This Story Sucks

by JackRipper

Rating: teen
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Slice of Life, Comedy, Romance, Fluttershy, Equestria Girls
Length: 2064

Sunset Shimmer is in the hospital. Fluttershy is in a coffin. Neither of them is very happy about it.

Sunset Shimmer is in the hospital. Fluttershy is in a coffin. Neither of them is very happy about it.

Written as an entry to the FimFiction Feghoot Festival.
(Most of it) pre-read by Ludus.
Edited by Lofty Withers.
Art by twilite-sparkleplz.

Published 2019-07-13 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-13 18:40:02 UTC

A Grave Mistake

"You're an idiot."

Sunset winced, fixing a crease that had formed in her hospital gown. The constant beeping of the heart monitor wasn't the only thing nagging her anymore. "I know that. You don't have to remind me."

"What made you think letting Fluttershy do that during gym was a good idea?" Twilight huffed. "It's not exactly a normal thing to see her chomping on your arm."

Sunset tried to cross her arms, swearing under her breath when the needle nearly popped out, earning a frown from her friend. "Don't say it like that, it wasn't a big deal. She was just hungry and I wasn't around during lunchtime."

"There was blood all over the bleachers. Roseluck fainted."

"She faints from everything."

"It looked like a crime scene!" Twilight fumed, pushing up her glasses. "You're lucky none of the freshmen were around or you'd be talking to Principal Celestia instead."

Sunset grit her teeth in frustration, anxiously looking around the room. "Wait a minute, where's Fluttershy?"

"What?"

"Fluttershy, the girl with the pink hair and fangs," Sunset deadpanned. "I thought she'd be here with you but I haven't seen her today."

Twilight averted her eyes. "About that, Fluttershy... isn't available at the moment."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Is she okay?"

"I mean, she's in a coma right now."

"Do you have any good news?"

"She's in a coma with a smile on her face?" Twilight sheepishly offered.

Sunset let out an exasperated sigh. "Good grief. How did that even happen?"

Twilight shrugged. "No idea. Rainbow Dash was the only other person in our group to have gym class with you two. She could probably tell you more. Do you want me to call her for you?"

Sunset gave her a slightly less exasperated sigh. “No. No, I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Are you sure? It will only take a—Sunset? Wait, what are you doing? Sunset, stop!”

The continuous sound of the heart monitor flatlining persisted down the hospital hallway as Sunset dragged herself out of her room with Twilight clinging to her arm, her pleas falling deaf on Sunset’s ears.

“So there I am, sitting on the bleachers next to the two of them, right? Sunset rolls up her sleeve and Fluttershy bites down, but it’s like a nibble, like that thing she does when she’s eating something she dislikes but she’s too polite to say it sucks.” Rainbow Dash paused, looking at her friends’ faces and gauging their reactions. Her story was attracting the attention of other patrons if their bewildered stares were anything to go off of.

“Anyway,” she continued, “Fluttershy’s eyes get all big, and then she goes from nibbling to full on munching. At this point, she’s drinking more blood than she can swallow and it’s spilling into the bleachers. Roseluck straight up faints, then Sunset faints, then Fluttershy faints.”

“That’s a lotta fainting,” Applejack idly commented, finding the patterns of the tiled floor more interesting than the anecdote.

Dash nodded. “So there I am, hauling Sunset across the school to the nurse’s office while covered in blood. She ends up going to the hospital. Then I go back to Fluttershy—who is still unconscious by the way—and carry her all the way back to my place. I ended up passed out on the couch still wearing bloody clothes.”

“I take it that’s why we didn’t see you at school for the rest of the day?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You think I’m gonna go back to school after carrying two people while soaked in Sunset’s blood to learn calculus? Fat chance.”

“Touché.”

“I gotta admit, sugarcube. That sounds like one heck of a story,” Applejack said. “I wouldn’t believe you if I hadn’t heard about it from just about everyone at school.”

“Me neither!” Pinkie Pie chirped. She wore a waitress outfit with enough pink frills to make even Rarity queasy, setting down a tray with drinks for each of them: water for Applejack, coffee with light cream for Rarity, and Coca-cola for Rainbow Dash. “Not the craziest thing I’ve heard, but a doozy nonetheless!”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Darling, that does sound thoroughly horrifying, but I still have one question: where’s Twilight? She shares a class with you, yes?”

“Oh yeah, about that—”

“Sunset, please wait for me! A-at least let me take the IV out of your arm!”

The door to Sugarcube Corner slammed open, revealing Sunset Shimmer, who somehow looked even worse than she had in the gymnasium. She huffed, yanking the IV cord out of her arm and throwing it to the ground, blood pooling from the open puncture mark.

Thunk!

“...Roseluck, are you okay?”

Rainbow Dash grinned. “What a shame, you actually lived!”

Sunset scoffed, shambling over to the four of them and dropping into an open seat, her scowl immediately shifting to a smile. “Great to see you too, Dash.”

Twilight still stood in the doorway, one hand resting on the frame of the door as she leaned over, heaving for breath. “Please… just let me… patch your arm.”

Sunset rolled her eyes, beckoning Twilight with a wave. Twilight sat down next to her, nervously glancing down at Sunset’s bloodied arm before reaching into her backpack.

“Where did you get the bandages?”

Twilight shrugged, not looking up as she spoke. “Knowing you, I preemptively packed some supplies in the event that you’d do something like this.”

“You thought that far ahead?”

Twilight finally looked up, frowning. “I always look this far ahead.”

Rarity coughed, interrupting their exchange. “I suppose this answers one question. Now I’m sitting here wondering why Sunset decided breaking out of the hospital would be her best move.”

“Isn’t it obvious? Sunset wants to be Fluttershy’s knight in shining armor!” Pinkie Pie said, leaning into the table with her elbows. “Is there anything more romantic than nearly bleeding to death for someone?”

“I refuse to respond to that.”

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. “Girls, as much as I’d love to stay and chat with you all, I need to see Fluttershy. Dash, can I go to your house with you?”

Rainbow Dash looked puzzled. “Er, sure, I guess. I don’t know how you figured that out since Twilight probably would never tell you that, but okay.”

“Where else would she be?”

“Fair enough.”

The two of them stood up; Twilight rising a second later. “W-wait! Let me come with you. I want to check on her too.”

“You can count on the rest of us comin’ as well,” Applejack said, Pinkie Pie and Rarity nodding in agreement.

Pinkie Pie was the last to get up, pausing to wave to Mrs. Cake in the doorframe. “I’ll be right back, Mrs. Cake! Please don’t dock my pay again, thankies!”

With that, the girls left Sugarcube Corner in the middle of Pinkie’s alleged work shift, blood still on the floor and Roseluck still unconscious. Mrs. Cake’s eye twitched as she stared at Lily and Daisy hyperventilating over Roseluck’s unmoving body.

“Why is she in a coffin?”

Sunset was certain that this scene looked significantly less macabre for her friends than it did for her. Seeing Fluttershy’s paled skin and protruding fangs made Sunset realize just how different she was.

“I’d hate to break it to ya, sugarcube, but she’s been sleeping in a coffin ever since… the incident,” Applejack said, placing air quotes around the last few words. “I don’t know why she does it. Must be an instinctual thing or somethin’ like that.”

“It’s actually really comfy!” Pinkie Pie said, emphasizing her statement with a bounce. “You should try taking a cat nap in one sometimes, or even a regular nap if you’re feeling really bold.”

Sunset stared at her with bewildered eyes. “I’m sorry, you slept in a coffin?”

“I plead the fifth.”

Twilight placed one hand on Fluttershy’s forehead, wincing. “Ice cold,” she murmured. “I don’t understand her physiology at all. It’s anyone’s guess as to when she’ll wake up from this.”

Sunset kneeled down, pressing two fingers against Fluttershy’s neck. Albeit faint, there was still a pulse. Fluttershy’s breathing was so shallow that it was difficult to tell if she was breathing at all. “C’mon, Fluttershy. I don’t know why you won’t wake up, but I want to talk to you again. I need to hear your voice.”

Another second of silence passed, then Sunset leaned in, kissed Fluttershy’s ice cold lips. Her heartbeat rang loud enough in her ears that she couldn’t hear her friends’ reactions. Not like it mattered to her, anyway.

Sunset waited for a moment, eagerly staring at her, looking for some sort of indication that she was even alive. For some reason, she knew what would come next.

Sunset gripped the corner of the coffin tight. A single blink, then another, then Fluttershy’s eyes were open.

“You’re kidding me.” Rainbow Dash facepalmed. “That was all it took? Seriously?!”

“W-what?” Another blink. Fluttershy’s voice was raspy as if she’d gone without water for the entire day. “Girls? What’s going on? Where am I?”

Sunset breathed a sigh of relief, weaving her fingers through Fluttershy’s. “You’re in Rainbow Dash’s house. You drank too much blood and fainted. You’re safe now.”

“O-oh.” Fluttershy’s eyes widened. She briefly stared at Sunset’s borderline emaciated body, including the bandages wrapped around her arm. “Goodness, you look terrible, Sunset. What happened to you?”

“I, uh, fainted too.” Sunset chuckled. “You may have bitten off more than you could chew, literally.”

Twilight scoffed, “There was no literal chewing, Sunset. She siphoned the blood out of your arm like a starving mosquito.”

Fluttershy would have paled if her skin could get any paler. “It was my fault, wasn’t it?” Moisture formed at the edges of her eyes before she blinked away tears. “I knew this would happen eventually, I just knew it.”

“Hey. Calm down,” Sunset cooed, gently stroking Fluttershy’s hair with one hand. “Accidents happen, and yeah it sucks, but we’re both okay now.” Sunset stood up, glancing at her friends for a second before looking back at Fluttershy. “Can I get you something to drink? Other than me, of course.” Her smile grew. “Maybe like, hot chocolate or something?”

Fluttershy sniffled before flashing her a smile, one fang sticking out of the corner of her mouth. “I’d like that.”

Rainbow Dash’s couch was no coffin, but with Sunset cuddling up next to her, Fluttershy was equally as cozy. Everyone but Dash had left, leaving the two of them huddled against one another, each holding their own respective cup of hot chocolate. Sunset gently removed her arm from around Fluttershy, reaching over to her backpack that sat at the edge of the sofa.

"Here, I got some of these for you," Sunset said, opening her bag and handing Fluttershy several blood bags.

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Sunset, did you steal these from the hospital?"

Sunset clicked her tongue, avoiding Fluttershy's stern gaze. "Well... I wouldn't call it stealing, per se."

"It's illegal! It has to be!"

"I mean, it's not like the people who are supposed to receive the blood will be mad at me."

"That's because they'll be dead instead!" Fluttershy shouted, reaching the extreme volume of an audible inside-voice.

Sunset crossed her arms, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. “Geez, I went through a lot of trouble to get you that stuff. Looking back on it, I don’t know why I bothered.”

Fluttershy clenched Sunset’s hand. “E-eh!? I didn’t mean to make you upset. A-am I really that much of a burden?”

Sunset smiled. “Fluttershy, I really do love you, but sometimes… you can be a real pain in the neck. Though, after everything that's happened, I still don't know why you woke up from that coma with a kiss.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. "Isn't it obvious? Everyone knows that vampires rise at Sunset."

Author's Note

Edit: The ending has been slightly modified courtesy of Darkstarling for providing me with a significantly better pun than the one I'd come up with. So props to him.

It's a Christmas miracle (I know it's July), Jack wrote two stories this year and one of them was for a contest despite having never won once (I'm still hoping).

Let me know what you all think. This story was a pleasure to write (for the most part, anyway). :twilightsmile: