Celestial

2/12/08

I woke up like any morning to the sound of my alarm’s shrill beeping snapping me out of sleep greeting me to another miserable day on earth. I reached for the alarm clock hitting the snooze button before rolling over and trying to go back to sleep, I did find sleep but woke up quickly after realizing I was nearly an hour late. I threw the covers off of my body exposing it to the cold air inside the house I must have forgot to turn the heat on last night I jumped from the bed and ran over to the closet quickly grabbing my usual outfit and quickly getting dressed and walking out the door forgetting to lock it and hopping into my grey 2003 Camry and started it ripping out of my driveway and tearing down the street nearly hitting my mailbox as I did so. I sped down the street running the stop sign luckily there was no police officer like normal so I was able to get away with it this time. I turned onto the road next to the school hearing the sound of tires squealing and a long horn, I looked in the mirror and saw a red 1989 F250 with mud covering the front fender and bumper and several dents on the sides and a broken headlight not busted just not working at least that’s what it looked like. I pulled into the schools parking lot and got out locking my car door behind me and walking into the large brick building that was the school. I entered my office and sat down at my desk opening the computer. I typed my password into the space next to a photo of me smiling the same smile I’ve been faking for three years, it had been a hard few years since my dad died all I had left was my sister Luna but now we only really interact at work and didn’t talk much. We used to be the best of friends now all I can do is just look back on memories but even then my smile would fade when I was brought back to this grim reality of being stuck in this job as a principal. Not that I didn’t like my job but, it was annoying to say the least.

I did enjoy helping students but at times I would be called to breakup fights and console students who were upset this was the most annoying part of the job, I often had to file paperwork and stuff like that so I was on the computer most of the day not moving around a lot yet I was quite thin, though it was because I didn’t eat much never felt right eating a lot at once. it was now 8:30 AM and all I could hear from my office near the front door was the sound of a loaded coal train passing the weight making the tracks groan loudly since the school was right next to the tracks, while the groaning was muffled it still gave me a headache. I rubbed my temples before reaching in my desk and grabbing a bottle of Advil and taking one before going back to typing on my computer assembling the report cards for the 9th grade students at this point it was nearly 2:30 PM and almost time for me to get off of work so far today had been uneventful accept I had to break up a fight between two students they both got suspended and I went back to work.

I was about to leave early I had told Luna to take over since I wasn’t feeling well, the truth was I was contemplating suicide when I got home I was gonna down an entire bottle of pills and vodka and to make sure I died I was gonna slit my wrists putting deep cuts into them to ensure that I would quickly bleed out but beforehand i was gonna write my suicide note and leave it on the kitchen table. I had been planning this for months and I was now ready I pulled my car into the driveway and got out walking into my house throwing my purse onto the couch and walking to my bathroom and opening the mirror grabbing the pill bottle shutting the mirror I saw tears streaming down my face as I left and walked into the kitchen finding the bottle of vodka I had saved for times like this. I hesitated as I took the cap off sitting the bottle down and walking into my room and laying down in bed kicking my shoes off and rolling onto my side falling asleep.

I woke up at 6:35 PM still kinda tired the thoughts of suicide having faded from my mind, I got up from the bed and put on my shoes I walked into my living room and grabbed my purse walking outside I locked the door behind me and walked to my car climbing in and started it up driving off. I pulled down one of the streets into a coffee shop near one of the commuter stations a freight train sitting in front of the platform the first of four engines parked just beyond the platform sitting in idle painted a dark green the front headlights shining brightly in the dark. I walked into the shop and saw few people just the women at the counter and a fairly large man who turned to look at me before returning to his coffee I don’t know why but I felt kinda threatened by him he seemed to be dangerous the fact he had a piece of his ear missing and a large scar next to his right eye didn’t help. Instead of ordering coffee I just sat down in a table across from his booth and let out a long sigh, I could feel him watching me from the corner of his eye. I noticed a large pistol strapped to his side felt even more uncomfortable I would have gotten up and told the lady about it but he got up and walked over to me saying in a deep southern voice

“Alright you seem troubled whats wrong?”