I walked over to Fluttershy’s cottage. Yes, walked. As the Lord of Chaos, usually I like to appear and reappear around Ponyville. But I don’t feel like doing that today, I want to see other ponies, be…social, for once. As I slowly trudged through the bustling town, I felt eyes stare at me as the pierce through my back. Shivers ran up my spine as I saw all those individual eyes looking at me. Murmured whispered broke out amongst the grounds, as they stop to look at the strange former villain wandering through the town. Perhaps walking wasn’t the best idea. I glanced down nervously, and snapped my fingers, and reappeared in Fluttershy’s nice, cosy cottage. The shy yellow Pegasus was feeding a couple of birds some seeds, and she spun around too look at me.
“Discord? What are you doing here?” she asked, walking over to give me a hug. I blushed under her touch, and she let go. Despite feeling like utter trash, I forced on a fake smile.
“I just popped in for a visit. Your home is looking wonderful as always” I complemented with a smile. Fluttershy frowned, and tilted her head to get a better look at me.
“Come on Discord, I can tell when you’re upset”
I shifted my eyes under her gaze, “Whatever do you mean?”
She raised an eyebrow, “I know when something’s bothering you, tell me, it’ll make you feel better”
Fluttershy ushered me towards two chairs, and I slowly took a seat, as she sat opposite to me. I patiently waited for some conversation to begin, fiddling with my claw. Fluttershy sipped from her cup of tea.
“Well, I guess walking through town is a little hard. I didn’t really teleport here to be honest.” I explained hesitantly.
“What do you mean?”
I looked up, “Come on Fluttershy; not everyone sees me like you. I’m just…”
I thought of the right word. What was I to people? A reformed villain? A villain pretending to people that I was nice? Just pure evil? Or was I just a creature trying to fit in the world? The last one was true. I love to have jokes and a laugh with my friends. But my concept of fun may be different to other people. For example, making Twilight go get me that flower with Cadence. To be honest, my intent was to have a little fun. But Twilight just took it so seriously, and I just find it so funny to see her annoyed. And when I’m genuinely hurt, no one seems to realise. Because I’m the joker. I’m evil. I’m the bad guy.
“Discord, don’t think like that. You’re not who you were before” reassured Fluttershy, noticing my silence.
“I’m just the bad guy. Everyone wants me to be the bad guy. The creature everyone love to hate” I said, anger rising in my voice like a flame being ignited further.
“But do you really care what others think? What does it matter to you?”
But it does matter. Because in our world, what people do shapes what you do. Let’s say if everyone hated me. Which they do. That doesn’t make you feel good. It doesn’t make you feel like you belong. Because everyone gets along with each other. And the only problem, is me.
“No! You don’t understand! It does matter. Everyone loves you, so you don’t know how it feels” I raged, “If they want a bad guy, then they’ll get a bad guy”
Fluttershy’s eyes softened, “You’re not a bad guy. You’re my friend”
I felt my anger subside a little, “I know I am. But I can’t win them all”
***
Everypony gathered at the town hall for the Annual Summer Sun Celebration. The hall was decorated with elaborate streamers, posters, banners and more. Tons of red and yellow balloons surrounded the place, along with Vinyl Scratch playing music at the back. Pinkie Pie went all out for this one. Why was I here? I really don’t have much to do at home. So why not make an appearance, talk to Celestia, and just be there? After all, I’m as much a ‘princess’ as Twilight. Lord of Chaos is my title, I deserve to be there and show up. I decided to walk over to Fluttershy and her friends. Well, technically, I snapped my fingers and appeared there.
“Hey guys! What’s up?” I asked, casually leaning against the shelf nearby. The girls shared an anxious look, quietly murmuring to each other. Except for Twilight- she shameless glared at me.
"Hello Discord" Rarity coughed, "What brings you here?"
I stared at her. What brings me here? Um, I'm as much part of Equestria, and this town as she is! I have a right to be here thank you very much.
"Well, I was just passing by, and saw this little gathering and showed up" I lied smoothly. Rarity blinked, and looked at her friends, who were frowning. Fluttershy was the only one smiling warmly.
"So good to see you Discord! Would you like some punch?" she asked, offering me a glass. I nodded, and took it from her, ushering her over to the corner.
"You see what I mean? Look how they treat me" I retaliated, sipping the punch.
Fluttershy sighed, "They just need some time to warm up to you"
"How much time?"
Fluttershy grimaced, and looked down at her hooves. That was answer enough for me, "Fluttershy, I can't keep doing this. Whatever our friendship is, because it obviously doesn't mean much to anyone"
Fluttershy instantly looked up, "It means a lot to me! And you!"
It's true. I did believe she's my true friend. But I can't live with just one friend. Sure the others called themselves my friends, but it really didn't come across like that. How many times have we hung out? When have we ever enjoyed each other's company? Never, except for the time I tricked them into bonding with me. Some might say I need to mend my ways. I admit, I do, but I can only do that, if I have multiple friends to guide me. Which I don't.
"Listen, I get that. But it's hard to keep it up when I'm on my own, and to be honest, your company just isn't always enough for me" I replied, gently squeezing her hand.
"But you're all I need! If I had to live life with only you as a friend, I would, because that's how much you mean to me" Fluttershy cried, looking into my eyes with hers.
"I just need some time alone" I whispered, snapping my fingers and disappeared. And I had left with saying more than a few harsh words.
I really didn't know where I appeared when I opened my eyes. Strange. I was trying to appear back home, but for some reason I had arrived in some deserted, desolate place. The sky was grey and dark, reflecting my mood. Wind brushed through my mane, chilling, cold, and alone. Most of the place was sand, tumbleweed, and extremely tall patches of dried grass. There was a crumbling cobblestone path, leading up as a driveway up to a nice little house at the top of a hill, which looked very wrongly placed in the setting. Of course, instead of snapping my fingers out of there, stupid old me walked up the cobblestone pathway and into the house.
The front porch was dusty, and dry, as if no one had stepped on there for years. I dusted off my hoof and claw, and rang the doorbell. The eerie noise filled my ears, and I heard footsteps coming towards me. My breathing fastened, as I heard the noise come closer. Closer. The door burst open, throwing a ton of dust into my eyes. As I swatted away the dust, coughing, I saw a tall, non-reformed Changeling, with sleek matted hair, huge green eyes, long horn, and crown on top.
"Chrysalis? It's been a while" I said, pursing my lips.
"Come in Discord" The former Changeling Queen invited me inside her humble home. The floorboards creaked under my weight in agony. The faded wallpaper of yellow flowers and stripes was peeling of the cracked corner of the ceiling. Chrysalis ushered me to a seat at two largely cushioned seats, both with springs coming out, and the cotton is life spewing out.
We settled down, and I crossed my legs. Chrysalis coughed, "So what brings you by my humble temporary abode?"
"Temporary?"
Chrysalis nodded, "I keep switching homes so no one can find me"
"But why?" I asked. It wasn't like the cute ponies were going to do anything serious.
Chrysalis laughed, "You know very well they'll kill me when they see me Discord. As if trapping you in stone was much better"
I shuddered. That punishment was worse than death. It felt like someone was sucking all the love, life and hope out of you while you were in there. Torture. Pure torture that was.
"True. So...I'm here because...well" I really wasn't sure, "I guess I snapped my fingers and appeared here"
"Ah. Common emotion driven magic can make you appear where you most need to. Something I can help with?" Chrysalis asked.
I raised an eyebrow, "Why are you being so...nice?"
Chrysalis looked taken aback by the question, "I really don't have anyone else left. What I did with my Changelings to survive was necessarily. And now those meddlesome ponies don't understand, and destroyed my years of hard work"
Anger rose in her voice, and she took a deep breath, calming herself, "Villain to villain works"
I nodded. Chrysalis was always soft with those she felt connected to. We were friends for so long, and I guess she wanted to rekindle that friendship. We don't call it that though. More of a companionship, or alliance.
"I guess I'm 'reformed' but they don't understand that I'm genuinely good now" Those words felt weird out of my mouth.
Chrysalis though for a moment, "Well, their loss. What about the shy one you clung onto after you defeated me" Chrysalis said sourly.
Discord chuckled in comfort, "Let's leave the past in the past"
"Sure"
I coughed, "Well, Fluttershy is special...and-"
"Then that's all that matters. If you have someone you genuinely like and genuinely enjoy the company of, that's all you need. Screw other people. Enjoy your friendship before you lose it Discord"
I thought to myself. Wow, Chrysalis was so right. Why did I care? I guess all I need is my one friend, if I look closely. But that doesn't solve another problem of mine.
"But everyone think's I'm the bad guy and it's frustrating" I replied, twiddling my thumbs.
"That's because you are the bad guy. You always will be the villain. Once a villain, always a villain. Remember, that rule's only applicable for non-ponies. I mean, look what a liking they've taken to Starlight. Not like you at all"
"But that's because I'm different" I looked down onto the dust ridden flooring.
"Is that a bad thing? If you don't go around singing about friendship, that doesn't make you bad. Personally, I'd prefer you any day" Chrysalis said, placing a hoof on my shoulder.
I smiled appreciatively, "Thanks Chrissy"
"Don't push it"
Once again, I snapped my fingers. This time, I was in front of a cosy cottage, with the roof looking like a huge bush. Bird houses adorned the house, and it had a small stream as a moat in front of it, giving the house a natural feel. I slowly trudged up the pathway, and knocked on the maroon door.
"D-D-Discord?" stuttered Fluttershy, opening the door for me.
I smiled a weak smile, "May I come in?"
She plainly nodded, and I walked in with her. No change occurred in her house, as always. Animals buzzing around, Angel being grumpy, and the cute little furniture still in place. I awkwardly took at seat, and Fluttershy did the same. I snapped my fingers, and anxiously sipped a cup of tea. Fluttershy coughed.
"So...how's your garden doing?"
I put down my cup, "Okay, look, I'm really sorry about the Summer Sun Celebration"
Fluttershy glanced down, quiet. I took a deep breath in. Apologies really aren't my thing, especially to ponies I genuinely care about and don't wish to upset.
"I got caught up in the moment. I guess I'm just so frustrated that I'm always...bad" That word felt sour on my tongue, "Everypony thinks I'm not reformed, when I'm trying as hard as I can to get ponies to like me"
Fluttershy sighed, and looked back up at me, understanding filling up her eyes, "I do get it. It is very hard to have people dislike you. But Discord, why do you need to care? Sure some ponies don't like you, but that's okay. After all, there are seven billion ponies on Earth. Do you really think all of them will like you? You should never let it change who you really are"
"When Twilight sent out copies of our friendship journal, I realised we really can't change how ponies feel about us, but we can change how we let it effect us" Fluttershy giggled, "And as Pinkie said, 'How we don't let it effect us' After all, what's Discord without a little chaos?"
Realisation dawned on me as she said those words. How could I be so stupid? I felt like slapping myself. All I can do is be the best person I can, and be me. If other ponies don't appreciate that, that's there loss. I have an amazing friend with me in life, and that's all I'll ever need. Because I really have realised something.
I'm the bad guy. I always will be the bad guy. And you know what? That's perfectly okay, because I'm never changing who I really am, inside and out.
Author's Note
