Smart Villain Shorts! EP2
"X to doubt." Smart told the now confused Princess Luna. She had just told him Celestia took his insult as a compliment.
"What art thou talking about?" Smart chuckled.
"Detroit: Become Human."
"What is that?"
"Sit down, for this is a tale...." He told her his favorite path down the game as if it was a real story. When it ended, she was leaning against him, nuzzling his neck softly. "-And then...well, it ended."
"What a beautiful story..."
"You're in heat, aren't you?" He suddenly asked.
"Yes..." She looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Please....It's so hot.." Smart seemed to be debating...
"Bitch I'm not. I'm already in her bed." Huh, he is... Luna is grinding against his naked body. "Kinky." Grrr....shut up, please. I'll give you and Luna free box of the fabled Orgasm O's. "LE GASP! Okay, shutting up." Luna's horn lit up, and all his clothes disappeared.... "WAIT! Write the clop!" No....
*2 hours later*
"Ah, that was nice..." Luna was in a blissful state. He had pounded relentlessly into her, and had given her 25 orgasms. He had his clothes on, and was going to get something to eat. As soon as he opened the door...
"No....." He took a step back. "Ah, shit."
"What?" Luna asked in worry, but was too sore to move. He steped aside, allowing her to see. It was a royal guard, dead and nailed to a wooden female gender symbol. She nearly vomited.
"The Femenazis are here...."
"....Pardon?"
"Oh yeah, right. Femenazis are women....or mares, that want all men dead." He was studying, and saw evidence of copious amounts of hot glue used. "Ah shit."
"hmm?"
"They sent the Legion of 5-Minute Troom."
"What is that?"
"Basically, totally useless 'Life Hacks' from the amalgamation of the Youtube channels Troom Troom and Five-Minute Crafts, both of which are clickbait shittyness."
"We only understood about half of that, but they're bad, yes?" He nodded.
"They will have a base somewhere in the Badlands of Reddit."
"The only Badlands are the....Badlands." He shrugged.
"Eh, close enough. Well, I'll go kill them now. Bye." He simply left, walking down the halls. He came across a changeling, which attacked him. The changeling died. Walking outside, he shot another changeling whom attacked him. He opened his map and fast traveled to 'Badlands' Borderlands style. Appearing there, he began to walk....
Eventually, he came to the massive base. Kilometers in every directions, he couldn't take this fucker down. He smiled deviously, and invited his party to play 50 v 50. The Battle Bus appeared, and everybody thanked the driver before jumping off. For no reason, guns n' shit were everywhere, and everyone was picking them up, also destroying boulders for 'mats'. Using the chat, Smart said he was going to play siege music. He pulled out a Ghetto Blaster, and slid a cassette into the proper slot, hitting play:
Smart had the Ghetto Blaster on his shoulder, and was head banging, wearing Canada-themed glasses. For once, I'll tell you what he looks like. He is wearing a fedora, and a 'Canadian Tux', which is a denim jacket and jeans. Shoes? Standard-issue Male Resistance Group boots. 'Wat?' You ask? 'Where the fuck does he come from, and what drugs are you on?' I am on no drugs, surprisingly, even to myself. Here's the abridged story of his Manyverse:
In 1010/7/10 (Year 1010, 7th month, 10th day.), magic was discovered when a terrorist sent a bomb to a king to kill him. When it exploded, the king held out a Nope card, cancelling out the effect. That is magic. Memey and comedic. Eventually, it was 2017. It would never change, because of one ~~woman~~ man. Damn Femenazis remaking everything with women. So, a dastardly villain wanted to send Fortnite, and the technology to play it back it time to before Jesus was born. To stop the Fortpocalypse, a wizard froze time, causing it to be eternally 2017. If fact, anything they made to tell time would stop at the year 2017. Anyways, because of this, the Femenazis took over, destroying the environment and killing every man. The remaining men live in Sault Ste. Marie, ON. their leader dies. Actually, he doesn't die, he just goes to a different Equestria, meeting Raven, the Godess of Darkness. They have a human son, and send him to the Femeverse, where he becomes the most wanted Femenazi criminal. His actual birth name is Smart Villain, due to pony naming logic. His dad is Canadian Villain. A group known as 'Captain Capitalist & Company; Creative Commons Copyright Conundrum' shows up out of nowhere, and starts to kick Femenazi ass. Another group, the Asshole 4, also shows up, being assholes in the Femenazi-controlled Canadian territory. I actually drew all 4 members of C7, but I don't have a phone, or anything that could take a picture of the drawings. (C7 stands for 'Captain Capitalist & Company; Creative Commons Copyright Conundrum') The members of C7 are:
-Captain Capitalist/Hiteler, the Jewish Shapeshifter Hunter. (Hiteler is his other personality, which is his at night. Heil Luna!)
-Commander Communism (How they are friends, we'll never know.)
-Butterfly Von Balisong/Officer Batong (Officer Batong is his nighttime personality.)
-Reaper of Normies
The members of the Asshole 4 are:
-Rogue (He has dual wield 2017's, which are sort-of 1887 shotguns that work where when you spin them 360 degrees, they fire. Basically, the faster you spin, the faster you fire.)
-Baron the Trapmaster (His favorite, and only war hammer has 40k carved into the helve, that has a bear trap on it.)
-Tallair Ten Yu (Heightist Elf.)
-Stevepunk (Steampunk engineer.)
-Admiral Ov'r Arm'ed (Over-armed Male Resistance Group admiral.)
So....Smart's home Manyverse is fucking weird, filled with memes, Menocide, and really weird fetishes.....wait, that last one is also our Manyverse. Seriously, you could probably find some dude who wants you to fuck him in a bathtub filled with ketchup & mustard, while he's dressed as a hot dog.
Author's Note
Exactly 1k words, motherfuckers!