How To Catch An Applejack
Author's Note
Okay, so I kinda lied about having The 'Shy' in 'Fluttershy' being my last story! Sue me. But seriously, I thought Rainbow Dash Wants a Hug From Applejack was bad before I wrote this, and you know something? This story was written in the span of maybe about half an hour. I had to get it out, so judge for yourself!
How To Catch An Applejack
You sat behind a tree in Sweet Apple Acres, skulking in the shadow that its canopy of thick, rich green leaves produced. In your hand, you held a fishing rod that you had taken from the barn just beside the farm's main residence. None of the Apple family will miss it for the duration that you needed it for, anyway.
Speaking of the Apple family, your reason for being on their land was to prove a point to Rainbow Dash. It was only a regular weekend routine for both yourself and Rainbow Dash to get together like good friends do.
You'd take turns picking an activity to do while you spent the day together, capping the night with a friendly round of drinks at one of the local taverns. You didn't drink much when you were back on Earth, but ever since you met Rainbow and her friends, the two of you began to hang out more, and you found yourself to become more social and open. If anything, you had developed a little soft spot for the rainbow-maned mare.
You weren't sure what it was about her that made her more easy to talk to, but if you had to guess, you'd say it was because she acted more like the guys that you were used to hanging around with at college. Besides, Dash's company was always fun, at least, for a girl. Most girls that you knew were always so shy and quiet, and they wouldn't dare approach you, but with Dash, it was different.
Sitting together at the bar, you had both indulged into a number of rounds of cider, a drink that you blamed Rainbow for having become addicted to, and you were making small-talk. You spoke about friends, family, hopes, dreams and all of the good pranks that Dash had pulled over her friends, such as the whoopee cushion that she had placed beneath Twilight's smooth rump.
Speaking about pranks, in your drunken state, you leaned towards Dash and wrapped an arm around her shoulder in a clumsy manner, accidentally knocking her mug of half-drank cider, before saying to her, ''I bet I can catch Applejack with an apple.''
Rainbow Dash naturally laughed at your bogus claim before she took another long swig from her mug and smacked it down onto the counter of the bar, asking for another round. Once she had a sip of her freshly-topped-up mug, she decided to make a small wager on your claim by making a bet.
Rainbow Dash even put in her own two cents for if you couldn't live up to your word. She said, ''If you fail, then you'll have to do whatever I tell you to do for an entire week. What do you say?''
To make the bet official, Rainbow decided to seal the deal with one of her spit-in-hoof hoofshakes, and, being as drunk as you were, you obliged without question, much to the cyan mare's pleasure.
You weren't entirely sure what it was with the Apple family, but, true to their name, they were all entirely obsessed with apples. Not just the fruit, but the smell, taste, texture and varieties. Even all of their names were apple-related! Braeburn, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, Macintosh, Gala, the list goes on! It was like a religion, or something so close to religion that it was hard to tell them apart!
Applejack even smelled like apples! Not only from working on an apple farm, but from using apple-related products, starting from an apple-scented shampoo and conditioner and apple tooth paste! Applejack was even known for her famous apple pies, much like Granny Smith was known for her zap apple jam. You couldn't even tell if it was only a love of apples and apple-related products or an addiction, but your money was on the latter.
If you remembered correctly, there was this one pony in particular that Applejack had a slight grudge with known as Strawberry Sunrise, the pony that, much like her name suggests, is addicted to strawberries and despises all other fruits. Especially apples.
From you vantage point behind the tree, you peered your head around to view Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom finishing up with the harvest, both of them hauling large, wooden baskets filled with an abundance of apples of various colours into the barn. Along with them was your prize: Applejack.
You had your keen eyes trained onto her as if you were a timberwolf stalking a little filly that wandered into the Everfree Forest and couldn't find her way back out. Even from your distance, you saw that her orange coat and blonde mane was matted with sweat and entangled with scraps of tree bark and leaves from the day's labour.
You watched silently as she entered the barn with her own bounty of apples, coming out moments later after dropping it off along with her other two siblings' harvest. She pulled the Stetson off of her head and waved it in front of her sweaty face, wafting cool air into it to bring down her hot temperature while she regained her breath.
As she replaced the hat to her head of blonde mane, you looked to the fishing rod in your hand. On the end of it, there was a shiny red apple with a green leaf hanging from the stem, the fishing line wrapped securely around the apple and dangling from the end. Staring into it, you saw your reflection.
Your blue eyes were keen and frosty while your lips were tugged into a confident smile. You brushed your hand over your head of short black hair and said to yourself, ''Alright, Rainbow Dash, get ready to lose a bet!''
Ever so quietly, you looked back around the trunk of the thick tree you were hiding behind and stared back towards Applejack. Applejack was finishing up with shutting the barn doors and readying herself to turn in after a day of hard work. If you were going to carry out the bet, then you knew that acting on it now would be the perfect time, lest you lose to Rainbow Dash, and you were not so happy to admit defeat to her so that she can gloat. The last thing you wanted was to have her shove her pretty, cyan lips in front of your face and say, ''Ha, ha! You lose!''
Come to think of it, if you somehow ended up losing to her, you might just toy with her a little bit to even it out a little. You might even start by kissing her on the lips if she gets all in your face, just to shut her up and to see the shocked expression on her face. You laughed to yourself at the idea. You were able to see her expression in your mind that it was so priceless!
Glancing from side to side to make sure that you were alone in the darkness of the orchard as the sun was going down, you drew in a deep breath and inserted your fingers between your lips. You gave a loud, reverberating whistle that was not unlike a dog call, and, with a swift movement of your arm, you stuck out the fishing line to the side, into plain view with the apple dangling on the end of it like a Christmas bauble.
Still holding the fishing rod out to the side, you carefully glanced around the side of the tree to spot Applejack, the sound of the whistle catching her attention, causing her ears to perk up like a dog when their owner tells them that it's time for walkies.
Her marvelous green emerald eyes scanned around her surroundings for a moment as she tried to source where the sound had come from. It didn't take her more than a minute before her eyes landed in your direction, spotting the shiny red apple hovering slightly above the ground. In the heat of the moment, you bobbed the apple a little, beckoning and almost teasing the apple-loving, Southern mare to come running over to bag the goods.
You knew that Applejack loved apples like they were her children, so using one of her own apples against her as bait was a no-brainer to lure her in to your ingenious trap. You could probably hipnotise her with her own harvest and get her to do anything that you wanted! Somehow, the image of her begging for even the smallest bite of a crisp apple as you devoured it in front of her pleased you. Perhaps you may try it someday, but right now, you were going to focus on winning your bet with that cyan devil.
Keeping yourself pressed into the cloak of darkness, you heard what sounded like the stomping and thundering of hooves stampeding across the grass and soil, gradually becoming louder as the owner drew closer and closer. You had to put your hand in your mouth to suppress a laugh as you prepared for the inevitable to happen. Applejack will soon be yours and Rainbow Dash will be weeping in the corner as she has no choice but to act out her part of the bet upon losing! You could see it now!
Within mere moments, you felt a weight tug down on the end of your fishing rod, pulling you slightly off of your feet as it hooked itself on the end of the line. Pulling up your rod, you came out from behind the trunk of the tree you were hiding behind to witness a hilariously glorious sight.
Applejack, with her Stetson knocked from the top of her head and laying on the ground, was dangling slightly above the earth from the end of your fishing line, her jaws snapped shut around the apple.
The moment you stepped out into the open, her eyes turned to focus themselves upon you, and you couldn't help but laugh. She glowered at you upon realising that she's been had, and she rolled her eyes in annoyance, feeling foolish for having fallen for your antics.
''Cownsawnit!'' She mumbled from behind her apple-filled lips. ''How do Ah keep fawen faw that?'' She said, right before you lowered your rod and allowed her to regain her footing on the ground. The moment she was on the ground again, she released her mouth from the apple, now with deep, juice-leaking teeth marks embedded into it, and glared at you. ''What in the hay is wrong with you, Dom?''
''Gotcha,'' You said, laughing as the farmpony groaned and slapped a hoof to her forehead. ''Hey, Rainbow Dash!'' You said, looking upwards to sky. From a small, fluffy cloud in the orange-tinted sky, a cyan face poked over the edge and met your eyes before the owner flew down and landed smoothly beside you.
''Ah suppose Ah should have known that you'd be involved somehow, Rainbow,'' Applejack said upon her friend's landing, feeling stupid for not having figured it out sooner.
Rainbow Dash's face was taught with annoyance as she realised that she had lost the bet, and you took the moment to lean down to her level before poking her in the chest with one of your fingers. ''You lose,'' You said, smiling smugly.
''Aw, Celestia!'' She pouted, kicking the ground with her hoof in defeat. ''You got lucky, Dom!'' She said, jabbing her hoof into your chest, giving you a soft glare.
''Nope, I'm just better than you at proving a point,'' You said, much to Rainbow's annoyance. ''So,'' You began, glancing momentarily towards Applejack. ''Aren't you going to live up to your end of the bet?'' You asked her, to which she began to blush brightly.
Rainbow Dash looked into your eyes for a moment, her magenta irises almost pleading as she mouthed to you, ''I'm going to kill you after this!''. You held a hand to her shoulder and gave it a small pat before whispering into her ear, ''Worth it.''
She growled softly at you before she trotted slowly towards Applejack, all the while muttering angrily to herself, wondering on why she even agreed to such a bet in the first place. She cursed to herself at having lost to you, but you didn't pay attention. You were simply too happy that you didn't have to slave over her every command for an entire week straight.
''Rainbow Dash, w-what're you....?'' Applejack began, right before she was cut off by the cyan mare as she brought up her hooves to cup her cheeks, holding them firmly in her grasp. Next, Rainbow paused for a moment as her cheeks were miming a burning rose bush, right before she quickly went in for the kill with a peck on Applejack's lips.
The kiss didn't last for more than half a second, but it was more than enough to satisfy you as you watched the humiliated mare turn around the instant she lived up to her end of the bargain, her wings unfurling to their full lengths before she zipped off into the sky.
''W-What just happened?'' Applejack asked, confused and shocked at what one of her closest friends had done. She touched a hoof to her lips as she stared up into the sky, still able to feel Dash's warm lips against her own. ''D-Did she just kiss me?''
''Eh,'' You said with a shrug. ''Maybe that'll teach her to stop making drunken bets in the future.''
