"What the fuck are you?" Some asshole asked, who was dressed like....I have no fu....Frylock?

"I'm the Big Brother, Bioshock fan character." I responded, and he laughed.

"Hehehe....Nobody cares about that series anymore! Bioshock is a shit game!" Out of nowhere, a man dressed as Subject Delta, with a smaller female as a Eleanor, Big Sister form.

"Pardon?" The 7-foot man asked, and the guy dressed as Frylock began to stammer, stepping back. "Run." He ran away, tripping on some guy's outstretched foot, a guy dressed as a Mr. Bubbles. The Subject Delta looked at me. "Who are you cosplaying as?"

"My Bioshock fan character, the Big Brother. I don't have weapons, but I dual-wield Plasmids. I can use Electro Bolt and Incinerate! At the same time." The Delta nodded. "Lucas Gingras. You?" I introduced myself.

"Kieth Whitnyl." He said.

"Samantha Whitnyl." the girl dressed as a little sister told me.

"Well, I'll probably see you later." They nodded, and we parted ways. Wandering for a while, I eventually came to a stand. On it were a bunch of random shit, including something I needed to complete my costume. An EVE Hypo. "Uh, sir? How much is this? Also, the guy was dressed like Fontaine.

"Ah, that EVE Hypo will be 7 bucks." Shit. Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, eh? I bought it, and placed it into the bandolier on my costume. I froze.

"You're 'The Merchant', aren't you?" He nodded. "And I'm going to be sent to Equestria?" Another nod. "Fuck it, do it." I blacked out.

I yelled an overly stereotypical Indian warcry, punching air until I realized I was completely fine. "SCRAAA, SCRO!!!" I paused. I had just tried to say, 'I'm fine?', but that came out. Shit....I was actually the Big Brother. Shrugging, I checked myself out. I was wearing the classic 1960's diving suit, bot rather than a round visor, I had a strip allowing me to see. Holding my arm out, I saw a tube with blue shit sloshing within. The EVE. I saw an EVE and Health meter in the top-left corner of my vision. I was splattered with blood, my stance uneven and sagging slightly to the left. I had brass kneepads and elbow pads, basically looking like a Plasmid-based, more masculine Big Sister. Looking around, there were trees everywhere. Also, Timberwolves. On ran at me, and I snapped my fingers, causing the wolf to burst into flames. I started to snap my fingers at all of them easily killing them. I breathed in, filtered oxygen entering my lungs. Right. Oxygen tank. Oh well, I walked along. While walking, I came to a path. Walking down the dirt path, I eventually came to a sign, which said 'Welcome to Ponyville!'. I sighed, and walked forward. I heard wings flapping, and I looked right, to see Rainbow Dash power flapping towards me. Switching Plasmids, I waited until she got close, before using dual telekinesis on one target, allowing me to grab her. She stopped suddenly, and I threw her through a house. the Rainbow blur came at me again, so I used Electro Bolt, turning her into a spasming mess. Suddenly, a purple alicorn landed, her wings flared open, and a very pissed look on her face.

"You better say sorry, you beast!" She tried to intimidate me. Rather than reacting, I stood there. "Fine. You have three seconds.....1.....2.....3!" Fluttershy appeared out of nowhere, using the Stare on me. Rather then being scared shitless, I grabbed her entire face with my hand, pushing her into the ground, and patting her on the head. Twilight fired a bolt of magic at me, which I grabbed with TK, and threw it back at her, which hit, stunning her. I used an EVE Hypo, refilling the meter. I used Cyclone Trap behind me as a security measure, and it paid off when Rainbow tried to fly at me again. She was flung into the air, and I Electro Bolted her again, causing her to hit the ground, hard. Twilight had recovered, and flew at me. When she got close, I used Sonic Boom, throwing her back. She recovered, and charged again, but I used Winter Blast, freezing her. When she flew past, encased in ice. I power kicked her, the Gene Tonic (Made for this character.) Soccer Practice enhancing the strength of the attack. She was heavily damaged, tons of shit broken. Rainbow was starting to get up, so I punched her in the face, the Gene Tonic (Custom-made) POW!! Increasing the strength of the hit by a lot, knocking her out cold. Fluttershy was just laying where I placed her, so I patted her on the head. I walked further into town, and after a few minutes of exploring the beautiful scenery I didn't care about, mostly because I don't, and partially because of my body. I was about to take a picture, before a big fuckin' smile appeared on my face. I walked back to see Twilight writing a letter, presumably to Celestia, and Rainbow Dash barely standing. I filmed both of them, getting research. Apparently Pegasi are resistant to lightning and kinetic weapons. Unicorns are resistant to elemental attacks, excluding ice. Twilight was done, and I watched it disappear. After 2 minutes, Celestia and Luna appeared out of nowhere, Celestia was as white as European leadership, and Luna was as dark as Detroit. Wait, shit, that sounds racist. Luna is a very dark blue. Her mane was a field of stars surrounded by an almost transparent substance that reminds me of lube....

"Creature! You have committed crimes against Equestria! Surrender now and you will not be harmed!" Rather then doing so, I switched to dual Incinerate!, my hands lighting on fire. "....Goodbye, beast!" They both charged at me, so I switched to Electro Bolt, shocking them, which stunned them. I then turned around and ran. I made it to the Everfree. I was more agile then them, able to grab trees to quickly turn myself. Eventually, I broke through the tree line to see the Castle of the Two Sisters, and it looked even worse. Few, if any walls were standing. Running to it, Celestia and Luna were barely missing with their magic bolts. I teleported through the heavy door, and hid behind one of the nearby, and still somewhat standing, statues. I heard the heavy doors hit the ground, having been smashed down. "WHERE ARE YOU?!" Celestia yelled in pure fury. "Come on Luna. He must be here somewhere!" I looked to see them walking down the long ass hall, but they stopped, Celestia staring at something. "....Nightmare.." She said darkly, and summoned a sword. I couldn't see who she was referring to, but I assumed it was Nightmare Moon. "DIE YOU MONSTER!"

"No, please!" A young voice rang out. Wait, young?

"hmph. Making yourself look like a filly. I know how horrible you are." I had enough of this. I ran out of my cover, charging the two sisters.

"SSSSCCCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

Author's Note

Yep. I'm doing this. Deal with it.