This Is Why You Never Agree to Help an Eight Legged Pony.
If Applejack never saw another snowflake or icicle again until the day she died, it would still be too soon.
The past year, Ponyville had been slammed with one of the worst winters its weather team had ever produced, burying the town in record snowfalls of thirty inches or more. Just getting out of the house was a chore, and any pony who couldn’t fly where they needed to go had to tunnel their way through town. The train station had to be closed down for days as workers dug out the tracks.
The absolute worst part was that it simply would not end. Whenever it seemed like Winter Wrap-Up was finished and it was finally time to start spring, the weather team would hit them with yet another blizzard. Sometimes they wouldn’t even give the town any warning due to last minute scheduling. In one particularly harrowing incident, Fluttershy had just coxed a family of ferrets out of the hole they had been hibernating in when a whole snowbank was dropped right on top of them. They hadn’t been hurt, but it took hours to get them to come back out of their den the second time around, only for the same thing to happen again!
Complaints were filed, and when that didn't work, ponies stormed Weather the Management department, demanding that they put an end to the nightmare. Sadly, nothing they said could make the weather team budge. They insisted that the prolonged winter was necessary in order to account for recent changes in meteorological patterns.
Just when it seemed like everypony was about to go crazy, the weather team announced that the winter weather was finally over and done, and so far they had stayed true to their word. Applejack, however, wasn't entirely convinced. A part of her still expected to wake up one morning to find the farm buried yet again in more Faust-darned snow. She even had nightmares about it that required Princess Luna's intervention.
Today, however, she wasn't worried about snow or ice. Instead her thoughts were focused on selling her family's delicious apple products at the farmer's market.
While the early morning air was cool, the light of Celestia's rising sun felt warm against Applejack's coat as she hauled her cart full of merchandise down road to the town square. When she arrived, she was mildly surprised to see that she was not the first one there for once; Carrot Top had already set up her own stand.
“Well howdy, Carrot Top, fancy seeing ya here this early.”
“Good morning Applejack,” said Carrot Top. “I wanted to get a good spot today. I have a lot of carrots that need to be sold.”
Applejack examined the produce Carrot Top had laid out. “Looks mighty tasty. This just might be the best crop of yours that Ah've seen in years.”
“You're too kind,” said Carrot Top. “Say, while I have your attention, there's something I've been meaning to ask you…”
“If it's about Big Mac, yes, he did manage to finally find himself a fillyfriend,” Applejack told her wearily. She had already had to deliver the news to several different mares, and not all of them had taken it particularly well. While Cheerilee had been perfectly happy for him, several mares had burned an effigy of Princess Cadance in what they called a declaration of spite against love itself. Mayor Mare had been much more mature about it, although she had asked the bartender for several stiff drinks and mumbled something about making it illegal for stallions to date mares from out of town.
Thankfully, Carrot Top seemed absolutely delighted. Of course, that likely had as much to do with the fact that she preferred other mares as anything else.
“That's simply wonderful! So, who's the lucky mare?”
“It’s Sugar Belle from Starlight’s old town,” said Applejack. “Big Mac had been delivering apples to her for a while, and it seems he took a shine to her right quickly. ‘Course, being the quiet type that he is, he never told us about her till Apple Bloom and her friends stowed away in his cart. She's a real sweet gal; the family loves her.”
Well, most of the family, she thought bitterly.
Saying goodbye, Applejack left Carrot Top to go set up her own stand in her usual spot. She had just finished laying out her merchandise when Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash arrived.
“Good morning, Applejack,” said Twilight.
“Howdy girls,” she said. “What can I get for you?”
““I'll take an apple pie, a dozen apple fritters and some apple jam please.”
“Give me five jugs of your apple cider,” declared Rainbow Dash.
Applejack placed the requested items on the counter.
“There you go. That'll he forty-four bits for your items Twilight, and twenty-four bits for yours Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight used her magic to levitate her money onto the counter. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, stared despairingly into her purse.
“Oh man, I think I spent too much on crystals while I was playing 'Shadow of Tambleton’ last night,” she said. She gave Applejack a big, hopeful smile. “I don't suppose you could give me a special friendship discount?”
“No discounts,” Applejack said bluntly.
“Fine, I'll settle for one measly jug of cider,” growled Rainbow Dash, tossing her few bits on the counter. “I can see why Rarity's the one who got the Element of Generosity.”
“Yeah, well, next time don't waste all of your real money on fake currency for a game that has no real rewards,” Applejack retorted.
Just then Pinkie Pie came running up to Applejack's stand, slamming her hooves on the counter top. Her expression was frantic.
“Applejack, there's something I need to---oh, is that apple pie? I'll take one.”
“Hold on a sec Pinkie Pie, what did you need to tell me?” asked Applejack.
Pinkie Pie shook her mane, causing a few bits to fall out of it and on to the counter top. “Pie first, crisis later.”
Knowing that she wouldn’t relent until she got what she wanted, Applejack reluctantly gave Pinkie Pie her pie. Stretching her tongue out several feet, she scooped it out of the pan and swallowed it in one gulp.
“ANOTHER!” she bellowed, slamming the pan on the ground.
“Maybe later,” said Applejack. “Now what is it that you wanted to tell me?”
Pinkie Pie grasped Applejack's face between her hooves and pulled her close so their snouts were pressed against each other.
“Well, I was in the middle of giving Gummy his monthly scalicure when suddenly my Pinkie Sense went off,” said Pinkie Pie. “First my tail twitched, and then my mane, then my nose, then my right nostril, then my left, then my tummy, then my tail again and finally all of my hooves. And it was all for you Applejack!”
Applejack's stomach lurched. Anytime Pinkie Pie twitched for somepony specifically, it never bode well for the poor soul in question.
“What did it mean?” she asked.
Pinkie Pie released Applejack's face and stepped back.
“Soon, very soon, somepony will be paying you a visit. That pony will need you to do something for him. Something you really, really, really won't want to do, but you'll absolutely have to in order to help him. Something that'll test you like you've never been tested before! Also, watch your left flank.”
A flash of silver out of the corner of her eye was Applejack’s only warning before something slammed into her left side, knocking her to the ground, along with most of her inventory. Her three friends were by her side in an instant.
“Applejack, are you alright?” asked Twilight.
“Yeah, Ah think so.” She pushed herself back on her hooves. “The heck was that?”
“Hey Applejack, you’ve got new Cutie Marks,” said Rainbow Dash, pointing at her side.
“Say what now?”
Craning her neck, Applejack saw that two strange symbols had been inscribed on the side of her body with wispy, silver light. “What the heck?!”
“Better not let the Cutie Mark Crusaders see them, or we'll never hear the end of it,” said Pinkie Pie.
“These ain’t Cutie Marks!” said Applejack. She tried to rub them off, but the symbols were unaffected. “Twilight, get these durn things off of me!”
“Just hold still for a moment!”
Before Twilight could do anything, a beam of silver light shot out of the markings and formed an large, vertical disk in mid-air. Its surface shifted and rolled like snow on a gust of wind.
“What the heck is that?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“I think it's a portal,” said Twilight. “But it’s looks different from the one to Gaia.”
“Where does this one lead to then?” Rainbow Dash poked a hoof through the portal, only to pull it back with a yelp. “Something just hit me!”
They backed up as a stallion emerged from the portal. He had an ice-blue coat and a brilliant white mane and tail with light blue streaks. His eyes were icy-blue as well. He was tall, perhaps as tall as Big Mac, with a lean, muscular build. A set of silver armor lined with blue furs was strapped to his back, as well as a sheathed six-inch dagger with no cross guard. He wore a loop of string around his neck that had a single stone hanging from it. His expression was impassive even as he looked around, surveying the place he had come to.
All-in-all, he would have seemed like a perfectly normal if rather intimidating pony, except that there were two very distinct qualities to him that set him apart from the rest of pony-kind. For one thing, he did not have a Current Mark. He was clearly an adult, yet his flank was as blank as the day a pony was born. But by far the strangest thing about him was his six forelegs conjoined at his shoulders, giving him a total of eight legs altogether.
Applejack and her friends watched silently as the stallion with four legs too many turned his attention to them. His icy blue eyes examined each of them in turn, lingering briefly on Twilight before turning to Applejack. She realized that he was looking for the two extra marks that had been grafted on her flank.
He took a step towards her, only for Pinkie Pie to rush forward and cut him off.
“Oh my gosh, you have so many feet!” she gushed as she grabbed each of the bewildered stallion's legs one after another to examine them. “Did a unicorn friend of yours give them to you? I asked Twilight to use her magic to give me an extra pair of legs so that I could eat cake with one and ice cream with another and tie balloon animals with the other two, but all she gave were a bunch of excuses like that it was too frivolous and unethical.”
“I’m sorry, what?” the stallion said.
“Do you play patty cake?” Pinkie Pie asked him. “I'm the Ponyville champion --- or at least, I was until Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake were born. Those two are like a pair of patty cake machines! Let’s have a match!”
Sitting down, she clapped her hooves together and extended her right, then repeated with her left, over and over while chanting, “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s mare.” The stranger simply watched her with an unamused expression. “Come on, you have to do it with me. I’ll help you.”
Pinkie Pie began grabbing the stallion’s many hooves, making random pairs clap and extend to clap with her own. “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s mare. Bake me a cake as fast as you---”
The stallion lashed out with the hoof currently in Pinkie Pie’s clutches, striking her hard in the face and sending her flying. She crashed into Applejack’s stand, smashing it to pieces.
“Yay, I win,” she moaned from underneath the rubble.
“Hey you jerk!” Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, flying up to glare the stallion right in the eye. “I don't know who you are, where you came from, or even what the heck you are, but nopony does that to one of my friends!”
“She started it,” the stallion said.
“No excuses!” Rainbow Dash swung a punch as his face, but he caught it bare-hoofed. She tried again with her other hoof, only to get the same result. Holding her in place, the stallion then used his other hooves to repeatedly punch her in the jaw and stomach. “That’s---ow---cheating---oof!”
“Enough!” roared Twilight. She fired a magic blast at the stallion, forcing him to release Rainbow Dash to dodge it. She charged up another blast, aiming it right at him. “Stand down before I take you down.”
The stallion raised two of his front hooves in the air. The other four remained firmly on the ground, but the sentiment seemed to be the same.
“I didn't mean to cause trouble,” he said. “My name is Rime, and I just want to talk to…”
Rainbow Dash roared and shot forward, this time tackling Rime and dragging him through the air before slamming him into the ground.
“Rainbow Dash, stop!” cried Twilight, but Rainbow Dash ignored her and rained punches down on the stallion until he grabbed her and rolled so that he was on top of her, putting her in a headlock. She struggled and squirmed, cursing him, but he was simply too big and heavy for her to budge.
“Get off of her!” Twilight fired her spell.
Rime waved his free hooves through the air, leaving behind a string of floating symbols that glowed with the same light as the ones on Applejack's flank. A wall of ice appeared, blocking Twilight’s spell. Rime slammed a hoof against it, and more symbols appeared on it’s surface. A beam of ice formed and shot out from the wall right at Twilight, who barely managed to form her magic barrier in time. While the bubble protected her, the force of the impact sent her flying.
Applejack sprang into action. Jumping on the ice beam, she used it to spring herself up over the wall. Landing on Rime back, she grabbed his mane with her mouth and yanked on it to force his head back, allowing her to punch him repeatedly in the face.
Unfortunately, Rime demonstrated the advantages of having six forelegs once again by using the four that were not holding Rainbow Dash to grab Applejack and flip her off of himself. Rolling to her feet, she bucked him right in the face with enough force to knock him off of Rainbow Dash. He rolled across the ground, putting some distance between himself and the mares even as he created more symbols that formed a layer of ice. Applejack jumped back to avoid it, but Rainbow Dash's hooves were trapped before she could take flight.
“Oh come on!” she cried.
Rime began to advance towards Applejack, only for a barrage of magic bolts to strike the ground in front of him, forcing him back. Applejack looked up to see Twilight flying through the air. Her horn glowed, and eight steel shackles and chains sprang out of the ground and latched onto Rime's legs. He strained against them, but they held tight.
Twilight landed next to Applejack. She had a few bruises, but otherwise she looked fine. “It’s over mister. Those chains are strong enough to hold Princess Celestia herself, and you won’t be able to make any more runes without your hooves, so why don’t you settle down and maybe we can…”
Rime simply flicked his tail and created even more of his runes. These turned into a dozen massive spears made of ice that floated in the air, their tips aimed directly at them.
“Buck,” Twilight muttered.
Rime flicked his tail again, and the ice-spears launched one after another with blinding speed. Twilight crated a shield around herself and Applejack, protecting them from the barrage. Rainbow Dash yelped as one missile missed the top of her head by an inch. Another struck between her feet shattering the ice that held her captive. She quickly took cover behind Twilight’s barrier.
A third flick and Rime froze his restraints, shattering them with a few strong tugs for each leg. He drew his dagger before unstrapping his armor, letting it fall to the ground. More runes appeared on the dagger’s blade (Applejack’s was starting to really hate those things). Ice formed around it, growing into a massive blade that Princess Luna could have hidden behind. It’s edges were horribly jagged, because of course an ice sword big enough to cut a pony in half wasn’t scary enough already.
“So what’s the game plan, Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash.
Dismissing her shield, Twilight pointed at herself, and then at Rime. She then pointed at Rainbow Dash and waved her hoof overhead, before pointing at Applejack and kicking at the ground.
“What-does-all-this-mean?” Applejack demanded, punctuating each word by waving her hoof around at random.
“I was signaling that I would distract him,” explained Twilight, “and then Rainbow Dash would attack from above where we you went for his legs “
“I can hear everything you're saying,” said Rime.
Twilight groaned. “That’s why I was using signals. Never mind, rush him!”
Rime raised his sword, gripping the hilt with two fetlocks. If knowledge were cider, than what Applejack knew about sword fighting wouldn’t fill a thimble. However, she did remember one thing; during a visit to the castle in Canterlot, she had wandered near the training grounds and watched as the Royal Guard trained. The instructor had explained that holding a weapon in your hoof would allow you to wield it with much more versatility than using your mouth, but at the cost of having much less power behind it. You also could not simply compensate by using both hooves, as this would be both highly impractical and extremely risky for obvious reasons.
Of course, Rime’s extra hooves meant that he would not be constrained by the same logic. Applejack reasoned that their best chance was to take the sword out of play first and then beat the guy into the ground as fast as they could before he could make any more of those danged runes.
The three of them charged at him, only to skid to a stop when Pinkie Pie jumped between them. She had a black eye, and bits of Applejack’s stand were stuck in her mane.
“What do you three think you’re doing?” she demanded.
“Get out of the way Pinkie Pie,” said Rainbow Dash. “We’re going to clobber that guy.”
“Why? Is that what we do to new ponies in Ponyville? Clobber them? No, we welcome them with a party and make them out new best friends forever!”
“He punched you in the face,” Applejack reminded her.
“Oh, is that what you were so worked up about?” Pinkie Pie waved her hoof dismissively. “It’s fine, I’m not mad. I was being pretty touchy-touchy with him without his permission, after all.”
She turned to face Rime. “I’m sorry I played with your hooves. Do you still want to be friends?”
Rime blinked. He clearly was not prepared for somepony he had just punched in the face to be apologizing to him. “It’s fine, I shouldn’t have hit you. And yes, I would like to be friends.”
“Yay! New best friend forever!” cried Pinkie Pie, wrapping him up in a hug.
“Sure, whatever you say,” he mumbled as he gently pried the pink mare off. His ice-sword shrank back into a regular dagger and was returned to its sheath.
He turned to face the others. “It seems we got off on the wrong hooves. Let’s start over; I am Rime, son of Irontrot, loyal and faithful warrior of the Aesir. May I have your names?”
Twilight stepped forward. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.”
“By Faust, you're the Elements of Harmony,” Rime said in awe.
“You’ve heard of us?” asked Applejack. It was a rare occurrence for anyone the gang encountered to recognize six ordinary mares as the heroes who had saved not only Equestria but the entire world from certain doom multiple times. This suited her just fine for the most part, although she did wonder sometimes how much easier it would be to deal with the likes of Suri Polomare or the Flim Flam brothers if they knew the ponies they were messing with tussled with gods and monsters on a regular basis.
“Of course. All of Stirrope knows of your great deeds. My favorite is how the Princess of Magic defeated Tirek the Devourer by ripping off his horns and stabbing him in the chest with them, releasing all of the magic he had stolen.”
Twilight looked horrified.
“What? Faust, no, that’s not what happened at all! My friends and I just used the Elements of Harmony to strip him of his powers and sent him back to Tartarus. Also, I’m the Princess of Friendship, not Magic. Although, considering what the Element of Magic actually represents, I suppose you’re not entirely wrong on that part.”
Rime looked mildly disappointed. “I see. Then I suppose my new favorite is when you expelled Discord from Equss forever by using his own omnipotence against him by challenging him to get himself lost.”
“No, we used the Elements to turn him to stone. And I can think of at least a half dozen reasons why what you said wouldn’t work.”
“Did you at least kill Nightmare Moon by working together and utilizing all of your individual skills and talents?” Rime’s tone remained level, but his expression had become faintly annoyed.
“We used the Elements of Harmony to turn her back into Princess Luna, who now rules alongside Princess Celestia. Now that I think about it, we solve a lot of our problems by blasting them with a friendship rainbow.”
Rime’s face briefly resembled that of a foal who received nothing but useless clothes for Hearth’s Warming Day, but it passed.
“It doesn’t matter. The magic of the Raidho rune brought me here, which means you are the only ones who can help me.”
“Are you talking ‘bout theses things?” asked Applejack, pointing at the glowing symbols on her flank. They were beginning to fade, but were still visible for the moment.
“Yes, although I don’t know why Sowilo is there as well,” said Rime.
“Well what in tarnation do ya need mah help with so badly that you’d have me slapped with some portal-making magic tattoo right when Ah’m in the middle of selling mah goods?”
“Maybe we should discuss this in my castle,” suggested Twilight. “It’ll be more private.”
Applejack realized that their fight had attracted a crowd of ponies. Many ponies were pointing at Rime and whispering amongst themselves in hushed, fearful tones. It reminded her of when everyone still thought Zecora was evil.
“That sounds like a swell idea. Let’s go,”
“Go tell Fluttershy and Rarity to meet up with us,” Twilight told Rainbow Dash. “I think we should all be present to handle this.”
Nodding, Rainbow Dash took off.
Rime admired Twilight’s crystalline castle as he was led through its halls “At least you home lives up to the legends,” he said. “I don’t suppose you also have a mighty and fearsome dragon guarding this place, do you?”
Spike, Twilight’s small and adorable dragon assistant, walked out of the kitchen, sipping a strawberry milkshake through a crazy straw. “Welcome back Twilight,” he said. “Hi Pinkie Pie and Applejack. Who’s the new guy? If I knew we were having guests, I would have made brownies.”
“Of course,” Rime mumbled.
Spike examined the stallion’s sextet of front legs. “ So what’s with the extra hooves? Did a unicorn play a prank on you?”
“There was no unicorn,” Rime snapped. He didn’t raise his voice, but his tone was sharp. “This is the same number of hooves I’ve had since birth.”
Spike backed away carefully. “Sorry, my bad. I‘ve just never seen that many legs on a single pony before."
“Spike, this is Rime, and he’s a sleipnir,” Twilight told him. “They all have eight legs. And it’s not polite to stare.”
Starlight Glimmer came down the stairs, yawning loudly. Her mane was a mess, and she had huge bags under her eyes.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” said Twilight. “Where you up all night reading that book about gastronomic acceleration?”
“Coffee, then talk,” Starlight mumbled. When she spotted Rime, she stopped and stared at him for a minute. Then she rubbed her eyes and stared at him some more. “Do I need to have an extra shot of expresso in my coffee, or does that guy have way too many legs?”
“I have the perfect number of legs for myself,” Rime told her. “There was no unicorn involved either.”
“Starlight, meet Rime,” said Twilight. “Rime, this is Starlight Glimmer, my personal friendship student.”
Rime bowed his head politely. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Starlight. I suppose you that you are not a sorceress who uses dark magic to steal other ponies’ skills and talents and then brainwashes them into your mindless minions.”
Twilight shifted nervously. “Actually, that particular story is completely accurate.”
In the blink of an eye, Rime drew his sword and held its tip right at Starlight’s snout.
“But she has been completely reformed, and she promised to never do anything like that ever again!” Twilight added frantically.
“T-That’s right, I am one hundred percent done with stealing Cutie Marks and running cults,” Starlight confirmed fearfully. Sweat dripped down her brow. “So please put your incredibly scary sword away, sir.”
Rime stared at her like he was considering the sincerity of her claim, but after a moment he sheathed his weapon. “My apologies. Where I’m from, we are taught to handle potential threats with extreme preemptive aggression.”
“That’s fine, I respect your culture,” said Starlight weakly. Her legs were wobbling so badly she could barely stand. “I don’t need my coffee anymore, so it all worked out.”
“How about some nice, relaxing tea instead?” suggested Spike. He looked at Rime with a mixture of fear, for obvious reasons, and awe, which was likely for the stallion’s unique weapon.
“That sounds like a good idea,” agreed Twilight. “Why don’t you bring it to the throne room when it’s ready. And make enough for the rest of the girls as well.”
Spike had just started serving the tea when Rainbow Dash arrived with Fluttershy and Rarity.
Rarity ran up to check on Pinkie Pie. “Darling, are you alright? Rainbow Dash told us everything.”
“I’m fine Rarity,” Pinkie Pie assured her. She reached under the table and produced an eyepatch, which she slipped over her black eye. “This is why I keep emergency eye patches everywhere. That and for emergency pirate parties. You never know when you might need to throw one of those at the last minute.”
“Well, I’m glad that Rainbow Dash gave that ruffian what he had coming to him!”
“Is that what she told you?” Rime asked dryly.
Rarity turned to face him. Her expression swiftly changed from outrage to girlish awe.
“And who might you be, you magnificently sculptured fellow?” she asked as she sidled up to him and fluttered her eyelashes.
Rime seemed uncomfortable with the close contact. “Um, I'm Rime, son of…Ironhoof, warrior of the Aesir, and stuff.”
Spike scowled over the tray of tea in his claws as his crush flited with the new guy. “He’s also the guy who punched Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh yes, that’s right!” Rarity swatted Rime’s shoulder. “How dare you lay a hoof on my dear friend! Oh, but what strong hooves they are.”
She grabbed one of Rime's hooves and began caressing it eagerly. The poor stallion was looking very uncomfortable, and Applejack worried that he might resort to “extreme preemptive measures” again.
“It’s fine, Rime already apologized to Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight. “Why don’t you sit down so he can explain what he needs help with.”
Rarity reluctantly released Rime’s hoof and went to her seat.
“So, um, if you promise not to hit anypony anymore, I hope we can be friends,” said Fluttershy.
Rime stared at her for a moment. “Are you Fluttershy the Pure Hearted?”
Her cheeks turned red. “You can just call me Fluttershy. Please, just call me Fluttershy. The last part makes me sound like more of a big shot than I really am.”
“Do you by any chance possess the ability to bend all manner of beasts and monsters to your will and make them your unstoppable army?”
Fluttershy gasped. “Oh heavens no! I can only use the Stare to make others behave themselves. Even if I could control anyone, I would never want to. It would be so---mean!”
“Of course you can’t,” muttered Rime.
“I didn’t disappoint you, did I? I’m sorry, please don’t be disappointed!”
“Don’t worry about him,” said Twilight. “Rime just heard a lot of very exaggerated stories about our adventures.”
“Hey, they’re not all exaggerated,” said Rainbow Dash. She flew into the air, holding her head up proudly. “I for one am exactly as awesome as I’m sure you’ve heard. I am the only pony to perform the Sonic Rainboom, after all.”
“Can you destroy everything within a two hundred foot radius with it?” asked Rime.
“Well, no,” Rainbow Dash admitted.
“Then good day to you.”
Rainbow Dash slowly, awkwardly descended back into her seat.
Spike started serving everyone their tea. He came to Rime last. For a moment, he looked like he was considering “accidentally” spilling the hot tea on his newest (and much more eligible ) rival for Rarity’s affection. But instead he just poured another cup for him, either because it would have been a waste of good tea, or because the stallion’s hooves were about as big as his head.
Rime stared at the murky hot liquid in his cup. “So what is this?”
“It’s Earl Grey Green tea with a hint of lilac,” explained Spike.
“I don’t normally drink tea,” said Rime.
“What do you drink?”
“Not tea.”
Twilight’s horn glowed, and Rime’s cup was transformed into a large tankard. He sipped from it, then smiled.
“Honeyed ale. Thank you.”
Pinkie Pie scrunched up her snout. “You drink alcohol in the morning?”
“Nothing very strong,” Rime insisted. He drank deeply before setting his cup down on the table.
“Well then, I’m sure you all have quite a few questions for me.”
“You’re darn right we do,” said Rainbow Dash. “For starters, why the heck do you have eight legs?”
“Do all Equestrians have some strange fascination with legs?” asked Rime. “I believe the Princess had already explained that I am a sleipnir.”
“Yeah, but what is that?”
“May I explain?” asked Twilight.
“Be my guest,” said Rime.
Twilights conjured a table-sized globe of Equus in the air. A portion of a particular continent flashed purple before the image zoomed in on it.
“The sleipnir are a race of ponies native to Northern Stirrope,” she explained. “As we've established several times already, they are distinct from most other ponies due to their eight legs, as well as their apparent lack of Cutie Marks. They’re also some of the most accomplished seafarers in recorded history. Centuries before compasses or navigation scrying were invented, they sailed the seas using only their wits and a keen understanding of their environment. They would also use sunstones and moonstones to determine the location of the sun and moon whenever the sky was overcast by observing how they glowed when held in alignment with their respective body.”
“Sunburst told me about those once,” said Starlight. “I think he said something about them being the ‘Princess’ blessings.’”
“They’re something like that,” said Twilight. “They’re the only types of gems that can store Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s immensely powerful alicorn magic. They use them to empower Equestria’s armies whenever a war goes badly for us.”
“They’re also supposed to be some of the most beautiful gems that you will ever find,” said Rarity wistfully. “I’ve dreamed of using them for one of my outfits ever since I got my Cutie Mark. Do you think they would lend me a few if I promised to make new dresses for them?”
“Don’t even ask them,” warned Spike. “Especially not Princess Celestia. One time, when we were little, Twilight and I got into Princess Celestia’s personal vault when she wasn’t looking, and I ate one of her sunstones. Just one measly gem out of hundreds. It was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten, but the punishment she gave me…” He shuddered violently. “It wasn’t worth it, it just wasn’t worth it!”
“Anyways,” said Twilight, who seemed like she really wanted to change the subject, “in the past, the sleipnir were known for raiding and pillaging other countries, especially Equestria and the Griffon Kingdoms.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up like a foal’s on Heather’s Warming Day. “So you guys were like pirates?”
“We were called Vikings, actually,” said Rime. “But the basic idea is the same. Of course, that profession died out a long time ago. It’s been over three hundred years since we raided so much as an outlet mall.”
“Phooey,” rainbow Dash muttered.
“So why are you here?” asked Applejack. She had grown impatient with how far the conversation had strayed from the primary issue.
“I told you, I need your help,” said Rime. “I must warn you, the request I am about to ask of you is a heavy one, but the fact that the Raidho rune brought me to you means that you are the only one I can count on to help me achieve my goal.”
“Well shoot partner, just tell me what it is ya need me for so badly. Ah promise that Ah'll lend ya a hoof.”
Pinkie Pie mouthed the words “Pinkie Sense” at her, but Applejack ignored her. Next to their apples, the Apple family prided themselves most on their willingness to help out those in need. Whether it was preparing for a bake sale, repairing a building, or retrieving the magic artifacts needed to defeat a mad alicorn, an Apple was always happy to volunteer their aid, no ifs, ands or buts about it. No matter what Pinkie Pie or any of her twitches might say, there was nothing that could make her turn down a request from a fellow pony.
“I want you to kill me,” said Rime.
Author's Note
I would like to thank whoever told me about the Viking sunstone. Unfortunately, the World-Building Alliance seems to have deleted the sleiphnir thread for some reason, so I am unable to name them.
The symbols Rime uses for his magic are based on the basic runic alphabet. Unfortunately, the Microsoft Word app I am using does not appear to be compatible, so I am as of yet unable to display it properly. If I ever figure it out, I might go back and properly add them.
