There was something in your arms. Something cold, but not. Something heavy, but not. Something yours, but not. You cracked your eyes open to determine what you were holding. Before you had a chance to look towards the object you were cradling, you realized you were surrounded by hooves, tens, maybe even a hundred of them, all dangerously close to you, and whatever that important thing you were holding was.

Shit!

You’re holding Em. And you’re stuck in the castle. And that guard was just about to murder both of you and… Wait, his hooves were white, and had decidedly less holes in them. In fact the only thing you’d seen leg holes on was…

Nah, couldn’t be.

As you tried to get to your feet, the wall of hooves in front of you broke, allowing a lone set of hooves to march through the gap that had formed. You focused on this, looking up to see a Changeling like Metamora, except he seemed to have more color about him. Its tail and mane-fin were blood red, and his carapace and eyes both skewed towards a more purple hue than what you were used to. It stood a head above the - what you now realized was an astounding number of - other Changelings surrounding you, but seemed to be almost identical in height and build to the Changeling in your arms.

“What is this?” it asked in a gruff, scratchy voice. It wasn’t clear if it was asking you or those around you, but you knew one thing; you were the this it was concerned about.

Not a soul spoke. After a brief moment, it took another step closer to you with purpose.

“Identify yourself, intruder,” it demanded, lowering its head to glare into your eyes.

“I uh,” you pause, thinking of how you wanted to handle this, “I brought you a present.” You loosened your grip on Metamora, letting her roll gently out of your grasp.

“What kind of gift do you consider incapacitating one of my Changelings?” It - he, you guessed - asked back.

“Hold on, your Changeling? Get in line pal, Em’s mine.”

“You would have the audacity to claim dominion over a Changeling, as you lie defenseless on the ground of our hive?” he asked, “You must truly be a brash creature.”

“All part of the charm,” you chuckle, trying to move to your feet.

“Drones,” he commanded, “Restrain the intruder.”

Just as you got to your feet, you saw, felt, and heard a whirlwind of activity around you. With perfect synchrony the cadre of Changelings around you flew into action, some spitting a green mucus that bound your limbs to one another, some using their magic to position your arms and legs so that you could be bound to one of the low walls nearby.

“Whoa hold on, what the fuck!” you shout, “What did I do to you?”

“It’s a sizable list,” he crackled, “First you teleport into the middle of the hive-”

“Hold up I ain’t teleported nowhere.”

“Well it wasn’t Changeling magic that brought you here, and that means it must have been yours.”

“Wait, bro, I don’t even have magic.”

“What kind of imbecile do you take me for. All creatures have magic. And furthermore, even had you not teleported here, you still knocked out a Changeling, and by all accounts it appears you intended to kidnap her.”

“That’s so not…” you started, “Why would I be fucking passed out on the floor if I was trying to escape with a Changeling. And what good would that do me anyway?”

“I don’t care for your mind games. Your transgressions are simple, and so to will be your punishment, should the Queen decide.”

“Can we stop talking about restraints and punishments? I’m precipitously close to popping a boner here, although the thought of you with a riding crop isn’t quite doing it for me so…”

“You would think of sex at a time like this?” he asked, his eye twitching.

“Kinda my only mode really, just ask her,” you motioned, “When she wakes up, I guess. I mean at least this time it wasn’t my dick that knocked her out. Course if things had gone a different way…”

He winced at that, taking a step back cautiously.

“I know not any creature that would willingly mate a Changeling. You must be a truly vile species if the threat of taken love does not distemper your desires.”

“Yeah, she tells me I’m the worst,” you chuckle, “Now are these restraints really necessary?”

“Until I can figure out what you intend to do here, you’re not going anywhere.”

“Whatever, but if I pop a boner while I’m stuck here like this, and Em’s not awake to take care of it-”

“Who is this ‘M’ you keep speaking of?” it inquired, stepping back towards you.

“Dude, she’s right fucking there,” you nod, “fuckin’ rude sack of shit.”

“This Changeling, you call her ‘M’?” it continued.

“Yeah. That’s her name, er…” you paused, “That’s my nickname for her.”

“Changelings don’t have nicknames.”

“So she told me. I still don’t care,” you shrug, “Em, Metamora, lovebug, what’s it matter what I call her?”

“Did you say Metamora?” he asked with incredulity, his attention shifting to the still snoozing Changeling where you were just laying. “You mean to tell me that you kidnapped one of the most revered Infiltrators of all time, and the next step in your plan was to come back to the hive? That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Dude, I told you that’s not what happened.”

“Quiet!” he demanded, turning to try and rouse Metamora from her unnatural slumber. “Metamora, wake up! You’re safe from this creature now.”

You chuckled, “Oh, there’s nowhere she can hide that my dick can’t find…” Wow, that sounded more ominous than you intended.

Suddenly the inquisitive Changeling flew towards you, his wings buzzing angrily. “You will hold your tongue, lest I pull it out and feed it to you as your last meal before I slice you end from end.”

You did as he asked. That fucker had some anger management problems, man you bet his asshole was tighter than- What the fuck - you’re not fucking gay, where did that thought even…

Metamora stirred, drawing once more the attention of your aggressor. She opened her eyes, presumably running through the same mental exercise of having no fucking clue what was going on.

“Holy shit what the fuck!” she screamed, damn you taught her well. “Where the fuck am- Wait, Pharynx?”

“Metamora?” he asked back, “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” she snapped, “I wake up hive knows where after the most terrifying moments of my entire life, and you’re the first thing I see?”

“I uh-” he stammered.

“I mean I’ve seen an ugly mug in my time,” she chuckled, shakily trying to get to her feet, “But you easily take the cake.”

“Metamora!” he yelped, shock coloring his face at her words.

“Hive, you big lug,” she grinned, “Just as sensitive as ever. Come here, I’ve got some shit to show you.”

Wow. She didn’t even acknowledge you once. Just straight to flirting with this angry shitbag with used tampons for hair. You weren’t jealous. Nah, definitely not in a way where you’d punch somebody if you weren’t fucking glued to the damn wall.

“Em, what the fuck!” you yelled, “Tell him to let me the fuck down!”

“Just a moment, Anon…” she trilled, crossing her horn over Pharynx’s as a few pink sparks crossed between them. After a moment, he jumped back in surprise before looking at you with… hunger?

“Wait did you just… you have telepathy?”

“No, it’s just like talking but with magic. Helps with sharing di-”

“Whoa, dude…” you interrupted, realizing Pharynx was drawing closer on you with a thirst in his eyes, “That part I said about popping a boner, total lie. And even if it weren’t please don’t shove it in your tight, wet asshole. I’m not gay!”

“Anon, you’re not wearing pants. We can see your dick plain as day. And I’m just a little bit disappointed you got hard without me.”

“We can worry about that later, but right now can you maybe do something about your friend there? He’s, uh… He’s got ideas I don’t think I agree with.”

“Pharynx!” she called, stopping him dead in his tracks as he looked back at you sheepishly. “After everything I showed you, you were just going to go suck the love right out of him? I ought to stick you to the wall right next to him.”

“Yeah, about that… Can you do something about that next, or my dick. Either one, really. Honestly I’d be fine up here for a bit if you just wanted to work the-”

The restraints against you crumbled into dust and you fell to your feet, wobbling a bit but ultimately maintaining your balance.

“Uh… Thanks. So now how about somebody tell me what the fuck is going on. Cause I’m confused as shit. Not dead, mind you, and that’s a good place to be, but I’m still confused as all shit.”

“Welcome home, Metamora,” Pharynx offered “and welcome to the hive, Anon.”

“Wait, the hive as in…” you paused, “Em is this where you guys live? That’s so neat. You’ve gotta show me all the stuff, like your room and your bed and the kind of things you do on your bed alone when no one else is watching.”

“Anon!” she shrieked in embarrassment.

“What, masturbation is totally normal, I should know. I’m not judging you at all.”

“I don’t, ugh!” she denied, “Let’s just… Pharynx, do something!”

“I need to go inform the Queen of this. Metamora, please have a drone accompany both of you wherever you go until you’ve heard back from me.”

“Wait you’re going to make a drone babysit me?”

“This one!” you point, singling out a random drone that clung to the back of the group around you. “He, she-”

“She” Pharynx clarified.

“She didn’t strap me to the wall. I like her,” You pause, a thought hitting you, “Hold on, Em are drones like kids or…”

“No, Anon. Drones are all adults, that would be a nymph.”

“Fuckin’ score. So many things to stick my dick in!”

The entire group around you stared on in wide eyed shock.

“Anon,” Metamora growled, “you stick your dick in one thing that isn’t me while we’re in this hive and I’m going to shrink it right back down to the size it was when you got here. And just so everypony knows, it was not impressive.”

“That’s just cold.” Pharynx said, turning to leave.

“Eh, she’d never do it. She likes it too much,” you dismiss, turning to the drone you singled out, “Alright small fry, what’s your name?”

She hesitated, trembling a bit at your exuberance.

“A- Ap-” she mumbled.

You coughed. Why did that name sound familiar?

“Apo-” she tried again, still too shy to get it out there. She took a deep breath, straightening her posture for one last try, “Aphelion.”

“That sounds like a skin condition,” you cringed, “Fuckin’ rad. I’ll take it, Amphibian. Apiarist. Astigmatism. …What was it again?”

“Anon!”

“Nope, fairly sure I’ve got that one.”

“It’s bad enough that she’s got to follow us around! I’m not going to let you traumatize this poor drone!”

“Hey, she’s likely to see some shit either way. You’re making promises my dick can’t keep,” you quipped, “Now let’s get out of wherever the fuck we are. Rest of you drones, you’re dismissed. Go do whatever the fuck it is you do when you’re not staring at my dick.”

None of them moved.

“He’s right,” Metamora chuckled, “at ease.”

They all dispersed, scurrying off in various directions leaving you, Metamora, and Antlion. Applepie. …Fuck what was her name!

“Seriously though, What’s your name?”

“This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?”

“No worse than the last time, I’m sure.”

Author's Note

New act, who dis? Bit of a late release, I'd like to pretend that this was intentional, but to be honest, I still haven't caught back up on my writing. I just finished this an hour ago, and if I'm smart I'm going to go ahead and write tomorrow's chapter right now.

We're finally getting to the fun part. No more stuffy ponies to keep the mood or Anon's dick down! We're on the express train straight to bone town, with intermediate stops in every other possible orifice we find.

Now just to address the ~~elephant~~ Changeling in the room, Aphelion is not meant to in any way be or draw from Apocrita from Bugging Out. I couldn't capture her character if I wanted to, and I've already got my own plucky Changeling lead who would like to remind you that she needs no competition for Anon's dick. I just wanted to make a joking nod to the author and his work that inspired me to write again. If anyone sees No Pony around these here parts, please let them know that they're the best.