Wherein She Gathers Her Team
Rainbow Dash strode into the room, her mane flapping in the wind. Applejack immediately dropped her guitar, her eyes lighting up, just like in one my Japanese animes! She galloped over to Dash, licking her on the side of the face. Dash looked forward, a hardened-steel look about her face.
"Oh Dash, you came back!" Applejack exclaimed.
"Shut up baby, the Dash always comes back," Rainbow Dash said, mustering her manliest voice. It wasn't particularly manly.
"Dash... are we gonna do... THAT again?" Applejack asked mischievously.
"I told you to shut up baby. It's time to dash. Applejack grab my tail."
Applejack sunk her teeth into Dash's rainbow-coloured tail, eyes darting back up to the extremely manly and not gay pony's face. Dash immediately sprung into action, rocketing upwards through the roof of Applejack's home. Wood swirled around the pair, forming a flying wood elemental that raised its palm and gave Rainbow Dash a good slap.
Dash wasn't in the mood for this horseshit, and promptly whipped her tail around at the elemental, using Applejack like a flail. Applejack collided with the very big golem who is large, nearly releasing her grasp on Dash's tail. The elemental cried out in pain, wood shavings spewing forth from its gross mouth. Dash grinned loudly. Don't ask questions.
"You picked the wrong filly to mess with, big ugly dude who I don't like!" Dash roared, doing three cartwheels in the air, spinning directly at the golem guy who is really scary yipes!! The elemental made of woody bits gasped real loud and tried to move out of the way of the Death Pony Spin, but he couldn't manage it in time. The Death Pony Spin collided with the golem and it exploded into a lot of wood and shards, and also an entire house. Dash grinned and an explosion shot out of her mouth and into the air in front of them.
Applejack's eyes lit up, and she tried to say something to Dash. "Ommf mf ffm!" she said happily. Dash rolled her eyes, rocketing off in the direction of Twilight's house. A rainbow followed behind them, except that this rainbow was friendship coloured. I told you not to ask any fucking questions kid, what, you want a fat fucking lip? Get outta here with that mess. So anyway they flew to Twilight's house and Rainbow Dash landed in front of it, Twilight's house I mean is where she landed.
Rainbow Dash charged at the front door, head lowered, then whipped around at the last minute, using Applejack's body to smash open the door. It exploded inwards in a shower of splinters and for some reason sparkles. Twilight groaned, dropping the book she had been reading.
"For the love of Celestia, this again, Rainbow?" Twilight asked, obviously exasperated.
"TWILIGHT WE HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED A MAGICAL MISSION FROM... UH, CELESTIA, AND WE NEED YOUR SPARKLES TO HELP US," Rainbow Dash bellowed.
"Do you have to yell, Rainbow? This is a library, you kn-"
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS HORSEPLAY, WE ARE HORSES, SO THAT'S A FUNNY JOKE. PLEASE GRAB ONTO MY TAIL."
"I'm not in the mood, Rainbow. Cut it out."
"TWILIGHT GRAB MY TAIL."
"No, Rainbow."
"IT IS AN ORDER FROM QUEEN CELESTIA."
"I didn't get a message from her, Rainbow. Go play somewhere else," Twilight sighed, using her magic to pick her book back up.
Rainbow Dash's face contorted into a look of pure, blood-dripping terror. To be precise, blood started dripping from her eyes. She bolted at Twilight's table, flipping it over with two hooves and snarling loudly like a rabid dog. Applejack flopped about helplessly, still attached to Dash's tail. The book still floated lazily in front of Twilight's face, and she stared directly into Dash's eyes.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLER IF YOU DO NOT COME WITH ME I WILL BE FORCED TO LOVE AND TOLERATE THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, taking hold of Rainbow Dash's tail with a single hoof. No use in fighting it. Rainbow Dash took off through the roof of Twilight's tree house, then careened back down, creating a second hole, then out the door. They flew like ravens and also ponies I guess towards Fluttershy's house.
"Twilight we have to get all the ponies together and find all the lost friendship stones, and that is our mission from Princess Celestia and if you had just let me explain earlier maybe there wouldn't be three holes in your house right now do you understand me," Rainbow Dash said, no longer bellowing.
Twilight was unable to respond, the wind whipping at her face so hard that the face almost came off, but phew thank goodness her face didn't come off. Rainbow Dash did a flip.
Rainbow Dash did another flip into the next paragraph and they arrived at Fluttershy's house. The three ponies landed on the ground, safe and sound. And then a crater happened underneath them and Rainbow Dash flew out of it and into Fluttershy's house window. Fluttershy spun around three times with a loud gasp.
"FLUTTERSHY YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US ALL THE ANIMALS ARE IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THE FRIENDSHIP STONES ARE DEAD AND YOU HAVE TO HELP SAVE THEM," Rainbow Dash said as she crashed into the back wall of Fluttershy's home, shattering at least 3 pots and 2 dreams. The other ponies remained firmly latched onto Dash's tail. Fluttershy cringed, her eyes widening in horror.
"D..Dash, what the..." Fluttershy stammered, and Dash trotted over to her, jamming a hoof in her mouth.
"Listen, shut the hell up and listen to me, you have to grab onto my tail now."
"But why..?"
"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!" Dash yelled, flicking her tail. Twilight and Applejack crashed into the ground.
"You better do what she says, sugarcube," Applejack said, temporarily releasing her vice grip on Dash's tail. She chomped back down on it, grinding her teeth slightly over the fine fur. Twilight merely groaned. Fluttershy bit her lower lip hard, unsure of what to do. Dash whipped her mane around, and her mane fell on top of Fluttershy's head. She squeaked quietly.
"Fluttershy do you like my mane isn't it nice."
"Um... y..yes, I suppose it's... nice."
"My mane is literally the most beautiful in all of Equestria and now you are going to grab onto my tail. Deal with it."
Fluttershy sighed, trotting slowly behind Rainbow Dash and grabbing a hold of her tail gingerly with her mouth. Almost immediately Rainbow Dash created 13 sonic rainbooms inside Fluttershy's house, reducing it to a pile of rubble. She flew away while spindashing through the air towards Pinkie Pie's bakery or wherever the fuck she lives, I can't be assed to check these things.
Rainbow Dash spun like a drill into the roof of the bakery, twirling her tail around to give the other ponies something fun to do while Rainbow Dash was busy piercing the heavens, except instead of the heavens it was the roof of a bakery.
Pinkie Pie started scrambling around the main room of the bakery, trying to take down all the decorations before Dash broke through the roof. She leapt up to grab the giant banner, balling it up as quickly as she could. Rainbow Dash finally broke through, landing gently on the floor. The ponies on her tail fell to the floor with a thud, having stopped spinning.
"Pinkie Pie my love I need your help please come with me," Rainbow Dash said as her tongue snaked out of her mouth and towards Pinkie Pie. Pinkie's face lit up as Dash's tongue lapped all over her face.
"Oh, Dash! You know I'd help you with ANYTHING!" she giggled, bouncing up and down as she nuzzled Dash's tongue. She bounded over to Dash, whose tongue slowly retracted as Pinkie Pie approached and their muzzled mashed together in a sloppy kiss. The other ponies stared in awe, still somewhat dizzy from their 'ride.' Pinkie Pie broke the kiss and licked Dash on the nose.
"PINKIE PIE GRAB MY TAIL."
Pinkie Pie bounced over to Dash's tail, grabbing a hold with her teeth, a broad grin on her face. She looked at the other ponies. Applejack bit down on Dash's tail without hesitation, while Twilight and Fluttershy did so with a bit of reluctance.
Spike materialized in the room and then disappeared, so the writer can claim he was in the story and get an extra tag on the blog. This is the last time I'm going to tell your fucking ass to not ask questions.
Rainbow Dash trotted lazily out of the front door of the bakery, nudging it open with her snout. Then an explosion happened beneath her which launched her directly at Rarity's boutique, which also exploded twice but it wasn't harmed because it was a love explosion.
Rainbow Dash burped and then called out to Rarity from outside the dress shop. "RARITY GET YOUR FLANK OUT HERE THERE IS A FASHION EMERGENCY I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS," she bellowed.
Inside the dress shop, Rarity sighed, trotting outside, her glasses still laid on her snout. "What is it THIS time, dear?" Rarity said, as Rainbow Dash scooped her up on her back, because Rainbow Dash is really strong and handsome beautiful and there wasn't any more room on her tail for ponies. Rarity yelped in surprise as Rainbow Dash took off to the heavens, leaving behind a puddle of rainbow-coloured goop.
And so it was that Rainbow Dash gathered up all the ponies that matter and flew away into the sunset to retrieve all of the Friendship Stones. Will they be bad enough dudes to be able to defeat the final boss and achieve the legendary Super Saiyan 5? See you next time.
Wherein She Must Collect Radishes
FRIENDSHIP STONES 0.5
the Wreckoning is at hands
Today in Ponyville there were radishes. But instead of there being radishes, there weren’t any today. Where were the radishes? I can’t find the radishes, he said. I can’t find them, where are the rassihe? radishes* So then Rianbow Dash was camed out to find the radish. Here’s raibnow
“I’m Rainbow Dash. Where are the radishes?” She asked where they were to the store keeper. “I dont know. Where’s the radishes?” asked the store keeper. She didn’t know where any of them were at. Where are they? So rainbow dash decided she was going to get more of the radish.
Rainbow Dahs decides to get more ponies for helping her get the radish stones. “Help Twilight Sparkle!” She called out to Twiligth Sparkle. Help me find the”” radishes” she asked. So Twilight Sparkler came out of her tree and said “Rainbow Dash I will help you find the radished. Let’s go.” and so they went there.
Then Rainbow was going to find the other ponies when suddenlyed a Pinker Pie appears. pinkie pie what are you doing here asked rainbow. “HEllo rianbow dash. Let’s find more radishes for a cheaper price than in Ponyville. But radishes” said Pinkie Pie. and so they left this paragraph and to the next one. woooooooosh
hello rarity would you like to find the friendship stones but dash we cant find them yet that is for the second one well okay how about the radisjhes for the ponyes ville okay let’s find radishes and so there they go, off they go this shit sucks
Fluttershy was next to come onto the list,to find the radishes. Rainbow Dash walked to her house and kicked into the door with her hoofs. “FLUTTERSHY get your QUIET out here and COME ON” she screamed at the top of all her lungs. Fluttershy was real scared and made a squeaking sound and the other ponies went “AWWw” but rainbow dash just got REAL ANGRY and started breaking all the shit in Fluttershy’s house.
“YELLOWQUIET I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS WE HAVE TO GET MORE RADISHES UHGHH I LOVE RADISHES SO MUCH COME THE FUCK ON” and so fluttershy was with them now. brb
okay im back sorry so anyway i guess there’s one more pony left. oh yeah it’s applejack. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle and the other guys were walked towards Applejack’s Farm. then a HYDRA APPEARED!!! OH MY FREAKING GODsh!! HELP!! screamed the ponies. I WILL SAVE THEM thought Rainbow Dash. She was so cool and awesome and decided that I will help those ponies. Watch this
Rainbow Dash lifted herself onto her hind legs and yelled to the skies “HELP ME PLANETS” and they did. Down from heavens came a big robot suit for rainbow dash shaped like a pony, except a robot. She was really happy and jumped up real high to get inside the robot suit where she could control the robot. Then she used the hoofes of the robot to smash the hYdra into the barn where Applejack was. The hydra died.
I forgot the point of this story was to get some radishes, sorry. I promise that the story will be more focused from this point onward. Rainbow Dash trotted up to Applejack’s barn, freshly destroyed from her previous silly antics. She had a sheepish look about her face as she prodded Applejack with her snout. AJ sprang up almost immediately, whipping her head around to search for the intruder.
“WHO’S THERE APPLES APPLES APPLES,” bellowed Applejack. It seemed this silly pony was still a bit dazed from the hydra incident! Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Oh AJ, you’re such a silly pony!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
“APPLES APPLES APPLES,” was the only reply.
whatever, the ponies got together and they went away to go to a different place with radishes, fuck that shit was stupid. i dont know where they fuckin go... stalliongrad? really? that’s a real place? no, fuck that shit, they go to Radishtown. yeah, that’s a real funny fuckin name, right? real original? fuck you. sorry that wasnt nice
the ponies make they’re way to Radishville. they had to find more radish for poniesville before the entire town was destruction from no radishes. And so the ponies walked to the Super Market and went inside of it. Pinkie Pie got into a cart and pushed herself into an aisle far away from the rest of ponies bye bye pinker pie see you later they all said. Pinkie Pie, your so random! hAhAhAhAhAhA they laughtered. bye pinkie
The rest of the ponies went around the giant store it was HUGE like the inside of a volcano. But they found a pony who worked there and asked him, “Excuse me, where are they?” and he pointed for the radishes, because that is the only thing they sold at this store (SURPRISE!!!!!!!!). Rainbow Dash gobbled up as many radishes as she could fit inside of her belly and put one under Applejack’s hat so they could bring them back to the ponies of Ponnyfille. Also Twilight Sparkle used her magic to help.
Pinkie Pie was moving through the ground like a gopher, displacing the tiles of the Super Shop with her weird shaped head. She popped up underneath the group of ponies screaming “H̨̉̉̓ͬͨȄ̷͗́̑Y̜̞ͥ̽̈́̓̏ͫ ̵̱͖̘͓̍͒̈́͌̓ͮG̛̼̣͔ͨ͂ͭͅȔ̸̩͚̱̖̥͈͈͂ͣ͌̌Y͋̂ͤ̓̚S̫̮̺̣̝̜͔̽̈͘ ̷̹̻̝͖̱͉̊͑ͣ̾ͫW̥̺̺̪̗̙̥͆ͫ͒ͬͦH͕̩̓̉Ä̺͕̙̱́ͨͮ̔̔̅̌T̩͗̄͊̚’̝̝̟̘̐̎͗ͫͤ̆S̳͍̫ͮͥ͛ͅ ͉͙̖̳͇͙̆͆͗̾̚G̻̋̉̈́ͦ̇O̩͓͇͔̍͋̈ͮ̍I̪̖̦̞̤̐̀͡N̵̺̖̖G̵̮͉̟͍̩̰͋͗̅ͫ͊̈ ̝̈́ͧͪ̈́͢O͕͗ͥ̓ͮ͡N͔̻̬̫̭͚̈̓ͪ̈́ͥͅ ͚́H̩̖̤̜̟̼ͮ̔ͭͬ̅̚ͅĚ̵̥͎̀R̶̦̜̹̭̞̓̇͆ͦͣ̔̅E̹͕͇̗͠ ̱̦̻̤̂ͣ̕EͬV͓͚͙͔͆ͦͣ̀̔̃ͅE̻͍̭͓̓̑̎͊̈ͦR͇͉̹̱͈͇̮͋̂͗ͥͥ͝Y̪̳͌̽͊ͨ͢G͇͚͖̖̽ͣ̉ͫ͆̔̔͡U̬̣͓̳͜Y̱̑͂̒ͥͣͪͪ͡S̢̘̜̜͎̠̜͈ͦ̆̃͒͒̄” Pinkie Pie grinned real loud at the ponies and everyone was laughed at Pinka pie. your random pinkie pig “he He He he he”
Rainbow Dash got real serious look on face. And screamed to all the ponies “HEY everybody grab my FR*CKING tail right the H*CK NOW okay” and everybody did it without asking any stupid questions like “why” or “but will we even all fit” like come on guys seriously just bite her tail fucking hell
So then all the ponies grabed the Ponytail of rainbow dash and Rainbows SKYROCKET out of the store with fervor. She can fly with her wings so she did it even with a lot of turnips in her stomache. As they blasted off towards the place where most of the cool ponies were (it’s Ponyville, dunkass), Rianbow dash took a time to reflect upon this story. She thought about all the fun times she had. There weren’t any funny times
rainbow dash landed and with a abig BOOM!!!!!!!!!! she let all the ponies leave this place. but she asked appplejack to stay because she still had a radish underneath her hat. they slowly, like in a movie real slow, into the shop from earlier before where they did not have the radishes. and rianbow desh let out a big burp and there go the plums. EVERYWHERE there are radishes now, stop burping radish into my store!!!!!! yelled the store keeper. help i cant stop thought rainbow. i cant stop bleching all the radishes. it was like a sea of them.
Suddenly she stopped and it was okay though. There were gross radishes and nice radishes everywhere but it was revealed. Applejack still has the turnip underneath her brown hat. “LAND SAKES YA’LL APPLES APPLES APPLES” she said as she took it from the hat and ate it. Everybody was laughing about it, haha! What a great ending. Thanks for reading my fan fictions. I hope you enjoyed it? please comment rate and subscribe!!
