Ex-King

by SleepyBear

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Main 6, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, King Sombra, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6415

God and his idea of fun

A man with a normal life is reborn as Sombra.

Published 2018-10-23 11:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-31 00:48:57 UTC

God's Plan - E

Frank Schatten was proud to say that he was perfectly normal. He had a steady job as a Full-Stack web developer and a great group of friends.

He was the supervisor of the developing team; He was a tall 6"2, average build man 190 pounds. He had a small cat called Xerxes, and for him, the cat was pure perfection, there was no more beautiful cat anywhere.

He had everything he wanted, but he also had a secret, and was his greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. He shuddered to think what his friends would say if he said: "I love, My Little Pony."

The morning had dawned as always. Or at least that's what he thought.

"Good morning, Xerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," said Frank, but as soon as he sought through his window, he realized something was off.

"Are you gonna pet me or not?" shouted Xerxes at him

"Sure..." replied Frank wait a sec

"Oh, damn it! the joke is over" shouted Xerxes

"What?!....how?!...you know what!? I have zero complaints about this, a talking cat is one of my dreams" said Frank with a huge smile

"O. M. ME....you are pathetic," said Xerxes

"Ok, so cats are assholes?...who cares?!, I still loved them!" shouted Frank

"First of all, I'm not a cat, and to put it mildly. I'm what every creature in the universe refers as, God" shouted God, with some fireworks behind him.

"So, why are you, cat?" asked Frank.

"Oh, for the love of me, shut up and follow me," shouted God.

Suddenly everything went dark. This place was unfamiliar, reminding him of space. He opened his mouth slightly, trying to make a sound. But nothing came out; it was as people said a library scream

Suddenly a flash of light blinded him. Frank stopped still, listening. It was God. he knew it was a dream—or at the least, he wished, all of this was a dream. He swallowed, preparing to ask a question.

"So, God, what do you want?" asked Frank

"Oh, well...What I want is simple, ENTERTAINING!" shouted God

"What?" asked Frank in disbelief

"Well, you see, being God is extremely boring, so I decided to have some fun...I mean, It's been a while since I made people believe 2012 was the end of the world" said God

"Ok, I still don't understand," replied Frank.

"Well, to be honest, you don't have too, you see I think, you may come to love this," said God (still in cat form) with a huge smile "Your new life is gonna start in Equestria! TADA!" God said doing some jazz hands

"What!. look I love the show and everything, but I have a life and friends" shouted Frank

"Hahahaha, cute, you think that you have an option," said God "Besides, I blow up your house..so there is no life or body to return"

"What?!" shouted Frank

"Well, enough of that. I have no time to waste!" replied God "You'll be reborn as a unicorn, don't worry you'll have the knowledge to fend yourself on that world, like, using magic, walking with hooves, reading and write, etc."

"But!?" shouted Frank.

"No buts!, and before I sent you off, you'll have some limitations, here is the list so you can familiarize with them," said God handing Frank a piece of paper

Rule 1 = You will not, be able to tell anyone you are an alien
Rule 2 = You will not be able to tell anyone your real name
Rule 3 = You will not be able to tell the ponies you had seen their future
Rule 4 = You will not be able to talk about anyone or anything that is on your native earth, but not on Equestria

"But don't worry, you get to keep your last name Mr.Schatten," said God (still in cat form) "Well, that was all the time we had for today, bye!"

FLASH OF LIGHT

He opened his eyes again and looked at his hands. Except they were not hands. They were hooves; his entire body was covered in grey fur. he also had a black mane and a black tale

"Ok, so where...Why is my voice so deep!?" running like a madman the pony stomped with an ice wall seeing his reflection "Oh for the love of...no!, YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU GOD!, of all the ponies you could pick!. You pick SOMBRA!" shouted Sombra

Snow-covered everything, glittering faintly under a new moon. Nothing broke the silence in the snowy plain except for the occasional soft rush of snow sliding from the branches of trees and the faint rasping of dried reeds when the wind swept through them.

"Next time, give some useful stuff, like a fucking GPS!" shouted Sombra "why can't I say GPS?!"

Flashback

"No buts!, and before I sent you off, you'll have some limitations, here is the list so you can familiarize with them," said God handing Frank a piece of paper

Rule 1 = You will not, be able to tell anyone you are an alien
Rule 2 = You will not be able to tell anyone your real name
Rule 3 = You will not be able to tell the ponies you had seen their future
Rule 4 = You will not be able to talk about anyone or anything that is on your native earth, but not on Equestria

"Shit...so let's try. My name is Frank Schatten" said Sombra "So, I can't say my first name. But I can say my last name? That is Sombra in German...Love your redundancy, GOD!"

TEN HOURS LATER

Snow still covered fucking everything, glittering faintly under the fucking moon. The silence in the snowy plain was driving Sombra crazy. He'd been walking for ten hours straight.

"Where the fuck am I?!" shouted Sombra "If your idea of entertaining was to kill me, then resurrect me, to watch me die in this fucking ice tundra, you coulda watch that on National Geographic you asshole!"

"Halt!, state your name and business with the Empire," said a Pegasus equipped with an armor

Fuck it! I rather die in jail with three meals a day!

"My name is Sombra, and I formally surrender" replied Sombra

The guards dashed across the castle, pushing Sombra, hurrying up towards the throne room, Sombra knew what was coming.

"Sombra!, You will pay for your crimes!" shouted Shining Armor

"He will, sweetie, but for now we will have to wait for aunty Celestia and Luna, to decide his punishment," said Cadence

"I plead guilty of everything, throw me into a dungeon, or something" said Sombra

"You think this is a game!. Yesterday you attacked the empire and now, you surrender peacefully!?" shouted Shining Armor staring at him

"Look, I'm super cold, starving, and exhausted. I don't want to fight or anything, ask your guards I surrender peacefully and without a fight" replied Sombra I'm too tired for this shit

"Throw him into a cell for unicorns!" ordered Shining Armor to the guards, "and I want the report of Sombra's capture."

"Oh fuck yes! a bed!" shouted Sombra entering his cell "Now if you excuse me gentlecolts!. I have a long-overdue sleep bill to pay"

with that Sombra closed his eyes, thinking what would happen tomorrow

God's Plan - Part Two - E

Sombra shivered. In his mind, he replayed yesterday’s events, God's glittering eyes, while sending him to Equestria, His Capture. The remaining sanity he had left, and the peace he found, when he got in bed in his cell.

But for him, there was another shadow troubling his mind: is what chapter of the series, he was currently in?. He shivered, as he thought of that. In the end, God was the one the fuck him, and there was no way of getting sweet revenge.

If what God said about rules was right, it was best if he played along while keeping his ass safe, of course, for he knew the future of Equestria, at least till season eight. But his presence could have fucked up everything, for all he knew.

"Well, it seems, I'm fucked in every possible way" shouted Sombra on his cell "But hey, my dick is bigger. I guess that's a plus"

He shook his head to clear it of these dark thoughts and turned to glance at the wall behind him. He heard a couple of guards coming his way while muttering to each other.

"Sombra!, the princesses have arrived to deliver your punishment!" shouted a Guard

"Hurray!, let's get this over with.." replied Sombra with an uninterested look

While the guards were rushing him towards the throne room, he heard them talk about the fact that the ponies that "capture" him were getting a promotion.

"Oh man, I'm so jealous," said the Pegasus Guard

"I know, getting a promotion and capturing Sombra" replied the Unicorn Guard.

"But I'm also so proud of them, and of us, we are the best of the best" shouted the Earth pony Guard "Equestria's royal guard!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Oh dear lord. That's hilarious" said Sombra laughing at the guards

"What's so funny!" shouted the Pegasus Guard in an Angry tone

"I mean, no offense guys. but the royal guard is about as useful as an ass-flavored lollipop" replied Sombra "Unless you are into eating ass, In which case, good for you"

"How dare you!" shouted the Pegasus trying to attack Sombra

"Relax, he's just trying to get into your head," said the Unicorn Guard stopping the Pegasus on tracks

"Yeah, now move the princess are waiting for you!" shouted the Earth pony Guard pushing Sombra

Throne Room-Crystal Empire

All of Sombra senses strained ahead to the throne. His eyes fixed on the three princesses in front of him, he also immediately notice the main six, staying close to the princesses, as he continued to creep onward. It was only when he was in front of them that Celestia decided to say something.

"Sombra, what's are you planning" asked Celestia in a majestic voice

"Ehmmm...nothing" replied Sombra with a poker face.

"YOU EXPECT US, TO BELIEVE THIS NONSENSE!" shouted Luna at Sombra

"I actually do" replied Sombra OMG! I talking with LUNA!, this is great!

"Then tell us, where did you hide the crystal heart!" shouted Twilight staring at him with

"Sure, is in that tower over there, FYI: It has a stupid amount of stairs" replied Sombra pointing the tower through a window

"What?!" shouted Twilight "Why are you being so cooperative!"

"Why not?, Look like I told Shining over there" pointed Sombra "I don't want to fight, so get the heart make a party or whatever" leaving Twilight and the girls looking at each other

"Guards!, go and confirm. If this criminal is telling is the truth!" shouted Shining to the guards with a severe tone

"Well, we still have to discuss the punishment for what you did to the Crystal Empire," said Cadence

"Indeed," replied Celestia, "Guards, take Sombra outside so that we can discuss this."

Cell - Empire Jail

After a couple of hours waiting for the royal decision, Sombra was utterly bored. with a sudden flash of light, a not so caring and loving God appeared in front of him

"You!" shouted Sombra in an angry tone

"Me!" replied God "So, I have one question. Why in the name of moi are you here, I wanted some action, drama, romance and maybe some fan-service but I still haven't polished the details for those"

"Oh, I'm sorry that I haven't given you the reality show you wanted" shouted Sombra "It's kinda hard, with this unyielding rage!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist" replied God "I don't want you to die..........again, all I want is for you to have some fun!"

"Well, too bad for you. I already gave myself in, so enjoy watching me, lose my marbles" said Sombra "Hey, maybe you could enjoy this, like that Netflix show. Orange is the new black, but instead, It'll be Black is the new black"

"Hilarious, it seems you haven't seemed, the flaw on your plan" replied God getting Sombra's attention "You see, this is not your world. Equestria is the second most "We'll forgive you" kinda place in the universe. The other one was a colossal mistake. I tell you. Karen of the development team had the great idea of creating this world of bears that hug each other for no reason at all."

"The Care Bear show?" asked Sombra

"Yeah, awful place. I have been meaning to bring the apocalypse there for quite a while. I wanna see them hug a fifty feet tall demon away!" replied God "stupid bears."

"Ok, good to know. But how in the fuck does that concern me?" shouted Sombra

"Oh sorry, yeah like I was saying. and let me explain this as simple as possible" replied God making a powerpoint diapositive appear in the middle of nowhere "Sombra shoulda been attacking the empire today, and getting killed by the crystal heart energy."

"Get to the point, moron" replied Sombra

"You changed the events of this timeline. and these ponies are prone to re-educate villains, and after your peaceful defeat" said God in a flamboyant tone

"Oh...no" replied Sombra

"Oh yes!, but hey don't be sad," said God patting Sombra's head, "everything is working out, for me."

"Oh, that's such a relief" replied Sombra with a poker face "well, It can't be that bad, I guess"

"Yuppy!, that's the spirit" shouted God, "not like you had any other choice, though."

"So, if everything that I been doing, is going accordingly to your plan, why the fuck are you here? also, why are you still a cat?" asked Sombra

"I have seen micro-organisms with more intelligence, ARGH. Again I'm God, and I do as I please," replied God.

"No shit, Sherlock. Like my current predicament was a democratic choice" said Sombra

"Well, anyway, I gotta go. Some bears need to be destroyed!" shouted God while disappearing "See ya later! and by the way, choose wisely or otherwise you'll have more visits."

The two guards that were frozen in time, thanks to God, Started to move again. Their pace barely slowed as they approached his cell.

"Sombra, the princesses await for you. They have come to a decision!" shouted the Pegagus Guard opening the door in Sombra's cell

"Sure, let's go" replied Sombra walking out his cell

They passed through the halls, going towards the throne room as soon as they got to the main door. Two different guards opened the door, while the Unicorn Guard that was escorting him to the throne room shouted for everyone to know. "Sombra has arrived!"

"Sombra, after a long discussion with my sister, Princess Cadence and the elements bearers, we have come to a decision," said Celestia in a majestic way

"We'll give you three choices!" shouted Luna staring at him.

Oh, shit. this is what!, that son of bitch meant by "Choose wisely"

"One = Imprisonment for all of eternity in Tartarus
Two = Imprisonment for fifty years in the Crystal Empire, but we will cut your horn
Three = Redemption, meaning you'll work all your life to pay for your sins."

"Well, uff... that's kinda hard," said Sombra "option three"

"Aren't you gonna think about it at least" replied Cadence looking at Sombra

"Not. Two of those options end up with me dead or old" answered Sombra "besides, as I said before. I don't wanna fight."

"Well, It seems it has been decided," said Celestia getting closer to Sombra."Although I'm curious about your recent change of behavior."

"Can't blame you, and by the way. where are the element bearers?" asked Sombra looking around the throne room

"Right now, they are setting up the Crystalling with the help of Shining Armor, So the crystal ponies can renew their hope and love, and break the curse you put on them a thousand years ago" replied Celestia pointing out the window Was....that Celestia using a bitchy tone?

"Good to know" replied Sombra looking through the windows

So community service for the rest of my life #goals

Author's Note

NEXT EPISODE "THE FUCK HAPPEN IN THE THRONE ROOM!"

Throne Room - E

As soon as Sombra left the room, the princesses began to debate, surprised that Sombra had surrendered so peacefully. This was not the Sombra of the books, The Sombra who enslaved the empire.

"He's plotting something!" exclaimed Shining Armor.

"I agree, Tartarus with him!" exclaimed Luna using the Royal voice of Canterlot.

"First, let's wait and see if the location of Crystal's heart, he gave us, is true," Celestia said calmly.

"I still do not understand, is this Sombra the king of the shadows? the conqueror, the cruel and monstrous king ?" asked Twilight

"I am surprised, maybe, A thousand years in confinement, made him see things from another point of view?" said Applejack, taking off her hat.

"I doubt it! Just give me five minutes with him," exclaimed Rainbow, ruffling her feathers.

"Everypony deserves a second chance. Besides, he didn't look so bad," Fluttershy said in an almost inaudible tone.

"I think we should lock him up, just look at this!" shouted Rarity, pointing to the ponies of the empire through the window, "They are ponies of Crystal! Crystal!".

"Mmmmm, Crystal ?, they kinda look like my family," said Pinkie, jumping from one side to the other.

"EXACTLY! They should not look like that!" exclaimed Rarity, "No offense Darling,"

"NO OFFENSE!?, NO OFFENSE!" exclaimed Pinkie, looking at Rarity.

"I'm sorry Darling, I-," said Rarity, trying to apologize, being interrupted by Pinkie.

"But I love, the, One Fantastic Free Engaging Nutritious Satisfactory Egg-Tarts = O.F.F.E.N.S.E." Pinkie said with a deflated mane.

"Oh, in that case, eat as much OFFENSE, as you want to love," Rarity replied.

After a couple of hours of debate, the guards returned with the crystal heart, everyone was surprised, Sombra didn't lie.

"It looks like we have to discuss what we're going to do now," Celestia said, pointing to Crystal's heart. "I know Sombra's crimes are unforgivable, but if there is the hope of redeeming him, he will become a powerful ally,"

"But it could also be our downfall, remember that it took our combined strengths to defeat him, and we had the elements of harmony back then," said Luna, looking at Celestia with eyes that said, do not give him a chance!.

"Sister, I can see something different in him, he no longer has, those eyes with a thirst for power that he had a thousand years ago," Celestia said, hugging her sister.

"Okay, but if something happens, I claim the pleasure of saying, I told you so!" exclaimed Luna with a smile,

"Twilight, Shining start the festivities, the ponies of the Empire need it," Celestia said handing a book to Twilight about the Crystalling and the crystal heart to Shining.

"Come on, girls, I'll need your help!" exclaimed Twilight, leaving the room with the girls "do not worry Princess Celestia, I will not disappoint you!"

"And what do I do with this?" Asked Shining, pointing to the heart, with a face of confusion.

"Go with Twilight; it's all in the book I gave your sister," Celestia replied

And with that Shining and the girls went to the city to plan a festival, to revive the memories and feelings of the ponies, while Celestia, Luna, and Cadence discussed how to handle the situation with Sombra.

Meanwhile- After the conversation with Sombra- God Realm

God was still in the shape of a cat, with a suit of armor and a sword full of rainbow blood, hundreds of dead bears at his feet, only one was left, Play-a-Lot Bear.

"Please, there must be another way!" Said Play-a-Lot Bear begging.

"No, I mean, seven thousand of you tried to hug me, while I killed them," God answered,

"I, I know what you need !, a friend!" said Play-a-Lot Bear approaching the cat to hug him.

"In retrospect, I should have killed Karen," said God, putting one paw on his face,

"See, now everything is better!" said Play-a-Lot Bear while hugging God.

"Yeah!, you and 99.98% of the bears died after using their most powerful technique, the hug!" Said God with a poker face destroying the last bear.

With a glow of light, God teleported to his office, Grabbing a control remote, turning on, his universal TV on, putting the Ex-King Channel, after a musical intro, the channel began to tell a summary of what happened.

A man caught in another dimension, after dying in an accident, in which God had nothing to do with it !, gets a second chance, given by the loving, unique, special and perfect God. With God as his only friend, Sombra will be happy!

In the previous chapter!, God and Sombra had a talk, that only the best kind of friends could have, and now knowing that his best friend supports him, Sombra is not afraid of anything!.

"Oh, I love suspense, and the relationship between God and Sombra is something sweet and special," said God purring, as he watched Karen glued to the wall.

"Sir, if you'll allow me to be honest, I do not think that the intro of that series is completely accurate," said Karen.

"Shut up Karen, that's why nobody invites you to parties!, First the Care Bears, now you are insulting my friendship with Sombra!, besides, The series only has small modifications, nothing extreme," said God, "Now shut up, I want to see what my BFF is doing"

Present

Sombra was waiting for the girls to return, Celestia told her, that when everyone arrived, she would get more instructions on how to proceed.

At that moment a message appeared from nowhere, the message from God to Sombra, as soon Sombra touched the scroll a video started.

A man caught in another dimension, after dying in an accident, in which God had nothing to do with it!, Gets a second chance, given by the loving, unique, special and perfect God. With God as his only friend, Shadow will be happy!

In the previous chapter!, God and Sombra had a talk, that only the best kind of friends could have, and now knowing that his best friend supports him, Sombra is not afraid of anything !.

Dear Sombra, this is the intro of the television series with only one viewer, aka me, aka the only one that matters, I think it shows well everything that has happened so far, see you soon God.

P. D: The bears no longer exist; today is a day to celebrate!

"What the fuck is this ?!" Sombra exclaimed, "No, you know what? I will not give him pleasure, breath, Sombra, breath!"

With that Sombra began to walk around the castle, being followed at all times by a couple of guards, upon arriving at the royal kitchen, Sombra started to prepare an enormously large sandwich.

"What are you doing!?" asked the Pegasus guard

"Does your brain go off with that helmet of yours or what?" replied Sombra, "a sandwich, what did you think?, that I was going to conquer the empire with mayonnaise of terror!? and the butter knife of damnation!?"

"Do you have to be an asshole?" asked the Unicorn guard.

"Yes, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, is a full-time job, but back to my business, I haven't eaten anything decent in about one thousand years, so goodbye," Sombra replied, beginning to eat his sandwich.

With that, Sombra began to think, where would he be sent? Would he stay in the empire ?, Ponyville ?, Canterlot? Or maybe the princesses had a different idea.

I guess I'll find out later when the girls get back. Sombra thought

Author's Note

Next Chapter

Reforming Sombra

Escape - E

After eating twelve sandwiches, Sombra was satisfied, so he decided to see how the festival was going, although Celestia forbade him to leave the castle, he was bored, and he did not want to wait for the girls while sitting and doing nothing.

So he decided to lie to the guards, telling them, that he would go to the bathroom, when the guards tried to follow him to the bathroom, he told them he was going to do the number two. The guards decided to wait for him outside the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom, Sombra took the opportunity and opened the window. With luck, he chose the bathroom on the first floor. Otherwise, escaping would be impossible.

"Ok, let's see how is this festival in person." whispered Sombra to himself

Once outside, with his escape being a success, Sombra decided to start walking through the empire, while remaining hidden, the last thing he wanted was to be pursued by thousands of ponies who hated him.

After walking for half an hour, Sombra noticed how the ponies changed little by little, he remembered, that in the show the same thing happened.

"I'd better return if the residents of the empire see me before the ceremony begins ..." At that moment, Sombra realized something; he remembered that in the show, Sombra died when the ceremony was completed.

"Oh hell no !, I forgot about that !. ok, ok, ok, ok, everything is fine." in panic, Sombra was thinking how to get out of the empire.

"Maybe nothing will happen to me, I do not think God...Flashbacks of god saying." I blow up your house and body." yes, I better get out of here."with that Sombra began to gallop as quickly as possible.

While galloping, Sombra heard a very peculiar scream, yet familiar. "SOMBRA !!! THY SHALL BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!"

"Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" galloping Sombra, went inside the first house he found, looking for anything to hide his appearance, Sombra decided to remove his armor and to use a curtain on himself as a disguise.

Once disguised, Sombra left the house, beginning to gallop with a destination, out of this shit.

While galloping, he remembered the trout of ice that awaited him outside, and without a map to guide himself.

"Ok, I need a map, but where?" At that moment Sombra saw a pony on a shelf that said, customer service. "How convenient.."

"Hey, excuse me, would you give me a map of those?" said Sombra, pointing to the maps.

"What maps?" the pony responded, Sombra remembered, that the ponies did not remember anything.

"Stupid collective amnesia." with that, Sombra grabbed a map and continued galloping.

Once at the border, Sombra saw about three hundred feet, two guards, deciding that it would be better to have a destination than to continue galloping like crazy, Sombra opened his map.

"Ok, let's see ... the closest places are Yakyakistan and Vanhoover, well, my decision is obvious, Yakyakistan is worse than dying in prison." with that Sombra decided to walk out across the border, he thought that if they saw him with his disguise, they would leave him for no problem.

"Halt, the princesses gave the order not to let anyone out." exclaimed the Pegasus guard.

"Oh, I understand, sir, but I have to pick up something important for the festival." Sombra tried to convince them with a lie.

"Orders are orders!, but now that I think about it, you look suspicious!" the Pegasus guard exclaimed, "Take off your robe!"

With that, Sombra decided to use brute force to get out, hitting the Pegasus with great power and throwing a beam of magic at the unicorn before he could react, knocking them both out.

"Why didn't I open with that?, I knew I was gonna do it." Sombra muttered to himself while galloping out of the empire.

Meanwhile, in the castle. Celestia and Luna were arguing, while Shining organized a search patrol.

"I told you! He was waiting for the moment to escape! And betray us." exclaimed Luna looking at her sister.

"I do not understand, why did he gave himself up? Why did he give us the crystal heart? if he was going to escape." Celestia said, looking at Luna.

"It does not matter! We gave him the opportunity to pay for his sins, and he spit on us, now he will feel our FURY!" exclaimed Luna.

"Princesses, I'm going to guide a search in the empire, Twilight and the girls will continue with the festival," Shining said, looking at the princesses.

"Good, if you get any information about Sombra, notify us immediately," said Celestia

Two hours later, Sombra was on his way to Vanhoover; if he managed to get there without anyone stopping him, he could hide forever, no one besides the princesses, Shining, the main six and the entire empire knew how he looked.

"Ok ... if this map is correct, I should get to Vanhoover tomorrow." said Sombra, trembling from the cold.

God wants to Facetime with you

"What in the?" exclaimed Sombra.

"Hey, how are you, I love the development you've taken !, it's beautiful !, so beautiful that I've decided to give you a gift !, Yes, I know, I'm the best of the best," said God via the call.

New Gift Acquired - GPS EQUESTRIA Version by God Enterprises.

"I usually hate you, I mean, I still hate you, but thanks for the gift." replied Sombra "And exactly how does it work?"

"Well my dear Neanderthal!, it's simple, you just look at a map, your mind memorizes it, and with magic you'll always know where you are!, The spell is already, in your mind, well I gotta go, it's time for brunch" said God ending the call.

After being five minutes thinking about what happened, Sombra decided to try his new superpower.

"GPS ACTIVATE ?, God said that I should look at a map so that my mind memorizes it." with that Sombra began to look at his map and within seconds, a light shone for a second.

"Hahaha, I did it, now let's see where am I." with that Sombra concentrated on seeing his location and at that moment he heard a voice on his mind, Vanhoover distance two hundred miles, please make a U-TURN..now!.

"What !, but according to the map I should ... I've been heading to Yakyakistan... SHIT!" exclaimed Sombra

With that Sombra, began to turn around, with now a GPS on his mind, in the direction to Vanhoover, while he hated himself for not having taken the right path in the first place.

Meanwhile, in the castle, Shining had just arrived. Luna, Celestia, and Cadence were arguing and trying to figure out what plans Sombra had.

"Princesses, two guards on the northern border were knocked out, the guards are fine, but they said that the pony that attacked them didn't look like Sombra, it had no armor, only a tunic," exclaimed Shining.

"You see, not a day has passed, and he's already attacking us," exclaimed Luna looking at her sister.

"Most likely he is planning to stop the festival, we must protect the crystal heart!" said Shining "I already have a platoon around the crystal heart!"

"Probably, in an hour, the crystalling will be completed; meanwhile, we will not move from here, later we will take care of Sombra!" Celestia said calmly.

Author's Note

The princesses are mad, Sombra's dick is almost a Popsicle right now, and Pinkie is eating a lot of OFFENSE. FIND out what happens in the next chapter

Vanhoover here I go!, maybe not.. - E

Twelve hours passed, Sombra decided to go to the train station to shorten his trip. The princesses were alert during all that time, waiting for Sombra to attack, but he never showed up.

"I think he's not coming," Celestia said with tired eyes.

"What is he planning?. I don't understand," muttered Luna, letting out to yawn.

"This must be his plan, that must be his plan, he's trying to tired us, and then attack!" exclaimed Shining, struggling against his tired body.

"Then, he's up for a surprise! You will not defeat us, Sombra!" exclaimed Luna, in a battle pose.

Meanwhile, on the train to Vanhoover, Sombra was in one of the train cabins. With a glass of wine, eating bread with a variety of cheeses, with classical music in the background.

"How lucky am I? for some reason, somepony could not leave today, and they gave me their ticket, and it was a first-class ticket!" exclaimed Sombra as he poured himself another glass of wine.

"Do you want something anything else, sir?" asked the train butler Sebastian.

"If you're so kind as to bring a couple of desserts, I'd be happy," Sombra replied with a smile.

"As you wish, I'll be back," with that Sebastian left the train cabin.

While he was eating, Sombra heard that the next stop was in thirty minutes.

"Next stop, Vanhoover."

"Thirty minutes, I think it gives enough time, to eat the desserts Sebastian is bringing," whispered Sombra to himself.

"Sir, I brought you the three best desserts, on the train, a chocolate shuffle, a Fortress Stilt Fisherman Indulgence, and an apple pie," Sebastian said as he levitated desserts to the table.

"Thanks Sebastian, now, if you'll excuse me, I have thirty minutes to finish this, so there's no time to waste!" exclaimed Sombra, as he began to demolish, the desserts on his table.

After twenty-eight minutes of dessert annihilation, the train stopped at the Vanhoover station.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Sebastian." Sombra started to get up to leave, but Sebastian stopped him.

"Sir, you forgot to pay the bill," Sebastian said, handing him the bill.

6 Wines 20000 Bits.
1 Cheeses 1000 Bits.
1 Fortress Stilt Fisherman Indulgence 15000 Bits.
1 Chocolate Shuffle 2500 Bits.
1 Apple Pie 750 Bits.
4 Deluxe Hay-Burgers 2500 bits

Butler service/tip 10500 Bits

Total 52,250 Bits.

"Oh, of course, allow me to look for my wallet in my suitcase, wait for me here. I'll be right back." Sombra replied calmly.

"As you wish, sir," Sebastian began to clean up the area.

As soon as Sombra managed to get out of Sebastian's field of vision, he galloped as fast as he could.

"52,250 BITS !, If I take as reference what I've seen in the series, that's more than I would do in four years working on a farm!" exclaimed Sombra as he galloped.

"Stop that pony! It's a thief!" exclaimed Sebastian, pointing to Sombra.

"Fuck you, Sebastian! Fifty-two thousand two hundred fifty bits my flank!" shouted Sombra, "Eat my Flank! Sebastian!."

Sombra had escaped, Sebastian and train staff chased him to Vanhoover, this achievement to hide, but this incident had ruined his plan to hide in Vanhoover.

"Alright, relax... there is no way the harmony thugs will hear about this, I still have time to escape this city" muttered Sombra to himself behind a dumpster, hiding from the police and the angry train staff.

He started thinking how to escape, teleportation was an option, but it only worked with places he had already been, and he didn't want to go back to the crystal empire, maybe transformation magic, Sombra only had one spell in transformation magic, and it was to transform into shadows.

'It's worth a shot at the very least...' thought Sombra casting the spell, turning his entire body into shadows.

Meanwhile, God was eating popcorn while enjoying Sombra's bad luck, everything was going according to the grand plan, the bears where dead, Sombra was something it would entertain him for a while, and Karen was demoted to the lady that cleans his cat litter.

"Oh, this is fantastic! It's just superb!" said God still in cat form, "I wonder how long would take before the ponies capture him. I can't wait!"

Sombra had escaped from Vanhoover, but unfortunately, hundreds of ponies had seen the cloud of shadows leaving the city, and the first thing they did was call the royal guard who communicated with the princesses.

"It seems Sombra was in Vanhoover," said Celestia with a concerned look on her face.

"We have to move sister! we have to eliminate this fiend!" shouted Luna while putting her battle armor.

"I'll go with you two princesses, I have a score to settle with him," said Shining Armor with determination.

"We need the elements with us if Sombra has a plan it must be the evilest plan ever, he's clearly playing with us," said Celestia with a sad expression, "I still can't understand, I didn't see the same Sombra on his eyes!."

"Who knows what his master plan is, but! We will stop him!" shouted Luna hugging her sister with a wing, "Huzzah! FOR HONOR AND GLORY!"

Meanwhile, outside a small town, there was Sombraa, sitting next to a tree, eating a grapefruit that he found along the way.

"Ok, I have no idea what to do... I have no plan whatsoever," said Sombra, "Everyone wants a piece of my flank and not in a good way..."

While Sombra was thinking what to do, a creature approached him, touching him. This caused Sombra to jump out of fear, turning around to see what touched him, he started to mentally beg for the mysterious creature to not be a spider, turning around he saw someone he knew, or the be precise someone he recognized, it was Tirek.

“I knew you I recognize you from somewhere, Oh great King Sombra,” Tirek said bowing to him with a smile, Tirek looked super thin and old, he looked like a raisin with intelligence.

'Really... so I'm the idiot he will try to manipulate?.' Sombra thought.

"I have a proposition for you, if we work together we could rule this land!." said Tirek with an evil smile. "I just need your help to absorb the magic of everypony.."

"And after you get strong enough you'll get my magic..." commented Sombra, "Yeah ill have to pass, but I will help your ass back to Tartarus, how does that sound?"

Tirek tried to run away and succeeded to get twenty steps away just to be knocked out by a stone that Sombre grabbed with his magic and threw at him. “That was sad on many levels,”

'Well, that's one major villain down...' thought Sombra levitating the centaur with his magic.

Author's Note

Next chapter!!

“Hold your tits, I didn’t do anything!

That’s one of the lines.