Lost and Alone.

by One with the Shadows

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Equestria Girls, Principal Celestia, Tragedy, Profanity, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Vice-Principal Luna
Length: 2845

Lost, alone and a sister who ignores her, Luna struggles to cope in school.

Luna struggles in school. She never used to, atleast until the secret broke out. Her mother being the principle of her school. Celestia was too popular to care about her and others questioned the younger sisters true ability. Her natural social awkwardness and her inner geek prevented her from making friends. This left her alone, with few to turn to, even to talk, she faced bullies and fell into depression. The nurse did not believe her, her mother and sister were too distant, all she could do was sink lower and lower until she could go no further.

I understand that this is a more sensative topic and the final chapter will have a long authors note as to why I have written this.

Published 2018-10-29 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-29 18:40:02 UTC

Fate

Monday. The worst of the days. Starting out the week is always the worst for Luna, all she wishes for is to be left alone, yet, she doesn't get that luxury. Torment is what she gets instead. A socially awkward teenager who seems a little insecure with no-one to reach out to? Prime target. She couldn't do anything about it. Things were better, once. Before it became known that her mother was the principle of the school. Celestia basked in the popularity that she already had and gained more with few questions asked. Luna was left in the dark, the few 'friends' she had left her, questioning her abilities as a student. Hopefully, nothing too bad will happen.

Her mother stopped the car and allowed her daughters to get out. No words were exchanged during this, as always. The two go in their seperate ways. Celestia meets with some friends up ahead. Luna pulls out her walkman and listens to some music. Soon enough, Luna reached the schools entrance and at that moment, she was noticed. She put away her walkman as not to damage it and ignored the oncoming insults. It was the same as always, 'Gloomy Moony' , 'Lonely Freak'. They were never creative and were so easy to ignore. Then someone grabbed her arm...

She was spun around to see one of her bullies ugly mugs. She remained expressionless though, showing no reaction. "I thought that you would've learned to respect your superiors Moony." She left no response and pulled her arm from the grip, turned back around and continued her walk. That was the weakest of the bunch, she was lucky that she could get out of that. More words were thrown at her but she decided not to listen. Probably her best decision, one that she always made.

The building itself was nothing special. Lockers lined almost all of the walls, hers was in a corner that few others went to. A place to escape her life for a short while. The colour of the walls was a creamy colour that clearly had not been painted for years, even peeling off in some places. Bins were placed fairly regularly around the school, with the anti littering policy, this made perfect sense and it worked. There wasn't much in her locker but it was enough. A tall thin green locker with a padlock on the door. Inside were a pile of books and a copy of her timetable hung in the back. In her bag was more books with completed homework inside and her lunch that she made every morning. A plain sandwich with a filling of ham, a banana, apple and satsuma. She had a double period of History. That lesson was one of her better ones, she still had knowledge and did well in essays and tests and thats what counts.

The lesson passed by without too much happening, no real bother ever came her way in History, and her teacher, Mr Lovejoy was kind to everyone, but keeping a close eye on her. He knew what she suffers with in school but cant do much other than care for her safety. "Luna, could you stay behind for me please" Mr Lovejoy asked. luna nodded as the bell rang. He spoke Scottish English, it was soothing to hear infact. "I saw what happened to you out there, you pulled away well, but I want to know if your truly okay, is it affecting you at all mentally?" He spoke to Luna as she approached.

"I'm fine, I have spoken to the counsellers and they say I'm fine" Luna knew that the counsellers were useless and never believed students actually did have mental issues, insted just saying its all due to stress.

"Okay, but you and I both know how truly shit they are, I'm asking if you yourself are okay, not what some shoddy counsellers think."

"I am fine, I know I am, They don't get to my head."

"If your sure, you can go, enjoy break."
Luna nodded and left, she hated to give a lie of any description but she had to. They did get to her head and certain thoughts have crossed her mind but they never got beyond small thoughts at particularly bad times.

Break was fine, nothing happened and the same with Biology and English. Maybe things would turn out okay today, for once in her life. That's when lunch hit her. She ate her food in the canteen. Painted yet again with the cheap creamy paint. Tables were scattered around with chairs, Luna sat alone like normal, another prime time to get at her. She found out that she had thought too soon as Cole approached her table. He was a tall man that was very fit and strong, or he appeared so anyway. He was on top of all of the bullies and really made use of them, Luna was his personal target as it seemed. Looks like she would come hoem with yet another bruise, she guessed correctly as her head was smashed against the table five times, one final blow was an elbow to her back. He left again without a word, heading to her sisters table. She envied her sister, so much popularity, all she got was loneliness and bullies covering her at her lowest moments. Those thoughts came back to her mind, to get home and take out that box and finish off the day with a final slumber. Luna shook the ideas from her head and continued to eat.

Luna finished her lunch and headed to the counsellers again, one final time, just to see if they could help or would be shit as usual. "Oh, its you again, look, your just stressed from workload, spend a night away from the work and then see if you feel the same, I garuntee it will be all okay again. Just go, I've told you what you need to do already." With that, Luna left again to retrieve her items for the final two periods of Private Study.

It started okay, Luna had written in her diary about the events of the day again. The past month had been depressing, the month before was better but still bad. When she opened up her Biology book to prepare for the exam at the end of the week. Her pen was taken from her and thrown across the large room. "Woops, go get it you runt." she got up and picked up the pen, turned around to see all of her books on the floor and paper scattered. A single tear broke free and rolled down her face. Luna prevented more from escaping but it was hard to do. Picking up her books and paper, she was pushed over her char as she was about to sit down. This will never end will it? Pulling herself back up off of the floor, she grabbed her stuff and left the room. Moving to another , she sat down and got on. No-one was in here, her head hit the table and the waterworks started. She felt others looking at her but she didn't care. She could feel some empathy directed at her by some but ignored it. She was a misery and there was no denying it. This continued until for the next thirty minutes when the bell rang again. Signifying the end of the day.

Luna gathered all of her books, emptying her locker of everything and left the building later than others intentionally. she wanted to avoid further conflict and knew how to while leaving. She had two options, wait for her mother to finish work and get Celestia from her club, or walk the two miles home. She wanted nothing more than to get home and recover herself from the events of the day. It would only take forty five minutes to walk, one hour to even leave if she waited. This process was done everyday by her, depending on the events of the day. Pulling out her walkman, she started to walk...

Thirty two minutes had passed when a car rolled up, with the windows down, water balloons were thrown at her and the final one being filled with ink. Luna was soaked and her clothes were ruined, the cold soon started to bite at her, the cold November starting to catch up with her. She ran as the laughs flew at her. "See you later Gloomy, try not to die first though, we have more planned and want to finish it properly!" Luna could only cry as she ran back to the house.

A watery solution of ink was left on the door handle as Luna got inside to warm up and get changed. She did this quickly, drying off and slipping into new clothes, She left the inky ones to soak in warm, soapy water. She grabbed her Game Boy and started to play something to pass time and lose herself to stop thinking about today. Those thoughts were so strong, anything more today could push her over the line and make her do something that she did not want to do, but may do in sadness and desperation to escape this endless nightmare. The game took over her mind until Celestia returned.

Celestia opened the door looking puzzled at the handle that was covered in ink. "Luna, what is this about? Why is there ink on the handle?"

"Bullies, thats what." Luna's reply was simple while making a point.

"Maybe you should brighten your attitude and make some friends"

"And become like you? Little miss popular." Luna was getting irritated.

"It gets me away from the ideal target for bullies, atleast I actually do have friends to talk to and hang around with."
This had now pushed Luna over her limit, she burst into tears and ran off down the hall, Celestia was none the wiser to what she had just said until it was too late.

Luna stood in her room and opened the little wooden box. Inside was strong alcohol and sleeping tablets, paper and a pen. Luna pulled out her diary from her bag, she added some more to her entry and left it unlocked. She made a note and left it on her bed with her diary and bag. She took in all of the alcohol, which there was only enough for ten shots and finished with the sleeping pills to overdose. Her vision faded to black as she fell to her bedroom floor. This was it. No more pain. No more torment. Just peace.

Celestial Regrets

Celestia got out of her mothers car and waved her off back to work. She came to the door to find ink on the door handle. This concerned her and she opened the door while avoiding the ink. Staring at the watery solution, she looked over to Luna who was playing on her Game Boy on the sofa. Splodges of ink were in various spots around the room leading into the bathroom. "Luna what is this about? Why is there ink on the handle?"

Luna's reply was "Bullies, thats what."

"Maybe you should brighten up your attitude and make some friends."

"And become like you? Little miss popular." Luna said with clear irritation in her voice.
Celestia wanted nothing more than to end this conversation and make her point clear.

"It gets me away from the ideal target for bullies, atleast I actually do have friends to talk to and hang around with."
Luna looked over at her for a second, a tear starting to form in her eye. Then she ran off down the hall with a burst of tears.
It took a moment for Celestia to twig at what she just said. Oh shit. She decided to let her sister cool off for a few minutes, or atleast to stop crying for a while.

An hour later and the crying stopped, Celestia waited to hear Luna open her door to possibly get a drink or something or just to talk. Nothing. 5 minutes and still nothing. Celestia was worried, so she went to check. Knock Knock Knock "Luna, are you okay? Do you want to talk?" Nothing "Luna, I'm sorry, please let me speak to you, I didn't mean what I said" Still nothing. Celestia pushed the door open, the room was dark and too quiet. "Luna this isn't funny anymore, if you wanted to get back at me you win, please just talk to me." Celestia walked around the bed. She gasped when she saw Luna on the floor, some bottles of tablets around her were empty and a bottle of alcohol. "Oh my God! LUNA!" Celestia ran over to her, she wasnt breathing, there was a very slow heart beat. Celestia ran to get the phone and rang 999. She said everything she knew and paramedics were sent out to help quickly. Celestia did what she was told to do, she began CPR. Thankfully she knew how to do it well with rescue breaths.

The paramedics arrived two minutes later and took over from Celestia. She rang her mother who panicked over the phone and rushed home as fast as she could. When she returned to Luna, the paramedics were not doing anything, equipment had been placed down and used but all moved away again. "What are you doing?" Celestia asked panicking.
"Time of Death, 5:24 PM, her heart stopped beating and to no avail would not start again with the maximum number of shocks registered, death caused by overdose via alcohol and sleeping tablets. Intent of suicide."
"No" Celestia whispered, tears starting to roll down her face.

Mother arrived after ten minutes and got inside quickly, she ran over to the crying Celestia and held her close, seeing Luna limp on the floor in her room. They both cried, noticing a note on the bed. It read:

Dear Mum and Celestia,
I'm sorry but it has come to this, I have killed myself to stop the pain in my life, I feel unloved and uncared for, I have no friends and am bullied constantly at school because of my natural awkwardness and geekiness. I couldn't take it anymore, coming home too often with scars and bruises and no help from you, the school or its especially useless counsellers who offered no help no matter how many times I asked. I felt ignored at home and I was pushed over the limit today for the final time. i'm sorry but I do not belong here anymore, not even on this world.
-Luna

The waterworks sped up for both Celestia and her Mum. This is my fault, I pushed her to the final step with one comment, I'm so stupid, why couldn't I tell the signs?."Don't beat yourself up about it, many factors lead to this and we are both to blame for not listening" Mother looked down at Luna, sorrow in her eyes, "I wish I could just turn back time and change this mess."

"We all do." Celestia replied.

"We all do."

Breaking News! Student commits suicide in local area, Luna declared dead last night.

The headline appauled the principle, but she strove for change. New policies for bullying were put in place and cameras placed to cover the entire school to find any form of bullying and stop it. She gathered all of the bullies stated in her daughters diary and they were all arrested for causing the suicide. Things were going to change, a plaque was placed on the wall near the main door with a picture of Luna. It said 'In Memory of a Good Student, Drawn to suicide to escape her Torment that was her life, may she Rest in Peace and be Remembered.' Students all saw this and wished they could have changed it, saved her from this fate, but it was too late now. Now things had to change, to help those in need.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading this story. As I said in the description, I would have a rather large Authors note.
This story was something I wanted to write that wouldn't be too long adn puts a point across. To help those who suffer from bullying and depression, listen to what they have to say and help them. This story does relate to me in some ways, I did suffer from mild depression adn still have some traces of it, I spoke to no one about it and thoughts of suicide did come to mind to end it all, but I did have some friends to tlak to and soon enough pulled myself back up. This story, however shows the consequences of such actions and the consequences of bullying as stories like this do crop up quite alot. Please, talk to someone if you feel like this or are getting bullied. Seek help, and if you know someone who shows signs of depresison, talk to them and possibly get some help. Thank you.