Rainbow's Dilemma

by thunderhawk7865

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Slice of Life
Length: 2908

/Request from Lightning Flash/ Rainbow gets hiccups, and Lightning Flash must help her cure them.

/Request from Lightning Flash/

It is 8 years after Ace left Equestria, and Rainbow Dash is a now a Wonderbolt and is about to head out to practice. However, a freak accident caused by Thunder Lane, combined with the fizzy effects of some berry soda, gives Rainbow a horrible case of the hiccups. It's up to her good friend and fellow Wonderbolt, Lightning Flash, to cure her case of hiccups.

How far will he go to cure her condition? To what ends must he go to destroy these monstrous hiccups?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-04 04:34:02 UTC

Ch. 1: The Dilemma

Rainbow’s Dilemma

Written by Thunderhawk

Story by Lightning Flash

Art by Robsa990

Edited by Zimprus Nalune w/ Contributions from Henry Anthony Courtler

DISCLAIMER

This is a request fic that takes place in the world of the 7th Element 8 years after the original story and 2 years before ANDoTH. This is not a story of Thunderhawk's own mind, and is a request from a loyal fan, Lightning Flash. Any questions about what will happen next or anything at all should be referred to him. Do not pester Thunderhawk about it, because he has no more of a clue than you all do until he gets the synopsis from the requester.

Chapter 1: The Dilemma

The sun shone brightly over the town of Ponyville, ponies alike went about their business. A few Pegasi were in the air, clearing away the remaining clouds of the rainstorm they had scheduled the previous night.

“What a storm that was, eh, Thunder Lane?” A white and blue mare Pegasus said to the black stallion next to her as the two flew up behind a large cloud and prepared to push it.

The stallion Thunder Lane nodded furiously, “Oh, don’t even get me started. My little brother kept me up all night with his whining about his fear of lightning...” He lifted his two forehooves and bent them twice for emphasis.

The mare chuckled, “Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad...”

“You don’t know, Lightning Bolt! You don’t live with the kid!” Thunder Lane retorted sharply, but then looked around, “Hey, I wonder where Captain Rainbow Dash is this morning...she’s the one who ordered these clouds cleared...”

“Beats me...” Lightning Bolt said, looking around, “Wasn’t her kid supposed to—”

“GANG-WAY!!!!”

“Wha?” That was all Thunder Lane had time to say before a speeding dark blue and golden blur sped past the pair of Pegasi and exploded right through the cloud they were about to push, separating it into tiny little cloud fragments that were sent flying in all directions, including in the direction of Thunder Lane and Lightning Bolt.

“Help us out...” Lightning Bolt finished, blowing some clouds out of her face.

“Oops...hahaha...” A small, blonde alicorn with a spiky golden mane stopped his relentless bee-line through the air and turned towards the now cloud-covered Pegasi. “Sorry guys...hahaha...I said gang-way...hehe...” The alicorn snickered.

Thunder Lane’s eyes popped out of the cloud that was covered his face and, upon seeing Blazing Dawn, the alicorn son of Rainbow Dash, he narrowed his eyes, “Blazing Dawn...shoulda known...”

Blazing Dawn was beside himself with trying to contain his laughter, “Sorry, Thunder Lane...Lightning Bolt...hehahaheha...” He covered his mouth with a forehoof.

“This is the fifth time this has happened, Blazing Dawn!” Lightning Bolt snorted and shook some of the cloud off of her, only to send most of it flying onto Thunder Lane.

Blazing Dawn couldn’t help it anymore. He flipped in the air backwards laughing, gripping his stomach with his forehooves, “Thunder Lane looks like a fat marshmallow! Hahahaha!”

“Fat!?” Thunder Lane’s cheeks grew red underneath the cloud, “That’s it!” The clouds exploded off of him as the black Pegasi rocketed towards the young alicorn, “C’mere, you little snot!”

Blazing Dawn’s eyes widened in surprise as Thunder Lane shot through the air towards him, “Wuh oh!” Blaze barked before he took off in the opposite direction as fast as his young wings could carry him. Close behind him, Thunder Lane gave chase, his face red with anger. “Get back here and apologize, you little punk!”

“Gotta catch me first, Thunder Pain!” Blazing Dawn turned around and flew backwards for a moment before lifting up a forehoof, pulling his eyelid down, and sticking out his tongue, making a face at Thunder Lane.

“ARGH!” The Pegasus roared before picking up speed and swiping at the young troublemaker.

“Holy cud!” Blazing Dawn narrowly avoided Thunder Lane’s swipe and took off in the direction of the cloud dwelling he lived in with his mother, “Maybe Mom can get this guy off of me...”

“Oh NO you don’t!” Thunder Lane barked suddenly from behind the speeding alicorn, grabbing him with both his forehooves.

“Hey!” Blazing Dawn chuckled slightly as he tried to break free. “C’mon, Thunder Lane! Let go of me!”

“Oh no!” Thunder Lane seethed, glaring down at his prey. “I’m not letting your mother bail you out this time!”

“Oh yeah!? Well—” Blazing Dawn was about to retort as the pair sailed through the air when he looked ahead and his pupils shrank in shock, “Thunder Lane! You might wanna pull up!”

“Nice try, you little punk! Now, you’re gonna-ARGH!”

“YOU IDIOT!!!”

Rainbow Dash, wearing a Wonderbolts flight short, trotted through the living room of her cloud dwelling impatiently, rolling her eyes every time she looked at the clock nearby. “Ugh...” She finally uttered, tapping a forehoof, “That boy...he better not be out painting all the apples at Sweet Apple Acres with Applebloom as a prank again...” She snickered. “Although, that was pretty funny...” Rainbow shook her head, “No, Rainbow! Responsible parent time...” She took to the air and floated towards the door, then suddenly stopped in mid-air, “Drink...”

Rainbow turned towards the kitchen and flew inside, “Drink, drink, drink...” Sighing, she opened the fridge and pulled out one of the cans of berry soda Berry Punch had given her for her birthday last week. She snapped open the can with a sharp hiss and chugged the whole thing in under ten seconds. She crushed the can on her head and threw the can nonchalantly away into the nearby cloud can. “Ahhh...nice...” She took to the air, “Now to go find that boy...”

Suddenly, Thunder Lane and her son slammed through the ceiling and crashed down onto Rainbow Dash, “ARGH!”

“Nice job, jack-flank...” Blaze moaned, rolling off of the dog-pile they had inherently formed.

“Oh, pony feathers...” Thunder Lane moaned, rubbing his head. “First, I get into a argument with a little kid, then I crash headlong into the cloud of—” He looked down and leaped off in horror. “Miss Dash, ma’am!” He saluted nervously at his weather team captain, “I’m so, so, soooooo sorry! I...I didn’t mean to break your ceiling.”

Blaze scowled as his mother stumbled to her hooves and shook her head, “Pfff! Totally did!”

Thunder Lane briefly scowled in Blaze’s direction before smiling cheekily in Rainbow’s direction, whose cheeks were puffed up with what Thunder Lane thought was anger. “Look, Rainbow Dash, I-I’ll go fix it right now!” Thunder Lane took to the air and turned around to fly out the door when he heard a strange noise from behind him.

“HIC!”

Thunder Lane stopped short of flying out of the door and turned around, an eyebrow raised. “Miss Dash?” Blazing Dawn was staring at his mother with a stupid smile on his face, holding back a chuckle. Rainbow was holding a forehoof up to her mouth with dilated pupils. “Was that...you?”

Rainbow lowered her hoof and scowled with a blush at Thunder Lane. “Thunder Lane, don’t worry about the ceiling...I’ll fi-HIC!” She widened her eyes and slammed a forehoof onto her mouth again. “What the-HIC!”

At this point Blazing Dawn doubled over in laughter at his mother, collapsing on the floor and clutching his stomach with his forehooves. “Hahahahaha! Wooohoohoo! Mom’s got the-the...bwahahahaha!”

“Hiccups...” Thunder Lane muttered before holding a forehoof back to stifle a chuckle himself. “Pffff hahaha...”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes and bared her teeth at the black Pegasus. “You HIC think HIC something is HIC funny, punk!?”

Thunder Lane closed his eyes, still snickering. “Hehehe...no ma’am...” Thunder Lane couldn’t take it anymore. He fell over in laughter as well. “Bwahahahaha! Ooooh my dear Celestia above! Hoohoohoo!”

“Oh, that’s HIC it!” Rainbow scowled, spreading her wings and taking off, rocketing through the air towards an unsuspecting Thunder Lane.

“Ah...what a day for flying...” A grey Pegasus with an electric blue and black mane and tail said as he flew through the air. He had a Cutie mark similar to that of Rainbow’s and his eyes were monochromal; one being grey and the other being blue.  He wore a pair of flight goggles over his eyes as he soared through the air. The Pegasus was Lightning Flash, a long-time friend of Rainbow Dash and fellow Wonderbolt and weather team co-captain.

“I wonder if Rainbow Dash is actually ready to go to practice this time...” Lightning Flash snickered. “Being a parent has made her sof-WHOA!”

“AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

Lightning Flash managed to avoid a speeding black projectile that was flying through the air at an alarming speed.

“What the...?” Lightning turned and followed the projectile as it sailed down and slammed headlong into a tree. Lightning winced when he heard somepony cry out in pain. He flew down to where the projectile had hit the tree and chuckled when he saw a black flank and and electric blue tail sticking out of the tree. “Thunder Lane? Hahaha!” Lightning Flash flew around the tree to the other side, where Thunder Lane’s head was sticking out. “I didn’t know you wanted to be a tree!”

Thunder Lane groaned. “Shut it, Lightning...” The black Pegasus shook his head. “I didn’t do this on purpose...I was...well...” He blushed. “Thrown....”

“Thrown?” Lightning cocked and eye with an amused smile.

“Thrown.” Thunder nodded before trying to get free of the tree he was embedded in.

Lightning frowned, “How, pray-tell, were you...” He snickered and removed his goggles to make eye contact with Thunder Lane. “Thrown?”

“Well, it’s a long, painful story...” Thunder again tried to break free, but failed and slumped down again. “But it ends with Rainbow Dash getting hiccups and me getting...” He used a forehoof to make a throwing motion. “Thrown.”

Lightning Flash smirked. “Interesting...hiccups, you say?” Lightning looked towards Rainbow’s cloud in the distance.

“Yeah.” Thunder Lane said, rolling his eyes. “Can you believe it? Now, can you help me out of...”

Lightning was gone. An eagle sounded in the distance as Thunder slumped down in his tree hole.

“Buck...”

“This is HIC so HIC embarrassing...” Rainbow Dash flung her forehooves in front of her as she flew through the air back and forth in a pacing motion. “Hiccups...right HIC before practice! HIC!”

At this point, Blazing Dawn was perched on the couch, watching his mom pace through the air. He was done laughing at his mother’s trauma and was tapping his chin with a forehoof in thought.

“Well, mom...” Blazing Dawn looked up at her as she paced. “Have you tried holding your breath for as long as you can?” He shrugged. “It worked for Applebloom once.”

Rainbow flew down to her son. “HIC son, don’t be HIC ridiculous! Every HIC pony knows HIC that doesn’t HIC really work!”

Blazing Dawn cocked an eye. “Have you even tried, mom?”

Rainbow hiccuped again before sighing and flying back up into the air. “HIC fine...”

Rainbow inhaled sharply and closed her mouth, puffing up her cheeks in the process.

“Good job, mom...” Blaze took flight and flew up next to her. “Okay, now...just hold it for as long as you can...”

Rainbow nodded. “Mhm...” She managed to muffle out under her held breath.

There came a knock on the door suddenly, followed by a grey Pegasus opening the front door and barking, “Rainbow Dash! I heard you got the hiccups!”

“Lightning Flash, no!” Blaze held out his forehooves in desperation.

But it was already too late.

Rainbow let loose a huge hiccup after being distracted by Lightning’s entrance. The hiccup was so large, the force sent Rainbow flying in the opposite direction. She flew into the kitchen, a large crash was heard, and Rainbow Dash barked out a yelp of surprise, followed by series of smaller hiccups.

Blazing Dawn turned towards Lightning, who was frozen in place in the process of taking off his goggles, but was now staring at the kitchen. “Oops...”

Blazing Dawn frowned and groaned, then ran into the kitchen. “Mom, are you o...oh my...hahahaha...”

Lightning Flash closed the door behind him and flew into the kitchen and couldn’t help but start laughing himself at the sight before him. Blazing Dawn was on the floor laughing at his mother, who was tangled up in the remains of a destroyed chair on the floor with narrowed eyes. She bounced slightly when another hiccup escaped her mouth. She groaned and fell over backwards.

“Bwahahahahaha!” Lightning Flash landed next to her and put a forehoof up to his mouth. “Problem, Rainbow Crash? Hahaha!”

“You HIC swore you’d HIC never call me HIC that HIC again!” Rainbow sat up and retorted, bouncing slightly whenever she hiccuped.

“I say a lot of things, dear Rainbow...” Lightning Flash snickered before holding out a hoof and helping the tangled mare up. “There you go...” He brushed bits of destroyed chair off of her.

She scowled and shook the rest off of her. “How did HIC you know HIC I had HICcups?” She frowned and covered her mouth with a forehoof again.

Lightning Flash whistled, “Whew, that’s a bad case you have...” His head snapped up. “Oh, right...you kinda threw Thunder Lane at me...”

“Oh...HIC...” Rainbow sighed. “Sorry...HIC...” She smiled evilly. “How HIC far’d he HIC go?”

“Far enough...” Lightning said after helping up a still chuckling Blazing Dawn.

“I can’t HIC flunk out on HIC practice, Lightning! HIC!” Rainbow groaned as more hiccups came up as she talked. “I HIC can’t!”

Blazing Dawn sighed, “This has never happened before...it’s pretty shocking...and funny...” He snickered again, but stopped after earning a glance from his mother.

“How did this happen?” Lightning trotted over to the fridge and opened it up. He looked back with a dry expression. “I’m guessing Thunder Lane had something to do with it?”

“Well, HIC HIC HIC....” Rainbow tried to tell the story, but groaned and turned around, ashamed.

Blazing Dawn picked it up. “Thunder Lane and I had an incident...”

“An...incident?”

“An incident...” Blaze sighed. “I may or may not have called him fat...”

“Awesome move, slick...” Lightning turned back towards the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of water.

“Anyway, he chased me. He caught me and he crashed through the roof and hit mom...”

“I see...” Lightning took the pitcher of water in his forehooves, took flight, and placed the pitcher on the table. “Rainbow, come here...”

“HIC o HIC kay...” Rainbow Dash groaned before flying over and touching down near the table.

“Fly upside down...” Lightning Flash pointed at her.

“HIC what?” Rainbow cocked an eye.

“Just do it, Rainbow...this worked for my sister when she got hiccups...” Lightning folded his forehooves.

“HIC HIC fine...HIC!” Rainbow took to the air and started floating upside down, her eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Now...” Lightning took to the air and took the pitcher in his forehooves. “Drink this...all of it...” He held out the pitcher to Rainbow, who widened her eyes.

“Upside down?” Blazing Dawn had a face of shock and amusement. “Ohohohoh man!”

Rainbow shook her head. “No. Way. HIC!” She let loose a hiccup that sent her into a spiral. She quickly recovered and sighed, “HIC fine...”

She floated upside and took the pitcher from Lightning’s forehooves. As Lightning touched back down, she carefully lifted the pitcher up to her lips and began to drink, scrunching up her nose in concentration.

“Will this actually work?” Blazing Dawn muttered to Lightning Flash.

“It worked for my sister...” Lightning shrugged. “But, to be fair, I suggested it to her to embarrass her even more on her birthday...” Lightning chuckled. “It worked, though...they were gone...”

“Awesome...” Blazing Dawn said as he stared at his mom chug the pitcher of water.

“Mmmm...” Rainbow muttered as the pitcher was about halfway gone. “Mm oh...” Rainbow’s eyes widened.

“Red alert!” Lightning Flash yelled. “Hit the deck!” He flung himself onto the floor as Rainbow Dash let loose a massive hiccup that sent water from the pitcher and her mouth flying everywhere.

“ARGH!” Blazing Dawn cried out as he was drenched in water, flattening his spiky mane and tail.

Rainbow was flung into the ceiling from the force of the hiccup, the pitcher crashing to pieces on the floor. Her bottom half crashed into the ceiling and was stuck there. “Cuuuuu HIC uuuud!” Rainbow sighed, flinging her forehooves up in front of her.

Lightning slowly emerged from his hiding spot under the table and gasped at the drenched Blazing Dawn and the stuck Rainbow Dash.

Lightning stifled one last chuckle before sighing. “This is ridiculous...”

“What are we gonna do?” Blazing Dawn muttered, shaking the water off of him.

Lightning blocked his face with a forehoof to shield from the water before smiling and saying, “I know just the mare to talk to about this...

“HIC who? HIC!” Rainbow said from her position in the ceiling.

“A mare I know who deals with this kind of thing a lot...” Lightning smirked. “She usually gets them from too much laughing, though...”

“Oh Gods...” Blazing Dawn facehoofed. “I think I know who he is talking about...”

“Pinkie HIC Pie...” Rainbow muttered from the ceiling.

A/N: Well, hey hey! Another request fic! This one is from loyal fan and good friend, Lightning Flash.

I agreed to do it because I wanted to try my hoof at comedy for a change. So here it is! Expect to see more of it soon!

Pinkie Pie, huh? That should be interesting...

Bwahaha...