Exit Stage Left

by Matthew Penn

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Pipsqueak, Slice of Life
Length: 2180

Pipsqueak wants to overcome his stage fright, even if it means making a fool of himself in front of dozens of ponies.

Miss Cheerilee directs a school play which Pipsqueak only has a minor role. No matter what, he wants to overcome his stage fright, even if it means making a fool of himself in front of dozens of ponies.

Published 2018-11-02 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-02 19:30:01 UTC

Exit Stage Left

Before summer break Miss Cheerilee’s second grade class put on a play about the western pioneers. She wanted the play, The Story of Middletown, to be a lesson about the importance of unity. It was going to be their final grade, so they had no choice but to do it; however, she did wanted the class to have a little fun before the school year came to an end.

Pipsqueak, along with his whole class, waited on the outdoor stage for their teacher to arrive with props and costumes. For a long time he always imagined himself being on stage performing for hundreds of ponies. At home he often performed his one pony acts for an audience either made up of his family or his toys. He didn’t think it will happen so soon; it made him nervous. What if he accidentally flubbed his lines on stage with everyone watching? Pipsqueak looked at the faces of his classmates, seeing they were as anxious as he was.

The young children looked ahead to see Miss Cheerilee pull a wagon behind her. She called for her students and they gathered around as their little hooves reached for the wagon at once until Miss Cheerilee held out her own to stop them. She told them she assigned every student specific roles of equal importance. She roll called, gave them their roles along with the costume, then a copy of the script she written.

When she called for Pipsqueak she gave him a pioneer hat with a raccoon tail sticking out and a fake beard that covered much of his face. He looked to his high society classmate Diamond Tiara, who held a raggedy pioneer mare costume, much to her disgust.

Miss Cheerilee explained the play will last for one act, and to memorize the lines for the parts they’ve been given.

Pipsqueak went home and spent the rest of the day reading the play. It wasn’t very long; it only had sixty pages. His parts were highlighted with a yellow marker, and he only had one line to say, which wasn’t so bad at all. “I’m feeling quite dizzy,” was all he had to say, and nothing more. Pipsqueak repeated that one line to himself all night. “I’m feeling quite dizzy, I’m feeling quite dizzy…”

The next day the class stayed for one hour after school to rehearse. Pipsqueak wore the pioneer hat and fake beard, only it made his face itch. Miss Cheerilee called the young actors up on stage to perform for her. As the scenes went on Pipsqueak continue to scratch his cheeks. Where did Miss Cheerilee find this? he wondered to himself. Pipsqueak’s scene with Diamond Tiara came next. They were joined by another colt dressed as a doctor. Apparently, he and Diamond Tiara were husband and wife because she said “Oh doctor, there is something terribly wrong with my husband,” in the most disgusted voice.

Pipsqueak took a moment to scratch his cheek. He looked to Miss Cheerilee, who waited for him to say his line. “I feel dizzy,” he muttered.

“I couldn’t hear you, Pipsqueak. Can you say it louder?” said Miss Cheerilee. “Try again, everyone.”

“Oh doctor, there is something terribly wrong with my husband!” Diamond Tiara repeated, as though in pain. It seemed she couldn’t wait to go home and wash her tongue.

Pipsqueak opened his mouth, trying to force the words out.

“Line,” said Miss Cheerilee.

“I feel rather dizzy!” Pipsqueak said louder.

“That was loud, but your heart wasn’t in it. One more time, from the top; and make sure you don’t scratch yourself.”

Diamond Tiara took a deep breath and repeated her line. The fuzzy strands of hair rubbed against Pipsqueak’s cheeks, and he fought the urge to scratch. He said, “I feel quite dizzy!” as loud as his lungs allowed.

“That was definitely loud, Pipsqueak, but you don’t have to yell. You just have to speak clearly and sound very sick.”

Their scene came to an end, and Miss Cheerilee called the students playing the campers who were freezing to death while directed a few others in the background to make sound effects of the weather with their mouths. Backstage, Diamond Tiara approached Pipsqueak with a deep glare on her face. He hadn’t noticed how she was only few inches taller than him, until he forgot he was smallest pony in the whole class. “You better not mess this up!” she said. “You’re going to make me look like a fool in front of the whole school!”

“I’m sorry, I just got a little nervous,” stammered Pipsqueak. “I’ll get it right next time.”

She shook her head and walked away. He sure didn’t want to disappoint Miss Cheerilee or Diamond Tiara. Although it’s only a small part, he had to make it count. He couldn’t allow himself to let anyone down.

For the next few weeks Pipsqueak practiced saying his only line whenever he had the chance. “I’m feeling quite dizzy,” was his answer when Granny Smith asked him how his day has been. When his mother asked him to do the dishes he said, “I’m feeling quite dizzy.” When his father asked him to take out the trash he said to him “I’m feeling quite dizzy.” He said the line to himself in different ways and different tones; so much so that he thought he’s getting better, like a real actor. His fear of freezing on stage hadn’t bothered him until the last days of rehearsals when Miss Cheerilee called him to say his lines. He said “I’m feeling quite dizzy,” as clear and loud as he was instructed. Miss Cheerilee gave him a quizzical look, tilting her head.

“You’re doing much better, but there’s something missing,” she said. “Maybe this scene should have a little bit of action.”

“Action?” asked Pipsqueak.

“Body movement, something like that. You need to convince everyone that you’re sick. Be spontaneous. We have a couple of days until the big show, so keep practicing,” Miss Cheerilee said encouragingly.

That unpleasant feeling of nervousness crawled its way up Pipsqueak’s back. Of course he’d have to show body movement, it’s what all great actors do. As he exit the stage he imagined himself unintentionally making a fool of himself while trying his best to amplify his performance, making everyone in the audience laugh, and if he ruins the play he will get a failing grade and will feel the wrath of Diamond Tiara, who still hadn’t understood the play is not about her. When the rehearsal ended he received a passing glare from the upper class filly, a constant reminder of what is at stake. With only a few short days until the big performance he didn’t know what to do. How can he act spontaneous when a hundred eyes were on him? “I feel quite dizzy,” he said to himself.

The day of the play arrived. After lunch the class was dismissed early and followed Miss Cheerilee to the outdoor stage, all in their costumes. As the class prepared for their performance, Pipsqueak paced back and forth, muttering to himself. He took a peek at the audience, which were only children and few of the adults in town. He went back to remembering his line, only he couldn’t remember it. What was it again? “I don’t feel well?” No, that wasn’t it. “I feel light-headed,” perhaps. No, that wasn’t it, either. He couldn’t believe it; the day of all days this should happen. Without warning Pipsqueak let out a yelp so quick and sudden that he bounced off the ground, then did it again a second time, and then the next. Oh no, he developed the case of the hiccups! Can this day get any worse? he began to wonder. Apparently it can, because Diamond Tiara was coming his way, not very happy to see him. Pipsqueak felt another hiccup coming up; he closed his mouth and held his breath.

“I hope you’re not planning on screwing this up,” she said sternly. Pipsqueak shook his head, trying to assure her everything will be fine. Diamond Tiara tilt her head one side, not getting the message. “Why are you holding your breath? Are you sick or something? Don’t tell me your sick!”

Before she can do or say anything else, Miss Cheerilee called everyone to their places. Diamond Tiara gave him one last dirty look before walking away. Pipsqueak let the air out, only to bounce off the ground from the delayed hiccups. He wanted to drink some water, but they were far away from the school. Pipsqueak tried to stay calm. Maybe if I hold my breath long enough, they will go away, he thought to himself. He held his breath for fifteen seconds before gasping for air. He wasn’t cured of the hiccups.

The play began with the narrator, a young boy, telling the audience the beginning of Manifest Destiny, when Princess Celestia gave her blessing to the pioneers to settle west, and how they learn that unity and sharing was the only way to endure harsh times. A group of fillies came to the stage to sing a short song, then the first scene began. Apple Bloom, one of Pipsqueak’s classmates, led the settlers to the great plains, promising them the “dawning of a new era.” Things didn’t stay bright, for when the play continued the citizens of Middletown had divided the settlement after a series of disagreements and misunderstandings, not to mention a heaping of selfishness. A few other students, which included Scootaloo and Silver Spoon, were dressed in white and made whooshing noises and threw tiny pieces of paper in the air to symbolize the changing weather. The narrator returned to the stage to inform the audience the divided citizens of Middletown will suffer the terrible winter of that time because of their refusal to settle their differences.

Pipsqueak’s hiccups grew worse when his scene with Diamond Tiara was near. He tied the fake beard around his face while he skipped breaths. Diamond Tiara looked at him suspiciously, so he held his breath. He didn’t know how long he will last.

She grabbed Pipsqueak’s forearm and dragged him into the stage, where they were joined by a young colt dressed as a doctor. Pipsqueak’s body tensed, beads of perspiration dropping from his forehead as he tried not to look at the audience. His mind went blank, and he had no idea if he heard the doctor and Diamond Tiara say their lines. She looked at him, silently informing Pipsqueak it was his turn to talk. The tiny pinto colt trembled on stage. He swallowed down an incoming hiccup, then opened his mouth to say his line.

He gave a loud belch instead.

Pipsqueak covered his mouth as his eyes met Diamond Tiara’s disgusted face. He accidentally glanced at the audience, seeing how they either hid their snickering faces or burst out laughing. His worst fears came true. He made a fool of himself on stage. Overcome with shock and horror, he closed his eyes and fainted.

Diamond Tiara became too bewildered to react, so the colt playing the doctor said, “Quick, this stallion needs medical attention!” The doctor pushed high class filly left of the stage, then dragged Pipsqueak’s body with him, causing the laughter of the audience to rise. The narrator returned to the stage to explain how ponies like Pipsqueak met similar fates. He tried to ignore the humor in what he said.

The pink face of an angry filly filled Pipsqueak’s vision when he emerged from unconsciousness. For a moment he forgot where he was, then he remembered what happened. He much preferred the silence of oblivion.

“You blockhead, you ruined everything!” barked Diamond Tiara. “We’re both going to fail second grade because of you!”

Things suddenly looked grim until Miss Cheerilee arrived backstage. “Pipsqueak, are you alright?” she asked. She didn’t sound angry or disappointed. It was weird of how concerned she was for him.

“I’m okay, I think,” Pipsqueak replied.

Miss Cheerilee gave a relieved sigh. “The two of you did very well; especially you, Pipsqueak. Although I wasn’t inspecting your… sound effect, you scared the daylights out of me when you fainted. Great job.”

The two young ponies looked at each other. The glare on Diamond Tiara’s face soften, and she didn’t want to admit what Pipsqueak did made her nervous, if only for a short while. She was only pleased that their scene was over. She pinched him, telling Pipsqueak to never upstage her again.

The play ended with the pioneers settling their differences and uniting the town, surviving the winter by working together. After the final song, the audience applauded for the young performers. Special attention was given to Pipsqueak. Everyone thought he was the highlight of the whole show. The little ponies bowed one more time and the curtain fell. At last the sun settled down on a long day; Pipsqueak couldn’t wait to get home. Belching and fainting on stage made him feel quite dizzy.