I Love Lamp

by Flutterpriest

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 2428

Hexferry is a mothpony who is coming to town to meet Twilight for something important. But that's not the important part. The important part is that Twilight trusts Anon to give her a place to stay for tonight. This is a bad idea.

Hexferry is a mothpony who is coming to town to meet Twilight for something important. But that's not the important part. The important part is that Twilight trusts Anon to give her a place to stay for tonight. It's probably worse for Anon than for her.

Edited by Twitch

Published 2018-10-29 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-29 00:00:01 UTC

Illuminating

Author's Note

Before we jump in

http://moth-ponies.wikia.com/wiki/Hexferry

Hexferry is a moth horse. Not a bee horse. But she got popular as a bee horse. She's a moth horse in this. Love you <3

Illuminating

It’s a… day in Equestria.

You would like to stay away from saying the word ‘good’, or ‘average’ because you’re beginning to learn more about pony species in Equestria. See, normally when you have a question for your friend who you shamelessly mooch off of, Princess Twilight Sparkle, she throws a book at your face and says to ‘get some knowledge’.

However, when you asked her, ‘How many species are there in Equestria?’ she seemed to light up at the possibility to show you the world.

Breaking news: Equestria is fucking weird.

“In the beginning,” Twilight said. “There were three tribes: the unicorns, the pegusai, and the earth ponies.”

“So, the normal ponies, then,” you ask.

“Well, I wouldn’t say normal, Anon,” Twilight says with a bright smile. “After all, nopony is truly normal. Everypony is special!”

You laugh out loud, which earns a glare from Princess Twilight.

“Earth ponies are each blessed with unnatural strength that other ponies don’t have. That’s how Applejack and her family is able to do so much work on her farm.”

“Yeah, but like, if Pinkie has supernatural strength, how does she use it?”

Twilight’s glare moves from you, to some space beside you. Rather, a certain thought seems to encompass her mind. Her ears fold down. Her tail moves just slightly between her legs.

“Uh, Twilight’s stupid castle to Twilight,” you say.

“Anyway!” Twilight says, snapping out of her reverie. “Then the species balance act of a long time ago passed from Princess Luna.”

“Wait, when?” you ask. “The who what?”

“A long time ago,” Twilight says, with an added scoff. “Our record keeping is spotty at best. Don’t shame our record keeping.”

“Whatever. Then what happened?” you ask, mildly interested.

“Well,” Twilight says with a blush. “It’s not in effect now, but, well. It temporarily solved our gender balance problem. Now we have Batponies, Deerponies, Catponies, Wolfponies, Mothponies-”

“Wait,” you say, standing up. You feel sweat dripping down your forehead. Your stomach lurches in place. “Are you saying, that for a certain amount of time, you guys fucked so many animals that-”

“IT WAS FOR THE PRESERVATION OF PONYKIND” Twilight yells.

“YOU GUYS FUCKED INSECTS?!”

“IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME!” Twilight replies.

“Oh god. Oh god,” you say, sitting back down. “This. This is so…”

“But they’re ponies just like anycreature.”

“Anypony,” you correct.

“No, it’s anycreature now.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

A moment of silence fills the air as you stand from your desk and begin to pace Twilight’s library.

“Okay, so. But all of these ponies live in other parts of Equestria, right?”

“Well actually-”

“I still don’t understand why this is my job," you grumble.

You’re sitting at the train station, late in the evening. You’re waiting for the final train to roll in. The ticket booth closed it’s window about two hours ago, and the only lights around are the two lights that signal the train of the platform’s beginning and end. Oh, and your flashlight. You had a pack of cards, but there isn’t really a good surface for solitaire, and the ponies around you get bored of your only magic trick pretty quick.

But you earned two bits. And who said street magic would never pay?

Saving you from your own boredom, you see a train coming in from off in the distance. You rise to your feet and exhale.

“About time.”

The train pulls up in front of you, the lumbering pace of the massive wheels slows down gradually until it reaches the end of the platform. Then, it finally comes to a halt. The ponies running it step off onto the platform and quickly go to work pulling out luggage for the passengers to take.

“Final stop, Ponyville!” cries the conductor as he opens the doors to the passenger car. And there, you find the pony of your interest.

A pony with an extremely long set of yellow and brown wings steps out of the car. Adorning her head are two black feelers, and a long blond mane and tail with brown streaks. Around her neck seems to almost be a scarf of chest floof. A natural scarf. That must be handy in the cold weather.

“Look for the pony that looks like a Death’s-Head Moth,” Twilight said.

She looks like a damn bee.

“Excuse me, Hexferry?” you call out, walking forward to intercept her.

She turns, a saddlebag having just been slung onto her back by the train staff.

“Hello?” she asks, her light blue eyes examining you apprehensively.

“My name is Anon. I’m here on behalf of Princess Twilight to give you a place to stay for this evening. Apparently there was some sort of problem with her servant remembering to put the bed on the ceiling for you as you prefer.”

“Oh, I see,” she says in disappointment. “I assume you have some sort of proof that you are who you say you are.”

“Oh yes! Twilight wanted me to provide you with this gift,” you say, reaching into your bag. You pull out an uncomfortably large jar of honey.

Her hexagon shaped pupils dilate to the size of grapefruits. Or honey-bee hives.

“Take me,” she says.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing,” she says, a light pink glow covering her face.

“Well, uh. This should at least last you for awhile,” you say with a laugh.

“Maybe an afternoon,” she says with a smile, putting the jar into her bag. “Anyway. It’s been a very long day, where are we-”

Then, the platform lamp flickers briefly, and her eyes are drawn to the light.

“Going?” you complete her sentence. “My place isn’t too far. Just follow me.”

You turn and begin to walk off the platform.

“So, what’s Mothpony-land like? What’s it called again?” you ask.

You walk slowly, but then you notice that you haven’t received a response. You turn to Hexferry, but notice she isn’t behind you at all. You quickly glance around to find where she could have gone.

Then, you find her. Somehow climbed up the platform’s light pole, with her face directly up against the lamp on the beginning of the train platform.

“Uh, Hex?” you ask.

“Yes,” she says gently. “I will.”

“Hexferry.” you say more firmly.

That seems to snap her out of her trance, she turns to you and blinks twice.

“Oh, sorry,” she says. “What were you saying?”

You sigh.

This is going to be a long night.

“We’re almost there,” you say calmly. Hexferry is a fairly quiet creature, most likely because of being with a weird human in a place she isn’t used to being. Business with Princess Twilight is usually serious business. It’s probably best not to press.

“I’ll show you the guest room, and then you’re welcome to just do whatever you want. If you wanna see the nightlife, I’ll just leave my door unlocked and you can come back when you’re ready. If you wanna just pass out once we’re inside, then you’re welcome to just call it a night. I’ll do my best to keep quiet.”

“I don’t mind a little companionship,” Hex says with a smile. “It was a long, boring train ride. It’s nice having somecreature to talk to.”

You sigh to yourself at her choice of words, and then pull out your keys.

“This is it,” you say, walking up to the front door. Great. You forgot to leave the porchlight on. Luckily for you, you have your flashlight. “Would you hold this for me?” you ask her, handing her the flashlight.

“Sure,” she says with a smile. “What is it?”

You blink.

“Really?” you ask. “You’ve never seen a flashlight before?”

“We don’t have a lot of electricity or lights in the Mothlands,” she says with a surprise. “Everything here is so strange and wonderful. Usually we do things by candlelight.”

“Well, hit the button on it for me. I need to see what key I’m trying.”

She presses the button, sending a straight, strong beam of LED light through the air.

“There we go,” you say with a smile. You flip through your keys- aaaand the light’s gone.

You look to Hexferry, who now is staring directly into the beam of the light.

“That’s… really bad for your eyes,” you say calmly.

Her mouth hangs slightly open. Her pupils are the size of pinpricks.

Great. Like an actual moth, she’s amazed with light.

Whatever, there’s enough residual light from it to find the right key. You flip to that key, shove it in the lock, unlock the door, and pull Hexferry inside.

You flip on the living room lights as you step inside, then close the door behind you and Hexferry. She blinks, looking around your home. You take the opportunity to take the flashlight from her and place it on the kitchen counter.

“Your room is the first door on the right down the hall,” you say in your best host voice.

“Oh! Thank you,” she says gently. “It’s so kind of you to let me stay here.”

Her entire demeanor seems more gentle than before, if anything… more… caring? She seems to look at you with a certain fondness that you hadn’t seen before. You smile to her, if only to return that dorky smile that she has. Honestly? She’s kind of cute. Even if her great, great, great, great, something grandparent had sex with an actual moth.

But, Twilight gave you extremely explicit instructions.

“You cannot have sex with her, Anon,” she said, growling at you. “You always do this. I have a friend that comes in, or I introduce you to, then you have sex with them. We’re lucky we don’t have any satyrs running around town.”

To which you asked about how they knew satyrs were a thing, and you were sent to the train station. Whatever.

“Anyway. It’s really late for me,” you say with a smile. “I’m going to head to bed. Mi casa es su casa and all that.”

“Thank you,” she says softly. “Do you mind if I knock if I need something?”

Like this dick.

“Of course!” you say rather too eagerly. “Anything at all, just let me know.”

You head to your bedroom and close the door slowly. As soon as the door latches, you shed all of your clothes, grab a plastic rose, then lay in bed. Getting in your best Hasslehoff position, you put the rose in your mouth and wait.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” you mutter, leaping off the bed. Two hours passed in complete silence. She didn’t even knock on your door. What the fuck, man.

You throw on a robe. Okay, Anon. Here’s the plan. Get a ‘glass of water’, then just check in. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s stealthy as fuck. Then you don’t come off as the perverted asshole that you really are. It’s flawless.

You open the door to your bedroom and peek out into the hallway.

But, to your surprise. There’s no mothpony in sight. You walk out into the hallway, and sure enough, her door is closed. You sigh to yourself. On your way to the kitchen, you turn off your house lights. You pull a glass out of a cabinet and begin to run your kitchen faucet.

“Well, so much for that,” you mutter. “Chalk this one up to ‘Anon did something good for once’.”

The words feel dirty in your mouth.

You fill the glass, shut off the water, down your drink, and shut off your lights.

Then you notice something. There’s a light under Hexferry’s door.

You turn on your kitchen lights again, and notice something you didn’t see before.

Your flashlight is gone.

You blink once. Then twice. Then you shut off your light.

Well, here’s the deal. You may be doing something nice for Twilight, but at the same time, you aren’t going to tolerate stealing.

You walk up to Hexferry’s bedroom door. You take a deep breath and steel yourself.

‘If you give the flashlight back, I won’t tell Twilight or kick you out. Everything will be okay. Then she will leave in the morning and not come back.’

Then, you hear a voice inside. A pained, constricted voice.

You blink a third time.

“Uh, Hex?” you say in deep concern, opening the door.

You should have knocked.

The door opens slowly, and there, on your guest bed, is Hexferry, with a flashlight, shoved deep up her private pink pony parts, with the action end projecting against the wall.

You feel the need to say something, but your breath is caught in your throat.

Well this is… illuminating.

You open the door more, but Hex’s eyes are closed as she plunges the handle of the flashlight in and out of her. Gentle moans fill the room as you sheepishly step into your guest room.

You clear your throat. But to your misfortune, she lets a small yipping moan at the same time.

“Hex,” you say flatly.

“AIEEE!” she screams, leaping literally to the ceiling. And clinging there. The flashlight slides out of her and falls onto your bed.

“Okay, so we need to talk,” you say.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK!” Hex screams.

“It’s MY house?!”

“THAT’S NO EXCUSE TO WALK IN ON A LADY.”

“YOU STOLE MY FLASHLIGHT.”

“WATTS THE MATTER WITH THAT?!” she asks.

A moment of silence falls between the two of you.

“Did you just-”

“Just LIGHTEN UP, will you?!”

“Please stop,” you say. “I just. You know, I don’t actually know if I want that back now.”

“Good, because it really turns me on”

You glare at her, your mouth dropping slightly in disbelief.

"Listen,” you say. “I’m just going to go. Clearly I never should have walked in. I’m sorry. We’re not going to talk about this again. Just buy me a new flashlight. I’m going to go.”

You turn around, then step back out into the hallway. Then you pause, and turn back.

“Unless you’re into double penetration?” you ask.

“Ew, gross! What’s wrong with you?!” she shouts down at you.

“Okay, fine. Whatever. Have fun with your on again, off again relationship.”

You slam the door and step away from your guest room.

You’re probably not going in there for a few weeks. Having a mothpony guest was just a bit too enlightening for you.