Imagination is a Weapon

by An Intricate Disguise

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Death, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Original Character, Sex
Length: 2067

Goblin Slayer has heard that a large goblin force has manifested in Equestria. Can he restore balance to the peaceful country with Purple Alicorn's help, and how many goblins will die to see him do so?

Goblin Slayer has heard that a large goblin force has manifested in a nearby country called Equestria. Can Goblin Slayer restore balance to the peaceful equines, and how many goblins will die to see him do so?

Also, how will he practice his most efficient killing methods with the gentle and forgiving 'Purple Alicorn' in his ear all the time?

He can only hope that she doesn't ever have to see first hand why their merciless eradication is so necessary.

Published 2018-11-07 02:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-07 02:40:02 UTC

A Nest in the Mountains

Goblin Slayer clunked his way through the muddy, earthen fields of the Equestrian countryside. His armour was worn and dirty, his muscles aching and left leg beginning to cramp, and he was running low on rations.

He was by no means superhuman, but he kept walking regardless. Goblins didn't stop roving because he was feeling faint.

He'd not eaten a good meal in days. Elven bread was his only means of sustenance, that and a little cheese from his farm home, now a good two week's trek behind him. He'd stopped off a few times for rest, under bridges and inside abandoned structures, but never found himself able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours at a time.

His devotion to his journey was stronger than his constitution, but he was used to running on fumes.

He knew very little about the land he was being sent to. Sword Maiden had told him that the beings that resided in this country were sapient animals, resembling ponies predominantly, and that was about as much as he'd been interested in, besides the general direction. Usually, he might have stayed to gather more knowledge on the area, enquired as to specifics regarding their peoples and cultures, but right now, there were goblins to hunt. That took precedence over everything.

He could see a town in the near distance. It was a rather quaint looking place, though it seemed to also be home to a tall, oddly shaped castle, almost appearing magical in architecture. He imagined a creature of importance resided there. That would be his first stop.

Goblin Slayer was tired of holding his heavy buckler up by his side. He wished to remove his helmet and fight off the sweltering heat. He wanted to stop walking and sit, have a wash and a sip of water.

He did none of those things, of course. When he finally entered the town, he found the locals to be ponies indeed, which told him he'd stayed true to his map. They were quite a lot smaller than him, and almost appeared too innocent for a culture that resembled that of humans so closely. Many of them looked at him with shocked and occasionally even fearful expressions, as if they'd not seen a creature of his kind before. Through his visor, he looked back, though they'd never know.

Briefly, Goblin Slayer pondered whether they would've been more or less scared if he wasn't fully suited in armour, if they could see what he truly looked like.

The thought was irrelevant to his situation. He passed by with stolid, tired movement, his steps not carrying the same soldier-like rigidity he was used to displaying. When he reached the door to the castle, he opened it without knocking.

The place appeared even more otherwordly on the inside. Opulent too. Stranger still was the sight of a small dragon, peering warily at him from the nearest corridor, which he appeared to be walking down when Goblin Slayer appeared.

"Who are you?" the drake asked, blinking rapidly, his voice coming out sharply, carrying the stench of false gallantry.

"I've been sent here to deal with a goblin infestation," Goblin Slayer answered without answering, stepping forwards and closing the door behind him. "Are you the leader of this land?"

"Wh-what?" The drake raised an eyebrow, as if he thought Goblin Slayer was mad. "No! Of course not. This is Princess Twilight's castle. I'm her trusty assistant."

"I see."

Assistant Drake held out a claw, pointing towards the corridor behind him. "Princess Twilight's in her study right now. If you want, I can go and tell her that you're here to see her, mister?.."

Goblin Slayer didn't understand why he paused. Was he expecting him to say something? "No need. Thank you for your assistance." With that, Goblin Slayer walked right past Assistant Drake, heading up the corridor.

"W-wait, hold on!" Assistant Drake scurried to catch up with him, a curious expression on his face. "Just what kind of creature are you? Where did you come from? What's with the sword and armour?"

Goblin Slayer didn't turn to face him, only continuing to walk. "I am a human, from over a thousand miles to the south. The sword and armour are for slaying goblins."

Assistant Drake put a finger to his chin, clearly trying to act less excited than he really was. "Huh, I see! So, what do you fight other than goblins? Ever tangled with a dragon?" He gave Goblin Slayer a nudge, going 'huh? huh?' as they drew closer to the door.

"I've never fought a dragon." Goblin Slayer reached the door, moving to open it. "Have you ever fought a human?"

"What, no! I'd never even seen one until today, only heard about them!" He didn't sound completely genuine.

"I could say the same about dragons." Before Assistant Drake could respond, Goblin Slayer opened the door to the study, shutting it behind him. He walked his way over to the table, where a pony much like the others he'd seen earlier was sat in a chair, reading a book. She was very similar to the others, with the exception of one thing. "Wings and a horn," Goblin Slayer stated. "Is this a rare thing?"

"Is that how you introduce yourself to everyone? Point out something weird about their bodies?" the pony smirked, before looking up from her book and catching sight of him. The change in her demeanour was almost instantaneous, mainly because she almost dropped the book. "Oh wow, what in the world?.. you're human, aren't you?!"

"I am," Goblin Slayer answered, before pointing a finger at the pony. "You still haven't explained to me what you are, however."

"Me? I'm an alicorn, the culmination of the three pony tribes, but wow, I've never seen a human in this plane! You didn't come from the mirror portal, did you? Oh gosh, that could be really bad... please don't tell me you came from the mirror portal."

Goblin Slayer watched as she became more neurotic and excited with every word, her wings buzzing and her face extremely animated. It was perturbing. "I came from the south. I don't know what a mirror portal is." After the alicorn heaved a heavy sigh for some reason beyond him, Goblin Slayer found a chair to sit in. It was too small for him, but anything would do to take the weight off of his feet. "I'm here to hunt goblins. I've heard that a large goblin force is manifesting in Equestria, and it's my job to deal with them before they pose too much of a threat."

"Goblins?" the alicorn repeated with some measure of incredulity. "I've only ever read about them. Surely you're not telling me that they're here?"

"Goblins move fast. Multiply faster." A grunt as he stretched out in his armour, remembering what any semblance of respite felt like. "I need maps of the surrounding area. A place to rest. Skilled magic users, if you know any."

"I'm one of the strongest magicians in Equestria," Purple Alicorn confidently asserted, a smile on her muzzle. "I don't know much about goblins, but if they're really as big of an issue as you're saying, I'd be happy to help however I can. Hopefully, they'll listen to reason. How do you know that they're here?"

"My source is rarely mistaken. I trust her word." Goblin Slayer moved to put his bag on the floor, opening it and removing an almost empty flask of water. He brought it to his lips with a tremulous hand, taking a small sip. "Tell me about mountains and caves in the region. Cavernous areas and ruins are popular sites for goblins."

Twilight stood, motioning to the door. "Come with me. We have a large map in the castle, it shows Equestria and the surrounding regions."

They walked then, and Goblin Slayer silently remarked the symbol on Purple Alicorn's flank. He had no clue what the astrological significance of that star was, but found himself curious. Perhaps it was the mark of a priestess, or a sorcerer. When they finally came into another room, Goblin Slayer saw a large table, containing a multi-dimensional map of the surrounding area, as well as multiple thrones, one of which bore the same symbol as that on Purple Alicorn.

The thing Goblin Slayer didn't understand, however, is that her flank began to glow when they stepped inside. Not just that, but his scabbard too.

He watched silently, her excitedly, as the symbols of her mark and his scabbard floated silently through the air before settling around a nearby mountain, slowly circling it. "I'm not familiar with this magic. What does it mean?"

"It means the cutie map is sending us on a friendship quest!" Purple Alicorn announced, somewhere between ecstatic and surprised. "Oh wow, it's been a while since I've got to go on one of these, and I've never been with a human before!"

"This isn't something for you to get excited about." Goblin Slayer's tone was slow and measured. "This is our first destination, it seems." He looked Purple Alicorn over, sensing something was off, besides her whole demeanour. "Do you wear any kind of armour or enchanted clothing, trinkets?"

This caught her off guard, it seemed, as she tilted her head at him, brows furrowed. "Why would I? I'm not often attacked."

"You may want to invest in some soon. I'll go alone today, scout the place. Prepare yourself in the meantime."

"Nuh-uh!" Purple Alicorn shook her head, tail flicking. "If the cutie map says we both have to go, then we both have to go! Besides, I've got a lot of experience in solving friendship problems. You're going to need me!"

"This isn't a friendship problem," Goblin Slayer asserted, looking down at her. "You said you're a skilled magician. Are you able to hide scents? Cover tracks?"

"All that and more," Purple Alicorn smiled. "I can turn us invisible with a single spell!"

"Invisibility is problematic unless we're also able to see one another. If one of us is to become lost or otherwise incapacitated, we have no way of indicating to the other that we're all right, and non-verbal communication is shattered."

"...oh. When you put it like that, that makes a lot of sense."

"If you wish to accompany me, you need to be able to innovate. That, and you must be willing to do what is necessary. I'm here to do a job. It'll be accomplished with or without your participation."

"N-no, of course I want to help!" Purple Alicorn defended, almost pouting. "The cutie map said I should be there, and I couldn't just let you go alone not knowing if you'd be safe! Besides, I'm a princess of Equestria, I have a duty to protect my own ponies."

"Do as you wish," Goblin Slayer said, picking up his bag and reattaching it to his body. "I only hope you're able to defend yourself, should it come to it. Goblins are sadistic, and not in the business of diplomacy."

"Please don't think like that," Purple Alicorn said, and Goblin Slayer instantly knew that it was time to turn off. "I've handled some problems that on the surface seemed impossible to resolve peacefully through the help of me and my friends. This castle and my title as Princess of Friendship are testament to the fact that friendship can always find a way. I promise that we can go and resolve this all peacefully!"

Goblin Slayer turned back to look at her. She really was lovely. "As long as you think that way, you'll die slowly and painfully. Don't slow me down, and act if your life is in danger."

Purple Alicorn seemed to shudder a little at his words, but eventually nodded. The moment he saw this, Goblin Slayer went to leave the way he came. "Wait, hold on, you're going now?!"

"They may not have settled yet. I need to scout them out before the trail goes cold."

"H-hold on, I'm coming with you!"

Purple Alicorn seemed to have spirit, an almost infectious kind. She might live yet.

Author's Note

We'll call this a pilot chapter. If enough people are a fan of it and want to see it continue, you'll definitely see updates! Please let me know what you think.