Doctor Dick: The Hearthswarming Special

by RockstarRaccoon

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, Crossover, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1070

The ponies of South Manehattan Hospital celebrate the office Hearthswarming party while desperately trying to save patients. | Dirty / Insane parody of medical dramas and Christmas specials

[ Cloppy Comedy in a Hospital? ]

Cockswarming Eve is Here Once Again!

The holidays are coming to South Manehattan Hospital! Which means an Office Hearhswarming Party! Which means quite a few ponies will be having drunken sex in the broom closets! Best of all (worst for the prudish Doctor Geld), Doctor Dick has found a loophole in the no-sex order placed on him in the first story, and he intends to probe the depths of it, extending the rules to every throbbing extent they can reach to.

Will they be able to save the patients?

Will they be able to find the perfect gift?

Will Doctor Dick have sex with everypony before the stroke of midnight?

Maybe, maybe not, but they're sure as tartarus gonna try.

Stay tuned for...
SHOCKINGLY REALISTIC PONY MEDICINE!
DELIGHTFUL MUSICAL NUMBERS!
HEART-WRENCHING HEARTHSWARMING DRAMA!
DICKS, DICKS, DICKS, LOLIPOPS, DICKS, and more DICKS
AND BRAIN-MELTING IDIOCY

Everypony's favorite Doctor stars in...
DOCTOR DICK: THE COCKSWARMING SPECIAL!!!

You thought it was over? You thought I was done with just one perverted comedy about a pony hospital run by idiots? You thought I was writing something that people actually wanted, like more Displaced into Nothing or student six development or even another horror story?

THINK AGAIN.

This is a fucking franchise, and I'm gonna milk this shit until I run out of ideas. Get fucked! No, literally, I want you to go get fucked, and I want you to enjoy it immensely. I love you FiMFiction! <3

Published 2018-12-24 10:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-24 10:40:01 UTC

Opening: Cockswarming Eve is Here Once Agein

Winter had cum, leaving a generous smatter of white all over the city of Manehattan, coating everything from the rooftops to the ground, clinging to walls and windows, bringing with it the promise of good fun and happy endings! A generous helping of holiday cheer was in the air, so thick that you could choke on it! And the few ponies unfortunate enough to do so found themselves rushed to the capable hooves of the doctors and nurses of South Manehattan Hospital, and all through every ward, staff members bustled about preparing for the holiday, and of course, the Hearth’s Warming party that night!

All through the halls and rooms, the little ponies dressed in cute little medical outfits flitted and frollicked as they hung ropes of garland throughout the halls, wreaths with annoying bells on all the doors, and mistletoe in the most intimate of places, hoping they might be the ones caught under them. The sound of bells and instruments filled the air, as if an invisible orchestra had joined them, and everypony in the hospital began to sing! Sing! Sing!!

Ponies' moans all fill the night

Cock’sWarming Eve is here once again

Colts are hard and Mares are tight

Cock’sWarming Eve is here once again

Oh, what a sight

Our insides white

All for tonight

Cock’s Warming Eve is here once again!

In the front clinic of the hospital, Doctor Lolipop and Nurse Otherpony were mixing chemicals in vials, slowly creating a faint light, which grew brighter every moment, lighting up the faces of the patents waiting to have various embarrassing objects removed from even more embarrassing orifices.

Doctor Lolipop grinned as he whirled one in his hoof,

“Gotta make the test-tubes glow!”

Cockswarming Eve is here once again

Nurse otherpony cheered next to him,

“Then I’ll ride dick like a hoe!”

Cockswarming Eve is here once again

They leaned in against each other, their combined voices reaching a crescendo!

“Like porn stars blow

Put on a show

Distract us from snow!”

Cocks Warming Eve is here once again!

Out in the Hall, Nurse Melodrama and Badpun the Orderly put their flanks into mopping the floor. (Though not literally, as that would be unsanitary, even though Badpun is into that, no shaming) They twirled and danced through the hall, their hooves more caught up in dancing than in actual cleaning.

Orderly Badpun grinned through his grit teeth as he pushed his soggy mop across the floor,

“Gonna get showered in piss”

Ding-dongs, big-dong-dongs!

Nurse Melodrama sang back with his own smile as he dragged his mop with a foreleg, walking on his hindlegs,

“Gonna suck a lotta dicks!”

Ding-dongs, big-dong-dongs!

They Danced together, twirling and whirling with their mops in hooves,

“We're so gay-ly making merry

Homophobes should all be wary

As our horny voices carry”

Cock’s Warming Eve is here once again!

Doctor Cutty, recently promoted through the affirmative-action diversity program which the liberal media refers to as “working hard to finish your degree” (sad!) was down in the morgue, perhaps the coldest and most grim part of the hospital, but even in that body-cooler, the song and cheer had managed to make its way to her!

“Gotta get these corpses prepped!”

Cockswarming Eve is here once again

Her hooves had a spring in them as she flitted from corpse to corpse,

“Tags on hooves and funny hats!”

Cockswarming Eve is here once again

She jumped up on one of the empty gurneys, reaching out a hoof as it wheeled along beside the row of dead, yet festive, pony bodies,

“Their lives are done

Their families might come

Life’s short then it’s gone!”

Cockswarming Eve is here once a—

Back up in the main hall, the traditional dead pine tree had been erected, and was now standing tall, thick, and proud, in all its phallic glory! The lights which hung from the massive oblong object flickered and sparkled, along with the silvery tinsel which had been wrapped around it, hanging down like strands of cum around a penis that had just been spent, rods of lametta only adding to the seminal display. Ponies big and small (but all over 18, because I don’t crave the front page that badly) gathered ‘round to gaze up at it, inspired by its immense size and glory. All of them let forth a cheer, all of them driven to join into the mad song the writer had forced upon them...

Happy, Happy Cocks Warming Eve

The mailmare flew in, trying to deliver the heart ornament to the top of the tree, but was pulled off course by the poorly-centered weight of the metal sculture. Instead, she ended up overshooting, and in her attempt to compensate, dropped straight down onto the top of the tree, which speared right up her cunt and lodged itself deep inside her. Her hind-legs spread with a shudder as she found herself penetrated with more length and girth than any of the stallions she had been with could boast. She arched her back with lust, hooves gripping tight around the ornament as her own voice joined the chorus as a wail of pleasure...

Happy, happy Cocks Warming Eve

All around, the ponies were left in awe by the sight of a mare getting skewered right in her pony pussy by a massive tree, one which put every single stallion in the crowd to shame in its humongous measurements, and that especially includes you: your cock will never be compared to this massive fucking evergreen, so don’t even try. The little pegasus thrashed and shuddered atop the tree, jaw flapping by reflex as her cunt clamped down, and she was pushed over the edge, letting out a screaming moan, quickly letting out a load of her own cum rush down on the tree. The tree would probably have been smug as shit about it if trees could be smug and this one hadn’t been dead. Her nectar ran down through it, glistening along them as it trickled through the soft needles of the fir, running between them and dripping from the boughs. The whole crowd let out a cheer, completing the insane musical number in triumph as the mare had managed to take the fucking tree and actually get off from penetration alone(???)

Their voices joined together in one brilliant room-rocking chorus!

Cocks Warming Eve is here once again!