Derp Souls

by Jork

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Doctor Whooves, Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 6577

The adventures of Ditzy Doo in Dark Souls.

Ditzy Doo is super excited have gotten her hands on the game Dark Souls. Unfortunately, when an explosion at the Ponyville library, Ditzy is transported from Ponyville to the dark land of never-ending death called Lordran. Now, Ditzy sets off on a quest to save Lordran, and find her way home, even if she doesn't exactly know where she's going. And on the way, she will die, many, many times....

And then Doctor Whooves showed up.

Comments and critiques are always welcome!

Image courtesy of Not

Published 2011-12-11 07:15:39 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-14 03:31:54 UTC

Prologue

I own neither My Little Pony or Dark Souls just in case you thought I did.

Derp Souls

Prologue

“In the age of Ancients,
the world was unformed, shrouded by fog.
A land of grey crags, archtrees, and everlasting dragons.
But then there was Fire.
And with Fire, came Disparity.
Heat, and cold,
life, and death.
And of course... Light, and Dark.
Then, from the Dark, They Came,
And found the Souls of Lords within the Flame.
Nito, the first of the dead,
the Witch of Izalith, and her Daughters of Chaos,
Gwyn, the Lord of Sunlight, and his faithful knights,
and the furtive pony, so easily forgotten.
With the Strength of Lords, they challenged the dragons.
Gwyn’s mighty bolts peeled apart their stone scales.
The witches weaved great firestorms.
Nito unleashed a miasma of death and disease.
And Seath the Scaleless betrayed his own, and the dragons were no more.
Thus began the Age of Fire.
But soon, the flames will fade, and only Dark will remain.
Even now, there are only embers,
And ponies see not light, but only endless nights.
And amongst the living are seen, carriers of the accursed Darksign.”

“Okay, enough of the talking Mr. Dark Souls, let’s get started.” Ditzy Doo did a double check of her supplies for what she planned on being a long night: “Bowl of muffins filled, glass of apple juice and accompanying carton stocked, lets do this!”
As Ditzy looked over the character creation menu, she remembered what she had heard that a Pyromancer was a good class for beginners. With her class selected, she started fiddling with the various sliders, trying to create a reasonable facsimile of herself, though without her walleyes. As she finished her in-game preparations by choosing a master key as her starting gift, she started her adventure in Dark Souls in earnest.

3 days later

“Hey Pinkie Pie, I got a package I need you to sign today!” Shouted the gray mailmare as she walked into Sugarcube Corner. “If you could ju- OH GOD!”
“Sure, I’ll sign for it!” Came the response from the pink party pony who had suddenly appeared beside her. “OH, I forgot, Twilight wanted to see if she could help you with your eyes, she said she found some old spell in a book of hers that-.”

“I told you Pinkie, I’m fine with my eyes the way they are, even if I can only focus one, I’m able to see almost as well as any other pony.”

“Oked-dokey, just offering! I’m heading off to Twilight’s place to help her get something big together for Princess Celestia’s birthday party!” And with that, the pink party pony was off.

With her deliveries finished for the day, Ditzy Doo set off for home, she was looking forward to playing some more Dark Souls. As she made her way to the post fffice, there was a loud bang and then saw a strange rainbow colored bubble expanding from the Library. As it washed over her, Ditzy collapsed in a heap.

The Asylum

Chapter 1

The Asylum

On the roof of the prison known as the Northern Undead Asylum a heavily armored earth pony was carrying a cart of desiccated corpses; stopping occasionally to open up a grate and throw one in.

“They just had to send me to the asylum this year, didn’t they. I know that I’m not the most well loved pony in the battalion, but this assignment is just mean.” The Asylum was, as the name implies, where the undead were put so as not to harm anypony. The army had tried to kill the walking corpses, which the populace had taken to calling Hollows, when they’d first started popping up, but the damned things never stayed dead. The solution had been to just dump them off in any of the abandoned castles around the country and just let them kill each other over and over again.

The Northern Asylum itself stood on a plateau that jutted out a mile into the air, only accessible via flight. It was a large castle, formerly the residence of the ruler of some now non-existent country nearby. While he may have been the only guard actually stationed in the asylum proper, there were several sharpshooters and mages stationed nearby that kept an eye out for any hollow pegasi that tried to escape via the air.

The soldier assigned to guard the place could care less though; all he wanted was to finish his year long assignment here. “Only three more days” He grumbled as he dumped the desiccated corpse of a pegasus covered in rags into a cell and closed the grate above. As he walked away, the corpse began to stir.

“Oh Luna. My head. What happened?” Getting to her hooves, Ditzy noticed she was covered in several layers of raggedy clothing. “And why am I wearing these rags? Did I sleepwalk my way into poverty? ” Looking around, Ditzy saw that she was in a dank stone cell. “Where am I?” As she finally got to her hooves, Ditzy began to walk around her cell, and noticed a face down corpse next to her. Ditzy stood, staring at her deceased cell mate.

“That is in no way a promising way to start today...” Ditzy looked around for any guards she could implore to remove the corpse from her cell. The lack of any was worrying. “I’m sure they’re just out to lunch. They wouldn’t just leave a prisoner to rot in a cell forever right? I mean, Equestria has due process; I’m guaranteed a fair trial.” She reassured herself, trying to keep from panicking.

Looking over the room again, she noticed that a key was lying next to the corpse. Slowly walking towards it, Ditzy made sure to keep an eye on the corpse; she didn't completely trust that it wasn't going to attack her. Grabbing the key in her mouth, Ditzy tried it on the door.

“You have got to be kidding me...” As the dumbfounded pegasus walked out of her cell and into the stone hallway beyond, she saw that several nearly naked and malnourished ponies leaning against the wall. “Hello, I’m Ditzy Doo, and I was wondering who’s running this place, I need to ask them abou-OH SWEET CELESTIA!”

The pony that Ditzy had been talking to had suddenly started flailing its hooves at her. Looking around for an exit, she saw some stairs further down the hallway. Rushing towards them, she opened her wings and started to fly, heading straight up the staircase, bypassing the stairs themselves.

Landing at the top of the stairway, Ditzy was greeted an archway leading towards a gray and barren courtyard with a bonfire speared by a strange sword in the center and a large door on the opposite side. Looking back to see where her pursuer was, she was relieved to see that he had not given chase. Heading into the courtyard, Ditzy sat down at the bonfire, for the first time realizing that she was quite cold. As she sat down, she felt a sense of safety to go along with the warmth that was spreading through her body.

After warming herself up, Ditzy headed to the rather foreboding doors on the other side of the courtyard. As she placed her hooves on the doors and started to push, the doors refused to budge.

“Come on, let me in.” Ditzy growled, pushing harder, throwing both her weight and as much power as her wings could provide into it. And slowly, the door gave way, yawning and protesting as though it had not been opened in centuries, and behind it was...

Nothing, just an empty hall with a high vaulted ceiling, a bunch of pots, and an even larger door on the other side. “Hello, is anypony here?” Ditzy inquired, walking in. “I would really like to know what’s going on.” She muttered as she reached the center of the room, lowering her head with the realization that there was probably nopony here who could help her...

“Well, might as well try the- OH SWEET CHIRPING CELESTIA!” A large ugly demon had landed in front of her with an earthshaking thud. The thing was easily 10 feet tall, with wrinkled, leathery green and gray skin. Its body was shaped like a pear, fat at the bottom, getting skinnier at the top, with a comparatively tiny head. Large bone spikes protruded from its hide at odd angles, and it had a VERY big hammer. “Ummm, sir, are you by chance the person running this prison?” Ditzy asked sheepishly.

It was only thanks to her quick reflexes that Ditzy avoided the demon's response.

“I’m going to say no” she said after dodging a hammer strike that had almost flattened her. The stone floor where she had been standing was cracked and the demon was lifting its hammer for another blow. Looking around for a place to run, Ditzy spotted a doorway on the left side of the hall. Springing towards its relative safety, she managed to run headfirst into one of the numerous pots standing in the hall, shattering it and knocking herself to the ground. “Dang depth perception!” She exclaimed as she quickly picked herself up and moved around the pots and into the door, which closed with a reassuring finality as she crossed the threshold.

Heading down the staircase that she had wandered into, Ditzy found herself in a dank cellar with another sword speared bonfire in the center. After taking some time to rest, she headed off through the only other door, but not before noticing that somepony had written something on the ground in a weird glowing ink.

“Look out for the archer?” Walking out of the cellar into an open air hallway, Ditzy wondered who would have written such a strange-

*THUNK*

“AHHH!” Ditzy screamed as an arrow struck her right shoulder. Dashing back into the cellar, the injured Pegasus looked at her wound. For some reason, it wasn’t bleeding through her rags, but she still wanted to see if it was okay. As she took off the rags on her leg, she was greeted by a very unexpected sight.

“I... I look like Granny Smith!” Ditzy tore off the rags she still had on and ran to the pool of water in the center of the room. Her surprised description, while not completely accurate, was somewhat appropriate. Her once light gray skin was now covered in wrinkles and colored a dull black, her irises the same hue. Her hair though had retained its blond color. The strangest part of her new look was her cutie mark. The bubbles which had once adorned her flank had been replaced with a strange red ring which appeared to be on fire. As she stared with horror at what she had become, she had the strangest feeling déjà vu..

Putting those thoughts out of her mind, and her rags back on, Ditzy looked out to try to see the pony who had shot her. Focusing her eyes as hard as she could, she could barely make out an earth pony on the far end of the hallway, some 40 feet ahead. Her other eye wandered around, and fixed itself on an open cell.

“Okay, so, fly left into the cell, then run past the archer, trying to avoid his arrows.” With those words she came to a much more useful realization. “or I could just fly out of here.” Her plan of attack settled, Ditzy ran out into the hallway, and jumped, starting to gain air just as an arrow lodged itself in her flank, sending her into a spinning dive towards the ground.

*CRASH*

Ditzy began to think that maybe she should just lie down for a minute, but an arrow flying over her head dashed any hopes of rest. Once on her hooves, Ditzy ran for the cell she saw earlier, but not before taking another arrow to the knee. “That danged archer is just too good a shot.” She complained as she collapsed in the cell, deciding to take a second to catch her breath before moving to look outside. As she stared at her new found nemesis from around the corner of the cell door, her hoof struck something. Looking down, she saw an axe and a cracked round wooden shield. “I guess this could be helpful.” Grabbing the axe in her mouth and putting the shield onto her foreleg, she prepared herself, if that pony was going to attack her, she might as well return the favor.

“3... 2... 1... GO!”

Ditzy Doo sprinted out of the cell, making a beeline for the archer. As her target fired an arrow at her, Ditzy jumped up and used her wings to launch herself over the projectile, and landed with her new axe bisecting her opponent.

While she didn't take pride in the violence she had inflicted on the other pony, she was just defending herself. heading through the door to her left and up the stairs beyond, Ditzy ran straight into a strangely solid wall of fog. Picking herself up off the floor, she approached it slowly, reaching a hoof up to it. As it came to where she thought it would rest, it instead passed through, with the rest of Ditzy following through in heap.

“Dear Celestia above, I swear, this is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me.” Ditzy had come to a balcony overlooking the courtyard she had been in mere minutes ago, with a hallway to her left and right. After ascertaining that the left hall contained nothing but a locked door, she set off to the right. Heading up the staircase she had found, a strange noise came out from above

*CLICK*

at which point a large boulder deposited itself momentarily on top of the stairway before rolling down the staircase and towards Ditzy. Despite her best efforts to avoid it, the rock still ended up rolling into her, and carrying her with it through the wall opposite the staircase.

As she came to her senses, the former mailmare got to her hooves and looked around, muttering to herself, “I swear this isn’t the first time that’s happened to me...” As she finished, she spotted an armored Stallion laying on a bed of rocks with what appeared to be broken legs.

Grabbing her axe, Ditzy moved forward to see what was going on. “Hello there sir, ummm, you aren’t crazy are you?”

“I should ask the same of you, you’re the first hollow I’ve seen in a long while that can speak coherently, and the first ever that could do so in your current state.” Came the reply. “If I were a religious pony, I’d be inclined to say that you’re that prophesied pony who’s supposed to stop the Darksign from spreading.”

“Ummmm, what’s a hollow?”

“You know, an undead like you.”

“But I wasn’t like this before, I woke up in this dungeonandIwasall-”

“Please ma’am I can see that you’re lucid, so take your time, I’m obviously not going anywhere” He motioned towards his legs, three of which were broken. “and I’ve honestly been bored to tears even before my recent immobility, so why don’t you sit down and I’ll tell you what I can.”

“Okay mister....” Looking around, Ditzy saw that she had landed in a small stone room, with the boulder lieing still next to her impromptu archway, and the colt at the other end on top of a heap of rocks with the sun beaming down on his face. The colt himself was wearing thick plate armor, dinged and oxidized over years of abuse, but still looking like it was in good enough shape to stop any manner of assault, and covering him entirely

“So you hurt your legs when you fell from up there?”

“Yes I did, now, I think you were going to ask me some questions about where you are, and I honestly have a few for you. You go ahead though, mine can wait.”

“Ummm, okay mister, where am I?”

“This is the Eastern Undead Asylum, where the hollows who’ve become a threat to society are put so they don’t hurt the living.”

“Oh yeah, you said I was one of those hollow things, but why?”

“Well, you died, and then came back of course” Was this strange hollow really as dim as she seemed?

“But I didn’t, and why would I come back anyways?”

“You’ve seen the sign that’s replaced your cutie mark correct?”

“Yeah, what’s that got to do with it?”

“It’s called the Darksign, it’s an evil brand that brings the living back from the dead, each time madder than the last.”

“Wait, is that what happened to the other ponies in here?”

“Yes it was, but at this point, they aren’t even ponies anymore, just corpses re-animated by some vile black magic... Present company excluded of course.”

“But why do you put them here? I mean, I killed one on the way here.” Ditzy gave a slight shudder, she didn’t like thinking about killing another pony.

“Ah, but only for now, soon it will come back, angrier than ever. Only a few of them are ever really killed, generally those ponies who posses a stronger spirit.”

“Okay, but what about me, I mean, what if I die, do I start to go insane too?” Ditzy was very much opposed to this idea, she liked her the way she was.

“I have no idea, I’d say yes, but then, you’re the first hollow I’ve seen here to be so cogent.”

“HEY, just because I’m all wrinkly doesn’t mean you have to be rude!”

“Oh no, no, I’m saying you’re the first hollow I’ve seen here that I’ve been able to carry on a conversation with.”

Ditzy thought about what the stallion was saying while he rummaged through his pockets for something, wondering whetheror not to believe this strange pony when...

“Here, I know hollows love these things, it’s an bag of Estus Muffins.”

“Did you say muffins?” Now this she could understand.

Chuckling to himself, the guard responded “Yes I did, and they’re yours if you want, I just want to ask a favor of you, okay?”

“Okay, now give me those muffins.” She said, grabbing the dark green bag out of his hooves grabbing two of the five muffins in the bag and scarfing them down. As she ate, she began to feel a bit better, and the places where she’d gotten shot with those arrows before started to feel better.

“So, what sort of favor did you want?” said the pegasus through a mouthful of muffin.

“I was hoping you could head out to front of the building and tell the guard posted there that I need some help.” It wasn’t a very good lie, but he figured it was more believable than telling her that he was hoping that a messenger from the gods was going to carry her away to fulfill the destiny of the chosen undead to rid the land of hollows. Given her lack of understanding about the world, he figured that the Darksign had probably taken it’s toll more on her memory than her sanity.

“Okay mister, I’ll be back in a jiff...” Ditzy Doo made for the hole her entrance had made, when she stopped and turned around. “Wait, what about that big guy in the hall? How am I supposed to get past him?”

“Oh yes, the Asylum Demon, he’s another guard, though he would probably be better described as a guard dog, not very bright, but he hates hollows something fierce. I don’t think you’re gonna be able to reason with him, and if you try to fly there, there are mages and archers that wouldn’t think twice about shooting down a flying hollow.”

“Ohhh, dang it, now what am I going to do.” Ditzy Doo lowered her head, trying to think of a plan.

“You said you took out a hollow earlier right? You could just try fighting him. He may look tough, but he’s slower than a snail, just keep an eye out for his attacks and you could just hit him with your axe until he stops moving.”

“I guess that sounds like a plan.” whined Ditzy Doo, she didn’t want to think about getting hit by that hammer, but this pony needed her help, and by golly she was going to help him.

As he watched Ditzy Doo leave, the guard layed his head back and looked up into the sun, ignoring the blood that was dripping from the large gash on his head. His armor had kept his blood from spilling everywhere, but he knew he wasn’t going to make it.

Using his one good hoof to drag his dagger over to him, he took it into his mouth, and when he was sure Ditzy was out of range, he bit down on it, holding it perpendicular to the ground, and drove it down.

As Ditzy Doo went up the stairs, she heard a click, but when no boulder came to crush her, she chalked it up to her imagination, along with the chunk sound that followed. As she went through the door at the top of the steps, she came across another note on the ground.

“Magic ahead? That doesn’t help me, I’m not a unicorn.” Heading onto the balcony in front of her, she was greeted by a gorgeous view. Far ahead, mountains rose miles into the air, while a forest covered the ground below, and even more wondrous sights which she didn’t see because a knife had just stuck itself in her chest.

“Well buck me, that hurt, come here you jerk!” She said as she launched herself a few feet into the air and down onto her attacker, much as she had the last. As she got up, another knife came for her, sticking itself into her flank before being ripped out. “Jerk.” She grunted as she turned to face her assailant.

He looked almost identical to the hollow she had just killed, though the archer who was behind him worried her. As she retreated back to the stairwell, she thought about what to do, and grabbed a muffin from her bag and took a bite. As she swallowed, she felt her wounds closing up, and her weariness disappear.

Unfortunately, the hollow who’s friend Ditzy had just killed wasn’t about to let her get away, having come to the doorway in front of her. As he swung for her, Ditzy placed the shield on her hoof in front of the incoming strike, deflecting it, but not without sending the shock of the blow up her arm. Before she could recover, the hollow struck again, glancing off the axe in her mouth and knocking it down the stairs.

While backpedaling towards where her axe had landed, the hollow took its chance and lunged for Ditzy. He would have ended up killing her if a gout of flame hadn’t come from Ditsy’s hoof and burned it’s face off, surprising both the hollow and Ditzy herself.

As the limp body of the hollow slid down the stairs, Ditzy stared at her hoof, wondering how she had summoned fire from it. As she pondered, trying to wrap her mind around a pegasus using magic, flame once again burst from her hoof, nearly hitting her in the face and singing part of her mane.

“How the heck do I control this?” She mused as she went down the stairs to pick up her dropped axe. As she climbed back up, she noticed another note on the ground, this one reading: “think of fire to summon the same”

“Oh come on, I’m supposed to believe that just by thinking of fi-” another stream of flame silenced her disbelief. “Well then...”

Venturing back onto the balcony, Ditzy locked onto the archer who had been backing up her two previous attackers and decided to try her new found pyromantic talents. Taking to the air, she flew above him, and sent a stream of fire towards the hollow before he could even nock an arrow. As she landed, Ditzy came to another wall of fog. Trying the same tactic as last time, she slowly put her hoof through, making sure to not fall through this time.

She came out on a balcony above the hall she had found that large demon in, she was certain of it, not the least because it was still there. Ditzy stared at the demon as it reciprocated, both of them trying to figure out how to attack the other. Unfortunately, the demon seemed to show as much disdain for the laws of physics as for her, jumping far higher than anything with its physique should have been able to, and swinging its hammer down on both Ditzy and the balcony she was sitting on.

Ditzy woke up next to the bonfire in the cellar, with a massive headache, a sore body, and a boatload of questions. Unfortunately, given the lack of people to ask them to, she mentally put them aside and took stock of her surroundings. It was the same cellar she had first seen her decayed body in, of that she was certain. Getting to her hooves, she went out into the hallway and was again greeted by an arrow, this time to the head.

“What the hay, I thought I killed you?” Ditzy quickly started running towards the archer hollow who was defiantly alive at the end of the hallway. Dodging the arrows sent her way, she once again cleaved the hollow in two. Ignoring the corpse in front of her, she set off up the stairway, through the archway were the fog gate had been noticing that the wall the boulder had knocked out, as well as the boulder, were still in the same place she left them, though the stallion was gone.

Heading up the stairs and onto the balcony again, she took out the three hollows waiting for her fairly easily, flames for the two with the knives, and an axe to the midsection for the archer. Still wondering why these ponies were back, she noticed that the balcony was still missing, and the fog gate was gone.

“Do I really want to fight that thing, I mean I can just fly over this balcony and head down to the place just outside the door.” Deciding that was the best course of action, she took flight and was swiftly shot down by the archers that the guard had mentioned.

Waking up once again in front of the cellar bonfire, Ditzy quickly made her back to the balcony, taking out the requisite hollows without too much difficulty, and decided to try and go for the demon in the hall this time. Flying into the hall, she launched several balls of fire at it, dodging a swing from it’s hammer and continuing her assault. At least, until the fire stopped coming. Looking confusedly down at her hooves which had moments before been spewing molten death, she was knocked out of both her confusion and the sky by one swing of the demon’s hammer.

Quickly getting up before another blow hit her, Ditzy walked back while grabbing a muffin from her bag, hoping it would heal her wounds like it had before. The lifting pain told her she was correct, and she took to the air to attempt something else. Going straight above the demon’s head, she dove straight down, axe held parallel to the ground, blade down, and landed with explosive force, splitting the demon’s head in two and showing her with its black blood.

Jumping off of the demon’s head and onto the ground in front of it, she felt herself getting stronger, but put it out of her mind when she noticed that the demon had dropped a key. Grabbing it, she stuck it into the lock on the door she had been attempting to get through this whole time and walked out onto a cliff overlooking the same gorgeous view she had been admiring before getting stabbed earlier.

As she took her time to look over the forests below, she heard a loud squawk, and saw a giant crow come down from above, grab her in its talons and swiftly carry her away, taking a few arrows from the archer guards, but not seeming to mind. After a minute of fruitless struggling, Ditzy realized that she wasn't going to be able to extricate herself from the large bird's grip. While not exactly pleased with her situation, the relative calm of the trip gave her some time to think over what she had just been through, trying to piece together what was going on, and what was behind her recurring déjà vu. Thinking back to what had happened just before she had woken up in a cell, she felt a sinking feeling in her chest.

“I’m in Dark Souls aren’t I?” She sighed, crossing her forelegs as the crow cum shuttle took her to wherever it was going.

______________________________________

Big thanks to Not for editing help!

Stitches of Flame

Chapter 2

Stitches of Flame

The crow carrying Ditzy Doo (who she had decided to refer to as Rustle) started to slow and descend, snapping the disgruntled and confused pegasus out of a rather interesting conversation with herself. Coming to a stop a few feet above the ground, Rustle opened his talons and let Ditzy drop to the ground.

Looking around, Ditzy found herself in what seemed to have been a sanctuary some time ago, but was now crumbling and decayed. She was in the center of a depression with another bonfire. To the north was a building that may have once been a small throne room, with a tower behind it. to the right of that was a large hall open to the air. Behind the throne room was a staircase leading to a graveyard. To the right was a well and a staircase seemingly carved into the side of the cliff that terminated the plateau.

An impossibly large tree stood off the cliff to her left, next to a staircase leading down to a mezzanine with another staircase on the other side. As Ditzy was heading towards the staircase, she heard a terrible grinding sound, slowly cycling and getting louder. As she looked around for the source, she saw a strange blue box slowly fading in, pulsing in rhythm with the noise. As the box solidified, one of its sides swung open like a door, and out walked a brown colt with an hourglass cutie mark.

"I know you, you’re that one weird pony who goes around calling himself The Doctor aren’t you? How did you end up here?” Even if she didn’t really know him, Ditzy was glad to see a somewhat familiar face.

“Well my dear, ummm...”

“Ditzy Doo.” The conversation already off to a smashing stop.

“Yes, well my dear Ditzy Doo, that question unfortunately raises many more, some of which I cannot answer. Regardless, I shall attempt to do so. Firstly, yes, I am the Doctor, and right now I’m dealing with one of the sickest patients I have ever encountered. I’m here to see if I can get him working right before the entire thing shatters and kills everything everywhere, and most things in some nowheres.”

Her face bearing a look that spoke volumes about her inability to understand this strange new pony, Ditzy settled on asking the most obvious question. “I don’t see any sick ponies around here though, where is he?”

“Where’s who?”

“Your patient.”

“He’s right here!”

“But where?!”

“Oh, yes, sorry, it was a figure of speech, this entire dimension is falling apart is what I’m saying. The fabric of this reality is becoming undone and if that happens, then that whole everything and most nothings going away part happens.”

“But why?”

“Hmmmm, let me put it this way.” the Doctor picked up a stick and started drawing several parallel lines in the dirt. “This is what the flow of time looks like in most dimensions. Well, not really but for our purposes this is what it looks like, each person’s perception of time flows in sync with the others. Now this:” He then scratched another group of lines, these ones curving and intersecting in seemingly random patterns, but gathering on a few nodes. “Now this is what the flow of time looks like in this dimension. Again, not really but if I tried to explain the dynamics of relative time streams we’d be here till the end of everything, which is about 3 months from now. Suffice it to say, if this dimension fully shatters, then the shards will tumble around the void between dimensions, crashing into everything else and destroying any sense of dimensional isolation. Again, not literally, but that’s the easiest way to explain it.”

“WHAT!”

“What I’m trying to say is that this dimension is falling apart and if it does so, the entire multiverse, that’s the all of the everythings and some of the nothings I was talking about earlier, is going to go down with it. And so, I’m here to try and fix this place.”

“But how did we get here?”

“I believe it had something to do with the explosion that originated at the library back in Ponyville. I was passing through when it hit, and I think it knocked your dimension straight into this one, which would be why everyone here is a pony.”

“But then what about Equestria, is it still there?

“Most likely, though I can’t exactly risk breaking through a dimensional barrier this fragile to just check up on something like that. Now then, luckily I have a plan to fix this. Unfortunately, that plan involves finding where this dimension started breaking apart. So I’m off!”

Before Ditzy could get a word in edgewise, The Doctor had entered his blue box, which then gave off the same horrific screeching sound and slowly disappeared

After a few seconds passed, the noise began again, and the blue box faded in. As the door opened, a heavily scarred and somewhat frazzled looking Doctor stepped out.

“Well then, that was an eventful week... I think. Ah, Ditzy, good to see you, I’ve got some good new and some bad news.”

“What’s the-”

“The good news is that I found out what the trouble is with this place!”

“What’s that?!”

“Why it’s starting to get cold, simple as that, well, not really. Basically, this dimension is highly magical, and one of the magical elements here, fire to be exact, is slowly going out. All we have to do is light some big bonfire in some mystical temple and everything will be right as rain. If I’m right, that is.”

Ditzy Doo had no idea what this colt was blabbering on about, but at this point, she decided to just let him ramble until he told her what he wanted, except there was one thing that still bugged her.

“Wait, but this place is exactly like that video game I was playing, Dark Souls!”

“Really? That’s funny, if I had to guess, I’d say that this dimensions slow decay was letting imprints of itself radiate to others, like, well, radiation. I would assume that whoever made that game was quite literally copying this place.”

“Fine."

“What? That’s it? No protestations about the impossibility of this situation or who I am or anything?” The Doctor looked highly disappointed.

“Listen here mister, today I’ve been dumped into a real life video game, attacked by zombie ponies, died three times, killed a demon, shot fire out of my hoof, and been carried out of a prison by a giant crow, you’re ramblings are the second closest thing to sanity I’ve experienced all day. I figure either I’m dreaming or you’re right.”

“Well, okay then, let’s go find that mystical temple, I got some instructions from a big snake thing, called himself Frampt, seemed nice enough. He said we had to ring two bells, get something called a Lordvessel from a lost city, bring that to a shrine, then get some souls from some big baddies and dump them in there, then go to the temple that opens up and start a bonfire. When we do that, the supply of flame in this world will be restored and stitch this dimension back together, and Equestria should pop right back, taking you along with it. Sounds easy enough right?”

“Fine, let’s just get this- wait, you said something about some bad news, what was that?”

“Ah, well, see, my reconnaissance didn’t sit too well with this dimension, and it seems that we’ve got a bit less than the 3 months I had mentioned earlier...”

“How long do we have then?”

The Doctor produced a small metal rod from seemingly nowhere and waved it around as it made strange noises, examining only once the noise stopped.

“I’d say about 5 days.”

For the first time in years, Ditzy’s eyes both focused on one object. In this case, the Doctor was receiving the angriest glower he’d ever seen. It honestly frightened him a bit.

“Let’s just get going, you said we needed to ring some bells?” Ditzy's voice was accompanied by an angry growl

“Well, that’s another thing, I can’t come with you.” There was that stare again.

“Why?” Ditzy was thinking that she might be better off just roasting this strange pony with her new found fire magic.

“Well, you see that mark on your rump?”

“Yeah, another pony called it a Darksign and it's replaced my cutie mark, what of it?”

“Well, from what I’ve gathered, that mark makes you unable to stay dead for any significant amount of time, generally just bringing you back to the last nexus of flame you visited, and unfortunately, I seem to have been left out.” He pointed to his flank, adorned with an hourglass. “I’m afraid that if I go with you, I’ll most likely die and I can't afford to take the time out to regenerate right now. Someone has to stay here and make sure that this place doesn't decide to clock out early.”

Ditzy just sighed, however she felt about this pony, he was the only one who seemed to know what he was doing. “Fine, you just stay here, I’m going to go find those bells.” As she headed off towards the crumbling hallway, she lost herself in thoughts, going over the events of the day as she walked into the graveyard. She had just realized that she had forgotten to ask for directions from the doctor when a very large skeleton appeared in front of her and swung its similarly large sword into her, rendering her body rather unlivable.

“That’s not the way you fool!” The Doctor yelled at the blond mare as she headed North. After a minute, he decided to go after her. A second after that and Ditzy had appeared at the bonfire in the center of the garden in a heap. Getting up, she fixed her double eyed stare of doom on the Doctor, who sheepishly pointed up to the right towards a staircase built into a mountain.

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Big thanks again to Not for the editing help!