The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte

Chapters

Chapter 2: Single Parents' Club
Chapter 3: What a Night!
Chapter 4: Misunderstandings
Chapter 5: Whoops!
Chapter 6: The Concert
Chapter 7: A Fowl Day
Chapter 8: Pinkie and the Brain
Chapter 9: Thunderbolt and Lightning, Very, Very Frightening
Chapter 11: Mo' Crusaders, Mo' Problems
Chapter 12: Over the Hill
Chapter 13: The Autumn Equinox Ball
Chapter 14: Pinkie and the Brain II: The Return of Starlight Glimmer
Chapter 15: Chocolate Tornado
Chapter 16: I Left My Heart in San Franciscolt
Chapter 17: Author Intervention
Chapter 18: In Which Twilight Sparkle Absolutely, Positively Doesn't Read Teh Pr0ns
Chapter 19: It's Called a "Graphic Novel"
Chapter 1: Single Parenthood (Sort Of)
Chapter 10: Five Accidental Kisses and One Not-So-Accidental One

Chapter 2: Single Parents' Club

Hazelnut Latte waved goodbye as her sister headed off to school. Just like she did every morning, she dropped her little sister off at school and got back to work just in time to finish setting things up. She then heard a voice shout, "Bye, Muffin! See you after school!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to see the mail mare, Ditzy Doo, waving at her daughter, Dinky Doo. It was only then that the grey pegasus seemed to notice her. "Oh! Hazelnut Latte!" Ditzy said with a start. "I didn't see you there."

"Well, I'm here for the same reason you are." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin.

"Oh, good." Ditzy returned the smile. "I'm glad that Dinky gets along with Cocoa Jinx, anyway. There's a new filly who transferred in this year. Her name is Trendy Topic. I heard that you went to school with her aunt, Glitterella!" The grey pegasus pointed towards a white unicorn with a glimmering red mane.

Hazelnut Latte's heart sank when she realized just which one of Glitterella's siblings was Trendy Topic's parent. It was her oldest sister, Glitzy Glam. With an air of effortless grace, Glitzy Glam made her way over to the duo. "Long time, no see, Hazelnut Latte." She said with a smile.

"Not long enough." Hazelnut Latte said flatly.

Glitzy Glam glanced at the foals and watched Cocoa Jinx enter the school, with the filly's strong family resemblance to Hazelnut Latte. The ruby-maned mare then returned her gaze to the two mares. A condescending smile appeared on her face. "Now I see why you dropped out of Lacy Ruffles' School for Fillies when you were sixteen."

"I didn't drop out." Hazelnut Latte ground out. "I was transferred."

"Transferred." Glitzy Glam said with a chuckle. "How cute. Let me guess, they sent you to your aunt's farm to be homeschooled for nine months."

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Glitzy Glam." Hazelnut said angrily.

"You made your bed, so lie in it. Well, I suppose that it was a bed that got you into this position in the first place." Glitzy Glam said smugly. She then glanced at Ditzy Doo and said, "And what a coincidence, to see you chatting with the other statistic."

Ditzy Doo lowered her head, appearing quite ashamed. Hazelnut Latte glared at Glitzy Glam and said, "I'll put up with you because your daughter attends this school, not because I'm intimidated by you. Cocoa Jinx is my sister. Don't ever let me catch you talking about Ditzy like that, either!"

Glitzy Glam chuckled and said, "If you insist." She turned around to leave. "Ta-ta, ladies. I'm off to do my well-paying job, something you two might have gotten if you had bothered to go to college!"

"I did got to college!" Hazelnut Latte shouted. "I graduated from San Franciscolt State University- I double majored in foreign languages and Pan-Equestrian cultures!"

"So you're not a statistic, then." Glitzy Glam said with a chuckle. "You don't need to pity that pegasus just because she's a statistic."

"Don't call her that!" Hazelnut Latte barked.

"I should be going, lovelies." Glitzy Glam said smoothly. "Places to go, law firms to be partner at."

As the ruby-maned mare walked out of sight, the brown-coated mare returned her attention to the grey pegasus. "Don't listen to her, Ditzy. She's just a bitch."

"I know." Ditzy Doo mumbled. "It's just nothing that I haven't heard before."

"Why did she call you a statistic, Ditzy?" Hazelnut Latte questioned.

"My asshole ex-boyfriend, Dead Beat, got me pregnant when I was fifteen. My parents weren't exactly open to talking about sex-related things and Dead Beat told me that you couldn't get pregnant if it was your first time..." Ditzy said awkwardly.

"Oh, Ditzy." Hazelnut Latte murmured.

"My parents kicked me out, so I had to drop out and get a job to take care of Dinky." Ditzy exhaled audibly. "Goodness knows that Dead Beat didn't want anything to do with her. Do you know what he said to me when I told him that Dinky was his daughter? He told me that I can't prove it!"

"That fucking asshole!" Hazelnut Latte exclaimed.

"I know, right!" Ditzy got that determined look on her face. "I got my GED when I was nineteen and I got a good job at the post! I've even started taking classes at Ponyville Community College!"

"You go get 'em, Ditzy Doo." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin. She then looked around and said, "Look, Ditzy, I have to get to work."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Ditzy replied.

Hazelnut turned to leave, but seconds later, Ditzy appeared in front of her. Her wings settled to her side as she landed in front of the unicorn. "Hey, Hazel, if you ever need somepony to talk to about the whole single parent thing," The pegasus reached into her saddle bag and pulled out a pamphlet.

Using her magic, the brown-furred unicorn gingerly took it from her before opening it. "It's a support group for single parents." Ditzy explained. "Me, Berry Punch, Sterling Silver, and a few others are there."

"Sterling Silver." Hazelnut Latte deadpanned. "As in Silver Spoon's mother?"

"Yeah." Ditzy said, nodding. "Her husband, Money Bags, left her for a much younger mare. Apparently, Sterling somehow reached some sort of imaginary expiration date when she turned forty."

"Some stallions!" Hazelnut Latte huffed. "The gall!"

"Well, we're all different. Some of us were ditched by assholes." Ditzy replied. "A few ponies lost their partner. Some of them, like you, chose to become parents in a somewhat unorthodox fashion."

Hazelnut Latte tucked the pamphlet into her saddle bag and said, "Anyway, like I said, I have to get to work."

Ditzy Doo nodded and said, "Think on it, all right?"

"All right." Hazelnut said. "See you later, Ditzy!"

"Later, Hazelnut Latte!" the grey pegasus waved at the unicorn as she walked away.

ooooooooooooooo

After work, Hazelnut Latte managed to convince Applejack to watch Cocoa Jinx for a while. The filly was more than happy to play with Apple Bloom and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders after school. Knowing her, she would probably help them out with their Prench homework. She just hoped that her little Scion of Chaos wouldn't leave the Apple Family Farm a smoking crater by the time she got back. She then headed to the address listed on the pamphlet. She looked up at the door in front of her. It was in the same building as her apartment, just one floor up. She paused for a moment before knocking on the door. A few moments later, the door opened and a pale pink earth pony stallion with a blonde mane peeked out to see her. "Um, hi." Hazelnut Latte greeted him. "Is this where the Ponyville Single Parents' Club is?"

The stallion's golden-hued eyes brightened. "Oh, you must be the pony that Ditzy told us about! Come on in!"

Hazelnut Latte entered the apartment, leaving the pink stallion to close the door behind her. She followed him to the living room and saw a few mares, two more stallions, and, to her surprise, Rainbow Dash. All of them were sitting on the two sofas and a few chairs. Ditzy smiled and waved at the brown unicorn. The pink stallion gestured towards an empty spot on one of the sofas, next to Ditzy Doo. Hazelnut Latte quickly took her seat. The stallion then cleared his throat before speaking. "Hello, everypony. Welcome to the bi-weekly meeting of the Ponyville Single Parents' club. Everypony, since we have a new pony here, let's all introduce ourselves." The pink stallion smiled. "I'm Weaver. I'm High Jump's dad."

A familiar purplish-pinkish earth pony mare smiled and said, "I'm Berry Punch. My daughter is Berry Pinch."

Ditzy raised her hoof and said, "I'm Ditzy Doo, and I'm the proud mother of a ten-year-old filly named Dinky Doo."

A very muscular white pegasus with surprisingly tiny wings said, "I'm Bulk Biceps and I have a son named Kettlebell."

"I'm Fireheart." A cream-colored unicorn stallion with red hair introduced himself. "I have twins, one colt and one filly. Their names are Journey and Summer Rain."

A slate grey earth pony mare with a beautiful silver mane and pink cat-frame glasses smiled and introduced herself. "I'm Sterling Silver and I have a daughter named Silver Spoon."

Finally, Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. "I'm Rainbow Dash and I'm currently fostering a filly named Scootaloo, with intention to adopt."

Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. Rainbow Dash, adopt a ten-year-old filly at twenty-three? Then again, she herself had basically adopted a thirteen-year-old when she was twenty. Who knew? The universe certainly did work in mysterious ways. The brown-furred unicorn smiled and said, "Hey, everypony. I'm Hazelnut Latte. I'm twenty-seven years old and I'm the legal guardian of my younger sister, Cocoa Jinx. I was guardian to my younger brother, Fizzy Pop for a while, but he's an adult now."

Weaver smiled once again, "All right, now that everypony is acquainted, we can get down to business. How is everypony doing?"

"Berry Pinch just got her Cutie Mark." Berry Punch said. She then laughed and elaborated, "Unfortunately, it's an electric guitar. I fear for my ears. How about you, Sterling Silver?"

Sterling Silver moved her forehooves uneasily. "It... hasn't been easy with Silver Spoon. She's eleven years old. She still misses her dad and tells me that she hates me on a daily basis. She tries to be quiet to hide that she cries at night, but I can still hear her." The silver-maned mare awkwardly shifted in her seat and said, "I don't want to poison her against him, but I feel like she deserves to know why Money Bags left."

"We're not going to try push you either way, Sterling." Fireheart said, giving one of Sterling Silver's hooves a comforting pat. "I know you've thought long and hard about it. You'll make the right decision, whatever that decision may be."

Sterling Silver smiled at the red-maned unicorn. "Thanks, Fireheart." she said. She then turned to Bulk Biceps and asked, "How have things been up with you, Bulk Biceps?"

"Well, Kettlebell just turned fourteen. I remember how rough that age was." Bulk Biceps shook his head. "I love the kid to pieces, but things would be so much easier if Barb was still around."

"We all miss Barb." Berry Pinch said softly.

Hazelnut Latte leaned into Ditzy Doo's ear and quietly asked, "Who's Barb?"

"Bulk Biceps' late wife, Barbell." Ditzy Doo whispered back.

"Goodness." Hazelnut Latte murmured. "What happened?"

"We can all hear you, you know." Weaver pointed out.

Bulk Biceps shook his head and said, "It's okay, Weaver." He looked at the sapphire-eyed unicorn and said, "It was cancer. It was very aggressive and didn't respond to treatment. All they could really do was try to make her as comfortable as possible."

"I'm sorry, Bulk Biceps." Hazelnut Latte apologized.

"It was five years ago." Bulk Biceps said. "Kettlebell has more or less adjusted and I plan on living every day just as Barb would want me to. She wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to meet every day with a good, hearty..." He flexed his muscles and shouted, "YEAH!"

"I'm happy for you, Bulk Biceps." Berry Punch said with a smile. "I miss my Merlot, but I know that he would want me to be happy, too. I recently got a job as a sommelier at that fancy restaurant, Le Cheval D'or. It was one of my dreams to work as a sommelier and he always told me to follow my dreams." She turned to Fireheart and said, "Enough about me, how about you, Fireheart?"

The cream colored stallion hesitated for a moment before saying, "The twins' mother is trying to file for custody of the twins."

"Uh-oh." Rainbow Dash said with a frown. "Do you think she'll win?"

"Probably not." Fireheart replied. "I got custody because she was neglecting Journey and Summer Rain's medical needs. Still, the last thing that any of us need in our lives is Lavender Essence stirring up drama."

"Did you say Lavender Essence?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Yeah." Fireheart said. "Do you know her."

"We dated for a while." Hazelnut Latte admitted.

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Knowing Lavender Essence, she probably only had the kids to get attention and for ass-pats from her weirdo anti-science conspiracy nut 'momma bear' friends."

Hazelnut Latte and Fireheart both nodded. The brown mare said, "That actually does sound kind of like Lavender Essence. She was a massive attention-seeking narcissist."

"Don't get me started on narcissistic exes!" Weaver groaned.

"Did you have a paranoid, anti-medical nutcase for an ex, too?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"No." Weaver replied. "My ex, Spindle, was a stage-five clinger and very controlling. She found out that I was going to leave her and she spermjacked me."

"What?" Hazelnut Latte question. "What's a spermjacking?"

"I used a condom, but I wasn't careful where I disposed of it. She used the sperm inside to get herself pregnant to try to make me stay with her." Weaver explained. "It worked, but I didn't stay with her. She bad-mouthed me in front of everypony we know and tried to tell them that I was a bad father and abandoned her and High Jump."

"Yikes." Rainbow Dash raised a brow. "I haven't heard you talk about this before."

"Yeah." Weaver said. "I found out that she was neglecting High Jump, mentally abusing her, and trying to control her diet because she didn't want her to become even the slightest bit overweight- basically starving a growing filly. I'm seriously lucky that I managed to convince a judge to grant me custody when High Jump was eight. I got a restraining order on Spindle after that."

"Damn." Hazelnut Latte murmured before asking, "Is High Jump okay now?"

"She's better." Weaver admitted. "It took seven years and a lot of counselling to for High Jump to have an even remotely healthy relationship with food. She still has some problems with body image, but she's better than she was before. It helped to move to Ponyville. Here, there isn't nearly as much pressure to have a certain body type." Weaver smiled. "Now she's on the track and field team. She even got her cutie mark for steeplechasing when she was twelve. Her friends on the team have been good for her. What matters is that my little filly is happy now. That's all any parent wants, right?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "I hope I can make Scoots happy. She seems happy. I mean, since she's with me and not with her birth parents. They're in jail and they don't have any family members interested in taking her in. I've asked Scoots if she wants to visit them, but she said that she doesn't want to talk about it. I..." She inhaled deeply and exhaled through her nose, seemingly hesitant to continue.

Weaver smiled at her and said, "This is a safe place, Rainbow Dash. You can talk about anything here."

Rainbow Dash nodded before speaking again. "I just want to be a good parental figure to her. I mean, I don't expect her to ever call me 'Mom', but I always questioning if I'm doing a good enough job for her."

Berry Punch patted Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "Deep down, that's a struggle that every parent deals with. You question yourself sometimes, but the fact that you're doing it shows that you're not too proud to put your foal first."

"It's what matters." Ditzy said. "I mean, ever since I was old enough to get a savings account, I've been saving up so I can send Dinky to college. I want her to have a good future. To set a good example, I'm going to college, too. I'm studying at Ponyville Community College. From what my teacher says, I'm doing well."

"My brother, Fizzy Pop, is going to go to Coltlumbia University next year." Hazelnut Latte said proudly. Thank goodness for good college funds set up for them by their mother. "I hope that Cocoa Jinx goes to college when she grows up, too." She chuckled and added, "Hopefully, they'll each end up in a job that they love instead of settling for something just because ponies say that they're supposed to."

"Here, here!" Ditzy exclaimed.

The group of ponies talked about how their lives were going and how their foals were doing for a while before Weaver finally announced, "Okay, it's time for snacks! Tea and cookies are in the kitchen."

The ponies headed to the kitchen and each got themselves a cup of tea and a couple of cookies. Ditzy Doo and Hazelnut Latte sat down at the kitchen table. The brown unicorn looked at the grey pegasus and said, "So Ditzy, how have you really been doing?"

Ditzy took a sip of her tea and replied, "I'm trying to have a good day. I won't pretend that what Glitzy Glam said didn't get to me, but I know that just because she has some fancy law thing doesn't mean that she's better than me."

"Some ponies are just mean." Hazelnut Latte said with a shrug. "I mean, there's that grey-maned pony who keeps screaming about a 'wave of immorality' threatening to envelop Ponyville."

"Who, Bookbinder?" Ditzy questioned. "I can't stand that guy. Unfortunately, he hasn't done anything illegal, so all we can really do is try to ignore him and hope he'll go away."

Hazelnut Latte scoffed. "Easier said than done. He's the herpes of this town. He can be extremely annoying and he never goes away."

"Hazelnut Latte!" Ditzy tried to scold her friend, but ended up bursting into giggles.

Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "I'm sure that Grand-mère Chardonnay would have more words for him. You've never heard swearing quite like they swear in Prance. Maman didn't often swear, but you didn't want to get on her bad side."

"Do you speak Prench?" Ditzy Doo asked.

Hazelnut Latte grinned and said, "Je parle prançais."

"Have you ever been to Maris?" Ditzy Inquired.

Hazelnut Latte smirked once again and said, "J'aime Maris."

Ditzy elbowed the unicorn and snickered. "Show-off."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was another ordinary Tuesday morning in Ponyville. Hazelnut Latte worked on Tuesdays, so it was not strange at all for her. What was strange, however, was who walked into the door next. When she saw who it was, Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but tense up. Still, she forced a smile and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you?"

Discord rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, don't look at me like that. If I caused trouble here, I would have to go all the way over to Detrot to get an Anarchy Latte and the momentary satisfaction of causing all sorts of chaos in this location would not be worth the commute."

The Draconequus' eyes darted around, making sure that no one was looking- a futile endeavor, considering the only other individual in there was a softly snoring Twilight Sparkle, who had fallen asleep on her poppy seed pastry. Her coffee was completely untouched. She was working on some secret project that was keeping her up at night. Well, that's what the alicorn had told Hazelnut Latte, anyway. The brown-coated unicorn bit back a sigh and asked, "Is there anything specific that I can get you, Discord? Something tells me that you're not just here for an Anarchy Latte."

Discord leaned in and said, "Look, it's Fluttershy's twenty-fourth birthday today and I need this place empty this afternoon so it'll be nice and quiet. So far, Fluttershy has managed to keep her birth date a secret from Pinkie Pie. The little pink sugar addict only comes here on Fridays and Saturdays and she absolutely can't find out!"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but smile at how sweet the whole thing was. "Well, Tuesday afternoons are usually pretty quiet anyway. Hardly anypony comes in between 10 AM and 4 PM, which is my shift on Tuesdays. I think I can fix a birthday cupcake for Futtershy. What's her favorite flavor? We have hummingbird cupcakes today. Don't worry. No actual hummingbirds were harmed in the making of these cupcakes."

Discord seemed relieved when he said, "Good. That's actually her favorite kind of cake."

"What sort of deadline do you have?" Hazelnut Latte asked. "I can have things ready by 12 if you don't have any outlandish demands."

Discord ticked several things off on his lion's paw. "Hummingbird cupcakes, some of that lemongrass tea that she likes, something that says 'happy 24th' on it, absolutely no Pinkie Pie, and a music player. I'll bring a Trotter Swift album."

"You listen to Trotter Swift?" Hazelnut Latte raised a brow.

Discord pouted and said, "I don't. Fluttershy listens to Trotter Swift. I try to ignore it. I'm more of a Motörhoof kind of guy."

"I've never heard of Motörhoof." Hazelnut Latte admitted.

"Motörhoof was a bit before your time." Discord said with a dismissive wave of his lion paw. "A bit after my time actually, but a bit before your time." The Draconequus' shoulders slumped. "Okay, now I feel old."

Hazelnut Latte new better than to remind Discord that he was, in fact, old, but she decided that it would be much smarter not to. Instead, the brown-coated unicorn smiled and said, "I think I can arrange for all of that."

"Excellent." Discord clasped his paws together. "I leave it in your capable hands, Espresso or whatever your name is."

He was referring to Hazelnut Latte's Cutie Mark, which was a latte in a white cup with a heart in the foam. The unicorn frowned lightly and said, "My name is Hazelnut Latte."

Discord waved his clawed hand dismissively and said, "Details."

The Draconequus then snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash of light. Hazelnut let out a sigh. She had a birthday event to arrange quickly, then. First thing's first, though. She had to wake up Twilight Sparkle, who didn't seem to be woken up by anything. The barista considered her options before making a decision that would be approved by corporate regulations. Picking up the megaphone behind the counter with her magic, Hazelnut Latte then made her way over to the alicorn. Bringing the megaphone to her lips, the barista took a deep, deep breath.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It had taken all of Hazelnut Latte's charisma to convince a certain Princess of Friendship that she didn't need to be paid compensation out of the tip jar for giving her an hour-long case of tinnitus. The barista had explained to the alicorn that it was perfectly within Cuppa Joe's corporate regulations to use a megaphone to wake a customer who had been sleeping in a Cuppa Joe's establishment for three or more hours and could not be roused by anything else. Twilight complained, but Hazelnut Latte knew that she would be back the next day. Now, at 12 PM, the barista waited for Fluttershy and Discord to come in. Were it anypony else, Hazelnut Latte would have said no. However, this was Fluttershy and Fluttershy was one of Hazelnut Latte's favorite citizens of Ponyville. She didn't have to wait long. Discord came in, leading a blindfolded Fluttershy. The Draconequus headed over to the music player and put the Trotter Swift disc in and began to play it. With the music playing, the then removed the blindfold. "Oh, Discord!" Fluttershy gasped.

"Welcome, Fluttershy!" Hazelnut Latte said with a grin.

Discord led Fluttershy to one of the tables. She took a seat and he took a seat across from her. Hazelnut Latte carried a tray with hot tea and a pair of big, delicious-looking hummingbird cupcakes over to the table. The cupcake on Fluttershy's side of the tray had a piece of fondant with 'Happy 24th!' on it as an edible decoration. As Hazelnut Latte returned to her station, the butter-hued pegasus' eyes widened. Discord smiled in a caring, gentle way and said, "Happy birthday, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy looked up at Discord and said, "You arranged this all for me?"

"Well, we're besties, Fluttershy." Discord said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Fluttershy appeared to be on the verge of tears. "Oh, thank you, Discord!"

Discord immediately felt awkward. "Fluttershy, please don't cry."

Fluttershy wiped her eyes with the back of her hooves. "I'm sorry." she said softly. "It's just that no one has ever made a special, quiet birthday for me."

"Well, that's what best friends are for." Discord said with a grin. He leaned forward and said, "So Fluttershy, what are the plans for the next twenty-four years?"

Fluttershy got a thoughtful expression on her face as she said, "Well, I'll keep taking care of animals. Maybe someday I'll find that special somepony, settle down, and have a few foals." She looked up at her friend. She then asked, "What about you, Discord?"

Fluttershy waited with baited breath. Discord quickly looked away and said, "Oh, not me." He snapped his fingers and a jersey with the pi symbol on it and 'Discord' written on the shoulders appeared on him. A bottle of root beer appeared in his hand and said. "I'll never settle down. I'm a bachelor for life!"

Fluttershy looked down at her cupcake. "Oh." she said softly.

Had Discord not known any better, he might almost suspect that she was, for some unfathomable reason, disappointed. The Draconequus took a swig of his root beer and said, "Well, since it's your birthday, I didn't forget to bring a gift along."

Discord snapped his fingers and an envelope appeared in his clawed hand. He handed it to Fluttershy, who carefully opened it. When she saw what the contents were, the butter-hued pegasus gasped, "Discord, you didn't! Are these-"

"Tickets to the Trotter Swift concert in Ponyville next week." Discord said with a triumphant smirk. "There are two of them. You can bring somepony else... perhaps even a date." He leaned forward on his elbows, propping his head up in his hands. "Do you have anyone in mind?"

Fluttershy got a thoughtful expression on her face as she said, "Well, I guess I could bring Pretty Boy."

Discord turned around and pouted. "Pretty Boy." he grumbled.

"Well, he did ask me out." Fluttershy said with a smile. "It would be rude of me to turn him down and he is nice. I don't want to jump to any conclusion, but do you think he would make a good coltfriend?"

Discord folded his arms over his chest and scowled. "Sure." he ground out. "Pretty Boy is absolutely great."

Fluttershy smiled. "I'll ask him to come with me, then."

Discord said nothing. Deep down in the pit of his stomach, he felt a metaphorical monster stirring.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Discord watched them through a pair of binoculars. He scowled at the stallion who was on a date with Fluttershy. He refused to call that stallion, formerly known as Pretty boy, by name. He didn't deserve it, especially after he kissed Fluttershy's hoof like that.

Pretty Boy placed a hoof on Fluttershy's. Discord's metaphorical monster clawed at his insides. That stallion didn't deserve his precious Fluttershy. No, Discord thought, Fluttershy wasn't his, but she was precious.

Pretty Boy said something stupid. It must be stupid, coming from him. Of course, it still made Fluttershy laugh. When the stallion gave that stupid, charming smile that made Fluttershy giggle shyly again, the monster was straight-up gnawing at Discord's insides.

He should go in, on internal voice suggested.

If you do, Fluttershy will never speak to you again, another voice argued.

Chapter 3: What a Night!

The ambiance, as usual, was lovely. There were lovely garnet and rose gold tones everywhere and the band playing in the background was lovely. It was a Saturday night at the Silk & Feathers and the air was filled with music and the sounds of female voices talking. Applejack sat down at the bar and picked up the cocktail menu. A deep, luxurious, feminine voice spoke up from behind the bar. "What can I get you, Jaqueline? Will it be an appletini?"

Applejack looked up to see what looked like a pony with stripes. Her wings were a mixture of black and white feathers and her mane and tail were mixed black and white, too. Her eyes were spring green and her facial features were somewhat pony-like. On her flank was a clear sign that leaned towards her pony ancestry. She had a Cutie Mark, specifically a rocks glass filled with ice and whiskey. Applejack chuckled. "I get it. Because mah surname is La Pomme. That joke is gettin' old, Onda."

The winged zony, Onda Rocks, smirked and said, "Yet you laugh every time. But seriously, what's your poison tonight?"

"I'm feelin' like havin' a cosmopolitan tonight." Applejack replied.

Onda laughed and said, "My lips are sealed, Jaqueline."

Onda prepared the drink with great skill before setting the glass down in front of Applejack, who quickly paid for it. Applejack brought it to her lips and took a sip. "That's the stuff." she sighed. The farm pony then looked at the zony and said, "You sure can mix a drink, Onda. No offense to you and your kin, but ah've been to Whiskey Neat's bar with mah brother a few times and your pa can't make anythin' other than whiskey drinks. Ah don't mind an old fashioned, but mah brother likes 'em more than ah do. Ah don't know how to explain it. Sometimes, well..."

"Sometimes you just want to be a mare?" Onda supplied. "Don't worry. It's not a bartender's job to judge you. Well, a bartender might judge you if you don't tip."

Applejack laughed and placed a few bits in the tip jar. She glanced over at the band and said, "The Bee's Knees are doin' even better than usual tonight."

"Well, the lead vocalist, Honey Potts, just got engaged." Onda said cheerfully.

"Really?" Applejack asked. "To her marefriend, Sugar Cookie?"

"Yep." Onda replied. "They've been together for seven years. They just made it official this past Monday."

"Good for them." Applejack said with a smile.

Onda gave Applejack a once-over before commenting, "That's a nice dress, Jaqueline. I've never seen you in it before."

Applejack smiled awkwardly at the zony. She was wearing a black flapper dress and a matching cloche with a lace bow and false red rose, which was made from silk. She also wore a bit of mascara and some rouge. Her mane was hidden under a wig cap and the wig she wore made her look like she had a wavy, blonde bob cut. Her tail was also styled so it seemed wavy. Normally she wouldn't be caught dead in this outfit, but for some reason, nopony ever recognized her as Applejack in a dress and makeup. She felt oddly incomplete without a hat, so of course all of her outfits had a hat of some sort. To everyone who saw her like this, she wasn't Applejack. She was Jaqueline La Pomme.

Often the humble pony, Applejack looked down at her drink and said, "It ain't nothin' to brag about."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." Onda said earnestly. "Come on, Jaqueline. You're gorgeous. Between you and me, your lashes are nicer than Rarity's. Did you know that she gets eyelash extensions? It's not that there's wrong with somepony doing that. It's just nice to see somepony with natural lashes that nice."

"Blonde lashes don't show up as well unless ah wear mascara." Applejack admitted.

"Well, you rock it." Onda said. "You're also rocking the dress. Where did you get it?"

"Tuille Cascade's Fine Mares' Wear." Applejack replied. "It's in Canterlot."

Applejack had been there many times before to buy dresses. She usually went to the clearance area. Even at the clearance area, she could find some dresses that even Rarity would envy. During her last visit, Applejack had worn white lemon-print sun dress and a wide-brimmed straw sun hat. It had been hot that day and the only makeup she wore was some tinted lip balm. Her eyes were concealed by a pair of imitation tortoiseshell frame holly glasses. She had also curled her mane and tail. Sometimes she really loved that curling iron. The proprietress, Tuille Cascade, had never seen Applejack outside of her disguise, so she didn't recognize her. When the farm pony first started going out in disguise, she had been afraid that somepony might recognize her voice and accent. Fortunately, ponies with her accent weren't exactly rare and weren't limited to the Apple Family Farm. Still, as her pa always said, it was better safe than sorry. She made sure to remain vague about her regular life on the days when she wasn't Jaqueline La Pomme.

Onda grinned and said, "Maybe I should check it out next time I'm in Canterlot." She laughed and added, "Or not. My style is a bit more androgynous."

Applejack nodded. Onda was currently wearing a burgundy waistcoat and a white button-down dress shirt with a black bowtie. To be honest, the earth pony had never seen the bartender wearing anything feminine. Apparently Onda's elusive marefriend sometimes wore dresses, but the mare's identity was a complete mystery to Applejack. The disguised farm pony took a sip of her cosmo. "To each their own." she said with a shrug.

"I don't really frequent dress shops." Onda admitted. "I'll talk to Rarity sometimes, but I'd never buy anything from her. A lot of her stuff isn't my style. No, I prefer to go to Windsor Knot's stallions' wear store, WK's Suits and More."

"Ah don't think Rarity likes the competition." Applejack said with a smirk.

"Well, WK's fills a niche that was left open." Onda said. "Sometimes a pony just wants a good suit that doesn't sparkle."

Applejack snickered. She then cleared her throat and said, "Ah don't really care for sparkly dresses. Sequins ain't mah thing. Gems, either."

"You're a mare of fine but not ostentatious taste." Onda said with a smile. "You're a mare after my own heart, Jaqueline."

Applejack chuckled. "Don't you think that yer gonna be able ta seduce me."

Catching on to the joke, Onda smirked and said, "You're not really my type, Jaqueline. I like my mares the way I like my coffee: strong, dark, and Coltlumbian."

"And yer marefriend?" Applejack questioned.

"She's more like dark chocolate: smooth, bittersweet," Onda grinned salaciously. "and absolutely delicious."

Applejack laughed and said, "TMI, Onda. TMI."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was a few days before the concert and Fluttershy was getting ready for her first date with Pretty Boy. Discord was hovering nearby, his arms folded over his chest as he sulked. "I still don't trust that stallion." the Draconequus huffed.

As Fluttershy ran her brush through her mane, she said, "Pretty Boy is a nice stallion, Discord."

"Oh, yes." Discord said sarcastically. "His baby-blue eyes, his silky navy coat, a mane and tail the color of sunshine, and utterly statuesque. He's tall, dark, and hoofsome- every mare's dream."

Fluttershy didn't pick up her friend's sarcasm. Instead, she blushed and said, "He is hoofsome..."

That did not have the effect that Discord had hoped. The butter-colored pegasus was not in any way discouraged. Not for the first time, the Draconequus wished he had both fangs. That way, when Pretty Boy showed up, he could possibly intimidate him into not going out with Fluttershy. Alas, while he was frozen in stone, a group of careless colts started playing a bit roughly and throwing things around. One of the things that they were throwing hit one of his fangs, breaking it off. It was starting to grow back, but it was taking forever. Discord continued to scowl and let out a huff. "He's not that hoofsome."

"Discord, he's a nice stallion." Fluttershy said with a slight frown.

"'Nice stallions' still only want one thing, and they're the worst about it." Discord growled.

Fluttershy frowned for a moment but then she seemed to realize it. She smiled and asked, "Discord, are you worried about me?"

"No!" He said, feeling a bit flustered. "You're a grown mare and I'm sure that you can- yes."

He finally admitted it. Fluttershy placed a hoof gently on his thigh. In a soft, gentle voice, she said, "It's going to be okay, Discord."

Discord looked in her soft, innocent eyes. He felt his heart clench. "I just don't want you to be alone with him." the Draqonequus admitted. "If you're alone with him and something happens..."

He wouldn't be there to protect her, he thought to himself. Fluttershy batted her lashes at him, still so innocent. Discord felt his heart skip a beat again. The pink-maned pegasus seemed to come up with an idea. "Discord," she said gently, "we'll be in a public place. If it puts you at ease, you can keep an eye on me. Just don't let Pretty Boy see you, okay?"

"Fine." Discord huffed. Secretly, he was relieved.

There was the sound of a knock on the door. Fluttershy set her hairbrush down and headed over to the door. She opened it and when Discord saw the stallion, he inwardly groaned. Pretty Boy's mane was held perfectly in place by a nice-smelling pomade. Not only that, his goatee was immaculately groomed. For the love of chaos, the stallion looked better with a goatee than he did! The bastard was gorgeous! Pretty Boy smiled at Fluttershy and said, "Fluttershy, you look as beautiful as ever."

The stallion then held out a bouquet of red roses. Discord glared at him, but the stallion didn't seem to notice. If looks could kill, Pretty Boy would have disintegrated on the spot. Fluttershy blushed and smiled. In her soft, lovely voice (Lovely? Where had that come from?), the pegasus said, "I'll put them in some water."

Discord waited by the door as his best friend found a vase and put the roses in with some water. Fluttershy then headed over to the door. With a smile on his face, Pretty Boy asked, "Shall we go, Fluttershy? It's a quiet night and I've made reservations at Le Cheval D'or."

"Goodness, you didn't!" Fluttershy gasped.

"A lovely mare such as you should be catered to you by the finest." Pretty Boy said, still smiling that stupid, stupid smile.

"If you insist." Fluttershy said shyly.

"Well, let's go, then." Pretty Boy replied.

With that said, the two headed out the door. Discord watched them walk away until they were nearly out of sight before slamming the door shut. Deep in his gut, he felt that metaphorical monster stirring once more.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Discord followed. Of course he followed. He had Fluttershy's permission. The Draconequus watched them through a pair of binoculars. He scowled at the stallion who was on a date with Fluttershy. He refused to call that stallion, formerly known as Pretty boy, by name. He didn't deserve it, especially after he kissed Fluttershy's hoof like that.

Stupid Stallion placed a hoof on Fluttershy's. Discord's metaphorical monster clawed at his insides. That stallion didn't deserve his precious Fluttershy. No, Discord thought, Fluttershy wasn't his, but she was precious.

Stupid Stallion said something stupid. It must be stupid, coming from him. However, it still made Fluttershy laugh. When the stallion gave that stupid, charming smile that made Fluttershy giggle shyly again, the monster was straight-up gnawing at Discord's insides.

You should go in, on internal voice suggested.

If you do, Fluttershy will never speak to you again, another, more irrational voice argued.

Discord watched in silence as the two ate and conversed. Fluttershy seemed to be falling for Stupid Stallion's charms. It was horrible to watch them like that. It was horrible to watch her like that. He desperately wanted to go in there, but Fluttershy had told him not to let Stupid Stallion see him. This was one occasion where Discord was listening to her. So he waited, watching them through the binoculars. When the meal was done, the Draconequus watched Stupid Stallion pay for the meal before placing his hoof on Fluttershy's back and leading her out. When they exited the building, Stupid Stallion said something again, but it was too far away for Discord to hear it. The Draconequus, even in the low light, could see Fluttershy blush. He seemed to be asking something. Fluttershy nodded. Stupid Stallion leaned in and kissed Fluttershy on the cheek. Discord could feel that monster clawing relentlessly at his insides. Stupid Stallion backed off and had an expression on his face with a certain subtle look that Discord could recognize. Fluttershy, sweet, innocent Fluttershy, was too inexperienced in the ways of stallions to recognize the meaning of the subtle look that Stupid Stallion was giving her. Never before had Discord truly wanted to destroy somepony. Even back when he was 'evil', he had never deliberately caused serious harm to anypony. No, he was just too selfish to think about, let alone care, how his actions were affecting anypony else. Had he matured? Possibly. He was still a mischievous bastard, but he was slightly more considerate. He didn't always anticipate the results, though, as indicated by the worm thingie during the blue flu incident.

When Fluttershy and Stupid Stallion began to head back to the pegasus' dwelling, Discord transformed into a firefly and followed his best friend and the stupid earth pony. When they eventually arrived back at Fluttershy's dwelling, Stupid Stallion smiled and said, "It's been a lovely evening, Fluttershy. Thank you for gracing me with your presence."

"Thank you for taking me out to dinner." Fluttershy said with a shy smile. "It was wonderful."

The stallion leaned in and kissed Fluttershy on the cheek again. Discord couldn't take it anymore. He teleported back inside his best friend's house. He settled down on the couch and summoned a book from Fluttershy's book shelf. He looked at the title. It was a copy of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespony. That did not help his mood at all. When he heard the door start to open, he flipped the book open and pretended to be reading it. When Fluttershy stepped into her house, she had a smile on her face. Looking up from the book, Discord asked, "Did the date go well?"

"It went very well." Fluttershy said happily. "Oh, Discord, you were wrong about him. He was the perfect gentlecolt."

"Right." Discord frowned. "A gentlecolt."

Fluttershy noticed the title of the book that Discord had been 'reading'. "Romeo and Juliet?"

Discord shrugged. "I was in the mood to read a tragedy."

"I haven't read Romeo and Juliet in a while." Fluttershy admitted. "It always makes me sad."

"Indeed." Discord said. "A tale of love and strife that only ends up with two people in love losing everything in the end."

Fluttershy had a thoughtful expression on her face. She then said, "It's been a nice night, but I have to get to bed." She looked at the Draconequus and smiled. "Good night, Discord."

Discord's harsh gaze softened as he looked at his friend. He smiled at his friend and, in a soft voice, said, "Good night Fluttershy."

He watched as she headed to her bedroom before turning his attention to the book in earnest. He then started from the beginning and began to read it.

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Marona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hooves unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Discord slammed the book shut. Love. Who needed love? It was a ridiculous emotion. It was stupid, to feel that way about somepony. Especially when it was somepony that you weren't supposed to feel that way about. Love didn't happen to creatures like him. He knew that even if he felt that way about a mare, she would still go into the arms of somepony else. It didn't matter if he fell in love, he thought. He would avoid falling in love at all costs, he thought as he gazed forlornly into the darkness as the last candle went out. He would avoid it because creatures like him weren't meant for that. If he loved, just like Romeo and Juliet, he would only lose in the end.

Author's Note

Because there had to be angst. I like to be mean to characters sometimes.

A scene from the next chapter:

Hazelnut Latte stared at the horrific sight in front of her. She stammered for a moment before she finally regained control of herself. She inhaled deeply before shouting, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Pinkie Pie grinned and said, "I found Tree Hugger's maaaagic brownies and I ate them!"

"And you thought that this was a good idea because...?" Hazelnut Latte ground out.

Pinkie pie smiled, her eyes reddened by the substance that she had eaten "I think she said that she cooked them in a pot. Well, something about pots." She stared up at the ceiling fan. "Ooh, a ceiling fan!"

Hazelnut Latte sighed and said, "Pinkie, I think I should tell you what was in those brownies."

The pink earth pony didn't say anything. Instead, she plopped down and laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling fan and giggling. Hazelnut Latte facehoofed. This was the last time that she let Tree Hugger convince her to house-sit while she was at a hemp convention.

Chapter 4: Misunderstandings

This chapter contains some drug use. If that bothers you, I regret nothing.

Rainbow Dash picked up her beer and took a sip of it before setting it back down. on the table. She picked up her cards and gave them a good, long look. She looked up from her cards to see the stallion on the right side of the table looking quite nervous. A bead of sweat trickled down his temple. He looked down at his cards, and then up at her. The cyan pegasus gave the purple earth pony a disarming smile. He still seemed nervous. This was, of course, a high stakes game. She had thirty bits worth of chips on the table and she tried not to push her luck, but the cards seemed to be going her way. She had a good hand- three aces and three sixes. The stallion swallowed audible before speaking. In a nervous, shaking voice, he asked, "Do you have any twos?"

Rainbow Dash smiled evilly at the stallion and said, "Go fish."

They were going clockwise, so it was Rainbow Dash's turn. She casually flicked her left ear before turning to a grey stallion with a pink mane. His Cutie Mark was a spade- the kind that went in the ground, not the kind on cards. "Steel Shovel," Rainbow Dash inquired calmly, "Do you have any sixes?"

Steel Shovel threw down a six, his last card. "Damn it!" he swore.

The purple stallion laughed and said, "It looks like you're out of the game, Steel Shovel."

Steel Shovel waved a hoof dismissively and said, "I'm done anyway. It's just as well that I leave before Rainbow Dash takes all of my money."

A forest green pegasus mare with a white mane and a Cutie Mark that looked like a jug with X's on it spoke up. She smirked and said, "I think you mean 'before Rainbow Dash takes all of my money again'."

Steel Shovel glared at the mare and said, "Shut up, Moonshine!"

Rainbow Dash smirked as well and said, "You're welcome to come back next Friday, Steel Shovel."

Rainbow Dash knew that he would be back next Friday. Friday night was cards night. The purple stallion chortled and said, "If you were as good at playing cards as you are at digging holes, you might not lose so much money."

Steel Shovel rolled his eyes and said, "Look who's talking, Linguini. You can't cook anything other than pasta dishes and you keep losing."

Linguini raised his chin and said, "And yet you are the first pony to leave the table."

Steel Shovel scowled and picked up his beer, chugging down the remnants of the beverage before chucking the empty bottle into the trash and storming off to a chair in the corner. Moonshine chuckled. "Sore loser much?"

"Sore loser indeed!" Linguini chuckled.

Moonshine looked at her hand, and then at the remaining two. She had two cards and Rainbow Dash and Linguini each had three cards. The green pegasus turned to the purple earth pony and asked, "Linguini, do you have any twos?"

Linguini swore and slammed his cards down on the table for Moonshine to take. There were two of them. Each placed their bets: winner take all. It all came down to who had what cards. Rainbow Dash looked at Moonshine and asked, "Do you have any aces?"

Moonshine gaped at the cyan pegasus. No one had ever beaten her at Go Fish before! However, Moonshine was a graceful loser. She smiled and said. "Looks like you've won this time, Rainbow Dash." She chuckled. "Don't get used to it. You won't win next time."

Rainbow Dash just grinned and said, "We'll see."

The rainbow-maned flier then looked at the other three ponies in the room and said, "Okay, everypony, it's time to pay up."

The other ponies grumbled but nonetheless gave her what they owed. With her bags heavy with bits, Rainbow Dash saluted the trio with her hoof and said, "It's been a pleasure playing with you. I'll see you next Friday."

With that said, Rainbow Dash headed out into still-dark streets in the wee hours of the morning.

ooooooooooooooooooo

It was Saturday morning, officially two days before the Trotter Swift concert, when a certan cyan pegasus dropped her winnings off at her house. Rainbow Dash would never admit it, but she kind of looked forward to the concert. On the Friday before last, she had won two tickets to the Trotter Swift concert when Steel Shovel ran out of money. The tickets were meant for him and his wife, who had not been happy. Still, Rainbow Dash had won them fair and square. She hadn't originally wanted to go, but it would be a shame to waste two perfectly good tickets. Now she just had to find somepony to go with her. She still had two days to figure it out. With that thought done, she stepped into Cuppa Joe's. Hazelnut Latte was there, smiling. When the rainbow-maned pegasus walked up to the counter, the brown unicorn looked at her and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you?"

Rainbow Dash returned the smile. "I'll have one of your signature hazelnut lattes, Hazelnut Latte."

"A hazelnut latte for the pegasus with the rainbow tresses." Hazelnut Latte replied. "I'll have your drink ready in a minute. If you want, you can sit down while you wait."

"Nah, I'll stand here." Rainbow Dash said.

"All right." Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "Suit yourself."

With that conversation finished, the brown unicorn set about making one of her signature drinks. The air was fragrant with the aromas of coffee, vanilla, and hazelnut. When the drink was prepared, it was finally time for the finishing touch. Hazelnut Latte used her coffee-based talents to carefully decorate the drink. When she finished, the latte was topped with a perfect heart, identical to the one in the foam of the latte on Hazelnut Latte's Cutie Mark. With that done, the brown unicorn presented Rainbow Dash with the drink. The cyan pegasus let out an impressed whistle. "Dang, Hazel. You never get it wrong, do you?"

"Well, making and styling coffee-based beverages is my special talent." Hazelnut Latte looked happy to have pleased another pony with her latte art talents.

"Your coffee is at least 20% cooler than the lattes at the Cuppa Joe's in Canterlot." Rainbow Dash said with one of her characteristic cocky-looking grins.

Rainbow Dash heard the bell jingle, implying that somepony else had entered. She saw that Hazelnut Latte was staring over her shoulder. The cyan pegasus turned to see that Discord and Fluttershy had walked into Cuppa Joe's. Not wanting to get in the way of Fluttershy's order, Rainbow Dash took her latte and headed over to one of the tables to watch what was going on. Fluttershy walked over to the counter. Hazelnut Latte smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's? What can I get you?"

"I'll have two Anarchy Lattes, please." Fluttershy responded.

Discord looked up from wherever he had been looking and said, "Make mine just coffee, black."

Rainbow Dash's mouth fell open. Fluttershy turned to look at Discord and asked, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Discord said tersely.

"Oh, okay." Fluttershy turned back to Hazelnut Latte. "I'd like to change that order to one Anarchy Latte and one black coffee."

"One loco latte and one caffeine beverage as dark as my soul." Hazelnut Latte nodded. "Got it. Feel free to sit down while I'm preparing your drinks."

Fluttershy sat down in her favorite booth, while Discord remained standing. The butter-colored pegasus looked at the Draconequus, eyes wide, and asked, "Aren't you going to sit down, Discord?"

"I'll just be in your way." Discord said with a frown. "When you're talking to me, you'll just be distracted from planning your next date with Stup- er, Pretty Boy."

"Won't your legs get tired?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'll sit here." Discord moved to the other side of the room, where Rainbow Dash was seated. "With Rainbow Dash."

"Oh." Fluttershy his her face behind her bangs.

There was an awkward silence before Hazelnut dinged the bell, signaling that the drinks were ready. Discord and Fluttershy each took their drinks- this time, Discord paid- and headed to their respective seats. Things were extremely awkward. After several long minutes of silence, Rainbow Dash put her front hooved up on the table. "All right, Discord," she said, "spill."

"I have nothing to tell you." Discord said with a scowl.

"Bullshit." Rainbow Dash returned that scowl. "You and Fluttershy are usually connected at the hip and now you won't even look at her, while she keeps looking at you like she's worried. What happened?"

"Like I said, I have nothing to say." Discord replied.

Rainbow Dash sniffed the air and detected the tell-tale aroma of books, wine, and shame on him. What could wine and shame be doing together on somepony? Suddenly, it hit her. "Oh, Discord, you didn't..."

"Whatever you think I did, it's none of your business." Discord huffed.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "You did! I knew it! It was so obvious! You smell like wine and shame."

Discord flushed slightly. "It was late at night and Fluttershy had just gotten back from her date with Pretty Boy and went to her bedroom." He sneered the stallion's name. "I know that you drink beer when you curl up to read a book, so I why can't I drink wine?"

"How drunk were you?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Drunk enough." Discord admitted. "With predictable results."

Rainbow Dash nodded and silently contemplated this. After a moment of this, she spoke. She leaned towards Discord and asked, "You did use protection, didn't you?"

"Wait, what?" Discord was confused.

"You said that Fluttershy was in her bedroom and you got drunk with predictable results." Rainbow Dash said, surprisingly nonplussed. "You two had wild, crazy, drunken monkey sex and now that it's the morning after, you're afraid that things have become weird between you. Discord, you don't need to worry that much. If anyone will be able to forgive you for having a drunken one-night stand with her, it would be Fluttershy." She leaned forward a little more. "Now tell me, did you use protection?"

Discord sputtered. "You think that Flutershy and I..." He scowled at Rainbow Dash. "You have a dirty mind, Rainbow Dash? Who do you take me for?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Well, Rarity and I have been making bets about when you and Fluttershy will finally deal with the rampant UST between you two. It was bound to happen eventually. Now answer the question: did you use protection?"

Discord growled and quietly hissed at the cyan pegasus, "I did not sleep with Fluttershy!"

Rainbow Dash gazed at the Draconequus, inspecting him until she realized that he was telling the truth. "So you didn't sleep with her."

"No." Discord replied. "I did not."

"Ah." Rainbow Dash said. She took a sip from her latte before asking, "Well, why are you avoiding her?"

"I'm not avoiding her." Discord huffed. "Can't I enjoy the company of somepony other than Fluttershy? I mean, she's occupied lately with Pretty Boy and she's taking him to that concert, so she clearly doesn't have time for me."

Suddenly, it hit Rainbow Dash. Discord was jealous of Fluttershy's potential love interest. She would like to say that she hadn't seen it coming, but she totally saw it coming. It seemed like she and Rarity were the only one who noticed the looks that Discord and Fluttershy gave each other when the other wasn't looking. Still, if Fluttershy went with Pretty Boy, there was a chance that the two ponies would get together. Rainbow Dash, despite her initial dislike of Discord, did not want to see that happen. The cyan pegasus had twenty bits riding on the two getting together in less than two years from the time the bet was made and she didn't want to lose that bet with Rarity. If Fluttershy and Discord were to have a chance, he would have to be at that concert with her. It was then that an idea struck Rainbow Dash. "Hey, Discord." she whispered.

"If you're done impugning my character, what is it now?" Discord asked.

"I have two tickets to the Trotter Swift concert and it just so happens that I don't have anypony to go with me. Since you want to keep an eye on Fluttershy and Pretty boy, would you like my second ticket?" Rainbow Dash quietly inquired.

Discord raised a brow. "You don't do these things for me. Why?"

"Well, let's just say that I don't think that Pretty Boy is good enough for Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash replied. "I mean, I've heard of the stallion's reputation. They don't call him Pretty Boy for nothing."

Discord's eyes narrowed. "What reputation?"

"Well, let's just say that during his travels over Equestria, he's left behind a few jilted mares." Rainbow Dash replied. "Between the two of us, we can protect Fluttershy. We'll have to let her know about Pretty Boy, but we'll have to do it carefully. Now, here's the plan..."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Hazelnut Latte got off of work, she put her uniform away in her locker before securing it and leaving. Summer break had just started and for the first time in months, it was just her in her apartment. Cocoa Jinx was off visiting Hazelnut Latte's twin sister in San Franciscolt. The little filly would spend the next month or so there. That left Hazelnut Latte with nothing to do while she was off work. Fortunately, there was an answer. For the next three days, Tree Hugger would be in Los Reingeles for a hemp convention. Somehow, Hazelnut Latte had been looped into house-sitting for the mare. There were many plants that needed watered daily and Hazelnut Latte only needed to be there overnight. Now that she was off work, she was heading down to Tree Hugger's place. When she arrived, she used the key to unlock the door and let herself in. When she got there, it looked like a tornado had gone through the place. Many things were knocked over, but only a lamp seemed to be broken. Preparing herself to use any defensive spell she knew, Hazelnut Latte headed into the house. As she headed down the halls, she heard a muffled, "WOOOOoooo..."

It sounded much like a fake ghost. Okay, there was a crazy pony in here. When she entered the living room, she saw what was happening. She saw what had caused the chaos, or rather who caused the chaos. Hazelnut Latte stared at the horrific sight in front of her. She stammered for a moment before she finally regained control of herself. She inhaled deeply before shouting, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Pinkie Pie grinned and said, "I found Tree Hugger's maaaagic brownies and I ate them!"

"And you thought that this was a good idea because...?" Hazelnut Latte ground out.

Hazelnut Latte sighed and said, "Pinkie, I think I should tell you what was in those brownies."

Author's Note

Sorry that this is a short chapter, but I wanted to move along with the drama.

A scene from the next chapter:

The curly-maned Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. Goodness, she didn't know how... alluring that action was! "Hazelnut Latte?"

The barista then burst into a loud, hearty laugh. Rarity was confused. The brown-coated mare used her magic to remove her saddle bags and moved so the white-coated mare could see her flank. Instead of a latte with a heart in the foam, this pony's Cutie Mark was a wrapped piece of candy with a lightning bolt on it. Wait a second...

The now-mysterious mare eased into chuckles. When she saw the expression on Rarity's face, she smiled and said, "Hey, don't worry about it. This isn't the first time somepony has gotten us mixed up and it probably won't be the last."

"Well, you're clearly not Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said with a frown. "Who are you?"

Chapter 5: Whoops!

It was one day before the Trotter Swift concert and Rarity had managed to get her hooves on two tickets. She knew exactly who she wanted to take with her. She just needed to find the courage. Of course, there was still the problem about not knowing where the pony in question lived. So she wandered through Ponyville, trying to gather her thoughts and her courage. As if her prayers had been answered, she saw the object of her potential affections, Hazelnut Latte, off in the distance. She was moving some large, heavy-looking boxes with her magic, loading them into a bulding with a sign reading 'Sugar Rush' above the door. Hazelnut Latte's saddlebags were so big that they were covering her Cutie Mark. Then there was the matter of the barista's mane. Rarity had only ever seen it straight and this time, it was extremely curly. She would never tell anypony that she curled her own mane, so perhaps Hazelnut Latte didn't want anypony to know that she straightened her mane? The barista pushed a hand cart into the building. A few minutes later, she returned to retrieve a refrigerator with a clear door. Rarity steeled herself and decided to do it before she decided to stop herself. She galloped over to Hazelnut Latte and skidded to a halt in front of her. The words tumbled out of Rarity's mouth as she blurted out, "Willyougototheconcertwithme?"

Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. "I beg your pardon?"

Rarity cleared her throat. In a more dignified voice, the purple-maned unicorn asked, "Will you go to the Trotter Swift concert with me?"

Hazelnut Latte furrowed her brow and gave Rarity a long, hard look. Finally, the barista said, "I'm sorry, but I can't go. I don't know you."

Rarity's heart plummeted. Of course Hazelnut Latte wouldn't recognize her. They had never even had a conversation. Maybe she was just another faceless customer to the lovely brunette. Hazelnut Latte adjusted her black cat-frame Glasses. "I'm sorry, Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said awkwardly. "I don't know what came over to me."

The curly-maned Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. Goodness, she didn't know how... alluring that action was! "Hazelnut Latte?"

"Well, you're clearly not Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said with a frown. "Who are you?"

The brown-coated mare got a cocky grin on her face as she said, "The name's Sugar Shock. Hazelnut Latte is my twin."

"Oh." Rarity felt awkward. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Sugar Shock. My name is Rarity."

Sugar Shock waggled her eyebrows. "Now that we know each other, how about those tickets?"

Rarity frowned and said, "No." She turned and walked away. After a few steps, she turned to look back at Sugar Shock and added, "And not a word of this to Hazelnut Latte!"

"I can keep a secret." Sugar Shock said. "Been keeping a few for a while. What's one more secret, right?"

"Good." Rarity said, still not smiling.

There was a long, awkward silence before the air was filled with a high-pitched buzzing. Suddenly, an orange and purple blur shot past them, shouting, "LYRA HEARTSRINGS WORE IT BEST!"

Moments later, a familiar white stallion with a grey, curly mane and a clerical collar struggling to chase the blur. "Get-" He wheezed. "get back here... you little heathen! There is nothing funny about that mare impersonating a member of the clergy!"

Sugar Shock looked at Rarity and asked, "What the hell was that?"

"That was Reverend Bookbinder." Rarity replied. "He claims to be some sort of religous figure. I presume that the purple and orange blur was Scootaloo, one of the more mischievous local foals."

"Well, at least I know who not to let into Sugar Rush now." Sugar Shock said with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Scootaloo is a bit of a hoofful, sometimes, but she's not that bad!" Rarity protested. "You can't ban her from your store!"

Sugar Shock rolled her eyes. "I was referring to Bookbinder. Some of the chocolates I make and sell are liquor-infused. In order to buy them, you need an ID card showing that you're at least 18. The little speed demon won't be able to get any." She let out an annoyed huff. "If Bookbinder finds out that I sell liquor-infused chocolates, he'll be on my ass about sin and corruption. Hazel wrote to me about him."

"Well, it wouldn't be fair to not give him just one chance." Rarity said, hoping that things wouldn't blow up in her face.

"Fine, I'll give him a chance." Sugar Shock rolled her eyes again. "Just one chance, though. He only gets one."

The confectioner used her horn to start moving the refrigeration unit. She then said, "Look, if you want to keep talking to me, you're going to have to help me. This stuff won't move itself into the store."

Rarity nodded and assisted Sugar Shock in moving the refrigeration unit. It was the first thing that the proprietress plugged in, moments later filling it with bottles of soda. The two unicorns then spent the next hour or so moving boxes, shelves, and various other things into the building. When they were done, they were both a bit tired. Sugar Shock looked at Rarity said, "Thanks for the help, Rarity. How about a nice, cold soda? It's on the house."

Rarity smiled. "A soda sounds lovely."

The two unicorns then headed over to the refrigeration unit to select their drinks. When Rarity saw some of the unusual flavors, she raised a brow. "Switcharoo Punch?"

"Yeah, you don't want to drink that with anypony else." Sugar Shock warned the other mare. "If two ponies drink from the same soda, their cutie marks and a few abilities will get mixed up."

"Oh." Rarity said. "I'll make sure to avoid Switcharoo Punch for the foreseeable future."

"Well, there's plenty of other flavors." Sugar shock said. She then suggested, "How about Strawberry Habanero?"

Rarity shook her head at the strangeness. She looked at the drinks again. Sugar Shock made another suggestion. "I recommend the Black Forest cake soda."

"You have a Black Forest cake soda?" Rarity raised a brow in surprise.

"Yep." Sugar Shock replied. "It tastes just like Black Forest cake."

Rarity thought about it for a moment before deciding, "Oh, what's the harm?"

Sugar Shock got a Black Forest cake soda out and gave it to Rarity, along with a straw. The confectioner then got out her own soda, a cucumber flavored one, before closing the refrigerator unit's door. The two mares sat on the bench outside Sugar Rush, sipping their drinks. Eventually, Rarity spoke up. "What was Hazelnut Latte like as a filly?"

"Hazelnut Latte wasn't a boring foal." Sugar Shock replied. "She kept trying the strangest things to try to get her Cutie Mark. She didn't get it until she was almost 13, which is a pretty late age. She was in Lacy Ruffles' School for Fillies, a school for fillies from the ages of 13 to 18. She got transferred to a public school when she was sixteen because she was being teased for having a Cutie Mark in latte art and becoming a barista. There were some pretty snobby fillies there, from what I've heard. I've never met them for very because I was transferred to a different school in my first year, the Hard Knocks School for Wayward Youths. Long story. The reason I was sent there was because I slugged the PE teacher's daughter for calling Hazel useless, ugly, four-eyed peasant whose face would send colts running in the opposite direction." Sugar Shock shrugged. "We were ugly ducklings until our mid-teens."

Rarity was very surprised, to say the least. "You went to a school for delinquents?"

"Not delinquents." Sugar Shock corrected the other mare. "Wayward youths. The PE teacher at Lacey Ruffles' was a pillar of the community and had some influence. It was either transferring to that school or being charged as an adult for assault."

"You don't seem ashamed in telling me this." Rarity said observantly.

"Well, I've learned my lesson about controlling my temper and the way I see it, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not going to lie about my past." Sugar Shock looked at Rarity. "Still, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anypony about it because my records were sealed when I turned 18. I'm not ashamed, but ponies tend to make a big fuss about it when they find out that I came very close to being charged with assault. If you're a friend of Hazel's, I can be honest with you because she's generally a good judge of character."

Rarity smiled and nodded. If Hazelnut Latte was a good judge of character, maybe there was still a good chance that they could become friends. As for the concert ticket, she could always take one of her other friends, maybe Applejack if she was interested.

oooooooooooooooo

"Ya want me to go to the concert with ya?" Applejack was surprised.

"Well, you are a good friend." Rarity replied. "Besides, when's the next time a Trotter Swift concert will be held in Ponyville?"

"Well, you're right about that." Applejack said. "If ya want me ta go, ah'll go with ya. ah'll admit it, ah kind of do like Trotter Swift's music."

"Well, would you like to go?" Rarity asked.

"Sure." Applejack replied. "In fact, ah really want to go."

"Good." Rarity said with a smile. "Here's hoping that we'll have a good time there."

"Ya got that right." Applejack said, returning the smile.

Rarity was quite happy that things were going her way regarding Applejack. The two had become closer than ever, in the same platonic sense that it had always been. The farm pony had been an exceptionally good listener as of late. In the past six months or so, Applejack had also become less unrefined. Rarity wouldn't call Applejack fancy, but she took better care of her appearance. She had even started brushing her mane more often. She hadn't really changed, though. She was still Applejack. The Applejack that Rarity knew was always honest and didn't hide things from her friends. She doubted that the farm pony would ever hide anything important from her friends.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Hazelnut Latte never really knew whether she wanted to go to the Trotter Swift concert or not, but it was too late since the tickets were sold out. She would be working tomorrow night because all of her other co-workers would be at the concert. They had arranged for time off and Hazelnut Latte would be the only one there. She figured that she would get most customers after the concert was over tomorrow night. She looked forward to it with both eagerness and trepidation. Having that much business in one night was not common in Ponyville. She would need somepony to keep an eye on Cocoa Jinx. She didn't really need a foalsitter per se, but Hazelnut Latte would feel safer if somepony was with her that night. That let her with a dilemma. "I really need to find somepony." Hazelnut Latte grumbled under her breath.

"Somepony for what?" A high-pitch voice asked.

Hazelnut Latte jumped when Pinkie Pie appeared next to her, seemingly out of nowhere. "How do you even do that?" Hazelnut Latte asked with a groan. "Are you some sort of teleporter?"

"I'm not a teleporter!" Pinkie Pie said with one of her typical grins. "I'm Pinkie Pie! You said you needed somepony. What for?"

"I can't believe that I'm telling you this." Hazelnut Latte sighed. "I'll be working tomorrow night after the concert and I need somepony to keep an eye on my sister, Cocoa Jinx. She's ten years old and not quite old enough to be left alone at home for that long."

"I could watch her!" Pinkie Pie offered. "I'm reeeaaally good with foals!"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't deny that what Pinkie Pie said was true. She had yet to meet a foal who didn't like the pink earth pony. One would think that someone like Pinkie Pie couldn't be trusted with responsibility, but Hazelnut Latte had heard otherwise when it came to foals. Pinkie Pie's eyes widened adorably and she said, "Pleeeeease!"

Hazelnut Latte sighed and folded. "Fine." She said. "Just promise me that you won't burn my apartment building to the ground."

"I Pinkie promise!" the earth pony replied. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

A cupcake seemingly appeared out of nowhere and Pinkie Pie was about to smash it into her eye, but Hazelnut Latte said, "Smashing the cupcake into your eye isn't necessary. I believe you."

"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Pinkie Pie squealed. She then saluted and said, "You can trust me, Hazelnut Latte, ma'am!"

"All right." Hazelnut Latte said decisively. "How does seven bits an hour sound?"

"You don't need to pay me 'cause I love foals, but okay!" Pinkie Pie said with a grin.

"It's only fair that I do." Hazelnut Latte insisted. "If I don't, I'll feel like I'd be using you."

Pinkie Pie smiled happily. "You're really nice, you know that?"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but return that smile. She had gone the entire time she was in Ponyville without Pinkie Pie finding out when her birthday was and she intended to keep it that way, but the pink mare wasn't that bad. She may be a complete pain in the ass, but she was always there when somepony needed her. Hazelnut Latte was quite happy when she said, "If it's any help, you should know that there's no pot brownies in my apartment."

Pinkie Pie nodded. She sheepishly admitted, "After the Brownie Incident was one of the few times in my entire life that I was embarrassed about something."

"Well, now you know what to look for if you smell brownies." Hazelnut Latte replied.

"Does Cocoa Jinx like brownies?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"She does." Hazelnut Latte replied. "If you want to make some, there's a box of brownie mix in the cupboard."

Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically. "Pre-made brownie mix! Sacrilege! I must make the brownies from scratch!"

A notepad appeared from out of nowhere. "I'll make you a list of things you need for my brownies." Pinkie pie said.

The pink pony then used a pencil held in her mouth to write down the ingredients for the brownies. She then gave the brown-coated unicorn the list. Hazelnut Latte read the list out loud. "Flour, water, brown sugar, white sugar, salt, vanilla, cocoa powder, vegetable oil, baking powder, and macadamia nuts. I have flour, brown sugar, white sugar, and vegetable oil, but I'll have to buy the others. I can do that today at that new general store."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie said happily. "I'll go with you!"

Hazelnut Latte bit back a sigh. "Don't you have more important things to do?" she asked.

"I need to make sure you get the right brands, silly!" Pinkie Pie giggled.

Hazelnut Latte sighed out loud this time. "Fine." she sighed.

"Yay!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed before breaking into song.

"I have a friend named Hazelnut, hooray!
I'm going to go shopping with her today, today!
And afterwards, we'll have such fun and bake before the day is done, hooray!
We'll make things with chocolate!
While we do it, we'll talk a lot! Hooray!
Sweet baked yummy, in my tummy, hooray!
I have a friend named Hazelnut, hooray!
I'm going to have fun with her today!"

Suddenly, Hazelnut Latte found herself in the general store and they were both carrying groceries in their saddle bags.

"We'll bake and bake and bake some more!
We'll be better friends than before! Hooray!
Sweet, baked yummies make you smile!
Best brownies in twenty miles! Hooray!

Once again, in a manner that Hazelnut Latte could not explain, she suddenly found herself in her kitchen with Pinkie Pie. They were both wearing aprons and chef's hats.

Sweet, sweet chocolate and some nuts,
Making it takes a lot of guts! Hooray!
I have a friend named Hazelnut, hooray!
On friendship, I have so much to say!
Happiness is give and take!
We have so much more brownies to bake! Hooray!
Oh, we will have fun today!
There's one more thing that I can say!
HOORAY!"

By the time Pinkie Pie was done singing, Hazelnut Latte was staring at her. "What the fuck just happened?"

"Oh, that was just a Pinkie Pie musical number montage." Pinkie Pie said with a wave of her hoof.

The timer dinged, indicating that the brownies were done. The brownies were removed from the oven and the pans were set on a towel on the counter to cool. Hazelnut Latte was more confused than ever. "What's a Pinkie Pie music montage?"

"Oh, when I start singing, things happen reeeeaaally quickly!" Pinkie Pie explained.

"I'll try to pretend that I understood that." Hazelnut Latte said with a raised brow.

Until then, Hazelnut Latte hadn't realized what an enigma Pinkie Pie was. How did her musical numbers do such strange things? Did she have some sort of strange power to manipulate space and time? Hazelnut Latte probably wouldn't get even close to figuring it out unless she gained some sort of advanced knowledge of quantum theory.

Author's Note

Should I include more musical numbers, not just from Pinkie? I'm thinking about doing one for Rarity if/when she falls in love with a character whose name I'll only let you guess.

A scene from the next chapter:

Discord couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him. Not only was Fluttershy sharing a box of snacks with Pretty Boy, she was also holding hooves with him! Slowly, the stallion was getting closer to the mare. Discord looked around. Where in the name of chaos was Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy smiled at Pretty Boy and said, "Thank you for coming to the concert with me, Pretty Boy."

Pretty Boy smiled at Fluttershy and said, "It was my pleasure, Fluttershy. I hope we can go on more dates like this in the future."

Discord could only watch in horror as Fluttershy replied, "I'd be happy to, Pretty Boy."

Pretty Boy was silent for a moment before asking, "Fluttershy, if it's okay, may I kiss you?"

Chapter 6: The Concert

Today was finally the day! Fluttershy felt a bit of trepidation when it came to being in a crowd, but she was excited to be on a special date with Pretty Boy. She was too excited to even think about how strange Discord had been acting as of late. Right now, the Draconequus was nowhere in sight.

The butter-colored pegasus had decided to wear something to the concert. It was supposed to be a little chilly today. She searched through her wardrobe for something to wear before deciding to wear a light green hoodie with daisies and a pink butterfly embroided on the back. As usual, she didn't wear any makeup. She truly looked forward to the concert. She was a huge Trotter Swift fan and she also wanted to hang out with Pretty Boy. They had known each other for about three months. He could be a potential coltfriend, but she probably wouldn't find out until the concert. Fluttershy hummed softly as she brushed her mane. She had to look her best for Pretty Boy. When she heard somepony knock on her door, she put her brush down and headed to her front door. She opened the door to see Pretty Boy smiling at her. He had a Trotter Swift cap on. The stallion looked approvingly at the pegasus mare and said, "Nice hoodie, Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy blushed a little and said, "Thank you, Pretty Boy."

"You're welcome." Pretty boy replied. He then asked, "Are you ready to go to the concert?"

"Oh, very much so!" Fluttershy said, her tone soft but eager.

"Got the tickets?" Pretty Boy asked.

Fluttershy patted a pocket on the side of her hoodie and said, "I have them. They're safe and sound."

"Well, we've no time to waste, then." Pretty Boy said. "To the concert!"

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Applejack and Rarity stood in line and waited for their turn to hand in their tickets and join the other audience members for the concert. Rarity smiled and said, "We're going to have so much fun!"

Applejack nodded and said, "Ah remember her old country music days."

"I'm more familiar with her more contemporary work." Rarity admitted.

"Ah think ah'd like ta see the snacks." Applejack said. "Ah didn't have supper."

"I suppose I see your point." Rarity said. "You should have eaten before we got here, though."

She had been looking forward to this concert ever since she had heard that it was going to be held in Ponyville, so she made sure to get tickets early on. She hadn't been able to get a date to come here, but she was still happy that she had her dear friend, Applejack here. They disagreed on some things, but they shared common ground on other things. One of these things was liking Trotter Swift. Rarity couldn't take Sweetie Belle with her because the concert would be at night and the little filly also preferred Katy Pony. Thank goodness that Sweetie Belle didn't like Gustin Beaker, a griffin pop star that Rarity, among many others, found extremely irritating. A thought occurred to Rarity. She looked to Applejack and asked, "You're not a Gustin Beaker fan, are you?"

Applejack scoffed and said, "Hell no! That feller is a no-talent reprobate!"

"Reprobate?" Rarity questioned, raising a brow in surprise.

"Word a' the day calendar." Applejack explained sheepishly.

"Well, at least you're not a fan." Rarity said with a shrug. "I probably wouldn't speak to you for at least a week if you were."

Applejack laughed and said, "Ah wouldn't blame ya. If somethin' ever happens that turns me into a Gustin Beaker fan, make sure to kick me until ah come to mah senses."

"Applejack, you know that I abhor violence." Rarity said with a frown. She got a thoughtful expression on her face as she said, "Though in that circumstance, I might consider making an exception."

"Ah appreciate it." Applejack said with a grin. "Ah knew that ah could count on ya, Rarity."

Rarity returned the smile and said, "Likewise, Applejack. Now once we get into the concert, we can have some nice female bonding time."

"Ya ain't wrong about that." Applejack replied.

Before long, they had arrived at the booth where they handed in their tickets. The ticket stallion gestured towards the gate and said, "You can go in."

Applejack and Rarity shared a grin before heading in to get some snacks before joining the rest of the audience.

ooooooooooooooooo

Rainbow Dash and Discord were in the back of the audience. Discord could see very well due to his height, but the cyan pegasus had to use her wings to stay high enough to see the stage. "Well, it shouldn't be long until she comes onto the stage." Rainbow Dash commented.

"Oh joy." Discord said sarcastically. "I'll most certainly enjoy myself listening to the lovely music of Trotter Swift, of whom I am a great fan."

"I doubt that it'll be all that bad." Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

Discord folded his arms over his chest and humphed. Rainbow Dash looked at him warily and said, "Remember, Discord: no ruining the concert with your chaos magic. If Fluttershy isn't here already, she should be here soon. She deserves to enjoy the concert, especially once we get her away from Pretty Boy."

"Fiiiine!" Discord groaned. "No chaos magic. For now."

"For the entire concert." Rainbow Dash elaborated.

After about fifteen minutes, a unicorn mare walked on stage. She was a soft peach color with a blonde mane. "That's Trotter Swift." Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Oh, joy." Discord snarked.

A few of the fans in the audience turned to glare at Discord. The Draconequus responded by sticking his tongue out at them. "Stallion-foal." Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.

There was a brief introduction as Trotter Swift said a few words that Discord didn't listen to. After that, the band started playing and Trotter Swift began to sing. The ponies in the crowd seemed very enthuseastic about the whole thing. Discord was less than happy. After the song was finished, the audience cheered. There was some more talking and a few minutes later, another song began. As Trotter Swift was anouncing which song she would sing next, Rainbow Dash turned to Discord and said, "I've heard this song like a thousand times. I'm going to get some snacks, okay?"

"Are you really going to leave me alone here?" Discord groaned.

"I won't be long." Rainbow Dash promised before heading off.

There were a few more songs as Discord waited for Rainbow Dash to come back, but she had yet to return. It was then that he spotted Fluttershy and Pretty Boy. The Draconequus glared at Pretty Boy. The stallion looked over his shoulder, saw Discord, and smirked. He then took Fluttershy's hoof in his and began to share his snacks with her as he seemingly returned his attention to the concert. Discord couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him. Not only was Fluttershy sharing a box of snacks with Pretty Boy, she was also holding hooves with him! Slowly, the stallion was getting closer to the mare. Discord looked around. Where in the name of chaos was Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy smiled at Pretty Boy and said, "Thank you for coming to the concert with me, Pretty Boy."

Pretty Boy smiled at Fluttershy and said, "It was my pleasure, Fluttershy. I hope we can go on more dates like this in the future."

Discord could only watch in horror as Fluttershy replied, "I'd be happy to, Pretty Boy."

Pretty Boy was silent for a moment before asking, "Fluttershy, if it's okay, may I kiss you?"

Fluttershy turned red and seemed to think about it before nodding. Her eyes fluttered closed. When her eyes were closed, Pretty Boy glanced over at Discord and smirked when he saw the expression on the stricken Draconequus' face. The stallion then began to lower his face towards Fluttershy's. Suddenly, a familiar voice spoke up, filling Discord with a sense of relief. "Just what the hey are you doing, Pretty Boy?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm trying to kiss my marefriend." Pretty Boy replied. "Do you mind leaving us alone?"

Fluttershy peeked at Rainbow Dash from partly behind her bangs and said, "Um, it would be nice."

The butter-yellow mare looked at the cyan mare and shyly admitted, "Please don't ruin this. I've never been kissed before..."

"Well, it shouldn't be with him." Rainbow Dash huffed.

"Well, why not?" Pretty Boy asked.

Rainbow Dash glared at him and said, "It just shouldn't, okay! You're not good enough for her!"

Fluttershy frowned and said, "Rainbow Dash, that's not a very nice thing to say."

"Discord agrees with me." Rainbow Dash said. "He's been really worried about you." She smiled at Fluttershy and said, "I know that you've never been in a relationship before and I know how it feels to finally be in one, but don't you think you're rushing into this?"

Pretty Boy glared at Rainbow Dash and said, "That's really none of your business."

Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy and said, "It's your decision, so I'll leave it up to you. Just think about it, okay?"

With that said, the weather pony walked away. Pretty Boy turned to Fluttershy and said, "It really is none of her business."

Fluttershy had a thoughtful expression on her face. She then looked at Pretty Boy and asked, "What if she's right?"

"Fluttershy, there's nothing to worry about." Pretty Boy said reassuringly. "If you want to kiss me, that's okay."

"I really don't know..." Fluttershy said softly.

"It's going to be okay." Pretty Boy reassured her.

The stallion then put a hoof on Fluttershy to hold her in place as he leaned forward to try to kiss her. The yellow pegasus looked away and said, "Pretty Boy, I don't know if I want this anymore..."

Pretty Boy used his hoof to move Fluttershy's head so she was facing him. He then crashed his lips down on hers. Discord could feel that old monster coming back to life in the pit of his stomach. He refused to call it jealousy. He told himself that it was just a desire to protect Fluttershy. She wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss Pretty Boy and he made her kiss him anyway. To day that Discord was not happy about that was an understatement. He immediately teleported over to the pair. Before he could think of an intelligent plan, he shouted, "Get off of her!"

Discord then grabbed Pretty Boy and yanked him away from Fluttershy. "Discord!" Fluttershy gasped.

The Draconequus held the stallion by the throat and held him so they were face to face. "Just what do you think you are doing?" Discord growled.

Pretty Boy tried to say something, but Discord's hold was preventing him from doing it. "Discord, stop it!" Fluttershy cried. "You're choking him!"

Discord immediately let go of the stallion, dropping him onto the ground. Pretty Boy scrambled to his feet and put his hoof on his throat. "Get away from me, you psycho!" the stallion said angrily.

"Don't call my friend that!" Fluttershy protested.

"Why are you his friend?" Pretty Boy asked. He then looked at Discord and said, "You're ruining my date, you ugly patchwork freak!"

Suddenly, Pretty Boy's face was jerked to the side by an abrupt impact. He looked at Fluttershy, his eyes wide. "You slapped me!" Pretty Boy exclaimed.

In a rare moment of strong assertiveness, Fluttershy glared at Pretty Boy, raising her voice as she said, "How dare you!"

"How dare I what?" Pretty Boy asked.

"How dare you say that about my friend!" Fluttershy said angrily.

"Fluttershy, this is all a big misunderstanding." Pretty Boy tried to reassure her.

"Go away." Fluttershy said coldly.

"Fluttershy, I-" Pretty Boy tried to say, but Fluttershy interrupted him once more.

"Go away!" She shouted. "I never want to see you again!"

Pretty Boy frowned, but he still turned to walk away. He paused by Discord and said in a voice that only he could hear, "This isn't over. I'll win her back and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

With that, Pretty Boy left the two alone. Discord knew that he had saved Fluttershy from the jaws of a wolf in sheep's clothing. She would be happy and she would... absolutely not fall for him. For all he tried not to listen to ponies, he had still heard the things that they said about him. He knew that he wasn't particularly attractive. Even if he weren't a bachelor for life, he knew that the lovely Fluttershy would never be interested in a mismatched creature like him. Discord turned to Fluttershy and asked, "Are you okay, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy smiled at the Draconequus and said, "I am now, thanks to you."

Discord couldn't prevent himself from blushing a little. He tried to keep the awkwardness out of his voice as he said, "Of course. That's what best friends are for."

Fluttershy blushed a little and softly said, "Yeah. Best friends."

Rainbow Dash returned just in time to see the whole exchange between Discord and Fluttershy. The cyan pegasus sighed. It didn't seem like the two would get together anytime soon. Despite no longer having any competition for Fluttershy's heart, something still seemed to be holding the Draconequus back. Rainbow Dash saw Discord give Fluttershy that gentle, almost loving smile and the innocent yellow pegasus returned a smile of her own. Just as the music began to play again, Rainbow Dash shouted, "Just kiss her already!"

The music was too loud for Fluttershy and Discord to hear Rainbow Dash, so they didn't have any sort of response. Rainbow Dash was more frustrated than ever. They needed to get together. If she would have to play matchmaker, then so be it. In the meantime, Fluttershy was enjoying the concert. Discord, however, was simply enjoying the company of dear, sweet Fluttershy.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After the concert, Rarity and Applejack had gone their seperate ways. The farm pony had work to do in the morning. The seamstress, however, was too wired to sleep. That was what led her into Cuppa Joe's. There was quite the line to the counter. Rarity was willing to wait. If she was a bit more tired by the time she got there, she would get a cup of herbal tea. If she knew that she would be up all night, she would get a cup of coffee. She waited for about an hour. By then, was midnight and it was time for the place to close. Rather than Matcha Bliss being at the counter, Hazelnut Latte was there. The barista smiled at the seamstress and said, "Sorry, Rarity."

Rarity sighed and said, "What am I going to do now?"

Hazelnut Latte shrugged and said, "If you want, there's a 24 hour diner that we can go to. They know how to make a pretty good cup of coffee. If you'd like to go with me, that is."

Rarity could feel her heart beat faster. She managed to sound nonchalant when she said, "Oh, sure. Why not?"

Hazelnut Latte smiled and said, "All right. You can wait outside. I just need to close things down and put my uniform away. I won't be long."

Rarity nodded and left the building. About ten minutes later, Hazelnut Latte returned without her work uniform. She looked at the white unicorn and asked, "Shall we go?"

Rarity smiled and said, "Yes, let's."

oooooooooooooooooooo

They arrived at Greasy Spoon's Diner, which was open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They walked in, selected a booth, and sat down. A couple minutes later, a waitress wearing a diner uniform walked up to them. The waitress smiled and said, "Hello. I'm Long Shift and I'll be your waitress." She gave menus to Rarity and Hazelnut Latte. The waitress then asked, "Would you like your drink orders first?"

Hazelnut Latter nodded and said, "I'll just have a coffee, black."

Rarity said, "It would be lovely if you could get me the same thing that she ordered."

Long Shift wrote down the orders and said, "Two cups of coffee, coming right up."

It didn't take long for Long Shift to return with two cups and a pot of coffee. The pale pink mare smiled and said, "Have you decided what to order yet?"

"Yeah." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Can you get me an alfalfa burger and hay fries?"

"I'll have the beer battered vegetables." Rarity ordered her food. "It comes with hay fries, doesn't it? I feel like spoiling myself."

"That it does, ma'am." Long Shift replied as she wrote down their order. "Anything else?"

Hazelnut Latte looked at Rarity, who shook her head. The barista turned to the waitress and said, "No, that'll be all."

"Your order should be ready in ten minutes." Long Shift informed them before walking away.

The two of them drank their coffee in silence for a few minutes before starting up a conversation. "How was the concert?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"It was excellent." Rarity replied. "I heard that there was a fight, but I didn't see it. I don't know who was in the fight or what it was about, but it was apparently resolved before security needed to be called."

"Damn." Hazelnut Latte let out a whistle. "Can't even go to a concert without a fight breaking out, huh?"

"Well, everything turned out alright." Rarity said.

"You're right about that." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Hey, you're even getting a free meal!"

"Oh, you don't need to pay for it!" Rarity exclaimed.

Their orders quickly arrived and the plates were sent in front of the two ponies. Hazelnut Latte looked at the waitress and said, "Thanks."

After eating a few hay fries, Hazelnut Latte said, "Anyway, paying for the meal is no problem. Anything for a new friend, right?"

Rarity couldn't help but smile. She would deny to her last breath that she was attracted to Hazelnut Latte, another mare, but she would be very happy to be friends with the barista. "Well, if you insist." Rarity said. "After all, who am I to turn down my new friend's generosity?"

Hazelnut Latte laughed and said, "Of all ponies, you would say that."

Rarity couldn't help but chuckle a little, too. She then used her magic to pick up a couple of her hay fries. She let out a sigh and said, "A moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips."

Hazelnut Latte laughed and said, "Just eat the hay fries, Rarity."

The two of them bantered as they enjoyed their meal. When they were done, Rarity and Hazelnut Latte ended up splitting the bill. They made sure to tip the waitress, too. As they walked out of the diner, Rarity asked, "Do you really mean it? What you said about being friends, I mean."

Hazelnut Latte smiled and replied, "Sure. It's always good to make a new friend." She frowned and said, "Actually, I don't really have that many friends in Ponyville. It's mostly just Ditzy Doo."

Rarity returned that smile and said, "Well, not to worry, Hazelnut Latte. I will most definitely be your friend."

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Rarity wiped her brow as she worked on embroiding one of her elaborate dresses. She had been working on the elaborately embroided dress and corresponding bolero jacket for the past three days. She was about halfway done and she knew that when she was done, they would be very beautiful. It wasn't something that she'd openly admit, but this was a difficult project. She could handle a detail-oriented project, but ponies rarely commissioned an outfit that was this elaborately embroided. She had to give it to Countess High Born next week, which gave her only two more days to finish it. She had no choice but to spend all of her free time working on the outfit. She could feel her empty stomach protest, but she ignored it. She didn't have time to cook. It would normally be time for lunch, but she would cook a small meal at supper time if she remembered. In the last three days, she only really ate breakfast.

As Rarity finished embroiding a specific panel of fabric, she heard the jingle of a bell as somepony walked into her business. She heard a now-familiar voice call out, "Rarity, are you there?"

Rarity's back cracked as she straightened up from where she was sitting hunched over to keep a close look at the detail of the embroidery. She was still waiting for her new contact lenses to come in the mail, so she had to wear her you-know-whats. They were a pair of Dulce & Cabana designer frames, but they still weren't contact lenses. Still, it would be rude not to answer her visitor. The seamstress stood up and called out, "I'm coming!"

She then headed towards the front of her store, where she saw Hazelnut Latte carrying a lacquered box of some sort. "I brought something for you." the barista said with a smile.

Rarity took the box and opened it. Inside were some cucumber and avocado sushi rolls, a lemon and poppy seed mini cupcake, a couple strawberries, and some vegetables cut into cute shapes. It also came with a pair of chopsticks. "You've been forgetting to eat lately and I've been worrying about you." Hazelnut Latte explained. "I made you something that I used to eat a lot back in San Franciscolt."

Rarity's heart welled up as she smiled at the thoughtful Hazelnut Latte. She had known that things would go well when they decided to become friends. The happy seamstress sat down at a clear table. She used her magic to pick up a sushi roll and lift it to her mouth. She chewed it, swallowed it, and considered how delicious it was. It was then that her body realized how hungry she was. The white unicorn began to gobble down her food in an unladylike fashion before she was interrupted when Hazelnut Latte exclaimed, "Slow down, Rarity! Remember to chew your food!"

Chapter 7: A Fowl Day

Pinkie Pie bounced down the road, managing to keep up with her companion's longer strides. The pink earth pony, in her typical, chipper voice, asked, "Are we going to visit someone?"

In a voice that was as calm as usual, Big Mac replied, "Eeyup."

"Is it a friend?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, continuing to be calm.

"An old friend?" Pinkie Pie inquired.

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered.

Pinkie Pie, continued the inquiry. "A female friend?"

"Eeyup."

Pinkie Pie, never once ceasing in her bouncing, raised a brow and said, "A marefriend?"

"A-nope." Big Mac replied.

"What's she like?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"She's nice." Big Mac said.

As always, Big Mac was a stallion of few words. "What's her name?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Lady Garden." Big Mac said nonchalantly.

Pinkie Pie snickered. Big Mac frowned and turned his head to look at the pink mare. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie Pie giggled.

Big Mac gave her a suspicious look before returning his attention to the direction in which they were heading. Before long, they saw a big, elegant house off in the distance. It could almost be described as a mansion. There was a sign on the road that turned off to lead to it. The sign read, 'Flicker Family Banana Plantation'.

"Is this it?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Are we there yet?"

Big Mac smiled sadly at the building and said, "Eeyup."

Pinkie Pie glanced at the large rooster that was riding on Big Mac's back. In a voice that wasn't the least bit salacious, the pink mare said, "I've been meaning to ask you, Big Macintosh, why do you have a giant cock?"

Big Mac almost tripped over his own hooves. Had he not been red in color, one might have seen him blush. "Richard likes Lady Garden." the stallion responded awkwardly.

"Oh, okay." Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

The two turned to head down the path to the Flicker mansion. They walked up the stairs to the front porch and headed over to the door. Once they were there, Big Mac knocked on the door. A female voice spoke up. She had an accent similar to the Apples'. "I'm comin'!"

After a minute or so, the door opened, revealing a buttercream-colored earth pony mare with a sky-blue mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a pea blossom. Her eyes were slightly red, as if she had been crying. The blue-maned mare smiled and said, "Well, howdy, Mac!"

"Mornin', Lady Garden." Big Mac smiled back.

Lady Garden seemed to notice Pinkie Pie. "Who's yer friend here, Mac?"

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"The Pinkie Pie?" Lady Garden's smiled. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you." She looked at Big Mac, then at Pinkie Pie. "Don't you two just stand there like scarecrows. It's hot outside! Come on in! I got a nice, cold pitcher a' sweet tea."

"Ooh, sweet stuff!" Pinkie pie exclaimed happily. "I like sweet stuff!"

Lady Garden laughed and stepped to the side, allowing the two other ponies into her house. The buttercream mare then closed the door behind them and headed into the kitchen. When all three ponies arrived in the kitchen, Lady Fingers got three glasses out and set them on the table. She then retrieved a pitcher of sweet tea from the refrigerator and proceeded to pour everyone a glass. Satisfied that everyone had been attended to, Lady Garden then said, "I reckon y'all want to know why I asked for the both a' ya."

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered.

"Why did you ask for both of us?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Lady Garden almost lost it, but managed to choke back the urge to cry again. She swallowed and said, "Ya already know, Mac, but mah pa just died."

"Oh, that's so sad." Pinkie Pie said with a sad frown.

Lady Garden sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes. "Sorry, y'all. I'm tryin' ta keep it together." She looked at Pinkie Pie and said, "They're goin' to bury Pa tomorrow. I wanted to talk ta' ya about the reception." She took a deep, deep breath and said, "Pinkie Pie, I was wonderin' if ya'd plan Pa's reception."

Pinkie Pie gave Lady Garden a sad look and said, "I'm really, really sorry, Lady Garden. I don't really plan sad occasions."

Lady Garden shook her head and said, "No, yer mistaken. Pa didn't like sad things. He was always makin' everypony laugh." She smiled at Pinkie Pie. "I'm askin for yer help because Pa wouldn't want a sad reception. He'd want a happy party where everypony was laughin' and rememberin' how positive, good-natured, and fun Pa was." She turned to Big Mac and said, "You remember what he was like, Mac."

Big Mac nodded and said, "Bean Flicker was always makin' me laugh. Ya would've liked him, Pinkie."

This was not the appropriate time, so Pinkie Pie did not giggle at Lady Garden's late father's name. Lady Garden looked at Richard, who was standing next to Big Mac. The buttermilk mare smiled and said, "I see ya brought Richard."

"He always makes ya smile." Big Mac explained.

"So you don't want a sad reception with tears and sadness?" Pinkie Pie questioned. "You want a happy party with fun and laughter to remember your dad and the way he was?"

Lady Garden nodded. "Correct."

Pinkie Pie smiled brightly and said, "I'd be happy to plan that party!"

"Wonderful." Lady Garden's smile was genuine this time.

It was then that everypony noticed that something was amiss. Pinkie Pie was the first to ask. "Wait, where did Richard go?"

Lady Garden sighed and said, "He escaped, didn't he? That rooster's always explorin' the plantation."

"I'll find him." Big Mac promised.

The trio spent a few hours searching for Richard the rooster. They were just about to give up, when Pinkie Pie suddenly heard something. "Do you hear that?" she asked. She looked around and said, "I think it's coming from over there!"

Pinkie Pie, Lady Garden, and Big Mac followed the chicken sounds until they found an outhouse, over which was a sign that read 'The Pooper'. "I think he's in here!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"Eeyup." Big Mac agreed. "Ah'll get him out."

The stallion then attempted to open the outhouse door, but it was stuck. "Darnit." Big Mac grumbled.

Big Mac tried for several minutes to open the door, with no success. Lady Garden looked around and asked, "Where's Pinkie Pie?"

Big Mac now had two things to worry about and he was about ready to kick down the Pooper. Suddenly, the door to the Pooper opened up and Pinkie Pie stood inside with Richard on her back. "I found him!" the pink mare announced. "It smells awful in there!"

"How'd ya get-" Big Mac shook his head. "Never mind."

Lady Garden walked over and sniffed Pinkie Pie, then Richard. "I don't think they're gonna need a wash." the blue-maned mare anounced.

"Well, let's not waste time!" Pinkie Pie said happily. "Let's plan that party! I'm going to need somepony's nose when I bake, though. I think being in the Pooper for ten minutes knocked out my sniffer. I can't smell a thing!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Rarity finished embroiding a specific panel of fabric, she heard the jingle of a bell as somepony walked into her business. She heard a now-familiar voice call out, "Rarity, are you there?"

She then headed towards the front of her store, where she saw Hazelnut Latte carrying a lacquered box of some sort. "I brought something for you." the barista said with a smile.

Rarity's heart welled up as she smiled at the thoughtful Hazelnut Latte. She had known that things would go well when they decided to become friends. The happy fashionista sat down at a clear table. She used her magic to pick up a sushi roll and lift it to her mouth. She chewed it, swallowed it, and considered how delicious it was. It was then that her body realized how hungry she was. The white unicorn began to gobble down her food in an unladylike fashion before she was interrupted when Hazelnut Latte exclaimed, "Slow down, Rarity! Remember to chew your food!"

Rarity turned red with embarrassment. "Forgive me." she said awkwardly.

"It's not a problem, Rarity." Hazelnut Latte smiled at her friend. "It happens to everypony."

"I suppose so." Rarity smiled. She crinkled her nose and said, "Still, it's very unladylike!"

"I gave upon 'ladylike' ages ago." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin. "Marelike is a better word for me. Last time I used my feminine wiles to get what I want was in high school. There was this colt named Hot Bod. He was always being mean to everypony, especially me. He found out that I'm gay and he told everypony in the entire school about it."

"You must have been mortified!" Rarity gasped.

"Oh, I was." Hazelnut Latte nodded.

"What did you do?" Rarity asked.

Hazelnut Latte shrugged and replied, "I stole his marefriend."

Rarity stared at the brown-coated unicorn, her mouth wide open. She shut her mouth, opened it again, and repeated for a few seconds before it finally hit her and she burst into laughter. "That was horrible!" Rarity giggled.

"It was." Hazelnut Latte grinned. "It was still good revenge, though. We dated until we graduated. We ended up going to different colleges. She went to Coltifornia State University, Maneterey Bay and I went to San Franciscolt State University. We wrote each other letters for a while, but it didn't work out. It was an amicable split."

"You're a lesbian, then." Rarity observed. "Well, that doesn't really matter to me. You're the same pony you've always been and I hope that one day, you find the right mare to be your special somepony."

"I hope so." Hazelnut Latte said. She smiled and added, "I'm 27, so I have plenty of time to find her. Who knows? She could be somepony that I already know."

Rarity started blushing. "Right, of course. Who knows?"

Hazelnut Latte noticed her friend's flush and asked, "Rarity, are you okay? You seem kind of flushed. It is hot outside, I suppose. I could go to Cuppa Joe's and use my employee's discount to get you something to drink. We've recently started selling bubble tea as a summer item."

Rarity nodded. "I could take a break to get something to drink." she admitted.

"Well, let's go, then." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin.

The two mares then headed off to Cuppa Joe's to get something to drink.

oooooooooooooooo

When Rarity and Hazelnut Latte arrived, they saw that Lemongrass was working. When the two unicorns arrived at the counter, the yellow mare smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get you?"

"Bubble tea, please." Hazelnut Latte.

"Original or pomegranate?" Lemongrass asked.

"I'll have the pomegranate." Rarity said.

Hazelnut Latte nodded before turning her attention back to Lemongrass. "Pomegranate for her, original for me."

Lemongrass nodded and asked, "Would you like to use your employee discount?"

"Yes." Hazelnut Latte replied.

Lemongrass smiled and said, "Your drinks will be ready in a few minutes. Feel free to sit down."

Hazelnut Latte and Rarity both selected a booth to sit down at. "So, what sort of project are you working on, if I may ask?" the brown unicorn inquired.

"It's a very complicated dress." Rarity admitted. "I have two more days to complete it. I have to present it on Tuesday. I'll be able to finish it by then, but I'll be pushing the deadline."

"Well," Hazelnut Latte said, "I'll just make sure to bring you something to eat when my shift is over."

Rarity smiled brightly at her friend. "You're the absolute best, you know that?" the fashionista said to her friend.

"So I've been told." Hazelnut Latte smiled back.

They heard Lemongrass call that their drinks were ready. Hazelnut Latte went up to pay for the drinks before returning to the table with them. Rarity read the names written on the cups. "Elusive and Coconut Latte?"

Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "Cuppa Joe's business regulations state that employees must get at least one in three customers' names wrong when serving drinks that come in these sorts of cups."

Rarity frowned. "That's absolutely ridiculous. You know that, right?"

"I didn't make the rules." Hazelnut Latte said simply. She then smiled mischievously and added, "Besides, sometimes it's fun to mess with ponies."

Rarity rolled her eyes and said, "You're the worst, Hazelnut Latte!"

Hazelnut Latte grinned and said, "Yes. I'm completely evil- the destroyer of worlds, even! Thankfully, I'm reformed and now I only annoy ponies."

"Indeed." Rarity chuckled. "You're definitely the strangest reformed villain that Equestria has ever known."

On the other side of Ponyville, Discord suddenly sneezed. "Huh." he thought out loud. "That was weird."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After about fifteen minutes, the rest of Rarity's friends, sans Pinkie Pie, came in to get their own nice, cold drinks. "So," Rainbow Dash said, "Does this mean that since Rarity is friends with a barista here, we can get free drinks?"

Applejack scoffed and said, "That ain't how it works, Rainbow Dash." She looked at Hazelnut Latte. "Is it?"

"Only under special circumstances do ponies get free drinks." Hazelnut Latte replied. "I like you, Rainbow Dash, but I don't like you that much."

Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle. Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "Only you, Rainbow Dash, would try to take advantage of Rarity's friendship with Hazelnut Latte to get free coffee."

"I don't like coffee." Rainbow Dash corrected Twilight. "I actually like tea."

"What kind?" Twilight asked.

"Earl Grey." Rainbow Dash replied.

Twilight Sparkle's eyes widened as she smiled happily. "I love Earl Grey!"

Rainbow Dash and Twilight then proceeded to have a conversation about how wonderful Earl Grey tea was, including a history, which fascinated the cyan pegasus. It was strange since normally the weather pony didn't really care about history. Suddenly, the door burst open and Pinkie Pie charged in. "Pinkie Pie, are you okay?" Twilight asked. "It's really hot outside and you look like you've been running."

"You'd never believe what happened!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"What happened, Pinkie?" Applejack asked.

"I just saw Big Mac get his giant cock stuck in Lady Garden's Pooper!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Everypony was silent for ten long, long seconds before Applejack shouted, "He did WHAT?!"

"Hey, no shouting in the establishment!" Lemongrass scolded.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

"So this is the infamous Sugar Shock." Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.

"Yep." Sugar Shock replied. "Nice to meet you." The candy shop owner leaned back against the counter and took a sip of her Switcharoo Punch. "Since you're a celebrity and all, you can have one piece of candy for free."

Twilight looked around to see all the things for sale. "Chocolate Bon Bombs?" She saw some rather luscious-looking chocolates on a display.

"Yeah." Sugar Shock said before explaining. "They're 82% cacao with salted caramel and infused with-"

Twilight Sparkle used her magic to take one of the Bon Bombs and pop it into her mouth. She chewed once before her eyes went wide as she started gasping from the spice. Sugar Shock sighed and finished. "- sweet and spicy habanero jam."

Twilight looked for something, anything to quench the fire in her mouth. She spotted an open bottle of soda on the counter. It was labeled 'Switcharoo Punch'. The alicorn grabbed it and was bringing it up to her lips when Sugar Shock shouted, "Wait, don't drink that!"

Twilight did not heed the confectioner's words and still chugged down the soda. Suddenly, both ponies felt a tingling throughout their bodies, which centered on their flanks. Twilight looked at her own Cutie Mark, and then at Sugar Shock's. The princess, though she was rarely one to swear, couldn't help but say, "Oh shit."

Chapter 8: Pinkie and the Brain

It's a twofer this time!
ooooooooooooooooo

Rarity and Hazelnut latte quickly trotted down the path to Countess High Born's mansion in Canterlot. The white unicorn had finished the dress in time to take the train to Canterlot and she was at the Countess' front door, with still a few hours to spare. Rarity looked at Hazelnut Latte and said, "Thank you for coming here to lend your support. I absolutely know that Countess High Born will love the outfit, but there's always a teeny, tiny chance that I might be wrong. Countess High Born is known for being very critical of even the smallest error- not that she will find one!"

"I trust your work, Rares." Hazelnut Latte said with a reassuring smile. "I went to the Lacey Ruffles' School for Fillies and Countess High Born was a big patron of the school. I've heard of her. I've even met her!"

"You went to the Lacey Ruffles School for Fillies?" Rarity gasped. "That's only one of the best schools in Equestria for polishing wild, high-strung fillies into sophisticated young ladies! That's not even to mention the ordinary curriculum and how it's still one of the most academically successful private schools in Equestria!"

Hazelnut Latte blushed vividly and said, "It wasn't bad, I guess. I didn't graduate, from there, though. Don't worry, I didn't drop out. I was transferred to a public school for social reasons."

"What sort of social reasons would cause a filly to transfer out of the Lacey Ruffles School for Fillies?" Rarity asked, her eyes still wide with surprise.

"Well, in a public school, somepony is less likely to get picked on for having a Cutie Mark that isn't as 'sophisticated' as some of the other fillies' Cutie Marks at Lacey Ruffles." Hazelnut Latte scoffed. "Apparently, no matter how elaborate the designs I can make are, having a Cutie Mark in latte art isn't 'sophisticated' enough to be socially accepted there."

"Why, that's utterly ridiculous!" Rarity said with a frown.

"I know!" Hazelnut Latte replied. "One of the fillies got a Cutie Mark in flower arrangement. Another got a Cutie Mark in hosting fancy parties. There was also a filly whose special talent was writing sonnets. All are perfectly valid talents, but," Hazelnut Latte rolled her eyes at this. "there was a filly who got her Cutie Mark in, get this, sitting around and looking pretty."

Rarity's eyes widened. "You can get your Cutie Mark just for sitting around and looking pretty?"

"Yeah!" Hazelnut Latte replied. "Chaise Lounge was particularly snooty. The only friend I had there was Sous-Sus and she was a few years above me. She graduated when I was fifteen and she was eighteen. Sous-Sus' special talent was ballet. She lives in Manehattan, but we do write each other letters and occasionally visit on each other's birthdays. Sous-Sus invited me to visit her for my birthday when I turned 27."

Rarity let out a gasp and asked, "Is she part of the Manehattan Ballet?"

"Yep." Hazelnut Latte said with a smile. "Well, there was also Lilium, but she was too afraid of Chaise Lounge to hang out with me in public. She's the one who did flower arrangement."

The two went up the steps and walked across the front porch until they reached the door. Rarity took a deep, deep breath before knocking. A brown stallion with a salt and pepper mane and moustache answered the door. He was wearing a black suit and waistcoat with a white button-down shirt and a bowtie. In a crisp voice, the stallion asked, "May I help you?"

"I'm Rarity." Rarity introduced herself. "I'm here with the Countess' dress."

"Come in." the butler said.

The butler directed them inside to a place where they would wait. "If you'll excuse me," the butler said, "I'll request Countess High Born's presence."

"Don't take too long." Hazelnut Latte called out. "Can't keep the Countess waiting."

It was impossible to tell whether Hazelnut Latte was being sarcastic from the way she had spoken. Rarity shot her a quick glare and said, "Shush, you!"

After about a minute or so, a resplendently dressed sapphire unicorn mare with a butter-colored mane walked down the grand staircase to meet the other two mares. The butler gestured towards the new mare and said, "The Countess Highborn."

The Countess turned to the butler and said, "Thank you, Jeeves. That will be all."

"As you wish, milady." Jeeves replied before dismissing himself.

The Countess headed over to Rarity with an eager smile on her face and said, "I presume that you are here with my dress?"

"Of course!" Rarity replied happily.

Rarity used her magic to remove the dress and bolero jacket from her saddlebags. Thanks to magic, it was not the least bit wrinkled or out of sorts. The Countess walked over and inspected the outfit, looking at it from every angle. Rarity waited nervously until, finally, the Countess stepped back and said, "Your work is more than satisfactory, Rarity."

Rarity held back a sigh of relief. Instead, she said, "Thank you for your kind words, Countess."

The Countess then seemed to spot Hazelnut Latte. She looked at the brown mare with scrutiny, as if attempting to figure out where she had seen her before. Finally, it seemed to hit the Countess. "Ah!" the sapphire mare exclaimed. "I remember you! You went to school with my Lilium! Hazel something?"

"Hazelnut Latte, ma'am." Hazelnut Latte replied.

"Ah." the Countess said. She looked at Rarity, then at Hazelnut Latte. The noblemare smiled once more and said, "Well, I must say that I am more than satisfied with your work. As a symbol of my gratitude, I will extend an invitation to my Autumn Equinox Ball next month." She looked at Hazelnut Latte and added, "I'd like to invite you as well. I'm sure that my darling daughter would love to catch up with you."

"My sincerest thanks, Countess!" Hazelnut Latte grinned at the older mare.

"Oh, think nothing of it." the Countess waved her hoof as if to dismiss the barista's worries. She then smiled and said, "And please, call me High Born. If you're Lilium's Hazel, then you're practically family!"

"Thanks, Coun-" Hazelnut Latte corrected herself. "Thanks, High Born."

"You are most welcome." High Born said happily. She then turned to Rarity and said, "Well, Miss Rarity, I leave things in your capable hooves. I wish you both the best.

High Born sighed and said, "I hate to be a rude hostess, but I'm expecting other guests later and they are," She paused for a moment. "rather difficult, as you know. Chaise Lounge may be of fine blood, but a good bloodline doesn't necessarily make you a lady. I have no issue with your presence, but I recall Lilium telling me about your interactions with Chaise Lounge. I don't know if I'd be able to stop her from being, well, Chaise Lounge. That's why I'm asking you to go, so you don't have to endure that."

Hazelnut Latte smiled brightly and said, "Thank you, High Born. Lilium always said that you were really nice."

"Of course I'm nice." High Born chortled. "Where do you think that my darling Lilium gets it from?"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, anyway, Rarity and I will make ourselves scarce. I'd love to go to your Autumn Equinox Ball."

"Wonderful." High Born said happily. "Well, I wish you two young ladies the best day. I'll see you both at the Autumn Equinox Ball!"

After Rarity and Hazelnut Latte left, the door was closed behind them. It was only then that Hazelnut Latte turned to her friend, her eyes wide with panic. "Rarity, I have a problem."

"What is it, Hazelnut Latte?" Rarity asked, concern etched on her face.

Hazelnut Latte gulped audibly and said, "I don't have a formal gown."

Rarity smiled at her friend and said, "Well, Hazelnut Latte, you can just leave that to me!"

"Rarity, you don't have to do anything." Hazelnut Latte said awkwardly. "I mean, I can try to see if I can find another dress to wear."

"Nonsense!" Rarity exclaimed. "I'll make you a dress so lovely that you'll be the envy of everypony there!"

"All right." Hazelnut Latte said with a smile.

It was then that Pinkie Pie suddenly jumped out of a bush, causing Rarity and Hazelnut Latte to jump in surprise. "Hello!" the earth pony chirped.

"Pinkie Pie, you scared me half to death!" Rarity exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Well, an hour ago, I was helping Countess High Born plan for her ball!" Pinkie Pie replied. "Then she told me that she was done with me for the day 'cause she had guests coming soon and that one of them wouldn't care about my trip to Zebrica earlier this summer and would say that I have no brain. I mean, It could be true. Let me tell you the story!"

"I heard the drums echoing that night,
but I only hears whispers of quiet conversation.
I came in at the 12:30 flight.
The moonlit balloon reflected the stars that guide me towards salvation.
I stopped by an old stallion along the way,
Hoping to find some lost words or ancient melodies.
He turned to me as if to say,
"Hurry, girl, it's waiting for you!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to Rarity, who just smiled. This was not a new thing to her. Pinkie Pie continued to sing.

"It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I got some time to do the things I never had!

The wild dogs cried at night,
As they grew restless longing for some delicious cake.
I knew that I had to do what's right,
As sure as Celestia, every morning, knows the path the sun should take.
I ought to find the fun that's deep inside,
Unfrightended of what I have become.

It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I got some time to do the things I never had! Oh-uh!

"Hurry, girl, it's waiting there for you!"

It took a lot to drag me away from there.
Even a hundred stallions couldn't ever move this mare.
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I left my brain!
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I left my brain!
I left my brain down in Zebrica!
I left my brain down in Zebrica! I took some time!
I got some time to do the things I never had! Oh-uh!"

Hazelnut Latte stared at the pink earth pony for a few seconds before saying, "Anyway, I trust you when you say that you'll make a good dress. I doubt that I'll draw that much attention, though. Even in a beautiful dress, I'm not much to look at."

"Nonsense!" Rarity exclaimed. "You have lovely natural features. We just need to enhance them a little! We should start with not straightening those curls."

"I'll look like a bush!" Hazelnut Latte protested.

"Calm down, Hazelnut Latte." Rarity said reassuringly. "We'll just need to tame those curles, that's all. I have a few things that'll make those curls a bit looser and easier to manage."

Hazelnut Latte was silent for a moment before nodding. "All right. I'll leave it in your hooves." She chuckled and said, "Well, at least my sister won't be going. She can't be trusted around anything or anyone fancy, even if they're just a certain brainiac princess. I hope that things won't go wrong when they eventually do meet."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Twilight Sparkle entered Sugar Rush and the scent of various sweets filled her nose. She looked around and saw an assortment of edible goods in a wide variety of shapes, colors, and sizes. She then saw the pony she assumed to be the owner. She was a unicorn mare with a caramel colored coat, blue eyes, and an extremely curly chocolate-colored mane. The mare's Cutie Mark was a wrapped piece of candy with a lightning bolt on the wrapper. "So this is the infamous Sugar Shock." Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.

Twilight looked around to see all the things for sale. "Chocolate Bon Boms?" She saw some rather luscious-looking chocolates on a display.

"Yeah." Sugar Shock said before explaining. "They're 82% cacao with salted caramel and infused with-"

Twilight saw that the starbursts of her Cutie Mark had been replaced with lightning bolts and that the lightning bolt on Sugar Shock's piece of candy was replaced with one of her starbursts. The confectioner groaned and said, "I told you not to drink that!"

"What the hey just happened?!" Twilight gasped.

"When two different ponies drink Switcharoo Punch, it causes their Cutie Marks and a few of their abilities to switch." Sugar Shock explained. "So yeah, we're mixed up."

"Is there some sort of antidote?" Twilight asked.

"There is." Sugar Shock replies. "It just happens that I forgot to order some and I won't be able to get any for another sixty days."

"Great." Twilight groaned. "Just great."

"Well, you're a magical genius, aren't you?" Sugar Shock asked. "Can't you just come up with a spell?"

"It'll take some time, but I can do it." Twilight admitted.

"All right, then." Sugar Shock said decidedly. "By the way, while we're like this, you probably shouldn't drink an excess of caffeine. There's a reason why they call me Sugar Shock."

"What'll happen if I drink too much caffeine?" Twilight asked.

Sugar Shock sighed and replied, "I pray that you'll never find out."

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Everypony coughed from the smoke in the air and the odor of burnt fur. Sugar Shock glared at Twilight and said, "I told you not to drink too much caffeine!"

"Well, you should have told me what happens when you drink too much caffeine!" Twilight argued.

In the center of the cloud of smoke, there were still flashes of lightning. When they finally settled down, Discord finally spoke up. "I hate to agree with Twilight, but she's right."

The smoke faded and everypony gasped when they saw the change in Discord's appearance. The transformed chaos spirit frowned and asked, "What is everypony staring at? Do I have a booger or something?"

Chapter 9: Thunderbolt and Lightning, Very, Very Frightening

It had been a week since Twilight and Sugar Shock's, well, let's just call it a mishap. Twilight found her magic a bit less powerful than usual and Sugar Shock found her magic a bit stronger than usual. It seemed to have split between them. The lavender alicorn let out a frustrated sigh as she went through yet another book that provided absolutely no help. Switcharoo Punch was a very new invention, so it wasn't listed in any of her books. Because of this, there was no information on any spells that could reverse it. In the meantime, she'd had to help Sugar Shock run Sugar Rush. Now she had a feeling that the curly-maned unicorn might have been slightly insane. She had to be, considering some of the things she had created and was selling. One example was a variety of exploding candies that literally exploded- with flavor. There were also liquor-infused chocolates, spicy chocolates, salted pistachio brittle, alcohol-free tequila and habanero hard candies, gumballs with strange flavors like buttered popcorn, popping candy, sodas with strange flavors like pumpkin pie, strawberry jellies that looked like steaks, habanero jam, salted black licorice buttons, every concievable flavor of jelly beans, and much, much more. It was also a selling poing that all of the items being sold at Sugar Rush were 'lightning-proof'. What did that even mean?

So far, out of all of Twilight's close friends, only Fluttershy knew. The butter-colored pegasus was surprisingly good at keeping this kind of secret. Fluttershy had even started helping Twilight by locating books for her. The alicorn looked at the pegasus and smiled. "You've been a huge help, Fluttershy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Fluttershy hid her face behind her bangs and softly said, "It's not a big deal. It's what friends are for, right? Besides, I'm not that much help."

"This is going faster with your help, Fluttershy." Twilight said. "Spike wants to be helpful, but I think he's afraid of Sugar Shock ever since he tried some of those salty black licorice buttons. He thinks that only an evil, homicidally insane pony would make and sell something like that."

"That sounds horrible." Fluttershy said sympathetically. "I don't think that Sugar Shock is scary and I'm, well, me."

Spike quietly approached the two mares and asked, "Is she gone?"

"She's not here right now, Spike." Twilight said reassuringly. "If she was, I promise that I would never let her hurt you."

Spike smiled and said, "Thanks, Twilight."

It was then that Sugar Shock walked into the room. Spike's eyes widened more than anypony ever imagined was possible. He gulped audibly. The confectioner smiled at the dragon and said, "Hey, Spike. Feeling better?"

Spike, who had started to hyperventilate, suddenly shouted, "Please don't murder me and wear my skin as a mask!"

Sugar Shock seemed quite puzzled. "Wait, don't do what?"

Rather than responding, Spike ran away as quickly as his little legs could take him. Sugar Shock raised a brow and said, "That dragon has been reading too many M-rated horror comics. Twilight, you have to find the kid something more age-appropriate."

"He does have an over-active imagination." Twilight admitted. "I can't always control what he reads. I try, but somehow he manages to get his claws on them anyway."

"I won't touch those comics." Fluttershy said timidly. "Those comics are scary!"

Sugar Shock spotted the energy drink that Twilight had been sipping on. The brown mare laughed nervously and asked, "Twilight, how many of those have you had?"

"I'm halfway through my second." Twilight replied. "I don't feel the slightest bit jittery. Different ponies have different tolerances for caffeine."

"Just be careful, okay?" Sugar Shock said. "Trust me, you don't want to find out what happens if you've had too much caffeine."

Suddenly, Twilight's expression brightened. She pointed at a page in a book and said, "This might be it!"

"Cast the spell, then!" Sugar Shock exclaimed. "The worst it could do is not work, right?"

"True." Twilight replied. "Very true."

The alicorn then began to cast the spell. Suddenly, with a flash, Discord appeared. "Fluttershy, I need you to-"

On instinct, Twilight turned to look at the draconequus. She intended to stop the spell, but suddenly her eyes glowed white as she felt energy spiral through her. Before anypony could react, a powerful bolt of lightning shot towards Discord, hitting him directly. The room was filled with thick smoke. Everypony coughed from the smoke in the air and the odor of burnt fur. Sugar Shock glared at Twilight and said, "I told you not to drink too much caffeine!"

"Well, you should have told me what happens when you drink too much caffeine!" Twilight argued.

In the center of the cloud of smoke, there were still flashes of lightning. When they finally settled down, Discord finally spoke up. "I hate to agree with Twilight, but she's right."

The smoke faded and everypony gasped when they saw the change in Discord's appearance. The transformed chaos spirit frowned and asked, "What is everypony staring at? Do I have a booger or something?"

Fluttershy had turned bright red and refused to meet Discord's eyes. "You're a-" Twilight stammered. "You're a-"

"Come on, out with it!" Discord said impatiently.

"You're a fucking pony!" Sugar Shock exclaimed.

The transformed Discord had a fallow brown coat and black mane and tail with a bit of grey, which, along with a few wrinkles, made him appear... well, let's just use the phrase 'exceedingly middle-aged'. His eyes were no longer mismatched, but his irises were red. One thing that had not changed was his goatee. He had a Cutie Mark, which was a tilted bucket that was in the process of spilling. He was tall, almost as tall as Big Mac, but he wasn't as heavily built. He was tall and somewhat lanky and he had an appropriately sized pair of wings. Discord frowned and said, "You're joking, right? Normally the foalish, occasionally idiotic and sometimes a little mean jokes are my thing."

Discord lifted one wing, then the other, examining them. He then tried to change back, but nothing happened. His voice was surprisingly calm and even when he said, "Twilight. Dear Twilight Sparkle," He then raised his voice and shouted, "what in the name of chaos did you do to me?!"

"It looks like I've accidentally turned you into an ordinary pegaus." Twilight said, her voice filled with awe. "This is fascinating! Nothing like this has ever happened before!"

Discord huffed and said, "I'm glad you think so. Now change me back!"

"Give me a moment." Twilight replied.

The alicorn then looked down to see that a bit of stray lightning had scorched the book, leaving it completely unreadable. She looked back up at Discord and said, "I can't right now."

Discord groaned audibly. Twilight hastily added, "I'll come up with something to reverse your transformation, but it'll take me a while. I've never reversed a change as major as somepony completely changing their species. Until then, you'll have to get used to being a pony."

Discord groaned once more in frustration. He glanced over at Fluttershy and said, "As soon as this is over, I am going to unleash a wave of chaos that Equestria has never seen before. By that, I mean that I will fill Twilight's entire castle with poison joke. Just warning you so you won't come in when that does happen."

Fluttershy was blushing intensely and refused to meet Discord's eye. Despite his thin, lanky build, he made a fairly attractive stallion. The newly-changed stallion examined his wings once more and said, "Well, at least the wings are proportionate to my size and build."

"They look like good, strong wings." Fluttershy mumbled from behind her mane.

Discord grinned and said, "They do, don't they?"

The fallow stallion looked down at the mirror and said, "For a pony, I'm not that bad looking."

Though he had been transformed into a pony with no way of changing back unless Twilight found a spell that could do it, Discord was very grateful that he had at least transformed into a moderately attractive stallion. Though he tried not to pay it any heed, he had heard the comments that ponies made about his actual appearance and sometimes they affected him a bit. He wasn't a terribly attractive creature and he knew it. At least he wasn't a bad-looking pony. Suddenly, his stomach growled loudly. Twilight looked at him thoughtfully before turning to Fluttershy and asking, "Fluttershy, do you think you could take Discord out to eat?"

Fluttershy nodded and said, "Okay."

"I'll monitor Twilight's caffeine intake so she doesn't accidentally turn somepony else into a different species." Sugar Shock promised.

Discord grumbled under his breath as he followed Fluttershy out of the castle. It was going to be a long, long wait.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Discord walked at Fluttershy's side while making their way through Ponyville, he couldn't help but notice that he was not getting any strange looks. It was different, to say the least. He definitely had some traits from his true form, but there were a few things that weren't there. Why did he have to have the grey? Sure, he was ancient, but it didn't really show in his true form. He knew that he was old, but he rarely felt old. Now he looked like he could have been a pony in his early fifties. Well, he thought, on the bright side, nopony would harass her for hanging out with the draconequus and wouldn't make assumptions about their relationship. Unfortunately, instead of his species being a deterrent for Fluttershy's affections, his apparent age was. Wait, why was having a deterrent unfortunate? Unfortunately, his thoughts were interrupted when a certain thorn in his side appeared. "Hey, Fluttershy." Pretty Boy said with a smile.

"Oh." Fluttershy said. "Hello, Pretty Boy. I really don't want-"

"Before you dismiss me," Pretty Boy said with an earnest look on his face, "I'd like to say that I'm really, really sorry for the way I acted at the concert. Sometimes a stallion can make a fool of himself around a pretty mare."

"You weren't very nice." Fluttershy said with a frown.

"I won't deny that." Pretty Boy smiled at Fluttershy and asked, "Could you possibly forgive me?"

Fluttershy seemed to think about it for a while before she replied, "Okay, I forgive you. Just don't do it again, okay? I need you to be nice to my friends and respect my boundaries."

"I can do that." Pretty Boy nodded. "Maybe we can be friends now?"

Fluttershy nodded and said, "If you really mean what you said about being sorry, I could give you a chance."

Pretty Boy grinned broadly and said, "Thank you, Fluttershy. You won't regret it."

It was then that Pretty Boy seemed to notice Discord. "Oh, hey." He said with a smile. He turned to Fluttershy and said, "I didn't realize that your dad was visiting."

Discord couldn't help but flinch. Yes, he knew that he looked like he was old enough to be Fluttershy's father, but Pretty Boy really didn't need to point that out. Fluttershy flushed and said, "He's not my dad. He's an old friend. His name is..." She looked at Discord.

Discord smirked and said, "Roguish Jape is the name. Fluttershy and I go way back. The college she went to is my old alma mater."

Pretty Boy nodded. "She told me about it. She said that her dad went to the same college. If you're old college friends with Fluttershy's dad, that would explain why you two go back quite a ways."

Discord wished that he still had his chaos magic so he could summon a pink cloud and rain chocolate milk down on Pretty Boy. Instead, the greying stallion gave a false smile and said, "Yes, that's exactly it. I went to college with her father."

"Well, in any case, it's nice to meet you, Roguish Jape." Pretty Boy said with a smile. "If I'm to be friends with Fluttershy, I hope that we both get along very well."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Things had become slightly awkward for Fluttershy. She had spent enough time around Discord to read his moods fairly well and she could tell that the transformed draconequus was very uncomfortable about Pretty Boy bringing up how old he looked. Discord looked old enough to be her father, but he looked very good for a stallion who appeared to be in his fifties. In fact, Fluttershy thought as she tried to hide her blushing, she might even describe him as what Rarity would call a 'silver fox'. She didn't think that he was bad-looking in his true form, but this pony form was very easy on the eyes. The butter-colored mare looked at the two stallions and said, "I think everypony will get along as long as we're all nice to each other."

Pretty Boy nodded and said, "I've learned my lesson."

"I certainly hope you have." Discord said. "Fluttershy told me about the concert."

"It won't happen again, I promise." Pretty Boy said.

He sounded earnest, Fluttershy thought. "All right." she said softly. "Thank you for apologizing."

Discord seemed to be impatient. In a condescending voice, he said, "Well, that's all and lovely, but Fluttershy and I are going to go to lunch together."

"Right." Pretty Boy said, frowning at Discord. "I hope you two have a lovely lunch."

Discord smirked and said, "Oh, we will."

Pretty Boy gave Discord an odd look before turning to Fluttershy and saying, "Well, I hope that you two have a good lunch- you and Roguish Jape."

The earth pony stallion then turned and walked away. Fluttershy turned to Discord and asked, "What about that new cafe, the one with the cucumber sandwiches?"

Discord nodded and said, "I'll try. I don't like cucumbers in my normal body, but my tastes could have changed in this body."

"Well, they have chocolate milk." Fluttershy said with a smile.

Discord erupted into a grin and said, "Well, why didn't you say so? There's no time to waste!"

As they continued heading down the street, Fluttershy smiled again and said, "You seem eager."

Discord shrugged and replied, "What can I say? You had me at chocolate milk."

Fluttershy smiled again. The interaction with Pretty Boy seemed to have gone better than expected. Now she was taking Discord to a nice café. There would probably be chocolate milk and a salad involved. If she had any say in the way events would play out, she would try to make sure that Discord's first day as a pony went as well as it possibly could.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Hazelnut Latte stared at Twilight Sparkle and Sugar Shock. The barista's wide-eyed gaze lingered and was starting to make everypony uncomfortable. Finally, Hazelnut Latte spoke up. "Just what the fuck are you two doing?!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Sugar Shock said defensively. "It's not what you think!"

"I'm not gay!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. "It certainly looked like what I think it looked like."

"I was running and I fell on her!" Sugar Shock tried to persuade her sister.

"The floor was wet!" Twilight added.

"The floor was wet and you 'fell' on Twilight and you happened to land with your mouth on hers?" Hazelnut Latte seemed amused at this.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Sugar Shock argued. "The floor was really, really wet!"

Spike walked into the room. As he was walking, he spotted Hazelnut Latte and waved at her. "Hey, Hazel!"

Suddenly, Spike slipped and landed on his face. "Ow!" He groaned. "Stupid wet floor!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to look at the two mares. "Okay, so the floor was wet. Consider yourself two lucky ponies that I don't have a camera with me."

A cheerful, high-pitched voice suddenly said, "I do!"

Everypony turned to see Pinkie Pie aiming a camera at them. There was a bright flash and Sugar Shock, Hazelnut Latte, and Twilight were momentarily blinded. Oddly enough, a picture printed out from the camera. Pinkie Pie looked at the picture and sniffled. "Our Twilight, sharing her first kiss with the love of her life! She's finally growing up!"

Twilight shoved Sugar Shock off of her and shouted, "For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!"

Chapter 11: Mo' Crusaders, Mo' Problems

The girls quietly left, trying their best not to let anypony hear them. Once they were a safe distance away, Applejack groaned and buried her face in her hooves. "Ah really didn't need ta see that!"

Sugar Shock gave the farm pony a comforting pat on the back. "It could be worse." she said. "I've seen worse. At least you didn't walk in on your sibling and his marefriend fu-"

Applejack brought her hooves up to her ears and shouted, "LALALALALA! Ah'm not listenin'!"

Hazelnut Latte turned bright red as she glared at her twin. "I thought I heard something."

"I didn't need to see you and your marefriend doing that." Sugar Shock said with a frown. She shuddered and added, "Mine eyes have seen things that I cannot unsee..."

"Has anything like this happened to you, Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Nope." Twilight replied. "My parents always taught me the value of knocking."

Applejack looked at the other girls, one at a time. She then said, "Ah need y'all to promise me somethin'."

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Ah need y'all to promise that what we seen stays between us." Applejack said solumnly. "We can't tell nopony, especially Granny Smith."

"Why can't your grandmother know?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"She's kind of... traditional." Applejack explained. "Lady Garden has been a widow fer less than two years. It wouldn't be proper fer her ta move on so quickly."

"Applejack, we're talking about someone who smokes cigars and can spit a distance of up to twenty feet." Hazelnut Latte deadpanned.

"She's traditional about matters of romance." Applejack said. "She thinks that five years is an appropriate time fer mournin'. She doesn't believe in divorce 'less there's repeated cheatin' involved. She-"

Applejack paused awkwardly. In a soft, gentle voice, Fluttershy asked, "Is she one of those ponies who believes that marriage is between a mare and a stallion?"

"Yeah." Applejack said. "She ain't the type ta be mean about it, but she'll voice her disapproval in private. I ain't closely acquainted with Onda Rocks, but ah know that it took her five years ta convince Granny Smith to stop tryin' ta set her up with a bunch 'o stallions, includin' Big Mac. Now she just comments every now an' then 'bout how it's a shame that a pretty mare like Onda is wastin' herself on another mare. Everypony knows that the zony has a special somepony, but nopony knows who that special somepony is."

"Forever a mystery!" Pikie Pie exclaimed at the top of her voice.

The sound of surprised voices coming from inside the house could be heard. Shortly afterwards, it was followed by the sound of approaching hoofsteps. Moments later, Lady Garden and Big Macintosh stuck their heads out the door. Applejack turned to Pinkie and snapped, "Gosh darnit, Pinkie what did ya hafta do that for?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Sorry!"

There was an awkward silence before the blue-maned mare said, "Ya saw us, didn't ya?"

Applejack paused for a moment before replying, "Yeah."

"We won't tell anypony!" Twilight reassured the couple.

"'Preciate that." Big Macintosh said.

"How long has this been going on?" Applejack asked.

"'Bout two weeks." Lady Garden replied.

"To be honest, it's not that surprising to see you and Big Mac together, Lady Garden." Twilight admitted.

"Y'all can call me Firefly Flicker." The blue-maned mare said. "Really an' truthfully, I ain't been Lady Garden in almost two years."

Applejack nodded. "If the two of ya are happy, ah kin give ya mah blessin'. You an' Mac are thirty-four years old. Yer adults. Ya can make yer own decisions."

"'Preciate it." Big Macintosh said with a nod.

"Yer the best, Applejack." Firefly Flicker grinned broadly.

"If it's settled, let's get some apple pie!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

The rest of the group nodded. "Ah'll git the hard cider out, too." Applejack said with a smerk. "Ain't every day that yer brother finally realizes that his best friend o' twenty-six years is his special somepony."

Big Macintosh and Firefly Flicker both blushed vividly but still smiled. It seemed like for the forseeable future, things would go just fine.

oooooooooooooooooooo

The Next Day

It was a lovely morning and Hazelnut Latte and Sugar Shock were both at work. Fortunately, Cocoa Jinx could still hang out with her good friends, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The minty green unicorn smiled and said, "You're really going to let me into your club?"

"You'd definitely make a good Crusader." Scootaloo affirmed.

"If you find your Cutie Mark before we do, you can help us find ours!" Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

The trio of fillies looked over at the two older mares that were supposed to be keeping an eye on them. Rainbow Dash and Rarity were deep in an argument about who was better, Beethoofen or Mozheart. No one had expected the rainbow-maned pegasus to be into classical music. It turns out that Rainbow Dash's dad had made her take piano lessons as a filly and she had gotten pretty good at it. Still, no matter how much anypony pleaded, she would not play for them. Sweetie Belle turned to Cocoa Jinx and asked, "Have you tried getting your Cutie Mark in playing the piano?"

"I tried back in San Franciscolt, but I was never any good at it." Cocoa Jinx admitted.

"Maybe it has something to do with magic?" Scootaloo suggested. "I mean, you are a unicorn."

"Do you think I should try something?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle said with a grin. "Try to cast a spell."

"I'm not really good at picking up magic, but I can try." Cocoa Jinx said.

The unicorn filly closed her eyes and concentrated, trying her best to cast a spell. Her horn glowed with a green aura, trying to draw upon her pool of magic. A dozen yards away, Reverend Bookburner, who was following a rather annoyed Onda Rocks, suddenly tripped over a cobblestone and fell on his face. The glow on Cocoa Jinx's horn faded as she opened her eyes. She shook her head and said, "Nothing happened."

"Try again." Sweetie Belle suggested.

Once again, Cocoa Jinx attempted to cast a spell. Lyra Heartstrings, who was about twenty feet away, stopped and looked at the ground. She used her magic to pick up a bit that she had found on the ground. She put it in her money bag before heading off to find Bon Bon. Cocoa Jinx frowned and said, "Nothing happened."

"Keep trying." Scootaloo said supportively. "Something is bound to happen!"

Cocoa Jinx tried yet again to cast a spell. Across the street from the cafe where they were seated with their milkshakes, someone dumped their bath water out the second floor window, drenching Caramel, who was on the street below the window. Cocoa Jinx let out a frustrated growl. "Why isn't anything happening?"

"Maybe it's a subtle thing?" Sweetie Belle said. "I mean, sometimes special talents are subtle."

For the fourth time, Cocoa Jinx made another attempt. In Doctor Whooves' nearby house, an explosion blasted the inhabitant out the door, sending him flying into Ditzy Doo. They were tangled with each other and when they separated, they were nose to nose. "Well, that just happened." the Doctor said awkwardly.

"Yeah." Ditzy giggled. "Are you hurt?"

"No." the Doctor replied. "I need to clean up a mess, though."

"Maybe I could help you?" Ditzy suggested.

"You don't need to, but I'd appreciate it." the scientist pony said with a smile.

"Well, let's go, then!" Ditzy said, returning the grin.

It was then that the two seemed to realize that they were almost nose to nose. The Doctor cleared his throat, "Say, Ditzy." he said.

"What is it?" Ditzy asked.

"After we finish cleaning up, would you like to stay a bit for tea?" the earth pony asked.

Ditzy smiled and replied, "I would love that."

The Doctor took a step back and grinned broadly. "I look forward to having tea and a good conversation with a mare as beautifu- ah, intelligent as yourself."

Ditzy turned away, blushing. "I'm not really that smart. You're the smart one. Good looks and brains."

The scientist frowned and said, "Don't put yourself down, Ditzy. I've met Dead Beat and I can assure you that Dinky doesn't get her intellect from him!"

Ditzy, still blushing, said, "If you say so. Now, let's go clean up and have that tea."

The pegasus mare turned to head for the earth pony's house. "It's a date, then!" the Doctor exlaimed. "To the house! Allons-y!"

The three fillies were oblivious to the potential beginnings of a romance that had happened nearby. "Still nothing?" Scootaloo questioned.

"Still nothing." Cocoa Jinx affirmed. "I'll give it one more try."

Thirty seconds later, a nearby unicorn stallion, who was scraping something off of a piece of paper that he had bought at the general store at the moment Cocoa Jinx tried to cast a spell spell suddenly shouted, "I won!"

"What did you win?" a pegasus stallion sitting next to him asked.

"It's a winning card!" the unicorn exclaimed. "I just won 500 bits!"

The three fillies couldn't help but overhear this. "Good for him." Scootaloo said.

"If it was me, I'd spend it on candy." Sweetie Belle said.

"Too bad we're too young to buy lottery cards." Cocoa Jinx said with a sigh. "I don't think I'll win, though. I can't cast a spell right, so I probably won't be able to pick out the right card, either."

"Want to give it another try?" Scootaloo asked.

"One more try." Cocoa Jinx agreed.

Giving it one last try for the day, the mint-green filly attempted to cast a spell. A few feet away, a black cat crossed Mr. Cakes' path. Seconds later, he was struck by an errant bolt of lightning. Thankfully, he was not severely injured. A weather pony who was working nearby shouted, "Sorry!"

"Hey, Cocoa Jinx." Sweetie Belle said. "Wouldn't it be interesting if your special talent was causing other ponies' luck to change?"

Cocoa Jinx scoffed and said, "Yeah, like that's possible!"

"Well, we could see if one of us can get a Cutie Mark in not getting brain freeze." Scootaloo suggested.

"Cutie Mark Crusader not-getting-brain freeze adventure!" the three fillies exclaimed at the same time.

The trio tried to slurp down their milkshakes as quickly as they could. When they were finished, they brought their hooves to their faces with groans of pain. Nearby, Rainbow Dash shook her head and said, "Kids."

"They could be trying worse things." Rarity said with a smile. "Remember Ditzy Doo's older brother, Doobie Doo?"

"It's hard to get a job with a pot leaf as your Cutie Mark." Rainbow Dash agreed. "Then he opened that head shop in Canterlot. Not that I've been there. I've heard from a second-hoof source."

"Let me guess." Rarity said. "It was Tree Hugger, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash replied. "It was Tree Hugger. I'm pretty sure that she's more marijuana than pony by now."

"If that wasn't physically impossible, I'd have to agree with you." Rarity said with a nod.

Rarity glanced over her shoulder before turning her attention back to Rainbow Dash. "So, Ditzy Doo and the Doctor, then? How long do you think it will be before they officially become an item?"

"Oh, that depends." Rainbow Dash said with a broad grin. "How much are you willing to bet?"

Author's Note

I didn't like the whole "Cutie Mark in helping other ponies find their Cutie Mark" thing. I thought it was a cop-out, so I refuse to acknowledge it. I'm sorry for making the chapter so short, but I'm having trouble coming up with more content for this chapter and I want to move things along.

A scene from the next chapter:

"I can't believe that you haven't heard of him." Discord said with a sigh.

"Who?" Pretty Boy asked.

"David Bronie." Discord replied.

"Who's David Bronie?" Fluttershy asked.

"You know, David Bronie?" Discord replied. "Ziggy Stardust? Space Oddity? Changes?"

Fluttershy's eyes widened when she realized who Discord was talking about. "Oh, that David Bronie!"

"Right." Pretty Boy affirmed. "Now I know who you're talking about, Roguish Jape. That was probably more of something from your time, with you being old enough to be Fluttershy's dad and all."

Discord had to hold back a groan. Why did Pretty boy have to insist on constantly bringing up his apparent age?

Chapter 12: Over the Hill

This is where the story gets an M-rating for implied, non-graphic sexings.

oooooooooooooooooo

Two Weeks Before the Autumn Equinox Ball

It was a quiet, quiet day, which was good considering what day it was. It was Hazelnut Latte and Sugar Shock's birthday. That was why a small group of friends had been invited to a little get-together. No one had to bring presents. It was just hanging out at Whiskey Neat's bar, the Hung Horseshoe. The twins and their friends sat at a table with their drinks. Hazelnut Latte looked at Rainbow Dash and said, "Glad you found somepony to watch Scootaloo."

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash affirmed. "She, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Cocoa Jinx are probably going to drive Applejack crazy during their sleepover."

"As much as I hate to say it, I rather agree with that assessment." Rarity said before sipping her Manehattan.

"I have to say that I'm surprised that they can make a Manehattan here." Sugar Shock admitted.

"Oh, yeah." Rainbow Dash said with a grin. "Whiskey Neat can make just about anything with whiskey in it. Fluttershy, do you remember Creamcicle's bachelorette party when Bulk Biceps showed up? Never expected you, of all ponies, to be able to drink a stallion that size under the table."

Fluttershy said nothing and hid behind her forelocks. Discord looked at the mare, obviously quite curious. Of course he was there. Where Fluttershy went, Discord inevitably followed. "Either you're saying that Bulk Biceps is a complete lightweight, or..."

"Fluttershy can hold her liquor better than anypony I've ever met." Rainbow Dash answered.

"I didn't drink that much." Fluttershy said softly.

"Fluttershy, you drank so many shots that Whiskey Neat gave you a drink on the house the next time you visited out of sheer amazement." Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

"Well, it seems that our dear Fluttershy is full of surprises." Discord said with a smirk.

The door to the bar opened and another pony stepped in. Discord held back a groan when he saw that it was Pretty Boy. The handsome earth pony grinned when he spotted Fluttershy. "Fluttershy!" He exclaimed.

"Hello, Pretty Boy." Fluttershy said softly.

Pretty Boy approached and sat down in an empty chair at the table. "You ponies don't mind if I sit here, do you?"

"No." Discord said with thinly-veiled sarcasm. "Not at all."

A waitress walked past and Pretty Boy flagged her down. "I'll have a whiskey sour."

The waitress nodded and left to deliver the handsome stallion's order. "So." Rarity said with a smile. "You must be Fluttershy's friend, Pretty Boy. Am I to assume that you are acquainted with Roguish Jape as well?"

"We've hung out a bit." Pretty Boy replied. "So, what's the occasion?"

"It's the twins' birthday." Rainbow Dash answered.

"I assume from the lack of a certain pink mare that she didn't plan this party." Pretty Boy observed.

"I've lived here for over a year and I've managed to keep me and Sugar Shock's birthday a secret from Pinkie Pie." Hazelnut Latte explained.

"Is it that bad?" Sugar Shock questioned.

"Do you remember what happened when you first moved to Ponyville and Pinkie Pie threw you a party?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"She nearly blew up my house." Sugar Shock sighed.

"Indeed." Discord said. "A massive cake, luridly colored streamers, low-power explosives, a bathtub full of gelatin, and David Bronie music playing on full blast."

"Who's David Bronie?" Pretty Boy asked.

"I can't believe that you haven't heard of him." Discord said with a sigh.

"Who?" Pretty Boy asked.

"David Bronie." Discord replied.

"Who's David Bronie?" Fluttershy asked.

"You know, David Bronie?" Discord replied. "Ziggy Stardust? Space Oddity? Changes?"

Fluttershy's eyes widened when she realized who Discord was talking about. "Oh, that David Bronie!"

"Right." Pretty Boy affirmed. "Now I know who you're talking about, Roguish Jape. That was probably more of something from your time, with you being old enough to be Fluttershy's dad and all."

Discord had to hold back a groan. Why did Pretty boy have to insist on constantly bringing up his apparent age? "Who cares if he used to party with Fluttershy's dad back in the day?" Sugar Shock asked. "Jape can party now and that's what matters."

"He's only had soda tonight." Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Between dear Fluttershy and I, somepony has to make sure that you all get home safely." Discord said, placing his hoof on his chest dramatically. "Goodness forbid you all fall off a bridge and into some sort of chasm."

"Roguish Jape, darling," Rarity said with a roll of her eyes. "there aren't any chasms in Ponyville."

"Semantics!" Discord waved a hoof dismissively.

Pretty Boy nodded before turning to Fluttershy. "Why are you here? You don't strike me as the type to frequent bars."

"Well, they know me here." Fluttershy said with a smile. "It's nice to be where ponies know and understand you."

"What do you mean?" Pretty Boy asked.

Fluttershy took a deep breath and began to sing her explanation.

"Making my way in Ponyville today takese everything I've got.
Taking a break from all my worries sure would help a lot.
I think I would like to get away.

All those nights when I've got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And my bunny, Angel, hung my friend up by his tail."

Discord huffed in annoyance. "It only happened once."

"And the pizza mare didn't show;

Sometimes I wanna go
Where everypony knows my name,
And they're always glad I came.
I want to be where I can see,
Our troubles are all the same.
I want to be where everypony knows my name.

Roll out of bed; my teapot broke.
The morning's looking bright,
And my mom ran off to Scoltland,
And didn't even write.
And my brother wants to be a mare...

I'm glad there's one place in the world
Where everypony knows my name,
And they're always glad I came.
I want to go where ponies know,
Ponies are all the same.
I want to go where everypony knows my name."

As the music built, Hazelnut Latte and Sugar Shock searched for its source, but none was to be found. The instrumental bits seemed to be coming out of nowhere.

"Where everypony knows my name,
And they're always glad I came.
Where everypony knows my name,
And they're always glad I came.
Where everypony knows my name,
And they're always glad I came..."

There was a brief silence before somepony spoke. "Well," Pretty Boy said, "I suppose that makes sense."

Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle burst into the bar. "Girls, you don't need to worry. Pinkie Pie is busy counting her collection of random, assorted shiny things."

"That calls for a celebration!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. She turned to look at the bar and said, "Say, Whiskey Neat, do you have anything special to celebrate this occasion? I'm buying!"

Whiskey Neat nodded and reached under the bar to pull out a flask of green liquid. Twilight Sparkle cocked her head and asked, "What's that?"

"Oh, it's just the stuff that my mom, Absinthe, makes." Whiskey Neat replied.

"Well, pour us a round, then!" Hazelnut Latte exclaimed.

Sugar Shock looked at Fluttershy and Discord and asked, "What about you two? It's not every day we get to try Miss Absinthe's brew."

There was a brief silence before Discord placed his hoof on the table and said, "Oh, why not? Count me in!"

Flutterhy smiled and said, "Me, too."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Slowly, Discord became aware of something soft on his chest, which happened to wet. He opened his eyes and saw Fluttershy sleeping soundly. Her head was resting on his chest and her mouth was ajar and drooling on the stallion's chest. There was the sound of a rooster crowing outside and Discord scrunched his eyes shut as it aggrivated his headache. This was why he never drank. He always had the worst headaches when he was hung over. To make things worse, he really, really had to pee. He reluctantly nudged the sleeping mare. "Fluttershy."

Fluttershy's eyes flickered open as she raised her head. She looked at Discord and asked, "What happened?"

"I'm not sure." Discord admitted. "There was absinthe- a lot of absinthe. Now we're here and I really, really need to go to the bathroom."

"Oh!" Fluttershy said. "Sorry!"

The mare then climbed off of him. Discored slowly sat up from the couch and he could feel his joints creaking when he got up. Damn this aging body. He made his way over to the bathroom as quickly as a hung over, slightly arthritic stallion who had spent the night in an awkward position on a couch could. He quickly took care of business, making sure to wash his hooves when he was done. He then headed back to the living room. Fluttershy was perched on the couch, looking at him with concern. Her mane was a bit messy, in the most alluring manner possible. Alluring? Where did that come from? The mare yawned and, because yawning is contagious, the stallion yawned as well. He licked his lips and quickly noticed the familiar taste of Fluttershy's favorite cherry lip balm. "Huh." he commented. "Cherry lip balm."

He must have borrowed it again. He would never, ever admit it. Even he wasn't immune to dry, chapped lips. Apparently, that crossed over to his pony-ness. Thank all that is good for the wonderous invention that is lip balm! He looked at Fluttershy and noticed the intense blush on her face and that she was refusing to look at him. "What?" Discord questioned.

"Nothing!" Fluttershy squeaked, hiding her face behind her forelocks.

It was just then that Celestia finished rising the sun and the light made its way through the windows. The sunlight got in Fluttershy's eyes, causing her to cover her eyes with a snake-like hiss. Discord grimaced as the pounding in his head got worse. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Fluttershy said softly.

Discord, of course, followed her. The butter-hued mare opened the door to reveal a now-familiar zebra. "Goodmorning to you, Fluttershy." Zecora said. "Surely you must hurt while the sun is high."

"Hello, Zecora." Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Yes, it's delightful to see you." Discord snarked.

Zecora nodded and said, "Good morning to you as well, Roguish Jape."

The zebra removed a bag of herbs from her saddle bag and set down in front of Fluttershy. "A hangover is something that you two can't escape."

"How did you know that we'd be hung over?" Discord asked.

"You passed by my home. It could not be debated." Zecora replied. "You both were clearly intoxicated. I knew what course your actions would take, so I gathered some herbs to help with your ache."

"Oh, thank you, Zecora!" Fluttershy said with a smile.

"I included some items that can be selected, so when you frolic together, you will be protected." Zecora winked at the two ponies.

"Um... thank you?" A puzzled Fluttershy responded.

Discord had to hold a groan. Why in the name of chaos was everypony convinced that it was inevitable that he and Fluttershy eventually sleep together? It wasn't in the literal sense, either. It was in the more adult sense. He would never touch Fluttershy that way, especially not while she was drunk! He may be a creature of chaos, but he wasn't a complete monster! "Today I have much work to do." Zecora said before nodding her head. "I must leave now and bid you adieu."

"Have a nice day, Zecora." Fluttershy said.

The zebra then turned and left. Fluttershy closed the door and turned to look at Discord, who had picked up the bag of herbs. "Can you prepare Zecora's herbs?" she asked. "I need to take a shower."

"Why, dear Fluttershy, I'd be happy to." Discord set the bag down and said smoothly.

Fluttershy turned a little pink before hurrying off to the shower. Discord picked the bag back up and carried it to the kitchen. He set the bag down on the counter and opened it. Inside was a bundle of herbs, some instructions, and a box of condoms. The pegasus stallion turned red and opened the drawer under the counter that contained some bottles of lubricants. Also in the drawer were a small, curved, club-like object made of a magical substance called silicone and a little pink tube-like device that vibrated when activated. For as long as he had lived with her, he had never seen her open the drawer. He quickly put the box of condoms in that drawer and quietly shut it. He then started reading the instructions for the herbs. Okay, he was to make a tea. He got Fluttershy's tea kettle out, filled it with water, and put it on the stove. By the time the kettle had started to whistle, Fluttershy had entered the kitchen. She was clean and only slightly damp. Discord got the spare teapot out and proceeded to make the tea. The herbs would make four cups of tea. Fifteen minutes later, both ponies were at the table, each sipping from their own cup of steaming liquid. Fluttershy looked up at Discord and asked, "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." Discord replied. "After another cup, I'll be back to my old self. Well, not literally."

He wished that he was his old self again. He didn't have to deal with that pesky arthritis in his true form. "This form isn't that bad." Fluttershy commented quietly.

"I didn't have to deal with this pesky arthritis then." Discord griped. "I look like I'm in my mid-fifties. Why did I have to become an old pony?"

"Well, your new body isn't really old." Fluttershy said reassuringly. "More like significantly middle-aged."

"Old, middle aged, whatever." Discord replied. "When I'm back to my old self, Twilight is going to pay."

"Discord..." Fluttershy said with a subtle, almost imperceptible note of warning in her voice.

"I won't do anything to hurt her. You know that I won't." Discord said. "There's all kinds of chaos that I could do that wouldn't cause actual harm."

"You could organize her library using Dewdrop's Decimal System." Fluttershy suggested.

"Organize?" Discord scoffed. "My dear, I am a creature of chaos. Organizing something is hardly chaotic."

"Twilight has a system where everything is out of order, but she knows where it is. If you organize it according to the Dewdrop Decimal System, which she is unfamiliar with, it'll take her forever to find anything." Fluttershy clarified.

Discord pondered it for a moment before his face split into a wicked grin. "Why Fluttershy, if I didn't know better, one might think that you were an evil genius."

Fluttershy lifted her cup and sipped from it. She swallowed her tea and quietly said, "I'm not a genius."

"Fluttershy, you are one of the few ponies that I can complement without being fecetious." Discord said with a sincere smile. "Your Dewdrop Decimal System idea was rather unorthodox, but the idea of order as a means to create chaos is intriguing."

To be quite honest, he was rather proud of her for coming up with such an interesting method for Twilight's chaos-fueled punishment. He realized that it was not smart to give Fluttershy a reason to want revenge. No one would ever see her coming. Fortunately, Fluttershy was eternally forgiving. He didn't really need to bring up the worst of his screw-ups. He had woken up cuddling with Fluttershy, which he wouldn't do in front of anypony else. At least he wasn't in a truly compromising position. He could only imagine what sort of things would happen to somepony else who got drunk with a pretty friend- yes, he would admit to himself that Fluttershy was, indeed, pretty. It still didn't change the fact that he didn't sleep with her. What kind of pony would sleep with a friend while drunk anyway?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Twilight was slowly brought back to consciousness by a pounding headache and severe nausea. She could feel warm breath against her throat. The alicorn opened her eyes and saw a pair of black cat-frame glasses on her night stand. She had seen those glasses enough to know who they belonged to. Slowly, Twilight looked down to see an extremely curly, chocolate brown mane. Said mane was attached to a mare with a caramel colored coat and the mare's current cutie mark was a piece of wrapped hard candy with a starburst on it. The alicorn clenched her eyes shut and tried to convince herself that nothing had happened, but she felt kind of sticky and she could still smell that blueberry flavored lubricant that she had bought in Manehatten- in disguise, of course- but never used. She knew what she had done and who she had done it with. She had done the nasty with Sugar Shock.

Carefully, Twilight looked around to see that she wasn't in her castle. She was in a room filled with posters with various metal bands depicted on them. There were also horror-themed graphic novels, a radio, some manga, a typewriter, several figurines, some incense, and a copy of Horny for Her: A Unicorn's Guide to Lesbian Sexuality. Slowly, carefully, Twilight made her way out of bed. She froze when Sugar Shock mumbled and began to stir, but the brunette mumbled something and rolled over before sinking back into dreamland. Twilight exhaled softly in relief. She saw her satchel on the floor and picked it up. She wasn't sure why she did it, but she used her magic to pick up Horny for Her and put it in her satchel. She then quietly made her way out of Sugar Shock's apartment, locking the door behind her.

Twilight knew that her mane was a mess as she made her way down the halls. Everything about her screamed 'I got laid last night' and she wanted to get out of here without anypony seeing her. Last night had been a night of firsts for her. She had never drank absinthe before. She'd never gotten drunk at all before. She had never been with a mare before. She had never been with anypony before. She had lost her virginity to another mare. Another mare. She had lost her virginity to Sugar Shock. Of all mares, why did it have to be Sugar Shock? Now she was going on her very first walk of shame. After doing the nasty with a mare. Why was it another mare? She wasn't gay. She absolutely wasn't gay. It was drunken experimentation. Who hadn't done that at some point? The prolonged presence and growing feelings of platonic affection couldn't possibly have led to some sort of sexual attraction that she didn't know about. Nope. With a sigh, Twilight made her way down the stairs until she reached the first floor and exited the building. To her relief, nopony was around. She decided to take an indirect route to her castle instead of heading straight through town.

When she arrived at her castle, she took the little-known back entrance. She needed a shower. She heard the sound of Spike humming, followed by the flipping of a comic book's pages. The alicorn quietly hurried past the room before heading to the master bathroom. She turned the settings on the shower to her preferred temperature and waited for it to heat up. She tried not to think about what had happened last night. When she finally got into the shower, she let out a sigh as the warm water washed the remnants of last night off of her. When she started washing her mane, the memories of the night before slowly trickled back into her skull. There had been gross misuse of Sugar Shock's shower last night. Things had happened. Things had happened all over Sugar Shock's apartment. Some of it was a blur, but she remembered enough to know that she had enjoyed herself very much and that it would most likely be very difficult for her to look Sugar Shock in the eye after this. She just had to wait a couple more months. Well, unless Starlight Glimmer came back early from her four-month vacation in Zebrica. If one of the twins had gone through something awkward, she wondered what the other one had gone through.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hazelnut Latte had been awake for several hours. Surprisingly, her hangover was fairly mild. She was on her couch reading The Art of Swearing. It wasn't as long or as detailed as The Encyclopedia of Swear Words, but it was still an interesting read. She could feel Cocoa Jinx snuggling into her side, also reading a book. The book that the unicorn filly was reading was Candle Making for Complete Morons. Making candles wasn't Cocoa Jinx's special talent, but it was still something that she enjoyed. Hazelnut Latte knew that her little sister would discover her special talent one day. Hopefully, it would not be something useless like Chaise Lounge's talent- or worse, something like the special talent of a colt she knew back in San Franciscolt. Windbreaker was deeply ashamed of his special talent which was, well, let's just say that it had nothing to do with jackets. The stallion could clear a room in thirty seconds flat. Poor, poor Windbreaker. He did make jackets for a living, though. He was pretty good at it, too. Cocoa Jinx let out a sigh and looked up at her sister. "Hazel?"

"What is it, Cocoa Jinx?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Can we make candles next weekend?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

"Next weekend. Definitely. You can't do it tonight, obviously, because you go back to school tomorrow." Hazelnut Latte responded.

"Oh, yeah." Cocoa Jinx said with a grin. "Maybe then I'll get my Cutie Mark!"

Hazelnut Latte laughed and ruffled her sister's mane. "You go get 'em, kiddo!"

"Foolish nonbeliever!" Cocoa Jinx said in an attempt at a deep voice. "You dare ruffle the mane of the Avatar of Entropy?"

"I dare." Hazelnut Latte chuckled. "Now, Avatar of Entropy, it's time to get up so I can make breakfast."

"Ooh!" Cocoa Jinx said excitedly. "Can we have chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Oh, sure, why not?" Hazelnut Latte said with a chuckle.

"Yay!" Cocoa Jinx squealed, rushing off to the kitchen.

Hazelnut Latte threw her head back and laughed. Still chuckling, she made her way to the kitchen to start breakfast. As she mixed the pancake batter, she smiled at how content she was with her life in Ponyville, even as a single parent to her sister. It was just another day in the inane adventures of Hazelnut Latte.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

"Heathens!" Reverend Bookbinder bellowed. "How dare you flaunt your promiscuity in public!"

Ditzy Doo groaned audibly in annoyance. The Doctor turned to look at her and asked, "Is this bloke serious?"

"I'm afraid so." Ditzy sighed. "Reverend Bookbinder, can you please not do this? I'm on a date."

"Of course you would be associating with this impotent madman who makes blasphemous machines!" Bookbinder snarled.

"Madman?" Ditzy gasped.

"I won't deny the madman thing," the Doctor said with a frown, "but my machines are not 'blasphemous' and I resent that jab at my potency."

Chapter 13: The Autumn Equinox Ball

Ditzy Doo and the Doctor walked up the path to the High Born Manor. The grey mare was wearing a lovely burgundy gown with a matching capelet and a fascinator decorated her blonde mane, which was up in a chignon. The fascinator had a little black mesh and a rose. Around her neck was a choker with a cameo. Instead of the profile of a pony, the cameo had a wolf on it. The Doctor was wearing a brown pinstriped jacket with a button-down shirt and a nice necktie. Ditzy looked at her date and asked, "How did you get an invite to Countess High Born's Autumn Equinox Ball?"

"Well, I'm not really sure." the Doctor admitted. "The Countess said in her letter that a strange bowtied stallion said to invite me."

"Really?" Ditzy replied. "That was convenient. It's good that the bowtied pony convinced her to invite you in these past few months."

"Actually, that's the strange thing." the Doctor explained. "The bowtied stallion told her to invite me this year, but when he told her it was thirty years ago. I didn't even live in Ponyville back then and I had never even met the Countess."

Ditzy raised a brow. "That is strange!"

"Thirty years ago is a bit of a blur for me." the Doctor admitted. "I was but a colt, but for some reason I don't remember much of my foalhood."

"Maybe you're an alien from outer space disguised as a pony?" Ditzy suggested jokingly.

The Doctor laughed and said, "Yeah, as if that were true. The next thing you're going to tell me is that time travel is possible!"

Ditzy giggled and nudged the earth pony. "I hope we have fun at the party. Let's see if the couples' dancing lessons from school paid off at all."

"Why Ditzy Doo, nothing would please me more than to dance with you." the Doctor said with a charming smile.

Ditzy Doo blushed and continued up the long walkway. Suddenly, they heard a familiar voice behind them. "Heathens!" Reverend Bookbinder bellowed. "How dare you flaunt your promiscuity in public!"

Ditzy Doo groaned audibly in annoyance. The Doctor turned to look at her and asked, "Is this bloke serious?"

"I'm afraid so." Ditzy sighed. "Reverend Bookbinder, can you please not do this? I'm on a date."

"Of course you would be associating with this impotent madman who makes blasphemous machines!" Bookbinder snarled.

"Madman?" Ditzy gasped.

"I won't deny the madman thing," the Doctor said with a frown, "but my machines are not 'blasphemous' and that impotent comment was completely uncalled-for."

"You're really rude." Ditzy agreed. "If It weren't for my dress, I'd be tempted to hit you because you're going too far this time!"

"Dress a whore in finery and she'll still be a whore." Bookbinder said smugly.

"Why you-" The Doctor took a threatening step forward.

Before any fight could begin, a tough-looking stallion in a tuxedo approached. His cutie mark was a velvet rope between two gold poles. "This guy bothering you two?" he asked.

"He was just leaving." Ditzy said tersely.

"If you'll be leaving, have a nice night, sir." the tough-looking stallion said, stepping between the pair and Bookbinder. The grey-maned stallion glowered at the group before walking away. The security stallion then looked at the couple and smiled. "I hope you two enjoy the ball."

"Oh, we will." Ditzy said, returning the smile.

The security stallion nodded before heading off to check the rest of the guests for troublemakers. The Doctor frowned and said, "What he said, when he called you a whore, that was completely uncalled-for."

Ditzy sighed and said, "I'm used to it. I mean, some meaner ponies think that the fact that I was a single teen mom means that I'll sleep with anypony and everypony. It's not so bad here in Ponyville, but there are a hooffull ponies other than Reverend Bookburner who give me trouble." She smiled at the Doctor and added, "The friends I've gained while I've been here have been completely worth it, though."

"You're worth it, Ditzy Doo." the Doctor said, returning a smile.

When they arrived at the entry to the manor, the two ponies handed in their invitations before heading in. Who knows what that night might have in store?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rarity and Hazelnut Latte headed up the walkway to High Born Manor. The fashionista was very excited to be going, but the barista was very uneasy. The white unicorn turned to the brown unicorn and asked, "Why are you so nervous?"

"Well," Hazelnut Latte said with an awkward shuffle, "I haven't been to a formal ball since my days back at Lacy Ruffles' School for Fillies. I'm worried that I won't do your dress justice."

"Why darling, you look absolutely gorgeous!" Rarity said reassuringly.

Hazelnut Latte's gown was a gorgeous light blue v-line halter dress. It was made from the finest threads and the blue faded into black around her neckline with a blue opal in the bottom of the V. The train resembled the wings of a blue morpho butterfly. Her mane, which was relaxed into ringlets, was held in an elegant updo and decorated with a blue orchid. To Rarity, she resembled some sort of ancient goddess. Her outfit was completed with a black ribbon with a blue butterfly on it. She was wearing a pair of gold vintage round wire rim glasses, which Rarity had given her- the lenses were Hazelnut Latte's prescription, though.

Rarity's dress was patterned after a luna moth. The sweetheart neck cap sleeve dress was mostly pale green, with an eggplant cincher and eggplant trim at the hem of the skirt. The dress was completed with little luna moth wings, which started at her shoulders and flowed down to her lower back. Her mane was in a half-updo and decorated with white roses. Around her neck was a green choker with a chamomile flower on it. Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but smile. "If you say so." she said.

"Hazelnut Latte, your dress is beautiful and your mane is on point. I meant it when I said that you would be the envy of everypony at the ball." Rarity said with a great deal of sincerity in her voice. "When the time comes, press the opal."

"What does pressing on the opal do?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

Rarity gave a mysterious smirk. "You'll find out when the time comes."

"How will I know when the time is right?" Hazelnut Latte questioned.

"You'll know." Rarity promised. "When all eyes are on you, you'll know."

"It's kind of hard to believe that I'd stand out." Hazelnut Latte said. "Lacy Ruffles' School for Fillies promised to turn fillies into diamonds, but I still left as a hunk of quartz."

"Amethyst is a type of quartz. In my opinion, amethyst is preferable to diamonds." Rarity took a deep, deep breath and continued. "With a little work and a deft hoof, your amethyst can outshine a diamond."

Hazelnut Latte's face erupted into a truly brilliant smile that, true to Rarity's comparison, could outshine any diamond. The white unicorn couldn't help but feel her heart beat a little faster. What was this feeling inside her?

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Discord tried not to scowl at the lack of chaos in his outfit. It was a pale gold Regency-style jacket with a matching waistcoat, white high-necked shirt, and a white cravat. It wasn't a loud, lurid color at all! Fluttershy's outfit, however, he didn't mind. She wore a very regal-looking gold Regency-style ballgown. She wore pearls in her hair, which was in a loose chignon, and she had a gold necklace. Rarity had made their outfits and when Fluttershy had stepped out, revealing herself in all of her splendor, Discord was certain that his heart skipped a beat. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from telling her how beautiful she was.

Now he was going to a ball with her, this time as her plus-one. It was almost too good to believe. A soft voice broke through the fog of his thoughts, gaining his attention. "Are you alright, Roguish Jape?"

Roguish Jape? Oh, right. That was him, or at least the name he went by in public. "Perfectly fine, my dear." the stallion said airily.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Certainly." Discord replied. "The outfit could be a bit less... orderly, though."

"Rarity worked hard on these outfits, so be nice." Fluttershy said gently.

Rarity had made Fluttershy's outfit months ago, but his outfit had been more last-minute. Fluttershy had made him thank her. The things he would do for that pegasus! For her sake, he'd have to attend a party without crashing it. That was definitely a switch. The last time he had gone to a party without crashing it was Celestia's birthday party over a thousand years ago. He was pretty sure that by now, she had lost count of her actual age. Come to think of it, he wasn't quite sure how old he was. He just knew that he was old. The old adage about how mares never told their age and stallions never acted theirs seemed to apply to draconequui, too. Right now, he wasn't a draconequus. He was a stallion. Unless he got changed back, he would end up spending the rest of his life with Fluttershy. It was a concept that he, being immortal, had never thought about before. He didn't want to think about it.

The duo turned in their invitations before heading into the ball. They were, of course, fashionably late. As they stepped into the grandiose ballroom, Fluttershy gasped softly. It was far fancier than the Gala had been. There were many wealthy-looking ponies there, all in very expensive-looking garments. Fluttershy spotted Rarity and Hazelnut Latte off in the distance, but the two seemed to be deep in conversation. Discord leaned in to whisper into Fluttershy's ear. "When do you think those two are finally going to get together?" he asked.

"I don't know." Fluttershy replied. "I don't think Rarity even realizes that she loves Hazel. Hazel is kind of oblivious and has sworn off romance for a while."

Discord rolled his eyes and muttered, "Romance! Who finds their special somepony at a ball in real life?"

"I don't know." Fluttershy replied, looking away and blushing. "It could happen."

Discord chuckled and said, "If it happens, be sure to let me know."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor and Ditzy Doo made small talk while they waited for the Countess High Born to make her entrance. There wasn't really much to do until then. Neither of them really wanted champagne at the moment. "-And that's why one should always shield their knees when around arrows." the Doctor finished.

"Wow, that sounded like it hurt." Ditzy said. "Does it affect your range of movement?"

"Not at all." the Doctor replied. "I'm a fast healer."

"Maybe you are an alien!" the grey mare giggled. "What's next? Are you going to tell me that you secretly have an alien tentacle that comes out of your back?"

"Nope." the scientist replied. "I'd most likely have two hearts if I was an alien, not a tentacle."

"You do only have one heart, don't you?" Ditzy said in a faux-accusational tone.

The Doctor let out a dramatic sigh and said, "Alas, I have but one heart. You'll have to look elsewhere at this ball to find a handsome alien."

"Shame." Ditzy sighed. "I would love to find a handsome alien with two hearts and no tentacles."

"You'll have to settle for me, I suppose." the Doctor said with a smirk

"Unless I were to find said alien and he were to steal me away." Ditzy said, returning that smirk. "Then you'd have to beat him up, possibly in some sort of arena, surrounded by Amareicans."

"Beat him in an arena surrounded by Amareicans?" the Doctor scoffed. "Who do I look like to you, John Cena?"

Ditzy cocked her head and asked, "Who's John Cena?"

"I..." the Doctor paused. "I actually have no idea who that is or where I heard that name."

"Just one of your weird moments, right?" Ditzy questioned. "Like the time you mentioned having something called 'trainers' and had no idea what you meant by that, either."

"Not to mention the bizarre dreams." the Doctor said. "Anyway, let's not focus on those right now. Let's focus on the ball."

It was then that Countess High Born's butler, Jeeves, arrived. He was in a Regency-style black jacket with a blood-red button-down jacket and white cravat. In his typically haughty, eloquent voice, he announced, "Presenting our host, the Countess, High Born."

The Countess gracefully made her way down the lavish stairway. Her mane was up in a crown braid and she was wearing a beautifully embroided gown with a matching bolero jacket. Once she was at the bottom of the stairs, High Born spoke up. "I'd like to welcome you all to the annual Autumn Equinox Ball." She said. "I'm glad to see that most of the many ponies invited have arrived. Champagne and hors d'oeuvres have been provided. I hope that the remaining guests will arrive and it will be a shame if they don't, but it is good to see all of you. I hope that you all have a good time."

The Countess then dismissed herself before heading over to mingle with some of her more well-to-do guests. Ditzy snatched a canapé from a tray from a passing server and popped it into her mouth. She enjoyed the tastiness of the cream cheese and scallions on stale bread. She didn't say it out loud, but her thought was om nom nom. The Doctor had somehow managed to get his hooves on a banana daiquiri. The mail mare finished her snack before looking at the scientist. "The snackage seems good." she commented.

"Indeed." the Doctor replied. "I've heard that last year, one of the items was," He gave a full-body shudder. "pear sorbet!"

"You don't like pears, huh?" Ditzy said, raising an eyebrow.

"What kind of pony likes pears?" The Doctor groused.

"I know plenty of ponies who like pears." Ditzy said with a frown.

"I think I should avoid them, then." The Doctor said, also frowning.

"You're being ridiculous again." The grey-coated mare rolled her eyes.

"Ridiculous is my middle name." the Doctor said with a broad grin.

"I thought your middle name was David." Ditzy said. "Doctor Time Turner David Whooves."

"It's a bit of a joke, Ditzy Doo." the scientist said. "Please don't use my full name."

"Okay, Doctor." Ditzy said, rolling her eyes.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Discord was pretty much stuffing his face with hors d'oeuvres. It was slightly embarrassing and somewhat concerning to Fluttershy. "Roguish Jape," Fluttershy said, raising her voice slightly so she could be heard, "you shouldn't be eating so fast. It'll give you a tummy ache."

Discord slowed his eating down before wiping his face. "Fine." he said with a sigh.

"Thank you." Fluttershy smiled at him.

Discord felt a little awkward when his lovely friend smiled at him so brilliantly. What the hay was he supposed to say to her now? He cleared his throat and said, "Ah, you're welcome."

He snatched a flute of champagne from a passing tray and offered it to Fluttershy. "Champagne?"

"No thank you." Fluttershy replied. "Maybe later."

"Oh." Discord said. "Well, more for me, then."

"Don't drink too much." Fluttershy said. "Last time you got drunk, you tried to give my chickens a makeover."

"I assure you, it won't happen again." Discord huffed.

"Let's just try to enjoy ourselves, okay?" Fluttershy said. She then looked Discord in the eyes and added, "I wouldn't have been able to put up with this crowd without you."

"Er, right." Discord said awkwardly, looking anywhere but Fluttershy's eyes. "Have fun. No crashing the party. Got it."

Fluttershy would rather have not told him just what she did when she was drunk during the absinthe incident. Nothing adult-oriented had happened, but she would rather Discord not know why he had her lip balm on when he woke up. She vaguely remembered it and she was still embarrassed about it. Discord hadn't brought it up, so she had no reason to talk about it. She wouldn't do it again. She especially wouldn't do it tonight, no matter how handsome her best friend appeared in his outfit. No matter how much she wanted to.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rarity and Hazelnut Latte were each enjoying some champagne and the barista couldn't help but comment. "I am one hundred percent certain that my mother's side of the family made this stuff. It couldn't be anypony else. This can only have been made in Prance and I know that this is one of the wines that the Bubbles family crafts."

"Well, my compliments to the skill of your family." Rarity replied. "It's crisp and delicious, with the perfect balance of flavors."

"The food here is pretty good, too." Hazelnut Latte said. "Whoever made these hors d'oeuvres is a master of their craft."

"I didn't realize that I liked stuffed mushrooms." Rarity admitted.

"Why not?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Well, I've never actually tried stuffed mushrooms before." Rarity confessed.

"This isn't really the first ball that I've been to." Hazelnut Latte said. "We had them a few times a year at Lacy Ruffles'. Generally speaking, they were Spring and Autumn Equinox. It was really the only time when we had boys over. They were usually from Wintermane Academy. It was a colts-only school. We were heavily chaperoned."

"What were the balls like?" Rarity asked.

"Very fancy." Hazelnut Latte replied. "We were expected to be on our best behavior. Most of us were. I never wore a ball gown this nice, though."

"Well, you deserve it." Rarity said with a smile. "You deserve to be the most beautiful mare in this ball."

Hazelnut Latte gave her friend a brilliant smile and said, "Whatever did I do to deserve you as a friend?"

Rarity blushed a little and replied, "You were you."

Hazelnut Latte noticed the blush and asked, "Are you okay, Rarity? You look a littel flushed. Do you need to stop drinking champagne?"

"No." Rarity replied. "I was just... thinking of something."

"Oh, okay." Hazelnut Latte said. "Hey, speaking of blushing, what if you find a nice stallion while you're here? I could be your wingmare!"

"That would be nice, though you don't really need to do it." Rarity said, smiling awkwardly at her friend.

"Well, I can do it if you want." the barista said. "There is no shortage of eligible bachelors here."

"If you find somepony, let me know." the fashionista said, still smiling awkwardly.

"Got it." Hazelnut Latte said, smiling back. "I'll be back in a bit."

With that said, the barista left. Rarity was left wondering whether she wanted to meet a stallion here or not. She had gone with a friend and would rather focus on that friend. In a non-romantic capacity, of course! She was absolutely not attracted to other mares, especially Hazelnut Latte with her sapphire eyes and gorgeous curls and winsome smile. Rarity absolutely did not, in any way, shape, or form, have it bad for her good friend.

Meanwhile, Hazelnut Latte was browsing the crowd for good-looking, well-mannered stallions. It wasn't long before she spotted a rather good-looking white stallion with gorgeous blonde hair. Being a lesbian, Hazelnut Latte did not find him attractive, but she understood aesthetics and what kind of stallion a straight mare might find attractive. He was definitely the type of stallion that a straight mare might find attractive and he seemed to be polite. She waited until he finished his conversation with the Countess before approaching him. "Good evening." the barista said with a smile.

"Good evening to you as well." The stallion returned her smile.

"I'm Hazelnut Latte." Hazelnut Latte introduced herself. "What might your name be?"

"I am Prince Blueblood." the stallion said with a charming smile.

"It's nice to meet you." the barista said. "If I'm not being too forward, might you be looking for a mare tonight?"

Blueblood seemed to ponder it over for a moment before replying, "You are attractive, but something tells me that I'm not your type."

"Sorry." Hazelnut Latte said. "I'm incredibly, incredibly gay. I'm just acting as wingmare for a friend. She's gorgeous, friendly, and incredibly generous without being foolish."

"What's her name?" Blueblood asked.

"Her name is Rarity." Hazelnut Latte replied. She then indicated Rarity's location. "She's over there."

Suddenly, Blueblood seemed incredibly awkward. "Oh." he said. "We've met before. I've said some rather rude things that made her cross with me."

"You could apologize." Hazelnut Latte suggested. "You might not be able to get a date with her, but this could be your chance to make things right."

"Indeed." Blueblood said with a smile. "I will go to apologize to her. Thank you for your suggestion, Hazelnut Latte."

"You're welcome." Hazelnut Latte replied.

Blueblood then proceeded to head over to Rarity's location. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before approaching the violet-maned mare. "Hello, Rarity."

Rarity looked at the stallion. Her voice was calm but sharp when she said, "Hello, Prince Blueblood."

"It's a nice ball, isn't it?" He asked.

"It is indeed." Rarity said.

Blueblood hesitated for a moment before saying, "I'd like to apologize for when we last met. I behaved atrociously towards you and your friends. I'd like to ask for your forgiveness, but I wouldn't blame you for not forgiving me."

Rarity smiled at the stallion and said, "Thank you for apologizing. I'm not sure if I should forgive you right now, but if you've truly turned over a new leaf, I'll consider it."

Blueblood nodded his head and said, "It would mean a lot to me."

The two white-coated ponies then proceeded to engage in small talk. Over the next few hours, the small talk evolved into an actual conversation, which led to deeper conversation. For the moment, Rarity forgot about Hazelnut Latte. "I've decided to forgive you." the fashionista announced.

Blueblood's smile widened. "Wonderful!"

It was then that Jeeves spoke up once more. "Presenting Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

The ponies turned to see the lavender-coated alicorn descending the staircase. She was wearing a navy blue v-neck gown with starbursts on it. It covered her cutie mark. Rarity's smile broadened. "Oh, Twilight's here!"

Twilight arrived at the foot of the staircase. She looked out at the guests and said, "Hello, everypony. It's good to be here. I'm honored to have been invited to Countess High Born's Autumn Equinox Ball. I hope that I've made it in time for everypony to dance."

Countess High Born, who had made her way to Twilight's side, said, "Of course, dear. There's plenty of time to dance." She turned to the band and said, "Some dance music, please."

The band then began to play the music. Blueblood offered a hoof to Rarity and said, "If it would please you, may I have this dance?"

Rarity smiled and said, "If you insist."

The two then began to dance. Rarity was genuinely enjoying herself. That was, until she saw Hazelnut Latte off in the distance dancing with Carrot Top. What was she doing at the ball? Rarity watched over Blueblood's shoulder as the two dance. She could feel a clenching in her gut that she refused to identify. The prince looked at Rarity and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Rarity forced a smile. "I just haven't danced in a while."

"Well, you're doing perfectly." Blueblood replied.

"Thank you." Rarity said with a smile.

The white-coated mare continued to watch her friend dance. That clenching feeling in her gut only got worse. What was this feeling inside her? It certainly couldn't be jealousy. She had nothing to be jealous for. She absolutely, positively wasn't into mares. She had no reason to be jealous that Hazelnut Latte was dancing with Carrot Top and not her. It wasn't jealousy at all. It definitely wasn't jealousy. With that thought in mind, Rarity tried to return her attention to Blueblood. That was easier said than done.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Discord rolled his eyes as he watched Twilight's grand entrance. "Of course she would be here." He muttered.

"It's not so bad." Fluttershy said reassuringly. "You don't have to dance with her or anything."

"Who might I dance with, then?" Discord asked.

He saw how awkward Fluttershy was and made up his mind. The transformed draconequus smiled and said, "Would you like to dance with me, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy nodded shyly and said, "If it's not too much trouble."

Discord then led Fluttershy out to the dance area. As they danced, Fluttershy couldn't help but overhear whispers of how well they matched and that they must be together because no stallion looks at his daughter like that. Why did so many ponies mistake her for his daughter? They looked nothing alike. The aqua-eyed pegasus looked up at Discord to see what they meant by the way he was looking at her. He had the most tender smile on his face, looking at her as if she was something fantastic. Fluttershy broke her gaze from his, blushing deeply. Why did he have to be so handsome? It wasn't fair. Still, the thought as she looked back up at him and smile, she would keep dancing with him. She would enjoy this beautiful night with him. She would wear this beautiful gown to match his amazing look and she would absolutely not fall for him. She absolutely hadn't fallen for him when he was a draconequus, even though she thought he was perfect the way was in his natural form. After all, nopony could possibly fall for a socially awkward pegasus who could barely fly.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ditzy laughed as the Doctor danced with her. It was a laugh of joy at the silly looks he would give her. They hadn't been dating for that long, but by now she was sure that she loved him. She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him and she wasn't sure if he was ready to hear it. Still, she had plenty of time. She was only twenty-five and he was only forty. Her parents had a greater age difference. Her mother was twenty and her father was forty-eight when they married. The Doctor smiled at his date and asked, "Thinking about something, Ditzy Doo?"

"Yep." Ditzy replied.

"What might you be thinking about?" the Doctor questioned.

Ditzy smiled at the earth pony stallion and said, "Good things, of course."

"Ah." the Doctor said. "It's always good to think about good things."

"Yep." Ditzy said with a grin. "I was thinking about you."

"What were you thinking about me?" the scientist asked.

The mail mare smiled and said, "It's a secret."

The Doctor chuckled and said, "You are certainly full of secrets, my darling Ditzy Doo."

Ditzy blushed slightly when the stallion called her 'darling'. She then responded, "Everypony is entitled to their own secrets."

"Well, if you want to tell me eventually, I can wait." the Doctor said.

"I will tell you soon, when we're both ready." Ditzy promised.

"I can't wait." the Doctor murmured.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rarity watched as Hazelnut Latte finished dancing with Carrot Top. She saw that all eyes were on her friend, including Blueblood. Rarity grew angry when she heard some of the well-to-do ponies whispering about how strange it was for the Countess to have invited a mere barista, a pony in the food service industry. They whispered about how she was undeserving of this invitation. Some ponies, however, were looking at her with curiosity. Hazelnut Latte looked at Rarity, who smiled back at her and mouthed, 'opal'. The barista paused for a moment before pressing the opal. Suddenly, the train to her dress dramatically unfurled into a set of elegant wings, resembling those of a blue morpho butterfly. Many ponies gasped as this happened and the whispers soon turned to those of awe and envy. Rarity smiled as her promise came true. Hazelnut Latte was indeed the most beautiful mare at the ball. The barista's eyes met the fashionista's and the brown-maned mare smiled in the most brilliant way that Rarity had ever seen. The violet-maned mare felt her heartbeat pick up a little. She realized that she was right. It wasn't the dress that made Hazelnut Latte beautiful. It was Hazelnut Latte who made the dress beautiful. Blueblood turned to Rarity and asked, "Am I to assume that Hazelnut Latte's dress is your work?"

"Yes." Rarity said, trying not to sound breathless. "I made her dress."

"Excellent work, then." Blueblood grinned at Rarity.

"I'd say it's one of my best works." Rarity said, smiling as she looked at Hazelnut Latte.

"The rumors of your skill don't do you justice, then." Blueblood said.

"I'm flattered." Rarity said, blushing slightly.

"You're a mare of talent, Rarity." Blueblood said with a smile. "Would you like to continue dancing?"

"Yes, please." Rarity replied.

The two then continued to dance. The ball continued for several more hours as the guests socialized, danced, and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. When the ball was done, the Countess moved to the foot of the stairway and spoke. "I'd like to thank everypony for attending my Autumn Equinox Ball. I hope you've all had a good time and I hope that you all get home safely. I hope to see many of you at my next ball. Have a good night and I hope you get home safe."

Everypony then left the ball. When Rarity and Blueblood were outside the mansion, the prince once again smiled at the mare whom he had danced with. He took Rarity's hoof in his and kissed her hoof. He looked at her with a charismatic smile and said, "Until we meet again, Rarity."

After the stallion left, Rarity heard familiar hoofsteps approaching. She turned to see Hazelnut Latte, who had returned the wings to their relaxed position. She smiled at the fashionista and said, "Thanks for the dress, Rarity. I had a good time."

"Well, you deserve it." Rarity replied.

"Do you mind if I walk you home?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"Sure." Rarity replied.

The two mares then proceeded to head into town, chatting animatedly until they reached Rarity's home. "Well, we're here." the fashionista announced.

"Yep." Hazelnut Latte said.

The barista then gave the fashionista a chaste peck on the cheek. Rarity's eyes bulged as she gasped, "What?"

Hazelnut Latte grinned awkwardly and said, "Sorry. I spent a few years in Prance. Sometimes I do that with friends and family and I forget that it's not okay."

"Well, I understand." Rarity said, blushing furiously.

"Alright, then." Hazelnut Latte beamed at her friend. "Good night, Rarity."

Hazelnut Latte then trotted away. As soon as she was out of sight, Rarity brought her hoof to he cheek "She kissed me." Rarity whispered.

Rarity turned and headed into her home before collapsing into a chair. What was this feeling in her heart?

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter.

Twilight took a deep, deep breath as she fought the urge to scream. The alicorn inhaled, then exhaled loudly before grinding out, "Where have you been?"

Starlight Glimmer rolled her eyes and said, "You know where I was. I was in Zebrica."

"What took you so long to get back?" Twilight asked.

"Get off my back. I came back early." Starlight Glimmer said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well, you're back now. You know what's wrong. Fix it!" Twilight snapped.

"All right, all right!" Starlight said defensively. "I'll fix it. Just give me a minute."

"How was your trip to Zebrica?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"It was really nice." Starlight said.

The unicorn then used her magic to remove a large jar from her saddle bag, which contained a brain suspended in goo. "By the way, Pinkie," Starlight added, "I found this."

Pinkie Pie squealed in delight. "You found my brain!"

Chapter 14: Pinkie and the Brain II: The Return of Starlight Glimmer

Once again, Pinkie Pie was prancing around town. As always, there was candy everywhere and everypony had big, sparkly anime eyes and were all dancing and singing. It was a place of eternal happiness where everything had a positive side. When she arrived at the railway station, she pulled a sign out of nowhere and held it out. It had 'Starlight Glimmer' written on it in bright pink glitter in the style of comic sans. When the train pulled up, a cloud burst up. When the cloud faded away, it revealed Starlight Glimmer and a large amount of Starlight Glimmer's luggage. The unicorn raised a brow and said, "Nice sign."

Pinkie giggled and said, "I made it myself!"

"Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Starlight asked.

"Well, Twilight and this new pony named Sugar Shock had something reeeaally crazy happen to them." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "Now they need your help 'cause Twilight doesn't know the right spell!"

"It sounds like an emergency!" Starlight sounded rather alarmed.

"Not really." Pinkie Pie said. "It's just super-duper crazy. Also, Twilight keeps saying that she's not gay."

Starlight chuckled and said, "She's still in the closet?"

"Yeppers!" Pinkie Pie replied. "Now let's go! I'll take care of your luggage."

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later, Starlight entered Twilight's castle. A few seconds later, a surprisingly non-exhausted Pinkie Pie trotted in, pulling a cart full of luggage behind her. "Twilight!" Starlight called out. "I'm back!"

The first pony to gallop over to Starlight was a caramel-colored unicorn with sapphire eyes and an extremely curly chocolate-brown mane and tail. Her Cutie Mark was a wrapped piece of hard candy. On the wrapper was a starburst that was suspiciously similar to the ones on Twilight Sparkle's Cutie Mark. The brown-coated mare looked at Starlight from behind a pair of stylish glasses with black cat-eye frames. "Hi." she said. "I'm Sugar Shock. Am I to assume that you are Starlight Glimmer."

"Yeah." Starlight said with a smile. "Nice to meet you, Sugar Shock."

Pinkie Pie leaned into Starlight's ear and whisper-yelled, "She's the one that Twilight is gay for."

Sugar Shock rolled her eyes and said, "If that was true, I'd know by now."

The sound of hoofsteps could be heard as another pony approached. Soon it was revealed that said pony was none other than Twilight Sparkle. The first thing Starlight noticed was that the starbursts on the alicorn's Cutie Mark had been replaced by lightning bolts. The unicorn raised her brow and asked, "What happened to you?"

Twilight took a deep, deep breath as she fought the urge to scream. The alicorn inhaled, then exhaled loudly before grinding out, "Where have you been?"

Starlight Glimmer rolled her eyes and said, "You know where I was. I was in Zebrica."

"What took you so long to get back?" Twilight asked.

"Get off my back. I came back early." Starlight Glimmer said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well, you're back now. You know what's wrong. Fix it!" Twilight snapped.

"All right, all right!" Starlight said defensively. "I'll fix it. Just give me a minute."

"How was your trip to Zebrica?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"It was really nice." Starlight said.

The unicorn then used her magic to remove a large jar from her saddle bag, which contained a brain suspended in goo. "By the way, Pinkie," Starlight added, "I found this."

Pinkie Pie squealed in delight. "You found my brain!"

The pink earth pony used her hoof to open the top of her head, which seemed to be on a hinge. She then popped the brain into her head before closing it. The other three mares stared as she did this. There was a brief silence before Starlight asked, "How did this happen to you?"

"There was magic soda involved." Twilight elaborated. "We both drank it and now our Cutie Marks have switched. I don't remember the spell to fix it."

"So you need me to change your Cutie Marks back?" Starlight nodded. "I can do that."

Starlight's horn glowed as she concentrated on the spell. Soon afterwards, there was a flash of light on Twilight and Sugar Shock's respective flanks. When it faded, the lightning bolts on Twilight's Cutie Mark had been replaced by her normal starbursts and the starburst on the piece of candy on Sugar Shock's Cutie Mark had been replaced by its normal lightning bolt.

"Thank goodness!" Twilight exhaled loudly. "Thank you, Starlight!"

"Just be careful about drinking magic sodas, okay?" Starlight chuckled.

"We're not off the hook yet." Twilight said with a frown. "We need to change somepony back into their true form. Something happened."

"Well, let's get to researching then." Starlight said with a grin. The idea of a new spell was very exciting.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Discord was not happy. Fluttershy had received yet another message from Pretty boy asking her to hang out with him. The transformed Draconequus knew what the stallion's plans were and he was truly worried about the sweet, innocent Fluttershy. She was a paragon of all that was pure and good and he wouldn't let her be tarnished by the foul Pretty Boy. Discord would not let the idiot lay a hoof on his precious Fluttershy! Well, she wasn't really his, he thought with a frown. She was definitely precious, though. He cared about her more than he had cared about anypony before. She was special to him. He wouldn't define the way he felt about her, but he would protect her with every fiber of his being. As he saw Fluttershy putting on something cute, he knew that she was going to go out with Pretty Boy. Before he could stop himself, he blurted, "Don't go out with him."

"Pardon?" Fluttershy questioned.

"Please." Discord said fervently as he walked over to Fluttershy. "Please, don't go out with him. Don't go out with Pretty Boy."

"I don't see how it's any of your business who I go out with." Fluttershy said softly but firmly.

"I don't trust him." Discord said. "I know what his motives are."

"Discord..." Fluttershy sighed. "What am I supposed to do tonight? I can't let him down. I said I would go."

"You could spend time with me." Discord said. He then awkwardly began to babble. "I mean, not that we're a couple or anything. Everypony knows that I look old enough to be your father and I'm not the best looking in any form. We could have tea."

"You're not that bad looking." Fluttershy said, blushing and hiding her face behind her bangs. "I think that you're hoofsome in this form."

"You think that I'm hoofsome?" Discord was puzzled.

"Your pony form is very, very hoofsome." Fluttershy said softly.

It was then that Discord noticed how close they were. He met Fluttershy's eyes and she shyly avoided his gaze. His eyes darted down to her lips. They were so close. If he were to lower his face, just a bit, his lips would be on hers. It was an idea that he was contemplated. It was then that Fluttershy met his gaze again. As if reading his mind, she waited with baited breath for him to act. Unbidding, a thought of what Fluttershy had said appeared in his head. Hoofsome in this form. Did she only find him hoofsome in this form? Considering that he looked like a mistake of nature in his true form, it was probably true. With a soft sigh, Discord took a step back. Looking away from the mare, he said, "Go out with Pretty Boy if you want to."

"Discord?" Fluttershy was very confused at this sudden change.

Discord didn't reply. He just turned away and started to leave room. In an almost anxious voice, Fluttershy called out, "Discord!"

Discord still said nothing as he headed towards the house's exit. Fluttershy galloped over to him and stopped in front of him, blocking his way. "Discord, talk to me! Why are you acting like this?"

"It's nothing!" Discord said harshly.

Fluttershy flinched at her friend's tone. The pegasus stallion didn't miss this. He sighed and said, "Like I said, it's nothing."

Fluttershy was about to say something when somepony charged through the open door, colliding with her and Discord. When she saw the familiar curly, pink mane, she knew that it was Pinkie Pie. "Hi, Fluttershy!" the earth pony chirped. "Hi, Dissy!"

Discord frowned and asked, "How did you know that it was me?"

"It was my Pinkie Senses!" Pinkie Pie replied.

"I didn't know that Fluttershy had a guest." Starlight Glimmer said as she stepped into the house. "Is this Pretty Boy?"

"No." Twilight replied. "This is Discord."

"Twilight turned him into a pony." Sugar Shock explained.

"Really?" Starlight raised a brow.

"It was an accident!" An exasperated Twilight said. "Anyway, everypony step aside. We're going to fix this."

Fluttershy stepped out of the way. Sugar Shock took a mega-size energy drink out of her saddle bag and chugged it. Suddenly, her eyes began to glow. Twilight used her magic, which caused Sugar Shock's entire body to glow. Suddenly, lightning discharged from her horn. It made a direct hit on Discord. Lightning and a cloud of smoke flashed through the air around the stallion. When the smoke faded, there was the smell of burnt hair but Discord was in his true form once again. "I'm me again!" Discord exclaimed.

The Draconequus grabbed his tail and kissed it with a loud 'mwah', followed by his arms and paws. He was his old, Draconequus-y self again! Things would once more be as normal as they could be for a being of chaos. He then looked down at Fluttershy, who was smiling up at him. That thought once again came to his mind. Hoofsome in this form. Now he looked like a mistake of nature again. If Fluttershy had ever been interested in Roguish Jape, she wouldn't be interested now. He didn't know if he could deal with that. Swallowing silently, he then said, "Fluttershy, I hate to say this, but I'm going to have to stay someplace else for a while."

"What?" Fluttershy gasped softly.

"It's a chaos thing." Discord lied. "I bid you adieu."

"Discord!" Fluttershy cried out.

Just as Fluttershy shouted his name, the Draconequus disappeared with a snap of his fingers. When he was gone, Fluttershy lowered her head and softly said, "Discord..."

Twilight smiled comfortingly at her pegasus friend and said, "Don't worry. He'll be back."

"I'm not so sure." Fluttershy said quietly.

There was a silence, which was finally broke when Starlight asked, "All right, what the hay happened while I was gone?"

Some distance away, Pretty Boy was watching them through Fluttershy's window with his spyglass. He had seen the whole thing. So Roguish Jape was secretly Discord? Interesting. Pretty Boy smirked. With the Draconequus out of the way, it wouldn't be long before he could finally make his move.

Author's Note

I'm sorry that the chapter is a bit short. It needed to be done to move the story along.

It was a coin with a spring-like design diagonally beneath it. "What is it?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

"I think it's a flipping coin." Rainbow Dash said.

"Yes, we all know that it's a coin." Applejack said crossly. "Just what the hay is that curlicue thingie?"

"No, I mean that it's a coin being flipped." Rainbow Dash elaborated.

Chapter 15: Chocolate Tornado

Cocoa Jinx was three months away from her twelfth birthday and she hadn't gotten her Cutie Mark yet. This wasn't weird for Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, who were both turning eleven. Who knew that they had the same birthday? It was crazy, Rainbow Dash noted. Sweetie Belle's birthday was less than a month away. They still had time. Cocoa Jinx, if such a thing were possible, was even sicker of being blank-flanked than the other three were. She knew that one of Cocoa Jinx's older sisters hadn't gotten her Cutie Mark until she was almost thirteen, which was considered quite late when you consider that eleven was the typical age when a pony got their Cutie Mark. Regardless, they were still there to have fun at a birthday party. "Did you remember your gift for Apple Bloom?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yep." Scootaloo replied, patting the bulge in the saddle bag on the table.

"Did you remember your epi pen?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I don't think I'm going to have to worry about nuts at Apple Bloom's birthday party." Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Applejack knows about my allergy."

"Better safe than sorry, right?" Rainbow dash frowned. "I can't believe I just said that. I sound like my dad!"

Scootaloo snorted in amusement. "Hey, Grandpa Cirrus is a cool guy, aside from the frequent dad jokes."

Rainbow Dash raised a brow. "Grandpa Cirrus?"

"He asked me to call him that." Scootaloo said with a shrug.

Rainbow Dash made a mental note to have a talk with her father later. She hadn't yet adopted the filly and that was kind of getting a head of oneself. Of course, Cirrus Dash had always wanted grandchildren and Rainbow Dash was an only child. Scoots wasn't going to call her 'mom' anytime soon. Why would she call Cirrus 'Grandpa'? "Right." Rainbow Dash said. "Anyway, you should proably head off now. I still have a few errands to run before I show up."

"What kind of errands?" Scootaloo asked as she and her foster mother headed to the door.

"The 'none of your beeswax' kind." Rainbow Dash said with a grin. "Now, don't do anything that I wouldn't do." She paused. "Scratch that. Don't do anything I would do. Scratch that, too. If you do something that I would do, make sure to wear your helmet."

"Fiiiine!" Scootaloo groaned.

"Off to the party with you!" Rainbow Dash said with a smile. "I'll see you later. Bye, kiddo!"

"Bye, Mom!" Scootaloo replied automatically.

As soon as that three-letter word had been said, both ponies froze. It sounded like that three-letter word sort of just slipped out and she said it without thinking. Their eyes locked for a split second before Scootaloo turned away, quickly put her helmet on, jumped on her scooter, and sped away in a buzzing, orange blur. Once Rainbow Dash was alone, she blurted, "What the hay just happened?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Scootaloo quickly arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, thanks to her speed on her scooter. As she sped through the orchards, she spotted something. Discord was in one of the trees, clearly moping. A cloud above him was raining chocolate milk down on him. Even Scootaloo could tell that his body language clearly said, leave me alone. She stopped when she heard hoofsteps. She looked to see a rather smug-looking earth pony stallion approaching. "Pretty Boy." Discord said with a scowl.

"Discord." Pretty Boy drawled.

The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Scootaloo definitely wanted to get out of there. She quickly took off on her scooter once more. When she arrived at the farmhouse, the pegasus filly leaned her scooter against the side of the house before heading in. She saw Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Cocoa Jinx waiting for her. "Girls!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"Happy birthday, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom said happily.

"Happy Birthday, Apple Bloom." Scootaloo said with a grin.

Applejack trotted into the room and smiled at the fillies. "Ah'll be settin' the games up if y'all can wait a few more minutes."

"Games!" the Crusaders called out. "Yay!"

Applejack chuckled and headed off to set up the games. Scootaloo turned to Cocoa Jinx and asked, "Can you do magic well yet?"

"Not really." Cocoa Jinx said. "I can try. I'll show you."

The green-coated filly closed her eyes and concentrated. Her horn began to glow a verdant hue, energy building in the air before finally dissipating. Cocoa Jinx opened her eyes. "Anything?" she asked.

The other three fillies shook her head. It was then that the wind began to pick up. It was blowing harder and the three fillies began to grow nervous. Applejack headed into the room and said. "Ah'm gonna need help boardin' up the windows. Ah've seen this happen before. I reckon there's gonna be one heck of a storm."

The four fillies nodded. There was a scramble to board up the windows as the wind roared louder and louder. The doors and windows were boarded up when there was the sound of rain beating hard against the house. "It's a hurricane!" Sweetie Belle cried.

"Sweetie Bell, it ain't a hurricane." Applejack groaned. "We ain't close enough to the ocean."

The wind roared louder and Applejack had to peek through a crack in the boards. Her eyes widened. In a calm voice, the mare said, "Girls, get down to the basement."

"Applejack?" Apple Bloom questioned.

"Now!" Applejack ordered.

The four fillies hurried down to the basement, followed shortly afterwards by Applejack. The earth pony mare quickly latched the door shut from the inside before heading down the stairs. "Applejack, what's going on?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Is it a hurricane?" Scootaloo asked.

"It's not a hurricane." Cocoa Jinx said. "Like she said, we're not close enough to the ocean."

There was a brief silence before Apple Bloom said, "It's a tornado, ain't it?"

Applejack nodded and said, "Yeah. Just stay here an' we should be safe."

There was a loud racket above them, a horrible noise. The door to the basement rattled loudly as the latch struggled to hold it. Then there was a flash of light as Discord appeared in the basement, thoroughly drenched with what was obviously chocolate milk. He seemed rather annoyed and everypony noticed that he had an unconscious Pretty Boy tucked under his arm. Unceremoniously, the draconequus dropped the earth pony stallion to the floor. He let out a groan but quickly returned to unconsciousness. "He'll be fine." Discord said dismissively.

Applejack glared at the draconequus and said, "Ah shoulda known that this was yer work."

"Moi?" Discord said, clearly affronted. "I, dear Applejack, just caused some rain over in the orchard. This storm is not my doing."

"That's a bunch of hooey!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "It was you an' yer chaos magic!"

"Chaos?" Discord chortled. "Why little filly, there's only one power greater than the forces of chaos and order and that is luck. What you're hearing is not chaos magic but rather a chocolate rain storm sent horribly out of control with a tremendous amount of bad luck."

"There had to have been somethin'." Applejack said stubbornly. "It ain't like somepony used magic just before this happened and caused it."

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom suddenly looked at Cocoa Jinx. "What are you looking at me for?" the green-coated filly asked.

"You might have caused this." Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Sweetie Belle, everypony knows that Cocoa Jinx can't cast spells." Applejack said with a frown.

"She did use magic seconds before the storm started." Scootaloo supplied.

Discord conjured a magnifying glass out of nowhere and used it to examine Cocoa Jinx. "Yep." he said. "Definitely luck magic."

"Can't ya just stop the storm, Discord?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Sadly, the forces of luck are outside my purview." Discord said airily. "It looks like little Broken Mirror here should try to stop it."

"Cocoa Jinx." Cocoa Jinx corrected.

"Details." Discord said, waving his claw dismissively.

The other three ponies looked at Cocoa Jinx. "What do ya say, Cocoa Jinx?" Applejack asked, "Do ya think ya can stop it?"

Cocoa Jinx nodded and said, "I'll try."

The little unicorn filly closed her eyes and began to concentrate. "Good luck," she whispered, "please cause good luck. Maybe if I can cause bad luck, I can also cause good luck."

Her horn glowed, then flashed. The wind still roared. "Nothing happened." Cocoa Jinx moaned.

Suddenly, there was a loud, horrible noise. The door rattled loudly but some mysterious force was keeping it from flying off the hinges. A short while later, the sound of the wind stopped. The ponies and draconequus were quiet before there was a loud thud on the door and everypony suddenly screamed. The relief was palpable when Rainbow Dash's voice called out, "Is anypony in there?"

Applejack hurried over to the door, unlatched it, and opened it. "Me an' the girls are all here." the earth pony mare said. "Discord an' Pretty Boy, too."

"Oh." Rainbow Dash deadpanned. "Pretty Boy. How wonderful, he survived the storm."

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack scolded.

Applejack then looked out beyond Rainbow Dash to see that the entire house was gone, having been completely ripped up with only some pipes protruding up from the floor. The blonde mare's eyes widened in horror. She heard four gasps behind her as the fillies saw what had happened. "The house!" Apple Bloom cried. "It's... gone!"

"Good thing Granny Smith was in Canterlot gettin' cigars." Applejack said, feeling somewhat relieved. "Did anyplace else get hit?"

"Just your house and about a fifth of your orchard." Rainbow Dash replied. "I'm just glad that you all are alright."

Applejack nodded. One fifth of the orchard. It could be worse, but there was a lot of damage. They also had no house. However, they were still alive. Suddenly, the door fell clean off its hinges, which were too abused to hold it any longer. Cocoa Jinx sighed softly and said, "I'm sorry, that I couldn't save your house, Applejack."

Applejack looked at the hinges to the door and saw the damage. "By all rights, this door shouldn't've held." the orange mare said. "The door shoulda broken off in the storm."

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash said. "Whatever happened, you ponies must have had some amazing luck."

Applejack turned to smile at Cocoa Jinx. "So I really can do it." she said with a smile. "Good luck and bad luck."

Scootaloo then let out a loud, dramatic gasp. "What is it?!" Rainbow Dash cried.

"It's Cocoa Jinx!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

The other Crusaders spotted it immediately. "What is it?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

In an almost reverent tone, Sweetie Belle said, "Cocoa Jinx, you have your Cutie Mark!"

Cocoa Jinx looked back to see that on her flank was indeed a Cutie Mark. It was a coin with a spring-like design diagonally beneath it. "What is it?" she asked.

"I think it's a flipping coin." Rainbow Dash said.

"Yes, we all know that it's a coin." Applejack said crossly. "Just what the hay is that curlicue thingie?"

"No, I mean that it's a coin being flipped." Rainbow Dash elaborated.

"Oh." Cocoa Jinx said with a smile. "I have my Cutie Mark!"

"This calls for a celebration!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Cutie Mark Finding Day/Birthday Party! YAY!"

"Where are we going to have the party?" Scootaloo asked. "Applejack doesn't have a house."

"I think Pinkie Pie still has the cake." Rainbow Dash suggested. "Maybe we'll find someplace else to party."

A few hours later, the ponies in question were at Pinkie Pie's place. The pink earth pony in question was jumping around and singing about trout, of all things. Finally, she stopped. "I'm sorry that I don't have anything for your birthdays/Cutie Mark finding day." Pinkie apologized.

"We don't need gifts." Apple Bloom said. "We're all alive an' that's enough."

Rainbow Dash squirmed awkwardly and said, "My present to Apple Bloom was at Sweet Apple Acres. I just have Scoots' present."

"What did you get her?" Apple Bloom asked excitedly. "What did you get her?"

Rainbow Dash wordlessly handed a few papers to the pegasus filly, who quickly skimmed over them before launching herself at the cyan mare with a squeal. "Oh, Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo cried before breaking into tears.

"Scoots, what's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Is this not okay?"

"Of course it's okay!" Scootaloo cried. "This is the best birthday ever!"

The other ponies present looked down at the papers. Discord smirked and said, "Saw it coming."

The other females in the room let out excited squeals, except for Applejack, who wiped a small tear from her eye. This would go down in history as the best birthday Scootaloo would probably ever have. Lying on the floor where Scootaloo had dropped them were the papers finalizing her adoption.

Chapter 16: I Left My Heart in San Franciscolt

It was winter break and Scootaloo was super excited. Sure, she was away from the other Crusaders, but she was going to have fun. She had accompanied Rainbow Dash to San Franciscolt. Her adoptive mother was going to act as a judge in the Pan-Equestrian Stunt Fliers Association's annual Super Flight competition. Scootaloo had begged to come with her. Rainbow Dash, thankfully, allowed her to come. Unfortunately, current events left Rainbow Dash rather busy as she had to familiarize herself with the rules of the competition and the criteria for placing. However, Scootaloo was not left by herself. She was left with Rainbow Dash's cousin, Silver Lining. She was originally from Flyreland, but she lived in San Franciscolt now. Silver Lining had decided to take her to a skate park, of all places. She was kind of excited, especially since Rainbow Dash had bought her a new skateboard. She had a skateboard of her own, but she'd had it for over a year and was getting kind of big for it.

"Now Scootaloo, don't go too far." Silver Lining said with a thick Flyrish brogue.

"Silver Lining, it's just a skate park." Scootaloo groaned. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"Some of the fliers' children come 'ere." Silver Lining replied. "Some of them are bratty litte shiteheads."

Scootaloo's eyes widened. "Rainbow Dash wouldn't want you to use that kind of language around me."

"Well, yer mam ain't 'ere, is she?" Silver Lining said with a mischievous smirk.

"You know that you're a terrible influence on me, right?" Scootaloo deadpanned.

"The absolute worst." Silver Lining confirmed. "Now, go play an' 'ope that no one ya run into is a little turd."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and adjusted her helmet. She headed into the park and started practicing her tricks on the various parts of the park. She was starting out easy, but she quickly became accustomed to her new board. After she landed her third heelflip, she heard somepony laughing at her. She stopped and looked to see an aqua earth pony colt with a blue and silver streaked mane. "Nice board." He jeered. "Surprised you know how to use it."

"I know how to use it." Scootaloo said with a scowl. "I've been using it since I got here."

"Yeah, whatever." the colt scoffed. "Get out of the skatepark. We don't like frontier town hicks here."

"Who do you think you are?" Scootaloo snapped.

"The name is Flip Kick." the colt said. "I'm the best skater here! My mom is Vert. She's the best flier in the entire PESFA!"

"Do you know who I am?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yeah." Flip Kick said. "Your mom is that Ponyville mare who isn't qualified to judge. You're Scootaloo, Equestria's biggest baby."

"She is too!" Scootaloo argued. "And I am not a baby!"

"Prove it!" Flip Kick said.

Before Scootaloo could do anything, Flip Kick shoved her backwards. She didn't have time to stop herself before she fell backwards into the bowl. "Scootaloo!" Silver Lining shouted.

Scootaloo glared up at Flip Kick. The colt did his signature move, a kickflip, before rolling back onto the deck. He sneered at the filly, who was a bit scraped up. "I'm okay!" Scootaloo called out to her mother's cousin before getting back up onto the deck and settling near a ramp.

Flip Kick was just looking at her with a mocking expression on his face. "What, is your mommy going to kiss your boo-boo?" the colt jeered. "Bet she's brain damaged from all those crashes!"

Scootaloo glared at Flip Kick from the other side of the ramp. The jerk thought that he was so much better than her! He dared to insult Rainbow Dash, too! "Take that back." Scootaloo growled.

"Make me, Scootababy!" Flip Kick laughed. "I bet you can't even do any tricks on that widdle baby skateboard!"

Scootaloo's face split into a fierce grin. "Probably better than you!"

"Are you challenging me to a skate-off?" Flip Kick said with an arrogant laugh.

All the colts and fillies that had gathered around them let out 'ooh's of surprise. Scootaloo, instead of being intimidated, stood up straight and said, "Yeah, I am."

"Prepare to be annihilated!" Flip Kick laughed, heading over to the half pipe.

Scootaloo grinned fiercely and said, "Prepare to eat those words."

The two foals began their skate-off, each of them doing the best tricks in their respective reportoires. Scootaloo was determined to beat him. She had to admit that he was good. Eventually, it turned into a competition to see who could get the most air. As Scootaloo got higher, she absent-mindedly thought that this might be a special talent of hers. She could feel a strange tingling sensation, but she didn't let that distract her. To her dismay, Flip Kick got up higher than her. It was then that things went bad. The colt lost control of his board and began to fall from a great height. Lacking wings, he plumetted headfirst. He didn't have a helmet on. If he landed on his head, it wouldn't be pretty. Scootaloo reacted on instinct. Kicking off the top of the half-pipe, she shot up, her wings buzzing too fast for the naked pony eye to keep up with. She snatched Flip Kick out of midair, saving him from disaster. She hovered for a second, wings buzzing audibly, before lowering down enough to safely release Flip Kick before landing. Silver lining shot over to her, making sure that she was okay. "Oh my feckin' stars, Scootaloo!" She exclaimed. "Did ye know what ye jist did?"

"You saved me!" Flip Kick exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know." Scootaloo said. It was then that it hit her. "Oh spirits! I just flew!"

"I've never seen somepony move like that." Silver Lining admitted. "Do you usually fly like that?"

"No!" Scootaloo replied. "That's just it! I've never flown before!"

"Well, ye know what this means." Silver Lining said with a serious voice.

"What?" Scootaloo asked hesitantly.

Silver Lining grinned at her cousin's daughter. "This means that we're getting ice cream to celebrate!" the silver-maned, pale-blue mare said with a broad grin. "An' afterwards, we're gonna tell yer mam."

"Can I join?" Flip Kick asked.

"Feck off, ya wee shite." Silver Lining shot a venomous look at the colt, causing him to cower. "Come on, Scootaloo. We're going."

Scootaloo picked up her board and followed Rainbow Dash's cousin. Once they were out of earshot, the filly asked, "Was that really necessary?"

"Probably not." Silver Lining admitted. "But ya 'ad ter admit it, yer boy is a little turd."

Scootaloo nodded. They were silent for a few seconds before the filly spoke up again. "Silver Lining?" she said.

"What?" Silver Lining replied.

"If I get two scoops, I'll promise not to tell Mom that you were swearing around me." Scootaloo said with an evil grin.

"Ah!" Silver Lining chuckled. "Yer jist like yer mam!"

"I didn't hear a 'no.'" Scootaloo said, her grin widening.

"We'll see when we get to the ice cream shop." Silver Lining said, chuckling again. "Then, we'll go to the arena in time to catch yer mam before the compatition."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Scootaloo and Silver Lining had the necessary passes to get in so they could see Rainbow Dash. It took a while, though. They got to meet a few of the competitors. One of them, a yellow mare with a teal mane, snorted haughtily. "Who let the rabble in?"

Another competitor, a grey mare with a silver mane and gold eyes, rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, chill out, Vert. They're Rainbow Dash's guests."

"I have respect for Rainbow Dash as a talented flier." Vert said. "That doesn't mean that I need to like her foal, Afterimage."

Afterimage rolled her eyes and turned away from Vert to continue her stretches. Scootaloo could see that the grey mare's Cutie Mark was an old leather flier's helmet, which slightly overlapped a negative afterimage. Vert's Cutie Mark was an upward-pointing arrow. "Come on, Scootaloo." Silver Lining said. "Let's go find Rainbow Dash."

Scootaloo nodded and followed the Flyrish mare. They had to ask for directions a few times, but they eventually found Rainbow Dash. "Scoots!" the cyan pegasus greeted her adopted daughter happily.

"Mom, guess what!" Scootaloo said happily. "I flew! I actually flew!"

"That's awesome, kiddo!" Rainbow Dash said, bringing the filly into a hug.

Scootaloo, of course, hugged her back. Rainbow Dash released her a few seconds later. The rainbow-maned mare then froze. "Scoots." She said slowly. "Look at your flank."

Scootaloo turned to look at her flank, expecting it to be blank as usual. Instead, she was met with the image of a purple helmet with two white stripes on it- a perfect replica of her skater's helmet. She had gotten her Cutie Mark. The filly's mouth fell open. "I got my Cutie Mark." she whispered almost reverently. She turned to Rainbow Dash and loudly exclaimed, "Mom, I got my Cutie Mark!"

Rainbow Dash hugged her daughter and said, "That's so awesome!"

A tan unicorn stallion with a white mane walked in. "Ten minutes, Miss Dash." he said.

Rainbow Dash released her daughter and said, "You can tell me all about it after the competition. I've got some judging to do!"

Scootaloo nodded and headed off with Silver Lining to watch the competition. It was going to be a good one, she could tell.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Several hours later, the competition had reached its conclusion. Afterimage won first place. Second place went to her long-time rival, Spiral Dive. Vert didn't even place. Instead, third prize went to a talented male griffin named Garth. As she, Rainbow Dash, and Silver Lining left the competition grounds, Scootaloo was telling her mother what happened. "And then," Scootaloo said, "Whoosh! I flew up! I've never gone faster in my life!"

"And that's how you got a Cutie Mark in skate tricks." Rainbow Dash said with a smile. "That is super rad!"

"Ye should've seen 'er, Dash." Silver Lining said proudly. "She was amazin'."

"Then Silver Lining called him a wee shite." Scootaloo added.

Rainbow Dash's head jerked to look at her cousin. "Silver!" she gasped. "Not in front of the kids!"

Silver Lining glared at the filly. "I thought that you weren't going to tell her." the Flyrish mare said sternly.

"Well, I only got one scoop." Scootaloo replied.

"She tried to bargain her silence for an extra scoop of ice cream?" Rainbow Dash snorted. "That sounds like something I'd do!"

"It is somethin' ye'd do, Dash." Silver Lining deadpanned. "An' somethin' ye 'av done. Several times."

"We were fillies then." Rainbow Dash argued.

"Last time you did it, it was your eighteenth birthday." Silver Lining pointed out. "Only that time, it was tequila shots."

Rainbow Dash frowned momentarily before meeting her cousin's eyes. The two shared a grin. The first time the cyan pegasus got to drink, she and her slightly older cousin both got hammered. They both decided that it would be best to not tell either's parents, especially considering tht Silver Lining had a drunken one-night stand with a stallion she met at the bar. Rainbow Dash had laughed herself silly at the whole thing and the two of them went to a diner and had pancakes for breakfast. Scootaloo raised a brow. "Tequila shots?"

Rainbow Dash chuckled and said, "I'll tell you about it when you're older, Scoots."

"Aww!" Scootaloo huffed. "It sounds like a cool story!"

"When you're older." Rainbow Dash repeated.

Scootaloo let out a huff of annoyance as she followed her mother back to their hotel. They would see the tourist spots of San Franciscolt tomorrow. Until then, she thought with a grin, she would be just be happy that she got her Cutie Mark. She couldn't wait to tell the others! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell would be so jealous! She was the first one of the original Crusaders to get her Cutie Mark. She wondered what her friends' special talents were. She would have to wait until later to find out.

Author's Note

Like I said, the whole 'Cutie Mark in helping others find their Cutie Mark' thing was a cop-out in my opinion. I refuse to acknowledge it. I like this story so far and I hope I haven't caused any disappointment.

Chapter 17: Author Intervention

Six figures, all concealed by cloaks, walked into the apartment building. All that could be seen was their hooves. The lavender-hooved mare looked at a blue stallion with a blonde mane and a cutie mark that featured a green aluminum can. She then said, "I'm looking for somepony called Porcelain Mug."

The yellow-hooved mare then softly asked, "Could you tell us where they are? If it's not too much trouble."

The stallion asked, "Are you their friend?"

The white-hooved mare nodded and said, "Something like that."

The blue-hooved mare asked, "Are you going to tell us where they are or not?"

The stallion swallowed nervously before saying, "Room 101."

The orange-hooved mare nodded and said, "Thank you."

The pink-hooved mare bounced where she was and asked, "Are we going to have coffee with them?"

The blue-hooved mare groaned and said, "The last thing you need is coffee."

"Awww!" the pink one huffed.

"Come on, you two." the lavender one sighed. "Let's go to Room 101."

The group then headed down the halls, to Room 101. The lavender one knocked. "Porcelain Mug?" she called out.

There was no answer. She tried again. No response. The orange one said, "Stand back, everypony!"

The group stepped back and the orange one kicked the door down. Sitting at the desk was what looked like a dappled grey unicorn mare with white stockings. Their cutie mark was a white mug. The pony whirled around in their computer chair and exclaimed, "FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Are you Porcelain Mug?" the lavender one asked.

"Depends on who's asking." Porcelain Mug replied. "Who the fuck are you?"

The white one seemed to cringe and said, "Please stop using profanity. It's uncouth. Would you please just watch your language?"

"I can't watch my language." Porcelain Mug snarked. "I don't come with subtitles."

The white one let out a frustrated groan and the pink one giggled. The others looked at her. "What?" the pink one said. "It's funny!"

"Anyway," the lavender one said, "you are Porcelain mug, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Porcelain Mug replied. "I'm Porcelain Mug. Now tell me, why the fuck did you kick down my fucking door?! It wasn't even locked!"

Five of the mares looked straight at the orange one. She let out an awkward laugh and said, "Hehe. Mah bad."

"Look, just tell me who you are and I might consider not calling the police." Porcelain Mug said.

The mares all lowered their hoods. The grey pony sighed and said, "Oh. You six. Why did you break into my apartment?"

"It's been too long since you updated!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "The readers need to have more chapters about how awesome I am!"

"We also need to know what happens between Discord and Fluttershy." Rarity added.

Fluttershy blushed vividly and looked away before mumbling, "You should write more about Rarity and Hazelnut Latte. Please."

Rarity looked at Fluttershy and asked, "Do they really need to know more about my personal life?"

"Yes." Twilight replied. "And Sugar Shock is cute and we need to hang out more." She quickly added, "But I'm not gay."

Applejack rolled her eyes and said, "Suuuure..."

"I want more songs!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Maybe a Foreigner parody?"

"It also wouldn't kill you to get the other Crusaders their Cutie Marks." Rarity pointed out.

"Maybe a redemption chapter for Reverend Bookbinder?" Applejack suggested.

"Ooh!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "What about a love scene between Sugar Shock and Twilight?"

"I'm not gay!" Twilight shouted.

Porcelain Mug put their hooves up to their ears and shouted, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALL OF YOU!"

Pinkie Pie cocked her head and asked, "Does this mean 'no' to the love scene?"

"First of all," Porcelain Mug said, "this fic is T-rated. I'm not going to include a graphic sex scene. Secondly, I just got a new keyboard."

"If you have a new keyboard, you should be updating!" Rainbow Dash insisted.

"Rainbow Dash is right." Rarity agreed. "The readers need to know what happens next."

"Okay, maybe no love scene." Pinkie Pie said. "How about some extremely heavy petting?"

"Pinkie, I'm not gay!" Twilight groaned.

"ALL RIGHT!" Porcelain Mug barked. "All right, all right, I'll get to updating. Just give me a few days!"

"That's all we needed." Twilight said with a nod.

"Okay, I'll do it." Porcelain Mug said. "Now please, get the fuck out of my apartment."

"Do you really need to swear so much?" Rarity asked.

"I tone it down in my writing." Porcelain Mug replied. "Now, out!"

The six mares turned around and left. Once they were gone, Porcelain Mug spun their computer chair so they were facing their computer. They rolled their shoulders and cracked their neck before putting their hooves down onto their keyboard. "All right." they said. "Let's get to writing." They then began to type. "It was another morning in Ponyville and, just as she did every morning, Twilight Sparkle stepped into Cuppa Joe's..."

Chapter 18: In Which Twilight Sparkle Absolutely, Positively Doesn't Read Teh Pr0ns

It was another morning in Ponyville and, just as she did every morning, Twiligh Sparkle stepped into Cuppa Joe's. She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. Yes, she was working on another secret project. She was curious about... things, since reading Horny for Her: A Unicorn's Guide to Lesbian Sexuality. Purely because she was curious about the book, of course. She wasn't curious about doing... things with other mares. None of her friends were into that sort of thing. Why would she be? She was an ordinary mare who was attracted to stallions. She knew that for sure. She couldn't be attracted to mares. Her first sexual experience with another pony had been with another mare, but that didn't count because, well, it was with another mare. It didn't count... did it? She shook her head. No. It didn't count. When she looked across the counter, she saw Hazelnut Latte standing there in her uniform. Aside from her mane being straightened and having different glasses, she was pretty much the mirror image of her twin sister. Of course, that made sense because Sugar Shock and Hazelnut Latte were identical twins. The caramel-coated unicorn in front of Twilight smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you today?"

Twilight smiled weakly and asked, "Is there anything new?"

"Well, until the end of next moth, we have a duce de leche macchiato." Hazelnut Latte replied.

"I'll try that." Twilight said. She then indicated a chocolate croissant in the pastry case. "I'd also like one of those."

"One dulce de leche macchiato and one chocolate croissant." Hazelnut Latte said. "Coming right up!"

Twilight stepped aside as a few more caffeine-hungry early risers trickled in. They made their orders, too. After a brief time of waiting, she heard Hazelnut Latte call out, "Twileet Sporkle!"

Twilight let out a groan, though she was somewhat used to this. "Twilight Sparkle." she muttered under her breath. "It's Twilight Sparkle!"

Nonetheless, she walked over to the counter, claimed her drink, and paid nine bits for the coffee and the pastry. She then headed over to a table and claimed it, setting her rear end down on a comfortable seat. She took a sip of her macchiato, allowing the sweetness of the dulce de leche and the earthiness of the coffee flow over her tongue and down her throat. She then took a bite of her chocolate croissant. The chocolate that filled the pastry was rich and wonderful and the croissant part was nice and flaky. No wonder she came here every morning. Twilight looked across the room at Hazelnut Latte. She and Sugar Shock definitely had the same 'customer service smile'. The lavender alicorn had seen Sugar Shock with that smile while she shadowed her at work during the Switcharoo Punch Incident. After it was over, all she was left with was her memories. Well, memories and an inexplicable fondness for licorice. One of the things she could remember about the night she and Sugar Shock did 'the deed' was that the curly-maned unicorn's kisses tasted like licorice. That was weird because Twilight used to hate the stuff. It was a kiss from another mare, so it couldn't possibly have affected that way and made her like the black sweet. After a few minutes, Twilight finished her drink and pastry and disposed of her cup in the recycling bin.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Twilight headed out to the front steps of her castle to check her mail. She retrieved a few letters from her mailbox and sorted through them, tossing away the junk mail. It was then that she noticed a box. She looked at it and saw that it was from one of her old schoolmates, Venus Whisper. She took her mail inside before heading up to her room and carefully opening the box. Inside were a few books, along with a note.

Twilight,

It's me, your old friend, Venus Whisper. I've been hearing things. Mainly that you're in your mid-twenties and still single. We both agreed that if one or both of us were still single at twenty-four, we'd do some favors for each other to make single marehood a bit more bearable. Speaking of that, thanks for the you-know-what. I got it in the mail and I couldn't leave my bed for three days!

Twilight blushed vividly, remembering how she had to go into that shop to buy a you-know-what for Venus, a you-know-what for herself, and several bottles of water-based lubricant. She did a pretty good imitation of a tomato in that shop and sounded quite a bit like Fluttershy. Twilight dismissed the thought before returning to the letter.

Anyway, it's high time that I return the favor. Inside is some reading material that I think you might enjoy. We both know that you're a raging bibliophile, Twilight. It had to be books. In this box is all five 'Wings of Love' novels by Fanny Delight. I think you'll like the main character, Minx.You won't be able to put these books down, I can guarantee that! Have fun!

Your friend, Venus Whisper

Twilight set the letter down and picked up one of the books. On the cover was a picture of an earth pony mare wearing a half-unbuttoned shirt embracing a pegasus mare in a satin nightgown. The title of the book was A Gentlemare's Heart. Figuring that she had nothing to lose, Twilight sat down on a cushion and began to read.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Venus had been right, Twilight decided. She definitely couldn't put A Gentlemare's Heart down. She had expected it to be a book about two mares exploring their friendship, but it turned out to be anything but that! She really didn't expect this sort of scene! Currently, Twilight's eyes were locked onto the page as she read with rapt attention.

Willow's lips parted from Minx's. The earth pony then smiled and caressed the pegasus' cheek. The two mares' eyes were locked as the unspoken passion passed between them. Minx looked away before whispering, "We shouldn't be doing this, Willow."

"This is natural, Minx." the earth pony told the pegasus.

"But we're both mares!" Minx protested.

"We are both mares," Willow agreed, "but you can't tell me that this, this thing between us, isn't real."

Minx looked away, unable to meet Willow's eyes. The earth pony gently turned the pegasus' face to look at her. "Do you think that this thing, how we feel, isn't real?"

Minx inhaled softly, before exhaling. She thought about how Willow made her feel, about the thoughts that she put in her head that she had been told were sinful but somehow felt so very right. Most of all, she thought about how the gentlemare made her feel whenever she held her. She looked up and met Willow's eyes. "No." Minx said softly. "It's real. I can't deny the way I feel about you any longer, Willow. Please, hold me!"

Willow gently ran her hooves down Minx's back, caressing her feathers before landing on her hips. She pulled the pegasus to her she was straddling her lap. The pegasus reached up and pulled the larger earth pony's face down, pressing her lips to hers. Minx felt Willow's tongue touching her lips and shyly, she parted them. Their tongues danced together in a show of passion that the pegasus was not accustomed to, from another mare. Their hooves caressed eachother as they passionately kissed for what felt like an eternity. Finally, they parted, panting with ardor. Slowly, Minx reached down and began to unbutton her nightgown.

Twilight fanned her face with a hoof. Spirits, she felt so warm. She felt tingly all over, in a way that she hadn't felt since her experience with Sugar Shock. She wasn't turned on, though. She absolutely wasn't turned on. It was just an interesting scene. A scene with two mares that might be about to make love.

Willow met her eyes and asked, "Minx, are you sure?"

Minx nodded and said, "More sure than I've ever been of anything, Willow."

Willow smiled before gently guiding Minx down on her back in the soft bed. Taking the hem of the nightgown, the earth pony slowly began to raise it, intent on surveying the bounty she was about to partake in. "Touch me, Willow." Minx said softly.

With a look of adoration in her eyes, Willow said, "Anything for you, my Minx."

The Earth Pony then-

"TWILIGHT!"

Twilight slammed her book shut with a shout of, "I wasn't reading lesbian porn!"

Spike stared at her for a moment before saying. "Ookay..."

Twilight cleared her throat and asked, "Is there anything that you need, Spike?"

"Can I have three bits?" the young dragon asked. "I'd like to get a new comic book."

Twilight reached into her purse and tossed three bits at the dragon, who easily caught it. Spike looked at the coins. Then, an evil smile curled onto his face. "If you give me enough to buy three more comics, I won't tell Princess Celestia that you were reading about two mares about to," His smirk faltered. He cleared his throat before saying, "ahem, do adult stuff."

Twilight groaned and gave him a few more bits. Why, oh why, had her brother given him 'the talk' last year? "Thanks, Twilight!" Spike chirped before trotting out of the room.

Twilight listened silently until she was sure that Spike was gone. She then opened her book and began to read once more. Her eyes widened when she read what Willow was doing to Minx and how detailed the scene was. The alicorn felt warm all over. But she wasn't turned on. Nope. She was just reading a story. "I'm not gay!" she whisper-yelled.

Author's Note

Because I'm a horrible, horrible creature.

A scene from the next chapter:

Rarity stared up at the night sky, taking in the sight of the stars. She glanced to the side to see that Hazelnut Latte was also looking up. "Say, Rarity?" the caramel-coated unicorn said.

"What is it, Hazelnut Latte?" Rarity asked, looking back up at the sky.

"You ever wonder what is up there?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"No, not really." Rarity replied.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's something up there, wondering if we are down here." Hazelnut Latte said softly.

"I've never really thought about that." Rarity said.

Hazelnut Latte seemed to notice something. "Wait, did that star just move?"

Suddenly, a bright light hit them. They looked up to see a disc-shaped object with a circle of lights under it. They got up and tried to flee, but they were stopped where they are. Slowly, Hazelnut Latte's hooves began to lift from the ground. "Help me, Rarity!" she cried as she began to be pulled upwards towards the flying disc.

Suddenly, the barista was yanked into an opening by the light. The opening closed and the disc shot off into the night sky while Rarity watched in horror. "HAZEL!" the white unicorn screamed into the night.

Chapter 19: It's Called a "Graphic Novel"

Things were frustrating for Rarity. She had developed a much-valued friendship with Hazelnut Latte, but she had also kind-of-sort-of maybe possibly developed some minor level of attraction towards the barista. This didn't make sense. Rarity was 99% sure that she was supposed to like stallions. Mares of her level of sophistication were not supposed to like other mares in that manner. All of the homosexual mares that she had known were a bit more... working class. She was by no means a billionaire, but she had a decent amount of money to her name. Her designs brought in quite a bit of money. She wasn't any better or more important than a working class pony, but she was aware of class differences and what was expected of some ponies. She hated it sometimes, that she wasn't always allowed to enjoy certain things without being judged. Onei of the things she wasn't allowed to fully enjoy was Hazelnut Latte. It was something that Rarity tried not to think about, but lately, it was becoming more and more difficult. She needed a distraction. She knew that Twilight would probably recommend a book that she had read a thousand times, so she wasn't sure who to ask. Still, she found herself in Twilight's castle anyway. Looking across the room, she saw Spike sitting down on a cushion next to a stack of books, clearly engrossed in what he was reading. Rarity walked over to the young dragon and asked, "What are you reading?"

Spike, for once not really noticing that it was Rarity that he was talking to, tilted the book to show its contents. Rarity raised a brow. "A comic book?"

"It's called a graphic novel." Spike said tersely, looking up. It was then that he saw who he was talking to. His eyes widened. "R-Rarity!"

Rarity smiled and said, "Hello, Spikey-Wikey." She glanced around to make sure that nopony was watching before asking, "What kind of comic is it?"

"Graphic novel." Spike corrected. "It's called Visitors from Beyond the Stars. It's a series of science fiction anthology graphic novels. I have all twenty of them. I'm re-reading number twenty."

"Oh." Rarity looked around to see if anypony was watching.

Spike cleared his throat and said, "Um, if you want, you can borrow them. I've read them all anyway."

Rarity thought about it for a moment. Spike, figuring out the mare's hesitation, said, "Don't worry. I won't tell anypony."

Rarity nodded and said, "All right, I'll borrow some."

Spike handed the white unicorn the first four novels, which she put in her saddlebags. Rarity smiled brightly and said, "You're the best, Spike."

Spike blushed and said, "Well, I hope you enjoy them. When you're done with these ones, I'll lend you the next four."

Rarity, still smiling, said, "Thank you very much. I'm going to read these when I get home."

"Okay." Spike said. "Um, have a nice day!"

"You too!" Rarity said before leaving.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rarity found herself engrossed in the stories of the graphic novels. They were really interesting. To be honest, she never really thought that she'd be a sci-fi pony. It was evening by the time she was finished with the second novel. She was getting really tired. Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. She got up and opened it to see Hazelnut Latte with a picnic basket. The barista had a smile on her face as she said, "The stars are super clear tonight. How do you feel about a picnic under the stars?"

Rarity, in a move of courage, quickly nodded and said, "That would be great. Give me a minute to get ready."

The fashionista noted that Hazelnut Latte was wearing a jacket. The white unicorn quickly hurried off to her room. She put on a jacket, as it was a brisk autumn evening. She then came back and saw the barista still standing there. Rarity took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. She then smiled and said, "All right, let's go."

They headed out of town, nowhere near the Everfree Forest but still fairly distant. Hazelnut Latte laid a picnic blanket down before getting some pastries and a couple thermoses out of the picnic basket. Rarity took a pastry and bit into it. Her eyes widened. She looked at the barista and asked, "Does this have honey in it?"

"Yeah." Hazelnut Latte replied with a nod. "Honey and lemon."

Rarity opened her thermos to take a drink and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. She took a sip and her taste buds were blessed with the flavor of perfectly brewed coffee. She looked at the caramel-colored mare and said, "You made this, didn't you?"

"Yep." Hazelnut Latte replied.

Rarity took another sip and said, "This is very smooth."

"I used a moka pot." Hazelnut Latte explained. "If you get it right, you get really smooth coffee."

Rarity took a bite of her pastry, then another sip of her coffee. "Well, Hazelnut Latte, you've outdone yourself." the white-coated unicorn said with a smile.

Rarity looked at Hazelnut Latte as the stars began to come out. She looked so beautiful under the starlight. She didn't even realize how beautiful she was, the fashionista thought. She didn't even realize that she was beautiful at all. Hazelnut Latte looked up and said, "The stars are really clear tonight. Aren't they beautiful?"

"Yeah." Rarity replied, still looking at the stars reflected in the other mare's eyes. "Beautiful."

Hazelnut Latte plopped down on her back, gazing up at the sky. The white unicorn decided to join her. Rarity stared up at the night sky, taking in the sight of the stars. She glanced to the side to see that Hazelnut Latte was also looking up. "Say, Rarity?" the caramel-coated unicorn said.

"What is it, Hazelnut Latte?" Rarity asked, looking back up at the sky.

"You ever wonder what is up there?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

"No, not really." Rarity replied.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's something up there, wondering if we are down here." Hazelnut Latte said softly.

"I've never really thought about that." Rarity said.

Hazelnut Latte seemed to notice something. "Wait, did that star just move?"

Rarity could hear a ringing in her ears, possibly the result of the visitors' brief presence. The ringing began to grow louder and clearer. The fashionista then realized that the ringing was coming from right next to her. With a jolt of surprise, she stat up quickly and found herself in her bedroom. She looked around. What the hay just happened? It took a minute or two for her head to clear and her to realize that it had just been a dream. She got up and exited her room. The moment she exited, she could smell the aroma of pancakes and apples. She headed down to her kitchen to see that her temporary roommate, Applejack, was there. The farm pony had been staying there since the tornado, and probably would until the farm house was rebuilt. Applejack glanced back at Rarity and smiled. "Yer up!" the earth pony said. "Good mornin', Rarity."

Rarity rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and asked, "How did I get in my bedroom?"

"Ah had ta carry you." Applejack replied. "It ain't that difficult. Yer a light little thing. Ah already sent Sweetie Belle ta school."

"Oh." Rarity said quietly. "Thank you, I suppose."

"Ah'm makin' some apple pancakes." the earth pony explained. "Do ya want some?"

The unicorn nodded. "A bit of breakfast would do me some good."

Applejack expertly flipped the pancakes. Once she finished them, she put them on a stack of pancakes. There were two plates that each had a stack of pancakes on it. Once the farm pony was done, she turned the stove off and removed the skillet from the heat before carrying the plates over to the table. Rarity saw that there was already a bottle of maple syrup on the table. When her pancakes were in front of her, the fashionista poured some maple syrup over them before setting it down and picking up her fork. She took a bite of the pancake and, to no surprise, they were good. Applejack really knew how to cook with apples. Rarity looked up at the earth pony. "Is that cinnamon that I taste?" the unicorn asked.

"Yep." Applejack replied. "Could ya pass the maple syrup?"

"Oh!" Rarity said. "Of course!"

Rarity then passed the maple syrup to Applejack, who poured some over her own pancakes. The earth pony looked at the unicorn and said, "Ya seemed ta be havin' some weird dreams."

Rarity looked down at her pancakes and said, "Yeah."

Applejack nodded and said, "Ah saw yer comic books."

"Graphic novels." Rarity corrected automatically. She then said, "You won't tell anypony, will you?"

"Ya have mah word." Applejack replied. A look of mirth glinted in her eyes when she added, "But it might be best if ya didn't read 'em before bed."

Rarity shot the farm pony a half-hearted glare. "I assure you, it won't happen again."

Applejack nodded. "Ya borrowed 'em from Spike, didn't ya?"

Rarity let out a sigh before replying, "Nopony needs to know that I've been reading science fiction."

"Ah won't tell nopony." Applejack repeated her prior statement. "I ain't judgin' ya, neither. It ain't mah place ta judge."

Rarity smiled and said, "I suppose that even you have your own secrets that you don't want anypony to know about, just like everypony else."

Applejack chuckled and said, "Oh, Rarity. You have no idea."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hazelnut Latte had opened up the shop and waited for the inevitable. A few minutes later, as always, Twilight Sparkle came into Cuppa Joe's. She seemed to be more tired than she had been in past mornings. "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's!" Hazelnut Latte greeted. "What can I get for you?"

Twilight mumbled something incoherent. Hazelnut Latte looked at the alicorn and asked, "Are you okay?"

Twilight's head jolted up as she blurted, "I didn't read porn!"

Hazelnut Latte raised a brow and said, "Oookay..."

Twilight sighed and said, "I'll have a caramel latte, double espresso."

"Got it." the barista nodded. She then set about to making the drink.

Twilight paid for the drink and sat down at one of the tables, waiting for the hot beverage. She seemed very distracted, the barista thought. It didn't take long for the drink to be finished. Hazelnut Latte put the drink out on the counter and said, "Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight got up and retrieved her drink. She then carried it over to her table, which was near the counter. Nopony else was in the building and wouldn't be for a while. Hazelnut Latte hesitated before asking in a concerned voice, "Are you alright, Twilight?"

"Just... going through some stuff lately." Twilight replied.

"Ah." the barista nodded. "That happens to everypony."

"There's been somepony on my mind." Twilight admitted. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, you could tell him." Hazelnut Latte suggested. Because of the alicorn's past behavior, the unicorn admitted that the person was a male.

"That's the thing." Twilight said. "That pony is a mare."

"Well, I'm sure that you and she can figure this out." Hazelnut Latte said. "Secrets are never good and can sometimes bite you in the butt."

"This can't be." Twilight said. "I can't be attracted to mares. I'm attracted to stallions. I'm not gay!"

The barista raised a brow and said, "You're attracted to stallions and mares?"

The princess inhaled deeply, then exhaled audibly. "Yeah." she admitted. "It seems so."

Hazelnut Latte smiled comfortingly and said, "Twilight, from what you've told me about being attracted to both mares and stallions, you're definitely not gay."

"I'm not?" Twilight looked at the barista with a look of near-desparation.

"No, you're not." the caramel-colored unicorn explained. "Sweetie, you're bisexual."

Twilight swallowed audibly before asking, "So, does that mean that there's something wrong with me?"

"Absolutely not!" Hazelnut Latte said sternly. "Twilight, you are who you are. A lot of the time, you don't really choose who you're attracted to. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual. Bisexuality is just as valid as being straight or gay."

"What do I do?" Twilight asked.

"Well, I can recommend a book." the barista replied. "A Mare's Guide to Bisexuality is a good one."

"I don't have that one." the alicorn admitted.

"Well, you can probably find it at Paige's Ponyville Pages." the unicorn suggested. "They have a very good LGBTQ section."

Twilight nodded. "I'll take a look at it, then."

"Just be yourself." Hazelnut Latte said. "Everything will work out in the end. You don't have to come out of the closet right away."

Twilight nodded and took a sip of her coffee. To be honest, Hazelnut Latte hadn't expected to provide her advice. She was openly gay, so she knew a bit about coming out of the closet. She had a feeling that her alicorn regular would find that most of her friends and family would be accepting and supportive when she did come out of the closet. And she, Hazelnut Latte decided, would be supportive of Twilight, too.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Twilight took several calming breaths before looking at the doorway to the living room. She looked at Applejack and said, "Applejack, tell me that I can do this."

"You can do this, Twi." the farm pony said.

"Okay." Twilight nodded. "I can do this."

"If yer not ready, ya don't have ta." Applejack said.

"No, I have to do this." the alicorn said. "I owe this to my friends and family, but most of all, to myself. The worst thing I can do is keep living a lie."

"Right." Applejack murmured. "Lettin' yer family know and not livin' a lie."

"Thank you for being so supportive." Twilight said earnestly. "I'm glad that you understand, even though you don't have to worry about anything like this situation."

"Right." Applejack said awkwardly. "Nothin' like that."

"All right." Twilight squared her shoulders. "Here goes nothing."

She headed into her living room, Applejack following her. The alicorn took a deep breath before saying, "Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you."

Chapter 1: Single Parenthood (Sort Of)

"WAKE UP, HAZEL!"

Before Hazelnut Latte could identify the voice, something jumped on her, waking her up and knocking the wind out of her at the same time. She flailed, got tangled in her sheets, and fell out of bed. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, the mare looked up to see the blurry form of a young unicorn filly on her bed. The filly had a creamy mint-green coat, a butter-hued yellow mane, and emerald green eyes. Hazelnut Latte began to untangle herself from her sheets as she said, "I told you not to wake me up like that, Cocoa Jinx."

Cocoa Jinx cocked her head slightly before looking at the older mare with a sheepish expression. "Sorry, Hazel. The alarm clock went off and you threw it against the wall and broke it again."

"The alarm clo-" Hazelnut Latte's eyes widened. "Oh, crap! What time is it? I have to get you to school! Then I have to get to work!"

Cocoa Jinx giggled. "Hazel, it's Saturday, remember? I can go to work with you on Saturday!"

Hazelnut Latte grinned sheepishly and said, "Right. As your legal guardian/borderline-dysfunctional parental figure, I have to make sure that you stay out of trouble today. It's a good thing that Matcha Bliss understands."

"All right!" Cocoa Jinx said happily. "Let's make tea! I've never made tea before. Do you think I could get a Cutie Mark in tea-making?"

Hazelnut Latte couldn't help but smile a little. For all of her efforts, Cocoa Jinx's flank remained blank. The poor filly looked forward to getting her Cutie Mark so much. These things took time, of course. Most of the ten-year-olds in Equestria were starting to get their Cutie Marks and most had gotten them by eleven. Hazelnut Latte herself had been a late bloomer. She hadn't gotten her own Cutie Mark until she was twelve, almost thirteen. Adolescence had been awkward. Bad haircuts, class differences at Lacy Ruffles' School For Fillies, braces, coming to terms with the fact that her special talent was hot beverages and that there was a 90% chance that she would become a barista, finding glasses that didn't make her look like a complete geek, and not to mention the whole matter of figuring out her sexuality... all were just part of the teenage experience of Hazelnut Latte. Hazelnut latte's horn glowed with a blue aura as she brought her black-framed hipster glasses to her face. She could see everything much clearer now. Some ponies questioned why she didn't just get contact lenses like a few other ponies in town- that's right, you're not fooling anypony, Rarity. Hazelnut latte looked at Cocoa Jinx and asked, "Did you brush your teeth?"

Cocoa Jinx grinned broadly, revealing her clean, white teeth. "Minty fresh!" she exclaimed.

"Good." Hazelnut Latte nodded her approval. "That means I'll have to do the same."

Hazelnut Latte headed to the bathroom. Using her magic, she applied some toothpaste to her toothbrush and began brushing her teeth. As she brushed her teeth, she looked at herself in the mirror. Staring back at her was a unicorn mare with sapphire blue eyes, a caramel colored coat, and an extremely curly, chocolate brown mane and tail. Once she was done brushing her teeth, she took some mouthwash, swished it around in her mouth, and spat it out. Then, she rinsed her toothbrush and placed it in the cup where it usually was. Next came taming her unruly mane into some semblance of order. It was time for the straightening iron. As she tended to her mane and tail, Hazelnut latte wished- not for the first time- that she had her mother's straight hair. Her mother had been a unicorn from Prance and her father was an earth pony from Jamaneca. He was the one Hazelnut Latte got her curls from. With the exception of one sister, all of her siblings had straight hair. Some days, Hazelnut Latte loved her curls. Other days, she hated them. They could certainly be a nuisance sometimes because there was just so much of them. The unicorn mare sighed and turned her straightening iron off before setting it on a heat-protected surface. Then came a little spritz of something to keep her mane and tail straight and she was ready to go. She headed to the little kitchen in her two-bedroom apartment. When she arrived, she saw that Cocoa Jinx was already making pancakes, though the filly had to use a stool to reach the stove. Hazelnut Latte smiled and said, "I seel that my little Scion of Chaos is making breakfast."

"That's Avatar of Entropy to you!" Cocoa Jinx lightheartedly corrected her sister. "Besides, I wasn't the one who invented Mayhem Mocha to keep that Draconequus from deliberately causing trouble at your work."

"Anarchy Latte." Hazelnut Latte corrected. "Extra foam, two shots espresso, one drop of chaos extract. The taste changes every ten seconds, but it always tastes somewhat of coffee. Surprisingly popular off-menu item. Besides, it worked. Now he only comes in for coffee."

"What about the obvious unresolved romantic tension between him and-" Cocoa Jinx tried to ask before she noticed that the pancake needed turning. She flipped it and continued, "Anyway, the romantic tension between Discord and you-know-who is thicker than an overfrozen Frost Latte."

Hazelnut Latte waved a hoof dismissively. "You're imagining things, Cocoa Jinx. The two of them are friends- nothing more."

"But Hazel-" Cocoa Jinx tried to say, but she was interrupted by her guardian.

"Nothing more!" Hazelnut Latte said with a frown.

"Don't deny it." Cocoa Jinx huffed as she transferred a pancake to a plate. "You ship them, too."

"It's against regulations to ship customers." Hazelnut Latte explained. "I told you about the Great Explosion of '04."

The Great Explosion of '04 happened before Hazelnut Latte's time at Cuppa Joe's. Back in '04, a unicorn mare named Pink Button and a unicorn stallion named Purple Head were attracted to each other and employees at a Cuppa Joe's location in Detrot shipped them. The intensity of Purple Head and Pink Button's ultimate passion and the overwhelming power of the shipping combined to create a powerful explosion that leveled ten square blocks of downtown Detrot. At least a dozen ponies were seriously injured and Purple Head and Pink Button were arrested for engaging in, ahem, adult activities in public.

Cocoa Jinx nodded as she put some more pancake batter on the skillet to make more pancakes. A few minutes later, the two of them each had a decently sized plate full of pancakes. Hazelnut Latte put both of her hooves together and bowed her head. "It's time to say grace."

"GRACE!" Cocoa Jinx shouted before shoveling a forkful of syrup-drenched pancake into her mouth.

Hazelnut Latte reached over to ruffle the filly's mane with her hoof and said, "That's my girl!"

"Hazel!" Cocoa Jinx protested, ducking the mare's hoof before returning to her pancakes.

The two of them ate in pleasant, comfortable silence for a while before Cocoa Jinx spoke up again. "Hazel?"

"What is it, Cocoa Jinx?" Hazelnut Latte asked.

It was then that Cocoa Jinx asked one of the questions that Hazelnut Latte had absolutely been dreading. "When is Dad coming back?"

Hazelnut Latte's stomach fell and suddenly she wasn't so hungry anymore. Why did it have to be this question? Why couldn't she be like a normal child and ask where foals came from? Oh, wait. She already knew. Hazelnut Latte had already had that conversation with her. The blue-eyed mare smiled at the younger unicorn and said, "He's just on vacation, Cocoa Jinx. I'm sure that it won't be long before he comes back."

The truth was that their father, Coconut Charm, probably wasn't ever coming back. After their mother, Sparkling Bubbles, had died, Coconut Charm decided that he didn't want to be a single father. Hazelnut Latte and her twin sister were twenty at the time, but her younger brother, Fizzy Pop, was thirteen and Cocoa Jinx was only four. He ran off to 'find himself' and left his minor children alone. By some miracle, Hazelnut Latte managed to get custody and legal guardianship over her younger siblings. The last time Hazelnut Latte had seen Coconut Charm, she was on vacation with the then-seven Cocoa Jinx after winning a two-week trip to Scoltland. Fizzy Pop was spending the summer with their maternal grandparents, Grand-père Golden Bubbles and Grand-mère Chardonnay in Prance.

It turned out that Coconut Charm had married a Scoltish mare named Oat Biscuit and they had an eighteen-month-old daughter named Coconut Macaroon. He told Hazelnut Latte to stop looking for him and 'just let him be happy'. She never told Cocoa Jinx about it, even when they got home. Fizzy Pop came home fairly fluent in Prench and both sad and relieved to be free of his grandparents. Hazelnut Latte hadn't told him, either. She did tell her twin sister because she couldn't keep a secret from her own twin. Thankfully, her twin hadn't told anyone. Neither Fizzy Pop nor Cocoa Jinx was any the wiser.

Whatever. She didn't need him. She had raised an awkward colt into a lightly less awkward stallion and was currently doing a decent job raising a spirited young filly. She was rocking the single parent game! Hazelnut Latte decided to change the subject. "These are good pancakes, kiddo."

"Thanks!" Cocoa Jinx beamed. "Dinky Doo taught me! I mean, they're not as good as her mom's pancakes. I don't think anyone else's are."

"Yep, that Ditzy Doo sure knows her way around the kitchen." Hazelnut Latte agreed. "I'm not sure I'd trust her around a gas range, though."

"Why do they call Miss Doo 'Derpy'?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "From what I heard, it was a school nickname. Something to do with a substitute teacher with really bad handwriting. I didn't grow up around here, so I wouldn't know."

Cocoa Jinx nodded. "Ponyville is way different than San Franciscolt. The mares here are so far in the closet that they're finding presents from ten years ago."

"Cocoa Jinx!" Hazelnut Latte tried to admonish her younger sister, but failed to contain a laugh. She cleared her throat and explained, "Small towns can be..." She threw her front hooves into the air. "You know what? I give up. Yes, small towns can be backwards, but Ponyville does have its charms. It's not a bad place to live, even if Bookburner-"

"Reverend Bookbinder." Cocoa Jinx corrected.

"-Reverend Bookburner tries to keep the town 'pure' and annoy half the populace while he's at it." Hazelnut Latte said. "Need I remind you what happened when Paige Turner's bookstore featured Saucy Scarlet's best-selling memoir, Confessions of a Drag Pony?"

Cocoa Jinx frowned. "He made Paige cry."

"She still sold the book, though. It sold damn well, too!" Hazelnut Latte said with a smile. "Do you know why she didn't let Bookburner stop her?"

"Because he's a dumb fuddy-duddy who needs to get a fucking life?" Cocoa Jinx questioned.

"Cocoa Jinx!" Hazelnut Latte admonished. "What did I say to you about swearing?"

"That I can swear all I want when I'm twelve because I already know all the words." Cocoa Jinx sighed. "And that I can only swear at home and can't swear in public until I'm sixteen."

"Too fucking right." Hazelnut Latte nodded. "Anyway, let's finish breakfast real quick and if we make it in time, I'll show you how the espresso machine works."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The bell at the door rang, signalling the arrival of the first customer. Hazelnut Latte, wearing her hat and apron uniform, smiled when the customer walked up to the counter. "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's!" she greeted. "What can I get you?"

The purple alicorn stared blarily at the brown mare. She had bags under her violet eyes and looked like she had been up all night, most likely reading. "I'll have a-" She paused to yawn. "a triple shot espresso and one of those poppy seed pastries that Morning Baker makes."

"Got it. Triple shot espresso and a poppy seed pastry." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Anything else?"

"No, that's it." Twilight Sparkle said, once again trying to cover a yawn.

"All right." Hazelnut Latte said. "Take a seat and I'll call your name when it's ready, miss..."

"Twilight Sparkle." the alicorn replied, not amused at the unicorn pretending not to know her name.

"Got it" Hazelnut Latte replied.

She watched Twilight sit down and got straight to work. The barista pony proved herself to be a master of her craft as she used the beautifully enameled machine to create a truly masterful triple shot espresso. She then retrieved a pastry, which she wrapped in paper and set on the counter next to the hot drink. "Your drink is ready!"

The cup had 'Twileet Sporkle' written on it. "Twilight Sparkle!" the alicorn groaned. "My name is Twilight Sparkle and you know it! Why do you keep getting ponies' names wrong? Oh, and how much do I owe you?"

"As per Cuppa Joe's regulations, I have to get at least one in three ponies' names wrong. Six bits for the coffee, four bits for the pastry." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Combine that with the going sales tax rate, that'll be eleven bits."

Twilight paid for her food and drink. She begrudgingly placed a few bits in the tip jar before picking her pastry and hot beverage up with her magic and heading over to a table to eat. As the sun rose over the horizon, the light shined through the window, hitting the alicorn directly in the face. The lavender mare brought her hooves up to shield her eyes from the light and let out a dramatic hiss, as if the sun was burning her. Cocoa Jinx, who was at another table doing her Prench homework, simply rolled her eyes.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was 8:30 AM and things were a bit slow. Most of her business was on week days, when ponies needed their pick-me-up before work. Not all were like that, though. One of her regulars usually showed up on weekend mornings when it was a bit quieter. The butter-yellow pegasus peeked out from behind her light pink forelocks. In a soft, almost timid voice, she said, "Um, I'd, ah, like two Anarchy Lattes. If that's not too much trouble."

Hazelnut Latte smiled reassuringly and said, "It's never too much trouble for one of my favorite customers, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy offered the unicorn a shy smile as she waited for the drinks. Two shots espresso, extra foam, one drop of chaos extract, and done. Hazelnut Latte set the drinks on the counter. One was labeled 'Butterscotch' and the other was labeled 'Discode'. Yeah, she had seen the Draconequus lurking at a table in the shop. "Eight bits apiece?" Fluttershy questioned, a slight smile on her face at the unicorn's deliberate antics.

"Eight bits for the first one and the second one is on the house." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin. "You've been here every Saturday and every Sunday for the past six months. I figure you deserve it."

Fluttershy let out a soft 'eep' and looked away. She took eight bits out and, just to be fair, put eight bits in the tip jar. Using one hoof to carry the tray of hot beverages, the butter-colored pegasus made her way over to the table where Discord was sitting. She slid the Anarchy Latte over to her friend before sitting down to enjoy her own latte and the company of the reformed but still very chaotic Draconequus. "Good morning, Discord." Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Good morning to you too, Fluttershy." Discord replied with a dramatic wave of his hand. He then took a sip of the coffee.

"Twilight says you haven't been making too much trouble this week." the pegasus said. "Well, not the dangerous kind. I know that you wouldn't do that."

"Dangerous? Moi?" Discord put his clawed hand on his chest, looking thoroughly scandalized.

"I told her that you weren't dangerous anymore." Fluttershy looked away, seemingly ashamed. "I shouldn't have raised my voice."

"Why dear Fluttershy, sometimes one must put their hoof down." Discord grinned. "Sometimes it's nice to change things up a bit."

Fluttershy hid behind her forelocks to hide the fact that she was blushing. Discord waved his hands, moving them expressively as he spoke. "I've noticed that you've been a bit distracted lately."

Fluttershy peeked out from behind her bangs and said, "Pretty Boy asked me out."

Discord scowled and took a sip of his coffee once more. He then looked at his friend and said, "I don't trust that stallion. His motives aren't pure. I know stallions and they want only one thing."

"What about you?" Fluttershy asked with one of her rare cheeky smiles.

"My dear, I am not a stallion. I am a Draconequus. I assure you, my intentions are pure." Discord replied, placing his lion's paw on his chest.

"Of course they are." Fluttershy smiled at Discord and said, "You are my best friend, after all."

In a low, gentle voice, Discord said, "You, dear Fluttershy, are assuredly my very best friend."

The pegasus and the Draconequus' eyes both met as they stared deeply into each other's eyes before quickly turning away and awkwardly sipping their drinks. Their eyes would meet periodically, but their gaze rarely locked for long.

Hazelnut Latte, who had been watching the whole thing, turned to look at her sister. With a knowing smile on her face, Cocoa Jinx silently mouthed, "Ship."

ooooooooooooooooo

It was 8:00 AM and more regulars were trickling in. A familiar pink pony whom Hazelnut Latte had never been able to shake entered the building. She bounced over to the counter and, in her typical high-pitched voice, said, "I'd like a Mocha Frosty Latte!"

With an amused expression on her face, Hazelnut Latte said, "Let me guess: decaf, just like last time?"

"Yeppers!" Pinkie Pie replied. "Applejack says that I don't need more caffeine!"

"Well, far be it from me to argue with Applejack." Hazelnut Latte smiled wryly.

"She's honest to the core!" Pinkie Pie said with a broad, almost manic grin. She slid five bits onto the counter and dropped two bits into the tip jar.

Meanwhile, Hazelnut Latte prepared the decaf Mocha Frosty Latte. When she was done, she gave it to the excitable earth pony. "Thank you!" Pinkie Pie chirped before bouncing away.

Hazelnut Latte shook her head. She would never understand that mare.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was 11 AM when a one of her other regulars arrived. She was an orange earth pony with a blonde mane. She had a white-coated unicorn with an immaculately coiffed mane with her. "I mean, if you were to take better care of your mane, surely more stallions would persue you!"

Applejack rolled her eyes and said, "I got plenty a' problems, but a stallion ain't one."

"I'm just saying, it's an option." Rarity huffed.

When the two arrived at the counter, Rarity turned to look at Hazelnut Latte. Their eyes met and the white unicorn seemed to be at loss for words. "I, uh..." she tried to say, but her words wouldn't come out.

Hazelnut Latte could see Rarity's contact lenses this close. She seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at the barista. A bit puzzled by this, Hazelnut Latte nonetheless greeted her. "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you?"

"I..." Rarity still wouldn't look at Hazelnut Latte.

Applejack rolled her eyes and said, "I'll have a cop a' coffee, black, and she'll have one of those cafey olay thingies."

"One black coffee and one Cafe Au Lait, coming right up!" Hazelnut Latte said with a grin. "Hold on tight and I'll have your order to you in no time!"

As was typical, Hazelnut Latte managed to balance speed and quality. A few minutes later, she returned with a cup of black coffee and a Cafe Au Lait. Rarity smiled at the barista before quickly looking away. Applejack rolled her eyes again and placed the appropriate number of bits on the counter. She put a few bits in the tip jar for good, prompt service before heading after Rarity to sit next to her. The conversation was too quiet for Hazelnut Latte to hear.

"Nice job, Rarity." Applejack said with a smile.

"What sort of thing did I no doubt preform excellently this time?" Rarity asked, using her magic to lift her coffee up to her lips.

"Ya did a good job at almost talkin' to the cute barista, for the twentieth time in a row." Applejack replied teasingly.

"I'll get around to it!" Rarity huffed.

"You've been saying that for the past five months." Applejack pointed out.

"Besides, even if I were interested in Hazel, I'm sure that finding the right stallion would sort me out!" Rarity said with a frown.

Applejack's mouth curled into a smirk resembling that of a cat who had gobbled down a particularly juicy canary. "You just called her Hazel."

"It means nothing!" Rarity protested.

"You like her." Applejack still had that shit-eating grin on her face.

"I like stallions!" Rarity insisted.

Applejack rolled her eyes. She remembered back when she tried to tell herself that. Now she spent most of her Saturday nights having fun at Ponyville's only 'mares only' bar, Silk & Feathers. It was run by a half-zebra, half-pegasus mare named Onda Rocks. Onda was a mare's mare, if you know what that implied. So were all of the patrons, including Applejack. It was a secret that the farmer kept well-hidden from the rest of Ponyville, including her friends. In Silk & Feathers, everyone knew her as Jaqueline. "Ya can just keep tellin' yerself that, Rarity." Applejack replied with an understanding smile.

"I'm not into mares like that." Rarity said, sounding ever so slightly desperate. "Really, I'm not."

Applejack placed a comforting hoof on Rarity's. "Trust me, Rarity. Ya ain't the first mare ta question her sexuality. If yer inta mares, I don't have a problem with that. If you want ta keep quiet about it, you don't have to worry 'bout me tellin' nopony."

Rarity's look got even more desperate. Applejack smiled reassuringly at her and said, "If ya do start questionin', I won't push ya. Sometimes it's somethin' you need to figure out on your own."

Rarity smiled at her honest friend. "I can always count on you when it comes to these things, Applejack."

Rarity took one last glance at Hazelnut Latte before returning her attention to her Cafe Au Lait. Cocoa Jinx, who had been watching the whole thing, glanced at her sister and then at Rarity. She hid her smile behind her mane as she returned her attention to her Prench homework. Under her breath, the filly whispered, "Ship."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was 11:15 when another regular came in. She was a cyan pegasus with a multicolored mane and a look of mischief about her. Hazelnut Latte smiled at her and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get for you?"

"Hey, Hazel!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash." Hazelnut Latte replied. "What can I get for you?"

"I'll have tea, hot." the pegasus replied. "Earl Grey with just a splash of milk."

Rarity and Applejack, who had just finished their conversation, turned to look at Rainbow Dash in shock. Somehow sensing their gaze, the cyan pegasus turned to look at her friends. "What?" she said, hoofs on her hips.

"It's just..." Rarity said, rather puzzled. "I don't understand."

"Just because I'm an athlete doesn't mean that I can't like tea!" Rainbow Dash huffed.

"It's just that tea is so sophisticated." Rarity said, "And you're, well... you."

"I can be sophisticated!" Rainbow Dash said. "I can be way sophisticated!"

"You can't even remember which fork to use!" Rarity retorted.

Their argument took a few minutes until an amused Hazelnut Latte spoke up. "Rainbow Dash, your sophisticated tea is ready."

Rainbow Dash glared at Rarity as she paid for her drink. The pegasus then headed over to the other side of the coffee shop to enjoy her tea. She could be sophisticated. She could totally be sophisticated! She could be the most sophisticated mare Rarity had ever seen! Besides, it was stupid to have that many forks for one meal.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was 2 PM and it was time for Hazelnut Latte to head home. She would be switching places with another employee of this particular Cuppa Joe's location. Her name was Lemongrass and she could make an amazing cup of tea, but she wasn't as good at coffee as Hazelnut Latte. Still, the lemon-yellow pegasus with the green, braided mane could make very good coffee.

Hazelnut Latte put her uniform in her locker before heading back in to retrieve her sister. "Come on, Cocoa Jinx. Let's head home. Since you've been so patient, I'll teach you how to make tea."

"I was just finishing my Prench homework anyway." Cocoa Jinx said as she packed her homework into a saddle bag.

"Well, homeward we go!" Hazelnut Latte said with a grin.

A few blocks away from Cuppa Joe's, Discord and Fluttershy were by Paige Turner's bookstore, Paige's Ponyville Pages. The pegasus and the Draconequus were making covert, almost subtle goo-goo eyes at each other when they thought that the other wasn't looking. Suddenly, a familiar voice ripped through the tranquility of the afternoon. "Heathens!" a white earth pony stallion with a curly, grey mane spoke up. He had a black and white collar on. "How dare you sully these streets with your unnatural association!"

Discord let out a groan of annoyance and Fluttershy let out a dismayed sigh. "Bookburner." the Draconequus grumbled under his breath.

"Um," Fluttershy said softly, "Reverend Bookbinder, we weren't trying to be in the way. We were just heading into the bookstore to buy a cookbook."

"If you do not leave this creature, your union will bring no good to this place!" Reverend Bookbinder continued. "Deity forbid that his monstrous seed takes root in your womb!"

Discord and Fluttershy turned red and tried to look anywhere but at each other. Rarity had once said that if those two idiots didn't figure out how they felt about each other, she was 90% sure that they would never have children. That odd 10% was the stipulation that alcohol and a poorly-advised one-night stand might be involved. "I think it's a bit early to be thinking about tha-" Discord tried to say, but Reverend Bookbinder interrupted him again.

"They will be abominations! Abominations!" Reverent Bookbinder ranted. "Their birth will be the precursor to an era of wickedness that will spread immorality in this town like a disease!"

"Okay, that's taking it a bit too far." Fluttershy sounded kind of annoyed.

"That sort of mixing is against the Deity's plan!" Bookbinder raved. "Two different species were not meant to mix! Such things lead to the establishment of that den of depravity, Silk & Feathers!" Bookbinder spoke the name of the bar with a tone reserved to somepony speaking of something foul and disgusting.

A striped, winged zony known as Onda Rocks stuck her head out from inside Paige's Ponyville Pages and shouted, "Racist!"

Poking her head out from a cloud hovering just over Ponyville, Rainbow Dash shouted, "Is Bookburner being annoying again?"

"It's Reverend Bookbinder!" the stallion shouted. "I am trying to save these ponies from depravity! This mare must be stopped from spawning abominations!"

Discord stepped forward and picked Bookbinder up by the collar, yanking him up so his hooves were dangling and the two were face to face. In a voice filled with barely restrained anger, the Draconequus said, "Shut up. Right now. Me and Fluttershy's hypothetical offspring would not be abominations!" He glared fiercely at the earth pony. Discord's eyes narrowed. "Consider yourself extremely fortunate that I am reformed. You don't want to know what I would do to you if I wasn't. Now, I'm going to say this very nicely. Leave my friends alone."

The Draconequus released the stallion's collar, allowing him to plummet to the ground from his considerable height. He wasn't injured. Instead, he stood up. He pointed a hoof at Onda Rocks and said, "You are also seducing this creature, aren't you?"

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Onda grumbled under her breath, facehoofing.

"One last warning." Discord growled.

It was not the Draconequus that caused the stallion to cower. Instead, it was Fluttershy. She was giving him the Stare, which was filled with all the intensity that she could muster. Bookbinder gulped audibly before galloping away. Fluttershy's expression returned to its usual one. In a soft tone, the pink-maned pegasus asked, "Are you, um, with Onda, Discord?"

Discord rolled his eyes and scoffed. "That mare? No way. I'd be barking up the wrong tree anyway."

"What?" Fluttershy questioned.

"She has a malfunctioning GAYDAR!" Rainbow Dash shouted from the cloud.

Discord smiled at Fluttershy and said, "Why, dear Fluttershy, it would be impossible for Onda Rocks and I to be together."

"Because she's sort of a pony?" Fluttershy asked, hiding behind her bangs so her face wouldn't show.

"Nope." Discord replied. "Onda Rocks is gayer than a spring breeze."

Fluttershy's attention shot at Onda. The zony just smiled and said, "Why else do you think that I run a mares-only bar?"

Fluttershy was not upset by this. She simply said, "Oh."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was 4 PM when Hazelnut Latte and Cocoa Jinx were finished making a pot of jasmine tea. The mint-green filly took a sip and grimaced. "This tastes funny." she said.

"It'll grow on you." Hazelnut Latte said with a smile.

After a few more sips, Cocoa Jinx looked up at her sister and said, "Yeah, I think it is growing on me."

"Good." the older unicorn replied. "This stuff takes a while to make. If the water is too hot, it ruins the flavor."

"That's good to know." the younger unicorn said. "I'd hate to ruin this tea. It's a shame I didn't get my Cutie Mark in tea-making, though."

Hazelnut latte smiled and said, "Some good things are worth the wait."

"Like ships?" Cocoa Jinx said with a grin.

Hazelnut Latte laughed and said, "I was referring to Cutie Marks!"

"Well, ships are still important." the filly said insistantly.

"Relationships are overrated." Hazelnut Latte said with a scoff.

"You're still upset about the thing with Pepper Mist." Cocoa Jinx said.

"I went to confront her about her cheating on me with a stallion and her dad maced me in the face!" Hazelnut Latte argued. "With an actual mace!"

"Well, thanks to your quick magic reflexes, all you got was a bloody nose and broken glasses, right?" Cocoa Jinx pointed out.

"I should have pressed charges." Hazelnut Latte huffed. She then looked away and grumbled, "I liked those glasses!"

"What about Glitterella?" Cocoa Jinx asked.

"She decided that she was too 'upper class' for me." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Well, that and her parents threatened to cut her off if she kept dating me."

"You almost married Crimson Lippy." Cocoa Jinx pointed out.

"She bailed at the last second." Hazelnut Latte said. "She said that she wasn't interested in being a stepmother because she 'couldn't love a child that wasn't actually hers'."

"Good riddence, then!" Cocoa Jinx exclaimed. She then asked, "What about Lavender Essence?"

"She went full woo and decided that vaccines were evil and the government was out to enslave us. Tried to talk me into a coffee enema." Hazelnut Latte shook her head. "Sacrilege! What kind of monster would do that to perfectly good coffee? Then came the essential oil pyramid scheme. She knows that you have asthma and she still wanted to put those things in the air! To top it all off, she said that my vision problems were the result of 'vaccine injury' and tried to 'detox' me with kale, colloidal silver, and yes- enemas!"

A look of horror was on Cocoa Jinx's face. Hazelnut Latte cleared her throat and asked, "Was the enema thing too much?"

"No." Cocoa Jinx said. "It's just mind-boggling that someone could be that stupid."

"It's a stupid, stupid world out there, Kiddo." Hazelnut Latte said with a sad smile.

"We can't escape it anywhere, can we?" Cocoa Jinx sighed.

"Yep." Hazelnut Latte replied. "It's even here, in the form of a fire and brimstone proselytizer."

"Who, Reverend Bookbinder?" Cocoa Jinx questioned.

Hazelnut Latte nodded. Cocoa Jinx then said, "Yeah, he's a fucking cunt."

"Cocoa Jinx!" Hazelnut Latte scolded.

"I know, I know." Cocoa Jinx sighed. "Not until I'm twelve, and only at home until I'm sixteen."

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

"You listen to Trotter Swift?" Hazelnut Latte raised a brow.

Discord pouted and said, "I don't. Fluttershy listens to Trotter Swift. I try to ignore it. I'm more of a Motörhoof kind of guy."

"I've never heard of Motörhoof." Hazelnut Latte admitted.

Chapter 10: Five Accidental Kisses and One Not-So-Accidental One

The funeral and reception had gone off without a hitch. Everypony had a good time and Pinkie Pie couldn't have been more pleased. The reception had been held at the home of Lady Garden's grandfather, Candle Flicker. Most of the guests had left, leaving behind Candle Flicker, Lady Garden, and Big Macintosh. The trio had watched everypony leave. After a momentary silence, Candle Flicker spoke up. "Well, it was a good funeral. Bean would've approved." the elderly earth pony said. He looked over at a piece of furniature and sighed.

"You okay, Grandpa?" Lady Garden asked.

"Just never thought ah'd bury yer pa and yer husband less than two years apart." Candle Flicker explained. "See that over there? It's a humidor. Yer pa and ah were gonna smoke a couple cigars when you and Herb Garden eventualy had a few young'uns."

"Yeah." Lady Garden said softly. "Everypony liked Herb."

Big Macintosh nodded and said, "Eeyup. Ah never seen you smile like you did when you married Herb Garden."

Candle Flicker chuckled and said, "Little Missy here, the funny thing, surprised everypony when she made you her, ah think the word she used was 'Stallion of Honor'. 'Course, you remember that 'cause you were there. Yer lucky she didn't make you wear a dress!"

Big Macintosh nodded awkwardly and said, "Eeyup."

"The fascinator was a bit much, though." Candle Flicker added. "Of course, yer the one who chose ta wear it."

"Grandpa!" Lady Garden hissed.

"Well, it's true." Candle Flicker shrugged. He then chuckled wistfully and said, "Herb Garden was a good match for you. Funny thing is that yer pa and ah always half-expected you to end up marryin' Mac over here."

Candle Flicker elbowed the larger stallion good-naturedly, which just seemed to embarrass Big Macintosh further. "Grandpa, yer bein' silly." Lady Garden rolled her eyes.

"Well, we did." Candle Flicker said with a smile. "After all, you two were best friends growin' up. Ah remember you two playin' house and Mac was pretendin' to be 'Macintosh Flicker'."

Big Macintosh looked like he was feeling extremely awkward. "I remember, Grandpa." Lady Garden said. "We were just foals back then. 'Sides, I ain't really in the datin' pool right now."

"Bah!" Candle Flicker waved his hoof dismissively. "Yer only in yer thirties, Little Missy. Ya got plenty of time to find sompony. Herb Garden wouldn't want ya to be unhappy. Anyways, do either of ya want a cigar?"

"Ah don't smoke." Big Mac admitted.

"Really?" Candle Flicker raised a brow. "Ah seen yer granny smokin' a cigar every now and again. If ya change yer mind, mah offer still stands. They're good 'uns. Ah got 'em from Aroma Cigar Shop and Lounge. It's a nice place in Canterlot, run by a nice stallion named Robusto. He knows his cigars."

Lady Gardern rolled her eyes. "You and yer cigars, Grandpa!"

"If or when ya ever get married again, ah'll get out the real good cigars and we'll have a smoke together." Candle Flicker said with a smile. "Don't deny it, ah seen ya buyin' a couple at Grand Corona's place. Ta be honest, he ain't as good as Robusto."

"I ain't gonna talk about cigars right now." Lady Garden said insistantly.

Candle Flicker chuckled and said, "All right. Anyway, it's gettin' late and you two should get home." He looked at Big Macintosh and said, "Ya'd better get mah granddaughter home safely, ya hear?"

Big Macintosh nodded and said, "Eeyup. Ah mean, yes sir."

"Good." Candle Flicker said as he guided them to the door. "Y'all have a safe night, alright?"

Lady Garden smiled and said, "Good night, Grandpa!"

With that, Big Macintosh and Lady Garden headed off. Most of the trip went in comfortable silence before the red stallion spoke up. "Ah'm really sorry about Herb."

Lady Garden smiled and said, "It's not yer fault, Mac. You couldn't have known that the cart weel would break. You didn't push him off the bridge."

Big Macintosh looked away and said, "Ah should've checked that cart better."

"Mac, it was a freak accident." Lady Garden said.

"It still ain't fair that yer alone." Big Macintosh said softly.

"Like I said at Grandpa's, I ain't exactly in the datin' pool." Lady Garden said, looking away.

Big Macintosh cleared his throat and said, "Well, maybe ya should consider it?"

"It ain't proper." Lady Garden replied. "Mah husband has been dead for less than two years."

"Herb Garden never cared 'bout proper." Big Mac replied. "He wouldn't mind if ya moved on."

"Mac, there ain't nopony out there who could replace Herb." Lady Garden said, sounding a bit irritated.

"Ain't nopony askin' ya ta replace Herb." Big Mac said. "Maybe ya could find somepony who loved ya just as much as Herb did?"

"Is there even a pony like that out there?" Lady Garden questioned.

Big Mac shuffled his hooves awkwardly. "There could be." he replied.

"I've never looked." Lady Garden said softly. "'Sides, I'm a used-up widow and there are plenty of fresh-faced, young, single mares out there to pick from. Who would love a used-up widow like me?"

Big Mac stopped walking. In a soft voice, barely more than a whisper, the stallion said, "Ah would."

Lady Garden froze. She slowly turned around and asked, "What was that?"

Big Mac looked up and met her eyes. "Ya heard me."

"You didn't just say what I thought I heard you say." Lady Garden frowned. "Ya can't have meant it."

"Ah ain't gonna lie to ya." Big Mac said honestly. "Ah love you."

In a soft, weak voice, Lady Garden asked, "For how long?"

"Since we were fifteen." Big Macintosh admitted.

Lady Garden shook her head. "It ain't possible. Yer the finest stallion and farm pony that Ponyville has ever seen. Why would you love a pony who can't even farm?"

Big Mac frowned. "Now you see here! Ya got a smile that could light up half a' Equestria an' a heart just as big. Yer eyes sparkle when yer happy and when ah see ya like that, it's like seein' the stars. Ya been mah best friend since ah was eight years old. Yer smart, yer funny, and yer darn good at makin' ponies feel better. It's like ya make everypony want to be better, go grow like those pea plants that ya grow." He looked the mare directly in the eyes. "Ah love you, Firefly Flicker!"

Lady Garden froze for a while before saying, "Say that again."

"Ah love you." Big Macintosh stated once more.

"Not that." Lady Garden corrected. "Mah Name."

"Firefly Flicker." Big Macintosh repeated.

"Firefly Flicker." Lady Garden said softly as the two began walking again. "Nopony has called me that in a while. For ten years, I was 'Lady Garden'. I wouldn't change those years with Herb Garden, not at all. It's just that I haven't been... I haven't been me anymore. Herb never wanted that. It's just that his parents..."

"You'll always be Firefly Flicker to me." Big Mac said with a smile. "It wouldn't hurt ya to be Firefly Flicker again."

Lady Garden was silent for a while as they walked. Soon, they reached the Flicker Plantation. They stopped by the front porch when they reached the house. The buttermilk-colored mare turned to face her best friend of so many years. "Are ya sure that you feel that way about me?" she asked. "I mean, I've already been married once."

"Ah know Herb and ah know that he would've wanted ya to move on." Big Macintosh said with a smile. "Ah wouldn't mind bein' the one ya move on to." He looked at her shyly. "If you'll have me."

Lady Garden- no, Firefly Flicker looked up at the big stallion and smiled. "If I were to pick anypony, it would be you. Mac, ya know me better than even Herb did."

Big Macintosh smiled at his old friend. Firefly Flicker smiled back. She looked over at the door before looking at the stallion. "Would you like to come in?" she asked. "I'll get a couple a' cold beers out a' the fridge an' we can just talk."

Big Macintosh smiled wider and said, "Eeyup."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two Weeks Later

Twilight let out a huff as she tried once again in vain to find a way to reverse the Switcharoo Punch's effects. As knowledgable as she was about magic, the issue with Cutie Marks was outside her area of expertese. The alicorn grumbled under her breath as she put away her books and started mopping up the floor. A crystal castle tended to show dirt easily. After spending a few minutes washing the floor, Twilight heard the sound of hoofsteps approaching. She looked up to see Sugar Shock standing at the edge of the room. The unicorn smiled and asked, "Have you had any luck?"

Twilight sighed and said, "No. How about you?"

"Me neither." Sugar Shock replied. "It would be easier to find things if everything was organized better."

Twilight shot her temporary roommate a halfhearted glare. "I told you, Sugar Shock, I have a system."

"If by 'system', you mean 'disorganized mess', then I agree." Sugar Shock said with a smirk.

"It's not my fault that you can't find anything." Twilight argued.

"Yeah, well you haven't been able to find anything, either." Sugar Shock shot back.

"With as many books that are in here, it could take me months to get through them all." Twilight admitted.

"Well, we've been stuck like this for fifteen days." Sugar Shock said helpfully. "The antidote to the Switcharoo Punch should be arriving in another 45 days."

"That's a month and a half from now!" Twilight groaned, leaning on the mop. "I have to find a spell before the- WAAAAH!"

Twilight's weight shifted, causing her to slip on the wet floor. She landed flat on her back and for a moment, she could see stars. She heard Sugar Shock call out, "Twilight!"

The confectioner rushed towards the fallen alicorn, only to slip on the floor. She flew through the air before landing on Twilight, knocking the wind out of them both. They were nose to nose and struggling to breathe. The lavender alicorn attempted to move, but instead she only succeeded in moving her face closer to Sugar Shock's. For five long seconds, their lips touched. Then they heard a loud gasp coming from across the room. They turned to see Sugar Shock's identical twin sister. Hazelnut Latte stared at Twilight Sparkle and Sugar Shock. The barista's wide-eyed gaze lingered and was starting to make everypony uncomfortable. Finally, Hazelnut Latte spoke up. "Just what the fuck are you two doing?!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Sugar Shock said defensively. "It's not what you think!"

"I'm not gay!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" Hazelnut Latte raised a brow. "It certainly looked like what I think it looked like."

"I was running and I fell on her!" Sugar Shock tried to persuade her sister.

"The floor was wet!" Twilight added.

"The floor was wet and you 'fell' on Twilight and you happened to land with your mouth on hers?" Hazelnut Latte seemed amused at this.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Sugar Shock argued. "The floor was really, really wet!"

Spike walked into the room. As he was walking, he spotted Hazelnut Latte and waved at her. "Hey, Hazel!"

Suddenly, Spike slipped and landed on his face. "Ow!" He groaned. "Stupid wet floor!"

Hazelnut Latte turned to look at the two mares. "Okay, so the floor was wet. Consider yourself two lucky ponies that I don't have a camera with me."

A cheerful, high-pitched voice suddenly said, "I do!"

Twilight shoved Sugar Shock off of her and shouted, "For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!"

"Cheesy Louisey!" Pinkie Pie said. "No need to shout, Twilight! You can take your time. When you eventually do come out, everypony will be here to support you!"

Twilight managed to get back on her hooves. She took a deep, deep breath before bellowing, "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'M NOT GAY!"

Pinkie Pie giggled and said, "Okie Dokie, Twilight! I've got some stuff to do. Pinkie stuff! It's the 42nd weekly anniversary of that Tuesday when I tried peanut butter cups for the first time! I have a party to plan!"

With that said, the pink earth pony bounced away. Sugar Shock raised a brow and said, "Oookay..."

Hazelnut Latte sighed and said, "I'll make sure she stays out of trouble. You remember last Tuesday Peanut Butter Cup party."

Both Twilight and Sugar Shock had full-body shudders. The lavender alicorn looked at Hazelnut Latte and said, "Please do. The fate of Ponyville may count on it."

Hazelnut Latte nodded and left the castle to head after Pinkie Pie. She hoped that she wouldn't be too late.

ooooooooooooooo

Pinkie Pie pranced through the streets of Ponyville, smiling at all the happy things around her. All of the other ponies were smiling and had big, sparkly anime eyes. She was humming quietly and she was happy, happy, happy! She had an amazingtastic party to plan. She would invite all of her friends and make a peanut butter pie and build a party bomb, just like she did last time. Suddenly, she heard the sound of hooves pounding the ground as somepony glalloped to her. Pinkie Pie turned around and saw Hazelnut Latte standing behind her. "Pinkie Pie," Hazelnut Latte said, "You can't use the party bomb."

"Why not?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Last time, it covered half of ponyville in confetti, streamers, and hard candy. Thirty ponies were injured." Hazelnut Latte replied. "Six of them were seriously injured! Do you know what hard candies projected in a high speed in all directions can do if they hit a pony?"

Pinkie Pie cringed. "Oh." she said. "I hadn't really thought of that."

"You can still use your party cannon." Hazelnut Latte Suggested. "Just don't put hard candy in it."

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie was right in front of Hazelnut Latte. They were literally nose to nose. "Really?!" Pinkie Pie shreiked happily. "I can use my party cannon?"

Hazelnut Latte, in a surprisingly calm voice, asked, "Pinkie, do you remember what I told you about personal space?"

"Nope!" Pinkie Pie replied with a grin.

Hazelnut Latte's eyes darted around as she saw other ponies passing closer. Clearly they were there to check out what Pinkie Pie was doing. Suddenly, someone bumped into Hazelnut Latte from behind, forcing her lips against the pink earth pony's. Because Pinkie was Pinkie, she slipped the brown-made unicorn a little tongue. Hazelnut Latte stepped back. The expression on her face was that of somepony who was extremely surprised. Pinkie Pie, however, seemed completely unaffected. She grinned once more and said, "You're invited to the party!"

Pinkie then began to prance away, leaving a confused and slightly traumatized Hazelnut Latte behind.

ooooooooooooooooo

Applejack, AKA Jaqueline La Pomme, was currently in Canterlot and she had one objective in mind. She was going to buy a new outfit. She was currently wearing a leaf green, floral print bell sleeve boho midi dress. She also wore a brown fedora. As she walked into Tuille Cascade's Fine Mare's Ware, she spotted a somewhat familiar honey-colored pony with a black mane. Her Cutie Mark was a microphone that was striped like a bee and had bee-like wings on the sides. She recognized her as the lead vocalist of the Bee's Knees, Honey Potts. Inside, Applejack was squeeing. Being in the presence of one of her favorite musicians, the blonde mare lowered the brim of her hat to try not to look at Honey Potts. However, before she knew it, Honey Potts was right in front of her. The dark-hared pegasus grinned broadly and said, "Hey there, babe!"

Before Applejack Could say anything, the singer lifted her hat and pressed her lips to hers. Applejack froze. Honey Pots slipped her tongue into Applejack's mouth, creating a situation far too intimate for her to react. She then heard Tuille Cascade say, "You two behave or get out of my shop."

Honey Potts backed off and saw that Applejack wasn't who she thought she was. The pegasus mare got a horrified look on her face and stepped away. "I'm so, so sorry!" She apologized. "I thought you were my fiancee!"

Applejack laughed nervously. There was a resemblance betwen her and Honey Potts' fiancee, Sugar Cookie. They had the same color of mane and coat and they were both earth ponies, but Sugar Cookie didn't have freckles and had purple eyes. Applejacke cleared her throat and said, "It's, ah, an easy mistake to make."

"It's still no excuse." Honey Potts said. "I should have checked to make sure that you were her."

"Well, ah forgive you." Applejack replied.

Honey Potts nodded and got a better look at Applejack. She smiled and said, "It's Jaqueline, right?"

"Yeah." Applejack said. "Jaqueline La Pomme."

"Well, Jaqueline La Pomme, is there anything additional that I can do to apologize?" Honey Potts asked.

Applejack thought about it for a while before coming up with something. "Well, ah was wonderin' if you could play Wing of Flier at your next performance at the Silk & Feathers." Applejack said. "It's mah favorite song."

Honey Potts grinned and said, "I'll talk to the girls about it. I'm pretty sure that Clover Honey, Honey Bunch, Busy Bee, and Bumblefuzz will approve."

Applejack couldn't help but grin back. "Whatever ya play, ah just like seein' the Bee's Knees perform."

"Well, Jaqueline, I'll leave you to get your dress." Honey Potts said. "I hope that you'll be there next time we're at the Silk & Feathers. See ya!"

Honey Potts then turned to leave. Even after she was gone, the grin was still on her face. Even if it had been accidental, she had still been kissed by Honey Potts, lead vocalist of the Bee's Knees. Now she just needed to find a good dress to wear at their next performance.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was another ordinary day for Fluttershy. This time, however, she was house-sitting for Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus was off in San Franciscolt for some sort of flier's competition. Naturaly, Fluttershy offered to house-sit as well as watch Tank. She was currently feeding the turtle. "It's time for your meal, Tank." she said softly. "Yummy, yummy. It's good for a turtle."

Tank looked at the yellow pegasus before heading down to eat his food. Fluttershy watched for a while, feeling quite pleased. She then headed off to clean the house a bit. Even Rainbow Dash's home was not immune to dirt. Fluttershy turned the radio on and it began to play a classic rock station. She then began to sweep the floor while humming along to the music. After a few minutes, she heard someone knocking on the door. She headed over to open it to see Discord, still trapped in the form of Roguish Jape. "Oh!" Fluttershy said. "Discord, what are you doing here?"

"I ran out of pranks to use on ponies that annoyed me." Discord replied. "I'm taking a break for a few hours while I come up with more. I thought I would visit you while I was at it."

"Oh, Discord, that's not really necessary." Fluttershy said shyly. "There's not really anything going on here. I'm just cleaning a bit and listening to the radio."

"Well, I'll just head in and listen to the radio, then." Discord replied. "Music can be my muse."

The lanky pegasus then headed into Rainbow Dash's house. He listened to the music and frowned. "Not my kind of music." He said.

Discord then headed over to the radio and began fiddling with the dials until a metal station began to play. The song playing was by one of his favorite bands, Motörhoof. He began to rock out to the music. "Now this is music!" Discord exclaimed.

"It's too loud." Fluttershy said.

The butter-colored mare then headed over to the radio and started trying to change the station. She and Discord squabbled over the station for a while until a song finally started to play. It was Barry Maneilow's I Can't Smile Without You. Fluttershy blushed faintly and said, "This is probably the kind of music that they'll play at the Autumn Equinox ball."

Discord raised a brow. "You were invited?"

"Yeah." Fluttershy replied. "Countess High Born and I like to play chess together. She said that I should take a plus one."

"Did you have somepony in mind?" Discord asked. He frowned and continued, "Pretty Boy, perhaps?"

"Oh, no." Fluttershy replied. "I was thinking about inviting you. You're my best friend."

Discord blushed slightly before clearing his throat. "Well, I'd be happy to go with you, Fluttershy."

"Thank you!" Fluttershy beamed at Discord, causing him to blush.

The yellow peagasus turned away and sighed. "I don't really know how to dance, though."

Discord chuckled and said, "Fortunately, I do. Perhaps I should give you a few pointers?"

"Oh, that would be nice." Fluttershy replied. "If it's not too much trouble, that is."

"It's no problem at all." Discord said with a smirk, which in turn made Fluttershy blush.

Discord turned the volume to the radio up. "All right." he said. "Let's take it from the top. I'll lead."

Slowly, the two began to dance. It was a bit awkward at first, but eventually Fluttershy became more familiar with the motions. Discord was quite pleased at her progress. "All right," he said, "now I'll show you a little thing called waltzing."

The two began to dance again, Discord demonstrating his superb dancing techniques. Fluttershy couldn't help but meet her best friend's eyes. When she saw the charming smirk on his face, she blushed even harder. She wanted to... well, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. Was she going to kiss him? Was she a kisser? Was Discord a kisser? Her thoughts were interrupted once more when somepony knocked at the door. Discord stepped back and Fluttershy had to suppress a sigh of disappointment. She headed over to the door to see what it was. When she opened the door, she heard a shout of, "Surprise!"

Suddenly, somepony was kissing her. Fluttershy quickly pulled away and saw a royal blue pegasus stallion with a cyan mane. It was Rainbow Dash's somewhat secret coltfriend, Free Fall. The cyan mare was rather gregarious about her public life, but she was somewhat tight-lipped regarding her personal life. Fluttershy was one of the few ponies who knew that Rainbow Dash had a coltfriend. Both ponies stared wide-eyed for a split second before Free Fall stammered, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Fluttershy! I thought you were Rainbow Dash! I came back early and I thought I would surprise her and you were here..."

Fluttershy cleared her throat and said, "Apology accepted. You meant no harm."

Free Fall smiled and said, "Thank you. Though I should probably go. Your coltfriend looks like he wants to murder me. Slowly."

"He's not my-" Fluttershy tried to say, but Free Fall flew away before she could finish.

She turned to look at Discord, who refused to look at her. "It's obvious." he said. "Why would I be your coltfriend? I'm not your type."

Fluttershy sighed softly and said, "Right. We're just friends."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few extremely tense hours later, somepony knocked on the door again. Fluttershy opened the door and a rainbow and cyan blur shot past her. Rainbow Dash squealed and hugged Tank. "How's my boy doing!" She cooed.

Tank rubbed happily nuzzled his owner. Fluttershy couldn't help but smile. It was clear to anypony who saw them that Rainbow Dash absolutely adored Tank. She wouldn't show it to this extent in public, but this display made it very clear. The rainbow-maned mare turned to Fluttershy and said, "Thanks for watching my house and Tank!"

Fluttershy smiled softly and said, "Oh, it was no trouble. No trouble at all."

It was then that Rainbow Dash seemed to notice Discord. She smirked and said, "Oh, hello. I see you two are both here. I hope you kids behaved and didn't make a mess of my house."

Fluttershy and Discord both blushed vividly. "The house was cleaned." Fluttershy said awkwardly. "Discord was very well behaved."

"Since when have I proven otherwise?" Discord asked. He paused and added, "Don't answer that. Anyway, you're quite the pony to call us kids. You're six months younger than Fluttershy and you don't need to guess how much older than you I am."

"You don't look that old." Rainbow Dash said with a smile. "In this form, you look young enough to be Fluttershy's father."

Discord grimaced. Did she really need to say that? He cleared his throat and said, "Well, I'd best be on my way. Places to be, ponies to prank. It is supposed to be my special talent, after all."

"All right." Rainbow Dash said. "Try not to cause too much trouble."

Discord smirked and said, "I make no promises."

Rainbow Dash laughed and said, "Get out of my house, you maniac!"

Discord smirked again before turning to leave the house. Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash and said, "I should probably leave, too."

"All right." Rainbow Dash said. "See you later."

Fluttershy nodded before taking wing and heading home.

Discord flew slowly enough for Fluttershy to keep up. This was interesting because initially, he had been awkward on his wings. He had admitted that it had been a very, very long time since he had actually used his wings to fly. After a while, they landed outside of Fluttershy's house. They butter-colored mare smiled at the dark-maned stallion and said, "Thank you for keeping me company, Discord."

Discord smiled and said, "Think nothing of it. I had a few hours to kill anyway."

"Thank you anyway." Fluttershy said.

She then leaned up to give Discord a peck on the cheek. Not realizing what she was doing, he turned his head to say something to her. He did this action just in time for their lips to touch. Just as he was unconsciously leaning in to deepen the kiss, Fluttershy backed away. Her face was beet red, and his face probably wasn't much different. She looked away and whispered, "Good night, Discord."

The mare then hurried into her home before slamming the door shut behind her. A wide-eyed Discord brought his hoof up to his lips. In a soft voice, he said, "Good night, Fluttershy."

oooooooooooooooooo

The Next Day

All of the girls had discussed the accidental kisses from the other day. Well, with the exeption of Fluttershy. Applejack placed a hoof on the table and solumnly said, "This looks like an occasion for apple pie."

"Ooh, I love pie!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"You love anything with sugar in it." Sugar Shock rolled her eyes.

"It's still good." Pinkie Pie said defensively.

"It is good." Applejack agreed. "Now come one, everypony! Let's head to the farm and I'll make you my famous apple pie."

"That sounds wonderful." Twilight said with a smile.

Fluttershy, the twins, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack headed over to the Apple Family Farm. Applejack quickly let herself in. The living room was between where they were and the kitchen. "All right, follow me." Applejack said.

The mares headed into the living room only to find a very unsurprising sight. Big Mac and Firefly Flicker were on the large sofa. Their hooves were all over each other and their lips were mashed together in deep, heated kisses. Fluttershy turned away, blushing vividly. The twins each covered one of Twilight's eyes. Applejack stared on in horror. Nopony really noticed the flash of light as Pinkie Pie photographed Bic Macintosh and Firefly Flicker passionately necking.

Author's Note

A scene from the next chapter:

Applejack groaned and buried her face in her hooves. "Ah really didn't need ta see that!"

Sugar Shock gave the farm pony a comforting pat on the back. "It could be worse." she said. "I've seen worse. At least you didn't walk in on your sibling and his marefriend fu-"

Applejack brought her hooves up to her ears and shouted, "LALALALALA! Ah'm not listenin'!"

Hazelnut Latte turned bright red as she glared at her twin. "I thought I heard something."

"I didn't need to see you and your marefriend doing that." Sugar Shock said with a frown. She shuddered and added, "Mine eyes have seen things that I cannot unsee..."

"Has anything like this happened to you, Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Nope." Twilight replied. "My parents always taught me the value of knocking."