sure the rest of the Humvee would be in perfect shape if somebody hadn't been fooling around while I was driving… Leon," the scorpion replied- Twilight recognized his voice as the first she and Applejack had heard as they approached.
The voice from under the "Humvee," Leon, asked, "Ocho, are you implying that this is my fault?"
The scorpion, "Ocho," snapped back, "Oh, I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you this was your fault."
"What! You can't be serious! It's not like I grabbed the wheel and steered us into this tree!"
"Yes, that's totally what you did! Your foot got caught in the steering wheel and drove us right into it!"
The wolf then said, "What were you doing crawling around in the front seat of the Humvee anyway, Leon?" The wolf had a slight accent, but not one either Applejack or Twilight could place.
"Well don't blame me!" Leon said. "If anything's to blame, it's your guys' terrible taste in music."
"What does that have to do with anything?" the gorilla asked in a deep voice.
Before she realized what she was doing, Twilight slowly began to inch toward the group, watching in pure fascination. Unfortunately, her hoof came down on a twig, snapping it with a loud, dry crack- instantly, the group's attention snapped towards her and Applejack. Immediately, the wolf turned the machine to his front and aimed it at the two. "Come out," he said, "and keep your paws where I can see them."
Afraid of what these strangers might do to them, but even more afraid of what might happen if they didn't comply, Twilight cautiously stepped out into the open, followed by Applejack. All the animals present (with the exception of "Leon") regarded them carefully, including the pony who had his back turned toward them earlier. The two could now see that he wore a featureless metal mask that completely hid his features- even his eyes were invisible, hidden behind thick black lenses. He stared at them silently for several moments, before holding out his foreleg- in response, the wolf aimed the machine away from Twilight and Applejack. The pony then brought his hoof up to his head in a salute.
"My name is Captain Reginald Jennet, of Falkanian Army Expeditionary Team 8," he said stiffly, speaking for the first time. "My team and I have been sent on a mission to establish positive diplomatic relations with neighboring countries on the behalf of our government."
Several moments passed in silence. "Oh! Um, h-hello… Captain," Twilight began uncertainly. "I… I'm Twilight Sparkle. And this is my friend, Applejack." The two smiled nervously at the group.
"You don't have to call me Captain. You can just call me 'Red,' if you'd like." Red turned toward his companions. "I'll introduce you to the rest of my team." He started by pointing his hoof to the falcon. "This is my second-in-command and team sniper Lieutenant Hawkeye." Hawkeye glanced at the two briefly, before looking away; Red then pointed to the wolf. "Up there is our medic, Sergeant Lawrence." Lawrence waved a paw at them. "Over here is our heavy weapons expert, Corporal Silverback." Like Hawkeye, Silverback glanced at the two for a moment before looking away. "And the one in the Humvee is our driver, Private Ocho."
"Private First Class now, Captain," Ocho said.
"Right. Our last member is a little preoccupied at the moment- I'll get him." Red bent down and looked under the Humvee. "Leon… Leon! Come out here and meet the locals."
"First you tell me to fix the car, and now you're telling me to meet some locals. Make up your mind already!" Leon didn't come out right away; instead, a long, scaly green tail emerged from under the Humvee. Twilight panicked at once. "Aaah! Snake, snake!" She turned and ran; however, Applejack bit down on her tail, preventing her from running away.
"Hey, now that's impolite. I'm not a snake." Leon finally emerged from the underside of the "Humvee." Sure enough, just as he had said, he wasn't a snake- instead, he was a rather large lizard with large round eyes, two large horns, and a ridge of spines growing across his back. Twilight identified him as a chameleon; then, seemingly as if to prove this fact, Leon's scales briefly flashed a broad number of colors, before returning to their original green. A few moments later, he crawled back under the Humvee.
"We were passing through this forest when we had a… slight accident," Red then said- his voice no longer held the stiffness of before. "So, I need to ask you, is there anywhere nearby where we can take it for repairs?"
Twilight didn't respond. Even though the outside appeared simple, she got the feeling that the "Humvee" was far more complex than it looked. Twilight doubted that there was anypony in Ponyville with the expertise required to help fix it- for that matter, there may be only one pony in all of Equestria who might have such skill.
Red read Twilight's expression and said "…I'll take that as a no. Leon?" He looked back. "Do you think you can repair the damage by yourself?"
"Well, I'll have to take a look under the hood first, but as long as the engine isn't too banged up, I'm pretty sure I can fix everything on my own."
"Good. In that case…" He turned his attention back towards Twilight and Applejack. "Is there anywhere we can put this for safekeeping?"
"Come on you lazy dopes, push!" Leon yelled.
Ocho peered out the Humvee's window and replied, "I don't see you doing any pushing back there, string-bean."
"Well I don't see you back here helping us either, Ocho!"
"Someone's gotta steer this brick-on-wheels, and I don't trust you enough to handle it."
"Guys, enough!" Red said. "Leon, come over here and help us push. Ocho, keep your eyes on the road."
The team was slowly pushing the Humvee down the road toward Ponyville- the engine refused to start. Applejack had agreed, reluctantly, to let them keep the Humvee in the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, for the time being. Applejack and Twilight walked in front of the group, guiding them to the farm. "Well…" Twilight began, "…today certainly turned out to be a very… interesting day, don't you think so Applejack?"
"Yeah… I guess ya could say that…" Applejack replied. "But interestin' wasn't exactly the word I had in mind."
"Well, it isn't every day that foreigners come here to visit. But, they seem okay. What do you think of them, Applejack?"
"I ain't been around 'em long enough to have an opinion yet." The two looked back- the group's conversation had segued into an argument about who snored the loudest at night. "But, if ya think they're alright, then I'll believe ya Twilight."
Suddenly, an object appeared in the sky above Ponyville, racing toward them. It stopped in the air just in front of them, revealing itself to be a pegasus with blue fur and a rainbow mane- Rainbow Dash. "What's up guys?" she asked casually, landing on the ground. "And who are they?" She pointed to the group pushing the Humvee.
"Twilight thinks they're foreigners," Applejack answered.
"Why don't you go around and introduce yourself, Rainbow?" Twilight said. "They're a little strange, but they seem to be okay."
"Yeah I guess," she said, hiding her excitement. Foreigners? Rainbow had met a lot of people over the years, but only a very small number came from beyond Equestria's borders. She circled to the back of the Humvee, to find the five animals straining against it with all their might. Strange was right- she'd never seen such a diverse group gathered in one place before. "Oh hey, another local!" Leon said excitedly. "Everyone say hi to the local!" He then immediately said in a much lower voice, "Hi, local."
"Come on Leon, help us," Hawkeye said, pushing against the Humvee with his whole body. "These legs aren't made for pushing!"
Rainbow looked at the falcon with growing excitement- it had been a good long while since she had somebody new to challenge to a race. "Hey bird!" she called. "You look like you might be a pretty good flyer- how 'bout a race?"
"Sorry," he began, still pushing, "I'd love to… but I'm a little… preoccupied at the moment."
Rainbow was a little disappointed at first, but then had a wicked idea. "Oh I get it- you're scared, aren't you?"
"Excuse me?" That did the trick- Hawkeye stopped pushing the Humvee and turned his attention toward the blue pegasus.
"You heard me! You're scared because I could totally whip you in a race!"
"Well then, I hope that you won't mind proving that."
Rainbow trotted right up to Hawkeye. "Hah, anytime, anywhere."
"Alright then, I challenge you to a race- right here, right now."
"You're on." Rainbow smirked. "This'll be easy."
Hawkeye smirked right back. "You're gonna eat those words, horse."
"Not if I make you eat them first, birdbrain! Ready? Three, two, one… go!" And in the blink of an eye, they were gone.
After a few moments, Ocho leaded out the Humvee's window and said to Twilight and Applejack, "I hope your friend knows what she's getting into. Hawkeye is one of the fastest flyers in all of Falkania."
"No, not one of the fastest…" Leon replied, "…the fastest."
"Guys come on, we need to keep moving," Red said. And the group resumed pushing.
Before long, the group had managed to reach Ponyville's town square. The team (at least those who were present) would've preferred to stay out of town, so as not to be so intrusive, but Twilight and Applejack insisted that cutting through Ponyville was the fastest way to reach Sweet Apple Acres. The group got plenty of strange looks as they passed. Before long, the streets were lined with ponies- it seemed that every pony in Ponyville had gathered to get a glimpse of the strangers and their odd machine. The group could hear snatches of conversation as they passed by:
"…is the circus in town?"
"…I've never seen an animal like that before…"
"Look, there's a scorpion sitting in the front…"
"By Celestia, he's huge!"
"…that pony with them doesn't have a cutie mark…"
As they walked, Twilight said, "I'm gonna see how those guys are doing. I'll be right back." She slowed down, falling back to walk alongside the guys. "So, how are you all holding up?" she asked.
"Alright, I suppose," Red replied. "Does this always happen when you get visitors?" He tilted his head toward the still-growing crowd.
"Not really, no." As a matter of fact, the only thing that could draw crowds like this was a visit from Princess Celestia herself. "But don't worry, that just means-"
"Twilight? Twilight Sparkle, is that you?" A voice called from behind. Twilight looked to see a white unicorn trotting toward her- she noticed the unicorn had a new, navy-blue scarf wrapped around her neck.
"Uh, hi Rarity. What brings-"
"Oh my!" Rarity exclaimed. She paced alongside the Humvee, looking at it as though it were some kind of monster. "What in the name of Celestia is this… this… I-I don't think there's even a word for it!"
"Are you saying that it's ugly?" Ocho asked, poking his head out the Humvee's window.
Rarity recoiled, from a combination of both surprise and horror. "Oh! Um… well, I… it's just…"
Ocho sighed. "These things are reliable, but yeah, I know it's ugly. There's a reason why we call it the Big Ugly Rolling Fu-"
"Anyway…" Twilight interrupted. "What brings you out here, Rarity? Did you come to watch the show too?"
"Actually, I just finished putting together this darling little scarf, and I simply had to show it to you." She posed a bit, to better show off her creation. "Now tell me, is it lovely? Or is it… magnificent?"
"Personally, I think it's the wrong color," one of the guys said; the slight accent confirmed the voice as belonging to the wolf, "Lawrence."
"I beg your pardon?" Rarity asked, incredulous.
"It's spring, isn't it? I always thought spring was a time for… nng… pastel colors."
"Well I never!" Rarity huffed. "I didn't work my hooves off to make this scarf absolutely perfect just to hear some dog insult my work!" In truth though, she thought that perhaps she should have gone with a slightly lighter shade of blue.
Just then, there was a sudden uproar in the crowd; they could hear voices shouting and then a loud crash, followed by the sounds of a crying child. "Oh dear," Lawrence said, before leaving the others; he then leapt into the Humvee through its rear windows, and began searching around for something.
"Hey, Lawrence what are you doing? Ocho asked.
"Duty calls," Lawrence said. He then slung a bag with a red cross sewn onto it across his back. He then jumped out the Humvee's window and headed toward the crowd. Red called out to him "L-Lawrence, wait!"
"Don't worry Captain, I'll catch up with you later!" he called back, before disappearing into the crowd. A moment passed before Rarity galloped after him. "You come back!" she called out. "I'm not finished giving you a piece of my mind!"
Despite their missing teammate, the group continued on, though a fair bit slower than before. The crowd had dissipated not too long before, although their passing brought plenty of curious stares and the occasional onlooker. Leon sniffed the air a few times, and said out loud, "Oh man, something smells good." Indeed, the air was filled with the scent of freshly baked pastries, and Twilight and Applejack soon realized why; Sugarcube Corner was just up ahead, and the group would be passing by it in a few short minutes. It wasn't long though until the two ponies saw a familiar pink pony bouncing down the road toward them. "Oh no…" Twilight said.
"Hi!" Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly. "What are you guys doing? And what's that thing behind you?"
"Well, to make a long story short, we're lendin' these guys a hand," Applejack replied.
"Neat! Can I go meet them?" Pinkie flashed the two a winning smile.
"Uh, sure," Twilight said. "Just, don't bug them too much- they've been through kind of a lot today."
"I won't." She began to trot to the rear of the Humvee, stopping instantly when she spotted Ocho. "Oh wow, a scorpion! How did you get so big? And what's that thing you're riding in? Where are you from?"
"Hey, can't you see I'm driving here?" Ocho asked. "If you want to ask questions, you should ask the Captain- he's around the back." So, Pinkie continued, unprepared for what awaited her.
Pinkie gasped, leaping into the air, seeming to hang there for several seconds. When she touched the ground, she began asking a flurry of questions. "Wow there are more of you! Hey Mr. Lizard, can you grow your tail back if you lose it? And can you change colors? Do you like bananas, Mr. Monkey? Because I can make some good banana bread. Hey Mr. Pony, why don't you have a cutie mark? I thought all ponies got one. And what's the mask for? Are you hiding something? You can tell me if you are because I'm good at keeping secrets. Why's your scorpion friend so big?"
Red brought his hoof up to the side of his head. "Ugh, slow down- you're giving me a headache."
"Well I don't know about you, but I like this one already," Leon said. He stopped pushing and approached the pink pony, holding out a claw to her. "My name's Leon. What's yours?"
Pinkie unhesitatingly put her hoof in Leon's claw and shook wildly. "I'm Pinkie Pie! It's nice to meet you Leon! Cupcake?" She then reached back and pulled out a cupcake seemingly from nowhere.
"Uh… sure, thanks." He took a small bite out of it, before devouring the rest of the cupcake ravenously. "Wow, that's gotta be the best cupcake I've ever eaten!"
"Leon, get back over here and help us push," Red then said.
"Okay…" Leon sighed, and resumed pushing. A minute or two later, the Humvee slowly rolled past the bakery. "Hey Captain, look at that!" Leon said, pointing to it. "Man, I really could go for a pie right now. Can we stop and get one?"
"How are we supposed to do that without any money?" Red asked.
"I can pay for it!" Pinkie said.
"Really?" Leon asked.
"Really really."
"Really really really?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." The most solemn of Pinkie Pie's promises- once it was made, under no circumstances could it ever, ever be broken.
"Alright!" Without another word, Leon sped off to Sugarcube Corner, with Pinkie Pie skipping after him.
"Leon, come back!" Ocho yelled, half-climbing out of the Humvee. "We need you to fix the car!" He let out a sigh and sat back down, "Oh, forget it…"
"Well, it's just you and me Joe," Red then said to Silverback." Let's keep going before one of us gets dragged off too."
Well over an hour after they had started, the group finally reached Sweet Apple Acres. "Alright, finally," Applejack said, relieved. "C'mon folks, we're almost there!" Upon hearing this, the pony and gorilla pushed with all the strength they could muster, and in mere minutes, the Humvee came to a rest in the barn. When it reached its destination, Red and Silverback collapsed, struggling to catch their breath.
"I didn't think… I had that much… energy left in me," Red huffed.
"Neither did I," Silverback replied.
"There you are, Applejack," a voice then said. "I was startin' to get worried about'cha." Another pony stepped into the barn- a very tall, bright red pony with an orange mane, wearing a heavy-looking horse collar.
"Hey Big Macintosh," Applejack replied. "Sorry I took so long- I was out lendin' a hand to these folks." There was a brief pause. "So, you finish the plantin' yet?"
Big Macintosh shook his head. "Not yet. We tried our best, but at this rate, we won't finish plantin' 'til sometime tomorrow."
"Alright, I'll be right out there." She began to take off her bags as Big Macintosh left the barn.
Silverback looked down at Applejack with interest. "Planting? Perhaps I could be of assistance to you."
Applejack set her bags on the ground. "Look, ya don't need to worry about us. We can handle things just fine by ourselves."
"But it's partly our fault that your planting has fallen behind. Please, allow me to help you."
"I just said ya don't hafta-"
"I insist."
A moment passed before Applejack relented. "Well, if it helps ya feel better. C'mon on, then." She then left the barn, with Silverback following.
Ocho climbed out of the Humvee a few seconds later. "So, what should we do now, Captain?" he asked, stretching all of his legs.
"I'm not sure," Red replied. "Leon's the only one who can make repairs, so I guess we'll have to go find him."
"Are you sure? You know how he gets- I think it would be better for us to just wait for him."
"Yeah, I guess that's true- I remember the last time…"
As Twilight watched the two's conversation, she suddenly had an idea. "Why don't I show you guys around Ponyville?" she asked. "After all, who knows how long you might be staying here?"
"That's actually not a bad idea," Ocho replied. He looked over to Red. "What do you think, Captain?"
"I agree- a tour would be a good way for us to spend the afternoon, and maybe even establish a good reputation with the people here." Red then turned to Twilight. "We think that would be an excellent idea. Let's go."
"Okay. Would you mind lending me a hoof with this bag? I can't get it by myself…" After a moment, the three exited the barn, with Ocho carrying Applejack's bags, and set out down the road leading back into town. After a few minutes of walking however, something emerged from the bushes lining the path- a yellow pegasus, with a long pink mane. She retreated ever so slightly when she saw the group.
"Hello there Fluttershy," Twilight said. "What are you doing all the way out here?"
"…Oh, well," she began timidly, "…I was looking for Rainbow Dash- she was supposed to help me with something earlier."
"Wait, are you talking about that blue pegasus?" Ocho asked. "Because she and Hawkeye are racing right now- knowing him, he's probably still going." At that moment, as though on cue, a loud crack, like a thunderbolt, sounded somewhere in the distance. "Oh yeah, he's still going."
Fluttershy suddenly backed away when Ocho spoke. It took several moments for her to reply, "…oh, okay… I guess I'll have to do it by myself."
"What are you doing right now?" Twilight asked.
"I'm looking for ginger root- it's a good cure for stomachaches." She then noticed the herbs in Twilight's bag, a sudden look of realization dawning on her face. "That's right, you had Zecora get a bunch of herbs for you! Do you have any?" She smiled hopefully.
"Sorry, but I don't have any ginger root," Twilight apologized. "I didn't ask Zecora for any."
Fluttershy cast her eyes down. "Oh… that's okay then. I'll find some on my own…"
"Maybe we could help you," Ocho said. He then looked to Red and asked, "That would be okay, right Captain?" Red nodded.
"Yeah, maybe one of you could help her," Twilight said; she then looked over to the pegasus. "What do you think Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy said nothing in reply. A few moments passed before Ocho said, "Uh, Captain, I think you should go with the pegasus."
Red looked down at his comrade. "Are you sure?"
"Well look at her- she looks like she'd have a heart attack if I went anywhere near her." Indeed, Fluttershy was staring directly at Ocho from behind her mane, fear plainly evident in her eyes. "I'll stick with, uh…" He turned to Twilight. "Your name was Twilight, wasn't it?" She nodded- he turned back to Red. "Yeah, I'll stay with Twilight. Sorry to put you on the spot like this, Captain." Red did not reply. "Uh… I guess I'll see you later then." So, Twilight and Ocho continued onward, leaving Red and Fluttershy standing alone in the road.