Super-Duper Flex-Sealed Bonus Chapter!!!11!!1
"Luna, our ship is sinking!" cried Sunset Shimmer, furiously soaking up the inflowing dream diarrhea with her infinite supply of ShamwowTM cloths.
"Show me the leaks."
Sunset raised a brow but nevertheless complied, teleporting the entire Wikileaks server onto the ship, followed by more than enough leeks to feed all the starving children.
"No, no, the leaks!"
"Yeah," Sunset gestured a hoof towards the whirring server, "there they are. You wanna find out who Celestia's secret child is with me?"
"What, wha--"
"OH DEAR CELESTIA THE SHAMWOW CAN'T HOLD MUCH MORE HOLY CRAP HELP ME PATCH THE HOLE THAT'S TRYING TO SWALLOW ME INTO THE ABYSS OF BROKEN DREAMS AND--"
Luna sighed. Now was the time to bring out her ultimate weapon...
With a fearsome battle cry, Luna wielded her final resort...
"DOUBLE-DIPPED SHAMFLEXWOWTAPESEAL OF POOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAH!" Luna screeched at the top of her lungs, diving overboard into the depths of the ~~crippling depression~~ nightmares of her subjects.
It was like watching a miracle. One second, the dreamscape roiled and broiled and frothed all over with the imagined fantasies of the populace, the next... nothing. Nothing, that is, besides one Princess of the Night tumbling into the abyss on a mattress-sized sheet of Shamwow wrapped in Flex Tape and utterly dripping with Flex Seal.
That last part was currently the focus of Luna's current dilemma - she was Flex Sealed to the Flex Tape, which in turn fastened her to Sunset's Shamwow mattress.
Down and down she went, the Shamwow absorbing anything and everything it encountered as it continued falling, the Flex Tape and Seal binding the Princess to the cloth all the way. Sunset could only watch in horror as Luna fell out of the dreamscape.
CLUNK.
CANTERLOT CASTLE ROOFTOP GO BOOM. CASTLE KITCHEN GO BOOM. CELESTIA'S CAKE GO BOOM. SHAMWOW EAT RUBBLE.
Celestia was not amused to find that her sister, now tightly-bound to a bulging Shamwow cloth with Flex Tape and Flex Seal, had landed right in the middle of her cake.
Sunset guided the Flex Seal-ed Flex Tape and Shamwow airship to the conveniently-located kitchen balcony of story progression, hopping out with her briefcase stuffed full of Shamwow.
"Sunset!" Luna beamed through the remnants of Celestia's cake, "You made it out!"
Sunset smirked, tossing an enchanted Shamwow cloth at the Flex Seal on Luna's hooves. A loud slurping sound echoed through the destroyed kitchen as the Shamwow absorbed the Flex Seal, therefore turning it into FLEXISHAMSEAL, THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PRODUCT THAT ALL PONIES NEED IN THEIR HOME! IT WILL REPLACE YOUR PAPER TOWELS, YOUR BATHROOM TOWELS, YOUR SCREEN WIPES, YOUR DUCT TAPE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN! ONLY NEED A STRIP OF TAPE? CUT A PIECE OFF THE FLEXISHAMSEAL! IT'LL STICK TO ANYTHING, AND SOAK UP THE WATER WHILE IT'S AT IT! YOUR TABLE'S FULL OF CRUMBS? USE A FLEXISHAMSEAL CLOTH FOR YOUR TABLECLOTH! OUR PATENTED ENCHANTO-WOW TECHNOLOGY ALLOWS THE FLEXISHAMSEAL TO SIMPLY ABSORB ANY CRUMBS THAT DROP ON IT! BEST OF ALL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THROW IT IN THE WASH! THE BINDING FLEX SEAL THAT'S INTERMESHED WITH THE CLASSIC SHAMWOW CLOTH GUARANTEES THAT IT'LL HOLD FOR PRACTICALLY FOREVER! BUY YOUR FLEXISHAMSEAL NOW, AND YOU'LL GET A SECOND SET, FREE! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT, FREE! AT ONLY 19.95 FOR NOT ONE, BUT TWO SETS, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WON'T BE AROUND FOR LONG! BUY ONE NOW, WHILE STOCKS LAST!
Author's Note
TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FLEX TAPE, I SAWED THIS DREAMSCAPE IN HALF!
Author's Note
WARNING: SUPER-EXTRA-OOC SPICEYNESS!
TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FLEX TAPE, I SAWED THIS DREAMSCAPE IN HALF!
The crowd went silent, staring collectively as the dreamscape slowly began to tear. Slowly at first, but soon enough, ponies were waking up and falling out of their beds in panic as their hopes and dreams were mercilessly torn to shreds by none other than the Guardian of Dreams herself, Princess Luna.
Luna frowned, her captive audience falling through the bottomless void in the dreamscape.
"COME BACK!" she hollered in her Royal Canterlot VoiceTM, "WE HAVEN'T EVEN SHOWN YOU HOW IT WORKS UNDERWATER YET!"
Luna jerked awake, sweating profusely as Sunset Shimmer dabbed a cloth over the mare's forehead. How did Sunset get into Luna's bedroom? We'll probably never know.
As for the unicorn that was currently dabbing with a Shamwow cloth in her hooves, let's just assume that she wants to make the sweat cringe itself away.
"I BROKE THE DREAMSCAPE!" Luna wailed, surprising the dabbing Sunset. Without another word, Luna's magic grabbed hold of the mare, and the two vanished in a flash of KFC-scented magic. Once again, don't ask.
Luna and Sunset reappeared in the former's Soopr-Seeeeecret Vidya-Gaem BunkaTM, much to the annoyance of the bunker's current inhabitant, Vice-Principal Luna.
The Vice-Principal raised a brow, pointing her controller at Sunset.
"Why'd you bring one of my students into our bunker, Luly?" She said through a mouthful of Doritos, "You know the rules."
Luna rolled her eyes at her human counterpart. "No bringing unpermitted people or ponies into the bunker," she groaned, "but forget about that for a moment, our very livelihood is at stake here?"
"You're referring to yourself with plurals again."
"MY very livelihood is at stake!" Luna corrected herself. The Vice-Principal facepalmed.
"Well, figure something out then," VP Luna dismissed, tossing her controller to the side and switching to broadcast TV. "Besides, who am I to give advice to a horse goddess, even if I'm technically them?"
Luna made a face at her counterpart. "Fine then, I'll fix it myself."
The Princess of the Night and a still-dazed Sunset Shimmer vanished in a puff of Dorito-flavored magic. Don't even think about how magic can have a taste in the first place.
Moments later, Luna and Sunset materialized straight into a dumpster just outside of Luna's window. Naturally, a sickening crunch rang out in their ears as they landed on heaps upon heaps of empty Dorito bags and broken headsets. And a few equally-broken desks as well... Okay, more than a few.
...
...
Luna has a problem with table-flipping when she's angry with being PWNED by the so-called "noobs" that she supposedly always faces.
"How are we gonna fix the dreamscape?!" Luna panicked, shaking Sunset's limp body with her hooves, "HOW?! Celly's gonna banish me if she finds out that I broke dreaming!"
"Shamwow."
"Excuse you."
Sunset Shimmer held up a damp Shamwow cloth, still moist with Luna's sweat. A smirk grew across her face as she draped the oversized, extra-absorbant cloth over her head. A single word emanated from underneath the cloth.
"Shimwow."
Luna snatched the cloth from Sunset, leaving a sad Shamwow salesmare in her place.
"Gimme that!"
"Aww..."
The glow of Luna's magic wrapped around Sunset.
"And you're gonna help me fix the dreamscape, too!"
The two dematerialized in a shower of happy little stars. And a happy little asteroid too, because everyone needs a friend.
"OOF!"
Luna and Sunset Shimmer landed in a puddle of pure imagination. Actually, scratch that, make it an ocean of pure imagination, all of which was currently gushing torrentially from the torn seams of the dreamscape.
"HELP!"
Luna's ears perked, prompting the Princess to turn and face the location Sunset Shimmer was standing at just moments prior.
"HELP! I'M BEING CARRIED AWAY BY THE CURRENTS OF SOMEPONY'S BAD FANFICTION!"
Scrambling for a solution that wouldn't result in the both of them drowning in the intensifying downpour of dreams, Luna pulled out...
Sunset Shimmer's Shamwow cloth, still damp with Luna's sweat.
"SUNSET!" Luna hollered at the mare being carried away by liquified magic sheep, "WHAT IS THE FLUID ABSORPTION CAPACITANCE OF THIS STRANGE CLOTH?"
"Ten to thirteen tiiiiiiiimes!" Sunset shouted back, her voice rapidly fading into the noise of the currents.
Luna stared at the obviously-too-small Shamwow cloth, then to the very-wet river of dreams. Granted, this was the dreamscape, where anything can happen.
Naturally, she threw the Shamwow cloth into the river, only to watch the now-drenched cloth also be carried away by the current.
"Darnit, and I thought that it'd suck up all the dreams, too," Luna muttered, lighting her horn and dragging the Shamwow cloth from the river, "I guess I'll have to make some... modifications."
HALF AN HOUR OF FLEX-TAPING THE SHAMWOW LATER...
Captain Luna Moon sailed the mighty waves of her subjects' runny mash of hopes, dreams, and aspirations. On what boat, you may ask? Well, this may as well be one of the only times I answer such a question, so listen closely, young'uns.
Princess Missy Moon Moon sailed the high seas on a boat constructed from Shamwow and Flex Tape.
By this time, it can be safely assumed that Sunset Shimmer has long-since vanished beneath the waves of the dreams of the hoofball fans' rampant cheering.
Luna held a pair of binoculars to her eyes-- also made of Flex Tape. Not her eyes, obviously, the binoculars.
Far off in the distance, in the corner of her not-at-all-magnified-vision, Luna spotted Sunset Shimmer, lounging peacefully on a basketball-court-sized slab of Shamwow.
"Wow," Luna noted, staring at Sunset, "That's a lotta Shamwow for a single Shimmer."
Now that Sunset's safety had been confirmed, Luna turned her focus back to the task at hoof: Flex-Taping the dreamscape back together.
With the power of rainbows and happiness and more rainbows and the undying drive to right the wrongs of all that have crossed her, Luna simply willed her Shamwow-Flex Tape ship into the air, catching a gushing breeze in the large Flex Tape sails and proceeding towards the tear in the dreamscape.
Luna glanced back one more time at Sunset Shimmer, who now had a floating mansion made of Shamwow.
Do it for the Flex Tape. A voice whispered in her mind, Prove that it even works underwater.
...Underwater... Mumbled Luna, her trusty roll of Flex Tape hanging on her foreleg, Under... dreams...
The first piece of Flex Tape that touched the dreamscape was said to have brought to fruition the wishes of every Make-A-Wish foal to ever have dreamt.
The second piece of Flex Tape parted the sea of dreams, making way for Sunset to shimmy her way upstream in her Shamwow mech.
The third and final piece of Flex Tape that Luna applied came complete with a Shamwow cloth wrapped around it, the doublt-whammy impacting the very fabric of the universe and causing its effects to ripple all across space and time. Everywhere at once, from within the newly-sealed dreamscape to even our reality, babies stopped crying, phones instantly charged to 100%, free extra credit was given on semester tests, student loans were forgiven, taxes were returned, nuclear fusion was achieved, the environment was restored, and male-pattern baldness reversed. Many other miracles happened as well, but to simply utter the name of "ShamFlexWowTape" was already enough to bring enlightenment to the world.
And that's how the dreamscape was fixed using Shamwow and Flex Tape, courtesy of Sunset Shimmer and Luna.
