Chip and Dale Annoy Ponyville
It was that time of year again that every warm-blooded mammal dreaded. The fall season was coming to a close, and in a few days the first snow of winter would come and blanket the countryside in frozen white crystal. This meant every smart mammal would need to start storing their food now, or risk having to scrounge for scraps after the winter snow had covered it up.
Two mammals in particular had been rather busy rather busy doing just this. In their own language they referred to each other as Chip and Dale. Chip is the one with the small black nose and single tooth, and Dale is the one with the big red nose and buck teeth. Remember that now.
Of the two, Chip had been the one most adamant about getting their storing done. After all, he never did like scrounging and he absolutely hated the cold. Dale on the other hand was interested in sleeping and eating what they found rather then searching for food. A quirk Chip knew about his friend that aggravated him to no end.
Chip had just collected the last pawful of nuts the two would need to be ready for their long winters sleep. He scurried up the tree he called home, and tossed the nuts into the hollowed out knot at its top. He paused when he heard the nuts collide with the inner workings of the tree rather then their large pile of collected nuts.
He turned and screamed in horror upon seeing the entire pile of nuts they had collected over the fall completely gone. He ran towards his roommate, who he saw napping in the corner of the knot. He grabbed him and tried to shake him awake.
He squeaked in his chipmunk speak, producing sounds that sound like he was saying: "Dale wake up! Someone broke into the tree and stole-"
His squeaks died in his throat when he noticed his friends distended belly and the contented smile on his face. Chip's brow furrowed in an enraged scowl. He lifted his foot and kicked it into Dale's bottom, sending the other chipmunk rolling across the floor and into the wall of the tree. He now sat on his shoulders against the wall in an upside down lean as he stared at his friend.
"You big baboon!" Chip squeaked. "You ate all the nuts!"
Dale blinked in confusion before looking around to see what Chip was talking about. Noticing no nuts within the tree, Dale then scratched his head as if he seen the nuts all there before falling asleep.
Chip marched over towards his friend before slapping his feet, sending Dale flipping over onto his bottom. "Let me guess, sleep eating again?" Chip questioned. "I wish you'd save it till winter."
Chip turned and walked towards the hole in the tree. "Looks like we'll need to get more food." He grumbled. Dale smiled and waged his tail in anticipation. He always liked going out on excursions with Chip, even if searching for food wasn't his favorite thing to do.
Chip and Dale both scurried out onto the branch that lead into their home. They stood on their hind legs and began to search for any place that might still have a steady amount of food for them to collect. Suddenly Chip spotted something in the distance.
"Hey look!" He shouted, grabbing Dale's head and twisting towards where the sun would rise. Before them stood a vast orchard of apple trees, all of them still full of fresh juicy apples and just waiting to be picked. Dale's smile grew wider and he licked his lips in anticipation.
"Come on, let's go!" Both scurried down their tree and started darting across the grass towards the orchard.
Meanwhile, a certain farmer mare was picking said apples. Applejack, second eldest of her branch of the Apple family, was a simple mare with simple desires. She loved three things, her friends, her family, and her vast acres of apple trees. She didn't ask for much, and expected to work for everything she'd gain. So it should come as on surprise that she was very protective of her apples.
No pony, and I mean no pony, would ever think of stealing the Apple family's apples, or they'd risk getting a beat down from the sturdy farm-breed mare, and of course small animals like chipmunks were no exception.
Applejack trotted herself to the base of one her trees while humming a catchy little ditty to herself. "Hm Hm Hm Hm... Raise this barn, raise this barn, 1, 2, 3, 4..." On the four she delivered a powerful kick to the base of the tree's truck. The vibrations of the kick caused the tree to shake and loosen all the apples from its branches, which all fell in strategically placed baskets waiting below. With her applebucking finished, she moved over to one of the baskets to inspect the fruit.
Looking them over, she smiled with pride. They were some of the shiniest and most pristine apples she had ever had the pleasure of kicking out of a tree. She was so proud of them in fact, that she decided to treat herself to a sample before gathering them up with the rest of the harvest.
She took one out and shined it upon her chest fur. She smiled at the reflection she could see in it's skin. "What a beauty." She proclaimed, before turning it over and gasping in shock.
A huge bite had been taken out of this apple. She then looked down towards the basket and began to shake it. The apples turned over revealing more bites taken out of them.
Applejack suddenly felt he heart sink. "My apples..." She moaned, sounding saddened.
She heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet against the tree, which made he hide behind the basket she had been inspecting. Two chipmunks were walking down the tree, both with arms full of apple cores.
They both stop on the rim of the basket before tossing the left over cores inside. The second chipmunk in the line turned as he was making his way back up the tree towards the pony hiding behind the basket. He saluted and squeaked out something that sounded like, "thank you", like she was some kind of garbage mare hear to take their trash. Applejack didn't like that one bit.
Before he could make it back up the tree, Dale was snatched up in Applejack's hoof. She wanted to tan the little critter's hide right then and there, but a lesson she learned from a few vampire fruit bats told her otherwise.
Applejack took in a deep breath before letting it out. "Howdy there friend." She greeted the rodent in her hoof. "Listen, Ah know yer hungry and all, but Ah can't be havin' no critters messin' up my harvest this late in the season. Me and my family need these apples for jams and preserves we sell during the winter. So why don't you and yer friend just mosey along, and we'll pretend this never happened, okay?"
Dale pulled out his paw from Applejack's grip and scratched his chin in thought. He then nodded accepting her request. Applejack smiled back at him.
"That's mighty kind of ya, partner." She placed Dale back down on the rim of the basket. Dale then began to look to his left and right before motioning Applejack to come closer, almost as if he wanted to tell her a secret.
"Huh?" Applejack leaned down closer as Dale began to whisper in her ear. It had been a while since she had taken those animal speaking classes with Fluttershy, but from what she could make out, the little critter was telling her that there was still some fresh apples near the top of the tree they hadn't gotten to yet.
Applejack stood back up and gave the chipmunk a friendly smile. "And Ah'm assuming you tellin' me this as a way of apolygzin'?" Dale nodded at her as he waged his tail.
"Alright partner, show me were they're at." Dale nodded again, and motioned his paw for her to follow him. The chipmunk and mare climbed up the tree towards a higher branch where a large hollow knot lay on the side of the tree. Dale stopped Applejack before the knot and asked her to help him inside. As she did so, he also motioned her to place the basket at the base of the knot.
Applejack smiled as Dale jumped inside and she placed her basket where she was instructed. "Ya know, maybe Fluttershy's right. These little critters ain't so bad after all."
The fact that a large pile of apple cores shot out of the knot and landed in her basket, made her current thoughts shift significantly. "Or maybe they're all a bunch of lyin' varmints! Get out here you-! Ouch!"
One of the chipmunks bite her hoof as she she reached in to grab them, sending her falling out of the tree. Both Chip and Dale jumped out of their knot and then dumped the pile of apple cores, including the basket, on Applejack's head for good measure.
Applejack lifted herself out of the dirt, and grumbled to herself with the basket still over her head. "Ya try to be a nice pony, but noooo."
The sounds rolling apples caught her attention like the sounds of a moving train. She lifted her basket to see the same chipmunk that tricked her pushing a long line of apples towards the knot in the tree.
"No ya don't!" Applejack leaped back onto the tree and climbed up to were the apple train was moving. She grabbed onto a branch near the one the chipmunk was pushing the apples on, and used it to redirect the apples onto a different path. Applejack laughed in triumph.
The red-nosed chipmunk then squeaked out something sounding like: "Hey look." Applejack turned her attention towards where the apples were heading only to see the black-nosed chipmunk using the same trick he used to direct the apples back into the knot.
Applejack growled in frustration. "Why you little-" She rushed across the branch towards the chipmunk only for him to move the branch away at the last second and change Applejack's direction off the branch and into the open air.
Applejack fell face first downwards and landed on her hat. Applejack picked herself up and noticed her flattened hat. "My hat!" She screamed in despair. She picked it up and cradled it as if it were her own child. She heard the chipmunks laughing at her from the branches above and suddenly began to see red.
"That tears it!" She rushed off at a speed that normally would be achievable by a normal earth pony mare. After shooting into her barn, she shot back out towards the tree where the chipmunks were waiting.
Under her front leg she held her family's old fireplace bellow and a canister of insect-killing power. She loaded the bellow with the power and puffed up the valve. She then sprayed it at the tree with enough vigor to cover the entire tree top with only one pump. She didn't normally like to use pesticides on her trees, but in this case she thought the quickest solution would definitely be the best.
She climbed up the tree once she was sure the cloud of insect power had dissipated completely, and upon reaching the top spread the foliage in front of her hoping to see unconscious chipmunks before her. Unfortunately, they seemed to have anticipated her attack and have put on a pair of gas masks preemptively.
Applejack blinked in astonishment. "Who are you too? Pinkie Pie?!" The two chipmunks continued to ignore her as they took off their masks and began to eat more of her apples.
Applejack grit her teeth in rage. "Hey! Ah'm talking to you!"
The red-nosed chipmunk was the first to finish his apple. He looked at the core before looking back at Applejack.
He smiled. "Apple care."
Applejack raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Baltimare." She replied.
"Who's your friend?" He continued the rhyme.
Applejack pointed towards herself. "Me." Then was promptly hit in the face by the apple core sending her falling out of the tree.
She landed on the bellow upon hitting the ground, breaking it in half. As Applejack picked herself up she noticed its shattered remains. "Granny's antique bellow!" She heard the chipmunks laughing at her again.
Applejack growled and slammed her hooves in the dirt. "That does it! When Ah get my hooves on you, Ah'm feedin' ya both to Winona!"
She began to pace as she tried to think of a plan. She heard the chipmunks rolling more apples towards the hollow part of the tree when an idea hit her. She quickly rushed off and grabbed her wagon, and upon returning straddled up next to the tree.
She knocked on different parts of the bark until she found an area she recognized as being thinner then the others. She lifted her hind leg and used to puncture the tree. The apples began to start poring out and into the empty baskets in her wagon. Without a doubt this would go down as one of her proudest achievements.
Chip and Dale pushed their last batch of apples into the tree, only to find their entire stock had disappeared. Dale squeaked in dismay. "Chip there gone! Somebody stole our apples!"
Applejack laughed from down below. Despite her better judgement, she couldn't help but mock the two rodents after outsmarting them. She picked up one of her apple and took several bites out of it.
"Apple care." She stated.
Dale replied. "Baltimare."
"Who's yer friend?"
Dale looked over towards Chip before pointing at him. "Him." Dale was hit with the apple core anyways.
Applejack laughed as she spread off with the literal fruit of her labor in tow. Chip and Dale both glowered at her with equal anger before speeding off after her.
Before long, Applejack reached the Apple family silo, normally the storing place for all their grains, but currently was being used to house their bumper crop in order to avoid frostbite this coming winter. Applejack screeched to a halt in front of it, before haphazardly opening the door to the supply to chuck the rest in. She slammed the door shut before any of the apples could fall back out.
She unhitched herself from her wagon just in time to see Chip and Dale rushing towards the door. She leaped in front of them before they could reach it and spread herself over the door, to prevent them from grabbing the handle.
"Ha!" Applejack cried. "Now you'll never get to them now! The apples are all mine! All mine, ya hear!"
Chip and Dale looked at each other tentatively, before casually starting to step in the other direction away from the currently apple-crazed mare. But she wasn't about to let that happen neither.
"Y'all ain't goin' anywheres, neither!" Applejack leaped into the air above the chipmunks in an attempt to tackle them.
Both chipmunks darted to the left as Applejack collided with the dirt. She immediately picked herself up and shot to hooves to give chase. "Get back here you apple-thievin' varmints!"
The chipmunks dart in every direction in to escape Applejack, but found it impossible to shake her. No matter where they went, she was always close on their tails, and even though they were faster, her longer leg stride would eventually mean she would catch up to them.
They needed a plan, and fortunately Chip seemed to have one. He turned his head towards Dale. "Hey follow me!" Chip squeaked.
"Okay!" Dale replied.
Both chipmunks darted towards the silo, which rose Applejack's ire even farther. "Stay away from my apples!" She shouted, sounding more like a snarling beast then a pony.
The chipmunks didn't listen and instead kept running forwards. Applejack didn't up her charge as both she and the chipmunks grew closer to the silo. She thought for sure the rodents were heading for the door, but to her surprise they darted in opposite directions upon reaching it. Before she could realize what they were planning, Applejack found out she was too close to attempt turning.
She collided with the metal door of the silo with all the impact force of a runaway freight train, indenting an imprint of her face on the door before falling backwards with the door still suctioned to her face.
The apples now free of the constraints of the door began flowing forth out of the silo, burying both Applejack and the chipmunks, as well as everything within a twelve foot radius.
Dale pulled himself out of the sea of apples first, only to see his legs were pointing in the wrong direction then where they should be. To correct this, he grabbed onto the legs and turn them back towards himself, only to find they were Chips legs and he had just severely hurt him. Before Chip could bop Dale a good one, they found themselves rising into the air.
Pulling herself out of the sea of apples, Applejack found she still had the metal door still stuck to her face. With a little effort, she managed to pull the door off her face, before turning to look at her silo.
"My family's silo!" She proclaimed. She looked around at the apples scattered all over the ground. "My apples!" She looked upwards to see the two chipmunks currently trying to keep balance a top her head. "My patience, has plum run out!"
She shot her hooves up in order to grab the chipmunks only to have them leap off her head before she could reach them. The darted out into the orchard and out of Applejack's sight.
The farmer mare was now snorting like a bull. A vein on her head had grow so large it had threatened to burst strait out of her skin, and before she could think to speak any coherent words to express her emotions, she released a loud and unpony-like roar that could scare away most monsters from the Everfree.
She shot back towards the barn, but this time instead of grabbing one pesticide, she grabbed every pesticide, poison and acid she could find in her cabinet. Using a barrel near the barn she dumped every ounce of the fluids into it and began stirring them with a wooden spoon. Pretty soon she had created a toxic, corrosive sludge so powerful, she was certain it could kill anything that lived on the planet, and what better way to test it then to use it on a pair of irritating chipmunks.
She shot out into the orchards with the barrel tucked under her foreleg and the spoon held firmly in her mouth. Upon spotting the chipmunks her cheeks spread into a devilish grin.
"Ah'm gonna fricassee you rodents!" Applejack shouted through gritted teeth. Using the spoon, she stuck it into the sludge before whipping it forward and sending the poison careening at the two chipmunks.
Chip and Dale darted to the side, nearly avoiding the poison as it collided with the ground and exploded. Both chipmunks looked horrified before turning back towards the apple mare.
Applejack continued to stare at them with a wicked grin. "There's more where that came from, ya varmints!"
Chip and Dale shot off in the opposite direction as Applejack gave chase.
They first tried hiding in the silo, but Applejack quickly blew that up leaving it as nothing more then a metal roof and a couple metal rings. They then jumped into a haystack, but quickly burned through that as well, leaving only the two chipmunks and a needle Dale found underneath.
Finally, after running out of places to hide, the chipmunks decided to venture into a place they had visited before, an oddly small house with wired windows and wooden ramp.
Applejack absentmindedly launched her net glob of poison goop in their direction, only to hear it splat on the ground rather then explode. Apple paused and placed her concoction down. She curiously scratch at her head as she pondered why the poison didn't explode this time. These thoughts soon shifted to something different when she heard the sounds of curious clucking coming from the tiny house.
Applejack eyes shot wide open as she placed her hooves on top of her head. "My chicken coop!" She shouted.
She shot inside the chicken coop to search for the sludge before it could explode. She thankfully didn't see any chickens, which meant they must have been outside and away from the blast radius. However, she soon heard clucking again, and turned her towards the chicken she had heard earlier. Alarmingly, their was a large scorch mark on the wood right before where the chicken was sitting. The chicken must have eaten it, and what was worse, it was her favorite chicken.
"Clara! Please tell me you didn't eat the slime that flew in here!" The chicken only responded with a few sharp clucks, before crowing loudly and laying an egg.
For a moment Applejack looked confused. "An egg?" She picked it up in order to examine it. It seemed to be ticking. "A ticking egg." She chuckled noting the absurdity of the situation.
It was only when the egg started to tick faster that she realized the severity of her situation. "Oh no." She tossed the egg out of the coop without a second thought. She let out a sigh of relief, before noticing the egg had landed in the larger batch of sludge she had created.
Applejack screamed in terror and shot towards the barrel, hoping to get rid of it before the whole thing could go up in smoke. Chip and Dale tentatively sneaked towards the door to the chicken coop and watched as Applejack ran toward the explosive sludge. They had to shield their eyes from the light of the blast when she at last reached it.
Where the barrel and farmer mare once stood was now an extremely deep hole. Applejack was no where in sight, but their was a distinct whistling sound coming out from the center of the hole. Chip and Dale ran over to inspect the strange noise.
The whistling soon stopped and a loud thud was heard from the bottom of the hole. A loud foreign accent was shouting loudly from the other side, if either of the could speak pony, they would know it was neighponese.
Curious, dale grabbed a nearby apple core and dropped it down the hole. The foreign speaking pony began to say words that they understood.
"Apple care."
"Baltimare..." Applejack stated in a woozy voice. Chip and Dale let out a sigh in relief that the farmer mare had not been lost to the explosion.
"Who's a the friend?"
Unable to think clearly Applejack replied. "Me..?"
A loud splat and a shout of pain was heard from the other side of the hole. Both Chip and Dale began to laugh wildly, not just because the situation was funny, but because they knew picking apples for the rest of the fall would now be a whole lot easier.
Author's Note
This chapter was based off the short Donald Applecore. Hope you all enjoy it, and look forwards to more chapters in the near future.
