Author's Note
Okay guys, please take the time to read this. This story is extremely personal to me. I personally have struggled with Paranoid Schizophrenia for the past two years, and this disease destroys you from the inside out. I wanted to capture what life with this illness is like. The rest of the plot, well that just sorta happened.
I own nothing except the OC's.
GET READY FOR CRAZY! 
WARNING: DO NOT READ ON A FULL STOMACH.
You have been warned.
ENJOY! 
Hush
Rainbow Dash buzzed through the sky, clearing clouds away on an otherwise perfect day in Ponyville. She hummed to herself as the last of the clouds were gone, and her work for the day was done. Deciding she’d earned a little relaxation, she flew into a nearby tree and easily fell asleep.
In her dream things were dark. It was sunset, and she was awake, but she couldn’t move. Voices, hushed and quiet were whispering, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Shadows hovered at the edge of her vision, darkening her view, but no matter how she tried to look, she couldn’t see a face. Then, the sky turned blood red, and ruby eyes of ponies in cloaks were staring at her, grinning menacingly at her. One pulled out a long, bone handled knife, and brought it down in a shining arc. But before she could scream or call for help, a ball gag was placed in her mouth. The blade pierced her skin, and made a ribbon of red appear on her body. The back of the bloodied knife was then pressed to her cheek and slid down her face. The metal was cool against her fur. Just as it reached her cheek, the blade suddenly turned and sliced her cheek. She screamed, but it was muffled. The knife was thrust upward and a menacing voice whispered in her ear,
“Looks like the clouds have come in to block the rainbow.”
The knife came down in a straight shot at her throat. She screamed and squirmed as loud and hard as she could, but it was no good. Just before the knife could make impact, she woke up.
She shot up in her tree branch, and gasped for air. Her heart was beating like a jackhammer in her chest, but she quickly reassured herself that it was only a dream. When she regained her bearings, she looked down to see a small colt playing near the tree she was in. He was kicking a ball around, but looked alone. She looked around and saw other ponies passing the poor kid by, not paying him any mind, so she flew down to him.
“Hey kid. Whatcha doing?”
“Playing ball. Wanna play?”
“Yeah, sure.”
They began kicking the ball around.
“So, where are your friends, kid?”
“I don’t have any. Most ponies act like I’m not even here.”
“Well, you’ve got one now.”
“Really?” Asked the dark brown colt with a black, spiked mane.
“You bet. What’s your name?”
“Comet Crush.”
“Awesome name.”
“Takes one to know one, Rainbow Dash.”
“How did you know?”
“Are you kidding? Everypony knows who you are!”
Rainbow’s chest puffed with pride. “I am pretty awesome.”
“Totally!” He said. He looked over at the sky and saw that it was almost sunset. “Oh geez. I gotta get home. My mom gets mad if I’m out after sunset. It was awesome meeting you, Rainbow Dash! See you around!” He called, waving goodbye.
“See ya later!” She called back, waving too. She smiled to herself. That kid was going places. It was just then that Rarity walked up behind her.
“Rainbow Dash, darling, whoever were you talking to?”
“A colt. His name is Comet Crush. He just went home to his mom.”
Rarity looked in that direction and squinted. “What are you talking about? There’s nopony there.”
“What are you talking about? He was-“ She stopped short when she saw no one there.
“Perhaps you’ve been out in the sun a bit too long, darling. You do look a bit peaked.”
Rainbow chuckled. “Yeah, guess I have been working a little too much lately.”
“You should go home and get some rest.”
Rainbow nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Ta ta!”
Rainbow waved at her friend and flew home. Just as she shut the door, a shadow crossed the room, and she was on high alert.
“Who’s there?! Show yourself!”
“Rainbow.” A voice whispered.
“Who are you?!” She asked.
“Shhh.” The voice hushed her. “Be still. I am not here to harm you.”
“I’m not going to ask again. Who. Are. You?”
“My name is Crystal Shard.”
“Why are you here?”
“I am here to guard you.”
“Guard me? I’m the fastest and bravest flier in Equestria. I don’t need anypony to guard me. Especially one who won’t show their face.”
“You may not feel that way soon.”
“Stay out of my house!” She said.
“As you wish. But should you need me, You need only call me.” She said.
“Whatever.”
Then, silence.
She looked around the room, but nopony was there. A prickly feeling came up her spine, but she ignored it and went to lay down.
Ah Rainbow Dash, you have got to quit talking to yourself. She thought.
She laid down for an hour or so, before making herself a late dinner. Then, sleepy and replete, she went to bed early.
That night, the nightmare came again, with the same hushed voices, bloody sky, bonds, and cloaked figures. But now she could count them. There were four of them. One unicorn, one pegasi, and two earth ponies. She knew this only by the outline of the horn and the occasional fluttering sound of wings brushing against a cape. The earth pony, a tiny thing, didn’t move at all. It (For she couldn’t tell the gender as of yet) simply stayed back and watched. The torture began, starting with getting her feathers plucked. But it wasn’t just a few feathers. It was all of them. They plucked and plucked until there was nothing left but the deformity that had once been her wings. They looked like skinny, bony, slightly bent poles sticking out of her back. Then, one of the ponies grabbed a butcher knife. With a mighty chop, they severed one of her wings off completely, and she howled in agony.
“Please,” She sobbed. “Why are you doing this to me?”
One of the ponies came over to her and whispered into her ear.
“First came Dr. Brawny Hooves
His heart was filled with dread
They took him out into the back
And smashed a rock into his head
Then came Mrs. Crystal Shard
A gentler soul than most
They killed her quietly in her home
That is now haunted by her ghost
The next was Flaming Arrow
He loved to fly all day
They severed off both of his wings
So he couldn’t fly away
The last was little Comet Crush
Who trembled ‘neath his bed
He screamed and cried but no one heard
When they found him he was dead
The final victim for this night
Who will join all of them too
The fastest in Equestria
Miss Dash we’ve chosen you.”
“Chosen me? Chosen me for what?” She asked, struggling against her bindings.
“You’ll soon see.” They chorused together. Two of the voices sounded familiar to her, plucked a string and stirred a memory, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember who they belonged to.
The pain was searing, intense. Something she could have never imagined that took her breath away. She gasped, begged, and pleaded to be let go. But it was no good. The butcher’s knife rose up again, and she shrieked as loud as she could when her other wing was severed. The pain was so great that she couldn’t take it anymore, and mercifully woke up.
She bolted up in bed, coated in a thin sheen of sweat. She twitched her wings, and felt a rush of relief that they were still there. She looked around, feeling like somepony was watching her, but none were there. It was just after that that she realized hot sweat wasn’t the only thing she was feeling. There was something cold and clammy near her waist. She lifted her sheets and saw a large wet patch on her bed. Her cheeks reddened in shame. The smell of urine wafted into her nostrils and made her cringe.
I… wet the bed? But I haven’t done that since I was four! She thought. She could feel her heart rate beginning to increase again. But she quickly fought it back. Okay, calm down Rainbow Dash. It was just a fluke. There’s no way this will happen again. It was a pretty scary nightmare after all.
But even as she thought the words, the nightmare was beginning to fade, like an old photograph worn away with age. She gathered up her sheets and put them in the laundry, and then cleaned herself up. When she settled back into bed a half an hour later with some brand new sheets, She felt her fear kickstarting, but tamped it down. It was just a dream. It couldn’t hurt her. She settled back into sleep, hopeful that the nightmare would go away.
But it didn’t. It came once again with a different method of torment. This time they used a knife and skinned her alive. When she’d looked down at herself just before she’d passed out, there had been not one lick of fur on her. All there was was red.
The next morning her eyes snapped open, and she looked around fretfully before seeing the sun streaming in through her window. She was about to throw the blankets off of herself when she realized that she had been suckling her hoof in her sleep. She groaned.
“What am I, four?!” She said, and took it out. Still, there was some small part of her that didn’t want to stop. There was something instinctively comforting about the action, but she ignored it, forced it out of her mind, and went on with her day.
She moved in clouds to cover the sky in a dreary gray day. A black pegasus with a white mane and tail helped her.
“Haven’t seen you around Ponyville before.” She commented.
“Oh yeah. I just transferred here from Cloudsdale.”
“Well, welcome to the team. I’m Rainbow Dash.” She said confidently.
“Name’s Flaming Arrow.” He said. The name sounded so familiar to her, but she just Couldn’t place it.
“Nice to meet you.” She said, shaking his hoof.
“Great to meet you too. You’re a legend in Cloudsdale. Nopony has ever pulled off a sonic rainbow before.”
Rainbow smiled. “It was pretty awesome.”
“Totally awesome.” He said, and put the last of the clouds in place.
“Looks great.” She commented.
“Thanks.” He said.
“No problem.” She said.
“Well, I gotta get something to eat. See you around?”
“Sure.” She said. And he fluttered away.
“Uh… Rainbow Dash?” Said a timid voice. Rainbow turned to see Fluttershy standing below her. She flew down to her.
“Hey Fluttershy. What’s up?” She asked.
“Um… Who were you talking to?” She asked.
“Flaming Arrow. He was helping me with the weather today.”
“Rainbow Dash… there’s no pony there.”
She looked over to see that Fluttershy was right. What is going on with me? She wondered.
“Right… Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night. Must be seeing things.” She said.
“Maybe you should see a doctor. Seeing things isn’t normal, even with little sleep.” She pointed out.
Rainbow considered this. “Maybe you’re right.” She said.
“I’d be happy to come with you if you like.” Fluttershy offered.
“Thanks, Fluttershy, but I think I’d better do this on my own.” Rainbow said.
“Well, okay. But if you need me, you know where to find me.”
“I know.”
With that, Rainbow Dash took off for the hospital.
She got there in a few minutes and sat down in an uncomfortable wooden chair. There was a doctor in the lobby who noticed her.
“Can I help you, Miss?”
“Yes. Can we talk somewhere alone?” She asked.
“Certainly.”
She followed him to an exam room. She hopped up onto the exam table as he shut the door.
“Now, how may I help you, miss…?”
“Dash. Rainbow Dash.” She said.
He nodded. “Rainbow Dash. How may I help you?” She asked.
“Well, I’ve been having some problems lately.”
“I see. What kind of problems?”
“I’ve been meeting new ponies lately, but when I tell other ponies who I was talking to, They say there’s no one there. And then there’s this voice who’s been talking to me, but I can’t see her. And I’ve been having these terrible nightmares…” She said.
“I see. May I ask you a few questions?” She nodded. “When have you seen the other ponies that others can’t see?”
“Late afternoon and morning.”
“And where have you seen them?”
“One was in the park, and the other was helping with the morning weather.”
“Both outside?” She nodded. “And the voice? Where did you hear it?”
“I was home. But my door was locked and I was alone.”
“And what time was this?”
“Early evening.”
“So none have come just at night or perhaps when you just woke from sleep?”
“No sir.”
The doctor frowned. “Have you been sick at all lately?”
“Nope. Healthy as a horse.”
The doctor made a few notes but looked perturbed. Rainbow swallowed. “What is it?”
“I have just one last question. Have you felt like you were being watched?”
“Yes.”
He sighed and took off his glasses. “Miss Dash, I don’t know how to tell you this…”
“What is it, doc?” She asked, swallowing nervously.
“Miss Dash, you have Paranoid Schizophrenia. Paranoid schizophrenia is the most common type of Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is defined as “a chronic mental disorder in which a person loses touch with reality.” That’s called psychosis in the medical field. Common symptoms for paranoid schizophrenia include auditory hallucinations hearing voices or sound effects and paranoid delusions like believing everyone is out to cause the sufferer harm.”
“So you’re saying it’s all in my head?” She asked.
He nodded. “This also may be the root cause of some of your nightmares.”
Rainbow flinched and looked down when he mentioned it. He quirked an eyebrow.
“Something troubling you?”
Rainbow looked up. “It’s just… um… well… When I had the nightmare I kind of… wet the bed.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
The doctor smiled. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Miss Dash. It’s quite common. I highly doubt it will happen again, but just in case you may want to consider acquiring some… protection.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
“Quite.” He nodded.
“I… I’ll think on it.” She said.
“Very well.” She turned to leave, but was stopped by the doctor. “Miss Dash, you should know that schizophrenia is a lifelong illness, and there is no cure, I’m afraid.”
She paused, then nodded. “Thank you, Doctor…?”
“Hooves. Brawny Hooves.” He replied. The sense that something wasn’t right nagged at her, but she dismissed it as her illness. The doctor passed her and disappeared into a crowd. And Rainbow Dash went back into Ponyville.
All day she mused over what to do, and only one thought came to mind. So later that day, she flew up to Cloudsdale, to the home of her parents. She knocked on the door, and her mother answered.
“Dashie! What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting you today.” She said, giving her a hug.
“Hey mom.” She said, and for a fleeting moment she felt peace.
“Come in, come in.” She said, ushering her daughter inside. Her mother walked into the kitchen. “Can I get you some tea? I just brewed a fresh pot.”
“Sure.” She said, numbly. Her mother poured the tea and set them down on the kitchen table. They both sat down. Windy Whistles took a sip. “So, do I have to ask or are you just going to tell me?”
“Huh?” She asked, looking up from her drink.
“Come on, Dashie. I’m your mother. I know when something is wrong.”
She sighed. “I guess I’m a little obvious, huh?” She asked.
“Not to everypony, but I’m your mother. I know you. So tell me what’s wrong.”
“I went to the doctor today.” She said, pausing. “And he diagnosed me with Paranoid Schizophrenia. So I can see and hear things that aren’t there. And I’ve been having such terrible nightmares. You know I hate saying this, but I’m afraid, mom. More afraid than I’ve ever been. Everything seems so real… I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore. I need your help.” She said.
Windy Whistles put a hoof over her daughter’s. “Anything you need.”
“Will you stay with me?” She asked, vulnerability shining in her eyes. Windy Whistles smiled at her.
“Of course I will.” She said. For the first time since her diagnosis, she genuinely smiled.
She hugged her mother fiercely. “I love you, mom.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Rainbow pulled back. “There’s uh, just one more little thing I need…”
That night, Rainbow Dash took Windy Whistles back to her home above Ponyville. She showed her mother to the guest room, and then prepared for bed. Reaching inside the bag her mother had retrieved earlier, she opened it to reveal a package of adult diapers. Shame filled her, but she decided not to acknowledge it. She put on the garment and then hopped into bed. Her mother tucked her in for the first time in years. Windy Whistles kissed her daughter goodnight, and then went to the living room and read.
Rainbow fell asleep quickly, but the nightmare returned. This time they were all chanting the same poem from before. The instrument of torture tonight was a steel poker, lit in a fireplace that was dragged across her underside. She squirmed and screamed, but the torture continued.
Windy Whistles had gone to bed when she heard the piercing shrieks of her daughter. She bolted over to her daughter’s room and shook her.
“Dashie, Dashie wake up. It’s okay, it was just a dream.” She said.
Rainbow jolted awake with a scream, panting heavily.
“Shhh. It was just a dream.”
“The fire… the burning fire…” She said, shaking.
“It’s alright, Rainbow Dash. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.” She soothed. Dashie buried her face in her mother’s coat and cried.
“But it was. It was real.” She sobbed.
“Shhhh.” Windy Whistles hushed her. When Rainbow had cried herself out, she realized she was wet and shifted uncomfortably. Windy Whistles knew the face she was making and gently patted her back. “Come on, Dashie. Let’s get you changed.”
Rainbow Dash blushed. “You don’t have to-“
Windy Whistles put a hoof to her mouth. “I’m your mother, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Now lay down.”
Rainbow Dash obeyed her mother and laid down. Her mother changed her in the blink of an eye, and stayed with her until she fell back to sleep for the night.
Slowly, she was falling apart. The voice and hallucinations consumed her, until she could no longer tell reality apart from her fantasy world. The nightmares continued, growing her agitation and hysteria until she was afraid to leave her home. They entered her day now, showing her flashes of torment and horror, but the cloaked figures never revealed their faces. Windy left her daughter for a short period one day to ask Bow Hothoof to take over Rainbow Dash’s weather duties in Ponyville. When she returned, Rainbow was curled up in a corner in her room, murmuring to herself. Windy tried to snap her out of it, But she was so far into her mind that she couldn’t hear her.
That day, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack came to see Rainbow. Windy Whistles answered the door.
“May I help you?”
“We’re here to see Rainbow Dash.” Twilight explained.
“I’m sorry, now’s not really a good time.” Said Windy Whistles.
“Please? We’re so worried about her.” Said Fluttershy.
“I don’t think you’ll get much out of her.”
“We’d like to try, ma’am.” Applejack said humbly.
WIndy Whistles sighed. “Come in. Please.”
The ponies all came in to see the house in a state of disarray. Books were littered everywhere, dishes were piled up in the sink, and there were a few cobwebs in the corners of the room.
“She’s in her room.” Said Windy.
Twilight nodded. She and her friends went up the stairs and Saw Rainbow Dash rocking back and forth in a corner, eye twitching.
“Rainbow Dash? What happened to you?” Asked Twilight.
Rainbow didn’t respond. She kept rocking, and then spoke.
“First came Dr. Brawny Hooves
His heart was filled with dread
They took him out into the back
And smashed a rock into his head
Then came Mrs. Crystal Shard
A gentler soul than most
They killed her quietly in her home
That is now haunted by her ghost
The next was Flaming Arrow
He loved to fly all day
They severed off both of his wings
So he couldn’t fly away
The last was little Comet Crush
Who trembled ‘neath his bed
He screamed and cried but no one heard
When they found him he was dead.”
The ponies stood there, completely shocked at what they had heard.
“She has schizophrenia.” Windy Whistles spoke from behind them. “She has nightmares every night. It hasn’t stopped for weeks.”
“Why didn’t she tell us?” Asked Pinkie, saddened.
“I don’t think she could bear to see your view of her changed.”
“But it wouldn’t have. She knows that.” Said Rarity.
“You must understand, this disease has made her lose the difference between Reality and Fantasy. She may used to have known that, but now…” Windy looked away, saddened.
Suddenly, Rainbow Screamed.
“NO! Stay away from me! Leave me alone!”
Windy raced past her daughter’s friends and made her way to Rainbow Dash.
“Dashie, honey, It’s okay. They’re not real. They can’t hurt you.” She reassured. She didn’t expect her daughter to say anything back to her, but Rainbow Dash looked up at her, and for a moment she looked lucid.
“They’re going to kill me, Mom.”
“Dashie, they’re not-“
“No, listen!” She said desperately. “I’ve already seen all of the different ways that they’re going to do it. It’s only a matter of time. So when it happens, you need to know. I love you, Mom. You’re the reason I am who I am. There is nopony else that I would ever want for a mom. You and dad were the best parents a kid could wish for. I want you to promise me that you’ll watch out for Scootaloo when I’m gone. Promise me that you’ll take care of her for me.” She begged.
Windy swallowed the lump in her throat. “I promise.”
“I had the best life and the best friends a pony could have.” She said, looking at her friends. “I love you. All of you. And I-“ She froze mid-sentence and looked up. They all waited. “Crystal Shard is calling me.” She began to flap her wings and fly through the house, then out the door. Windy Whistles picked up Rarity, and Fluttershy took Pinkie. Twilight took Applejack, and they flew out of the house to follow her. Rainbow flew as fast as she could to where Crystal Shard called her. It was in the Everfree Forest, near the cavern that housed the Tree Of Harmony.
“Crystal Shard?” She called. Then suddenly, she was ambushed. Four cloaked figures tied her to the ground with ropes so tightly that she couldn’t break free. And the unicorn from her dreams held her with magic to make sure she didn’t escape. She tried to scream but the moment she did a gag was placed in her mouth. Still, she shrieked, but it was muffled. Then, finally, the cloaked figures removed their hoods. There stood Dr. Brawny Hooves, Crystal Shard, Flaming Arrow, and Comet Crush. Her eyes widened, first in shock, then in fear.
“Surprised?” Asked the Doctor. Rainbow slowly nodded.
“I wouldn’t be.” Said Flaming Arrow.
“You see my dear,” Said Crystal Shard. “We only did this to you to get to you. Or more specifically, your body.”
Rainbow murmured something unintelligible but Crystal Shard caught the meaning. “Yes, we need your body. We are not hallucinations but lost souls. And we need to torment and kill somepony to survive.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened further, and she whimpered.
“Don’t be afraid. This won’t take long at all.” Said Dr. Brawny hooves. He unfurled a leather casing that held dozens of torture instruments. It was the final nightmare.
Rainbow Dash relaxed herself. This was it. This was the end. The doctor Pulled out a long knife and Rainbow saw her terrified reflection in it. He brought the knife down toward her hips, then, he slowly inserted the knife, being careful to miss any major organs as Rainbow cried out in anguish. He took it out, and then carefully slid it over her collarbone. Rainbow squirmed tearfully. While He worked with the knife, Flaming Arrow began plucking her feathers, one by one. The pain was minor compared to the knife. Then, Comet Crush came forward with the fire poker. He handed it to Crystal Shard. She took it and used the sharper end to slide over the parts of her wings that were stripped clean. When a full side was completely barren, She jabbed it in, and Rainbow screamed as a spray of blood shot forth from the appendage. Flaming Arrow then took it upon himself to grab a pair of bolt cutters, took them to the bleeding wing, and broke the bones inside, while she screamed as loud as she could.
The next wing was plucked and and was jabbed similarly, and then the bones were broken.
The pain was so intense, so searing, and so overwhelming that she passed out. She hoped that maybe the nightmare was over. But when she woke up, she was still tied down.
She felt a warm tear slide down her cheek. She just wanted to go home.
“Awake now, are we?” Said Crystal Shard with a menacing grin.
“Now then, let’s continue.” Said Brawny Hooves.
He slid the knife down her cheek, just like in the dream. She tried to turn her face away, but failed.
Just then, Twilight and her friends, along with Windy Whistles, arrived to see Rainbow Dash on the ground, seemingly of her own volition with her mouth wide open, like a roast pig with an apple stuck in it.
“Rainbow Dash, What is going on?” Twilight asked. Rainbow looked over to her with pleading eyes and a tear went down her cheek. She tried to speak, but the gag kept her from speaking, although they couldn’t see it.
“Hff Mmm” Was the best she could get out.
“Help you? With what? Just get up.”
“Mmm cmmmt!” She said, eyes pleading. Then, Her eyes looked up in horror at the knife. It came down swiftly, opening a gash in her cheek, and she screamed.
Twilight froze. She saw the gash appear seemingly out of nowhere, and in that moment she realized that Rainbow had been telling the truth. But who could be hurting her? Then, she remembered.
“Rainbow is being tormented by Soul Eaters!” She exclaimed.
“Soul what?”
“I’ll explain later. What were the names Rainbow was saying?” She asked.
“Crystal Shard, Dr. Brawny Hooves, Flaming Arrow, and Comet Crush.” Said Windy Whistles quickly.
Twilight concentrated as hard as she could, and magic came out of her horn. In a burst of light, the four faces were revealed to everypony, as were the bonds that held her. They all ran toward her, but it wasn’t enough. The knife plunged down and got her straight in the chest. Satisfied, they all put their instruments of torment away. But not before Twilight blasted them with her magic, immobilizing them. Applejack used her lasso to tie them up. Then Rarity used her sewing tape to tape their mouths shut. Fluttershy deployed her animals on them, letting the woodland creatures have their own vengance. Finally, Pinkie blasted them with her portable party cannon, while Windy Whistles flew above them and bucked each of them in the head.
The six of them then raced to Rainbow Dash, who was coughing and sputtering blood. They untied her and took out the ball gag. She smiled up at her friends and her mother.
“I… Love… You… All.” With a final cough and sputter, she went limp.
All of them were sobbing. Windy Whistles picked up the limp body of her daughter and held her, crying desperately.
She was brave and bold and brash, but that was the end of Rainbow Dash.
