My Name Is...

by DmitriTheWriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1097

The ambassador for the kirin ponies shows up in Canterlot to take up residency, and his name is something to be remembered, mostly because nopony can write it down.

With the discovery of the kirin within Equestria's domain, the kirin saw it fit to send an ambassador to Canterlot to advocate on their behalf within the Equestrian government. When Princess Celestia asks this ambassador for his name, though, all Tartarus breaks loose.

Published 2018-11-05 02:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-05 02:50:01 UTC

What A Coincidence, My Name Is Also...

Twilight Sparkle could barely keep her excitement contained. Princess Celestia had summoned her and her alone to Canterlot on the same day that the ambassador from the hidden kirin village was supposed to arrive in Canterlot. She was disappointed to have to leave her friends behind for a few days, but this was a historic moment in Equestrian history, and she did not want to miss it. She walked along the streets of Canterlot, hoping to see if she could catch the kirin ambassador before they made it to the royal palace and try to get to know them a bit better. As Twilight passed a cafe called the Rise And Shine Cafe, she saw a kirin stallion sitting at one of the outside tables, sipping a tall cup of coffee and frantically looking over the maps he had sprawled across his table. Twilight walked over to the clearly very stressed kirin's table and sat down across from him.

"Hello," the kirin stallion said amicably, before he realized who he was talking to and promptly gasped comically. "Y-you're Princess Twilight Sparkle, right?"

"Why yes, I am," Twilight answered. "Are you the kirin ambassador to Equestria, by any chance?"

"As a matter of fact, I am," the ambassador said. "What can I do for you?"

"Perfect! What's your name?" Twilight asked.

"My name?" the ambassador said, with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "Uhh, you can just call me Spring Twinkle. That's a simple enough name."

"Is that your real name?" Twilight said.

"No, but my real name is kind of...unprintable," Spring Twinkle said.

"Unprintable?!" Twilight said, blushing furiously.

"Oh, not like that!" Spring Twinkle added. "It's just that it's so long that nopony could possibly write it down.

"I understand," Twilight said. "So you know your way to the royal palace well enough?"

"Er, no...I don't," Spring Twinkle said sheepishly, placing one of his hooves behind his head. "Would you please show me? I wouldn't want to be late for my first day on the job. That'd be embarrassing."

"I'll say..." Twilight said.

Twilight Sparkle lead Spring Twinkle to the royal palace at Canterlot, opening the front doors to a throne room filled with ponies of the royal court. Princesses Celestia and Luna sat on their thrones, surrounded by all manner of scribes and butlers, as well as two lines of royal guards that flanked the red carpet in the center.

"Fillies and gentlecolts of the Equestrian royal court, I'd like to introduce the kirin ambassador to Equestria!" Twilight introduced.

Spring Twinkle knelt before the Royal Sisters. "It is an honor to serve you, Your Royal Highnesses," he said.

"Oh, please, just call us Princesses," Celestia replied. "Anyways, it is an honor to have you with us, er...what is your name again, ambassador?"

"Just call me Spring Twinkle please," Spring Twinkle pleaded. "It's simple enough for most purposes."

"Is that your real name?" Celestia said.

"Well no, but..." Spring Twinkle trailed off.

"Ambassador, we're going to need your real name so that we can put it in our official records," Celestia said. "So would you please tell us your name?"

"You want my real name?" Spring Twinkle called out to the Equestrian court. "Because I doubt you could even handle my real name. My real name is so long that, printed, it could wrap around the planet twice over and still not be finished!"

"Just tell us your real name, please. I don't have time for this," Celestia demanded exasperatedly.

"Alright, fine," Spring Twinkle said, taking a few deep breaths. "Here goes. My name is Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke."

Everyone in the throne room, including the guards, just stood with their eyes open wide and their mouths agape, trying in vain to comprehend what they just heard. "Um, could you repeat that, please?" Celestia asked, still flabbergasted.

"I said my name is Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke!" Spring Twinkle repeated.

"Well what a coincidence," one of the royal guards, a pegasus nearer to the princesses on the left, said. "My name is also Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke."

"Impossible!" Spring Twinkle said, his coat turning dark and his mane transforming into a raging blue fire. "There can only be one! I'll kill you Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke!"

"I'd like to see you try, Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke!" the guard said, flying up and readying his spear for combat.

"What is going on?!" Twilight asked, crumpling to the floor and cradling her head in her own hooves.

"As co-sovereign of Equestria, I command you both to stop your fighting at once!" Celestia commanded.

"I want a second opinion!" Spring Twinkle snarled.

"As fellow co-sovereign of Equestria, I also command you to cease your quarrel!" Luna added.

"Fine!" Spring Twinkle bellowed, his blue fiery mane raging harder, spiking briefly before petering out and returning to its regular form. His coat also returned to its previous lighter complexion. "Anyways, just call me Spring Twinkle please."

"I think we'll take you up on your suggestion, Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpoko-" Celestia suddenly stopped, winced in pain, then chuckled slightly. "I bit my tongue trying to say your name. Anyways, we can show you your accommodations at the embassy if you like."

"Thank you, Princess," Spring Twinkle said. "I hope to represent the kirin well in your court."

Author's Note

Fun Fact: Autumn Blaze's real name is also Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji no Burakoji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke.