“You’re bigger than I was told as well…” the visitor at your door responded, glancing between your legs. Her voice was warm and maternal, calling to you in ways you’d never known before.

“Damn. I don’t even know who you are and the first words out of your mouth are about how big my dick is? I think I like you!” you start, realizing you were missing something, “Uh… Who are you tho?”

“Princess Celestia!” Atlas called out, rushing to the door and lowering his head in reverence.

“Hello, dear Atlas! How go your studies?” she asked in acknowledgment.

“I, uh… They’re great. In fact just the other day I…” he trailed off, “Actually I’m much more interested in what brings you here, to be honest.”

“’Tis not a what, but a whom,” came a second voice you hadn’t noticed before. Princess Celestia shuffled to the side, revealing a slightly smaller but still very large pony, a deep navy coat of fur contrasting sharply with the Princess’s pure white. “Ah, sister. You are right. Twilight did so grossly underestimate in what she reported to us.”

“Princess Luna?” Atlas asked, his voice cracking just the tiniest amount. Shit, two princesses. Damn your day was going fine.

“Yes, Atlas. Like my sister said, we’re here to see somepony very specific.”

“Hey! That’s me right?” you ask, two thumbs pointed directly at your chest. “Fuckin’ score!”

“Well it seems like Twilight did accurately describe some of your mannerisms.” Celestia observed, “But yes. We have come to speak with you, Anon. Your existence is of great interest to the crown.”

“So, uh… What can I do for you ladies then?” you ask, bracing yourself against one side of the door. Atlas had since fetched the third pair of your clothes, nudging you as if to suggest you consider putting them on. “Oh shit! Pants!” You snatched them out of Atlas’s magic and darted into the bathroom right next to you, dressing as quickly as you could with the door still open enough that you could see Atlas sweating the attention now focused on him.

“Twilight told us that he was fond of such clothing,” you overheard Luna say. “‘Twas quite the curiosity to see that not the case.”

“Ah well, you see…” Atlas hesitated, rubbing his neck with a hoof, “He uh…”

You emerged, “Just a few minutes ago I was busy fucking Twilight’s brains out, and Atlas - being the dickbag that he is - fucking teleported me back here without my damn clothes.”

“You mean Twilight Sparkle?” Celestia asked, her concerned tone new to you. She refocused on you, her voice suddenly serious “You fucked my protégé?”

“Whoa! What’s with everyone’s fucking judgment boner over who I choose to put my dick in?” you scream, “You know what, I don’t care if you two are fucking princesses. Twilight is a fucking adult and she asked me! She was in heat and I was who she came to for relief. So fuckin’ turn down. I’m so not down for this whole social justice horse thing.”

“You fucked my protégé while she was in heat?” came the even more furious voice of the white-furred princess. You could feel the visceral heat of her anger as if she were actually on fire.

“Sister, Anon has a point. Twilight is a grown mare and may make her own decisions now. You’re being unreasonable.”

The temperature dropped back down the ten degrees it had risen in those tense few moments, Celestia’s expression softening slightly. You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding onto.

“Sorry, Anon. Luna is right. Twilight is no longer a little schoolfilly and it would appear that she has made up her own mind about intimacy. But do promise me that you treated her well.”

“Yes ma’am. I did everything she asked. We both enjoyed it.”

“And I assume you took the necessary precautions so that she should not be with foal?” Luna interjected.

“That’s what she told me.”

“Fine.” Celestia conceded, “Though if I find out you’ve hurt her there will be no place you can hide inside my kingdom or out where my wrath cannot find you.”

“I think I’m supposed to be intimidated by that, but instead I’m actually kinda turned on…” you admit.

“Exactly like Twilight described.” Luna giggled to herself.

“Right. So, uh… What can I do for you two other than exceed your expectations with my dick?” you ask. Luna giggled once more while Celestia tried to keep from cracking a smile.

“Well first, Anon, would you be a gentlecolt and invite us in?” Celestia asked, that smile making an appearance anyway.

“Oh, uh… Yeah, you can come inside whenever you want…” you stop, “That didn’t come out right. Just, uh… Follow me.”

Luna evidently found this just as funny, attempting to stifle her laughter with a hoof.

“I’m sorry, my Princesses, would I have known I was expecting visitors I would have asked Cornflower for a larger suite.”

“And how would you be paying for that, Mr. Atlas” you whispered to him, imitating her bright, airy voice. He in turn kicked firmly at the back of your leg with one of his hooves.

“‘Tis no trouble at all. ” Luna answered, “We anticipate this to be a rather quick conversation.”

“Indeed, we have only a bit to talk about, and an offer for both of you that should be of some interest.”

“Thank you for your flexibility,” Atlas groveled, “It is a shame that Twilight isn’t here. She does so love seeing you two.”

Poof.

“ATLAS NO!” Twilight screamed, ready to do …something. She looked ultimately disheveled, her mane a mess and her cheeks matted with tears. She blinked a few times at the sight in front of her as she tried to rationalize what was going on, “Atlas you went to the Princesses? You’d waste their time on this?”

“Actually they um-” you started before she cut you off.

“Anon! Oh thank goodness you’re okay! I thought for sure Atlas was going to…” she paused, “Wait if Atlas didn’t send for the Princesses, why are they-”

“Twilight! Dost thou often speak of others as if they are not there?” Luna gasped, seemingly offended.

“Yup. She sure does,” you answer, definitely not holding a grudge.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Twilight trailed off, “Why are you here? I never see you anymore!”

“We came to speak to Anon, Twilight.” Celestia answered, “He is the subject of great interest in Canterlot from the reports you submitted.”

“The reports where you told them my dick was small?” you ask, staring lasers into Twilight.

“It was a statement of fact! A purely anatomical observation! I merely noted that your phallus was substandard in comparison to the average stallion.”

“Twilight that’s a rather unkind thing to say in front of someone…” Atlas interrupted. Man you really felt like shit if even Atlas was going to stick up for you.

“Why do you think that when we…” Twilight started, “Actually… can we discuss this another time?”

“Oh, there’s no need Twilight. Anon told us of your indiscretion.” Celestia hissed, the disappointment in her voice venomous.

“He what uh… What did he tell you?”

“Everything, Twi,” you answered, “But I don’t regret anything. Do you?”

“No! You’re right! Celestia, I made a choice! I know you’re always trying to protect me, but this was my decision! And it was fucking wonderful!”

“That topic was broached as well, dear,” Luna informed, “Tia just needs a bit to get over the fact that her favorite little filly isn’t a little filly anymore.”

“Oh, uh…” Twilight hesitated, “Carry on then.”

“So then…” you ask, “I’m popular in Canterwhatever?”

“Canterlot” Atlas whispered at you.

“The fuck kinda word is that even?” you whisper back.

“Yes, Anon.” Celestia responded, “There are many nobles, and admittedly a Princess or two, that wish to make your acquaintance. And we wish to formally welcome you into Equestria with a great celebration.”

“Sweet! Look at me, Em! I’m fucking popular!” you yell at Atlas. He gave you a weird look back though. Must be jealous.

“M?” Twilight asked, the princesses both giving you looks as well. Shit.

“Yeah, M for map. Cause Atlas’s ass picture is a map. Can we pause for one moment to say that I haven’t once brought up how weird it is that all of you have a fucking fur decal back there?”

“Cutie mark.” Atlas corrected under his breath.

“Shit, man. That sounds fucking gay as hell. I’d go with ass picture if I were you.”

Luna evidently thought this was hilarious, giggling once again with that infectious sound that was so anti-parallel to her otherwise old-world charm.

“Anyway, to get to the real point of why we’re here,” Celestia redirected, “Anon, we’d like to ask if you’d be willing to come to Canterlot, the capital of Equestria. We’d like to offer you a chance to meet the Equestrian nobility find out more about our history and culture. In turn we would also like to talk of your world as well.”

“You said there’d be a party, right?” you reiterate, “Sign me the fuck up then.”

“Wonderful!” Luna exclaimed, banging her hooves together in what sounded roughly like clapping.

“And Atlas, I presume you’d like to come along as well,” Celestia continued, “Both to act as Anon’s guide and to be recognized for your rather unorthodox contribution to your field?”

“Oh, I don’t intend to let Anon out of my sight. He’s like a foal in that way, always needs constant supervision.”

“Thank you, Atlas,” she responded, her voice dropping to a whisper - which you still heard - “And thanks for reading between the lines.”

“Hey! I don’t need a fucking babysitter!” you snapped, “Atlas if you treat me like a child I’ll… I’ll behave like one!”

“That’s an empty threat, since you already do that anyway.” Atlas jeered. Man you really hated him sometimes.

“Can I come with?” Twilight asked eagerly.

“No, Twilight. You’ve done quite enough already.” Celestia reprimanded.

“But I…” she paused. You weren’t sure if the disappointment of her mentor or the childlike treatment hurt her more, but the tears on her face were real either way.

“Twilight,” Luna called, nuzzling against the purple pony, “What my sister means to say is that you have important work still to do here in Ponyville. There is still much concern over your reports of increased Changeling activity. We must root out that threat before it is in our midst.”

“That’s not fair! I’m as much a part of this discovery as Atlas!” Twilight whined,

“Actually,” you replied, “You only dosed me with fucking fairy dust, blew magical bubbles in my face, and then magically elongated my dick to use as a tool to satisfy yourself. Kinda self serving in the long run, even if I’m grateful for the enhancement.”

“Yes, Twilight. Do not take credit where it is not yours to take. It’s quite unbecoming.” Celestia condescended.

“It’ll be alright, Twilight. I’m sure you’ll be able to come up as soon as the Changelings aren’t in the Everfree anymore,” Atlas consoled.

“Yeah!” you exclaim, “Maybe they’ll head to Canterlot next and you’ll have to come save me from a scary bug that wants to suck the love out of me, amongst other things!”

“What a vivid imagination!” Luna exclaimed, “Anyhow, we must be going should we intend to make landfall before it is time to set the sun.”

“Yes. Goodbye Twilight,” Celestia concluded, lighting her horn. You felt the warm caress of magic once more as you were enveloped in a golden aura, watching as Atlas was enveloped as well by the same field. Luna enshrouded herself in her own deep blue aether as all of the sudden reality blinked briefly out of existence.

Before you had a moment to admire the transient nothingness, you had arrived.

“Tia! We wished to fly back to Canterlot!” Luna whined.

“Not right now Luna. I’m not in the mood.”

Author's Note

Luna... Luna wasn't supposed to be there! I actually added her in at the last minute cause she's gonna be a bit more important to the story than I previously intended. And that's all I'm gonna say.

And that brings Act I to a wrap!