I Will Sell The Heck Out Of You Until You Give In!

by Milliardo5

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy, Adagio Dazzle, Equestria Girls
Length: 1946

A funny look at how Adagio tries sales

Adagio Dazzle, lead member of the group formerly known as The Dazzlings. Now she’s on her own, after the confrontation with Sunset and her humiliation before her former members. Now she has to make a living, and she figured it has to be what she does best...with unintended results, of course.

Published 2018-10-23 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-23 01:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Adagio Dazzle, lead member of the group formerly known as The Dazzlings. Now she’s on her own, after the confrontation with Sunset and her humiliation before her former members. She was still seething with rage over what happened, though she didn’t let that get her down. Of course not—she was Adagio Dazzle, and she will get anything she wanted.

That was going through her mind as she walked about Canterlot, looking for a job. She knew she needed one, now that she wasn’t going back to Canterlot High anymore. Not as a student, anyway. She still planned to sneak in every now and then, just to keep tabs on some people, especially Sunset and the Rainbooms.

She wandered about Canterlot, peering into windows of establishments to see if anyone was looking for someone to hire. She was getting despondent, which wasn’t like her, but then faced in such a situation even the most confident could feel the way she did. Still, she held her head high even such hard times.

“I will make it,” she muttered, not minding the people around her who looked at her in a weird way as she spoke to herself. “I am Adagio, and I know that I can do anything!” She walked on until she came upon an office that was hiring sales people.

“Finally!” she said in triumph, gleefully looking at the large tarpaulin sign that was placed on the office’s glass windows. She didn’t even give in to any doubts, but went straight in and immediately went to the front desk.

“I want to speak to the manager about that job posting over there,” she said as she pointed at the sign. It was typical Adagio—straight and to the point, not even given to little niceties. The receptionist, a pretty girl in her early 20s, gave her a warm smile.

“Why certainly,” the receptionist told her. “Just sit down there first and fill out this form.” She then gave Adagio the form and a pen. Adagio went to some chairs nearby and then began to fill it out. It just took her a few minutes to do that, and then went back to the receptionist to hand it back. She then went back to her seat and waited. Adagio wasn’t used to waiting, but in this case she had to, since she needed some type of job desperately. After a few minutes more of waiting, she got up and went back to the receptionist.

“So how long do I have to wait?” she demanded the receptionist. The receptionist’s smile disappeared a bit as she got flustered by Adagio’s demanding look.

“I…he will be out in a moment,” she stammered a bit as she tried to regain her composure. Adagio shook her head and just went back to her seat, impatient. She fidgeted as she waited for a few more minutes. The manager finally came out around 10 minutes later. He looked over at Adagio, then went to the receptionist area to get her filled out form, after which he went over to her.

“Hello there, I am Mr. Fullerton, the manager,” he said as he extended his hand out. Adagio stood up, a glare on her face though she at least shook his hand while still scowling at him. Mr. Fullerton noted that but decided not to say anything. “So, you’re here to apply as a sales agent,” he continued then.

“Yes, I saw your sign outside,” Adagio replied with a bit of an edge on her voice. She remained calm though, despite having waited a bit.

“Do you have any sales experience?” the manager asked her.

“I don’t have a formal sales experience, if you’re asking that,” Adagio answered him.

“Well, that’s unfortunate. What we really need…” but Mr. Fullerton was cut off before he could explain any further.

“Listen, I can convince anyone that what you have are the best! I have much experience in that!” Adagio snarled, her eyes fiercely locking onto his.

“I was about to say…” but again, he wasn’t able to continue as Adagio spoke some more.

“I know how to convince people! There are many ways to get people to listen! And you have to give me the chance to prove that to you!” Mr. Fullerton glanced helplessly at the receptionist, who just shrugged at the whole thing. He swallowed hard and forced himself to look back at Adagio.

“Yes…well, I’m sure your forceful personality will do very well for this job,” he said to her, though really he just wanted for it to be over and get her out as quickly as possible.

“I give my word that I will drive sales up before this day is over,” Adagio solemnly vowed to him. Mt. Fullerton sighed with relief. He then motioned for the receptionist to give her a bag along with some of the merchandise which she would be selling.

“These are what you would be selling,” he said as he showed her some cosmetic products. “You do know who is our target market,” he said, half questioningly and half in a worried way.

“I will make sure that all of these will be sold,” was all Adagio said. Mr. Fullerton again glanced at the receptionist, who again shrugged.

“Okay, I think you should get on with it then,” the manager said as he practically shoved Adagio out the door. Once out of the office, Adagio looked about as she held the bag. She put the straps about her shoulder and then walked off. At first she wasn’t sure where she’s exactly headed, but then she quickly figured out that she would have to just approach people and offer the products that she’s given. Without any training, that can be a daunting task, but Adagio knew that she could pull it off. Just then she saw a woman walking in her direction, and she smiled as she relished on her first sale of the day.

“Care to try on our new cosmetic package?” she asked the woman as she got near her. The woman smiled but didn’t say anything. She was about to pass Adagio by, but Adagio went directly in front of her before she could do so.

“It’s something you couldn’t resist,” Adagio said insistently. The woman still smiled, though she also wanted to move away from her at the same time. “You know you want this one,” Adagio continued to badger her on.

“I’m sorry, I’m on my way…” but she wasn’t able to finish what she said as Adagio cut her off.

“You will buy this now!” Adagio said, raising her voice. “It’s the best there is today! Imagine you wearing this as you take over the world!” Now the woman was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“It must be lovely, but really…” Adagio wasn’t finished with her though.

“Try it on! I know you’re going to love it!” she fished out a lipstick and thrust it to her. The woman hesitated, which made Adagio a bit more furious. “Well, go ahead and take it!” Trembling, the woman took it. Adagio gave a smile of triumph.

“I know you will see it my way,” she said, a bit more calmly now and flashing her smirky smile at the same time. But of course, that’s not for free as well…” A short moment later, she was off on her way with cash in hand, while leaving a stunned woman still in the middle of the sidewalk with the lipstick in her hand.

Presently Adagio saw a middle aged man walking towards her.

“Ah, this might prove to be a bit of a challenge,” she said softly, though she still smiled at the thought of offering something to him as she got closer.

“Would you like to try out our cosmetics?” she asked as he walked by.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have…” but as with the first one, Adagio didn’t let him finish what he had to say.

“I know it’s not the norm, but you will try it!” she insisted as she took out a powder kit. “Try this one—it will look good on you!” She proceeded to put powder on his face as he tried to back off. A short while later, the man’s face was white with it as he limply held the powder kit in his hand. Adagio went off, making another sale with it.

The rest of the day went on that way for Adagio, with her insisting and then getting her way with the people she met. She had sold out most of what she had as the day winded down, though of course most of those were more out of force than an actual sales pitch.

She was about to head back to the office when she came across a woman who looked tired from work. Adagio had one last product to sell, and she was determined to have it sold that day. She quickened her pace so she could reach to the woman faster. She knew that it might be a tough sell, but she was ready for it. She gave her sweetest Adagio smile, which was a mix of a smirk and a half smile really.

“Hello there,” Adagio sweetly greeted the lady. The woman gave her a tired, wry smile but didn’t speak to her. As what she did in her earlier encounters, Adagio planted herself directly in front of the woman’s path, effectively stopping her.

“Would you like to buy this lovely makeup kit that we have? It’s the last one for the day,” Adagio went on as she kept the woman from moving forward.

“No, really, I just want to get home…” the woman said in a tired voice. Adagio however was not to be denied her last sale.

“Look, I am as tired as you are! This is the last that I have, so you will take it!” she said, practically thrusting the kit into the woman’s face. The woman saw the wild look on Adagio’s eyes and nodded nervously, taking the kit and leaving quickly before anything else happened. Adagio smiled with satisfaction as she counted the money she made. She picked up the bag, which was now empty, and headed back to the office.

“Well, all of it went well,” Adagio announced as she entered the office. The manager was looking at her fiercely as she walked in.

“We’ve received a lot of complaints today!” he practically shouted at her. “You’ve ruined our business!”

“Hey, you didn’t tell me how I’m exactly going to get rid of them,” Adagio shot back.

“Just leave this office now!” the manager told her.

“Not before I get my pay,” Adagio demanded. The manager looked at her, dumbfounded. The receptionist just nodded her head nervously at him. The manager went to his office, and immediately returned with an envelope, which he then thrusted into Adagio’s hands.

“There, take it!” he said as he gave it to her. “And don’t bother coming back!” Adagio smiled wickedly as she opened it and counted the money given to her.

“It was nice doing business with you,” she said as she began walking out. “Maybe we can do business again,” she added with sarcasm and a smirk. As she walked away, the manager stomped with rage and anger as he could see their business going down. Adagio just walked off, the wicked grin still on her lips.

Author's Note

Well, this one also took longer than expected. Comedy isn't the easiest thing to write. That, and I've been depressed because of things not happening as expected. Now if only I could do it the way Adagio did...