“Guards!” The Storm King shouted when he finished changing the month of July to late August. “Hurry over here and take these ponies to be executed!”
He flared his arms open wide and a bolt of lightning shot behind him, menacingly. Twilight watched as her five closest pony friends were surrounded by guards suddenly out of the aether because they seem to do that a lot. With little active dissonance, the mares were hauled away, only vague mumbles of petty revenge and refusal to make a cake.
“No, not them, not my friends!” Twilight shouted as she watched them be carried away like sacks of potatoes, only more colorful but still as generally useless at the moment this movie had started. She turned and pleaded with tear stained cheeks to the Storm King. “Please, don’t hurt them. Take me instead, I’m the one who caused you all the trouble so far. Just-”
Tempest stomped her forehooves onto the ground, stopping Twilight. “Enough, quiet, fool. I speak for the Storm King when I say-”
“Silence, fool! I am the Storm King and I speak for myself. And I say you’re both to be executed, as soon as you see me bring it around town. Yeah, baby! Whoop.” The clouds swirled and followed his thrusting actions behind him and out of his notice, but Tempest didn't care.
Tempest balked at the satyr. “B-but, you said you’d give me back my horn.”
A deep and menacing chuckle rumbled in the Storm King’s throat. “I lied. Boom yah! Guards, take them to be executed!”
Four guards lowered razor sharp spears at the mares, who flinched at suddenly being surrounded. Tempest growled at him, “You promised me, we had a deal!”
“Yeah, blah blah. Same stuff, different day. I’m not in the market for sharing profits, and your little nub are a danger to the bottom line,” he tapped the glowing crystal to her horn and she screamed in pain, electricity dancing across her body. She fell to the floor panting heavily. “Oh yeah,” he whined, “I gave you that armor. Welp,” he stood tall and pointed his scepter past the princesses who were too stoned to be of any real help, like that guy that crashed on my couch for a week that one time, to a side door the mares were to be taken through.
The creatures loomed over Twilight and Tempest, urging them to lead the way to their own doom. One of the guards held chained shackles up and got knocked on the crown of his head, they all exchanged grunts and muffled shouts until the Storm King struck the base of his scepter on the balcony edge.
Quickly as they could, the four large guards formed a line behind the mares and marched them toward their doom. Twilight looked at Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence as she passed them, a few tears dripping as she passed them and then looked at her hooves while looking at her reflection in the floor.
The reflection she saw was hers, as she’d seen it at least a few hundred times before in the same room. She looked at the windows that cast colorful shadows, she still marveled at how they shone even in the stormy weather. It was then she heard the sound of hooves scraping for grip on the marble floor from behind her. She looked back, expecting to see anypony she knew, but the tip of a spear in her face stopped her thoughts and she snapped her head back ahead.
The guards split into two pairs and while two blocked the path beyond the door on their side the mares were led through the threshold into the hall of memories; stained glass that told stories of ages past through to the present glowed with enchantments that would make the material last longer than the castle in age and durability.
She passed the stories told of the world when the Princesses rose to alicornhood, the defeat of Discord, the ascension of Twilight and her friends, their combined power having toppled gods; now there she was, walking to her own death with a mare she didn’t know beside her. She looked askance to Tempest and then looked at her fully, the mare had softened her expression and looked like a sad mare, one that lost something she cared deeply about; not the mare of war she was mere minutes before.
Their eyes met and a simple smile crossed Tempest’s mouth. “You know, Princess Twilight, I heard about your ascension and was tempted to take my vacation day to see your coronation. I earned two days a year and to give one of them up for the new princess was worth it,” she scoffed and stomped the carpeted floor during her paces, “but there was a lead on some weapon that might have been helpful to His cause.”
“Don’t feel bad, Tempest, there’s no way you could’ve known he’d be evil and turn on you in the moment you needed him,” she giggled and sniffled, “right?”
They both enjoyed the relative silence for three seconds, then burst into laughter and bumped their shoulders together, staying close. “You know what, Princess, I wish I’d taken you up on your offer of friendship when you offered it. There’s enough in my head as far as tactics and where the money goes to bring His empire to its knees, then I’d buck him like crazy!”
The precession stopped and all eyes were on Tempest, who looked around, then blushed brightly enough to show through her coat. “I didn’t mean like that! Guh, just kill me now, please,” she lay her chest on the floor and covered her head with her hooves. “Then bury me under a rock… me and my slippery tongue.”
The hall echoed with laughter, Twilight quickly realized that the laughter from the guards was very feminine and through her eyes, blushing cheeks, and jovial grin, she looked at one of the guards closely.
“Hey, Twi?!” A cheerful voice squeaked from behind her. When she turned around she got a banana cream pie in her face, the platter covering her back and splatting on the floor as the room only resonated the echo of laughter. A shrill scream pierced the silence as it fell and Rarity threw the top half of the guard she was aside.
Tempest was on her hooves and on guard before the shell hit the floor. Rarity’s horn lit and blue magic floated over Twilight’s mane and feathers. “Darling, you’re a mess! We can’t have you looking like a cheap Germaine movie, now can we?”
Fluttershy tapped Twilight and smiled meekly, “I wouldn’t mind that.”
“Okay, what’s going on here?!”
“Woah, Tempest, chill. It’s us, Twilight’s friends, remember?”
Tempest moved to keep the four in her sights as the mares climbed from the hollow bodies of the guards. “Dearest Night… Did you,” she pointed at the top half of a guard.
“Ha, nopers, you get an ‘X’ for that one.”
“He, yup. Turns out these here thingies ‘r just armor of some kind. The things inside’re tall, weak, and looked kinda like the Storm King, but fatter and more monkeylike… bleh.”
Fluttershy cleared her throat. “I thought they were cute.”
“You think everything’s cute,” Applejack snarked and they all shared a laugh.
“Ri~ght, so… you five mares took over the guards and somehow found out they were wearing these things. Then you captured us-”
“Technically we were already captured, I just wanted to say that.”
Tempest huffed. “Whatever, and then you led us here to, what, escape?”
Rainbow hovered an inch from Tempest’s face, “You bet your molars!”
“Molars? Rainbow, Ah’ve heard bad ones before, but that…”
“Yeah, well you try and come up with new quips on the fly every ten minutes during this adventure.”
“Miss Dash, there’s no reason to be rude. We have our friends out of the clutches of the Storm King and I say we make haste,” she turned and took several paces before stopping and looking back. “Pinkie, weren’t you the legs for my costume?”
The mares looked at Pinkie, who pronked in place. “Yup!”
“Wait a second,” Rainbow said loudly, a bit too loudly because it echoed back and she nearly shouted it in reply before she caught herself and stayed on point. “You were my legs, there’s no way I could be that tall.”
“Me, too.”
“Mmm-hm, reckon I was ridin’ her shoulders and barely kept on balance like a snake on a wire bein’ chased by a mongoose.”
“Pinkie, perhaps you can explain how you were, apparently, supporting us all?”
“Oh, silly Rarity, I’ll always support my friends when they need me.”
She took the lead pronking down the hall while the rest looked at her with disgusted awe. “Wait,” Tempest broke the silence that had once again fallen through the hallway, “how are we going to escape? They have guards all over the castle with the purpose of stopping us now.”
Pinkie giggled from behind Tempest and poked her armored flank, a baritone ‘gah’ was the warning Tempest gave before bucking blindly behind her and connecting with the pink mare. Pinkie bounced from the nearby wall into a pillar, then against a window, then pinballed around the room getting fast and faster, finally smashing through one of the windows, thus proving anything and everything is breakable, regardless of rumored enchantments.
The mares, save Tempest, gasped and ran towards the window, stopping when they reached it. Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy took wing and looked out, seeing the storm getting heavier while ponies suffered in chains, unable to guard themselves from the weather. “Hey, girls,” Pinkie called from behind Tempest again. This time Pinkie blocked Tempest’s surprised buck with a very large glass coffin, much like the one from the classic Snow White, that hummed when it dissipated her strike.
“Pinkie?!” The group shouted, excitement, relief, and frustration being the key emotions as she was hugged in a ponypile with Tempest squeezed in for good measure. Several seconds later they broke, smiling and happy their friend was fine.
“Pinkie, you had us positively terrified for your well being, and why do you have a coffin?!”
Pinkie giggled and waved a forehoof dismissively, “Rarity, you should know I have princess sized glass coffins stashed around the castle, for… reasons,” a darkness that stole a piece of Rarity’s innocence twinkled in Pinkies eyes.
“Pinkie?! What could be the reason mphf-”
“Rainbow,” Rarity said through clenched teeth and a frown, “don’t ask the why of Pinkie Pie!” She then stopped her spell and turned to look at the sun in stained glass, offering a silent prayer for reasons she couldn’t explain, ever.
“So, we get in this and you just,” Twilight gestured, “push us out?”
“Like a foal on its birthday!”
A chorus of disapproval sounded from the others. “Gross, Pinkie.”
“Awe, Dashie, you’re the first of us that’ll have one; so get used to it.”
“Wait, wha-?!”
“Enough,” Tempest shouted. “You mares talk too much, let’s get in this thing because it looks like it was made to fit Sun Butt’s flanks so it’ll fit us,” she pointed between herself and Twilight, “you others, get into your costumes and carry us out.”
Pinkie, wearing a soldier’s BDU and supporting her mane and tail in a tight bun, saluted. “Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” She ran around the group, grabbing the other mares in a blind whirlwind, took them to where the suits of armor lay in pieces, and in a pink blur all four guards were standing again.
They moved and mumbled questions to each other, then walked in perfect unison to the four posts of the casket. “That, is weird,” Tempest said once they’d taken their places.
“Just, don’t ask and know it’ll be better if you don’t,” Twilight said, flying up into the coffin and lying down. “Need help?”
“Sure, I’m not one to turn down the offer of a friend.” There was a two second moment of silence as the sentence sank in.
Twilight used her magic, having recovered enough, to lift and pull Tempest into a tight hug. “I knew you were a good pony, Tempest, I just knew it.”
“Yeah, yeah, lemme go before I do something we’ll both regret,” she mused and lay next to Twilight.
“Oh yeah, one last thing,” Twilight lit her horn and cast a spell; a freshly cut flowers appeared on Tempest’s chest and on her own. “Hold these and it’ll help in our ruse.”
Elsewhere in Equestria, a stallion was tending his greenhouse in a place where news of Canterlot’s plight were still two day’s flight away, was being given a bunch of flowers from a mare he’d begun dating during the previous winter. He knew it was getting serious, yet he passed out when he saw the flowers consisting of the colors yellow, green, and pink, much to her confusion1.
Tempest nodded solemnly, taking them to her chest and following Twilight’s example and placing them on her belly. “Tempest, stay as still as you can. I’m going to cast a silence spell to make it sound like our hearts have stopped, but they’ll be able to feel out breath and pulse, so we can’t make any mistakes here.”
“I know how to play possum, and thank you, for all this.”
They exchanged a smile and unspoken gratitude with a nod, then lay as comfortable as they could on the fluffy cushions that lined the bottom and managed with the shaking and rocking, bumping ride out of the castle.
“Halt, where are you going?” The coffin stopped and the mares inside’s heartbeats thundered in their chests.
“We’re going to the central plaza. These two were killed fighting the Storm King and we’re using them as examples. Ya know, same stuff, different day.”
These two guards were clearly not like the others, being the same height but they moved more fluidly. They also had eyes that fit their helmets and spoke in clear Ponish. They looked down at the pink pony and while the four holding the coffin seemed to shift awkwardly. “We will see if what you say is true, little pony. If they are living we shall eat them while you watch,” the hard blue eyes peered through the eye slits at Pinkie.
With a hearty giggle, Pinkie bounced onto the coffin and opened the upper section, holding a tray of cupcakes on one forehoof when she turned around. “Cupcakes, pie, or cake?” she moved her other foreleg with a cake from behind her back, followed by a pie on her tail. “I think pie!”
Pinkie tossed the cake and cupcakes to the sides and hopped into the air, the pie leading her fall, held in her outstretched foreleg. With a quintessential splat, the pie exploded across Tempest’s face, head, neck, torso, and the filling oozed down her face, filling her ears with its pineapple freshness.
Pinkie landed with her forelegs beside Tempest’s head and she leaned down, the last thing the red mare heard for the next few minutes that wasn’t muffled beyond understanding was Pinkie’s whisper. “That’s for being such a meanie through this whole adventure.”
Tempest didn’t move, not a flinch as curious rage boiled inside her; screaming at her to tackle the mare and zap her until her mane permanently stood straight on end.
“See! If that was Tempest playing dead, she’d come back and give me a really black eye, at least, right?”
The two real beasts that the others emulated looked between one another and nodded. “You live, may they find peace in their rest since they had little while awake.”
“Oooo, spiritual,” Pinkie hummed and hopped out of the coffin, closing the glass lid and hopping to the lead of the precession. “Well, see ya and then Tia!” she bounced in the lead, the four moving in unison behind her. Pinkie led them down the street and turned quickly, all of them keeping pace into an alley that they knew could be used to escape the city, if they stayed off the streets, kept their eyes open, and were willing to break into houses and businesses as needed to hide.
Four mares soon stood staring at Pinkie as she opened the coffin and tapped a catchy rhythm against the glass walls, signaling the duo it was safe. Tempest sat up and snorted air and pineapple custard from her nose then sucked in air because she was at her limit without. She wiped her face and eyes with her forelegs and when Twilight helped with magic she was grateful.
So grateful she didn’t throttle Pinkie right away, instead grabbing her and leaping from the coffin, slamming Pinkie into the brick wall that lined the building. She glared at and it turned into a hateful grimace when Pinkie loudly laughed. “Be quiet! What reason do I have to not make you into a distraction for our escape?!”
Pinkie snorted, “You have cream in your ears, that’s too funny!”
Tempest pulled a foreleg back and was about to bring it forward, and the hoof attached to it into Pinkie’s gut, stopped by Rainbow Dash flying between the mares and glaring back at Tempest, who stumbled back and shook her head. Lay off my friends or I’ll show you what we do when we get together.”
Tempest looked at the two mares, then walked in a circle and looked at the other mares, then snickered, bursting into laughter a second later. “Gotcha!”
“Huh?”
“Pie in the face?! I love that gag, c’mon, let’s hurry and get out so we can start a rebellion! I’ve only read about those, and now I could be leading one?! Oh, em, Cee, I can totally change my name again! How about,” she walked past Rarity and Fluttershy, “oh, I know! Flashing Thunder, what’d’ya think?”
She laughed when she turned and saw the six mares looking at her awkwardly. With several bouncy hops, she was beside Twilight and pulled her into a hug. “Look at us, friends! I’ve waited years to feel this way and now I do, and it didn’t take my horn to do it, c’mon, let’s go!”
She walked beside Twilight, gabbing like she’d been saving stories for years as they walked into the shadows of the storm.
1These colors combined should indicate pregnancy, something he knew and she didn’t.
