I should be brave. I know I should be brave. I've seen it more times than most ponies will ever know. But seeing it on my own for the first time only showed me how unprepared I was. It's so different this way. So frightening. And there's nopony to tell me what to do, how to feel. I don't trust my mind to guide me, betray me. It wanders to horrible places.

I peered into oblivion yesterday.

And I blinked.

I have the rest of my life to fix this. It starts today.

A stream-of-consciousness narrative. This narrative mode is very different from conventional 1st and 3rd person narrative modes and may appear oddly written or be difficult to read. I have posted an explanation of this story and the personal struggles that led to its creation here.