Happy Weird Day

by Blank Paper

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Sex, Death, Human, Narcotics, Other, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy, Comedy
Length: 2018

Tree Gelbman can't seem to a catch a break from weird stuff happening to her.

Tree Gelbman.

Tree Gelbman does not have a perfect life, but it's certainly not bad. She's at least barely floating through college, she's at least a little nice to the people around her, she has a few nice friends, she has a nerdish but adorable boyfriend and she's lacking any surprise killers. Sure, there's the occasional mishap where she accidentally walks into a busy road or uses a fork to clean a toaster...but she has her unexplained powers to bring her back to life whenever those happy little accidents happen. Having this ability is...cool, but it's limited to just death stuff and just to her. Which means she can't do anything about the frequently recurring nightmares that sometimes have her crying at night--but that's not so bad.

What's bad is the fact that she can do nothing about the winged horse lying in her bed that can somehow talk.

Great.

(Given the college scenery, you can guess what the warning tags might allude to)

Published 2018-11-01 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-01 18:50:01 UTC

Also November 1st

Tree stopped snoring when her phone went off, shattering whatever semblance of dreamless slumber she had left.

She twitched uncomfortably as her dumb 'Hello Moto' ringtone began to rise in volume. Her hand groggily snaked out from beneath her blankets to thump into her nightstand repeatedly, until her hand finally located the vibrating rectangle. Without even opening her crusty eyelids, she disarmed the alarm and her hand promptly fell slack again. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. She would not be falling asleep again, no matter how hard she tried. It was a wonder why she set the alarm in the first place, all things considered.

Tree contemplated her night as she sat there, face half buried in her fluffy pillow. Carter took her to see a movie he'd planned on seeing for quite some time; Halloween. But upon realizing that Tree had no living idea that it was a sequel at the time, he took her to watch the 1978 version after they watched the current version. It was all kinda confusing to keep track of, but she supposed that if would have been more confusing if Carter wasn't there to explain it to her. Well, he was able to explain a few things between shy kisses.

Then she went back to the "sorority crib" and went to bed...after tossing a few texts here and there. It was no surprise that she still felt tired, but it didn't make the sensation anymore pleasant either. She made a controlled sort of tumble out of the bed before somehow crawling to her feet and forcing her eyes open so she wouldn't end up stunning her toes. Reluctantly she opened the window blinds to let in some sunlight, which is how she discovered the suspicious looking lump sitting under the blankets next to where she'd been sleeping.

With an incomprehensive blink or two, she stared at the nearly human sized shape that seemed to be breathing lightly. The way the blankets were drawn over it blocked out any way of telling who it was, but it did leave a small portion of pink hair to peek out on the pillow. She mentally ran through her list of friends, then list of acquaintances and finally those few individuals that she's caught starting at her from time to time through her window. Not a single one of those people had a tuft of pink hair on their heads. Tree narrowed her eyes as she approached the side of the bed, and then opened the door to the room in case this was another deranged killer and she ended to make a quick get away.

She gripped the corner of her blanket with shaking hands, but pulled it back nonetheless. When her eyes finally settled on the thing underneath, she screamed at the volume of a thousand sopranos and scrambled away from the bed. She raced down the hallway screaming and screaming, before finally reaching the stairway that would lead her to freedom...

Where she tripped over her own feet, thumped her body painfully on several steps and finally snapped her neck at the very bottom.

November 1st again

Tree stopped snoring when her phone went off, shattering whatever semblance of dreamless slumber she had left.

She twitched uncomfortably as her dumb 'Hello Moto' ringtone began to rise in volume. Her hand groggily snaked out from beneath her blankets to thump into her nightstand repeatedly, until her hand finally located the vibrating rectangle. Without even opening her crusty eyelids, she disarmed the alarm and her hand promptly fell slack again. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. She would not be falling asleep again, no matter how hard she tried. It was a wonder why she set the alarm in the first place, all things considered.

Tree contemplated her night as she sat there, face half buried in her fluffy pillow. Carter took her to see a movie he'd planned on seeing for quite some time; Halloween. But upon realizing that Tree had no living idea that it was a sequel at the time, he took her to watch the 1978 version after they watched the current version. It was all kinda confusing to keep track of, but she supposed that if would have been more confusing if Carter wasn't there to explain it to her. Well, he was able to explain a few things between shy kisses.

Then she went back to the "sorority crib" and went to bed...after tossing a few texts here and there. It was no surprise that she still felt tired, but it didn't make the sensation anymore pleasant either. She made a controlled sort of tumble out of the bed before somehow crawling to her feet and forcing her eyes open so she wouldn't end up stunning her toes. Reluctantly she opened the window blinds to let in some sunlight, which is how she discovered the all too familiar looking lump sitting under the blankets next to where she'd been sleeping.

She slowly grasped her neck and rubbed it softly. Tripping and breaking your own neck? What an embarrassing way to go. She walked carefully to the side of the bed and slowly peeled the blanket away once more, but this time made sure not to scream and run like an idiot. She felt the urge to shriek rise up again, but this time she slapped a hand over her mouth.

It...well, it looked like a horse but at the same time...it didn't.

Sure, horses are quadrupeds with hooves, a mane, a tail and stuff like that. And yet, there were the glaring differences between actual horses and this...thing. For one, an actual horse sleeping in her bed would have probably been large enough break through the bed and the floor itself-- this horse looked like it was only big enough to stand at rib level with Tree. Then there was the overly neon yellow color of this one's fur and the almost neon pink mane/tail as well. Not to mention the way it's mane was styled like normal hair and how it's ass sported butterfly tattoos.

But the most eye-catching fact was that this horse had wings.

Giant, yellow hawk wings were folded against it's sides and adorned with dazzling feathers. She could only guess how wide they could spread out, given how giant they were while resting. She could also only guess as to why in the flying fuck a yellow horse with pink hair had wings in the first place.

Naturally, her first thought was that she was still dreaming and that this horse abomination was just a figment of her stressful imagination. But she hadn't a single dream about falling down the stairs after seeing this thing, killing herself, and waking up just to recognize her situation. Her second thought was that she had taken some kind of trippy drug the other night and she didn't remember it...but even that didn't seem likely. If she took something, she would remember it no matter how much it fucked her brain up. So that meant that this creature was real. A real life technicolor horse with wings.

She reached over the sleeping horse and snatched her phone off of its charger, before scrambling through her contacts. She held the phone to her ear after pressing a few buttons and whispered when a familiar voice picked up. "Um, hey Carter."

"Hey! I, uh, was just about to text and see if you were alright."

Any other day, she might have smiled at the thought of Carter always caring about her, every morning. But today, she had a horse in her bed. "Oh, I'm fine. Yes. I think. I might not be mentally fine, but yeah."

"I think my phone might be malfunctioning, it sounds like you're whispering."

"I am." She whispered.

"Oh..."

"Uh huh."

"...well, why?"

"I don't wanna wake the horse up."

"Is...Is this some kind of Sorority code word that I was supposed to know? Or a game?"

"Nope. There is literally a horse in my bed right now."

"...you mean, like...the farm animal?"

Tree nodded at no one in particular. "Yes, and it's really, really yellow and pink and it has bird wings."

"I thought we agreed you'd stay off weed until the semester was over."

Tree scoffed loudly. "Please, weed wouldn't make me hallucinate like this. I know it's real because I broke my neck running down the stairs this morning and restarted the day and it was still here."

"You broke your neck? This is the fourth time this month, Tree!"

"I'll try not be so clumsy next time, " She rubbed her aching forehead. It was too early for this shit. "I was just startled by the neon horse in my bed is all."

"Ugh..."

It took her a moment to realize that Carter didn't make that sound and that the horse was actually moving. It sat up in bed, gave a jaw cracking yawn and looked around with a sleepy frown. It's drowsy teal eyes took notice of its surroundings and gained small ounces energy the more it surveyed unfamiliar things. When it finally noticed the nervous college girl, it blinked with a very expressive look of confusion.

"...um...hello?"

Tree dropped the phone as she screamed, and promptly launched a fist right into the demon horse's temple. It was flung backwards with a feminine cry of surprise, but then went entirely still. Confused, Tree peeked over the side of the bed and found that the talking beast was unconscious. She'd actually knocked the thing out. She didn't know whether to feel pleased or...eh, she'd go with pleased.

A buzz from below got he attention. She forgot that Carter was still on the phone, even when she dropped it. "Tree? Tree, you there? Don't tell me you killed yourself again."

"Oh, sorry I left! So, um..." Tree bit her bottom lip. "You wouldn't happen to have any rope, would you?"

November 1st

Angel was not a very happy rabbit today. Not at all.

He impatiently tapped his foot on the wooden floorboard, arms crossed as he waited. He'd been waiting ever since he got up and completed his morning tasks of yawning, stretching and smacking his lips. This was absolutely inconceivable and unforgivable--how dare she sleep in and neglect to give him his morning sustenance?! He could barely stand, as weak as he was from hunger. What kind of pony wouldn't force themselves out of their comfy bed to feed a rabbit before dawn?

He stared at the untrodden staircase and then let his unhappy gaze fall back down on the empty bowl next to him. He missed the taste of thousand island ranch salad, crisp from the cold as it all melted away on his tongue. He missed actually having a ready breakfast. He missed being well fed in the morning and then pampered for the whole day. He missed the days when Harry the bear didn't berate him for being a stuck up rabbit that didn't like making his own breakfast for once in his stuck up life.

Grumpy old bear. Angel frowned as the big lummox continued to send him unflattering growls, paws on his hips like an independent mare who don't need no stallion. Why couldn't winter be here already--to send him into early hibernation? Then maybe he could just focus on the lack of breakfast instead of that and a ten hoof tall wall of nagging fur.

He waited a full, generous thirty seconds before he angrily began to stomp up the stairs to her room. Ignoring the sound of Harry berating him along the way, the small rabbit practically kicked the door down and hopped onto the bed. He began to verbally chastise his pony master for being so rude on such a lovely morning, and for starving him half to death too. Back turned from her, he crossed his arms and waited for the apology. A full minute passed before curiosity finally made him turn around and blink.

He'd been ranting at an empty bed the whole time.