Rainbow Dash whooped and hollered as she rode Gladys across the waves. It had been two weeks since she lost her surfboard to Zephyr Breeze’s carelessness, but ever since she ‘borrowed’ Zephyr’s board, surfing had never been better.
After an impressive jump off the crest of a wave, Dash splashed back into the water and rode the surf back to shore, where she unstrapped her ankle and jumped off her board. There, stretching her legs by her lifeguard tower was Applejack, ready to greet her friend.
“All done surfin’ out there?” Applejack asked.
“For now. With this baby, I can’t wait to hit the heavies again,” Dash said, brandishing her board.
“Still prefer doin’ it with Gladys, do ya?” Applejack giggled.
“Aw, cram it, AJ,” Dash grumbled. “It’s only for the rest of today. The guys at the board shop told me my board will be ready to pick up tomorrow.”
“Now, ain’t that somethin’. Most folks don’t have to wait two weeks to get a board repaired. Why’s yers takin’ so long?”
“No reason. I just didn’t take mine in right away. After all, it gave me more time to spend with Gladys. And you can keep your comments to yourself,” Dash said.
“I weren’t gonna say nothing,” Applejack said innocently. “But, don’t ya think Zephyr’s gonna want his board back soon?”
“He can get it back when I get mine back. Simple as that,” Dash answered.
“Alright. ‘Cause ya know he’s just gonna find somethin’ else stupid to do if ya don’t.”
“Well, stupid is as stupid does,” Dash said, before she put her board under her arm and walked away, “I’m going to go hang with the others. Later.”
“I’ll catch ya up,” Applejack said. She continued to stretch, arching her back to the side, where she heard a quiet--
*crick*
“Oooooohhh!! Applesauce…” Applejack groaned, as she suddenly found she couldn’t move her back any other direction.
Rarity and Twilight lounged in their beach chairs, while Pinkie Pie was busily mounding up sand for a sandcastle.
“Let’s see…” Pinkie said, as she turned a discerning eye to her mound of dirt.
Her hands busily whirred about, and made a misshapen structure that crumbled promptly.
Pinkie shook her head, and tried again.
Her hands whorled about through the sand again, only to create another misshapen structure that practically melted into a puddle.
Pinkie growled quietly and tried again.
This was it, she knew. She focused intently on her busywork, and finally produced a grand replica of a triple-masted galleon. Until the front of the galleon’s hull broke off, the ship tilted upward, and sank into the sand like a boat sinking in water.
“Aw, crud!” Pinkie pouted, as she sat back in the sand. “Girls, when’s Fluttershy getting here? She’s probably more fun than this stupid sand.”
“She said she was busy. I’m sure she’ll be here soon, Pinkie,” Twilight said, not even turning to face her friend as she took in the sun.
“Well, whatever she’s doing, I hope she can at least get it to stay up,” Pinkie said, forming a mound with her sand next to her, which ended up popping like a balloon, and covering her with dirt.
“Hey girls!” came a call from the distance. Rainbow Dash was returning from Applejack’s lifeguard tower, and rejoined her friends.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash. The surfing was well, I trust?” Rarity said.
“You know it,” Dash said, placing her board on the ground and sitting on the empty chair next to the others.
“Is this new board still better than your old one, or are you tired of it yet?” Twilight wondered.
“Not even. If Zephyr would let me, I’d buy this thing from him,” Dash said.
“Now, why don’t you just find out where he got his board and buy one yourself?” Rarity said.
“Because, Rarity, that would mean Rainbow Dash would have two surfboards to handle and maintain,” Twilight said, as she blindly reached her hand up, and pulled the release on her beach umbrella to shade herself. “Besides, Dash’s board is almost finished at the repair shop.”
“Yeah. But, every good surfer has a spare board around. I can just keep my old one as a spare, and use a board like this as my new stick,” Dash answered.
“Your what?” Rarity wondered.
Dash groaned and rolled her eyes. “You know. Stick. Deck. Gun. All words for a board,” she explained.
“I see,” was all Rarity said.
Up in the parking lot, Fluttershy finally drove in. Next to her in the passenger seat was her brother, Zephyr.
“Now, Zephyr, you remember what we agreed to, don’t you?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah. No surfing. I’ll just make sandcastles on the beach with you,” Zephyr Breeze answered.
“Okay. And did you remember--”
“Safety goggles. Got it,” Zephyr said, as he held up two pairs of goggles for him and his sister.
“Because you don’t want sand in your eyes. Remember: sand in your eyes makes boys cry,” Fluttershy gently admonished.
“So do mothers serving the wrong kind of chocolate milk,” Zephyr said, referring to an incident from when they were children.
“But...I liked milk chocolate, but mom only made dark chocolate for us both,” Fluttershy defended. She quickly departed the car and made her way to the beach with her brother.
The siblings walked to the beach, and saw where the others were staying. Twilight was the first to notice them coming.
“There’s Fluttershy now. Hi, Fluttershy,” Twilight said, as she waved to her friend.
“Oh no…” Dash muttered to herself.
“Hey there, Dashie. How’s my girl been?,” Zephyr said.
Dash’s stomach turned, remembering the innuendo Zephyr had used for her board weeks before. Quickly, she stood up to confront him.
“Listen: my friends call me Dashie. Jerks that ruin my board, (on purpose) call me Rainbow Dash. Got it,” Dash said.
“Got it,” Zephyr said, though his smile made Dash think he didn’t care about what she told him.
Fluttershy could sense tension between her friend and her brother. Quickly, she intervened to diffuse the situation.
“Um...Zephyr, why don’t we go feed the sea anemones now?” Fluttershy said.
“In a second, sis. I have something I want to do here first. It’ll only be a second, so you go ahead, and I’ll catch up,” Zephyr answered.
“Oh. Alright,” Fluttershy answered.
She hesitantly left, half trusting her brother, but half hoping he wouldn’t do anything rash.
Zephyr simply stayed where he was, without doing anything. Something that greatly irritated Dash.
“So? Go do what you what you wanted to do,” Dash said, impatiently.
“I’ll be honest: I just wanted my sister away, so I could be alone with you,” Zephyr said.
The other girls all groaned loudly.
“I might have known,” Rarity said. She turned toward the direction Fluttershy left, and called after her. “Fluttershy!”
“Hold on! It’s not like that!” Zephyr quickly interjected. “You see, I wanted to make up to Rainbow Dash what I did the last time I was here. You know, try and patch things up. Also, I’d like my board back.”
“Forget it. I’m not interested. You can have your board back when mine’s out of the shop,” Dash answered.
“Dash, don’t you remember what we talked about the last time I was here?” Zephyr asked.
“What are you talking about? We didn’t have any talk the last time you were here,” Dash said.
“Sure we did. In the parking lot. Just before I let you borrow my board.”
It occurred to Dash what Zephyr was hinting toward, and snapped her to attention. Something that was noticed by her friends.
“You and him had a talk in the parking lot? What about?” Pinkie wondered.
“Uh, nothing,” Dash answered, too quickly to be believable. If any of them found out that she had beaten the ever-loving snot out of Zephyr, they would never speak to her again. “Listen, I have to go talk to Applejack about something. Can you wait here with the others?”
“Sure,” Zephyr answered.
Quick as she could Dash ran away from Zephyr Breeze, and felt as if the air grew lighter the further she got from him. When she reached Applejack’s lifeguard tower, she found her friend was still stuck in the same stretch as when she left her.
“Applejack!” Dash called.
“‘Bout time someone came. Ya mind helpin’ me outta this?” Applejack said.
“Applejack, I need to talk to you.”
“Mighty fine, that. Can ya talk while ya gimme a hand?”
“Alright. Fine.”
Dash took Applejack’s nearest hand, and started pulling, while Applejack firmly planted her feet in the sand.
“So, what’s up, sugarcube?” Applejack wondered.
“Zephyr’s back,” was all Dash answered, as she pulled Applejack’s arm by her wrist.
“That guy again? Aw, nuts...He ain’t gonna go breakin’ anyone else’s boards, is he? Hey!”
Dash facilitated the effort back placing the sole of her foot on Applejack’s hips as she pulled her friend’s wrist.
“No. It’s worse than that. He wants to take me out,” Dash answered.
“Then just say no. It ain’t like he’s got any way to force ya to go on a date with him. What the--”
Dash laid Applejack down in the sand, took hold of her wrist and her ankle, and used both soles to push on her friend’s hips.
“That’s where you’re wrong, AJ. He’s kinda...got something on me,” Dash strained.
“Well--What is--it!?” Applejack said, between getting pushed by Dash’s feet.
“Like I’d tell you. You can’t keep--any secret!” Dash answered.
Finally, with a loud pop, Applejack’s back cracked back into place.
“Dang…!” Applejack said, as she and Dash stood up from the sand. “Well, in that case: the only advice I can offer ya is to go out with him anyway.”
“What!? No! Uh-uh! Not happening!” Dash said.
“Well, in that case: whatever he’s got on ya’s gonna spill out in the open. Unless ya wanna tell me now.”
Dash’s gut clenched. That was the last thing that she wanted to happen. If she was to keep her friends, she was simply going to have to suck it up and do the unthinkable: go on a date with Zephyr Breeze.
“Alright...I’ll go with the creep…” Dash said, through clenched teeth.
“We’ll all be rootin’ for ya, sugarcube,” Applejack said, before she returned to completing her stretches. With another crack, she found herself stuck in another stretch. “AW...Dash? D’ya mind?”
“Yes. Yes I do,” Dash said, before she turned around to return to Zephyr, leaving Applejack to hang by her knees on the side of her lifeguard tower to unstuck herself.
When Dash returned to the others, Zephyr was down in the sand with Pinkie. He had taken over building her sandcastles for her, but was failing just as spectacularly.
“Okay. I’m in,” Dash said, when she arrived.
Zephyr’s mound of sand crumbled when he heard those words, and he stood up to face Dash.
“You mean--” he began.
“Yes,” Dash interrupted. “But, on the condition that it’s just this once, and we won’t go out again after I get my board back.”
“Deal. So,” Zephyr said, as he hugged his own board, which was leaning against an umbrella. “How about you and me go for a ride on Gladys.
Dash’s stomach lurched at the idea of being in such close proximity with Zephyr. A sentiment which was shared with the others.
“Nononono! Let’s do that last! You know, best for last kind of deal,” Dash said. In actuality, she figured that it would allow her time to think of a way to get out of the date.
“Alright. I can dig it,” Zephyr said. “How about we get some ice cream first? Like what we did last time.”
Dash’s skin crawled when she felt Zephyr’s arm around her, and was led to the nearby concessions on the boardwalk.
“There goes the bravest girl on the beach,” Twilight said to nobody in particular. “Who knows if she’ll survive this ordeal.”
“Should we start making funeral arrangements?” Pinkie wondered.
Twilight simply shook her head, though she wasn’t sure whether or not they’d be called for.
Even a trip to get ice cream with Zephyr was painful. Zephyr ordered a cone for the both of them. And it wasn’t even a flavor that Dash liked. Worst of all, she had to pay for them both, since Zephyr seemed to have conveniently forgot his wallet.
“Thanks for the ice cream.” Zephyr said.
“Yeah. I hope it was worth my money,” Dash muttered.
Zephyr dug right into his cone, but noticed Dash was only staring at her’s.
“Aren’t you going to eat your ice cream?” he asked.
Dash stared pensively at the cone in her hand, not wanting the putrid flavor to reach her tongue under any circumstances. Something would have to be done about that, and fast.
“Hey, is that Applejack eating a popsicle?” Dash said, as she looked off into the distance.
“Where!?” Zephyr said excitedly, as he looked to where Dash indicated.
As soon as his head was turned, Dash whipped the cone over her shoulder, unknowingly throwing it toward two young boys.
“Man, I wish we had some money for some ice cream,” one boy said.
Not sooner did he finish speaking, did a cone full of ice cream land in his open hand.
“Oliver! You’ve got genie powers, or something!” the other boy said.
The first boy took a lick of the cone and winced.
“Ugh!! Coffee!? Who’s having that past noon!?” the first boy said, before whipping the cone over his shoulder, and unknowingly letting another hapless soul catch it.
Dash breathed a sigh of relief, having narrowly avoided the foul ice cream.
Zephyr looked back, somewhat perplexed.
“Weird. I don’t see Applejack out there,” he said.
“I guess she just ate her popsicle and left. Oh, and look at that. My ice cream’s all gone. I guess that means the date’s over, right?” Dash said.
“Not just yet. There’s still some stuff I want to do,” Zephyr said, as he put his arm around Dash’s waist.
Dash nearly bit her lip to keep from screaming. Whatever he wanted to do, she wished that she had something sharp to hold between herself and Zephyr’s arm in that moment.
“How about that photo booth over there? You and me could immortalize our date forever,”
“I’d rather euthanize it…” Dash muttered.
“What’s that?”
“I said that photobooths cost money. And, look. Aw, darn. I’m all out of cash,” Dash said, surreptitiously hiding her money, as she presented an empty wallet to Zephyr.
“That’s alright. I found some quarters in an ashtray over there.”
What Zephyr was doing rooting through an ashtray, Dash didn’t want to know. Now, with that new revelation, she felt her stomach clench again as she looked over to the small, dark space she would soon be sharing with him in a moment.
“Alright. You just get in there. I have to make a call first,” Dash said.
She quickly ran over to the nearby chain link fence, and slammed her entire front against it. There, only a mere fifty feet away were friends, blissfully enjoying their time on the beach. Dash produced her phone from her pocket, and dialed a number as fast as she could.
Down on the beach, Twilight’s phone started ringing. She looked at the screen, and saw it was Rainbow Dash calling her. She answered the call.
“Dash?” she asked.
“Twilight, you gotta help me! You! Rarity! Anyone! I need help!” Dash said.
“Dash, slow down. What’s happening right now?”
“He wants me to go to a photobooth with him!”
“A what?”
“A photobooth!” Dash growled, “You put in fifty cents, and you get four pictures! A small, dark, intimate space where dating couples…*urk*...put their hands on each other…”
Twilight sighed. This was somewhat beyond her expertise. Instead, she decided to pass it along to someone a bit more knowledgeable in the dating area.
“Okay. I’m going to put you on with Rarity. She’ll know what to do,” Twilight said.
“No! No, wait!” Dash protested, before she watched Twilight explain the situation, then pass the phone along.
“Hello, Rainbow, darling. Having a little bad luck with the date?” Rarity said.
“Yes! That’s why I’m calling!” Dash said.
“Well, Twilight’s already explained everything to me. Rainbow Dash, if there’s any advice I can offer you, it’s to suggest something better to do,” Rarity answered.
“Like what? Surfing? You know he already wants to share a board with me! Forget that! What other ways are there to get out of this?”
“Hm…” Rarity said, as she thought over what could be done. “Have you tried saying you’re scared of the dark?”
“Rarity, that’s just stupid!” Dash said.
“Sorry. But, that’s all I can offer, since I have never been on a date nearly this terrible. I’m afraid you’ll just have to improvise, darling,” Rarity said.
“Nononono! Rarity, don’t you hang up on me!”
Rarity hung up on Dash.
“I swear, I’m going to haunt you when I die from embarrassment!” Dash shouted from the chain link fence.
From where she was sitting, Rarity started looking around for the source of the voice that was cursing her. Though she didn’t find the source, an ice cream cone mysteriously landed in her open hand, as if it were thrown from somewhere.
“Coffee ice cream?” Rarity said, smelling the cone. “I won’t even have it iced!”
Rarity threw the cone away, only for some other hapless soul to grab it.
Back up at the sidewalk, things were taking a turn for the worse.
“You all ready, Dash?” Zephyr asked, as he put his phone down, after taking at least a hundred pictures of Rainbow Dash’s butt.
“Uh…” Dash said, before she turned around. Her mind raced for an idea that would get her out of the situation. “I can’t take a picture like this! I haven’t shampooed yet!” Dash said. “Ugh! I’m starting to sound like Rarity…” she thought.
Dash yelped internally when she felt Zephyr take her hand.
“Trust me. You look just fine for a photoshoot,” Zephyr said.
This was it. The dark interior of the photobooth grew closer, and Dash was led inside first. Feeling like a prisoner on her way to execution, Dash’s chest clutched entirely when Zephyr sat down next to her. Now, she was strapped in, and the quarters in the slot were like the switch being thrown.
Outside the photobooth, anyone who was watching would have thought there was a war going on inside of it.
“Hey! You stay on your side of the seat, buddy!” Dash said.
There was a bright flash.
“No! No! Whatever you’re allergic to: I ate it today!” Dash said.
There was another flash.
“Put that hand down, or lose it!”
There was another flash.
“That’s it! You crossed the line!”
There was an incredible *WHAM* sound inside the booth, and Zephyr went flying out.
Dash stepped out of the booth, and the photos all printed. The first showed Zephyr trying to sit on Dash’s lap, only for Dash to pinch his waist hard. One would think she almost had his kidney in her grip.
The next showed Zephyr with his face intimately close to Dash’s. Only, Dash had thrusted the edge of her hand inside his mouth.
The next photo was a bit of an oddity. Zephyr’s face was twisted in pain, while his and Dash’s hands were both out of frame.
Finally, the last photo showed Dash punting Zephyr out of the photobooth like a football across a field.
Huffing loudly, Dash took the photos that were printed, and threw them on top of the prostate Zephyr.
“Here! Keep them to remind yourself what happens when you don’t keep your hands to yourself!” Dash said.
Zephyr laid on the ground, finding this kick Dash gave him somehow less appealing than the last one. Not that he enjoyed being kicked, that is he somewhat enjoyed the idea of a girl who was flexible enough to kick him like that in such a small space.
“That’s it. I’m calling it off now. This date’s over. You had your ice cream, you had your pictures to remember it. That’s that. You can have your surfboard back now,” Dash said.
Quick as she could, Rainbow Dash returned to the beach, and collected her clothes, then went to one of the changing rooms. Something which Zephyr noticed, and decided to take a few last minute pictures to remember the day by.
Dash reached the changing room, and looked left and right for any perverse peepers. When the coast looked clear, she quickly ran inside the changing room and locked the door.
Zephyr took his chance, and set up the camera on his phone. He crept over to the changing room, and crouched by the door with his phone in hand. Until he felt someone grab his ear, and pull him to his feet.
“Sightseein’, huh?” Applejack asked, as she held Zephyr’s ear in a vice grip.
“Uh…” Zephyr answered.
“Phone. Now,” Applejack ordered, her free hand outstretched.
Reluctantly, Zephyr gave up his phone to Applejack, who started scrolling through the pictures.
“Looks like someone’s been on safari,” Applejack said, showing the pictures that Zephyr had been taking of Dash. “Ya know, most folks get banned from the beach fer stunts like this.”
“Do I get a pass for doing it as a labor of love--Aaahoww!” Zephyr said, before Applejack tightened her grip on his ear.
“Alright, that’s it!” Dash said, from inside the changing room. The door swung open, revealing Dash, who hadn’t even begun to change her clothes. “You know how hard it is to change when you know people are outside!?”
“Bet it’s worse when ya got perverts like this skulkin’ ‘round yer door,” Applejack said, presenting Zephyr.
Dash was beyond frustrated at this point. She was all ready to burst just the same as she had done weeks before.
“You--Rgh! You sick freak!!” Dash said.
“That ain’t the half of it. Nature boy here’s been takin’ a few unsavory pictures of ya when ya weren’t lookin’,” Applejack explained, showing the phone to her friend.
“I think most girls would have taken it as a compliment,” Zephyr said.
Dash was completely silent. She was having the worst date in her life so far, and was close to boiling over.
“First, you broke my board,” Dash said, eerily calm, like a gentle breeze before a storm. “Then, you blackmail me. Then, you push me into that photobooth with you. And then you go and pull a stupid stunt like this!!! At this point, I don’t even care if I lose Fluttershy! I don’t want you in my life ever again! I don’t want to see your face! I don’t want your stupid board! And I especially don’t want your coffee ice cream!!!”
As if on cue, the cone full of coffee ice cream landed back into her hand.
That was the last straw. Dash’s eyes shot red, and her mouth started to bleed from how hard she clenched her teeth. With a warrior shout, Applejack and Zephyr were both blown backwards.
Zephyr was the first on his feet, and ran away as fast as he could to escape from Rainbow Dash.
Down on the beach, Fluttershy had just returned to her friends, after she had unsuccessfully searched for her brother.
“Um, excuse me. Have any of you seen Zephyr around?” she wondered.
As soon as she asked her question, two familiar blurs ran past her. And she knew that no good was to come of it.
“Wait! Zephyr! Rainbow Dash! Stop!” she called out to them.
“Just let them work it out, Fluttershy,” Twilight sighed.
“It’s the only way dummies like him learn,” Pinkie added, who had finally gotten a sandcastle to stay up.
Fluttershy wanted desperately to help her brother, but knew that her friends were right. Reluctantly, she knelt down in the sand with Pinkie Pie, but kept her eyes on Dash and Zephyr, just as they ran into the neighboring forest.
Deep in the woods, a group of hikers enjoying a nature walk were happily plodding along.
One of the hikers took out a pair of binoculars out of her backpack, and looked up in one of the trees to get in some birdwatching. Instead of a bird, she found a rather peculiar sight.
There, high in the branches was a blonde-haired boy, clad in swimming trunks, and a surfboard broken over his head. His eyes were stuck open in a glassy daze. At least, one was. The other one was swollen shut. He moaned quietly, as he slowly bleed from his nose, ears and groin.
“There’s a surfer in that tree!” the hiker said.
“Naw, couldn’t be. That’s just an urban legend,” said one of her friends, before leading her and the others away.