Author's Note

Stable Elements, Unstable Reaction takes place immediately after the events of Centaurea Cyanus.
This chapter brought to you by Marker as part of the Extra Chapter Challenge.

Poor Anon.

[Bonus][Act I] - Stable Elements, Unstable Reaction

“Fuck,” you groan, rolling your back and feeling things pop back into proper alignment, “I haven’t slept that well in… Maybe ever?”

You looked over at the two identical looking mares on either side of you as they stirred. Sunlight streamed through the curtains to cast shafts of light across the room.

“Not feeling like garbage as soon as I wake up, check. Sexy girl, er, mare next to me, double check. Dick still attached,” you had to check on that one. You were still numb from last night, “Check. Now which one of you is the real one?”

“Which one do you think?” the one on the left asked, giggling.

“Well I would have guessed you were the impostor since the real Cornflower is so adorably shy,” you taunted, poking her snout with a finger, “but my bug snores like a chainsaw, and only one of you did that.”

You glanced over at the guilty party, zeroing in on the mare to your right.

“I do not snore!” she scoffed, “Changelings don’t snore!”

“You sure seem to be doing a lot of things Changelings don’t do, bugbutt.”

“S-Shut up!” she whined, punching weakly at you. She lit her horn as a green wave brought her back to her native form.

“Oh come on, I think it’s cute.”

“Changelings aren’t cute! We’re fierce, scary creatures. I could… I could bite you!”

“Cornflower, are you scared of this silly bug?” you ask, rolling Metamora on top of you.

“Um… Not really, she’s kind of…” she chose her sentiment carefully, “…nice.”

“Aargh, let go of me!” Metamora squirmed, forcing you to take action and start tickling her, “Anon s-stop!”

“Oh my god you are just too cute.”

“Anon I swear to the hive if you don’t-”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath, “Em… Time to be Assh-atlas again.”

You realized there was another complication.

“And you…” you paused, looking at Cornflower, “Hmm… Threesome?”

You glanced between Cornflower, who was blushing wildly, and Atlas, who looked equally surprised, before making up your mind.

“Yeah. Definitely threesome.”

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

“Jesus fuck, hold on!” you yelled, jumping up and rapidly donning your pants, “Be there in a fucking minute.”

You trudged to the door, whipping it open furiously to stare down at the two diminutive mares outside your door.

“Twilight? Rarity? What are you doing here?”

“We just wanted to come check in on you guys,” Twilight answered, “You know, make sure you’re settling in, doing okay, all that.”

“Yes, darling. We wanted to make sure you weren’t lonely,” Rarity hummed, “Although I’m sure you and Atlas are keeping one another company.”

Was she trying to say what you think she was trying to say?

“And if you weren’t too busy we wanted to introduce you to the rest of the girls,” Twilight added, her excitement at showing you off to her friends slightly concerning. By this time Atlas and Cornflower had made their way to the door, with the latter seeming to consider if it were possible to sneak by you without anyone noticing. Her hopes were quickly dashed.

“Cornflower, what are you doing here?” Rarity asked, noticing the timid mare.

“I uh…” she squeaked, “…gotta go!”

“Oh don’t be silly, I haven’t seen you in so long!” Rarity laughed, “Wait, these two aren’t giving you trouble are they?”

“Rarity,” you interrupt, “We fucked. Me, Cornflower, Atlas. Threesome.”

“Anon you tease, you’ll embarrass the poor mare! She’s very timid, you know. And she only likes mares anyway.”

“Well actually I-” Cornflower tried.

“You don’t need to be ashamed, Anon,” Rarity continued, “We are very open about sexual orientation.”

“I’m not fucking gay!” you yell.

“S-Sorry…” Rarity apologized, looking away, “I know it’s a sensitive subject. I won’t pry any further.”

“Hiya!” the pink pony yelled, bouncing - yes, bouncing - toward you down the street.

“Anon, This is Pinkie Pie. She’s,” Twilight paused, “Very excitable.”

She landed in front of you, staring up at you and taking a deep breath in.

“Hi! You’re so interesting. I’ve never met a human! How did you get here? Wait! Why are you here? What’s your favorite color? Did anyone throw you a party yet? Can I do it? I really love parties! It’s my special talent! I’ve even got this cannon and everything. Anyway, I keep talking about myself like a silly filly but what I really want to know is all about you. Tell me eeeeeeverything!”

“I uh…”

“Don’t answer. She’s used to it.” Rarity explained, “Smile and nod.”

“Ooh, you’re some kinda quiet type! Are you the shy, bashful type or the spooky, mysterious type. You seem more like the shy, bashful type. Although you could just be mysterious enough that even the mystery is a mystery - how scary! Anyway you’re kinda cute. It’s a shame that, well I mean… I know a lot of mares that wouldn’t mind. But that’s okay. Nobody respects personal space and choices more than Pinkamena Diane Pie! That’s me, but I go by Pinkie except for when I’m feeling really really sad. So what do you say, want to be friends? We can have parties, and throw parties, and maybe do some pranks in between parties and did I mention PARTIES?”

“Are you alright in the head?” you ask bluntly, tilting your head in confusion.

“Funny you should ask because I actually hear that one a lot! It’s a really interesting story actually I-”

“Oh shoot, Pinkie. Turns out we’re out of time!” Twilight interrupts, saving you from another onslaught, “Have to go see everyone else. We’ll talk about party plans later! Promise!”

“Well if you ain’t a tall fella, I’ll eat mah hat,” the orange earth pony started, looking you over.

“Uh…” you stumbled, “howdy?”

“Howdy’s right pardner! I’m Applejack, fren’liest apple farmer y’all ever gon’ meet.”

“Apple farmer?”

“Yeah,” she assented, materializing one from thin air, “Want one?”

“Where’d you…” you wondered for a moment, quickly dismissing it cause magic, “…yeah sure.”

“Here y’go then, first one’s on the house but you’ll be buyin’ more from mah shop ‘fore ya know it.”

“I still uh… have no clue how buying things works here.”

“That’s right, Twilight done said ya got telepoof’d inta our world here, right Twi?”

“Yeah, from my analysis and the latest-”

“Right! So what brings ya to my farm, sugarcube?”

“Well Twilight wanted to show me around to all of her friends. I dunno, probably thinks I’m spending too much time cooped up with Atlas.”

“That sounds like her,” Applejack started, “No offense Twi, but ya tend to have trouble lettin’ things be. If Anon’s happy with Atlas then ya sure ain’t need ta try ‘n change ‘em.”

“Wait you’re not saying-” you asked, “Atlas, why do they all think-”

“You’re surprised, after everything that’s happened,” Atlas asked, “You’re surprised that people think you root for the home team?”

“I don’t- Atlas, come on! You’re not-”

“Oh come on now, pardner. It’s one thing ta be apprehensive ‘bout yer own feelin’s but ta put down somepony else just cause yer embarrassed,” Applejack chided, “T’aint right.”

“Can we just drop it?” you asked, effectively admitting defeat.

“Fine, sugarcube. It was nice meetin’ ya. Anyway I gotta be off to the fields again!”

“Oh… My…” the pink-maned pegasus whispered as you approached.

“Now Anon, this is Fluttershy,” Twilight started, introducing her with all the tact of pointing out a stray cat, “She’s very timid, so please try not to upset her.”

“Oh my god you’re fucking adorable!” you yell, “Can I pick you up?”

“Meep?” she squealed, shrinking to the ground so you couldn’t do as you asked.

“Anon,” Atlas chided, “Calm down. You’re spooking her.”

“S-Sorry… It’s just that you’re so cute! I just want to hug you.”

“You want to…” she blushed, “before marriage?”

“Wait did you actually just ask if I wanted to hug before marriage?”

“I-I know it’s unconventional, but my parents raised me to be a good filly. I made a promise to myself that I’d save myself for him. …Whoever he is.”

“That’s kind of disgusting,” you admit, off-put by her pseudo-religious fervor.

“Hey,” she admonished in a brief moment of courage before her voice faltered, “You don’t see me making fun of you for your… for your…”

“For my what?”

“I promised Twilight I would be tolerant! It’s not Celestia’s way! You can’t raise a foal like that!”

“Fluttershy, are you calling me gay?”

“I’m sorry I… this all makes me really uncomfortable and I don’t like talking about it and can we maybe just not? Please? Sorry?”

“What is it with you fucking ponies?” you asked angrily, “Every fucking one of you thinks I’m fucking gay and it’s driving me up a fucking wall. What do I have to do to prove myself to you?”

She froze in terror, your anger kicking off the first steps of her fight-or-flight reflex.

“Do I have to fucking drop my pants right here and fuck all of you to prove that I’m not fucking gay?”

You didn’t even see Fluttershy disappear, you just noticed a pink and yellow trail vanish into the Everfree.

“Sweet Celestia, Anon…” Twilight sighed, “You really did it this time.”

“Well,” Rarity also sighed, “Let’s go find her before she gets herself stuck in something again.”

Just you and Atlas left, no more ponies to call you gay, no more mistaken sexuality, no more having to think about Atlas’s dick.

“God, every color in the fucking rainbow and they’re all more judgmental than a Baptist at an abortion clinic.”

“Speaking of, where is Rainbow-”

Crash-

“Heh, don’t worry - I’m insured!” the freshly crashed pegasus chuckled, dusting herself off.

“Rainbow Dash, are you alright?” Atlas called out.

“Yeah I-” she paused, redirecting her focus to you, “Hey, you’re that human! Neat! Twilight told me I needed to meet you.”

“Yep. That's me, the only one of me around.”

“Are you-”

“I’m not gay.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not gay. I fucked a mare. It was great. Her name was Cornflower. I came inside of her. She enjoyed it. So don’t call me fucking gay, please please please don’t call me gay.”

“Dude! You fucked Cornflower?” Rainbow Dash asked, “Me too! I mean, I knew she swung both ways but… Fuckin brohoof, dude.”

She held out her hoof, waiting for you to do… something. What, though. You had no idea what a brohoof was, and it sounded kinda gay. So you did the only thing you could think of and punched her outstretched hoof. That’s the least gay thing you could have done. Except to your chagrin, it seems that was exactly what she wanted. Fuck!

“So real talk, do you swing both ways, or does Atlas usually have you all to himself.”

“Hey, Rainbow,” you pause, “You seem like the least patronizing of everyone I’ve met today so can you hear me out for just a second?”

“Yeah dude,” she agreed.

“I’m not gay. Like in the slightest. Literally zero dick-to-butt interest. Nada, zip, zilch. Only pussy on my radar. Capisce?”

“Wait you’re… But you and Atlas are so close…” she paused, “Does Atlas know?”

“Hey Atlas, do you think I’m gay?”

“What, huh? Of course I do,” he started, “Wait… am I supposed to?”

“No Atlas! You know I’m fucking straight! What the fuck, bro?”

“Sorry… not quite paying attention,” he joked, “Busy thinking about your dick.”

“Dude, not cool!” you shouted, “You’re embarrassing me in front of Rainbow Dash. And she’s like the only cool one!”

Rainbow beamed.

“Alright, alright…” he acquiesced, “Yes, of course I know you’re straight.”

“Great. Well if you two are through with your sweet moment, I gotta jet. Only a few more hours of daylight and I still have so many stunts to try!”

“Bye Dash!” Atlas offered, waving as she takes off.

Ugh. That was, by your count, all six. Which means mission finally accomplished.

“Hey Anon,” Atlas piped up, now that you were finally alone.

“What?”

“You’re a faggot.”