Ocellus found notes of peaches, and crushed rocks. Some sweetness danced on the tip of her tongue, but it was muted and dull, kind of like a syrup that had been watered down. She closed her eyes, feeling the feeling spread throughout the rest of her mouth. Mineral water. Butter. The bitterness of black coffee.
She opened her eyes again, ceasing to glow as she saw Thorax across the table, wide-eyed with a confused expression.
He opened and closed his mouth several times before eventually stuttering “Did you––did you just taste me?”
Ocellus blushed and looked away. Unfortunately, the rest of the cafe’s patrons were still staring at them, so it didn’t do much. She didn’t blame them. It probably wasn’t too often in Ponyville that you saw two changelings walk into your coffee shop and sit down like nothing was up.
“Ocellus...” Thorax started, a stern, fatherly tone into her voice.
Her eyes snapped back to his. “S-Sorry, Thorax! You just seemed...off.”
She punctuated the last word by looking him up and down. His posture was sagging, his eyes had pronounced bags under them, his chitin, normally a vibrant green, felt dark and sickly, and when he blinked it looked more like he was simply closing his eyes on purpose, and opening them back up two seconds later.
The changeling leader’s hard gaze softened. “And what did you find?”
“You’re really overworked, aren’t you?” she asked, looking down at her tea, watching her reflection in its tiny golden surface. “It takes a lot for tiredness to come through as a feeling as opposed to simply being a biological reaction, and you had the most vivid exhaustion I’ve ever tasted in my life. And I know I wasn’t out in the field gathering love for too long, but I’m sure my parents would say the same.”
Thorax sighed as he sunk into his chair a bit. “You’re right...I haven’t had a day off in forever. Today was supposed to be relaxing but Twilight asked me to participate in an experiment and then when that was over I went to see you and –– and here we are,” he finished, throwing his head back. “I’m sorry. I really am happy to see you, but my body just isn’t in tune with my mind right now.”
Ocellus bit her lip, running her mind through possible solutions. “Can’t Pharynx take over for a day?”
He sunk deeper into his seat, laying his long, slender neck on the table, chin nearly reaching her teacup. “There’s been sightings of rogue dragons flying near the land. We’re cooperating with Ember to make sure they don’t try anything but that means Pharynx has to be away from the hive for most of the day.”
“Anyone else?”
“If you can think of someone, I’ll consider them,” Thorax said, closing his eyes. “I’m just so tired. Tomorrow’s supposed to be easy––all I have to do is watch the championship ping-pong match and then sit in my office for a couple of hours answering questions and inquiries, but I feel like I’m going to feel like I’m facing off against Chrysalis all over again.”
“So, you’re just going to be watching ping-pong, and then answering questions that you probably don’t know off the top of your head, and will need to consult a law book and official aide on?”
“Yeah, but even if I could find a replacement, I doubt that the ping-pong athletes and everyone else would be very happy if it wasn’t me officiating.”
A shimmering sound chimed majestically through the air, followed by Thorax’s own voice saying “Are you forgetting just what we are?”
Thorax sat up and opened his eyes to see himself grinning rogueishly.
“I can do it,” Ocellus said, as him. “You know I’m good with books, and after two weeks of midterms I think I’ll be glad to sit, watch sports and turn my brain off for a couple of hours.”
Thorax shook his head immediately. “No. No. Absolutely not. You’re not skipping class and I’m not passing off the responsibilities of Hive Leader––“
“It’s for one day, and I only have one class tomorrow, which I’ve already done the readings for,” Ocellus retorted, still in his form. “Come on. Let me do this for you.”
Thorax was at a loss. He looked around, ignoring all the ponies still staring at them, as if he might find the right thing to do by looking close enough at the cafe’s decorations.
He didn’t.
He chewed on his lip. “I really shouldn’t.”
“How are you going to serve our people when you can barely see straight?” Ocellus asked.
Hearing his own voice saying that out loud gave Thorax chills. Like his subconscious had somehow come to life. He shook his head, shutting his eyes. “No. No. I’m your leader. This shouldn’t even be a discussion.”
Ocellus gently smiled at him, though he didn’t see it. “You are, and I’m glad for that. But you can’t go on doing this, and I can help. I can fix your problems. Please. Let me be generous. And kind.”
She reached out and took his hoof, squeezing it affectionately.
“Please, Thorax.”
“I...” he huffed, opening his eyes to see himself smiling back, looking proud and happy, not tired at all, and the instant he realized that he hadn’t seen himself look like that in ages, he was lost.
He sighed in defeat. “...Fine. But I’m going to your class as you and taking notes, just in case.”
He heard himself giggle, and Ocellus detransformed, clapping her hooves together happily. “Yay!”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Thorax said.
“Of course!” she replied. “It sounds fun!”
“You’re sure you’re sure?”
“Yes,” she droned.
“Well,” he said as he reached across the table to pet her head softly. “Thank you, Ocellus. I won’t forget this.”
School was easy.
Thorax shifted again, still getting comfortable in his smaller, more fragile form.
“And what makes a personal gift so special?” Rarity asked the class.
Thorax raised his hoof.
“Ocellus?”
“There’s no one like you,” he answered, delighting in the girly chime that was Ocellus’s voice. “No one can do what you do, and no one can make a gift like you too. You’re special, and when you give someone something that came from you, it’s something that can never be replaced or replicated.”
“Very good!” Rarity said. “Now...”
The rest of the lecture went by rather quickly. Whenever Rarity asked a question, Thorax would raise his hoof and answer it. Or he wouldn’t, and Silverstream, for all her enthusiasm, would get it slightly wrong, so he’d raise his hoof and gently correct her. Thorax decided halfway through that he liked Silverstream –– she was nice! He made a mental note to try and establish a better friendship with the hippogriffs. If she was anything to go by, they were a wonderful race.
By the end of class, he seemed to be the last creature with any sort of energy, and the only one who was sad when Rarity gave her blessing to pack up. If this was all Ocellus had to deal with every day, no wonder she was at the top of her class.
Soon enough, the bell rang, and Thorax trotted out of the room.
That was easy enough! Now to find somewhere to change back and––
Suddenly arms wrapped around his underbelly and hoisted him into the air. Thorax squealed, flailing around to no avail. Whoever his captor was, they sure were strong.
A raspy voice giggled above him. “You were the one that asked for this.”
“I was?” Thorax asked, looking up to have his vision filled with scales of beige and orange.
“I mean, not explicitly,” she responded. “But what else am I supposed to think when you mention that you like being carried places?”
“W-Where are we going?”
“Someplace private,” Smolder said, turning a corner into an empty hall and gently dropping him on his butt. “Here’s good enough –– you ready for tonight?”
Oh no. Thorax coughed. “What’s...what’s tonight?”
The dragoness stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re very funny. Look: if I go to my dorm now, I’m not actually gonna do anything. I’m not really in a napping mood so I’d just be waiting around until you were down to go out. So, I was wondering,” she bit her lip, cheeks flushing. “You wanna just start right now?”
Find a way out. Find a way out of this and then send a letter to Ocellus and detransform. Thorax rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. “Uhh...I have to study.”
“But we’ve been talking about this for two whole weeks and we decided that today was good because we had no more midterms to worry about,” said Smolder, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. “Were you lying to me?”
“No!” Thorax gasped, stepping back but only managing to push himself against a wall. “No, I’m just –– sorry, it’s been a long day.”
“Oh, come on, you had a single class,” she snickered, playfully petting Thorax’s head. “Come on, let’s go to Sugarcube Corner. We’ll grab some milkshakes to wake you up.”
“Sounds good,” Thorax said, smiling wide to make up for his quivering voice. “Let’s –– let’s do that.”
Ocellus must have forgotten something. She must have. And now Smolder was jumping the gun on that something. Which meant that Thorax was trapped.
Exactly what he was trapped in, well, that was the question, wasn’t it?
He took a sip of his milkshake, trying his best to enjoy the taste of it and the sweet smell of Sugarcube Corner, and not to get intimidated by the sharp blue eyes of the dragoness in front of him.
“Anyway,” she said, continuing a rant of some sort that Thorax had spent the last few minutes not listening to. “That’s why Princess Platinum should never have been forgiven by Equestria and also I hate that class and it’s boring.”
Thorax hummed dully in agreement, taking another sip. Maybe he should just tell the truth.
Or...
Or...
His eyes fluttered. His head lolled. Maybe he could just close his eyes for a second and he could think of the answer with some peace and quiet.
Smolder shoved her face into his line of view. “Uh, you okay?”
He straightened his posture. “I’m fine, Smolder. My dear friend. Why would you ask that?”
“Because you’re not passionately defending the importance of Pre-Equestrian Friendships, which is, like, one of your favorite classes?” she said, quirking a brow as her expression became suspicious. “Are you sure you’re feeling yourself?”
“Hahahahahaha,” Thorax laughed, throwing his head back so she wouldn’t be able to see his eyes, which were wide and bulging out with pure terror. He could do it. He could let the façade slide. And...and admit that he was a terrible leader, and reveal that Ocellus had forgotten about whatever this was, and ruin everything.
He could do it right now. And then it’d be a matter of simply going home and switching with Ocellus again.
“Of course I’m myself,” he slurred after a moment as he slipped back into calm, sitting up normally. “Hey –– where are the rest of our friends?”
“Dunno,” Smolder muttered as she looked away.
That was definitely not a good sign. Thorax steeled himself, and smiled bravely, trying and failing to meet her gaze. “Did I say something wrong?”
The dragoness muttered again, but her words were jumbled and low.
“Sorry, what?”
Her eyes became distant. She took a quick sip of her milkshake before repeating herself. “You keep bringing them up. I like hanging out when it’s all of us too, but am I like, not good enough alone or something?”
“No!” Thorax said. “No,” he repeated immediately after. “I’m sorry. Look, my memory’s been really bad lately, and I haven’t been feeling...myself. I don’t think I’m getting enough sleep, and I’m so sorry if I hurt your feelings, Smolder. I didn’t mean to do that. You’re absolutely good enough on your own.”
She turned, a quizzical expression on her face. “Wait, your memory? Are you sure you don’t need a doctor or something like that?”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he assured her knowingly. “Will you forgive me for hurting you?”
“You’d have to try a little harder than that to actually do some damage, but I forgive you,” Smolder purred, once again at ease. “Hey, you wanna finish up and get out of here? Carousel Boutique closes early today and I wanna make sure that we get there when there’s nopony-slash-creature else around.”
“Carousel –– Rarity’s?”
“Yeah, we’re going to try on a bunch of dresses, remember?”
Thorax’s wings shot out and flittered, chirping excitedly as they rubbed together. His cheeks filled with heat at the sound, and he squirmed in his seat to keep himself under control.
Why was he excited?
“You. Dresses? And me?”
Smolder grabbed her milkshake with a claw and downed it in two seconds, slamming the empty glass onto the table with a cheeky grin. “That’s the spirit.”
Ocellus liked ping-pong. It looked so silly from the outside, and even when you really got into it, it stayed rather silly regardless. But it was fun, and there was sincerely nothing in the world that was more wild than a crowd of changelings watching and playing professional sports.
The arena was a large, cavernous cave with an Equestrian Table Tennis Association regulation table in the very middle, and off to the side Ocellus sat in a makeshift throne of rocks. She was disguised as Thorax, of course, and she was greatly enjoying her newfound height. A simple crane of her neck and she could scan the entirety of half the cave, which was crowded by wide-eyed changelings who had come to fiercely cheer on their favorite player. The other half was nearly perfectly mirrored, though a little less crowded to make room for a clear exit.
Casual ping-pong was a relaxing affair. The ball would bounce leisurely between the two sides until someone missed, or straight up forgot to swing.
Competitive ping-pong was comparatively insane.
Every swing from one of the players was accompanied by a sharp crack as the ball shot from their paddle and into the table at lightning speed. Gasps from all around the room would arise, swirling into a cacophony of anticipation around Ocellus’s ears until a half second later, when the other player would return a shot equally as precise and strong as the first, and the process would repeat all over again.
Eventually, though, someone would miss, and the crowd would cheer for a moment before suppressing their mania to look at her.
Officiating, Ocellus decided, was not only easy, but fun. All she had to do was watch the game, and know how to deliver a story with suspense.
And after a winter break full of Sandbar’s stories, she knew exactly what not to do.
She looked over the crowd of bulging eyes, feeling their anticipation as they waited for her to decide.
She looked at the two athletes in the middle, expression blank. She thought of Gallus –– the griffon’s poker face was known around the school for being unreadable and impenetrable. She did her best impression of him, and held a long stare between herself and the athlete that scored the point.
And then she smiled, and nodded.
The crowd went wild, thrashing around and cheering, blood rushing like raging rivers of adrenaline as the scorekeeper beside her added a point to the board.
Their excitement filled her taste buds like a refreshing glass of lemonade, and she sighed in delight as she glowed brightly. She was good at this. Thorax put his trust in the best changeling for the job.
If she was to be honest, though, she kind of wished that she had one of her friends here with her. Gallus or Smolder, probably. Maybe Silverstream. Actually, any of her friends would be nice. All of them would be preferable.
Why did she have this weird feeling, like there was something wrong but it was vaguely out of her mind’s reach?
The crowd murmured to each other as one of the players made an out of bounds shot. They looked to her.
She frowned sadly, shaking her head. A collective groan followed, and the game restarted.
Was she...forgetting anything?
No.
Couldn’t be.
She was great. She had impeccable memory.
The probability of her forgetting something was, like, well, she didn’t have any books to look up any formulas for this kind of thing but she was completely sure that––
“Thorax?”
Ocellus flinched in her seat, away from the aide that had seemingly come out of nowhere.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Dragon Lord Ember is here to see you.”
“What?”
“She’s being very impatient, so if you could hurry...”
She blinked. “Uh. But I have to officiate the––“
“We’ve told you a thousand times, Thorax. You have a bad habit of imagining obligations and it’s very, very sweet at times but it’s ping-pong. Ember is demanding to see you. She seemed very frantic.”
Ocellus looked away, trying desperately to come up with a plan––
“Thorax!”
She grimaced. “I need to get to someone who can send messages to Ponyville.”
“No time,” the aide glared at her. “Come on now. We have a very stressed out dragoness who might burn the hive down on accident if we leave her alone too long.”
Ember fervently paced back and forth from one end of the cave to the next, a cobalt blue ball of stormy fury.
Ocellus could relate. If her thoughts and her stress level could be visualized, Ember would be it.
“I hate this. You don’t deserve any of this. This is all my fault. I should have been stronger. I should have been undeniable. They shouldn’t be––ughhhhhh,” Ember groaned, grabbing her head with both claws. “I’m so tired.”
She tasted guilt on her tongue –– like black licorice sprinkled with salt. Poor thing... Ocellus’s heart soared with sympathy, and she rushed forward to rub her cheek against the dragon’s. “I know. Just take a moment, calm down and tell me what’s wrong. Slowly.”
She had no idea what she was talking about, of course, but she figured that this was the right thing to do. If a friend was in distress, initiating physical contact was a good way to get them to feel relaxed and open up. It was a gamble trying it on Ember, of course, but Smolder liked being hugged and nuzzled (when nocreature was around at least), so she figured that it was worth the risk.
And it was. Ember visibly relaxed, and Ocellus stepped back to sit on the ground and listen to her whatever she had to say.
“We still have no idea where the rogue dragons are hiding.”
“The ones that Pharynx is helping you with, right?”
“Yeah. I feel like we’ve searched every inch of this place, but unless they’re hiding way beneath the ground, it doesn’t look like they’re here,” Ember explained. “But if they aren’t, then they’re getting here faster than anything else in Equestria!”
Ocellus brought the crook of her forehoof to her lips, gently pressing them together as she went over the various possibilities. “The only explanation I can think of for that is that they’re being teleported in. So: either they’re a unicorn is helping them, which is unlikely because there are few unicorns capable of mass teleporting a swarm of dragons like that regularly –– even Starlight and Twilight would need at least a couple of weeks’ recuperation after doing that twice. That leaves the theory that it’s something else. A magical artifact, maybe? From my perspective, that might be the most likely source. Which means that we’ve been looking in the wrong spots. They could be coming in from anywhere in Equestria and the Dragon Lands. And I know that that’s cold comfort after spending so long searching the Badlands, but now we can coordinate a plan of attack.”
She began to launch into her proposed plan, but stopped when she saw Ember’s jaw had dropped, and she was looking at her wide, enchanted gaze.
“What?”
“You –– wow, I thought that you seemed tired last time I saw you but...” the dragoness stepped closer to her, getting her face nice and close and mere inches away. “You’re doing really great, Thorax. I’m really proud of you.”
Love. Ocellus tasted genuine love, creamy and cold and not-too-sweet-but-just-sweet-enough like the world’s best strawberry ice cream. Her eyes widened.
Oh, right! Ocellus was Thorax. And Ember was...
Ember was getting closer and closing her eyes and her lips were getting really really close what the hay was she gonna––
“I have an idea!” Ocellus squawked, speed-trotting to the entrance of the cave. “I think I know where they might be coming in from.”
She didn’t have to turn back to see Ember’s momentary look of longing, but she felt it, and it broke her heart. If only she was actually Thorax...
But soon enough Ember had flown up right beside her. “Where?”
“There’s an area outside of the hive lands –– a forest that used to be the mark for where Equestrian Magic could still work before being negated by Chrysalis’s old throne. I think,” she exhaled, blinking slowly. “I think that we might find something there. Traces that the artifact might have left behind.”
Ember grinned. “What are we waiting for, then?”
Ocellus’s heart raced, and a flash of orange, beige, blue and purple flickered through her eyes before she decided to lean forward and nuzzle the dragoness. “Nothing at all, Ember.”
The Dragon Lord, the personification of power, independence, and ruthlessness, blushed and stroked the side of her neck.
They enjoyed the moment for a moment longer, and turned and took to the sky.
Back in the day, when the humble race of the Changelings still gathered love from involuntary donors, they wore disguises. This was fact, and a well known one at that. What wasn’t well known is everything beyond that. One example of this was Disassociation, and its commonality among members of the hive who hadn’t been sent out into the field for a while.
Disassociation was, essentially, a state in which the gatherer forgot him/herself. Where a gatherer forgot that he or she was an entity that existed independently of their disguise, whatever that disguise may have been. Frequently, gatherers would return to the hive and still be in ‘pony-mode’. Hugging, smiling, and musical numbers would arise spontaneously from changelings affected with Disassociation, and they’d usually have to be quarantined from the rest of the functional hive for a week or two until they had remembered their place.
Thorax looked at his reflection, who stood poised on top of a pedestal in the Carousel Boutique changing room.
He saw a seafoam colored changeling nymph with a beautiful salmon colored silk dress that draped perfectly around her, bouncing off of her form in delicate waves that pooled slightly on the ground like a light red waterfall, and he actually, genuinely thought to himself, “I look pretty.”
And this was a problem, obviously, because he wasn’t Thorax right now. He was Ocellus. And he was with Smolder, who was right beside him, eyes sparkling as she admired his elegant figure in the mirror.
“I like that dress on you,” she whispered, a claw digging into his withers slightly.
Thorax winced. “Ow! Smolder...”
The dragoness blinked, suddenly remembering where she was and immediately withdrew her hand from his back. “Sorry. Sorry, Ocellus! I don’t know what came over me.”
He threw a foreleg over the other, winking at her. “I think I do.”
She broke his gaze, staring at a rack of dresses with a furious blush on her face. “Whatever.”
“Why don’t you try something on?” he asked. “Ever since we got here I’ve been the only one dressing up.”
“I will!” she insisted, gaze becoming wistful as she walked closer to the rack. “Just, like –– I don’t know –– give me a moment or something.”
“I’ll give you a single moment, but I’ve definitely found my dress for the evening, so it’s not like I need to try on anything else.”
The dragoness looked over her shoulder, brilliant blue eyes searching for a reason to trust. “You sure I should?”
Thorax nodded vigorously. “You see that black one towards the end, there? I think that’d be great on you.”
Smolder flew over and brought said dress to the mirror immediately, keeping it on its hangar but putting it over her body as she tried to visualize just what it’d look like on her. After a bit of contemplation, she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “You know, you’re being extra weird today, but you might actually be right about this dress.”
“You’ll never know until you put it on,” Thorax chimed playfully, wings fluttering.
She exhaled in response, breathing a slow, steady stream of smoke out of her nostrils. “...You think I’m gonna look cute?”
“No,” Thorax said, shaking his head as he trotted over to the dragon. She turned to him with a horrified and furious expression that broke when he rubbed her shoulder with a hoof and whispered “You’re going to look adorable.”
“Ocellus...” she said quietly. A war was being waged in her mind that was evident when you looked closely as her eyes. She stopped talking for a moment, seemed to decide on a plan of action, and opened her mouth to talk again. “I –– no, you know what? Come here.“
Two strong claws cupped Thorax’s cheeks and pulled him in.
Their noses touched, Smolder rubbing hers on Thorax’s in a shaky, subdued fashion, like she was bursting with power and she was doing everything she could to hold herself back. Thorax glowed softly, involuntarily tasting strawberry ice-cream, and while it would have been a welcome taste in any other situation, right now it was like a cold glass of water had been splashed in his face.
He wasn’t Ocellus. He shouldn’t have been there. He should have been at home.
Smolder smelled like sandalwood, with a slight hint of tar. So, so close to Ember, but not quite there.
What was he doing?
Smolder started to whisper something else, but the sound of hoofsteps clacked into the room and they pulled away from each other at once.
“Oh giiirls!” chirped Rarity as she trotted happily into the room, her violet mane frazzled. “I’m dreadfully sorry I couldn’t be with you this whole time but Sandbar’s handwriting on his mid-term proved extremely difficult to parse. I hope you’ve found something to your liking?”
Smolder side-eyed Thorax with a smirk. “Yeah, I think we’re done here, professor Rarity.”
“Wonderful! Of course, you two get the student discount of 90% off the initial retail price. Now, if you’ll follow me...”
Thorax followed behind the two as they chatted about the dresses and sizes and how Rarity wanted to design something custom made for the two of them when they all had the chance, and it was like he was walking through mud. How was he going to leave?
His ears drooped. How could he be to casual about lying to his friends?
He had to end this soon. He had to––
“Ocellus?”
He looked up, seeing Smolder wave her over. “Come on, I’m paying for your dress and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“O-okay,” he said.
He had to tell her the truth.
They made casual conversation with Rarity as they paid, and soon enough they were out the door and walking back towards the school. The sun was on its way to setting, casting down a golden hue that both softened the colors around them, and made them glow.
Thorax’s blood grew hot with anxiety. Now or never.
“Smolder, I––“
“Am really excited for our tea party?” she interrupted with a grin. “Me too. I’ve been looking forward to this for like, okay, two weeks isn’t that long, but it’s felt like months. I...I’m really glad you’re here with me, Ocellus.” she coughed, blushing. “It means a lot.”
“N-no problem,” he stuttered, beaming back. “I can’t wait.”
He was doomed.
The wind soared underneath Ocellus’s wings, carrying her high into the sky with the sort of ease that her normal form wouldn’t have been able to have. She closed her eyes, feeling the breeze on her face, and wondered why Thorax wasn’t in the air all the time. It was amazing.
“Enjoying yourself?” Ember’s voice purred from her side.
“I love flying,” Ocellus explained.
“Really? You’ve never told me that,” the dragon replied, putting a claw to her chin. “We’ll have to fly together more often. It’d be fun to race around the Badlands, even if I’d have to go a little slower to keep pace with you.”
She twirled lazily, feeling the afternoon sunlight on her gossamer wings. “That sounds wonderful.”
They sped up, flying faster and faster until the ground beneath Ocellus was barely coherent, turning into a blur of beige and rock and the occasional dusty green plant.
And then they reached the forest. Ocellus stopped in her tracks, Ember doing the same.
“Where to, Thorax?”
She clicked her tongue. This was a place she had only been to twice before. Once, when she was a tiny little nymph, and a drone had been assigned to show her and the other young members of the swarm where to never venture off to. The second was when Thorax had taken her to Equestria.
But she remembered a clearing. An oddly empty space within the trees, hidden from normal sight and only visible from a certain spot that you had to take an unorthodox path to get to in the first place. And she remembered the spot.
She had the solutions. She could help. Thorax would thank her for today.
“I know where to go,” she said, feeling the warmth of her confidence radiate from within her. “Follow me!”
Ocellus zipped forward, straying from the beaten path and heading into the thick of the trees, where she zigzagged around every tree that stood in her way like she could see the future. Ember followed close behind her.
This was just like Head Mare Twilight’s adventures! She was going to jump in, use friendship to solve whatever problems arose, and then come out fine.
She was studied for this. She was ready.
She’d come home, having solved two problems in the same day, and she’d––
“Thorax! Slow down?”
“What?” she called back. “I’m fine. I’ve flown through these woods before.”
And she’d have a closer friend in Thorax, and she’d feel great.
Really, she wouldn’t be surprised if she was offered the option of skipping a year or two.
She wouldn’t take it, though. That would mean less time with her friends.
Ocellus blinked, idly dodging a particularly peculiar arrangement of trees.
Was she forgetting something?
“Thorax!”
She turned around, finally slowing down to see Ember speeding towards her. She nearly asked what was wrong before she remembered.
“Oh nuts, Smolder!”
And then, as quickly as thoughts could be made and emotions could be felt, a sort of wind blew past her, and she looked down to realize that her entire body was on fire.
The next fireball hit her square in the head, and she saw black.
Thorax cleared his throat. “Smolder?”
“Hold on,” she said, turning back to him with a smile. They were both in the dresses they picked out at Carousel Boutique, and even though Smolder had been anxious the whole way back to the dorms, now that they were actually at their rooms and no one had seen them, she was as excited as she could be. Her claw gripped the doorknob. “Check this out.”
She opened the door.
Inside there was a bed –– Smolder’s, and its covered were messy and thrown around, with the odd stain here and there –– and to the side was a completely pristine desk. In the free space from the door to those things was a table, and on top of the table were candles.
The table was enough to seat two creatures, and it was covered with a beautiful white silk cloth that shimmered underneath the candlelight. At the centre of it all was a three-tiered tea tray completely covered with what was sure to be fresh food and pastries. Beside the tray was a tea pot, and on both ends were fresh cups of tea, still steaming.
Thorax’s jaw dropped. “How –– how did you––“
“Spike owed me a favor,” bragged Smolder as she pretended to check her claws for dirt. Her voice turned small as she side-eyed him. “Do you like it?”
“I...yes. I love it, Smolder.”
She beamed, and flew over to the table, pulling a chair out for Thorax and daring to quickly nuzzle him as he fell deeper into despair. When he was settled in, she took a seat at the other side of the table and cleared her throat. “So, I just want to––“
“Okay, I can’t do this anymore,” Thorax announced, standing up.
“O-Ocellus?”
He shook his head, detransforming and reverting to his original form. “I’m not Ocellus.”
He waited for a second, letting her realize the truth, before she made a noise of disgust.
“You know, if you don’t wanna be here, you can just say so.”
Thorax blinked. “Uh, I’m Thorax.”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” she rolled her eyes. “Choke on some manure, why don’t you? Or whatever it is that you bugs eat.”
He raised an eyebrow. “No, Smolder, really. I’m not Ocellus. I haven’t been the entire day.”
“Well that’s true for sure,” she spat. “Ocellus is caring, and she listens to my problems, and she knows better than to transform her way out of plans that she clearly doesn’t want to be a part of, so she can just leave.”
Smolder crossed her arms, snorting smoke out of her nostrils.
Thorax shook his head. “No, seriously. I’m not Ocellus.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
The door broke, kicked down by a blue dragon carrying a light blue changeling in one arm.
"Thorax!” she roared as she stomped into the room.
“Ember?” they asked simultaneously.
From Ember’s side, Ocellus stirred, held fast by the dragon lord’s grip. She saw her friend and gasped. “S-Smolder?”
“...Ocellus?” The orange dragon blinked, eyes slowly widening. She turned to face Thorax. “You –– you were telling the truth? Wait. That means. You. I...” she looked down, and quickly ripped up the dress she was wearing as she turned to Ember. “We are not having a tea party right now.”
But Ember didn’t care. She only had eyes for Thorax. She dropped Ocellus unceremoniously to the ground as she crept towards him. “Why?”
“I can’t –– I don’t know,” Thorax shook his head. “I don’t––“
“Have you been avoiding me?”
“No!”
“Then what the hay!”
“Ember, I’m sorry, just––“
She leaned forward suddenly, and he flinched. “No.”
She almost said more. She almost told him exactly what was on her mind, but she simply glared at him for a second longer and flew out of the room.
“You’ve been somewhere else?” screeched Smolder. Thorax turned and saw the dragon roaring at a cowering Ocellus in a sad, sad mirror of what just happened to him. “What, so you –– you forgot? After––“
“After we planned it all out, I know,” Ocellus whimpered, tearing up. “Smolder, I’m so sorry. I just thought that I could help Thorax––“
“Don’t blame this on him,” Smolder growled. “Don’t. This is on you. I’ve––everyone’s seen me in this dress now––why did you forget?” her voice cracked. Thorax didn’t need to be a changeling to feel her heartbreak. “What, do you just not care?”
Ocellus gasped. “Of course I do!”
“Then why didn’t you act like it?”
Silence loomed over them like a cloud. Smolder stood, shaking with anger for a second longer, blinked away tears, and flew out of the room in the exact same fashion as her leader.
They sat in the quiet a while, letting their ears ring from all the yelling. It was times like these that Ocellus wished that the changelings were a hivemind, so she could hear Thorax’s thoughts, and hear his as well. Maybe even get some advice from her mother and father while she was at it. It seemed possible that only they would know how to fix this mess.
Her parents were miles away, though, and she had missed the opportunity to visit them because she was busy playing pretend. They would be disappointed in her.
Ocellus wanted to cry, and she nearly did, until she heard Thorax softly weeping.
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” he cried. “I just –– I just wanted a day off...”
“I know,” she said, scooting over and putting a hoof on his. “But this is my fault,” she swallowed, choking down a sob. “I shouldn’t have thought that switching was a good idea. This isn’t the old days. Transformation shouldn’t be how we solve our problems.”
Thorax shook his head, sniffling. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I’m the adult here.”
She laughed bitterly. “I guess we both messed up, then.”
Self-pity tasted like over-steeped tea and moldy blueberries. The flavor spread through both of their mouths, as thick and heavy as a mouthful of ice cream.
Ocellus wanted to gag. She was sure that Thorax wanted to as well. But the feeling wouldn’t leave until...
Until they made it go away.
She tasted a new feeling. Fear was like smoke from burning dead leaves. She almost wished for the self-pity back.
“Thorax,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I should have talked to someone from the hive and worked towards a solution.”
“I’m sorry too,” he muttered. “If I’m being honest, most of my obligations aren’t actually––“
“Real? I know. You should really relax. Why do you feel like you need to do everything?”
“Because! Because I’m weak, and cowardly, and I don’t know anything about ruling. So I have to make up for all of that by working extra hard.”
He hung his head. “I don’t deserve to be ruler of the hive.”
“You showed everyone how to feel again!” Ocellus argued. “You ushered in a new age. You’re the leader we need, Thorax, and you make mistake sometimes, but that’s okay. As long as you do your best to be better and to fix them. Plus: it’s not like you completely forgot about plans that were a huge deal to your friend.”
She rubbed one foreleg with the other. “You have any advice for that?”
Thorax snorted. “Smolder will forgive you. She adores you, you know.”
Ocellus’s cheeks blushed a warm gold. “And I know for sure that Ember loves you. She’ll understand you if you explain yourself.”
“Then we should probably go and apologize.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling alongside him. “We should.”
She moved towards the door, stopping when Thorax put a hoof on her shoulder.
“Hey,” he hummed intimately. “I still appreciate that we did this. You’re learning so much at this school. I’m so proud of you. The Changelings are so proud of you.”
Ocellus smiled, eyes misty. “Thank you, Thorax.”
He nuzzled her, before drawing back and nodding with conviction. “You're welcome. Now let’s get going.”
Thorax found her sitting by the lake where they first became friends, kicking rocks into the river as she snorted fire out of her nose.
He landed quietly, but he was sure that she heard him.
He wasn’t sure what to say. His legs moved of their own accord, creeping closer to the beautiful blue dragon because, well, what else could he do when she was near?
Every step he would take a pause, waiting to see if she’d react, but she never did.
When he was close enough he sat down and searched for words.
“Ember, I’m sorry.”
Silence.
“I should have been there for you. I...I’m just tired of being myself,” he choked. “And I –– I let myself do something stupid and irresponsible because of that, and I’m sorry. I, Ember, please, please just listen to me. This is all my fault. You can never stop being yourself. Not for one second. You just have to make do with what you have and you have to be honest with your friends about what’s going on, and I know that now, so please...”
He stifled a sob. He was pathetic. He was always pathetic. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for her to leave.
But she didn’t move.
“Ember,” he whispered through his whimpers, knowing in his heart that he was being foolish and that she was just watching him squirm a while longer before she took off, and not caring anymore. She just needed to know. “I’m so sorry. Please––”
He was interrupted by a claw on his lips. He exhaled nervously, looking up into her eyes, and to his surprise, there was no hate in them. Not even a hint of anger. Her beautiful eyes that were like two pools of fire and blood on a normal day only gave him a gentle gaze, like he hadn’t done a single thing wrong in his entire life.
Ember was looking down at him with a smile.
“You’re such a drama queen,” she said in a hushed, husky voice. “And you should feel lucky that you’re who you are, because I’d have skinned anyone else alive by now.”
She crouched down slightly, lifting his head up with the claw that shushed him in the first place until they were both level with each other.
“Ember––“ Thorax said, before she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
He melted into her, crying tears of relief as she stroked the side of his neck.
When neither could possibly hold their breath any longer, they pulled apart.
Ember touched noses with him, gently breathing. “All I wanted was an apology, you sap.”
The changeling’s eye watered further. More tears threatened to spill. “Ember––“
She shushed him. “You need to stop trying to act all big and strong, because you’re not.”
He cowered and pulled away, but she wrapped an arm around his neck and kept him in place. “You’re vulnerable and sweet and that’s what makes you a good leader. You care so much. You just need to start remembering that some creatures care about you too. The next time you feel tired or whatever, then tell me, okay? Don’t do some weird switching game with Ocellus where I almost kiss her because I think she’s you. You go straight to your desk, write a letter, and tell me, and we figure it out together. Promise me.”
Thorax nodded. “I-I promise.”
“Good,” said Ember. “Now where were we?”
She leaned in and reunited their lips, giggling into his mouth when he started to cry all over again.
Ocellus floated to the roof of the main school building, her wings buzzing irritably as she rehearsed an apology in her mind. The only problem was that she wasn’t completely sure what to say, so she ended up forming a checklist of things she wanted to do.
- Approach Smolder.
- Ask if she’s okay.
- When she says no, take the opportunity to apologize.
- If she says yes (she won’t mean it), take the opportunity to apologize.
- Hug Smolder and don’t let go until she verbally asks for it.
Windows and brick passed her vision like a waterfall. She saw glimpses into ending lectures, Gallus and Yona studying for a test, Sandbar helping Professor Pinkie Pie bake a cake. Idly, she wondered if her friendship with Smolder would end over this. What would the practical effects of that be? Would they have to share time with each of their friends? Or...
Or would one of them have to leave, and if it came to that, it would obviously be her, wouldn’t it? She was the one who messed up. So she should be the one who gets banished from the hive, so to speak.
Would she have to leave school? She’d no longer be qualified, right? Who could manage to make friends and managed to push them away in the same year they met other than an inadequate changeling?
Ocellus blinked her tears away. She would face the future bravely, and with an open heart. She deserved whatever was coming.
She reached the top of the building, and landed on the purple tile.
On the other side sat Smolder. Her orange scales seemed muted in the evening light, and that was a shame. They belonged out in the sun, happy and radiant and glistening.
Ocellus began to walk, cringing when her hooves made an audible clopping sound against the rooftop. Immediately her eyes snapped towards Smolder, waiting for the dragon to take notice and fly away.
But Smolder didn’t. So Ocellus kept moving.
Her heart raced. Beating faster and faster like she was running a race.
Then she was there. Smolder stiffened up, but did not make any moves to leave.
Ocellus took that as permission to speak.
“Are you oka––“
“I’m not gonna make you apologize for forgetting,” Smolder interrupted. Ocellus’s eyes widened, but the dragon still hadn’t moved. “I forget things all the time. I just –– I wish you were there, and you weren’t.”
Ocellus grit her teeth, slowly breathing out of her nose. “If I could turn back time, then––“
“But you can’t,” Smolder’s monotone cut into her sentence again. “And now I’m –– I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
She turned, her eyes wet but dimmed and unfeeling. “What do I do?”
“You could forgive me,” said Ocellus as she took a single step forward. “You could forgive me and I could do my best to never ever forget about anything ever again, but I know that I can never promise that. Or –– or you couldn’t.”
Smolder’s head tilted slightly, but her stony expression remained.
Ocellus continued, taking two more steps towards the dragon. “You could not forgive me. We could never talk again. And –– and I could stop hanging out with the group. And we’d never have plans for anything again.”
She could have stepped closer to Smolder, but instead she sat down and closed her eyes. “B-but I don’t know if that’s the best decision. Because you know I’m sorry and you know that I feel so terrible about everything. And I know that you’re kinder and more generous than you pretend you are. S-So ohmigosh Smolder please forgive me I can’t do this anymore.
Ocellus shut her eyes tightly and choked down a sob, waiting for her answer.
It came in the form of warm scales and wings wrapping around her like a blanket, and the taste of strawberry ice cream. She didn’t bother opening her eyes. She hugged Smolder back with all her might.
“You just know all of the answers, don’t you?” a raspy, tender voice whispered in her ear.
Ocellus shook her head, which kind of just turned into her nuzzling Smolder’s neck. “No I don’t. That’s why I need you.”
“You’re so sappy.”
“You started it,” she retorted. “And you know, there’s a perfectly good tea party in your room that’s still untouched.”
Smolder drew away, and Ocellus had the pleasure of opening her eyes to see the dragon’s smile.
Claws grasped her hooves. “What are we waiting for, then?”
She giggled as she was dragged away.
“So it turns out that I didn’t even need Pharynx and the others. I beat all of them, one versus forty, and stole away the weird talisman they were using to teleport into the Badlands.”
Thorax murmured something.
“What was that?” Ember asked.
Quiet.
“Thorax?”
Snoring came from her side, echoing softly through the cave within minutes.
Ember laughed to herself as she looked at Thorax’s sleeping form. She settled into the bed of moss that they were in and put her back against his, vigilantly watching the cave entrance. No one would be entering until––
“Thorax!”
She shot out of the bed to meet Pharynx halfway, jutting her legs out and kicking him square in the chest, shooting him out of the cave.
He landed on his back, and before he had time to react she was on him, staring furiously.
“Em––“
She shushed him, covering his muzzle with a claw before pointing back to his brother, fast asleep in his cozy little cave.
Pharynx glared, looking back and forth between her and Thorax before finally groaning under his breath.
She released him and pointed towards the rest of the hive.
“Whatever it is, go deal with it.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn’t. He flew off, muttering to himself.
Ember sighed, and flew back to the cave, and the bed, and stood at the foot of it, guarding her changeling like he was her hoard. In a way, he was.
She smiled to herself. This was going to be fun.
