Just A Pinch

by thatonecoffeemachine

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Fluttershy
Length: 3352

Discord, although was indenial of his feelings at first, relented soon enough as he decided to pursue the feelings.

The Lord Of Chaos seems to be a little bit of a dilemma when it comes to his 'ridiculous' feelings towards a certain pegasus. However, he tries to pursue them still, although with a little help of three little fillies.....

Published 2019-07-11 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-11 22:10:01 UTC

Ooooh!

He felt like he was going to be sick as he laid on the roof of one of the cafes. He watched as lovey dovey decorations hung around.

So it's that time of the year again. Hearts and Hooves day. Ugh.

It's never a good time to walk around. You could literally see all kinds of public affection everywhere. Ponies touching noses, even kissing, makes him wanna belch. But for some reason too, this made him feel.....uneasy. More than uncomfortable....jealous? He can't differentiate his feelings too well, but he knew that it wasn't mutual. As he saw ponies walk past him with kissy faces, although it disgusted him....it made him feel lonely?

The chance of love never came around for him. Well, he did love once. But never again. He swore to never love another mare again. Love hurts, it pratically stings. She betrayed him. She did. Although being on good terms now, he still felt that the war they had fought had left a mark. Their views on each other had changed so much. A once lovely mare, to a betrayer. A once defenceless creature, to a monster.

But then again, during this time of the year he felt the need to find companionship. And after that time of the year will never ecknowledge anything he had yearned for.

So this time of the year was like a burden to him. Great.

But before his thoughts could continue, he heard the sweet humming of somepony. The familiar tune... He looked down from the roof he had laid on and looked for the source of the hum.

Fluttershy, with her saddlebag, was going through a crowd, some still showing affection and not ecknowledging her presence. "Uhm, sorry-oh, excuse me- eek, sorry.." she said, struggling through the crowd.

Discord looked at her with pity. How dare they not give any attention towards her! She's the element of kindness, for Celestia's sake- a hero!

Discord snapped his talon as he disappeared. Fluttershy kept on struggling through the crowd, muttering a small sorry everytime she bumps into anyone.

As she struggled however, a unbeknownst light flickered atop of her. As the light subsided, she heard a hearthy chuckle from a familiar voice.

She realised that everypony too were backing away, some even showing visible disgust. She looked up in confusion and smiled at what was above her. Discord, floating in mid air with his arms behind his head, wore a huge grin.

"Hello, Discord." she said.

Discord faked enthusiastically gasped as he turned down to see her. "Why Fluttershy~ Fancy seeing you here! I never thought that I would bump into you today!" he said.

Fluttershy sighed as she giggled. Discoed then landed onto the ground beside her.

They then started staring at each other. Discord's smile subsided as he realised how quiet it was now. He tilted his head at her. Fluttershy broke the silence as she giggled, thinking the draconequus silly.

"...so. Uhm. What brings you out here?" he asked as they both then started walking.

"I'm just going grocery shopping. I've-"

"Grocery shopping for what?" he asked as without consent, dug through her bag looking for something. He then pulled out a list.

"Discord...." she said sternly. "We talked about this...."

"Yes yes, 'please' and 'thank you'- I remember that lecture quite well." he said as his eyes scanned through the list. "Now let's see.......that.... that.... oats.... seeds..... yes.... bicycle..."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Nothing for you to worry about, dear!" he replied as he rolled the list back up and snapped his talon.

Fluttershy was confused at his actions, but fell back with alarm as her saddlebag suddenly felt heavy. "O-oh!"

Discord snapped the list away as he then dusted his hands together. "No need to thank me, Fluttershy. Just doing my job." he said.

Fluttershy stood up as she maintained her balance. "..okay..uhm, th-"

"Shhh...." he put a talon to her lips. "I said you needn't thank me." he said as he bowed.

She pushed his talon away softly as she giggled.

He then looked up and stared at her with a smile. "Are you busy today?"

They started to walk forward again. "Oh. Well, actually, I need to go meet Rarity at the spa and-" she then jumped up in realisation. "Oh dear, I'm going to be late!" she exclaimed.

She turned to Discord. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I need to hurry." she said as she wanted to hurriedly rush away. "Bye-"

"Wait!" he suddenly yelled out, but bit his tongue as he realised what he had just done.

She stopped and turned back to Discord. "Hmm?"

He fell silent. He didn't mean to call out on her. She looked at him, her hoof tapping on the ground, waiting. "Please Discord, I'm gonna be late."

He raised a talon to speak, but dropped it again with a hesitant sigh. "...erm..."

"Discord, hurry. I won't have much time."

"....please don't....leave me?" he said finally. He then processed what he had just said. What was he thinking?!

Her eyes fell soft as she sighed, but smiled. "Discord...." she said. She then started walking closer to him.

His ears dropped, not knowing what she was going to do. But he fell red as he realised what she was doing.

She rubbed the side of his head softly. "I'm sorry if you were interested in hanging out with me today, but if only you could've said it earlier I could've... arranged something..." she said as she sighed in dissapointment. He kept silent. She smiled anyway. "But I still need to go." she said. Without warning, she kissed his cheek softly and hurriedly rushed away. "Bye!" she waved as she then galloped away.

He stood in his position, not knowing what to respond with. He lifted his talon as he gave his cheek a rub.

She...kissed him?

His heart skipped a beat at the thought. He was flustered. It..was just normal affection. Right? Yes! That's it! He seen her kiss Angel before! Yes! That's just it! Normal affection! Normal....

His chest fell heavy as he suddenly felt dissapointed with his thoughts... Was it just a normal affection? If it was, he felt disappointed.

....disappointed?

Why would he feel disappointed? She had always given him affection, much like any other animals she had in her cottage.

Why was he disappointed?

He snapped his talon as he disappeared. And reappeared upon the roof earlier. He watched the city with a sigh. The ponies, not ashamed or shy of their own display of public affection. He spat. Can't they get a room?

But as he sat, his ear perked up as he heard rustling and a few whispers behind him. The whispers sound familiar too. Fillies?

"..ugh- wait, hold on! Shh, Sweet!" said the sound of a familiar filly, the sound of frustrated wing flapping could be heard as well.

But he remained his position, seeing what the fillies were even doing.

Scootaloo, struggling, grasped the edges of the roof as she gasp. Groans from Applebloom could be heard from below her and Sweetie. "Scoot! Hurry!"

"I.....can't.....GAH!" she finally yelped as she felt her hoof slip. Sweetie lost her balance as well as she toppled from the sudden fall of Scoot. Bracing for impact, she closed her eyes.

"Ya know, you fillies could've just told me you were visiting. I could've left a long rope of twizzlers for you all to climb with."

Sweetie opened her eyes, and was taken aback. "How did we get up here so quickly?!"

Scootaloo and Applebloom too jumped in surprise. They were suddenly seated on the roof, beside Discord, who laid on the roof with his arms behind his head.

"Hello, my little fillies. How may Mr Discord help you today?" he asked with a smug grin.

Applebloom nudged Sweetie and gestured to her, as if wanting her to speak up. Sweetie was hesitant and nudged Scootaloo. She nudged her back and so on and so forth.

"Tell 'im-"

"No, you tell him!-"

"Tell him yourself!-"

"You're the leader, you tell him!-" they whispered to each other back and forth. Discord looked more fed up rather than amused as he snapped his talon, which stuffed the fillies mouth with marshmallows.

"Are you fillies done or is my business unnecessary?" he asked as he raised a brow.

Scootaloo chewed her marshmallow and swallowed as she spoke up. "More like if our business is unnecessary."

Discord looked at them confused. "....what do you mean?"

The two other fillies ate their little snack as Sweetie spoke up. "Weeeelllll.....we've been seeing you around alot lately,"

"And it's usually when you're around Fluttershy," Scootaloo added.

"And it is Hearths and Hooves day afterall~~" mused Applebloom. It took Discord awhile to get the hint.

".....wait a minute...."

"Don't think that we didn't see you get all flustered after her little peck on your cheek!" said Sweetie as the others mused.

"Ooooooh~~" they mused, which irritated Discord.

"Pah! Nonsense. If you think that I have some kind of lovey-dovey crush on her, I can tell you that I don't!" he said as he crossed his arms.

"Then why are ya blushin'?" asked Applebloom as she wriggled her brows.

To Discord's dismay, he was. He could feel the neat radiating on his face. But of course, he wasn't gonna admit it. "N-no I'm not!"

The three fillies mused again, adding to his agitation. He scoffed. "I'll have you fillies know that I don't and will never,believe in the concept of love! I'm a realist- hell I even had this same conversation with Spike last Hearths and Hooves day!"

Before Applebloom could speak, Sweetie cut her off as she covered her muzzle and interrupted. "You did?"

"Why of course! I won't let any of my guy friends fall for such foolish 'feelings'. Really, it'll make me look bad." he said. "Why don't you get the scoop from him? I shall waste no time conversing with fillies about the lies and misinterpretations love has to offer."

Sweetie lowered her hoof as Applebloom frowned at her. "Alrighty then! Come on, Applebloom. Let's go ask Spike what love is all about..." said Sweetie as she winked at her and Scoots. It took Scootaloo awhile to realise her plan.

"....ohhh." said Scoots in realisation.

"Alrighty! Let's go!" said Sweetie as she walked to the edge, only to remember she didn't know how to get down. ".....uh. A little help, please?" she laughed nervously at Discord.

"I'll even give you a lift to Twilight's. Just scatter already!" he said as he snapped them away.

They landed by the doormat leading into the Castle. Applebloom was still frowning. "What was that all about?!"

Sweetie brushed it aside. "Relaax, it's all part of my plan. Since Spike is like, his guy friend or whatever, maybe it'll be even better to have him tag along with us! Besides, it looks even Spike knew of his little secret." she giggled.

Applebloom stared in realisation. ".....ohhhhh. Well why didn't you say so?"

Scootaloo knocked loudly at the door. "Spiiike? Spiiike! Anypony in there??" It took them a few more knocks until Spike came to open the door.

"Uh, hello?" he asked as he peered out. "What are you three looking for?"

"Uhm..." Scootaloo looked around before whispering to him. "How about we discuss this in the treehouse?"

"So," started Spike. "You fillies found out, huh? Yeah, he refuses to admit it. But he looks like he genuinely does like Fluttershy. Like, seriously, it's like he doesn't even try to hide it."

"Oh! Maybe after this we could help ya tell Rarity how ya really feel!"

"NO!!" Spike and Sweetie shouted in unison. Scootaloo laughed.

"Maybe another day. We'll need to think of a way to convince him, however. Don't you know who we're dealing with here? The God of Weirdness himself." said Scootaloo. The others sighed. They knew who they were dealing with quite well.

Spike was deep in thought. What could possibly convince him to try it out? What could possibly convince the Lord of Chaos himself to confess? Or just something? Anything! Anything to show him that love is real, it's not just a simple feeling. Hmm.....

"Ah got it!" said Applebloom as she stomped her hooves loudly onto the wooden floors.

"You fillies play nice up there!" yelled a distant voice from below the treehouse.

Discord walked through the hallways of the Canterlot castle. Since he's still considered a close friend to Celestia even after all that's happened, he was given immediate passage through the castle whenever desired. Mainly due to the guards not wanting to deal with him whenever he comes by.

He looked around for the throne room. The castle seemed to be busy as each corridor was filled with maids getting the place clean and tidy, some even putting up decorations like ribbons and heart stickers. He felt like gagging.

He still haven't got this place figured out yet, but one way or another he'll manage. It didn't take long for him to find the throne room, and he went his merry way past the guards guarding the door and pushed it open, revealing a very busy Princess Celestia, who was reading a scroll with a quill in the air. Below her throne were more scrolls and letters strewn across the floor.

"I thought I told you two to knock before letting..." she lowered her scroll as she looked to the entrance in annoyance, but paused when it wasn't any fancy pants or royals she had thought were too busy to knock before entering. ".....ah. Discord."

Discord pranced in, looking about at the mess in the room. "You sound unhappy to see me," he grinned.

"More or less, yes. I'm busy, Discord, so whatever you want to do or say, make it quick."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Come on, Celly, you talk with your mouth, not with your horn. You can do your work while I talk, how about it?"

She sighed. "Discord, it's not that easy to focus-"

"Well then in that case, put down your quill, I'm obviously more important!" he huffed. "Don't friends need to help each other out? Well, not insinuating I need help, buuuut...." His head disappeared as it retracted itself into his neck, and reappeared behind Celestia's throne, "Some advice would also suffice."

She raised a brow. "The Lord of Chaos, asking for advice? Has the Lord gone crazy?" she smirked at him.

"Oh Celly," he snapped his talon, and his body reattached itself to his head, "I am crazy from the start. No, I'd like advice. Girl advice."

Celestia rolled her eyes, setting her scroll aside. This should be interesting, she thought. "Well, I guess I'll have to help you if it means needing girl advice. Now, what is it that you'd need girl advice for?"

Discord inhaled deeply. "...welllll........it's about-"

"Fluttershy?"

His eyes widened. "...wait."

"I can tell. Today is Hearts and Hooves day afterall. I have been waiting for this day," she smirked. "It has been a long ride, tell me Discord, are you into her?"

"What blasphemy are you spouting?-"

"Ooooh....." a few guards from outside of the throne room cooed. He fell red with embarrassment.

"...you're spreading rumours, Celly."

"It is but fact, oh strange one," exclaimed Luna as she entered the room.

"Why are you still awake?" asked Celestia.

"I have heard the cooes signalling of someone's embarrassment. The guards told me what was happening. And, like my sister," she turned to Discord, "This day was coming, we were sure of it."

Discord frowned. "You weren't invited to this conversation, shoo."

Luna nodded, and gave Celestia a smile, mouthing to her: Have fun. Celestia giggled as Discord huffed. As the doors closed, he sighed in relief.

".....she's very annoying," he crossed his arms. "Tch, well since you already know why I'm here, perhaps we can speed things up?"

Celestia nodded. "Why of course." He sat on the highest step leading to her throne. "Now, what is it you'd like to know?"

".....how do I woo a girl?"

"Woo?"

"Amaze. Surprise. Anything to show-"

"How much you like her?"

More cooing entered from outside of the doors. "Mind your business, you turds!" he shouted angrily at the doors, his face flustered. Again, he inhaled deeply. "No. I want to show how great of a friend I am-"

"Oh cut the talk, it's clear you have feelings for her," she said almost matter-of-factly. "The way you talk about her, the way you obsess over her, you even have tea every Tuesday, you told me before. If that isn't a crush, I don't know what is-"

"Okayokayfine, juststoptalkingaboutitoutloud!" he begged, his voice cracking and his hands looking like they were about to muffle her any secondly she continues. She smirked. He frowned. "Okay. So you know of my little secret. So are you gonna help me now or continue on and learn how many bananas I can fit in your yapper until you can shut up?"

"Right, right," she said. She cleared her throat, clearly finding herself enjoying the situation too much. "Well, there's not much I can help you with, but if you'd like, I can invite you and Fluttershy to tonight's Hearts and Hooves ball," she conjured up two golden tickets, waving it in front of him.

He stared at them at first. "....Celestia, you'd think I can invite her without her getting the wrong idea?"

"I thought your plan was to tell her how you feel."

"It wasn't!- well, I want to, but- no! It's too early for that, what if she thought I was being funny but then it turns out that I wasn't and it would get awkward and weird and- I won't deal with that!" he said, flustered and annoyed that Celestia would even think that was a good idea.

"....hmm, then perhaps I can arrange something? I can send Twilight 6 tickets to the ball, and you can have your own. Then, you all can meet up here and you can go on from there. Sounds like a plan?"

He wanted to retort, but he pondered over it. Fluttershy wouldn't suspect a thing if they were to have their tickets handed out by Twilight, they'll meet up here eventually.....yeah. "...."

"I'll take that silence as a yes," she said as she conjured up four more tickets to complete six. Then, she conjured up a scroll. Writing down an official invite, she tied the tickets with ribbon and wrapped the scroll around it, securing it with more ribbon. Discord looked at the ground, thinking hard about his situation. Celestia sent the scroll and tickets away as it was swallowed by green smoke.

She waved his ticket in front of him again. "Here's yours."

He took it, brows furrowed as he was still thinking. And thinking hard. What can he do with this chance? ".....what do I do then?"

"Up to you. Say......how about I send a letter to Twilight asking her to help you-"

"No need for that okay bye!" instantly he snapped himself away, leaving Celestia rolling her eyes, smirking to herself as she relevitated her scroll.

He was now floating in his own little void of chaos not far from his own little floating house in the distance. With the ticket still in his talon, he contemplated. What will he do? What can he do? Anything that won't let Fluttershy think him weird or make things awkward if things weren't to go as smoothly as hoped. Then he reconsidered something.

.....the CMCs. ".....blergh." Does he really need the help of foals in his mission? Surely he wouldn't stoop so low. But..... they would know better than him about Fluttershy considering that they've known her for virtually longer than him and- oh Discord, they're foals! "......".....that might even have more ideas on what to do than he could even think of.

Whether this be a good idea or not, he didn't think too much of it anymore as he gave into the idea, snapping himself away and to the treehouse of the trio.