Princess Luna is dead. Again.

by Equimorto

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Royal Guard, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony Comic, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 1161

After starting the day by raising the Sun, Celestia was sure that nothing could possibly ruin her day. Unfortunately for her, something had happened to her sister. She really thought Luna would have learned after the last time.

Princess Celestia was sure that the day was going to be great. The Sun shone bright in the sky, the birds were singing, and nothing could possibly go wrong. That was, until she received some rather grim news concerning her sister.

She thought she'd been clear enough about things last time.

Polish translation by Dolar84.
Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.
Audio reading by Pony&Wolf Productions.

Published 2018-10-22 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-22 20:30:01 UTC

We've been over this already

Princess Celestia chirpily walked out of her room. She had just finished raising the Sun over the land of Equestria, and she was sure the day ahead of her would be just as bright as the one she was giving to her citizens. The first thing that told her things weren't going to go as she'd planned was the face of the first guard she met outside.

His gaze held low, a sad expression on his face, he seemed to be mourning the loss of something very important. "Princess, I..." he began, his voice shaky, "I'm... terribly sorry," he finished, tears beginning to well in his eyes.

Celestia looked rather perplexed. "What is the matter?" she asked.

The guard stepped back, shocked. "You... you haven't been told... Oh, Princess, I'm-I'm terribly sorry that it had to-sorry, I didn't-I-I thought you'd been-Oh, Princess, I-"he dizzily stumbled back, a mortified expression on his face.

Celestia was about to inquire what was causing him to react in such a way, but she was stopped by the arrival of a second guard.

"Princess!" he said, "I am terribly sorry that we were unable to have you informed any sooner. The captain decided against waking you up during the night, even though I insisted that we should have interrupted your sleep for something so important. Although, I guess, seeing-" he stopped to nervously rub a hoof over his brow "-seeing as now-I mean, it doesn't matter whether you're told immediately and-I mean, the shock of such a news in the middle of the night-But no, we should have told-But-"

He was silenced by Celestia placing a hoof over his lips. "Calm down, please. Can you tell me what has happened?"

He looked up at her with a concerned expression. "Oh, Well, Princess, you see, I, well... Oh, no, I can't say it on my own! I'm sorry, Princess, I believe you will have to see for yourself, I..."

Celestia mildly cocked her head to the side, slightly frustrated. "Well, will you please take me to see this thing then?"

"Oh, o-of course, please come this way," he said, beginning to walk away.

Celestia followed him through the hallways and staircases of the castle, and all throughout the palace she met only sad looking ponies, most of them staring at the ground, some with tears in their eyes.

"We're almost there," the guard declared.

They were about to enter a hallway to their left when Twilight emerged in front of them, at the other end of the corridor they were walking down. She immediately ran towards Celestia, hugging her when she reached her. "I'm so so sorry, Princess. I came here as soon as I heard the news. I would have never thought something like this would happen, I'm just... I don't know what to say..."

Celestia returned the hug. "I thank you for your words," she warmly said, "although I'm afraid I have not yet been informed of what exactly happened."

Twilight jerked backwards with a gasp. "I-I thought-Oh, Princess, I-I would never-I thought-"

"Shh, calm down Twilight," Celestia said, placing the tip of her wing against Twilight's mouth.

Twilight nodded and remained silent, sobbing.

They walked into the corridor and entered a small room filled with dignitaries, all of them looking rather sad, although a few appeared to do so more out of necessity than out of honest grief. Except for Blueblood, who simply looked annoyed.

"I am terribly sorry for your loss," an old captain of the guard said to Celestia.

"We will all miss her dearly," a noble commented.

"I never really liked her," the Prince said.

The guard who had accompanied them in the room coughed and drew their attention. He was standing at the other end of the room, holding a door slightly opened, inviting them to enter. They followed him inside the room, and all the other ponies walked behind them.

In the middle of the room was a large opened coffin, flowers laying all around it and on the walls. The ponies behind Celestia walked into the room and positioned themselves in various locations, some near the walls and some close to the coffin, all silently mourning and waiting for the Princess to walk up to it.

Celestia did so. Inside the coffin, laying on her back, Princess Luna was still, her eyes closed.

A pony walked up to Celestia. "We found her like this in a corridor, underneath a broken chandelier. It must have fallen over her head. We checked her pulse and breathing, but it seems we found her too late. Nothing of what we did mattered, she was already dead when we arrived."

"I understand," Celestia said.

She walked closer to the body and raised a hoof to caress her sister's cheek. Then she slapped her.

The ponies near her gasped. Twilight gasped. The guards gasped. Luna gasped.

"Sister, do you consider that to be an acceptable way to wake somepony up?" the blue alicorn asked, lifting her head to look at Celestia.

The guards gasped. Twilight gasped. The rest of the ponies gasped. One of them fainted. Blueblood jumped out of the nearest window.

"But... But how?" Twilight finally asked, still shocked.

"You've been smashed against a mountain and walked away fine, do you really think a chandelier could kill Luna?" Celestia asked, looking back at Twilight. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to have a talk with my sister." She did not wait for ponies to walk out of the room, and instead teleported them all away.

"Luna," she sternly said, looking at her sister, "what did I tell you about dying?"

"That it's not something alicorns do." Luna frowned. "I still don't get it. Everypony else dies, what's so bad about me doing it every once in a while?"

Celestia rubbed her temple. "Luna, please. I explained to you already the political repercussions of faking your death. It's not something you can do. Now I'll have to explain to the whole nation that you aren't actually dead. I thought you'd learned after the last time, it's not like you can really blame those ponies for never thanking you if they thought you were dead."

Luna pouted, annoyed. "It's not fair! Tiberius does it all the time!"

Celestia grunted. "Tiberius is an opossum, Luna!"

"Well he's my opossum! If you can set yourself on fire like Philomena does then I don't see a reason for me not to play dead like he does!"

Celestia tried to think of an answer, then just closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. She then gave a sigh and began to walk away.

"Yeah, you see that I'm right!" Luna said with a smug grin.

The cover of her coffin was slammed shut over her head by a golden magical aura.

"Sister, get me out of here this instant! Sister! ...Sister?"

Celestia walked down the corridor, towards the throne room.

"SISTER!"