The Dragon I Was Meant to Be
Spike shifted the handle of his special toothbrush, moving it within his small mouth, the texture of the toothpaste lingering on his tongue. Foam began to form inside of his mouth, the paste seemingly transforming into a new substance. He placed his tongue on the few amount of teeth he had, his young age being a setback for him. Today was his big day, the day he became a man. He stood in front of the mirror above the sink and smiled at himself. He turned his head to see if anyone was watching, then flexed his arms. He could almost see Pinkie’s face again as he remembered he told Pinkie Pie that he did this long ago. He couldn’t really stop what he did, it boosted his confidence to compliment himself. Being a lad, he relied on the support of others. He reveled in the appreciation of the others around him, namely Rarity. Over the years, he had truly fallen for his ghost white equine friend, her beauty a marvel in his eyes. But beyond this, he loved her for the great heart she held within. To him, this is what made her beautiful. And today, he was determined to show her this. For this was the day that all of his dreams came true. Today was the day Spike and Rarity joined each other in the partnership in love, at least that is what was going to occur in his mind.
It had taken a few years for Spike to raise his confidence to a level he found to be acceptable for Rarity. Over this period, there were numerous attempts to take Rarity’s hoof and proclaim his love, and numerous times where he had chickened out. The few ponies that knew what he was planning on doing insulted him to no end due to his awkwardness. Although they only said the things that hurt him out of playfulness, it struck him deep inside of his chest.
“But today will be different!” He told himself. He flexed once more to the mirror and said to it, “You’re looking good Spike, looking real good!” While chuckling softly, Spike turned on the water to the faucet over the sink and washed away the remains of paste. he then lifted his head up to face the mirror and put on a toothy grin. He saw that his few teeth were now sparkling clean, and that he was now ready to go. Before he stepped off of the stool that allowed him to see the sink, Spike was forced to slowly lay his small feet on the leg of the furniture piece.
Spike gradually lowered himself until he was safely on the ground. He noticed that he still held his toothbrush within his claw, which lead to another chuckle from his chest. Rising to his tip-toes, he placed the brush on the edge of the sink. He watched it for a few seconds to see if it would stay, and to his enjoyment it did just that. Satisfied with his luck thus far, he turned around just to be eye to eye with his maternity mother, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight had always looked beautiful to Spike, but he most likely thought this because she was his mother. After all, she was the one who hatched him out of his egg. She told him before that if she didn’t, then he wouldn’t be around at all. Dragons apparently needed to be hatched by magic, which didn’t make much sense to him. Why were dragons much different then regular ponies? She had only laughed him off with a simple response,
“Spike, dragons are nothing like ponies! Our differences are just much too great!” Without realizing it, Twilight had hurt him that day. Ever since, Spike felt something burning in his chest, but never really knew exactly what it was. He guessed it was a feeling that he wanted to know more of his past, but always tossed it out of his mind. Whether he liked it or not, he was always going to be as much of a pony he could be.
As Spike was daydreaming about the past, Twilight had begun to get worried. One moment she asked him a question, the next he was in dreamland. She soon began to lightly tap his shoulder with her hoof while saying his name. After a second, he shook his head quickly, which put him into a daze. He mumbled something incomprehensible before she shushed him with her hoof. She gently smiled at him and said,
“Today is your day, Spike. I don’t really agree with what you want to do, but I can tell this is what you really want. I wish you luck Spike. I really hope Rarity can see how much you truly care for her. If she doesn’t... well, I’m always going to be here for you. Just, remember that, ok?” Spike could tell she added that last note with true sincerity, which built up a grin to his lips. He wrapped his arms around her neck tenderly and whispered back into her ear,
“I will Twi. Thank you for everything.” Spike then let go of the embrace and added, “Besides, how could Rarity say no after all we have been through?” Twilight smiled back at him, but he could see a faint glimpse of doubt on her face. No matter, he thought. He had confidence, and that is what matters. He was going to fulfill every dream he had since he was smaller. He was going to be happy with his love.
While opening the door to the bathroom, Spike turned back to Twilight and said,
“I’ll be back in a bit Twi. I promise to be back soon!” Now feeling the excitement inside of him bubbling, he ran out of the room and down the stairs to the front door.
“I am ready for this!” He said out loud. Putting his claw on the handle of the door, Spike slowly turned the handle and could see the outside world. Ponyville was truly a beautiful place, which reflected the happy thoughts that were racing through his mind. From the bright flowers on the ground to the delicate clouds, nothing could compare to the beauty of this town.
“And in a few minutes, I’ll be able to share this beauty!” He said audibly, which caught the attention to a few ponies on the road. They all looked at him with curious eyes, pondering with their minds why he would say such a thing. One pony out of the confused bunch replied to him,
“What are you yelling about?” Spike felt his cheeks turn red as he tilted his head to the ground. He nervously replied,
“N-nothing! Carry on!” Spike was hoping this excuse would work just so he could get to Rarity’s without any more interruptions. Lifting his eyes up slowly, he saw that he was blessed with his hopes coming to life. The ponies who were watching him returned to their everyday lives, oblivious to what he was soon to do.
Spike sighed with relief as he walked away from the comfort of his home, and down the path of unnerving emotions. Step by step, his heart began to pound faster. By his twelfth step, it felt as if it was ready to pop out of his chest, like some unworldly creature was trying to make its way out. He had never felt these emotions before as much as he did now, which naturally caught him off guard. His nerves soon began to turn ice cold, and the palms of his claws began to become sweaty. He knew that he was close to just turning around and giving up, just like every other attempt at showing his feelings. He closed his eyes while on the middle of the road and sighed softly once more. He stayed like this for a few moments, and let a few thoughts go through his mind.
“If I turned around now, what would change? I would still be alone at home all the time, doing some sort of work for Twilight. I like being her assistant, but it is incredibly lonely at home. Sometimes... it feels like she takes me for granted. She goes on all sorts of adventures with her friends, and they always leave me behind. It seems like the only time I did anything with them was during Hearth’s Warming Eve. But that is it. I’m always alone, and I’m sick of it. If Rarity says yes to me, then that will all change. I will finally have someone who wants to be beside me! No more staying at home while everyone else gets to have fun! I’ll be wanted for once!” Successfully boosting his confidence, Spike opened his eyes and took another step forward. Then another. Very slowly, he made his way to Rarity’s home, the Carousel boutique.
Spike figured that Rarity would be working on a dress inside, so he had little time to tell her how he felt. He needed to do this quickly, and do it now. If he didn’t, he might not ever feel the amount of confidence he has now ever again. Yes, he thought. He had to do this now! Inhaling deeply, he took a few more steps until he reached the door to Rarity’s home. He looked up at the top of the door, which had a small bell attached to the frame. In his confident state, he led himself to believe Rarity had this installed just for him! Smiling once more, he look the chain attached to the bell in his hand and rang it quickly, due to his hands shaking severely. He stepped back from the door, and eagerly awaited for the door to open.
Soon, the door opened slowly to reveal Rarity, with her mane in a tangled mess. Spike could tell that she had been working all night, due to the bags under her eyes, and that she never had her hair messy. Even with her now messy appearance, he still believed she was beautiful. He felt panic sit still in his heart, ready for its chance to release.
It took Rarity a few seconds before she realized who rang her bell. She looked down at Spike, who looked back up at her. He couldn’t help but grin as she locked her eyes with his. She was just simply beautiful. Her blue eyes simply pulled him in, and he never wanted to leave. He could tell she was confused with his sudden arrival, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Once again, he became lost in her beautiful eyes.
Rarity peered down at the little dragon, who stared right back. She soon started to become uncomfortable, her hooves starting to move on their own. After a few minutes of silence, Rarity softly said,
“Spike, darling, what are you doing here?” This broke Spike out of the trance she had put him in. He still looked up at her, but began to blush brightly. He could feel butterflies start to rise inside of his stomach, the panic he had kept away in his heart now finding its sweet release. He could feel himself start to shake softly, and his mind began to race a thousand miles a minute. He attempted to mutter a greeting, but all that came out was a simple,
“H-H...” Rarity raised her eyebrow as she stared down her little friend. What exactly did he want? She repeated her earlier question again, this time with a tad of annoyance. Once Spike could hear that she was growing weary of his behavior, he took a sharp breath and exhaled deeply. Feeling calmer, he looked back to her and said,
“Rarity... we need to talk.” Rarity turned her head back into her home as she heard a voice call out to her. Spike did not recognize the source of the voice, but knew that it was a stallions. It said for her to come back inside. Rarity then turned back to face him, and he could see that she was blushing. Spike felt a sudden feeling of weightlessness as his heart slowly began to stop. Like earlier, he felt his veins turn to ice. His heart slowly dropped down into his feet as the realization hit him like a speeding train. Rarity was with another stallion. Rarity saw that his face turned sour after she turned back. She sighed softly and she kept her gaze on her small friend. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she decided to break it.
“Spike... listen. If what you came here to do is what I think it is, no. I don’t... like you that way. It’s not really you, darling, you must understand that. It’s that-” Spike cut off what Rarity was saying with a cry of anger.
“It’s because I am a dragon, isn’t it!?” Spike began to pant out of pain, his adrenaline now rushing through his body. He had no way to control every emotion that begged for him to come out. Every part of his body fought for a different action, forcing anger out on its own. Rarity sighed softly as she closed her eyes.
“No Spike, it is because you are still so immature. I cannot date someone so young, it just isn’t ladylike. And even when you grow up, who knows what will happen then? I don’t think I can deal with that. I’m sorry Spike... but I can’t.” As if magic, Spike’s anger left his body completely. It felt as if a spirit had drained him of all energy, while leaving behind the heavy sadness. He kept his gaze on Rarity for another minute until looking towards the ground in despair. He struggled to keep his tears inside, but couldn’t hold it for long. He had begun to cry, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Rarity tried to say something, but he turned away quickly. He started to walk away, back to the safety and comfort of his home.
Rarity watched Spike slowly walk away gloomily, which brought pain to her heart as well. Turning around, she closed the door gently. She stayed on the door for a moment before she pushed herself off of it. She softly walked over towards her new lover. She smiled down at him before she gave herself to his embrace.
***
Spike bawled the walk to his home. Ponies that passed him by crossed the road to avoid him, his great despair worrying to others. No one wanted to make anything worse with the small dragon, so they simply left him alone. This made him feel even more alone in this world. Rarity had denied him, after everything he had done for her. He felt like she held emotions for him as well, like she genuinely cared. Instead, he felt a cold slap of reality. He was truly alone in this world, alone in this town brimming with colorful equines. He could never be one of them if he ever tried. Not to mention he was a different species. How could he ever expect to be liked by anyone in Ponyville, let alone be loved? His hopes seemed like a distant memory now, a far off dream of what would’ve been. That dream was over though, replaced with a dark realization. Rarity would never love him.
“Wait!” Spike said aloud. Rarity never said she couldn’t love me. She said she couldn’t love someone immature! “That’s it!” He said again. If he could somehow find a way to grow up faster, then she would love him. It was so simple! The only problem was how he would do such a thing. Still feeling the heavy pain in his heart, Spike began to ponder ways to grow up. He could ask Twilight for a spell, but he knew she probably wouldn’t agree with it. He could steal things again, but he didn’t want to face being greedy again. What could he possibly do?
Then, the lightbulb inside of Spike’s head sprang to life, it’s bright light illuminating the darkness of his mind. Instead of walking the rest of the way, Spike began to run, excited to let his idea come to life.
***
“You’re doing WHAT!?” Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs. Spike had a bag filled with his everyday essentials thrown over his shoulder, and a grin on his face. He had told her that he was leaving home for a while, and he would not return until he became an adult. Twilight tried to deny his request of leaving home, but he held strong. He had made up his mind about what he wanted to do. When Twilight asked why he wanted this, all he could reply was,
“It’s something I need to do Twi.” Unable to argue any further, Twilight reluctantly closed her eyes and gazed at the floor. Spike could tell that his decision was crushing her, but he knew that this had to be done if he ever wanted a chance to be with Rarity. Once Twilight looked back up at him, he could tell that she was crying. He sighed softly and slowly walked over to her, pulling her into a gentle hug. She continued to cry as her son held him, and after a few minutes she said,
“Spike... be careful out there. You’re still a baby dragon... my baby dragon. I don’t want you getting hurt. Please.” Spike chuckled softly after his mother said her request. He softly said,
“Twi, I’m going to be fine. I need to do this, I need to become an adult. It will never happen if I stay here, we both know that.” Twilight sighed once again and said,
“I know Spike... I still don’t want you to go though.” Spike pulled away from her and smiled. He looked into her eyes and said,
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll learn how to take care of myself. And Twi?” He stopped his sentence to ask her a question, to which she responded with a,
“Yes?” He laughed while saying,
“Please, don’t follow me again. I want to do this alone.” Twilight’s lips formed a half smile as she nodded her head. Spike then kissed her on the cheek as he turned away from her. He took baby steps toward the door as he approached it to show himself that this was the last few steps he would take as a child, and come back as an adult. Placing his hand on the handle, he turned it slowly and opened the doorway to not only the outside, but the beginning of his new life and adventure. Spike smiled into the light and said,
“I’m ready.”
